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"Good night, dad."
Eddie opens his arms to give his son a hug while Chris gets up from where he's sitting and walks to him before going to bed. He wraps his arms around the boy and plants a kiss on his shoulder. "Night, bud."
"Give Buck a kiss for me." Chris says, smiling softly.
Eddie nods his head and smiles back, ruffling Chris' curls that look stupidly similar to Buck's. "I will. Sweet dreams."
He watches Chris leave the room and when he is left alone, he checks his watch to see it's getting pretty late. It's not that he's bone deep tired, today wasn't even that busy, but he would really rather be next to Buck than sit in this dimly lit room and stare at the walls while the quiet sounds coming from a TV show that Eddie doesn't even know what keep him company.
The urge to be with his boyfriend makes him ache even if they are literally in the same house right now, he just wants to see how he is, if he's doing any better or worse.
So, he calls it a night and turns off the TV and flickers the lights off, and makes his way to the bedroom.
Eddie quietly pushes the slightly ajar door and slides inside, the night lamp on Buck's nightstand being the only source of light in their otherwise pitch black room, the curtains pulled all the way.
As Eddie was expecting, Buck is sound asleep in their bed, buried deep under a blanket and lying on his stomach with one arm trapped between his chest and the mattress, and the other resting next to his face.
Buck has been feeling physically off for the past few weeks : feeling achy all over, complaining about that dull pain hurting his muscles and bones, that non-stop throbbing of his head and a nausea that won't go away; he has been sleeping more and getting cold more, eating less and having less energy in general, to the point of calling Bobby to ask for a day off just to spend the day in bed sleeping on an off. They don't know what it is— according to Buck it's just a cold; but whatever it is, Eddie wants it gone. He isn't strong enough to see the man he loves suffer and be able to do nothing to stop it.
Eddie can't see if the younger man is restful or not from where he is standing, the hood of Buck's sweatshirt pulled up to his head does a great job to hide his face and only show his curls sticking out from the front; so he closes the distance and climbs under the covers next to Buck, propping himself up on his elbow.
He wraps his fingers around Buck's wrist to feel the beat of his heart beneath his fingers just in case, it does beat a little fast but not too fast to make a scene over it, he lets those thumps ease the constant worry that made a home in his chest for the past days, even if it's only a tiny bit. He pushes the hood further back, revealing Buck's curls more, and runs his fingers through them as he watches the other man sleep.
Buck's face looks slack and somewhat restful which is good, steady huffs of air leaving his parted lips, and Eddie's heart clenches when he sees Buck visibly relaxing as he keeps combing his hair. Despite the pills he took before he went to bed, he still feels a little warm just like he did this morning, Eddie can feel the heat spreading through Buck's skin when he rests his hand on the younger man's forehead, but before he can pull away, Buck's eyes crack open, revealing his glassy blues.
"Hey." Eddie whispers with a smile on his lips, lowering his hand to cup Buck's face.
Buck slowly blinks, still half asleep, and folds his fingers around Eddie's wrist, letting out a sigh. "Wh' t'me is it?"
"Not too late. How are you feeling?"
Buck closes his eyes and presses his face into the pillow, his brows furrowed and voice hoarse. "My head h'rts."
Eddie leans forward to press his lips on the top of Buck's head, wishing it would bring some comfort. He remembers Buck hasn't eaten a tad bit throughout the day, so he takes his chance.
"Are you hungry?" He asks, his eyes locked on Buck's sleepy form. "Want me to make you a sandwich?"
But Buck shakes his head in restrained motions. "Not hungry."
"Babe, you haven't eaten anything." Eddie protests, keeping his voice low and gentle.
Buck makes a distressed sound from the back of his throat. "Not hungry."
Okay.
Eddie doesn't have any other option but to let out a defeated sigh and nod his head. "Okay."
He slides down the mattress and lies on his back, and Buck scoots closer to press himself against Eddie's side, Eddie slipping his arm under Buck and pulling him close, his hand resting on the other man's back. Buck drapes his arm over Eddie's torso and rests his head on the pillow next to the older man's face and just like that, he is back to sleeping.
