Work Text:
+44 7136 070592
Mon 28th of November 2022
+44 7136 070592 (20:13)
[ID: image of a blond man with curly hair, lying naked on his back, with a human-sized goldfish on top of him]
+44 7136 070592 (20:13)
lol
+44 7136 070592 (20:13)
do you think this is the right pic???
+44 7136 070592 (20:14)
shep?
+44 7136 070592 (20:17)
shep???
+44 7136 070592 (20:25)
I sincerely apologise for this message, I now see you are the wrong person
+44 7136 070592 (20:25)
I have no idea how I got this number or how I happened to confuse it with a saved number, but it happened and I am so sorry
+44 7136 070592 (20:25)
I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable, but I can fully understand if I did
+44 7136 070592 (20:27)
Please don’t call the police on me
+44 7136 070592 (20:27)
I actually do not know if this is a fineable offense or a form of harassment but if it is, for legal reasons, this is a joke
+44 7136 070592 (20:27)
A joke between me and my friend that completely got out of hand and I am sorry I dragged you into this by acceident
+44 7136 070592 (20:28)
*accident
+44 7136 070592 (20:29)
Alright
+44 7136 070592 (20:29)
I don’t know the protocols for this
+44 7136 070592 (20:30)
I will leave let you be
+44 7136 070592 (20:31)
Sorry, again.
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Mon 28th of November 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:45)
[ID: screenshot of the messages from +44 7136 070592]
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:45)
Dev Grimm (20:45)
LMAO WHAT?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:45)
I am having a weird day
Niall Kelly (20:46)
OH my god
Niall Kelly (20:46)
What the fuck did you say???
Niall Kelly (20:46)
Is it weird that I find the guy in the photo very attractive??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:46)
Yes
Dev Grimm (20:46)
Dude
Dev Grimm (20:47)
Altho now that I am taking a better look… Niall does have a point
Dev Grimm (20:47)
Kinda sad that that fucking fish is covering up his goods, if you get what I mean 😏
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:47)
ANYWAY
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:47)
I didn’t reply. I don’t have to.
Niall Kelly (20:47)
I mean
Niall Kelly (20:47)
You don’t have to
Niall Kelly (20:48)
But aren’t you a teensy bit intrigued by wtf is going on??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:48)
No
+44 7136 070592
Mon 28th of November 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:49)
What am I looking at?
+44 7136 070592 (20:50)
Oh hi!!!
+44 7136 070592 (20:51)
Please forget you’ve ever seen this 😭
+44 7136 070592 (20:51)
Allow me to have what’s left of my dignity!!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:51)
Well, I am asking, am I not?
+44 7136 070592 (20:51)
I mean
+44 7136 070592 (20:51)
If you must know…
+44 7136 070592 (20:51)
It’s not gonna make a lot of sense
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:52)
Try me
+44 7136 070592 (20:53)
My friend, the original recipient of this message, and i are part of this club and we are trying to win in a “make your own holiday cards” competition in that club and we knew that this would ccatch people’s attention
+44 7136 070592 (20:53)
So. Yeah.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:54)
?????????????
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:55)
You’re right. This is very confusing. How is this festive?
+44 7136 070592 (20:56)
shep’s gonna photoshop christmas hats on me and the fish
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:56)
That’s actually you?
+44 7136 070592 (20:57)
o fuck
+44 7136 070592 (20:59)
welp goodbye dignity goodbye stranger it was nice talking to you
+44 7136 070592 (21:00)
this never happened
📱📱📱
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Mon 28th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:01)
hi guys I a m craving DEATH
Shepard Bunce (21:01)
Please don’t die, Simon
Shepard Bunce (21:02)
you can’t die don’t leave me all alone 😭
Penelope Bunce (21:02)
I’m right next to you
Penelope Bunce (21:02)
Sigh.
Penelope Bunce (21:02)
Why are you craving death, Si?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:03)
[ID: several screenshots of the full conversation between Simon and +44 7375 698181]
Shepard Bunce (21:03)
O MY FUCKING GOD
Penelope Bunce (21:03)
Simon!!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:04)
adghfdsdfdkhksj I KNOW
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:04)
and the fact that he asked for the story???? fuck
Shepard Bunce (21:05)
this card is goinna look so poppin once I add the hats
Penelope Bunce (21:05)
I can’t believe this is why you wanted my big inflatable fish
Shepard Bunce (21:06)
well what else were you gonna use an inflatable fish for???
Penelope Bunce (21:07)
Ask Pacey! He’s the one who insisted on buying it for the summer.
Penelope Bunce (21:07)
We don’t even have a pool
Penelope Bunce (21:08)
Anyway Simon this was a honest mistake and you apologised. It is indeed cringe inducing, but no worries, you don’t have to die over it and you’ll never have to speak to this stranger again
+44 7375 698181
Mon 28th of November 2022
+44 7375 698181 (21:15)
Where do you even find an inflatable fish?
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
28th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:15)
GUYS they just sent me another message
Shepard Bunce (21:16)
oop
+44 7375 698181
Mon 28th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:18)
my best friend’s little brother bought it for the summer
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:18)
no one knows why tbh
+44 7375 698181 (21:20)
Interesting. That’s something my little sister would do
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:20)
little sibling energy right there
+44 7375 698181 (21:20)
Don’t remind me. I’m surrounded by 4 little children who are craving my attention. This is why I don’t come home often.
+44 7375 698181 (21:21)
Well I do adore them
+44 7375 698181 (21:21)
They’re just a bit much
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:22)
you have 4 little siblings???
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:22)
cant relate
+44 7375 698181 (21:22)
You didn’t grow up with little siblings?
+44 7375 698181 (21:22)
The dream!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:22)
well if you grow up with a shit ton of other reject kids in care you don’t need little siblings
+44 7375 698181 (21:22)
Oh
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Mon 28th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:22)
someone slap me
Penelope Bunce (21:22)
No
Shepard Bunce (21:23)
why?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:24)
because dropping the whole care home thing o na total stranger in your dms isn’t a great way to start a conversation
Shepard Bunce (21:24)
tbf to you… the conversation started with a photo of you being railed by an inflatable fish
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:24)
WE AGREED THERE IS NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT THAT PHOTO SHEP
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:24)
altho you’re right, nothing can top that
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:24)
not even childhood trauma yada yada
Penelope Bunce (21:25)
The fish is already on top
Shepard Bunce (21:25)
penny marry me again
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:25)
PEN I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS FRO M YOU
Penelope Bunce (21:25)
😏
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:26)
well then I suppose I hit rock bottom
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Mon 28th of November 2022
Dev Grimm (21:30)
yo Bazza where did you go?
Dev Grimm (21:30)
You haven’t reacted to our plans yet
Niall Kelly (21:30)
Did Petra steal your phone again?
Niall Kelly (21:30)
Shouldn’t the kids be asleep?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:31)
I’m here
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:31)
This weekend is fine. I’ll be back in London by then. It’s good to see you guys again.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:31)
And no, Petra didn’t steal my phone because she indeed is already in bed, but I was talking to the Fish Guy until I made it weird
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:31)
Or maybe he made it weird
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:32)
[ID: several screenshots of the latest messages between Baz and Fish Guy]
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:32)
Look it just got weird
Dev Grimm (21:33)
Hmmmm… yeah, that is an awkward place to end it
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:33)
So you’re suggesting I need to change the subject?
