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Tommy wasn’t having a good day. Nothing really big happened to make it bad, just a lot of little things. He woke up later than normal and had to skip breakfast, there was a test he forgot to study for, the library was closed during lunch etc. just little things. Even though he knew what happened, that didn’t mean he knew why he reacted like this. After dinner Tommy went to his room and cried. Again he doesn’t know why, Tommy just felt bad. He didn’t know what would help so he just sat on his floor crying silently.
Tommy should go find Phil. Phil always knew how to help. He didn’t though, he just sat there listening to the muffled voices of Wilbur and Techno in the kitchen. Tommy must look so pathetic right now hiding in the corner of his dark room. Why can’t he just be normal for once? He bets Tubbo and Ranboo don’t do shit like this. Tommy hates being so weak. Tommy hates being so dramatic. Tommy hates being so himself. Phil said he shouldn’t think like that but he’s not in control of his thoughts anymore. They just keep going and going. Like the swingy things important people have on their desk in the movies. Something cradle, Techno explained it once but Tommy forgot.
Tommy hears footsteps walking down the hallway. Immediately identifying it as Techno, he goes from quiet to silent. Techno’s footsteps walk past Tommy’s door and he hears the opening and closing of Techno's door. Techno had gone to his room. This made Tommy cry harder, still very quiet. He shouldn’t be crying over no one coming when no one knows he’s upset. It’s unrealistic and unfair to everyone including himself. Logically Tommy knows he should go to someone but the thought of anyone seeing him like this makes him want to crawl in a hole. Who would he even go to? He doesn’t know where Phil went and he thinks Wilbur already left for Schlatts house. Techno isn’t an option because he doesn’t do emotions.
With that, Tommy drags himself to his bed to get his longest friend, Henry. The little stuffed cow has been with him forever. Tommy grabs Henry and goes back to the corner. He holds Henry close to his chest and buries his head in Henry and cries more. He’d be getting fed up with the tears if it wasn’t a bit nice to just let it out. Tommy would rather be louder and with someone but the silence and Henry are good enough. Maybe he could go to Techno, maybe Techno would know what to do. No, the rejection on Techno’s face would break him in two. He’ll just have to tough it through.
Tommy feels weak and worthless but above all he feels lonely. He wants the people he’s come to think of as family. He wants Phil to make him hot chocolate. He wants Wilbur to play his newest song for him. He wants Techno to tell him about the books he’s reading. Tommy lets out a pathetic sob. It’s not very loud, but it cuts through the quiet room nonetheless. Tommy decides he doesn’t care anymore. Wilbur’s gone and he doesn’t know where Phil is, so that leaves Techno. He doesn’t care if Techno kicks him out, he’ll go search for Phil. Tommy stands on shaky legs, puts Henry on his bed and leaves the room.
Techno’s room is right next to his so he barely walks a few steps before standing at the olders room. Slowly Tommy gathers the courage to knock on the door as tears keep spilling. He knocks softly twice and curls his arms around his torso, a poor Imitation of Henry, of a hug. He hears a bed creak and footsteps get closer. He starts having doubts as the door opens. Techno looks the same as he did at dinner, pink hair in a ponytail, glasses with the stupid glasses chain, earrings and silly pajamas. Techno, upon looking at Tommy for more than two seconds, grew visibly concerned.
“Tommy? What’s wrong?” The older asked softly, concern and confusion dripping from his voice. Tommy just froze. He didn’t think he’d get this far. He thought that upon looking at the boy's tear stricken face Techno would shut the door. That seems so silly now. Tommy suddenly really doesn’t want to talk so he just looks down and shrugs. “Alright, do you want to come in?” Techno asks after a moment. Tommy nods and lets himself be led to the bed.
“Can I touch you?” Tommy nods before even thinking about it. He feels arms wrap around his body, gently pulling him into a strong chest. Oh. It’s a hug. Techno’s hugging him. Something in him comes loose and the flood is released. Sobs rack his body and he buries his head into his older brother's shoulder. Tommy wraps his own arms around Techno to clutch the back of his shirt. They started rocking side to side slowly. It’s really nice, and probably what he needed all along. Tommy never wants to let go. He wants this moment to never end. There’s something so cathartic about crying out all the emotions of the day. Something so peaceful about being held so lovingly in a moment of vulnerability. Somehow the pain and safety coexist seamlessly.
Eventually Techno’s words reach Tommy’s ears. Soft ”let it out”s, confident “I’m right here”s, gentle “remember to breathe”s. It helps a lot. Slowly his breathing steadys and the tears stop. Neither pull away, Techno runs his hand through Tommy’s blond hair, Tommy has a death grip on Techno’s shirt. It’s peaceful. It’s snowfall in the night. Neither willing to disturb the snow til the sun rises and the children come out to play.
“Tommy?” Techno quietly calls.
“Yeah?” Tommy croaks out.
“It’s okay to cry… it doesn’t make you weak,” Techno whispers into blond hair.
“…How did you know I thought that…?” Tommy wonders aloud into familiar arms.
“I used to think the same thing,” states the pink haired man.
“Oh,”
“You’re not alone. Never again,” says Techno.
“Can I stay here?” Tommy asks hesitantly.
“Always,” affirms Tommy’s older brother.
That’s how they stay until Techno’s younger brother falls asleep. Until their dad checks on them. Until both brothers are sleeping. Until the sun shines a new day on the new family.
That morning Phil places adoption papers on the table and asks Tommy to join the family. Of course he said yes. There was no shortage of tears from anyone that day.