It causes a fuzzy feeling to grow in Eddie's stomach, spreading everywhere and warming him up; despite his resistance, the grounding weight of Buck's form and his steady breaths tickling his neck pull him back from the concerned thoughts occupying mind and lull him to sleep.
Before Eddie even opens his eyes and comes to himself, he feels something— some one , shifting next to him, moving himself closer and closer. He feels trembling fingers clutching onto the fabric of his shirt and digging his arm, holding him tight , but it's not a good tight, it's a pained one. He feels the weight on himself getting heavier as the person— wait, it's Buck; as Buck presses his forehead to his shoulder and just…sags into his chest.
On a normal day, Eddie would wrap his arms around the man and keep sleeping, but right now something tells him to open his eyes.
But the second he does, he gets this crushing sense of worry creeping up his bones and jolting his half asleep brain.
Buck isn't clinging onto him to get in a more comfortable position, no, he is clinging onto him because he is in pain .
"Buck?" Eddie croaks out, eyes slowly focusing on the man lying on top of him. "You okay?"
Buck chokes out a shaky whimper and grasps Eddie's shoulder tighter, faint trembles running through his tired form. With his eyes snapped shut and face twisted, he looks worse than this morning.
He looks like he's hurting.
Buck clenches his jaw to silence himself but a muffled yelp tears his throat anyway. He can't even form a sentence let alone support his own weight, his body squirms in agony as he tries to move but fails; his chest moves up and down with each shallow breath and he buries his face into the crook of Eddie's neck, his warm skin touching Eddie's.
Something is definitely wrong.
Something is definitely wrong, and Eddie needs to know what.
Eddie straightens himself up on the bed a little to see his boyfriend clearly, his one hand on Buck's back and other on his bicep. "Buck, what's going on?"
Buck only manages a weak mumble, hot breath tickling Eddie's neck. "Hurts."
Fuck, okay.
Eddie has to stay calm.
He gives Buck's arm a gentle squeeze to get his attention. "What hurts?"
Buck doesn't answer; instead, he chokes out a shaky mewl and his face twists further down.
Eddie brings his hand to cup Buck's face and tilts his head. "Evan, you gotta talk to me, baby." He loosens his hold around Buck and tries to meet his eyes. "Where does it hurt?"
"I— I don't know. Everywhere."
That's it. They need to go to a hospital.
Now.
Suddenly all the sleep Eddie had has vanished. Gone. He is wide awake now.
"Okay." Eddie says in a stressed voice, disentangling himself from Buck. "I'm taking you to a hospital."
It doesn't take much time for them to reach the car, Eddie puts on a jacket and helps Buck get on his feet after he wakes Chris up and tells him that he and Buck needs to go to a hospital; Chris insists on going with them but he has school tomorrow, so Eddie calls Tia Pepa to ask her to come over and stay with Chris.
After Eddie makes sure Chris is safe and Tia is on her way, he wraps his arm around Buck and supports him as they make it to the car.
Thankfully, the roads are pretty empty but they get stuck on almost every other red light, so it doesn't make much of a difference.
He is waiting for the light to go green when he shoots a quick glance at Buck to see how he is and notices the faint chills coursing through his form.
The younger man looks even worse now, his skin visibly ghost pale even in the dark and wrinkles on his forehead, eyes glassy and jaw clenched to hide his pain.
"Are you cold?" Eddie asks quietly, but the tone of his voice does a terrible job at hiding the worry rising up his throat.
Buck manages a shrug but the way he curls into himself says it all.
With a quiet, stressed sigh leaving his lips, Eddie takes off his jacket and drapes it over Buck, and his heart breaks in half when Buck grasps the fabric and pulls it closer to himself, letting out a whimper.
"We're almost there." Eddie says, instinctively lifting his hand to brush Buck's hair back from his forehead.
The lights turn green, and Eddie keeps riding while trying to tame his slowly dying patience until they reach the hospital, his grip around the wheel white-knucled.
Once Eddie parks the car, he and Buck get inside the emergency room, Buck leaning heavily against him; he helps Buck sit on the gurney while a doctor comes in and gives Buck a quick check up.
