Chapter Text
Thing is, Sid’s always been somewhere beside Tony. Not always in plain sight, but if he’s not present then he’s never very far. Tony-and-Sidney, Sidney-and-Tony. It started like that, and some part of Tony was so sure that it would always be like that.
Sid, just to his left and a few inches behind. Never in step but always trying to be.
Tony always imagined that willingness to comply had been Sid’s main appeal. He’s easy to direct, and rarely fights Tony’s wishes. Even at ten years old, Tony would look just slightly down at Sid and tell him hey, you should take an extra snack for me or Sid, stay right here for me , and Sid would simply blink up at him and nod like he couldn’t imagine doing anything else.
Maybe that’s where Tony became a little obsessed with power, with control. Nothing felt as good as Sid’s blind faith, his absolute trust that Tony would know what to do if things went wrong.
At ten, Tony always seemed to. There wasn’t a problem in the world he couldn’t either solve or weasel his way out of.
At seventeen, things start to change.
–
Thing is, Sid’s not as stupid as everyone makes him out to be.
Sure, he’s shit at school work and even more shit at relationships. Even so, he’s more honest with himself than most others. He knows exactly what he is, knows he plays Tony’s lapdog and everyone else’s scapegoat. If that’s what it takes to get people to actually hang around him then fine, he’ll be the token idiot. He’ll take the exasperated looks and constant sighs. He’ll take Tony’s constant belittling and name-calling.
It’s ultimately better than being alone. It’s probably the best he’s going to get.
At least someone sees him.
Sid’s not stupid. He knows Michelle will never see him, because who could ever get a look past the goddamn billboard that is Tony’s ego? Michelle doesn’t want someone to be nice to her, and Sid can’t imagine playing the games that she and Tony play with each other’s feelings. After meeting in Year 11, they only leave each other’s sides long enough to bounce off someone else and immediately head back in the other’s direction like magnets.
It’s sort of nauseating, at first glance. Sid wonders if that’s what the rest of them think about him and Tony.
Except, the difference is that Sid never leaves Tony. He gets angry sometimes, and gets hurt even more often, but Tony usually just tells him to shut up and Sid clicks his teeth together without hesitation.
It’s a little embarrassing, but what else is he supposed to do? If he leaves Tony, there’s a chance of Tony not taking him back when Sid returns. Without Tony there’s no Michelle, no Chris, no Jal, no Maxxie or Anwar.
He has nothing to offer but obedience, not like lovely Michelle. He couldn’t flutter his eyes or demure, couldn’t drape a long bare leg over Tony’s lap and entice him back.
Sid isn’t handsome or charming, isn't worth looking at twice. Sid knows what he is.
What he’ll always be.
–
Thing is, dating Michelle wasn’t even his original intention. She was supposed to be a sort of gift for Sid, some faceless girl that Sid wouldn’t quit yapping about. It wasn’t until Tony saw Michelle that he thought, oh . And then, mine .
Tony’s spent so long stealing Sid’s toys that it doesn’t even occur to him to do anything else. If something can take up Sid’s attention, direct his eyes anywhere other than Tony, it must be worth trying for himself, right? So Tony tried Michelle, pretty and popular Michelle, and it turned out that not only was she a riot in bed but she also barely knew that Sid existed, which -
Yeah. He can work with that.
When he and Michelle start dating, it doesn’t surprise anyone. Sid sort of cocks his head when Tony brings Michelle to their lunch table and announces that she’s his girlfriend, that she’ll be hanging around with them. He doesn’t say anything, just flits his eyes between Tony and Michelle and then looks down at his tray of half-eaten food.
It doesn’t get touched for the rest of the period.
Tony can’t put a finger on why Sid’s reaction is so underwhelming. Maybe he wanted a reaction, a fight. He wants to draw some kind of emotion out of Sid, but instead of getting a response he gets a stone wall.
Yeah, Tone, I’ll turn in that paper for you. Nothing.
Sure, I’ll meet you guys there. Nothing.
See you tomorrow, then.
