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They were on the sex havers voice chat talking about something -Dream couldn’t really remember, they lost him a long time ago- when his phone rang. There weren’t that many people who had his phone number and not that many who called him at such an hour, so he wasn’t surprised to see George’s name. but he was surprised because the Brit had declined the offer to join them not even an hour ago because he was tired, which was fair. But now he was calling Dream, privately…. It made a man wonder.
“Just a second,” He told their friend in discord and immediately muted before they could say anything back. He then answered the phone with a smirk. “Hey Georgie, can’t fall asleep without me?”
“I hate you.”
The words gave him whiplash.
Now, considering Dream was just teasing the other, the reaction should have been normal, but the tone wasn’t. The way it sounded so serious and… pained ? It wasn’t normal at all .
“...What?”
George just groaned on the other end of the line. “You- you! You fucking idiot and your stupid tweets- You can’t just say things like- what the fuck is wrong with you!?”
Dream has never been more confused in his life. “I- wha- George? Did I do something wrong?”
“You- I- agh!” George sputtered on the other side and now Dream was actually worried. “You’re fucked up, you’re so fucked up, I literally hate you.”
“George, I don't understand.”
The line fell quiet, and the longer it lasted the faster dread grew inside Dream. At some point, he had to check to make sure the brunet hadn’t just hung up on him.
“...George?”
“Are you busy?”
“Um,” Dream looked back at his computer and the ongoing call but eventually decided that whatever the heck was going on with George right now was more important.
Goerge was always more important.
“Just a second,” He then unmuted himself long enough to say goodbye to his friends and an excuse in lines of ‘emergency’. He didn’t stay long enough to hear his friends ask if said ‘emergency’ was related to George and turned off the computer. They already knew anyway.
“Ok, I’m back.” He furrowed his brows in worry as the line was once again quiet. “...George?”
“I’m drunk.”
Dream’s eyes widened and his back strained on his chair, the declaration catching him off guard. “Wha- what?” Of all the things Dream expected the elder to say to him tonight, this wasn’t one of them.
George just sighed. “I'm drunk but I don't feel drunk and it's annoying.” And sure he sounded pretty annoyed, tired even.
Dream… didn’t know what to say. “...I thought you hated alcohol.”
“I do,” The Brit's tone was dry. “And now I remember why.”
Dream was now very worried. “What happened?”
"My brain was being loud.” George explained flatly. “It was fucking annoying and I needed it to shut the fuck up so I got drunk but it had the opposite effect."
That… didn’t really answer his question but it was ok, Dream could work with that. “Um, What do you mean?” He then got off his chair to lay down in his bed and get more comfortable, something told him this was going to be a long night.
"I wanted it to stop talking about you but now it's even louder and not only did I not forget, now it's even harder to ignore and it's driving me crazy."
Dream blinked in surprise, once again not expecting such words. “Me? You were thinking about me ?” George was truly full of surprises tonight, huh?
“I always do- fuck !”
Dream’s face split in two with how big he was smiling. (If he was also blushing no one had to know.) “Aww Gogy~” He must have looked like an idiot smiling at his phone. It wasn’t even a video call.
George groaned. "See? This is why I hate alcohol!"
Dream smirked and teased. “Because it makes you honest?”
“Because it makes me say things I shouldn't."
The blond merely rolled his eyes and placed the phone screen-down on his chest. “Being a bit nice from time to time isn't going to kill you, George."
"That's not the problem here, Dream." George deadpanned.
Dream blinked into the void. “...It’s not?”
"I don’t care about being sappy from time to time.” Dream could hear the hidden ‘ idiot’ in his tone. “My problem is letting out too much. "
Dream stared up at the ceiling and raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Too much about what?"
"Me, my feelings, things I'm pretty sure sober me wouldn't want you to know."
This time he raised both eyebrows. "Your feelings ?"
“...”
He frowned. “George, what do you mean?”
There was still no response for a while, until-
“...I shouldn't tell you.”
His brows furrowed more from the murmur. “Why not?”
“...”
The lack of a response pushed him to try a new approach. “We always tell each other everything, don't we?”
“Not everything.”
“Well, I do.” He declared proudly.
“Do you?”
The elder’s knowing tone made his heart stop and his mouth suddenly felt very dry.
This time he was the one who fell silent.
“We all have our secrets, Dream.”
