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Language:
English
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Published:
2023-02-05
Updated:
2023-12-20
Words:
9,045
Chapters:
7/?
Comments:
15
Kudos:
29
Bookmarks:
9
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692

Trashy Dragon Age self insert (A working title !)

Summary:

Well here we are , another modern girl in thedas . Will Callie end up being a wise cracking mage , a hold it to her chest seer , lest the original story go awry , or get caught up in so many love triangle’s it would make the average romance novel dizzy ! Find out next on Total! Drama! Thedas !

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: The stars

Chapter Text

Callie opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was that the stars where wrong . The air smelled sour and full of ash, her ears were ringing and her skin was tight and in pain . She gingerly sat up and gave herself a moment to boot up .

Her blue eyes widened as she took in the scene around her , her ass was in the snow , in a forest filled mountain range , and below her was a seemingly sleep filled village aglow with firelight . Callie’s heart starting to pound , she remembered thinking the stars where wrong , and looked up again for them , and this time she saw it . ‘Oh God’ she thought , it was huge , this massive hole in the sky , green and casting its light for miles .’How did I miss that the first time’
The stars were wrong , there was a freaky, glowy hole in the sky , she was sitting with a wet ass in the cold snow in her Walmart granny gown and the night wind was not kind . As much as she wanted to stay put and spaz out , Callie’s mom didn’t raise no bitch.
She got up on her socked feet and stumbled her way towards the village , half seeing in the dark. Trudging through the snow and doing her best not to step on any rocks or sticks , but somehow those little fuckers still got their hits in on her feet .
Callie was working through a particular rough spot , she was going down hill in knee deep snow . It was like the high school gym class from hell . Her breath came in ragged and her legs weighed a ton from heaving them through the snow . Callie stopped by one of the few pine trees where she was to catch her breath, and fight off the black that was edging into her vision .
Blinking rapidly to clear her eyes and looking down she saw the village was closer and much bigger than she initially thought . There was stone walls that appeared to hold the village or town proper and then a decent smattering of tents before what could have been a lake , it was hard for her to tell .

Callie roused herself for the final push , she was confused , her head was screaming for a Advil and she had no shelter , her basic survival depended on her moving forward .
However her legs refused to lift anymore , they had reached their trudging limit .
‘If only I had a crazy carpet or toboggan, then I could just whiz my way down to safety.’ Sighing , Callie just flopped down in the snow , landing on something hard! She turned over on her hand and knees and pulled at what appeared to be a good sized chunk of oiled canvas! Still not believing her luck ,Callie dug out the remaining canvas and gave sliding down the hill the old college try .

She got about three feet in front of her before sinking into the snow , it was more of a belly flop than a slide , her aches and pains made themselves known along with the cold . Callie has always been a ‘learn things the hard way ‘ kind of woman , so it was three bellyflops later when she rolled herself in the canvas and then barrel rolled down the hill.

It was exhilarating and terrifying as the snow’s depth lessened and she picked up speed, she let out loud hysterical giggles and she zoomed down .
And that’s how Callie entered the outskirts of the village camp, belly down , gasping for air , she rolled over and looked straight into the startled eyes of some dude dressed as a renaissance fair knight ,he had on some serious looking armour, some big ass sword and is that a huge feather boa? “His eyes are so pretty, like a tigers eye stone ” Callie thought. The man’s face flushed at this .
Callie looked at him in confusion, then pointed up at the sky as they both looked up , the stars and giant green swirl looking back at them . Callie tried again to find a familiar constellation but she couldn’t find anything , she was embarrassed to find she was crying , and was dimly aware of the feathered knight calling out behind him .
She felt someone lift her half up , her head hurt so bad , her body was shaking, she looked up at the man scooping her up , he paused his movement for a moment under her intense gaze.
“The stars are all wrong.” Callie said mournfully , causing the feathered knights face to furrow in concern , and then she promptly gave into the darkness that had been trying to take over her vision .

 

Commander Cullen stood at the edge of Haven staring out in to the stars , the breach behind him , the soothing scape of the mountains in front of him . Although he couldn’t see far it was still soothing to be out in the open . His nights were long as sleep was a fickle friend after .. Kirkwall . But they were doing good work in Haven , with the inquisiton , they may be able to close the breach yet .

Cullen closed his eyes and breathed in deep and exhaled. He heard the sound of giggling on the wind . Scrunching his face up in confusion,He saw something or someone barreling down the hill close to him at a alarming speed .
Before him ,rolled a oil canvas with feet, then the canvas with feet rolled over to reveal themselves . Cullen looked down at the most confusing sight . There was a tall woman , dark hair spilled around her with the odd twig in it, dressed in just a night dress covered in soot ,’oh makers furry arse!’ Cullen was concerned and scandalized , his chantry background making a brief appearance.
The woman’s eyes opened up and looked at him , Cullen was even more surprised when she spoke to him .
“He has pretty eyes , like a tigers eye stone.”she said. Cullen felt himself give involuntary flush At the statement . She pointed up at the sky with a grimace ,Cullen a eyes followed hers. His attention was brought back to her when she started to weep .
Finally finding his voice , Cullen called out for a for his second Rylen , to come help him , Cullen knew Rylen was always watching him on the harder nights . He swooped down and scooped up the woman, he could feel her shaking and he could now see and feel the blood running down her side. He was about to let her know it’s ok, and froze when he met her intense gaze .
“The stars are all wrong.”
Cullen felt a mix of frustration , confusion and then fear as she went limp in his arms .