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Crunch, crunch.
Crunch, crunch.
The sound of dry grass being crushed beneath his armored boots with each step he took filled the silence of the Somniel. The moon was close to giving way for the sun, falling just above the horizon in one last effort to maintain the darkness of night. Alcryst walked silently, keeping his head held low, his blue hair obscuring his vision. He didn’t know where he was going, or what he was doing, still awake at this hour. Just that he had to get his mind off of the events of earlier.
“Was I a good son? I should have asked you that sooner.” Diamant’s voice echoed in the Cathedral, standing out to him amongst the shouts and yells of battle around him.
The air was still, no longer providing a light breeze the further down the path he walked. Nobody was around to bother him, everyone presumably asleep or hidden behind the doors to their rooms. The day was rough, the wounds he sustained still aching even after being healed numerous times. His teammates needed rest. He needed rest.
“You instilled in me pride and strength. But most importantly… You gave me your love.” Diamant’s voice fell quiet, his sword raised to point towards their father’s chest.
His older brother, invulnerable and perfect in every way, hesitated at the face of an enemy. Alcryst couldn’t blame him. He would’ve hesitated too… If he was ordered to kill their father. It was a cruel fate forced onto them.
Tears pricked at his eyes, his bottom lip trembling as the memories seared their way into his mind. Flashbacks of that day, of that moment his father fell to Diamant’s sword, haunted him. The look on Diamant’s face–the sheer horror of his actions–broke his heart. He clenched his fists tightly, fastening his pace as he approached the camp near the Lookout Ridge. Why? Why? Why why why. Why did it have to be Diamant? Why did Diamant have to live with the burden of killing their father? It should have been him. He should’ve been the one to kill their father.
The sight of a figure’s shadow in front of him stopped Alcryst in his tracks. He looked up from the ground, squinting his eyes at the familiar figure in front of him. Messy red hair, fancy yet protective armor. The red and blacks of Brodia. Diamant. Alcryst approached quietly, his frown tight and eyes stinging with unshed tears.
“Dia-” Alcryst was stopped by the abrupt motion of Diamant whipping his head around, eyes wide in shock.
Alcryst noticed how they were pink and puffy, the fresh tracks of tears shimmering on his cheeks. He slumped his shoulders, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to hold back his tears further. Diamant was alone here, crying to himself, and he didn’t know until now. He was a failure of a younger brother.
“Alcryst. I… Didn’t expect you to be up so late,” He spoke quietly, his voice hoarse from his earlier crying.
“I couldn’t sleep.” He approached slowly, hesitating next to Diamant, “I’m sorry. I should’ve been here sooner.”
“I wouldn’t want you to see me like this.” Diamant looked away, keeping his gaze fixated on the sky in front of them.
Over the cliff, past the tower in the distance, the sky faded into a light pink to signal dawn. Birds slowly started to wake up, chirping away from their nests in the trees above. Alcryst lowered himself slowly, sitting down on the dirt ground next to Diamant. His legs hung off the cliff, his arms wrapped across his chest protectively. He hunched his back, following Diamant’s gaze to the sky.
“Why? You… You shouldn’t have to hide things from me just because I’m your younger brother.” Alcryst gave him a side glance, his lips downturned.
“I don’t want you to see me as weak. You should have a stable shoulder to rely on, especially after everything that’s happened,” Diamant sighed, turning his head away from Alcryst.
Alcryst moved, shifting himself so he was facing Diamant fully rather than out past the cliff in front of them. “That doesn’t matter to me. Diamant, you shouldn’t worry about me when you’re in just as much pain. I… I know better than most people that holding it in doesn’t help.”
“I know. There’s just nothing I can do about that. I need to be strong.” Diamant bit his lip, giving the horizon a sharp glare. “I can’t afford to be vulnerable. Brodia needs a fearless king… Like Father.”
Watching the sunrise like this, under ordinary circumstances Alcryst would love it. He enjoyed the company of his brother in the cold early mornings, viewing the rise of the sun and the sparkles of dew-covered grass. Today… It was bittersweet.
Alcryst uncrossed his arms, clenching his fists. “You’re not Father, Diamant! Listen to me… Vulnerability isn’t bad. You don’t have to be strong and bottle everything up for my sake. I just want you to be safe.”
It was so hard holding back his tears right now. His voice trembled with each word, Diamant noticed.
“Alcryst…” Diamant finally looked at him again, his eyes shimmering bright red with the faint sunlight. They were glossy with unshed teardrops.
“I want to protect you,” Alcryst blurted out, his hands trembling on his lap.
“Protect me?” Diamant raised his eyebrows, shock written all over his expression.
Alcryst fell silent.
Neither of them had changed out of their battle armor since they returned from the Cathedral to rest. Diamant’s armor was still covered in dried blood, both his own and their father’s. He finally decided to reach over, pulling his older sibling into a tight hug. Having buried his head into Diamant’s shoulder, the dams holding back his tears broke.
“If… If you fell in battle one day, I don’t know what I’d do,” He sobbed, keeping himself close to Diamant’s warmth, “I can’t lose you, too. You and Mother… You’re all I have!”
Diamant’s arms wrapped around him protectively, holding him close. He sat in silence for a moment, closing his eyes while he thought of a response. Alcryst was inconsolable, sobbing into his shoulder without relent. He could feel the cloth dampening with salty tears. Much like he was just a few hours earlier.
“Oh, Alcryst,” He muttered, raising a hand to gently rub the back of Alcryst’s head. “You shouldn’t have to worry about that. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. I couldn’t leave my baby brother behind.”
“Just… Just don’t forget you’re not invincible, okay? I’ll do whatever I can to protect you! I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Alcryst’s rapid breathing started to slow into a calmer pace, his trembling ceasing ever so lightly under Diamant’s hold.
He leaned heavily against Diamant, his head still resting on his big brother’s shoulder. He closed his eyes, exhausted from the amount of crying he did just a moment before. The sun rose further now, light slowly coming back to the Somniel. In a few hours, the early risers would be awake. He didn’t want to be seen like this.
“I’ll remember. When this war is over, I hope we won’t have to fight in battle again.” Diamant spoke softly, not quite looking at Alcryst. “Peace… Sounds nice, doesn’t it?”
Whether he was talking to himself, or to Alcryst, Alcryst wouldn’t know. He took Diamant’s words and held onto them like a lifeline, calming down and composing himself. The bags under his eyes, darkened with the lack of sleep, felt heavier than ever. A weight on his eyelids, trying but failing to force them to close.
“It does. I… Wonder what Father would say to that.” He smiled, ever so softly at Diamant.