Dev Grimm (21:33)
If you want to
Dev Grimm (21:33)
Like, you don’t have to talk to him
Dev Grimm (21:34)
You said you weren’t intrigued or whatever
Niall Kelly (21:34)
But if you want to you can!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:34)
I can’t just ignore something massive like this
Niall Kelly (21:34)
Look he isn’t reacting either, so maybe it is embarrassing for him as well
Niall Kelly (21:34)
We human beings have the tendency to info dump at the most inappropriate times
Niall Kelly (21:35)
If you had just randomly mentioned your severe childhood depression caused by grief, you also would have an “omg what did I do???” moment
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:35)
I’d never use omg like an uncultured person
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:35)
But I get what you mean
Fish Guy
Mon 28th of November 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:40)
You’re right. Siblings sound much nicer.
Fish Guy (21:40)
it does
Fish Guy (21:40)
sorry for dropping that on you btw
Fish Guy (21:41)
im so used to everyone around me knowing about my ✨dramatic past✨
Fish Guy (21:41)
you’re just a stranger who unfortunately had to see me getting railed by a fish
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:41)
What
Fish Guy (21:41)
a fuck I’m doing it again
Fish Guy (21:41)
me and my friends know what to say to each other
Fish Guy (21:41)
but other people obvs do not always see our train of thought
Fish Guy (21:42)
full disclosure: I am not sexually attracted to fish, just people
Fish Guy (21:42)
no shade no kinkshame to people who might be into fish but I am not one of them
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:42)
My evening truly took an unexpected turn
Fish Guy (21:42)
aaaaah sorry!!!
Fish Guy (21:42)
I’ll shut up now dw
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:42)
I don’t mind
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:43)
It’s a nice distraction. Otherwise my evening would’ve been dreadfully boring
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:43)
I am visiting my parents for a couple of days and it’s lovely, but I will be going back home on Thursday and I can’t wait
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:44)
Although it’s great not having to cook
Fish Guy (21:45)
glad to hear I could bring some amusement
Fish Guy (21:45)
my name is Simon btw
Fish Guy (21:45)
to maybe make this less anonymous/weird
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:46)
My name is Baz
Simon🐟 (21:46)
baz
Simon🐟 (21:46)
your name is baz
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:47)
You can laugh
Simon🐟 (21:47)
im not altho I do wonder where that name comes from
Simon🐟 (21:47)
can’t say I’ve met a baz before
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:47)
It’s short for Tyrannus Basilton
Simon🐟 (21:47)
okay now I am laughing
Simon🐟 (21:48)
are you from some kind of posh family???
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:48)
What gives it away lol
Simon🐟 (21:48)
oh so you CAN lol
Simon🐟 (21:48)
no worries I am too
Simon🐟 (21:49)
fancy hyphenated name and everything
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:49)
Ha! Same.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:49)
I'm carrying on my mother's name
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:50)
As it should be.
Simon🐟 (21:50)
oh mine is a bit more complicated
Simon🐟 (21:51)
I had a second name in care and when I found my mum’s family I added hers
Simon🐟 (21:51)
it leads to a nice alliteration
Simon🐟 (21:51)
alliteration
Simon🐟 (21:52)
I bet you like big words like that
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:53)
I study linguistics, so yes, I do.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:53)
Are you a student?
Simon🐟 (21:53)
nah
Simon🐟 (21:53)
tried it but it wasn’t for me
Simon🐟 (21:54)
which is fun cause my friends are now all graduating uni and being thrown in the working world and ive been there for a while
Simon🐟 (21:54)
altho my best friend might do another master’s degree
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:54)
Makes sense
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:55)
This is also my second master’s degree
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:55)
Now you have to excuse me, my stepmother is asking for me
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:56)
Good night
Simon🐟 (21:57)
bye!
📱📱📱
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Mon 28th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:05)
penny you’d like him
Penelope Bunce (23:05)
Who?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:05)
baz
Penelope Bunce (23:06)
Who?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:06)
the guy from the dms
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:06)
he replied after all and we spent the last 20 mins or so talking
Shepard Bunce (23:06)
ohhh so that is why you suddenly disappeared from the gc
Shepard Bunce (23:06)
it’s okay
Shepard Bunce (23:07)
Penny and I are big people we can amuse ourselves
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:07)
pls
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:07)
but yeah we exchanged names and he already knows what I look like
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:07)
in a questionable position
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:08)
he looks cool too
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:08)
based on his pfp I mean
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:08)
I mean I think he’s a guy
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:12)
shit should I have asked pronouns and shit? i just assmumed
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:13)
im still bad with meeting people
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:14)
traumatic childhood yada yada
Penelope Bunce (23:14)
If it makes you feel secure/comfortable, you can always ask!
Penelope Bunce (23:15)
Weird way to meet someone, but good to hear it works out
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:15)
like yeah how the fuck did I not rea;ise it was the wrong person
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:15)
this is on you shep you HAD to change to a British number
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:15)
in my defense I did it in auto pilot so I didn’t even think to check name or pfp or chat history
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:16)
I was just so excited about the fish
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:16)
that sound wrong
Shepard Bunce (23:16)
if you don’t know the photo, it doesn’t
Shepard Bunce (23:16)
but we do know the photo
Shepard Bunce (23:16)
I took the photo
Penelope Bunce (23:17)
We can never show it to Pacey
Penelope Bunce (23:17)
He’ll never forgive us for what we did with his fish
Penelope Bunce (23:18)
Anyway
Penelope Bunce (23:18)
Simon do you want to talk to this Baz some more?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:20)
yeah
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:20)
I think I do
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:21)
dunno why but it was a lot of fun
Shepard Bunce (23:22)
then try to get to know them more
Baz
Tue 29th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:34)
I’m just gonna ask
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:34)
what are your pronouns
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:34)
I mean if we’re getting to know each other and all that
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:34)
cause I likec talking to you if that isn’t weird
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:34)
we’re technically strangers
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:35)
mine are he/him btw
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:35)
can’t believe I almost forgot to tell you
Baz (11:03)
Hello
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:03)
oh hi
Baz (11:04)
It’s he/him, thanks for asking
Baz (11:04)
Sorry I assumed yours
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:05)
issa fine I also assumed yours for a while
Baz (11:05)
Well for some reason, the long hair confuses people
Baz (11:05)
Long hair + love for fashion + gay = confusion, apparently
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:05)
the hair looks cool
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:06)
from your pfp
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:07)
I’m not a stalker I didn’t look up potential tyrannus basiltons
Baz (13:07)
You could. But you might find some of my relatives from ages ago.
Baz (13:08)
Yes it’s a family name
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:08)
I figured
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:08)
well Baz, nice to properly meet you
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:09)
you come here often?
Baz (13:09)
Really?
Baz (13:10)
That’s your icebreaker?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:10)
tbh idk what else to talk about
Baz (13:10)
Maybe tell me how you found a life sized inflatable fish
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:10)
oh
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:11)
well I didn’t get it. Like I said my best friend’s brother bought it
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:11)
dunno where he got it from tho
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:11)
probably a party shop
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:11)
but yeah we better win the price
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:12)
it was quite chilly lying naked on my back with only a fish to cover me
Baz (13:13)
I can offer you a huge inflatable unicorn for another photo
Baz (13:13)
Although I can’t say it’s life-sized
Baz (13:13)
But it is big
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:13)
well then guess it’s good to know we have a back-up
Baz (13:14)
I mean, I don’t want to assume you want to meet up
Baz (13:14)
We know each other’s names but that’s it
Baz (13:14)
I’ve only known you for a day
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:14)
oh it’s okay
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:15)
it is maybe a bit much
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:15)
I think penny would scorn me if I tell a total stranger where I live
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:15)
but we can keep talking
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:15)
glad to be a distraction
Baz (13:15)
Glad to have you as a distraction
Baz (13:15)
Only a few more days and I’ll be free!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:16)
is it really that bad?
