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You’ve been having nightmares again.
You managed most of the nights, but stress of this week must have left your brain tired but restless at the same time.
Tonight, the nightmare is the worst it has ever been. Trapped in a long corridor, you try to find your way out, but each door you open leads you to the painfully familiar scene of yourself dying at the hands of Belphegor. You’re stuck in this vicious loop, door after door showing you the same horror from different angles.
A strangled cry escapes you, calling out for someone, anyone, to come and save you from this nightmare.
A loud crash startles you awake and you sit up in your bed. You’re disoriented and blinded for a brief moment as someone flicks the light on in your room.
A tall figure is standing in your doorway, one hand on the door that now hangs off the hinges slightly askew. You focus your eyes to see Satan breathing heavily, his hair and clothes a mess, staring at you with a mix of confusion and worry.
“MC?” he calls out gently.
Your body shakes, nightmare vision still fresh in your mind. Feeling suffocated by the weight of the blanket, you slide your feet on the floor as you sit up in your bed, hiding your face away from Satan. You’re ashamed you woke others up, but you’re glad to be awake.
“I’m so sorry Satan, I didn’t mean to shout. It’s just a bad dream” you say, rubbing your face with both hands to ground you in reality by feeling something.
The door gently clicks shut, and for a second you think Satan must have left the room. The silence is broken by the sound of soft but quick steps on the hard floor, and you feel your mattress dip under the weight of the demon.
“Want to talk about it? It must have been a hell of a nightmare for you to unconsciously invoke our pact.”
You jerk your head to the side, finally meeting the emerald gaze. Your face feels hot; an uneasy feeling sinking your stomach.
“I’m so, so sorry Satan. I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t” apology pours out of you and you can’t stop it. But Satan lifts his hand to gently stroke your arm.
“Hey, it’s okay, I believe you. Was it… Belphegor?”
You nod and look away, ashamed your fear took control not only of your dreams, but of your mind too.
Two soft fingers gently touch your chin and coax you to look up again.
“I could feel it. The emotions were so raw, so intense and real I thought I lost you again.” His gaze shifts from worry to sadness. His thumb keeps rubbing gentle circles on your arm, bringing some comfort. “You mustn’t feel shame or guilt for calling for help. In fact, you should do it more often, but maybe without giving me a heart attack” he gently smiles and you relax a little and return the smile.
Satan's eyes light up. A blush creeps to his cheeks, but he doesn’t look away.
“It’s selfish, and horrible that it’s all I think of given the circumstance, but I’m glad it was me you called for. It’s been bothering me, how easily everyone moved on. At first I thought it was my anger at how Lucifer handled the situation, but now I see it is my contempt for all of them. They got their brother back, but completely forgot about your sacrifice and how it happened.”
He shifts his hand to tuck a stray hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering a little longer at your cheek. He does so for his own benefit, to steady himself and not let his emotions consume him.
“I know you’re strong, and oh, so brilliant. I understand the desire to deal with this on your own, but just because you can it doesn’t mean you have to. Scars like that don’t heal easily, and my brothers’ ignorance is the opposite of helpful.”
The dread of the nightmare is slowly replaced by emotions you’ve been bottling up for weeks. You’ve tried telling yourself that everyone’s happiness was worth the darkness, and that you willingly chose this path, but a part of you wished someone would notice your suffering. You felt replaced, discarded.
“I’m not the one to stick my face into someone else's business, but I want you to know that you are not alone, and never will be. If you will me, brothers or not, I will be their constant reminder of the sacrifices you’ve made. Sacrifices you did not sign up for when you came to Devildom. With or without the pact I will be here, by your side, until the darkness tides over, should you wish me to stay.”
You lean forwards and nest your head under his chin, your hands wrapping his body. You only now realise how tense he is - he must be trying to contain his own emotions not to scare you when you need support the most. His hands envelop you in a tight embrace, the warmth of another body melting your worries away. His hands never stop gently stroking you as you let it all out. You don’t stop until you feel empty, emotionally spent and tired. Satan does not interrupt you, but he hugs you tighter when you mention how you felt abandoned and sad in the past week.
After a long pause, you hear Satan whispering just loud enough for you to hear.
“If you have me, I’ll be your protector. I’ll chase your nightmares away and be there for you to lean on when the world feels too much. I’ll carry your burdens no matter how hard they be if it means seeing you stand tall and soar in happiness. I’m bound to you, not by the power of the pact, but by emotions I feel for you. Your wish is my command. So tell me what to do.”
Your words stuck in your mouth at such eloquent proclamations of his feelings.
“Can you… stay the night?” you whisper, your cheeks burning.
Satan leans back to look at you, and for a moment you’re afraid of rejection. But he smiles like you’re the first warm ray of sunshine after a long, cold winter.
He kisses the top of your head and pulls the blanket aside. Your ache for the warmth of his body as he turns the light off and turns the bedside lamp on. Not wanting to make you feel trapped, he takes the spot next to the wall, giving you plenty of space should you need it.
You slide into his arms, facing him and touching his face gently.
“Do you mind if I keep the light on? It helps me fall asleep after a bad dream.”
His fingers stroke your hand, moving it so he can kiss the palm of it, as he breathes out “not at all”.
You move closer so your foreheads touch, absorbing the heat his body radiates. You feel invincible in his arms. Satan's hands move to gently rub your back, setting a rhythm that slowly drags you into slumber.
Before you let the sleepiness drag you under, your lips find his. His kiss is gentle and soft, him trying not to disturb your peace.
In that delirious state between the dream and being awake you hear him say: “I’ll stay by you tonight and always. You have my heart and my whole life, my love”.
It is the best night sleep you’ve had in a while.