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“Rae. Wake up already.”
I felt dainty hands gently shaking my shoulder. When I opened my eyes slowly, I saw a familiar beautiful face. It was Misha, of course, my best friend. We were in our room in the Royal Academy dormitory.
“Really, it was hard waking you up every morning.”
Her husky voice tickled my ear. Misha’s long straight hair swayed as she rose up and started walking to the dresser table, sending a gentle breeze towards me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A sweet fragrance filled my nostrils, enveloping me in its enticing aroma. Really, how could she smell so nice right after waking up.
“Don’t you dare sleep again, Rae. We are going to be late.”
Even her stern voice was pleasant to the ears. I rolled to my side, hugging my knees. But no, of course I was not going back to sleep. After all, I knew one of my favorite things in the morning was about to happen. I watched Misha closely as she started undressing.
A ray of sunlight shone through the window, illuminating Misha’s pure snowy skin. Without any clothes to obstruct, I could see every inch of her body almost glowing, reflecting some of the sunlight, as if challenging the sun’s radiance.
Before you judged me, no, I was not a pervert. Misha was just simply too beautiful, I couldn’t help but gawk at her. Yep, I was totally not at fault here.
“I am going ahead, Rae.”
“Ah, no, wait for me~”
While I was in trance, Misha’s already done changing from her pajama to Royal Academy uniform. I hurriedly started changing as well. She said that, but she waited for me after all. My best friend is simply the best. We then walked together towards our class.
“Sigh, every morning is the same. You woke up only after I had dressed up, then I needed to wait for you. Why can’t you just wake up earlier, Rae?”
“Hm? I woke up late on purpose, you know.”
“ Huh? ”
“No, sorry, that was just a slip of tongue!”
Misha growled at me. How cute.
I walked really close to Misha, our shoulders basically brushed against each other. She didn’t seem to mind it. Hehe.
Yes, right now I was completely infatuated with my best friend, Misha. This was the first time I tried something different after God knows how many loops in the Eternal Loop System, my own creation. In this current loop, instead of rushing after Miss Claire, I tried to bide my time a bit.
The reason? My heart ached a lot while thinking about this particular word, but maybe, just maybe, I was a little bit bored. I was not bored with Miss Claire of course. I still loved her with all my heart. 100% sure. I was just bored with the repetitions.
It turned out, in the scenario where I was not chasing Miss Claire every day, a lot of my time in Royal Academy was spent with Misha. I always knew that Misha was a beauty, but after spending much time together, I realized I was naïve. Misha was breathtaking. Her beauty was like a work of art, each feature perfectly crafted and placed to leave onlookers in awe. She was the embodiment of grace and elegance, and it was impossible not to be captivated by her. As her roommate, I basically basked in her scent every day, a nice scent that whispered of femininity and delicacy. It was a scent that enveloped me and made me want to draw closer, to breathe in the aroma and to bask in its warmth.
I believed my feeling was closer to admiration than love. Like how Miss Claire admired Thane before she, ahem , would fall in love with me. I admired Misha right now, and would work hard towards my beloved Miss Claire later. All good. I was still the same Rae Taylor that loved Miss Claire. Nothing’s changed in my heart.
I convinced myself that, at least.
***
“Rae, it’s already late. We should get some sleep.”
“Eh, don’t wanna.”
It was indeed already late, but I still wanted to talk to Misha. Recently, we always talked for hours every night, and it became my favorite time of the day. We currently lied down in our bunk bed, with Misha taking the top bunk and I the bottom one.
“Rae, are you okay?”
Misha suddenly asked me with a gentle tone.
“Hm? Why?”
“Lately, you were getting bullied a lot by the nobles, right?”
“Oh, that. I’m fine, really.”
Misha was of course talking about Miss Claire and her entourage. As the school going, they started to pay a lot of attention to me. I was happy to be bullied, but right now I was still prioritizing Misha. Because of that, I didn’t react too strongly to their bullying. In other words, I react like a normal person, not like my usual eccentric self. That must have caused Misha to worry. Was she an angel?
“I’m always here if you want to talk, okay?”
Suddenly I felt a surge of affection washed over me. My heart pounding and a warm flush spread across my cheeks. I realized how much Misha cares about me.
“Hey Misha, can we sleep together?”
“What? No, it will be too cramped.”