Baz (13:16)
Well I do have the tendency to be dramatic
Baz (13:16)
And I love my sisters
Baz (13:16)
It’s just the homophobia
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:16)
oof
Baz (13:16)
And the constant disapproval of my academic career path
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:16)
is linguistics not fancy enough?
Baz (13:18)
Oh one might say it is too fancy
Baz (13:18)
My father’s a farmer
Baz (13:18)
And nothing against farming, but I am just too pretty to take over the work
Baz (13:18)
That’s a joke
Baz (13:19)
Partially
Baz (13:19)
I am pretty, but farming isn’t my passion. My sister also doesn’t seem interested, so my father’s hopes are pinned on the twins and the youngest.
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:19)
oh I love farms
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:19)
I love petting animals
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:20)
my ex is a goatherd
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:20)
she and her gf are taking care of a huge flock and I love them all
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:25)
[ID: photo of Simon holding a baby goat wearing a knit sweater]
Baz (13:25)
Adorable! This is a much better photo of you than the fish one
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:25)
yeah lol the fish one was a mistake
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:26)
let’s move past the fish
Baz (13:26)
Too late. I have your contact saved as Simon🐟
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:27)
rude
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:28)
tell me sth embarrassing about yourself so that I can also add an emoji that will foralways remind you of a cringe moment
Baz (13:28)
Uh…
Baz (13:30)
Let me consult my friends
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:30)
lol
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Tue 29th of November 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:28)
When did I absolutely embarrass myself?
Niall Kelly (13:28)
Oh wow
Niall Kelly (13:28)
You sure you’re ready for this?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:29)
I’m asking, am I not?
Dev Grimm (13:29)
Why?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:29)
Simon, the fish guy, is asking
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:30)
[ID: screenshot of last messages between Baz and Simon🐟]
Niall Kelly (13:30)
Woah
Niall Kelly (13:30)
Simon, huh?
Dev Grimm (13:30)
Am I seeing banter? Is Baz capable of banter?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:30)
Fuck off I can banter
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:30)
What is this?
Dev Grimm (13:31)
😘
Dev Grimm (13:31)
What do YOU think is an embarrassing moment?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:31)
Is it bad that the first thing I think of is that time I gave a wrong answer during English class?
Niall Kelly (13:32)
Dude
Dev Grimm (13:32)
…
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:32)
Look in my defence it was taught my Mr. Minos it was embarrassing
Dev Grimm (13:33)
…
Dev Grimm (13:33)
ANWAY time to spill the real tea
Niall Kelly (13:34)
How about the time you pissed your pants after Dev scared you during summer camp?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:34)
Okay, maybe something less embarrassing
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:34)
Something shareable
Dev Grimm (13:34)
I mean, he almost send you nudes
Dev Grimm (13:35)
If it hadn’t been for that fish placement
Niall Kelly (13:35)
Stop being so obsessed with a stranger’s private parts Dev
Dev Grimm (13:35)
what about the time you got drunk, climbed a church building, and made out with a gargoyle?
Dev Grimm (13:35)
If he can fuck a fish, you can snog a gargoyle
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:36)
Sigh
Niall Kelly (13:36)
Or that time you fell into a river
Niall Kelly (13:36)
Sober
Niall Kelly (13:36)
You just fell
Dev Grimm (13:37)
oh yeah lmao that was amazing
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:37)
One of my favourite shirts got ruined that day
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:37)
I cannot relive that I will not share it
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:38)
Wait, I got something
Simon 🐟
Tue 29th of November 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:40)
I once almost choked on an eggplant?
Simon🐟 (13:40)
…
Simon🐟 (13:40)
that’s nowhere near as embarrassing as the fish situation
Simon🐟 (13:40)
but alas it will have to do
Simon🐟 (13:42)
[ID: screenshot of Baz’s name on top of the screen, written as “Baz🍆”]
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:42)
Oh god no, this looks very bad out of context
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:42)
Can I still trade it for another situation?
Simon🐟 (13:42)
no <3
Simon🐟 (13:42)
anyway I gtg
Simon🐟 (13:43)
have fun with your family 😘
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:43)
I will
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Tue 29th of November 2022
Niall Kelly (16:35)
But… are we going to talk about this Simon?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:35)
What’s there to say?
Niall Kelly (16:35)
Are you still talking?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:35)
No, he had to go
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:35)
Same goes for me
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:36)
I am not enjoying the scenery of this boat trip, since I am on my phone
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:36)
Daphne has already let out some disappointed sighs
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:36)
So, I should go too
Niall Kelly (16:37)
Aight cool
Niall Kelly (16:37)
But this is free real estate for me and @Suavy Devvy to discuss this
Dev Grimm (16:37)
I still think you should change my name in your phone
Dev Grimm (16:37)
But you’re right
Niall Kelly (16:38)
oh shut up do you want me to be like @Snazzy Bazzy?
Niall Kelly (16:38)
Who adds every contact with full name
Niall Kelly (16:38)
Even for his own number
Dev Grimm (16:39)
Honestly it is kinda big that Simon is probably the first person to get a custom name
Dev Grimm (16:39)
I’m pretty certain his parents aren’t even listed as ‘stepmother’ or ‘father’, but as Daphne Grimm and Malcolm Grimm
Dev Grimm (16:39)
Heck, I think even Swithin is saved as Swithin Grimm
Dev Grimm (16:40)
Still can’t believe kids these days have smartphones
Niall Kelly (16:40)
So yeah, Simon is a special boi
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:41)
I am just talking to some guy. Don’t make a big deal about it
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:42)
He’s a nice distraction in these trying times (being at my parents’ home)
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:42)
And even the name thing isn’t that deep. Phones these days automatically save full names. It is efficient!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:42)
Although not everyone’s name will be saved like that due to different settings.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:42)
If his contact did do that, I’d also have his full name.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:42)
Really it is not that deep
Dev Grimm (16:43)
o shit he’s still here abort the mission Niall!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:44)
Can’t I make a friend without having to discuss it with you two?
Niall Kelly (16:45)
We’re a package deal, Baz, we don’t come separate
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:48)
You guys basically turned me into a third wheel (affectionate) when you started dating
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:48)
But I really have to go now. I am afraid Daphne will throw my phone in the water
Niall Kelly (16:50)
Well, you are a snob
Niall Kelly (16:50)
So is Dev
Dev Grimm (16:51)
bro
Niall Kelly (16:51)
And I don’t want to bad mouth you but I never saw you as the guy who strikes up a convo with every random person you meet
Niall Kelly (16:52)
Especially in these circumstances
Niall Kelly (16:52)
Don’t get me wrong I am thrilled you’re making friends
Niall Kelly (16:52)
You’re too lonely, Baz
Niall Kelly (16:52)
Especially now that Dev and I moved to Manchester
Dev Grimm (16:54)
Shit’s getting real
Niall Kelly (16:55)
But usually you’d send us a screenshot, make an off-hand comment, and let it be
Niall Kelly (16:55)
What makes him different?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:43)
I’ll let you know when I find out
📱📱📱
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Wed 30th of November 2022
Shepard Bunce (9:30)
[ID: photo of Simon in a supermarket, holding up a huge eggplant]
Shepard Bunce (9:30)
this one good?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:30)
ye
Penelope Bunce (9:31)
You don’t have to let us review every photo you send
Penelope Bunce (9:31)
The fish thing was a one-time thing
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:32)
no it’s not that penny
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:32)
I just want the photo to be good ya know?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:32)
luckily the mask hides this huge spot on my chin lmao
Penelope Bunce (9:33)
Interesting
Penelope Bunce (9:34)
And why again are we sending Baz a photo of you and an eggplant?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:34)
that’s between us pen
Shepard Bunce (9:35)
💦💦💦
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:36)
no not like that!!!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:36)
oh GOD
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:36)
he choked on an eggplant once that’s the whole story
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:36)
and this one is hugr
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:36)
oh god it does sound bad
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:36)
should I even send this?