He hates being in a hospital as much as Buck does if not more, but still Eddie would rather it was him who is suffering instead of Buck because the look on the younger man's face screams 'I am hurting', and all Eddie can do is to hold his hand and watch as the doctor does her job but ends up hurting Buck more as a result. The doctor— Rebecca, according to what Eddie reads from her badge, flashes the penlight before Buck's eyes, Buck winces as his eyes fall close and he twists his head in an attempt to get away from the source.
She checks his fever— a little high, his pulse and blood pressure, then his muscles for any possible internal injury, but with every touch landing on his skin, Buck gets distressed and writhes.
"How long has this been going on?" She asks, eyes still on Buck.
Buck runs a shaky hand down his face and lets out a sharp breath, he sounds tired. "I don't know, a few weeks."
"At first we thought it was just a cold but he kept getting worse." Eddie interrupts, the words taste bitter in his mouth as he recalls the previous days.
Rebecca gives them a nod of acknowledgement and listens to Buck while he explains his symptoms.
"We're gonna need to draw some blood and check your values to rule out some possibilities." She explains.For some reason the way she carries herself gives Eddie the reassurement he needs, but it looks like they will be here for a while.
"When— uh— when can we get the results?" Buck croaks out. He still has Eddie's coat draped over his shoulders and he manages to look extremely small under the fabric, almost curled into himself and slightly shivering.
"In a few hours." She says. "You can wait and rest here in the meantime."
It's not like they have any other option, so all Eddie can do is to let out a sigh and watch the doctor leave.
He twists his head and sees Buck chewing the inside of his cheeks, brows knitted and eyes teary; the lump in his throat gets heavier at the miserable sight of his boyfriend, he lifts his hand to place it on the nape of Buck's neck and lightly scratches the warm skin as he plants a tiny kiss on top of his head.
Nurse comes in pretty quickly after Rebecca leaves and draws Buck's blood, and finally leaves the two of them alone.
"How are you feeling?"
Buck blinks sluggishly and drops his head. " 'm tired."
Eddie sits on the bed next to Buck and rests his back against the pillow, then gently tugs Buck towards himself. "Come here."
Eddie opens his arms to catch Buck as he collapses on Eddie's chest with an ease, he turns onto his side and nuzzles his nose into the hollow of Eddie's throat, and closes his eyes.
Buck's breaths even out after some time, and it's the only proof of him finally falling asleep despite the distraught look on his face even when he was supposed to be relaxing. Eddie wants to pepper him with kisses until his face slackens and he sags into Eddie more but he knows it would only wake Buck up, so he swallows down the urge and settles on running his fingers up and down along his boyfriend's arm as they wait for the results to come out, praying to the universe that nothing bad will happen.
A few hours pass with Eddie occasionally texting Tia Pepa and Bobby to let him know what's going on, and keeping his one eye on Buck in case he wakes up and needs something, he brushes his lips on the blond's forehead to feel his temperature and buries his nose into his curls to breathe him in, Buck manages to stay asleep for the most time, basically boneless under Eddie's embrace, until he slowly stirs awake.
Buck's eyes open after a few sluggish blink and his face screws bitterly as he swallows down his whimper.
That's all it takes for Eddie's focus to shift on Buck. He loosens his hold and tilts his head to see the other man, his protective instincts firing up like a flip of a switch. "What's wrong?"
Buck's arms brace his stomach, clenching his jaw and wincing as he swallows what Eddie assumes the bile rising up his throat.
"Nauseous." Buck manages to say, taking a long breath through his nose.
"Do you need a bucket?" On alert, Eddie straightens himself up more and reaches for the button to call a nurse but Buck stops him by wrapping his fingers around his wrist. When Eddie's head twists to his side, Buck shakes his head.
Buck props himself up on the gurney and takes in another deep breath and exhales, followed by another one, and then runs a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm okay."
He looks like a train ran him over, Eddie hates it.
Eddie opens his mouth to say something but before the words come out, Rebecca's voice interrupts him and catches their attention.
"Mr. Buckley, your results are in."
She looks tense, Eddie wonders why.
Buck clears his throat, brows slightly arched and eyes curious. "And? Is everything okay?"
