Chapter Text
Xingqiu and Chongyun were what you would call ‘soulmates’, they were always meant to be. It’s like — if you moved to alternate universes, they’d still be friends. Perhaps in more ways than one.
oOoOo
Xingqiu sat on Qingyun Peak, Chongyun followed. A book in hand, Xingqiu rambled on to Chongyun about the chapter he had just finished, he could go on for days.
“And it’s quite interesting how they portrayed the characters' sadness— I mean, it felt like I was there—!”
“Xingqiu.” Chongyun abruptly interrupted, which sort of made Xingqiu just slightly annoyed, but not much.
“We need to talk,” He sighed as he turned to his best friend. Who turned to him too,
“I like you, Xingqiu.” He paused to wait for a response.
“Well, of course you do! We are best friends after—”
“As more than a friend.” He said, appearing calm and cool on the outside, but in fact his heart was beating faster than ever, he felt goosebumps riding up his shoulders.
Suddenly, Xingqius ‘perfect’ posture suddenly wasn’t perfect at all. His shoulders dropped and his back arched. He looked down at his lap, trying to think of a response that could lessen the hurt he knew his best friend would feel.
“I– I see. Erm,” He stammered. Chongyun could feel tears forming in his eyes as he tried to steer his gaze up to prevent the tears from strolling down his eyes.
“I’m sorry, dearest Chongyun.”
Those words broke him.
“You must understand where I’m coming from, I mean— You’re my best and dearest friend, and I feel as though it would be better for it to stay that way.” He tried his best not to make it sound harsh, but no matter how you say it, that last part will always sound harsh.
Silence filled the peak, you could practically hear the sound of Chongyun heart beating.
“I get it.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I just needed to be honest with you,” He looked away from Xingqiu’s direction, he was too much of a coward to face him.
They both sat silently and motionlessly, multiple attempts of conversations were started by Chongyun, but it never came out.
“I’m sorry, Chongyun.” He repeated. “Please don’t cry,” He tried to wrap his arm around his best friend, but Chongyun flinched. Xingqiu could hear his heart shatter, I mean– Flinching from your best friend's touch—?!
He pauses and stares blankly at Chongyun.
“Well, this is awkward.” Chongyun glances at his best friend, tears about to fall. He stands up and rubs his arm.
“I’ll head down first.” He bows to Xingqiu and turns away. “Wait–! Chongyun!” Xingqiu exclaims as he grabs a hold of Chongyuns wrist. “We’re still friends, right?” He said with concern in his voice.
He turns to face Xingqiu, tilting his head slightly before replying.
“Of course.” He smiles, there he goes again—smiling with his eyes— that stupid sweet and tender smile, Xingqiu thought, ah. There it goes again. That funny feeling. Ignore it, xingqiu—ignore it!
And just like that, he left. He left him all alone—all over again.
oOoOo
As Chongyun descended the mountain top, he could feel tears flow down his cheek.
‘How could I have been so stupid—! Confessing to my best friend abruptly like that.’ He stopped in his tracks to wipe away his tears, trying his best to hold them back as he stood back up, continuing down the steps of Qingyun peak. Suddenly, he broke down. He couldn’t control it, all his feelings came waving over him. He probably looked like an idiot, but he didn’t care. He just needed to cry, he needed to let all his emotions go.
In the end, his aunt, Shenhe saw, brought him to Mount Aocang, and ‘‘comforted’ him. (Though, her idea of comfort is different from his.)
“Chongyun, you're unfocused again. You must learn to control your yang energy, or you’ll never be a proper exorcist.”
“Yes, Auntie Shenhe. That's making me feel so much better.” He said, the sentence sprinkled with sarcasm. “Don't you dare sass me!” She said, her comment, too, tainted with sarcasm.
Chongyun looks down at his lap, thinking of what Xingqiu said. He sighed and continued to lick his popsicle, thinking of ways to mend they’re slightly cracked relationship without it hurting him.
oOoOo
Xingqiu sat silently at Qingyun peak, afraid that if he went down he'd see a crying Chongyun. At that state, he couldn't face him. “Why did I say that?” He questions himself. He stood up and started walking around the floating island, deep in thought. “Why did it have to happen to me? Of all people it had to be me. ” He bit his bottom lip.
“I mean, I guess it was sort of obvious.”
He thinks back to the many clues of Chongyun taking a liking to him, how vulnerable he'd be with him, how honest he'd be, how he would always be flushed at sleepovers, how caring and sweet he would be towards him. Now that he thinks really deep about it, it was awfully obvious. Was he just an idiot? Perhaps.
“Oh, my dearest Chongyun, if only you took a liking to somebody else, perhaps even Xiangling would do.” He sighed.
He thought of seeing Chongyun being romantically involved with Xiangling — he could feel his chest tighten ever so slightly. “No, Xiangling won't do.” He shook his head vigorously. He suddenly felt slight tears fall from his face as he knelt down to sit at the edge of the floating island, “I’m so sorry, my dearest Chongyun.”
He wiped away the tears as he sat deeply in thought.
‘Chongyun…
If love is as temperamental as they say it is, I don’t want to risk it.
Although I don’t feel the same way as you do, butterflies and all,
But once your feelings of romance fade, we’re able to go back to what we were.
That’s why I know we’ll be okay.’
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊
It’s been weeks since that incident, and everything seemed— well, alright. It’s not like a bomb exploded, but it sure felt like it to Chongyun.
“Xingqiu?” Said Chongyun as he popped into The Feiyun Commerce Guild headquarters.
“Hm?” Xingqiu swiftly replied with his head engrossed in another one of his mystery novels. “Let’s go eat dinner, Xiangling wants us to try her new recipe.” Xingqiu tilted his head, which made Chongyun’s ears flush. “Alright, I know a shortcut!” He confidently said as he set his book into his brown messenger bag.
