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Trouser Log, Day 1:
Well, today has certainly been a series of unexpected adventures!
After spending the better part of two decades gathering dust alongside the other slacks, pants, and trousers in the TARDIS’ wardrobe room, who should appear before me but the Doctor, in his latest incarnation, wearing stripy pyjamas and a dressing gown and looking me over with an appraising eye.
Thirty minutes and a few nips and tucks by the TARDIS later, and here I am: part of a snappy pinstriped ensemble (if I do say so myself!) and prouder than an overlong striped scarf to be here.
I’m going to try and keep a log of my adventures with this new Doctor. Who knows how long my moment in the sun, so to speak, will last – and I want to capture every moment of it.
Oops – I better go. We’re off to Christmas dinner with Rose (the girl who travels with the Doctor) and her mum. By the way the Doctor keeps bouncing on the balls of his feet and such it’s clear he’s very anxious to be off! Back with more soon, and happy Christmas.
Trouser Log, Day 10:
Less than two weeks in and I can already tell that things are going brilliantly with this new Doctor.
More to the point: that my being part of his wardrobe is going brilliantly.
Or at the very least, Rose Tyler likes me a whole lot. She looks at me all the time! It’s so flattering. Usually it’s when the Doctor is paying attention to something else, like the wiring under the TARDIS console. Or when his back is to her. Sometimes, though, she also stares at me for quite a long time when the Doctor sits cross-legged directly in front of her.
For some reason she seems to have a special affinity for the part of me that’s closest to the Doctor’s belt buckle in the front and the part that covers his bum in the back.
Other women seem to like looking at me in the same way but none so much as Rose. I won’t lie to you – I’m just chuffed about all this attention. It was a very lonely twenty years in that wardrobe room.
Trouser Log: Day 15
Today was a very interesting day.
Went to 19th century England with the Doctor and Rose and met the Queen. The Doctor used a terrible, incredibly fake Scottish accent for a bit. It would have made me cringe, really (if trousers could cringe).
Later on there was also a werewolf, which was a bit exciting.
Most noteworthy to me, however, was something that happened roughly halfway through the adventure. Shortly after arriving at the castle, when the Doctor and Rose were messing about in the library, I experienced something… most unusual.
Normally, the Doctor needs to cinch me round the waist with a belt fifteen times (or so it seems) in order for me to stay upright, since he’s such a skinny bloke. But today, right in the middle of everything with the werewolf, when he and Rose Tyler were trying to figure a way out of the situation, things got very… well. Tight, for me. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. I’m always a bit pinched at his bum, but this time I was also… tight right below the belt buckle as well. In the front.
You know where I’m talking about.
Anyway – this has happened to me once or twice before (once, briefly, during Christmas dinner at the Tylers’; and again when we visited that hospital on New Earth). And it's… well. It’s an incredibly difficult sensation to describe, but suffice to say I don’t like it when it happens. I don’t like it at all.
And although as a pair of trousers I am not privy to the Doctor’s innermost thoughts, I can somehow sense that he doesn’t care for it when it happens, either.
Maybe I should ask the leather jacket if anything like this ever happened to it during its time with the Doctor. Yes. I’ll do that tonight when we get back to the TARDIS.
Trouser Log: Day 16
Note to self: As it happens, the leather jacket is not a useful source of information.
It’s also a bit of a jerk.
As planned, I asked it if anything like what I experienced yesterday had ever happened to him when he was with the Doctor. And although I was quite polite when I asked him it didn’t say anything at all in response. Just flipped up his collar and laughed at me. (As much as an inanimate leather jacket can laugh. I guess you could say it was a bit more of a fabric-flapping than an actual laugh. But no matter – the intent was crystal clear.)
I could try talking to the scarf, I suppose – but he’s in a different part of the TARDIS, I think. I haven’t seen him in ages anyway.
Looks like I’m on my own here in trying to figure out what happened to the Doctor and how I can stop it from happening again.