Chapter Text
Everyone lied.
It’s the way life was. From little white lies to bigger ones, everyone lied about something: to fool someone else, fool themselves or both.
Arthur lied too.
From lying that he agreed with his father on certain things (especially on the topic of marriage), to lying to his knights sometimes, and everything in between.
Arthur didn’t exactly make a habit out of lying, but he wasn’t always truthful either. The silvered paper cuts on his fingers were proof of that. Some of his bigger scars were scattered on his arms and shins. He was ashamed of some of them, sure, but he lied when he had to because telling the truth wasn’t an option, sometimes.
He was used to seeing scars on people’s hands. He wasn’t ready to see Merlin’s bare hands when they first met.
It took him very off guard at first. He hadn’t seen a bare hand before, not without scars on the fingers or palms. Everyone lied. It was a fact.
Except for Merlin, apparently.
He checked Merlin’s hands and arms whenever the other was cleaning or dressing him, he always checked. Just to see if Merlin still really was as honest as his body claimed he was on the first day they met. It became a habit to check.
Arthur never found a scar. In the entire time he and Merlin knew each other, he didn’t find a single scar on his arms, hands, or even his feet.
Not a nick, a tear or even a sliver of a scar. Nothing.
It was unbelievable. And a bit terrifying, if Arthur was honest with himself.
Arthur never found a single scar on his manservant and best friend.
Until he finally did.
It happened after they got back to Camelot from another failed hunting trip that turned into an ambush by bandits. By some luck, both of them came back alive and with only minor injuries.
Arthur was sitting shirtless on a chair in Gaius’ chambers, letting the Court Physician rub a salve on a particularly nasty cut to his shoulder. Merlin had just disappeared into his small bedroom, claiming that he had to change since his clothes were filthy from the ambush.
“Keep this on for at least a day or so, but the wound should heal just fine,” Gaius explained as he put a dressing on the wound.
Arthur nodded in confirmation. “Thank you, Gaius. Your help is always appreciated.”
“It’s no trouble at all,” Gaius said as he stood up and looked Arthur over once more. Seemingly satisfied, he then smiled at him. “If you excuse me, Sire, I have to run a potion to the lower town.”
“Of course. Thank you again,” Arthur said, standing up with his tunic in his hands. Gaius only smiled and nodded in response before he took a bottle, put it in his bag and was out the door.
Arthur went to put on his tunic before noticing a jagged slash on the shoulder. He huffed in annoyance. This was a new shirt! A hole in it wouldn’t do at all.
Determined, he strode to Merlin’s bedroom door, tunic in hand, and was so distracted with his thoughts and annoyance over the hole that he didn’t knock. Instead, he just opened the door and walked in. “ Mer lin, I need—“ he started to say, but the command died on his lips when he saw Merlin.
Merlin was shirtless and standing in front of him, his head turned to look in the small mirror that was behind him, reflecting the image of his back. A shirtless Merlin was something that Arthur had never seen before, but that wasn’t the reason for his shock.
No, the reason for that was the image of Merlin’s back reflected in the mirror. Along his back, going from his shoulder blade to his ribs on the other side, was a large, gruesome scar, mixed between red and brown. A section of it appeared to be healing over, standing out in silvered white.
Merlin turned his head and he paled instantly, his face freezing in fear, eyes wide, “A-Arthur.”
Even though he could feel Merlin’s eyes on him, it took Arthur a long moment to tear his own away from the image of Merlin’s scarred back to look at his face. “Explain.”
Merlin’s face twisted into confusion, “What?”
“Your back. That scar. Explain.” Arthur demanded and took a step closer, stopping when Merlin immediately backed up two steps, his face fearful again.
“No.” Merlin said immediately, a fearful tint to the otherwise strong tone in his voice. “Please, Arthur-“
“Merlin, tell me,” Arthur’s steel voice commanded. But Merlin, stupid, defiant Merlin, shook his head.
“I can’t.” He refused and Arthur didn’t know which emotion he felt stronger, hurt or anger. He took another step closer and Merlin took another two back, moving close to the mirror.
“Merlin, whatever secret you’re hiding, you can tell me.” Arthur tried. “I-We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Merlin’s blue eyes looked into Arthur’s and nodded. “Of course we are-“
“And as your friend, you can trust me. I won’t judge you,” Arthur insisted, but Merlin shook his head and hit the mirror with his back, his breath coming out shakily.
“You will. You’ll hate me and-and I can’t have you hate me. I won’t,” Merlin spoke, tears coming to his eyes. “Please, Arthur-“
“I won’t hate you. I can’t hate you, I promise-"
“Arthur, I’m begging you,” Merlin cut him off, arms wrapping around his bare torso and making himself look smaller than he was. “If you ever cared for me in any way, even as just your manservant…please don’t make me tell you,” Merlin looked into his eyes, tears falling now. “Please…Please, Arthur.”
Arthur watched the tears fall on Merlin’s face and it twisted his stomach to see them, especially because Merlin was scared. Scared of him . Whatever secret Merlin had, it must’ve been easier to lie about it than to tell anyone.
What secret was worth that gruesome scar?
After a moment or two, Arthur nodded and stepped back, retreating to the doorway. “Okay. Okay, Merlin.” Arthur said in a calm voice. “I won’t make you explain the scar.”
He turned away from Merlin then, unable to look at Merlin anymore. It hurt him to see the fear in Merlin’s eyes. “If you ever change your mind…Your secret will be safe with me.”
Arthur slipped on his tunic and took a few steps towards the front door, then stopped and looked at a section of the floor behind him. “Take the rest of the day off, Merlin. I’ll see you in the morning,” Arthur added. If Merlin said anything in response, Arthur didn’t pay attention to it as he walked out of the Physician’s Quarters, his mind turning and his heart aching.