Dream just threw his head back in his pillow and pressed his eyes together, annoyed. Sometimes he hated how right his friend could be. “Why did you call me then?”
“...What?”
“If you weren't going to tell me anything, if you didn't want me to know, then why did you call?”
“I’m drunk, Dream.” The elder reminded him flatly.
The blond just huffed in irritation. “So what do you want me to do then? Hang up?”
“No!”
The shout made Dream’s eyes fly open in shock.
“Just... stop me from doing something I might regret later.”
Dream could only sigh again. “But you already did that George.” He pointed out matter-of-factly. “You got yourself drunk and called me.”
“I don't regret calling you.” George sounded confused again; like he didn’t understand why Dream would even think that.
Dream was very confused too and he told the other man as such. “You’re confusing.”
“I’m drunk.”
Dream huffed in irritation. “That’s not a good enough excuse George.”
“I know,” George simply accepted. “I’m sorry.”
Dream didn’t know which surprised him more, the easy acceptance or the apology. He just shifted around in his bed, clenching and unclenching his hands, and didn’t say anything for a while.
“I like talking to you, Dream,” George clarified. “I like your voice.”
Dream’s heart fluttered in surprise, he wasn’t ready for affectionate George. “I like talking to you too,” He prayed George couldn’t hear how he was smiling like an idiot. “And your accent-”
“Stop-” George groaned again.
Dream pouted and objected. “You started it!”
“Yeah! but-” The brunet trailed off like he forgot where he was going with those words, he then apologized in a meek voice. “Sorry, I know I’m being very confusing and annoying right now.”
“You are,” He didn't bother sugar-coating it, he was legit getting whiplashes here.
He then sighed as the other let out a distressed noise because if he hated anything- more than being confused right now- it was hurting George. “But don’t apologize.”
After all, it wasn’t his fault his brain cells weren’t working right.
“Do you want me to hang up?”
Dream hated how quiet the elder had become. “No.”
“Ok.”
The one-word answer triggered Dream because what did it mean?! Was he mad? Sad? Did Dream hurt him? Should he apologize again? But he also knew, deep down, that he was just overthinking it. George wasn’t in the right mindset at the moment and probably just meant the word itself. Just a simple ok. Nothing more. just a simple agreement- Agh stop overthinking it! …But why the fuck did he sound like that?!
Dream felt like he might go insane… He really wasn’t ready for drunk George.
He suddenly realized George hadn’t said anything in a while.
Did he fall asleep?
“George?” He sought out the other’s attention and got a sleepy hum in response. He then wondered if he should just let him fall asleep. “Are you in bed?”
He couldn’t stop his brain from imagining it. A dazed George sprawled out on the bedsheets, in his large-sized Dream hoodie, dark hooded eyes, and flushed pink skin-
“No,” George snapped him out of his fantasies. “I’m sitting on the floor in the hallway, leaning against the wall.”
“Did you just call me because you like my voice?” He couldn’t help but ask.
"Yes and no."
Dream hummed, asking again but not really expecting an answer. “Are you going to tell me why you called then?”
George hesitated. "...I shouldn't"
"Why not?"
“I- I can’t.”
Dream hummed again, raising an eyebrow. “You can’t or you don’t want to?”
George just let out another wounded noise and not for the first time Dream wished he could see him. “I want to but I can’t .”
“Why not?”
"Because I’m drunk, Dream, and sober me would never do this."
Dream bit his lip. "Is that too much of a bad thing?"
“ Yes.”
The fast answer physically hurt him. "Why?"
“Because sober me has reasons for not wanting to tell you.”
"What reasons?" George didn’t answer him, and maybe that was a sign that he shouldn’t push any further but- “What are the reasons, George?”
“...I don't remember them.”
Dream blinked, and let out a confused chuckle. “Are you serious?”
George just huffed. “Why the fuck would I joke about this?”
Dream laughed again, “Ok, damn.” his remaining smile was teasing. “Now that’s more like the George I know.”
“An asshole?”
The vulnerable tone caught him off guard. “Wha- no, idiot! Just… with a bit more bite.” He then instantly cringed at his lame response.
George merely sighed. “You can call me an asshole, Dream, it’s fine.”
“I would never .” Dream brows furrowed. “You're one of the nicest people I know, George.”
“Don’t lie . ”
Deam was offended. “Have I ever lied to you?