“C’mon, don’t be like that.”
Ignoring her protest, I climbed to the top of the bunk bed and shoved Misha so I could lay beside her.
“Really, you are.”
Misha complained, but then she fixed her position, making sure I had enough room. This bed really was too small for two people. Even with Misha and I that had relatively small posture, our shoulders pushed against each other.
“So, Rae, you really feel anxious after all.”
“Hm? What is this about?”
“We are talking about you getting bullied right? Isn’t the reason you come to my bed to talk about that?”
“Oh no, this and that are completely different things. I just want to sleep together with you.”
“… I don’t get you sometimes.”
But I was just being honest , I answered Misha. Her soft body was pressed against mine. Her warmth gave me a sense of comfort.
“Come to think of it, when we were little we often slept together like this, didn't we?”
“Yes, and it was so much trouble trying to wake you up. Though it’s not so much different right now.”
“I feel like we have had this conversation before. Back then you prompted me to be more selfish with my feelings, right?”
“No, I am pretty sure we never talk about anything like that.”
Misha looked confused. Huh, did I misremember it? Was it something that happened in one of the previous loops? But whatever, whether that really happened or not, I decided to follow it- to be more selfish.
“Whoa, Rae? Oi, you are too close!”
I hugged Misha tightly. Not just with my arms, but I pressed my whole body against her. I placed my face on her exposed neck. Misha was flustered at first, but quickly calmed down.
“Really, what is wrong with you today? You are acting like a spoiled child.”
“Am I not allowed to act spoiled with my best friend?”
“Do not think you can get away with everything using ‘best friend’ as the reason.”
Still, Misha allowed me to hug her. As I pressed my body against her, I breathed in her scent, and I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me. I couldn't help but pull her even closer. I closed my eyes and let myself be fully present in the moment. This must be what happiness felt like, and I never wanted the moment to end.
“Good night then, Rae.”
“Good night, Misha.”
***
Miss Claire, wait for me.
All the taunting and mocking from Manaria made me realized, I just loved Miss Claire so much. I resolved to myself that I would do anything necessary to win this battle. We were betting on Miss Claire using the Scales of Love on the Amour Festival, and currently I was in the forest neighboring the site where the Scales of Love were kept. I was looking for a certain item for my offering called the Branch of Eternal Love, which was a rare drop from a powerful monster known as the Tree of Eternal Love, which lived deep in the forest. I already killed around two hundred or so, and I was almost at my limit. No luck so far.
Just when I was going deeper into the forest-
“Rae!”
When I turned around, with a face full of worry, stood Misha.
“You look terrible. What are you doing?”
“Hey, Misha. I am fine, don’t worry about me.”
I smiled at her, but she did not reply. The memory of us sleeping together in our dorms felt like years ago. After that very moment, I remember the distance between us grew larger. As my feelings for Miss Claire inevitably grew, my time with Misha decreased significantly. I felt like I was seeing Misha for the first time in a while.
“Is it for Miss Claire?”
Misha looked impassive, but I could hear a bit of pain in her words.
“Yes.”
I truly was aware of the significance of the Amour Festival, especially for Miss Claire and I. Our relationship would only get stronger from here. My feeling, my admiration for Misha would have no place anymore. I felt like somehow Misha knew this. My body, with all the tiredness, felt really heavy, but it couldn’t compare to the heaviness that I felt in my heart.
“Misha.”
“Yes?”
“I need to do this for Miss Claire. I am sure you understand, as you also have a person who you hold dearly in your heart.”
“Yes. I understand that fully.”
We looked at each other for a while, like we didn't want to let each other go. Finally, Misha broke into a gentle smile.
“Goodluck, Rae.”
“Thank you, Misha. You are my best friend.”
“And you are mine.”
As I walked away, I felt a sharp pang in my chest. It was as if a part of me was being ripped away. I wanted to go back, but I knew I needed to let go of her. Misha was meant to be with Yuu, and I was meant to be with Miss Claire. Our feelings should not even cross each other in the first place.
Never again.
I thought to myself as I walked deeper into the forest, leaving Misha behind. Never again in this life, and many lives that would come, I would repeat the same mistake. Because of my selfishness, not only did I hurt myself, I also hurt my dear friend. I would not play with feelings again.
From that day on, the distance between us never grew smaller.