There’s nothing to work with. Nothing to bounce off of, to toy with. Sid is a blank slate for nearly two weeks until he finally loosens up, starts talking again at their shared tables and texting Tony about random bullshit.
Sid just accepts it, and Tony can’t even begin to pry apart why he hates that.
—
Thing is, Michelle knows the way Sid looks at her. She always has - they’ve been going to the same school since Year 4. One of her friends pointed it out in Year 5, and she’d seen him on the sidelines ever since.
Always looking out of the corner of his eye, always turned half towards her. He’s a bit cute, in a funny way, and he’s always leaning towards the closest classmate to ask fumbling questions on things he doesn’t understand.
He seems sweet. Michelle sort of likes that.
Even so, Michelle doesn’t pursue anyone as a rule. If Sid wasn’t going to grow the balls to approach her, then that was his business. She’d happily carry on being admired from afar, and if he ever wanted to broach the topic then they could do it when he was good and ready.
Eventually, Sid fades to the background over the years as Michelle goes on and off with guy after guy. Always testing the waters but never staying long.
She wasn’t expecting Tony Stonem. She doubts anyone ever was.
Things with Tony happened in a whirlwind, and it wasn’t until she was laying naked on his bed and catching her breath that she saw the framed picture of Tony and Sid, grinning like dorks with their arms linked, and thought that maybe she’d just gotten herself in over her head.
Because Tony is everything that Sid isn’t, and despite that (or because of it), that meant Sid was always right there. Watching Michelle, watching Tony, watching the way the two of them orbit each other.
Michelle ends up loving Tony, she really does. All his hard edges and his whip crack wit. The way his eyes barely seem to see you when he’s in his own world.
Michelle sees the way Tony pulls at Sid’s strings like a puppeteer, the way Sid dances without ever being asked twice. She wonders if Sid could ever be anybody’s but Tony’s.
–
It’s not that Sid’s angry. Michelle wouldn’t have wanted him in the first place, and it’s no surprise she actually did want Tony. Tony’s her type; tall and handsome and sort of a prick. It all makes sense. Sid’s not angry about that.
He’s confused, because Tony won’t stop fucking waving her around like a victory flag.
Yes, Michelle is beautiful and funny and deserves to be shown off. That’s not what Tony’s doing though - it takes Sid a second to realize it but Tony is rubbing it in.
He only notices because Tony, like everyone else, has patterns. Sid had always seen them as landmines, had taught himself early how to look out for the signs.
So Tony brings Michelle to their spot on the green and drags her into his lap to kiss her senseless for a while, as per usual. The only difference is that Tony is staring at Sid.
Lips prying Chelle’s apart, hands rounding her hips and thighs, and those hooded eyes are centered on fucking Sid.
It’s annoying, because Sid can’t imagine paying attention to anything other than a lapful of Michelle if he were so graced by the opportunity. It’s also strange, because there’s something about the way Tony quirks a brow and kisses her deeper without once breaking eye contact that makes Sid squirm in place.
Chris says something, and suddenly Tony’s eyes are closed and Sid is lurched back into the real world at top speeds, disoriented and horrifyingly half-hard.
Another time, Tony invites him over. Specifies that Sid has to be there at 7 o’clock sharp, or else. Sid’s not sure what the consequences are but he complies anyway, only to find Tony and - of course - Michelle so very naked in Tony’s room. Michelle’s exposed back is pale and soft-looking, and there’s something about Tony’s coarse hands bracketing the smooth expanse of her that has Sid reeling.
“Fucking hell, Tone. You couldn’t have just asked me to come later?”
Tony angles his head around Michelle, and ignores her embarrassed protests as he smirks at Sid. “Like you won’t be, already.” Michelle smacks his chest, and Tony drags her down into a kiss - at the new angle, Sid can see most of her ass is covered with a familiar handprint, and -
“We’ll meet you downstairs, yeah? It’ll just be a minute.”
Sid slams the door behind him and tries not to sink against the floor. Tries to understand what exactly is going on, because he’s just had Michelle’s gorgeous body on full display and for some reason all he can think about is where the two of them met. The way Tony’s mouth quirked as if he knew.