Penelope Bunce (9:37)
If it’s an inside joke, he’ll get it
Baz🍆
Wed 30th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:30)
[ID: photo of Simon in a supermarket, holding up a huge eggplant]
Baz🍆 (17:31)
……
Baz🍆 (17:31)
Where did you even find one that big?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:37)
Sainsbury’s apparently
Baz🍆 (17:37)
It’s as if the universe is playing a trick on me
Baz🍆 (17:40)
[ID: photo of Baz, seated at a table in a restaurant, holding up a fork with eggplant]
Baz🍆 (17:40)
God, even this mauve turtleneck fits the entire aesthetic
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:40)
it looks good on you
Baz🍆 (17:41)
Hah, this is a casual look
Baz🍆 (17:41)
I’m not dressing up for my family
Baz🍆 (17:41)
My parents are going all out, since I am going home tomorrow morning
Baz🍆 (17:41)
Despite all my complaining… it is nice
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:42)
what time are you going home tomorrow?
Baz🍆 (17:42)
I’m taking the morning train
Baz🍆 (17:43)
So I’ll be back in London in time to do groceries
Baz🍆 (17:43)
After all, that is the downside of independence. Adulthood is just a continuous stream of doing groceries.
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:45)
ah a fellow Londoner
Baz🍆 (17:45)
I am not doing great with this anonymity thing
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:47)
I am the person who sent you a photo of myself without doublechecking shit
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:47)
are you interested in the final product
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:47)
with the hats and all
Baz🍆 (17:48)
Honestly? Yes
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:50)
cool I’ll send it to ypo once shep’s done with it
Shepard Bunce
Wed 30th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:51)
how’s the card going?
Shepard Bunce (17:51)
tbh I haven’t looked at it in a while
Shepard Bunce (17:51)
why?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:52)
baz would like to see the finished product
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:52)
so with Christmas hats and all
Shepard Bunce (17:52)
oh damn he is asking for a photo of you getting railed by a fish now?
Shepard Bunce (17:53)
don’t say any more I’m on it
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:53)
sigh
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:53)
the whole getting railed by a fish thing is getting old shep, we need something better
Shepard Bunce (17:54)
well, to quote my favourite musical: you wanted to fuck a fish
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:54)
I DID NOT WANT TO FUCK A FISH
Shepard Bunce (17:54)
thank you, that’s also part of the quote
Shepard Bunce (17:55)
I keep telling you to watch Twisted with me and Pen
Baz🍆
Wed 30th of November 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:00)
[ID: the same photo of Simon, lying naked on his back, with a life-sized fish on top of him. Now, Simon and the fish are both wearing Christmas hats and Simon’s even wearing a Santa beard. Christmas lights have been added in the background]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:00)
your wish is my command
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:00)
shep went all out and added some extra festive stuff
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:00)
I love him for that
Baz🍆 (20:09)
This is weirdly wholesome
Baz🍆 (20:09)
Thank you, I will put it on my fridge
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:10)
wait really
Baz🍆 (20:10)
No
Baz🍆 (20:11)
Unless you want me to
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:11)
lol
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:12)
wouldn’t that be a bit too weird?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (20:12)
especially since you didn’t send me a card
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Wed 30th of November 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:02)
[ID: photo of Baz in front of the extravagant Christmas tree in the Grimm house. He’s holding a glass of wine and he looks extremely grumpy, because he’s wearing a headband with cat ears]
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:02)
Thoughts?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:02)
I made this in a few minutes so the quality isn’t amazing
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:03)
Mordelia gave me this headband as an early gift
Niall Kelly (21:05)
You look perfect as a grumpy cat, Bazzy
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:09)
[ID: same photo, now with the added text that reads ‘Happy holidays from a reluctant older brother’]
Niall Kelly (21:10)
Still great
Niall Kelly (21:10)
Although I don’t think Mordelia will appreciate the outright reluctance of the entire thing
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:10)
It’s not for her
Niall Kelly (21:10)
Oh?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:10)
It’s for Simon
Niall Kelly (21:11)
OH?
Dev Grimm (21:14)
wait what did I miss?
Niall Kelly (21:14)
scroll up
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:14)
Forwarded message
[ID: the finished Christmas card of Simon and the fish]
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:14)
He sent me a card. It’s only polite to send one back.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:14)
Although mine isn’t nearly as chaotic as his
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:14)
But really guys, would you like to receive a card like that or is it too lame?
Dev Grimm (21:15)
Well, wh yaren’t we receiving a card like that?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:15)
You guys didn’t send me a card! Simon did!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:15)
By accident, but alas
Niall Kelly (21:15)
The card is nice. I said it before.
Niall Kelly (21:16)
So nice that I would like to have it as well.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:16)
Technically you two already got it so stop complaining
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:16)
After all I am sending this over WhatsApp
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:16)
I do know that Simon lives in London but no way in hell that I am asking his address. That’s a bit too much.
Dev Grimm (21:17)
True
Dev Grimm (21:17)
Although you are already pretty close
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:18)
Sssssh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:18)
For now, at least
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:19)
This is just a funny moment in my life. To pass the time. Tomorrow I go home and life restarts and that’ll probably be the end of it and then Simon will be a fun anecdote that I can talk about
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:23)
Huh
Niall Kelly (21:23)
Hm?
Dev Grimm (21:25)
???
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:04)
Never mind
Simon🐟
Wed 30th of November 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:10)
[ID: the Christmas card that he made for this moment]
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:10)
Here you go
Simon🐟 (22:10)
ty!!!
Simon🐟 (22:11)
watch me print this out
Simon🐟 (22:11)
I wasn’t bullshitting
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:11)
Well the work of today has been done
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:11)
Glad that it amuses you
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:12)
Now I will go the fok to sleep since I have a train to catch tomorrow
Simon🐟 (22:15)
good night!!
Thu 1st of December 2022
Simon🐟 (15:12)
uh
Simon🐟 (15:12)
I don’t wanna sound like a dtalker or a creep
Simon🐟 (15:13)
but are you at a starbucks in Chelsea?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:13)
What if I am?
Simon🐟 (15:13)
omg
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:13)
Are you here too?
Simon🐟 (15:13)
im in line to get a drink
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:13)
… I think I see you
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:13)
How did you even see me?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:13)
I’m seated all the way in the back
Simon🐟 (15:13)
you’re wearinf the same turtleneck as before
Simon🐟 (15:14)
it left an impression on me okay
Simon🐟 (15:14)
holy shit it is you isn’t it
Simon🐟 (15:14)
it’s really you who just waved at me
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:14)
It is polite to wave back
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:14)
But yes, holy shit, what are the odds?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:14)
I know we’re both Londoners but London is huge
Simon🐟 (15:14)
save a seat for me will you?
Simon🐟 (15:14)
I mean if you want to
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:14)
Will do!
📱📱📱
Penelope Bunce
Thu 1st of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (16:08)
Where are you?