“Yes , ” George said childishly. “You lie all the time.”
He snorted. “You’re such an idiot.” He then wondered if drunk George could pick up on the undertone affection in those words. He hoped not. “I meant for real. Serious matters.”
George didn’t say anything this time.
Dream’s lip curved into a soft little smile. “I've always meant everything I've told you, George.”
“...Everything?”
The hesitation made Dream soften even more if possible. “Of course.”
George still didn’t seem to believe him though.
Dream sighed. “Just because you're not always affectionate with words and a bit sassy at times it doesn't make you a jerk , George.”
George didn’t say anything so Dream kept going.
“You just have different ways of showing your love and that's fine.” He assured the other. “And I know that and respect that.” He then chuckled sheepishly. “Or try my best to." He closed his eyes with a smile. “I love you just the way you ar-”
“Stop.” The other cut in sharply. “Don- just- agh!”
His smile dropped. “...George?”
“You’re not helping.” He snapped at him. “I know you were trying to but you're not helping at all. ”
Dream was once again confused. “What did I say?”
George groaned loudly. “And you see that's the problem . You said nothing special, you were just being you .”
Dream could only blink.
“And I can't even be mad because you're just being a nice friend and I hate my fucking brain and heart for making me feel like this. Like what the fuck is wrong with me?”
Dream wanted to argue but George just kept rambling.
“And I'm so terrified because I’m not used to this. Thinking like this, feeling like this- any of this! And new things terrify me but I know I have no reason to be scared because you would never hurt me. At least not willingly-”
"Of course not-"
“But that's the problem! Because this is not about will and I’m going to end up hurt anyway and it's gonna suck! And I'm terrified of what it will do to you, to us .”
“...”
"And I love you and care about you more than anything and I-” He paused and took a deep breath. His next words felt like they were whispered right into Dream’s soul. “If I loved you less maybe I could talk about it more." Dream silently gasped and his heart dropped but George kept going, "But I don’t so I can’t. I can’t tell you. I can’t lose you, Dream." The pain in his voice was evident.
Dream was at a loss for words. He was overwhelmed, his mind a flurry of emotions because holy shit George just said he loved him. Like he actually said the thing. Dream’s mind felt like it was on overdrive.
"I just… can’t ."
Dream needed to get his act together.
"You won't lose me." He finally managed to tell the other.
George wasn’t convinced at all. "You don’t fucking know that."
"I do.” Dream insisted. “And I think you do too."
“...”
"We've been friends for 7 years, George.” He reminded the brunet stubbornly. “We went through so much shit together. Nothing you say can make me hate you or leave you behind." George still didn’t say anything. Dream was growing to hate his hesitant silences. "You know that, don't you?"
Finally the other sighed. "It doesn't stop me from being scared, apparently."
"Was that one of the reasons?” Dream asked, and maybe it was a dumb question. “For the sober you? Because you were scared of losing me?"
"I’m scared of a lot of things, Dream." George tried to deflect.
Dream frowned. "Are you scared right now?"
A pause, then a whisper, "Terrified."
Dream stared into the darkness of his room, pausing as well. “...But you still want to tell me." It wasn’t a question.
George answered him anyway.
"I do."
It was as if all air was punched out of Dream’s lungs.
"Do it then."
"...I really shouldn't"
Dream felt like they were running in circles, it was probably because the other was drunk. Drunk George was an enigma and although Dream was good at solving puzzles, he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out the other right now.
Or maybe he was just too afraid to hope.
“Why not?” He asked once again, refusing to give up just yet. "Because you're gonna regret it tomorrow?"
"I might."
"And what if you didn't?” He said recklessly. “What if the sudden boldness worked out in your favor?"
"That's... that's one of the reasons why I want to do it."
That piqued his interest. "Because your fears are less bold for once?"
"Call it liquid courage or whatever, but my drunk brain keeps telling me things aren't as scary or awful as sober me made it look like."
Dream secretly smiled. "Your drunk brain is probably right."
George didn’t seem to agree though.
Dream chewed his lower lip. "Was that also why you called me? Your drunk brain said it’s a good idea?"
"It said it’s not as bad."
Dream jumped on that. "And it wasn't, was it?"
George made a noise in his throat. "Well-"
Dream stopped him right there. "You said you don't regret calling me."
George scoffed. "That’s because I haven’t told you anything yet."