"You mentioned you have been feeling unwell for the last few weeks, is that right?" She sits on the edge of the bed, and the kindness oozing from her voice irritates Eddie for some reason.
Buck's face falls in a confused frown, licking his chapped lips. "Yeah, why?" Is— Is something wrong?"
Rebecca looks down at the paper in her hands, then at Buck after shooting a quick glance at Eddie. "We haven't found any sign of infection in your blood, but your blood values are abnormally high."
"Uh— w-what does that mean?" Buck hesitates.
Eddie doesn't like where this is going.
"There isn't a sign of infection, but your white blood cell count is too high, which in some cases can also be a sign of other illnesses." Rebecca's voice is extremely calm and the way she talks is slow , like a doctor getting ready to give the bad news. "You've mentioned you have cancer in your family health history—"
The bitter chuckle Buck chokes out sends shivers down Eddie's spine. "That— that doesn't mean anything."
"It doesn't." She nods her head. "It may be something completely different, but if it is , then early diagnosis can help a long way."
His hand finds Buck's long before Eddie can comprehend what the doctor is saying, if she's actually talking about the nightmare Eddie doesn't even dare to cross his mind.
Because if she does, then Eddie isn't prepared for that.
Buck's hand feels ice cold and shaky, but his isn't any different, either.
"Maybe it's some rare infection or something else." Eddie protests, his voice oddly calm despite his racing heart. "How can you be so sure?"
It has to be something else.
Rebecca shakes her head. "We are not sure, we just want to rule out the possibility since Mr. Buckley may be at higher risk considering his family history."
The more she talks, the more the walls feel like they are coming closer.
"So— uhm—" Buck's hoarse voice wavers, his already pale face now white as a sheet. "W-What are you saying?"
"I would like to order a biopsy. That way we can know for sure if it's cancer or not."
"And if it's not?" Eddie asks, because he really doesn't want to think of the other possibility.
"Then we'll have to do more tests to find out what's wrong." The doctor answers, then turns her head to Buck. "My assistants will help you get ready in a moment and like I said—" Her face softens. "— it's just to be sure, nothing more."
She gives the two of them a sincere, soft smile and leaves the emergency room.
Okay, okay, she is right.
It's just a simple procedure. Nothing will go wrong.
But if it is that simple, then why does Eddie's heart beat so fast to the point of giving out and his throat feel like it is closing up? His limbs tingle as if millions of tiny spiders are crawling along his skin, and the thin screech kicking his ears only pushes him towards the edge more.
What if it's cancer? What then?
No, he has to calm down.
Not only for himself, but for Buck as well.
Nothing will go wrong, it's just a simple procedure— in and out, that's it. It's all gonna be okay, it has to, it has t—
Buck's weak voice pulls him out of his mind and owns his attention.
"Can we go home?" God, he sounds so small.
Eddie frowns in confusion. "What?"
"Can we go home?" Buck repeats and shakes his head, his baby blues starting to glisten with tears. "I— I don't— I don't want to do it."
Oh, fuck.
If Eddie's heart was breaking before, he's pretty sure he is dead now.
"Baby." Eddie brings his hand to cup his boyfriend's face and leans in, face inches away from Buck's. "It's just a simple procedure. Nothing will go wrong."
Maybe if he says it out loud then it will become true.
But Buck chews his lips and lets out a sharp, wet breath, still refusing. He wraps his fingers around Eddie's wrist and lowers it on the mattress, eyes "I don't want to do it— I don't. What if it's cancer?"
"Buck—"
"Eddie—" Buck's voice trembles and he barely keeps himself from breaking into sobs. "Let's just go home, please. I'm fine, I swear."
Eddie desperately wants to believe Buck, he wants to grab his arm and just storm off and go home, but the younger man looks so fragile and in pain, Eddie can't do that. He can't.
He'll never forgive himself if he does.
So he lifts both his hands and takes Buck's face between them, looking straight into those blues that melt his heart. "Buck, listen to me, nothing bad will happen, okay? I promise."
"You don't know that." The other man whispers, his breath hitches in his throat.
Eddie doesn't let go. "I promise . I won't let anything happen to you."
Buck stares at him with his broken eyes, and the insane ache in Eddie to keep him close wins.