Penelope Bunce (16:08)
Shep’s going mad over here
Penelope Bunce (16:08)
He’s finally making you watch Twisted and you’re late!!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:10)
ah fuck
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:10)
sorry pen
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:10)
I lost track of the time
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:10)
im in Chelsea it will rake a while for me to get there
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:10)
we can reschedule
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:10)
sorry
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:11)
tell sjep I am sorry
Penelope Bunce (16:11)
Why are you still in Chelsea?
Penelope Bunce (16:11)
Don’t tell me you’re doing overtime
Penelope Bunce (16:11)
I know your boss is cool and what not but I hope you at least get paid for it
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:12)
im no t at work
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:12)
im at starbucks
Penelope Bunce (16:12)
????
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:12)
I was gonna get a psl and head to camberwell but you would not believe what happened to me
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:13)
I ran into baz
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:13)
baz from the dms
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:13)
baz who saw me getting railed by a fish
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:14)
o shit gtg pen he’s coming back with the coffee
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:14)
I love you
Penelope Bunce (16:15)
?????
Baz 🍆
Thu 1st of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:00)
got home safely!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:00)
and now rushing to cross the roadl
Baz🍆 (17:03)
Good for you. I’m also home.
Baz🍆 (17:03)
It was nice to see you
Baz🍆 (17:03)
Meet you
Baz🍆 (17:03)
Properly
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:05)
same
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:06)
to see you in the flesh yada yada
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:06)
you’re much taller than I expected you to be
Baz🍆 (17:06)
Same can be said for you
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:06)
imagine how long that fish was then
Baz🍆 (17:06)
Now that we’ve met, will I ever meet your soulmate?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:06)
what
Baz🍆 (17:07)
The fish
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:07)
OH
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:07)
idk we brought it back to premal
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:07)
pacey
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:07)
I mean pacey. Penny has so many siblings
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:07)
but I really gotta go now my friends are waiting for me
Baz🍆 (17:08)
Oh shit, did I hold you up?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:14)
yeah lol but it’s fine I told them
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:15)
bye bye!
Baz🍆 (17:20)
Bye for now
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Thu 1st of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:13)
[ID: a selfie of Simon and Baz. Baz is wearing his purple turtleneck underneath a dark peacoat. Simon is wearing a well-worn green hoodie with the text Watford ’15 underneath a denim jacket.]
Niall Kelly (19:15)
EXCUSE ME
Niall Kelly (19:15)
IS THAT FISH GUY SIMON
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:15)
Oh so you do recognise him.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:15)
So far you’ve only seen the photo where he got railed by a fish.
Dev Grimm (19:15)
what
Niall Kelly (19:16)
Look I said it before and I will definitely say it again but Fish Guy Simon looks good okay
Niall Kelly (19:16)
He left an impression
Dev Grimm (19:18)
Oh my, should I be jealous?
Niall Kelly (19:18)
I have two hands
Dev Grimm (19:19)
Hm. I mean he is indeed hot.
Niall Kelly (19:19)
You also have two hands, Dev
Dev Grimm (19:19)
Yes, but I am using both of them to hold you
Niall Kelly (19:19)
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:20)
Guys
Niall Kelly (19:20)
What Bazzy? Jealous of us making moves on your boy
Dev Grimm (19:20)
I am not making moves!!!
Dev Grimm (19:20)
But yeah if I didn’t have Niall, I’d make moves on your boy
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:20)
He’s not my boy
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:20)
He’s my new friend
Dev Grimm (19:20)
You’re officially friends, huh?
Dev Grimm (19:21)
He’s no longer a distraction?
Dev Grimm (19:21)
👀
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:21)
Look I thought that was going to be it
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:22)
Since we didn’t “actually know each other”
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:22)
But now we do
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:22)
So he’s no longer a distraction
Dev Grimm (19:22)
Hang on Bazzy
Dev Grimm (19:22)
We’re about to call you and you better pick up
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:22)
???
Baz Grimm-Pitch (20:17)
Thanks guys
Simon 🐟
Fri 2nd of December 2022
Simon🐟 (8:30)
do you have plans today?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:00)
Good morning
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:00)
I do actually
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:01)
My two best friends are in town and I haven’t seen them in a while, so we’re meeting up
Simon🐟 (9:01)
ah
Simon🐟 (9:01)
makes sense
Simon🐟 (9:01)
go forth and be with your besties
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:01)
I’ll tell them you called them my besties
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:01)
They’d like that
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:05)
But you were asking something?
Simon🐟 (9:08)
oh yeah
Simon🐟 (9:08)
I mean nvm
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:08)
Please
Simon🐟 (9:09)
okay remember my besties? The ones who are partly responsible for the fish?
Simon🐟 (9:09)
the ones I almost ditched yesterday??
Simon🐟 (9:09)
oop
Simon🐟 (9:09)
anyway
Simon🐟 (9:09)
I went to their place, albeit a bit late, and I talked about how I met you at a random starbucks etc and now my friend wants to see you irl
Simon🐟 (9:10)
the one who is doing anoyher master
Simon🐟 (9:10)
like they know you’re real
Simon🐟 (9:10)
shep’s gonna print your Christmas card on fancy photo paper for me so that I can put it on my fridge
Simon🐟 (9:10)
but I suppose penny’s protectiveness kicked in so
Simon🐟 (9:11)
so
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:13)
An academic AND a loyal friend?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:13)
Consider me charmed
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:30)
I am too busy today but let me check my weekend plans
Simon🐟 (9:35)
yay!!!
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Fri 2nd of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:35)
I have an update
Niall Kelly (9:35)
About what?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:35)
Are you texting while driving?
Niall Kelly (9:35)
No Dev is driving I’m texting
Niall Kelly (9:35)
Dev says hi btw
Niall Kelly (9:35)
Besides you messaged US
Niall Kelly (9:36)
We’ll be in London in an hour or so
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:36)
It’s about Simon
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:36)
He wants to hang out again
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:36)
He wants me to meet his friends
Niall Kelly (9:37)
Damn
Niall Kelly (9:37)
Dev also says damn
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:37)
I told him I’d be busy today
Niall Kelly (9:37)
We’re honoured you’re blowing him off for us
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:38)
But how would you two feel about hanging out with him and his friends tomorrow?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:38)
Two birds one stone kinda thing, you know?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:39)
Like after our call yesterday you two made it pretty clear you’re happy for me and this newfound friendship
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:39)
If this is gonna be a thing, it’d be nice for you to meet him too, right?
Niall Kelly (9:40)
Yeah definitely
Niall Kelly (9:40)
Look… Dev needs me for navigation purposes but we’ll talk about it later yeah?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:40)
Sure
Niall Kelly (10:31)
Open your fucking door we’re here!!!
Simon 🐟
Fri 2nd of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:56)
I have a proposal
Simon🐟 (15:56)
oh??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:56)
My friends will be here for a visit
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:56)
How about a small gathering of sorts?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:57)
All of us, I mean
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:57)
You me and our friends
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:57)
Because my “besties” have also become curious
Simon🐟 (15:17)
like a party?!!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:58)
Yes, I suppose
Baz Grimm-Pitch (15:58)
Very last minute, I know
Simon🐟 (15:58)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Simon🐟 (15:58)
then you can see your Christmas card on my fridge
Simon🐟 (15:59)
I mean if I host
Simon🐟 (15:59)
I can host
Simon🐟 (15:59)
wait can you send me the numbers of your friends, let me make a groupschat!
A very, very, very belated housewarming party 💃💃
Fri 2nd of December 2022
Simon🐟 (16:01)
hello!!!
Simon🐟 (16:01)
party time!
+44 7375 698182 (16:01)
party time???