"You told me a lot of stuff George.” He objected. “Things sober you usually wouldn't. And they made me very happy."
The sudden silence was way too loud.
Dream fisted his bedsheets in his hand. "Do you regret them?" He was scared of the answer.
"...No."
He narrowed his eyes. "Because they made me happy or in general?"
"...Both."
His body instantly relaxed and he felt like he could breathe again. "See? Normal George would have never admitted that."
George let out an unhappy noise at his cheerful tone. "You're starting to sound annoying again."
Dream grinned. "Maybe the alcohol is rubbing off."
George huffed. "Oh shut the fuck up."
They both then started laughing. It kicked off with a snort from Dream which made George giggle, making Dream outright wheeze followed by George’s laughter which was so contagious that made Dream laugh even harder.
It took them a while to calm down as every time one of them stopped the other would snort for no reason and they would start laughing like idiots all over again.
But all good things had to come to an end, and eventually, the sound of their carefree laughter gave in to a newly formed silence. This one was a bit more comfortable but slightly tense nonetheless.
Dream missed the other’s laugh instantly.
“Dream?”
He hummed in question.
"I’m still very drunk."
He just hummed again, blinking lazily. “You should probably go to bed.”
For a second Dream could hear the sound of fabric rustling which told him George had tried to take his advice, only to abruptly stop, followed by a muffled thud. “I don’t think I’m able to move just yet.”
Dream raised an eyebrow. "How much did you have?"
George simply made an ‘I dunno’ noise. "I don't remember.” Then paused, only to follow with an apathetic. “There is an empty wine bottle next to me, so probably the whole thing."
"Jesus, George!” Dream barked out a shocked laugh. “Where did you even get the wine from?"
"I don’t remember. Probably had it in the back of the fridge somewhere."
Dream hummed in understanding, his lips twitching into an amused smirk. "You're gonna have one hell of a killer headache tomorrow."
George groaned. "Aghhhh, I hate it already."
Dream, like a true friend, just laughed at his misery. "You're such a baby"
George made an irritated noise at his mockery but didn’t fight back.
"...We're getting sidetracked."
"Sidetracked?” Dream asked, amused. “I never knew there was a track."
George huffed at that. "I was going to tell you something, remember?"
Of course, he did.
"Ok.” He simply agreed. “Then tell me."
“...”
"George?"
"I’m thinking"
Dream knew it was a serious matter but he couldn’t help and tease the other. "About me?"
"Yes."
He let out a surprised noise, not expecting the serious answer.
"What?" Geroge deadpanned.
Dream swallowed "N-nothing. Just... not used to the honesty yet."
Dream didn’t need to see the brunet to know he was rolling his eyes. "I’m drunk, remember?"
Dream huffed. "Well, you sound so serious and normal that I keep forgetting.”
George huffed back, mocking him. "Well, I am"
Dream squawked. "Well, you don't sound like it!"
"I don't feel like it either."
Dream blinked. "How come?"
"I just don't... feel.” George then paused. “Ok, that's not right. I do feel, like I feel scared right now and worried and kinda anxious. But my head and thoughts are just... they’re just so much louder than before that now I kinda can’t ignore them?” He sighed. “I don’t know."
"Like a truth serum?" Dream blurted out.
"...Huh?"
"Like a truth serum,” Dream explained. “Your instincts and everything are telling you not to do these things but your brain doesn't understand why . Why you shouldn't. So you just want to let it all out, not caring about the consequences even so you know they're there."
"...Yeah." George breathed out his agreement. “I guess you’re right.”
Dream swallowed hard. "Are you going to fight it?"
"I should ."
He held his breath. "...But?"
"I'm just so tired,"
"..."
"I’m tired of hiding my feelings, Dream, of pretending to not care. I’m tired of pretending that things are alright and that I’m ok when I’m clearly not. I’m tired of denial, of this sick game of pretend, of hiding behind walls because I’m afraid of getting hurt."
Dream frowned sadly. "...You sound like you’re already getting hurt, George."
"I am.” Goerge let out his deepest sigh yet. “ God I am, and I'm just so… tired of it."
Dream bit his lip in anticipation. "Are you going to come out then?"
"I think you'll break me,"
Dream’s heart dropped at the other’s whisper.
"And I think I'll let you."
A bit of strained silence passed.
He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "Then tell me, George."
"I’m in love with you, Dream."