He folds his arms around the man and pulls him towards himself, keeping his one hand on the back of Buck's head and one on his back as he envelopes Buck's shaking form with his own, letting Buck hide his face in his neck, his feverish skin touching Eddie's.
Buck lets himself be pulled close, too tired to resist, he only grasps the hem of Eddie's shirt and lets Eddie keep him together until his ragged breathing returns to normal and his shakes subside.
After some time, the nurse comes in and prepares Buck for the biopsy.
The procedure doesn't take too long but it still makes Buck and Eddie nervous even though Eddie tries his best to not show it; he will never get used to seeing Buck in a hospital gown, he already knows that, but seeing his boyfriend's form literally tremble as he lies on that gurney and surrenders to the doctors turns out to be a whole nother story.
The one that Eddie never, ever wants to experience again.
"When can we get the results?" Eddie asks Rebecca quietly.
They are no longer in the emergency room but in a single hospital room now because not only Buck needs to lie comfortably and rest, but also there is a good chance that they will be here for some time until the doctors figure out what's wrong.
He's sitting on the chair next to Buck's bed, keeping his one eye on his boyfriend while listening to Rebecca. His fingers loosely locked with the younger man's, who can barely keep his eyes open anymore from all the exhaustion and discomfort; they hooked him up on some painkillers and fever reducers to ease his pain but Eddie doubts it's working.
"Tomorrow morning." She answers. "But until then we will do some more tests, see if we missed anything."
So, they are spending the night.
Eddie lets out a long sigh and runs a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. He's fucking tired.
He just wants to go home with Buck, wants everything to be okay. That's all he wants.
Instead, he nods his head and leans against his chair.
"You can press the button if you need anything."
Buck gives a slow nod without looking at her.
"Thanks." A faint smile curves up Eddie's lips.
He appreciates the doctor's efforts, he really does, but nothing feels enough right now.
Rebecca leaves the room, and Eddie keeps watching the steady rise and fall of Buck's chest to ease his own racing mind. He leans forward and runs his fingers through Buck's disheveled curls, then lowers his hand to caress his warm face, thumb stroking back and forth over Buck's cheekbone. Buck's eyelids fall close all the way as Eddie keeps his touches soft, his tense form slackens and he sags into the bed deeper; Eddie brushes his lips on the top of the younger man's head and closes his eyes as he plants a gentle kiss.
They have a long night full of unknowns waiting for them.
Eddie is seconds away from falling asleep when a nurse comes in in the middle of the night to draw some blood and check his vitals.
A few hours has passed since the procedure and Buck is still sleeping— or was, because the second the nurse comes in, he wakes Buck up.
Eddie takes a deep breath and clenches his jaw.
"Sorry to wake you up." The nurse says with an apologetic face, he looks like he really means it.
Buck slowly straightens himself up a little with a sigh, and presses his fingers on his eyelids. He looks so sleepy and a little disoriented, Eddie would kiss him all over if the nurse wasn't here.
Buck's voice is rough when he answers: "No, it's okay."
"Why are you drawing so much blood?" Eddie asks before he stops himself. He is familiar with all the hospital stuff by now, but the nurses have been taking tubes of blood since they first got here and he doesn't get that.
"We want to consider every fitting disease while biopsy results come out, sometimes we have to order specific blood tests to do the diagnosis." He explains while filling the tube with dark red and covering its top. "I'm sorry. I know it's not a fun experience." He grimaces.
A tired smile curves up Buck's lips, whispering: "Yeah, not really."
"Your temperature is a little higher than normal but other than that your vitals look good. I'll make sure to renew your IV bag."
At his words, Eddie's hand lifts up to rest on Buck's forehead. He doesn't feel warmer than he did a few hours back which is good— or at least that's how Eddie says to comfort himself, but still Eddie's heart flips when Buck's eyes flutter at the touch and he slightly leans into it.
"Okay, that's about it for now." The nurse smiles. "Get some rest Mr. Buckley."
After he leaves, Eddie draws his chair closer and rests his hand on Buck's thigh, lightly caressing over the blankets.
"Hi." He says quietly with a smile.