+44 7700 181597 (16:02)
Huh?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:02)
Hello everyone
Simon🐟 (16:02)
@Penelope Bunce @Shepard Bunce yea oop
Simon🐟 (16:03)
I should’ve called to explain but I got a bit too excited
Simon🐟 (16:04)
last minute party tomorrow at 7PM at my flat
Niall Kelly (16:04)
Dev Grimm (16:05)
Luckily our friend did inform us
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:05)
It’s not that hard you’re literally sitting next to me
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:05)
If you had not known, then it would’ve been your own fault
Niall Kelly (16:05)
Hello everyone I am Niall
+44 7375 698182 (16:05)
new people!!!
+44 7375 698182 (16:05)
I am Shepard, best known as the guy who took the questionable photo of Simon that started it all
Niall Kelly (16:05)
Legend
+44 7700 181597 (16:06)
Simon can we get back to you on this?
+44 7700 181597 (16:06)
We’re having lunch with my parents tomorrow but I think we’ll make it
Simon🐟 (16:07)
yeah it’s at 7PM
Shepard (16:07)
oh we’ll be there right penelove?
Pen (Penelove?) (16:07)
Oh yeah I think we’ll be able to make it
Pen (Penelove?) (16:07)
It’d be nice for Simon to finally throw a housewarming
Simon🐟 (16:08)
shut up I’ve only lived there for 3 months it’s not that long
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:10)
Oh?
Shepard (16:10)
he used to live with us but then pen and I got married and he decided to give us space
Simon🐟 (16:10)
it was a difficult decision but I pulled through 😔✊
Pen (Penelove?) (16:11)
Simon you live across the road
Simon🐟 (16:11)
IT WAS TOUGH
Simon🐟 (16:11)
ah fuck should I also invite agga and Niamh if this is gonna be an actual housewarming??
Simon🐟 (16:11)
If that’s okay with you @Baz🍆 @Niall Kelly @Dev Grimm?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:13)
Why not
Dev Grimm (16:13)
Sure
Niall Kelly (16:13)
The more the merrier
Niall Kelly (16:13)
Let’s get lit!!! 🔥🔥🔥
Niall Kelly (16:14)
Simon I cannot wait for you to see Baz as a sloppy drunk
Baz Grimm-Pitch (16:14)
EXCUSE ME?
Simon🐟 added +44 7700 172124
+44 7700 172124 (16:16)
What?
Simon🐟 (16:16)
Hi agga!
Agga (?) (16:16)
Hello?
Simon🐟 added +44 7911 838877
+44 7911 838877 (16:16)
Um
Simon🐟 (16:17)
hi Niamh!
Simon🐟 (16:17)
I’m throwing a party tomorrow!!!
Simon🐟 (16:17)
you two need to be there
Simon🐟 (16:18)
these are my new friends baz niall and dev
Niamh (16:18)
Sure
Agga (?) (16:19)
Oh my
Simon🐟 (16:19)
look okay lemme call you all for the details
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Sat 3rd of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:15)
Niall come back we need to leave soon
Niall Kelly (18:15)
I’m almost done!!
Niall Kelly (18:16)
Getting some last minute alcohol
Niall Kelly (18:16)
This is on us for doing a grocery store run last minute but also the Mario Kart was worth it
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:16)
It admittedly was
Dev Grimm (18:17)
Get the good stuff, darling
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:17)
Whatever
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:17)
I am not drinking much so don’t spend it on silly old me
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:17)
We have plans tomorrow so I’d appreciate if the three of us aren’t going to be trollied
📱📱📱
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Sat 3rd of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (18:50)
We’re coming over now!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:50)
cool
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:50)
ags and Niamh are already here
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:51)
shep did you bring the thing we talked about this morning?
Shepard Bunce (18:51)
Of cours e I did man, who do you think I am??
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:53)
just checking
A very, very, very belated housewarming party 💃💃
Sun 4th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (02:46)
everyone drop ur pics here!!!
Penelope Bunce (02:46)
[ID: photo of Simon and Shepard posing with the fish]
Shepard Bunce (02:47)
[ID: photo of Baz being surprised when he sees his Christmas card on Simon’s fridge]
Shepard Bunce (02:47)
[ID: photo of Baz who looks even more surprised when Simon hands him a physical copy of Shepard and Simon’s Christmas card]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (02:47)
[ID: photo of Agatha flipping off the camera while kissing Niamh]
Dev Grimm (02:47)
[ID: photo of Penny looking exhausted when Niall and Shepard take shots of each other’s bodies]
Niall Kelly (02:48)
[ID: photo of Baz, dancing around]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (02:48)
[ID: photo of Baz and Penelope, talking about something serious]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (02:48)
itold y ‘all tha t they’d be great friends
Penelope Bunce (02:48)
He is indeed nice to talk to
Penelope Bunce (02:48)
Finally someone who appreciates academics like I do
Baz🍆 (02:48)
😘
Niall Kelly (02:48)
[ID: a selfie of Dev and Niall]
Niamh Brody (02:50)
[ID: a photo of Agatha and Simon, talking in the badly lit kitchen]
Dev Grimm (02:51)
[ID: a photo of Dev, Niall and Baz, posing in a ridiculous way]
Dev Grimm (02:51)
[ID: another photo of Dev, Niall and Baz, posing in a ridiculous way]
Dev Grimm (02:51)
[ID: and another photo of Dev, Niall and Baz, posing in a ridiculous way]
Dev Grimm (02:51)
[ID: and yet another photo of Dev, Niall and Baz, posing in a ridiculous way]
Baz🍆 (02:51)
Sorry for the photoshoot!
Niamh Brody (02:53)
[ID: photo of Agatha and Baz, laughing]
Agatha Wellbelove (03:04)
[ID: photo of Simon leaning against Baz]
Agatha Wellbelove (03:15)
We got home safely btw!!!
Baz🍆 (03:20)
So did we
Shepard Bunce (03:21)
We also crossed the roas safelt!!
Penelope Bunce
Sun 4th of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (9:30)
Good morning, darling
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:31)
fuck
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:31)
sjoiudlvé pit my phoneo n ilent
Penelope Bunce (9:31)
Woah those are extreme typos Si
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:31)
im not shep im simon
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:31)
oh wait nvm you know
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:31)
the darling threw e off-gusrd
Penelope Bunce (9:32)
Shep is asleep next to me so even if he were awake I wouldn’t have to text him
Penelope Bunce (9:32)
I was going to ask if you want to talk about what you told me last night but maybe I should wait for you to sober up
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:33)
????
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:33)
pen
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:33)
what do you mean
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:33)
what did I say???
Penelope Bunce (9:34)
You don’t remember?
Penelope Bunce (9:34)
About Baz?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:35)
??????????
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:35)
no
Penelope Bunce (9:35)
Oh.
Simon Snow-Salisbury (9:35)
>??????? Pen??????????
Penelope Bunce (9:36)
Go sleep it off, Simon. I’ll come over later.
Baz🍆
Sun 4th of December 2022
Baz🍆 (11:00)
I think Niall finally came around
Baz🍆 (11:00)
He wants you to know that last night was, and I quote, a rager
Baz🍆 (11:00)
I don’t even know what that means
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:30)
lol
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:30)
penny’s here rn so ttyl?
Baz🍆 (11:34)
Sure
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Sun 4th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (11:46)
Did you already tell Simon that last night was a rager?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:46)
Yes
Niall Kelly (11:46)
And what did he say????
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:46)
“lol”
Dev Grimm (11:46)
Sounds about right
Dev Grimm (11:46)
I’ve only known this guy for less than 24 hours and yes, that is something he’d say
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:47)
When will you guys be back?
