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Merlin tossed and turned in his small bed, unable to get comfortable.
It was very unfortunate, since for once he actually had time to sleep.
But his mind wouldn't stop racing, he couldn't get comfortable, and his blanket was too hot, but if he threw it off, it was chilly.
Eventually he stands, grabbing a candle and his boots.
He sneaks past Gaius and out the door, lighting the candle with a glance.
He walks quietly through the castle, the only other people awake being the gaurds on duty, who pay him no mind.
Eventually he stops in the kitchens, looking around to see if there's anything to snack on, as if that might help him to sleep.
In the dim light of the single candle, it's not easy to find much, but he eventually discovers some leftover bread, and is shoving it into his mouth when he hears the sound of a blade being extracted from it's sheath.
He tenses, readying his magic, thinking it's an assassin that he was lucky enough to be around to stop.
"Who's there?" Calls a familiar voice.
Merlin relaxes, spinning around.
He tries to speak, but with the bread "Arthur" comes out more like "Ahfa!"
"Merlin? What on earth are you doing?!" Arthur asks as he lowers his dagger.
Merlin just holds up his half eaten piece of bread in response.
"Couldn't sleep either?" Arthur asks, sounding surprisingly calm for finding Merlin rooting through the food storages in the middle of the night.
Merlin shakes his head, finally swallowing the bread.
"I thought a snack would help."
"Me too."
"There's one of those little pies you like left, over there." Merlin says, gesturing to a container.
Arthur nods, going over to find it.
"Here." Arthur says, tossing something at him.
Merlin manages to catch it, and finds that it's an apple.
"Thanks." He says, looking down to hide any traces of his smile that would be visible in the low light.
It always surprised him when Arthur would remember something he'd said offhandedly, such as his favorite fruit, as far as he could tell, he never did it with anyone else.
Even Morgana, Merlin knows of multiple times he's reminded Arthur of her favorite flower or food when he's supposed to be getting her something for any reason.
She really liked that dress embroidered with her favorite flower, and even thanked Merlin, because she knew he'd be the one to remember.
"You know Cook would kill us both if she found us down here, right?" Arthur mentions before taking a bite of his pie.
Merlin watches him lick his lips, hoping it's not too obvious in the dim candlelight.
"What good is being royalty if you can't go for a late night snack with your servant every once in a while?"
"Don't make it sound like I brought you with me!" Arthur gestures with his pie, which isn't as menacing as he hopes it is.
Though Merlin doesn't ever really find him menacing.
"Oh, but Cook would believe you did." Merlin gestures right back with his apple.
"You think she'd believe you over me? I thought you said she hates you?"
"She does. But anyone would believe you dragged me out here in the middle of the night."
Arthur doesn't have much to say to that, and though Merlin can't tell for sure with it being so scarcely lit, but it almost looks like he's blushing.
One thing Merlin knows is that Arthur doesn't often blush.
If he turns red, Merlin usually tries to leave because that means he's about to explode and that usually means extra chores.
It hasn't meant the stocks in a while, but there was a time that it did.
The only times Merlin has seen Arthur blush from anything other than anger, is when a visiting Lady made a joke most would deem unladylike, and when Morgana whispered something to Arthur at a feast and unlike the usual times she whispers to him, Merlin knew it wasn't a blush from anger because instead of coming up with something to say back, Arthur just ducked his head and muttered.
Then he jumped when Merlin came up to refill his cup, and the redness got even worse when he leant over to ask if he'd been poisoned or something because he looked so strange.
A mumbled "Shut up, Merlin." was all he got in return.
So for Arthur to be blushing now, for no reason other than Merlin saying Arthur drags him everywhere, is odd, to say the least.
"You alright?"
"Hm? Fine, yes!" Arthur says, in a very un-Arthur-like way.
"Have you been enchanted again or something?" Merlin asks, wondering if it'd be possible to do a check.
"No, Merlin. I'm fine. Just hungry."
"If you say so." Merlin narrows his eyes at him, but can't feel any magic coming from him, so he just turns to see if there's any water inside, or if he'll have to go to the pump.
As he's looking, he munches on the apple, licking any juice that tries to run.
He glances up to ask if Arthur sees any water near him, to find he's already being watched.
Arthur quickly looks away, grabbing a pitcher and handing it over wordlessly.
"How did you know I was looking for water?"
"People usually want something to drink while they eat, Merlin." He says, pushing over two cups as well.
"Why were you watching me?"
"Why were you watching me?"
"I wasn't."
"You were before."
"Because you were acting strange."
"You're always acting strange."
"So are you, but this was a different strange."
"Whatever, Merlin. Just pour us some water."
"I'm off duty, pour it yourself."
"You said I went for a snack with my servant! Doesn't that usually mean you're here to do things for me?"