Buck's eyes land on him, the groggy look on his face slowly drifting away as he fully comes to himself. "Hi."
"How are you feeling?"
"Uh— I don't know." Buck hesitates, shrugging. "Tired. Achy."
Not that Eddie was expecting a different answer, but still hearing that from Buck makes it ten times worse.
He checks his watch to see what time it is— it's close to 3 am, then the quiet rumbling of his stomach reminds him he probably should eat something.
But more importantly now that he's awake, Buck definitely should eat something.
"I'm gonna go get us a sandwich from the cafeteria." Eddie nods towards the door. "Do you want anything else?"
Buck shakes his head. "I don't feel like eating."
Yeah, no, Eddie's not buying that.
"When was the last time you ate?" Eddie arches his brows.
Buck digs his teeth to his lips and runs his gaze.
"Yeah, exactly." Eddie deadpans. "You're eating."
He gets on his feet and grabs his wallet from his jacket but before he leaves, he sits on the edge of the bed and lifts Buck's head by the chin, his expression softening when he sees Buck baby blues looking at him so vulnerable. "Hey." Eddie whispers. "I love you."
For the first time in hours, Buck's smile is warm when his lips twist up, he still has that shy look crossing his face whenever Eddie tells him he loves him, and for a split second everything feels okay.
"I love you, too." Buck whispers back.
Eddie gives him a quick peck on the lips, and goes to the cafeteria.
The remainder of the night passes quickly afterwards, Buck slowly nibbles on his food while Eddie finishes it in almost one bite— it's like the roles are reversed but he will take anything as long as it means Buck is putting something in his stomach. They chat about nonsense after they are done, neither of them talks about the elephant in the room and Eddie is aware even if he were to bring himself to speak on it, Buck would avoid it like a plague. So he doesn't bother because maybe it's better like this, he doesn't want to spend this time spiraling over a possibility.
But when Buck finally falls asleep, he does spiral over it.
In silence.
It all dawns on him when Eddie watches the sun slowly rise and fill the room with its orange hue, letting him know that it will be morning in only a few hours.
He doesn't want that to happen.
Because morning means the test results will come out, and he doesn't want that to happen, either.
Eddie doesn't want to know.
He wants to be stuck in this very moment where Buck is finally sleeping peacefully and the world is dead and everything is still other than the steady rise and fall of his boyfriend's chest that he has his eyes locked on.
He doesn't want to know what the morning will bring, because it can be something straight from hell.
But the world keeps spinning, and sooner or later it becomes morning.
He is sitting on the edge of the mattress next to Buck when the sound of Rebecca's heels echoe in the hallway. The visiting hours must have started, and that means she can come in any minute now.
Despite looking tired and pale as fuck, Buck is wide awake and completely silent, but Eddie can see how anxious he is by the way he is playing with his wristband and chewing the insides of his cheeks at the same time.
Eddie stays silent, too. It's like his brain has stopped working and is giving blue screen, and the thin static screech kicking his eardrums makes it hard to stay calm. His heart beats in a way that makes him sick, so how the hell is he able to calm his boyfriend when he himself is feeling like this?
Instead, his hand finds Buck's and grasps tightly.
"Good morning." Rebecca greets them as she comes in with a chart in her hand. The look on her face is calm and even somewhat relaxed but then again, Eddie can't think clearly at this point. Maybe he's dreaming.
But then, she smiles .
"I have some good news." She looks at Eddie, then at Buck, her eyes shiny. "Your results came back negative. You don't have cancer."
It's like coming back from the dead. Like an elephant being lifted off his chest. Eddie feels like he can breathe again.
Buck doesn't have cancer.
Thank god.
"Oh, thank god." Eddie breathes out and twists his head to see Buck closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath.
Thank fucking god.
"It's a good thing we did many blood tests, because we found a rare type of bacteria in your blood." Rebecca continues to explain, and now that the screech in his ears has faded, Eddie can hear her clearly. "It's a rare bacterial infection and we probably wouldn't be able to diagnose it if we didn't run this test specifically, but with a mixture of antibiotics, you should be just fine."
"Th-that's it?" Buck stammers. "Just some pills and I'm gonna be fine?"