“You better not get us killed..” He sighed as he gazed at his — ‘best friend’ with a sprinkle of love in his eyes.
“I won't!” Replied Xingqiu as he gave him one of his very iconic devious smiles. Which made Chongyun sigh.
They left the headquarters, chatting about their day. Even though they spent it together, it was still fascinating.
As they headed towards Wuwang hill, they heard a loud grunting sound coming from Xingqiu’s side.
“Xingqiu.”
“Yes, My dear Yun-Yun?”
“What’s that sound?”
“No idea.”
Suddenly a big brown figure ran past them, and stopped right in front of the two. Then another, and another. Except the last two were exceptionally small. The three figures turned to the two, the larger one’s eyes grew red.
“Xingqiu, I don’t think the boars are very fond of us.”
“Yeah.. Me either.”
oOoOo
As they finally sat timidly at Qing villages restaurant where they had promised to meet Xiangling, Xingqiu sank down into his seat.
“We made it..” Xingqiu said gloomily. “Barely.” Chongyun replied with the same energy. “To think your ‘shortcut’ led to a boar family..” Sighed Chongyun as he rubbed his cheek, he turned to Xingqiu whose face went pale. “Truly fearsome animals, boars.”
For a moment, they just stared at each other, suddenly they erupted in laughter. Chongyun laughs with his eyes fully closed, but Xingqiu’s eyes are slightly open. Xingqiu’s laugh slightly faded as he looked at Chongyun, his stomach felt as though it would explode, it felt like a fly was trapped inside his stomach. He felt a slight blush overcome his face.
A lady walks over to their table and she’s carrying a ceramic teapot,
“Your tea, sirs.” She says kindly as she pours the green tea into their cups.
Xingqiu glances over at Chongyun and he notices a scab on his cheek from the boars,
“Chongyun, there's a scab right there—” He reaches out to touch his cheek, but Chongyun flinches away and cleans it himself.
“Oh, thanks.”
‘Ah.
I almost did it again.’
Xingqiu steers his gaze to his cup, embarrassed and dejected. He takes a sip of his tea, it’s not as good as he’d normally have it. But who was he to decline it?
Silence seems to have filled the atmosphere, not a sound from anything. Well, there is tea sipping. Chongyun feels like his heart is going to explode.
“Hey, I need to tell you something.” He takes a deep breath before he turns to Xingqiu, who’s head tilts slightly.
“I’m going to stay with my Auntie Shenhe for a while, she’ll help me control my Yang Energy.” He says before taking a sip of his tea.
“Oh? For how long?”
“A couple of years.”
Xingqius' heart shattered once again. Years? He could barely live an hour without him–! (Well, that’s an overstatement, but still!)
“What—?!” He could feel his chest tighten. How could he drop such a bomb so calmly?!
“I’m leaving tomorrow, and– well, I won't be coming down for a while.” He sighed awkwardly. He could feel Xingqius stare.
Xingqiu felt as though his whole world just shattered. He could hear his heart beating in his ear, it felt like he could vomit his guts out.
“And you’re telling me this now?!” He felt betrayed, how could he leave so suddenly?!
“She’ll help me do what I’ve always wanted to do–!”
“Stop it–!”
“I wanted to start as soon as possible—”
“Stop lying!” Yelled Xingqiu loudly, which stunned Chongyun so much he decided to shut up. Xingqiu looked around the village to see everybody stopping what they’re doing to stare mildly at him and Chongyun. Filled with annoyance and dispirited, he barged down to the bridge, where he planned to live and hide for his entire life.
“Wait— Xingqiu!” Called out Chongyun, but there was no reply. So he quickly got up, apologised to the waitress and ran to catch up with his best friend.
As he finally caught up to Xingqiu, who just sat motionlessly and silently at the edge of the bridge, he could feel his chest start hurting, yet he chose to ignore it. “Xingqiu, please, listen.” He implored. “I just needed to—” but before he could finish, Xingqiu interrupted him. “Is it because I—” He cut himself off, not wanting that memory to rise up once again.
“I’m sorry, Chongyun. I know how important this is to you, and I was being selfish— It was a good decision, Yun.” He sighed as tears formed in his eyes. He turned to Chongyun, wanting to be strong. “Thank you, Xingqiu.” He smiled at him, appearing calm and collected.
“I’ll write to you?”
“And I’ll write back,”
That was the last they had seen each other, the other interactions were merely letters.
oOoOo
Xingqiu smiled as he opened the envelope that had been mailed to his home, the envelope was slightly discoloured and it seems to have been slightly damaged, but that's alright. It’s just good to know Chongyun received his last letter.
He opened the envelope to a neat discoloured hand written letter, slight water stains appeared throughout the paper. The letter read;
“To my dearest friend, Xingqiu.
I’m sorry I couldn’t write more often, training is getting more and more overwhelming.
I’m doing great, the adepti are nicer than they seem, but they’re really strict when it comes to training.
How are you? How's the guild? I heard your brother got married, that’s great for him!
I really miss you all, especially Xianglings cooking. These days I’ve been eating tofu a lot, it’s not the greatest. Who’s to think I’ll miss Xianglings extravagant spicy chilli sauce?
Haha, anyway, I need to go. I’ll write to you again, I promise.
Your dearest friend, Chongyun.”
Xingqiu smiled sweetly at the letter, he had missed him too. Although, the Xiangling part made his chest tighten. ‘What is this feeling?’ He thinks to himself.
“Ah, YunYun.” He smiled as he put the letter into his pocket.
‘Let’s just hope you’re still the same as before, my dearest YunYun.’