"That is my job title, but my work day doesn't start until sunrise. I still have a while." Merlin says, giving a cheeky smile.
"Oh, so when it suits you, you can be my servant anytime, but not when I need you to be?"
"Now you're getting it. Come on, don't tell me you're physically incapable of pouring some water?"
"I'll pour it over your head."
"Then you won't have any." Merlin says, quickly drinking what he'd gotten for himself so Arthur couldn't take it.
He receives a glare, but Arthur does manage to get some water.
"See? Was that so hard?"
"I knew I should've sent you out of my kitchen."
"Your kitchen?"
"It is my castle. Therefore, all the rooms are mine."
"Maybe, but I'm in here more."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It's my kitchen more than yours, because I'm here more often."
"That makes no sense, Merlin. If that's the case, it belongs to the cook."
"Well, yes. I think she'd probably whack you with her spoon if you said it belongs to you and you alone."
"You may have a point there."
"Of course I do."
"Don't let it go to your head." Arthur says, rolling his eyes and playfully shoving Merlin.
"I'd never." Merlin says, shoving right back.
Their eyes meet, holding the gaze for a while.
Arthur eventually drops his gaze to where Merlin's hand is still on his arm.
Merlin starts to pull it away, already preparing to log this moment in with all the other similar times, just something they do that can't be explained, but Arthur shifts his arm, following Merlin's hand.
Merlin looks up at his face, for once unable to get a sure reading of what he's feeling.
"What is this?" Arthur mutters, probably hoping Merlin won't hear, but he does.
"What is what?"
"What are we doing, Merlin?"
"Well, I came here to get something to eat, and then you came and wanted to stab me." Merlin says, trying to lighten the suddenly much heavier feeling in the room.
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
Merlin stays silent for a moment, thinking over his answer.
"We're doing what we always do."
"Exactly. I tried to ignore it, but I'm tired of this, Merlin. I'm sure you are too."
He gulps, nodding slowly.
"Very tired."
"So why keep doing it? I know, I know it won't be easy. Me being the King makes everything so much harder. But must we keep dancing around each other? I love you, Merlin. You have to know that."
Merlin slides his hand down to link with Arthur's, giving it a squeeze.
"I want to, Arthur, I do, I love you too, but there's things you don't know."
"Like what?" Arthur asks, confused about this turn.
"Things about me."
"So tell me?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"You'll hate me."
"Merlin, I couldn't hate you if I tried. I know that for a fact."
"You will, once you find out I've been lying."
"I know you lie about things. I know you're never in the tavern when Gauis says you are. I know there's something that keeps giving you a warning about dangers before anyone else. I know that there's something about you that makes you carry yourself unlike all other servants, something powerful."
Merlin clearly wasn't expecting this response, if his confused blinking is anything to go by.
"Am I getting close?"
Merlin nods, still unable to speak.
"So I already know plenty of things about you. You're not perfect, but neither am I. So tell me about whatever else is holding us back."
"I have magic." Merlin blurts, gripping Arthur's hand so he can't pull away too soon.
"I have magic, and I use it for you. To protect you."
"That does make sense." Arthur mumbles, putting all the pieces together.
"Is that all you have to say?"
"What do you want me to say? You had to lie, to keep yourself safe."
"This isn't how I was expecting this to go."
"What did you expect?" Arthur asks, nauseous at the idea that Merlin could've thought Arthur would kill him.
"I expected you to think I didn't trust you, and be upset."
"If you didn't trust me, you wouldn't have told me."
"Exactly! I trust you completely, I just didn't want you to have to choose between me and the law."
"I've already done that. Whatever my father said might as well have been law, even if it wasn't on paper, and yet how often did I go against him for you?"
"But that was different."
"How? Just like keeping your magic a secret, it was usually to save your life. He said not to go on a dangerous journey to find a cure for you after getting poisoned, but I did. He wanted me to arrest you for stealing from his troll wife, but I didn't. He told me not to fall in love with a servant, but I did. The laws are old, and need an update. That's why I have a draft in my desk about changing them."
"What are you changing?"
"That the Druids will be safe, that anyone can court, no matter their stations, that magic needs to be readdressed with a law other than immediate death for everything."
"Why didn't I know about this?"
"Because it's a secret."
"And you're a prat. A lovely prat, but still a prat." Merlin says, not letting Arthur respond before connecting their lips.
"Finally." They both mutter, before going right back together.
When the cook arrives early and finds the King making out with his servant, she just smacks them both with her spoon and tells them to get out.
"I told you!" Arthur declares as they run out.
"Shut up. Can we delay everything? I still need sleep." Merlin huffs as Arthur pulls him through the corridors.
"Maybe we can hide?
They duck into a doorway, sighing in relief at the empty bed.
It takes quite a few knights and servants looking before they eventually find them curled up together in the unused room.