Eddie can feel him shaking under his touch, and the younger man looks like he's visibly struggling; Eddie can't wait for Rebecca to leave so he can wrap his arms around the man.
"Yep. Just some pills." Rebecca nods. "The nurses will give you your meds after I'm done with my visitation and if everything looks good, you can get discharged tomorrow morning."
Everything she says is like music to Eddie's ears.
Buck will be fine. It's just some stupid infection. They will leave the hospital tomorrow .
He is pretty sure he is grinning like an idiot, but he can't help it.
"Thank you, doctor." Eddie says and he means every word.
"Of course, it's my job." She says, smiling, and leaves the room.
Now that they are alone, Eddie scoots closer and puts their intertwined hands on his lap. "Did you hear that? We're going home."
But Buck still looks off, stunned. His eyes ever so slowly meet Eddie's and he croaks out: "I don't have cancer?"
God, everything about him feels so fragile.
"No." Eddie shakes his head, his voice happy but gentle. "You're going to be just fine."
Buck keeps staring at him without saying anything, visibly trying to soak in the news, and he chokes out a bitter scoff that makes Eddie's blood run cold.
His baby blues slowly starts to glisten with tears, his lips quivering, his face screws as his shoulders begin to shake and a whimper tries to come out but Buck immediately drops his head and hides his face in his hands even though it does nothing to stop that ugly cry tearing his throat.
That's all it takes for Eddie's heart to shatter into millions of pieces.
"Hey, hey, hey." Eddie's eyes widen in shock and wraps his arms around Buck and pulls him straight into his chest. "Hey, no, come here, come here."
His arms envelop Buck tightly, he places his hand on the back of his boyfriend's head to bury his face into the crook of his neck while keeping his one hand solid on his back, pressing firmly and trying to ground the shaking man in his arms. "Hey, you're okay." Eddie rests his temple against Buck's head and closes his eyes. "You're okay, baby."
Buck only chokes out another sob and his arms fold around Eddie, digging the tip of his fingers and clutching the fabric of his shirt so tight, his violent cries and fast breaths leave him unable to speak.
"Thank god, you're okay." Eddie breathes out because Buck wasn't okay, they didn't know if he was going to be okay so he repeats those words until Buck and himself both realize that it's true.
He buries his nose into the part where Buck's shoulder meets his neck and breathes him in, lets Buck's warm skin ground him.
Buck's whole form trembles with each cry, he holds onto Eddie like he's his lifeline and hides himself in Eddie's arms and cries and cries until his cries turn into hiccups and they turn into ragged, hitchy breaths.
Even after some time he stops crying, Eddie doesn't let go; he holds Buck close just because.
He lets go after what it feels like a lifetime, only to wipe the dampness on Buck's cheeks with his thumb and to brush his disheveled curls away from his forehead.
"Sorry." Buck mumbles with a breathy chuckle. He presses the heels of his palm to his eyes and sniffles. "I'm such a mess."
"No." His voice sharp, Eddie takes Buck's face between his hands, leaning forward. "Don't ever say that, okay? You're my everything."
Buck's baby blues glisten again as he stares at Eddie, he manages a tiny nod without breaking eye contact and holds Eddie's wrist, voice in a wet whisper. "Okay."
The rest of the day goes by quickly with Eddie texting Chris, Tia Pepa and their friends to update them about the currents; Chris and Tia Pepa come to visit after Chris' school and spend some time with them, then the 118 comes in after their shift, followed by Maddie and Jee.
After everyone leaves, Eddie climbs on the bed next to Buck and plasters himself to the man as gently as he can to not cause any discomfort. It's a small bed for two men with their size but Eddie doesn't give a shit, he even likes it more because that way he can feel Buck all around. They sleep with their fingers intertwined and it's the best sleep Eddie has had in days.
The next morning, Rebecca gives them the okay and Eddie signs the discharge papers before getting the prescription for Buck's meds.
"Ready to go?" Eddie asks, the fondest look painting his face.
A warm smile tugs at Buck's lips and his eyes crinkle in a way that sends Eddie to heaven, he lets out a short sigh and nods. "Yeah, let's go."
So they go home.
Together.