Niall Kelly (11:47)
[ID: photo of a queue at Pret-A-Manger]
Niall Kelly (11:47)
this will take a while 😓
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:47)
I kind of want to talk to you both
Dev Grimm (11:47)
Then you should’ve come along 😌
Dev Grimm (11:47)
instead of sleeping in
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:47)
You know I cannot hold my liquor
Dev Grimm (11:47)
You didn’t even drin k that much
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:48)
Again
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:48)
I cannot hold my liquor
Dev Grimm (11:48)
Yeah no shit
Dev Grimm (11:48)
Although you were nowhere as shitfaced as your fishy boi
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:49)
That’s what I want to talk about
Dev Grimm (11:49)
Simom being shitfaced???
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:49)
No
Baz Grimm-Pitch (11:49)
Just Simon
Niall Kelly (11:49)
fuck these sandwiches we’re coming back now
📱📱📱
Penelope Bunce
Sun 4th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:21)
pen?
Penelope Bunce (14:21)
yes?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:21)
thanks
Penelope Bunce (14:21)
Always
Baz🍆
Sun 4th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:21)
Tell Niall that it was nice to meet him
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:21)
and Dev
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:21)
wati
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:22)
I can do that mysrlf lol
A very, very, very belated housewarming party 💃💃
Sun 4th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:22)
Dev Biall it was really nice to meet you
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:22)
*niall
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:22)
I’d love o t meet Biall too 🤡
Shepard Bunce (14:22)
Biall? Baz + Niall???
Dev Grimm (14:22)
ugh
Dev Grimm (14:23)
Don’t remind me
Niall Kelly (14:23)
babe it was in the past
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:23)
wait what
Niall Kelly (14:23)
It was also nice to meet you @Shepard Bunce @Agatha Wellbelove @Niamh Brody @Penelope Bunce
Agatha Wellbelove (14:23)
It was fun 💋💋💋
Shepard Bunce (14:23)
We should do this again
Shepard Bunce (14:23)
When are you guys leaving Dev and Niall???
Shepard Bunce (14:23)
DeNiall
Shepard Bunce (14:23)
lol
Niall Kelly (14:24)
It was
Niall Kelly (14:24)
We’re driving back to Manchester tomorrow evening so idk
Dev Grimm (14:24)
yeah Bazzy has a plan for today and tomorrow
Penelope Bunce (14:24)
That’s fine
Penelope Bunce (14:25)
You guys haven’t seen each other in a long time, don’t let us hijack your visit
Baz🍆
Sun 4th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:25)
I hope you and your friends have a lor of fun
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:25)
do they come to London often???
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:25)
[ID: photo of Shepard and Penelope walking with the fish between them]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:25)
were bringing it back to pacey
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:26)
thre goes my soulmate
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:26)
till we meet again fishy
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:26)
maybe next Christmas for a new photo
Simon Snow-Salisbury (15:59)
Baz??
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:06)
Baz
Baz🍆 (16:24)
God sorry I’ve been super busy today
Simon Snow-Salisbury (16:31)
no worries!!!
Baz🍆 (16:32)
Talk to you tomorrow?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:00)
Sure
📱📱📱
Niall Kelly
Mon 5th of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:12)
Are you still awake?
Niall Kelly (0:12)
yea
Niall Kelly (0:12)
Dev isn’t tho so if you need him do I wake him??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:13)
I texted you alone
Niall Kelly (0:13)
true
Niall Kelly (0:13)
what’s uo?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:13)
Just… about today
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:13)
What do I do now?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:13)
I feel like you’d give me a more decent answer
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:13)
Dev just loves to piss around
Niall Kelly (0:13)
Do not underestimate him he is a romantic
Niall Kelly (0:13)
I’d know
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:13)
Hmmmm
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:13)
Maybe I am still kinda annoyed at him for dropping our history in the new groupschat
Niall Kelly (0:13)
You can hardly call it a history
Niall Kelly (0:14)
It was just one kiss
Niall Kelly (0:14)
How did it enu up like this
Niall Kelly (0:14)
How did it end up like this
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:14)
I know
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:14)
But Simon doesn’t
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:14)
And I don’t know fi I should bring it up
Niall Kelly (0:14)
I don’t think it’s relevant
Niall Kelly (0:14)
what do YOU want, Bazzy?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:14)
Him
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:14)
I thought we’d established that today
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:15)
Or even before today
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:15)
All our phone calls about him. All our talks about him. They weren’t for nothing
Niall Kelly (0:15)
true
Niall Kelly (0:15)
But as we said… what are you going to do about it?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:15)
I don’t even know if he likes guys
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
He once said he is sexually attracted to people, not fish
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
People
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
Not girls or women
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
I mean Agatha is his ex, but as Agatha said there is nothing between them anymore
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
They’re just great friends
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
Very lesbian of them
Niall Kelly (0:16)
Is Simon a lesbian?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
Niall
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:16)
Take it seriously
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:17)
And he once said something like “I love Shepard” but now that we have seen Shep and Penelope we know that it’s just platonic between Simon and Shep
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:17)
So it says nothing
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:17)
This is a lot
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:17)
Fuck
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:17)
Maybe I need Dev’s ridiculousness after all
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:17)
Wake him up
Niall Kelly (0:17)
no!!
Niall Kelly (0:17)
I was only joking
Niall Kelly (0:17)
God
Niall Kelly (0:17)
Wait
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:17)
??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:18)
Did you just knock on my door?
Niall Kelly (0:18)
no it’s a burglar
Niall Kelly (0:18)
Of course it’s me
Niall Kelly (0:18)
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Mon 5th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (13:12)
We need to talk
Penelope Bunce (13:12)
I think we do
Shepard my love (13:12)
What is going on??
Shepard my love (13:12)
penelove? What is this?
Niall Kelly (13:13)
Look I don’t have long
Niall Kelly (13:13)
Baz and Dev are getting the tickets and drinks
Niall Kelly (13:13)
But I think the four of us are awar e of the Thing between our friends
Niall Kelly (13:13)
Wait do we also add Agatha and Niamh?
Penelope Bunce (13:13)
No
Penelope Bunce (13:13)
Knowing them they don’t want to be involved
Shepard my love (13:13)
I dpn’t blame them
Shepard my love (13:13)
This is a trainwreck
Penelope Bunce (13:14)
all of us saw Simon and Baz interact at one (1) party and we all realised shit is going down
Niall Kelly (13:14)
Basically yeah
Dev Grimm (13:14)
Yeah
Dev Grimm (13:14)
Baz is looking at the drinks menu
Niall Kelly (13:14)
Can you keep him busy for a bit longer?
Dev Grimm (13:14)
I can try
Niall Kelly (13:14)
😘
Dev Grimm (13:14)
love you too
Shepard my love (13:14)
where are you guys?
Niall Kelly (13:14)
catching a show at the West End
Shepard my love (13:14)
oh a musical?
Niall Kelly (13:14)
Magic Mike Live
Shepard my love (13:15)
I LOVE THAT SHOW
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
GUYS FOCUS
Shepard my love (13:15)
sorry mummy
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
oh my God
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
But okay I am just going to spill the beans
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
Simon likes Baz
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
He straight up told me at the party even though he could not remember the day after
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
he was super drunk and just rambling about Baz’s hair and face and eyes
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
and body
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
and outfit
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
and hands
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
and what he’d like Baz to do wit those hands
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
He even talked about Baz’s nose!!!