It’s not really that Sid wants Chelle for himself, cause that’s far too unrealistic a fantasy. The idea, though, of slipping beneath the covers beside them and lending a bit of a hand is even less realistic.
Doesn’t stop him from locking the bathroom door and stroking himself to the concept.
By the time Tony and Michelle come downstairs, Sid is cleaned up and sitting on the couch. He’s staring at a spot on the wall very intently, and Tony is staring at Sid like he can read his mind.
Sid wouldn’t put it past him. Tony runs the back of a finger across Sid’s jaw and then slides his hand into Sid’s hair. The tug shocks him, and Sid is barely able to muffle to potential noise, but Tony knows it’s there.
Tony always fucking knows.
–
Tony’s not entirely sure how they ended up here. He knows he’s sort of drunk, and Sid is just short of wasted. They’re on a bench a few miles from where they intended to end up, and the last bus route ended hours ago. It’s going to take them ages to get home, if Sid can even pull his shit together enough to manage the trip.
Tony doubts him. Tony always doubts him. Maybe that’s how they ended up arguing at two in the morning on a Saturday, Sid just gone enough to actually stand up for himself.
If there were anything interesting about the sight of Sid’s flushed cheeks and neck, about the way he stumbles over and slurs his words, Tony wouldn’t bother saying so. Who would he even tell? Chelle? Sid ?
Instead, Tony just snorts a laugh and cuffs Sid about the ear. He likes the way Sid winces and stumbles, the way he stares up at Tony - a few inches now, enough that Sid’s chin tilts up and he looks through his short lashes - and scowls. It’s cute, in an angry kitten kind of way.
“You’re such a fucking tosser, you know that? Do you give a shit about anything, Tony?”
“Sure, I do. Just not you.” Tony watches Sid’s expression halt, and then crumble. It’s rare that anything he says actually bothers Sid, so there’s some novelty to the amount of anger he’s drawing out. Still no response, but that’s unsurprising. “There’s hardly any point. It’s like giving a shit about litter, or climate change. It’s going to continue to be fucked up whether I care or not.”
Sid blinks. His mouth works, starting one word and then another without ever letting out a sound. Tony watches the thin line of his lips curl around one unspoken thing after another, and sees it when Sid finally gives up.
He thinks, like usual, that Sid is giving up the fight. It doesn’t take much for Sid’s tail to go between his legs, for him to tiptoe back to Tony’s side and wait for whatever cue that tells him that everything’s okay again.
Sidney grabs him by the shirt, hauls Tony down to his level, and Tony thinks, oh . And then, wait .
Sid is yelling.
“Tell me, Tone!” Sid’s beanie is sort of crooked, and most of his hair has shifted and is pinned to one side of his head. Tony can see the little dip in his chin, the way his eyes glint almost gold in the streetlight. “Tell me you love me. For fucking once, just - please.” Sid breathes in, breathes out. Tony can’t really tell if he’s breathing, himself. “I don’t care if you’re lying to me. I want you to tell me.”
Tony sways forward, and goes as far as feeling Sid’s heavy, alcoholic breath fan across his mouth, before swaying right back again. Sid seems to tilt with him, the resultant tide to Tony’s gravitational pull.
“I love,” Tony starts, and slides a hand into the lopsided bits of brown hair sticking out from beneath Sid’s beanie, “everything you are for me.”
It feels close enough to the truth. It feels close enough to what Sid wants. Instead of appeasing him, though, Sid just shoves at Tony’s chest until Tony finally releases the too-tight grip he’d had on Sid’s hair.
“Whatever, Tony. Just fuck off for once, alright?”
A few minutes pass before Sid has walked completely out of sight, and a few more minutes pass before Tony finally wipes a hand over his mouth like it will make him forget the warmth of Sidney’s breath.
He’s not entirely sure why he can still feel the phantom sensation. He’s not entirely sure why he didn’t just tell a lie to Sid to keep him happy.
He’s not entirely sure it would have been one.