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
Maybe it is a good thing he doesn’t remember because he was a drunk wreck
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
But I talked to him today
Penelope Bunce (13:15)
And from what I see, he isn’t sure what to do
Niall Kelly (13:15)
Same goes for Baz honestly
Shepard my love (13:15)
Oh good
Shepard my love (13:16)
I mean, that they like eac h toher
Shepard my love (13:16)
Although that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone
Niall Kelly (13:16)
Wait if I may ask
Niall Kelly (13:16)
Why is Simon not sure what to do?
Niall Kelly (13:16)
I’ve met the guy once and he seems very cool and outgoing
Niall Kelly (13:16)
Loves a laugh
Penelope Bunce (13:16)
That’s personal
Penelope Bunce (13:16)
But let’s just say that he has a lot of problems with wanting things
Penelope Bunce (13:16)
And thinking he deserves things
Niall Kelly (13:17)
Hm makes sense
Niall Kelly (13:17)
Baz, on the other hand, is just anxious
Niall Kelly (13:17)
He didn’t outright say this to me or Dev but I think he’s nervois because he’s never fallen for someone this quickly
Niall Kelly (13:17)
They met over text and things just progressed from there
Niall Kelly (13:17)
And now that they’ve seen each other IRL and know this is a real thing, things have changed
Niall Kelly (13:17)
Like now Baz can see himself eith this dude
Niall Kelly (13:17)
Ya know??
Niall Kelly (13:18)
And he and feelings aren’t friends
Niall Kelly (13:18)
idk wanna give away his personal secrets either, but his family isn’t very encouraging when it comes to expressing feelings
Niall Kelly (13:18)
Especially gay feelings
Niall Kelly (13:18)
Which is a shame cause yeah the two of them? That’s something I cann see happening as well
Shepard my love (12:19)
tbh I think we can all see it
Penelope Bunce (13:19)
Yes. We have eyes, Niall.
Dev Grimm (13:19)
Guys Baz is pissed at me
Dev Grimm (13:19)
If I take any longer on deliberating what drink I want he’ll kill me
Dev Grimm (13:19)
I’m now stalling I told him I’m texting Niall which ISNT A LIE to ask what drink niall wants
Niall Kelly (13:20)
Tell him I want a coke
Dev Grimm (13:20)
Okay but we are going to order now
Dev Grimm (13:20)
I do not want Baz to murder me I to die before seeing Magic Mike on stage
Penelope Bunce (13:20)
That’s fine thanks for holding him off
Penelope Bunce (13:21)
Enjoy your show
Shepard my love (13:21)
YES ENJOY THE NAKED MEN!!
Niall Kelly (13:21)
We will!!!
Shepard my love (13:23)
Okay but we’ve established that these two fuckers aren’t going to act on their feelings???
Penelope Bunce (13:23)
Yea
Shepard my love (13:23)
That’s hwere we step in
Penelope Bunce (13:23)
Dev, Niall
Penelope Bunce (13:23)
The thing with Simon is that he just needs a push in the right direction
Penelope Bunce (13:23)
And then he’ll take things from there
Penelope Bunce (13:23)
But that push is a huge thing
Penelope Bunce (13:23)
I did reassure him that he deserves nice things
Shepard my love (13:23)
Hm maybe I should go to him after work to also tell him that
Shepard my love (13:23)
Loving simon hours and all that
Dev Grimm (14:30)
We’re at intermission now
Dev Grimm (14:30)
Niall is the one distracting Bazzy
Dev Grimm (14:30)
He told me to tell you guys that we just need to have one of them confess to the other
Penelope Bunce (14:31)
But how???
Penelope Bunce (14:31)
Shep and I talked a bit more about it during linch
Shepard my love (14:31)
I made some poppin pancakes
Penelope Bunce (14:31)
He did
Penelope Bunce (14:31)
Does Baz do the grand gestures??
Dev Grimm (14:31)
No I do
Dev Grimm (14:31)
I serenaded Niall when I asked him out
Shepard my love (14:32)
Im heading to Simon right now btw
Dev Grimm (14:32)
Cool keep us posted
📱📱📱
Shepard Bunce
Mon 5th of December 2022
Shepard Bunce (17:03)
Don’t forget to think about what I said
Simon Snow-Salisbury (17:03)
I wont
Shepard Bunce (17:03)
Penelove and I are rooting for you!!!
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Mon 5th of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:01)
Message me when you get home safely
Niall Kelly (19:01)
We will mum
Niall Kelly (19:01)
We’re almost at the car!!
Dev Grimm (19:01)
It was a fun visit
Dev Grimm (19:01)
You should come up here next time
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:01)
I will
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:01)
I mean what will I do with my free time now that you wankers are gone?
Dev Grimm (19:01)
Text Simon
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:01)
Dev
Dev Grimm (19:01)
Baz
Dev Grimm (19:01)
We know you want to
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:02)
I haven’t texted him today
Niall Kelly (19:02)
That is so fucking stupid
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:02)
I don’t know what to say
Niall Kelly (19:02)
Remember what we said?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:03)
Yes
Niall Kelly (19:03)
Talk about your day
Dev Grimm (19:03)
Talk about Magic Mike and see how he reacts
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:03)
I guess
Niall Kelly (19:03)
look we’re about to hit the road
Niall Kelly (19:03)
You can message us and Dev will answer
Niall Kelly (19:03)
But you can also message your fishy boi
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:03)
Hm
Simon🐟
Mon 5th of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:04)
Dev and Niall are gone
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:04)
I miss them already
Simon🐟 (19:06)
Did you guys have fun tho??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:08)
Yeah we went to see Magic Mike Live
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:08)
And then dinner
Simon🐟 (19:08)
I LOVE MAGIC MIKE LIVE
Simon🐟 (19:08)
SHEP AND I HAVE SEEN IT 3 TIMES
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Mon 5th of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:10)
Simon loves Magic Mike Live
Dev Grimm (19:10)
👍
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Mon 5th of December 2022
Dev Grimm (19:10)
Baz found out that Simon’s queer
Penelope Bunce (19:10)
thank God
📱📱📱
Simon🐟
Mon 5th of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:10)
It was an experience
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:34)
Simon?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:35)
Now that I have more time on my hands
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:35)
Would you like to go have lunch or something tomorrow?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:35)
You know
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:35)
Agatha mentioned this really cool café
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:35)
and you like food
Simon🐟 (19:36)
Aaaaaah id love to bu t I am super busy tomorrow with work
Simon🐟 (19:36)
The day after??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:40)
Can’t
Baz Grimm-Pitch (19:40)
Wednesday is filled with classes
Simon🐟 (19:45)
We will find another date
Simon🐟 (19:45)
day
Simon🐟 (19:45)
another day date
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Tue 6th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (0:11)
We’re hoooome!
Niall Kelly (0:11)
do you have gossip for us Bazzy you’ve been silent
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:11)
No nothing
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:11)
I asked if he wanted to have lunch but he has to work
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:11)
And then I watched Legally Blonde
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:12)
And now I am about to sleep
Baz Grimm-Pitch (0:12)
Goodnight
Dev Grimm (10:21)
Lunch
Dev Grimm (10:21)
So homoerotic
Baz Grimm-Pitch (10:22)
Shut up
Baz Grimm-Pitch (10:23)
Look I tried okay?
Niall Kelly (10:24)
Surely he didn’t reject you
Baz Grimm-Pitch (10:24)
He didn’t
Baz Grimm-Pitch (10:24)
Another day
📱📱📱
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Tue 6th of December 2022
Shepard Bunce (18:24)
Simon my dude3 are you back from work?
Shepard Bunce (18:24)
Pen made a mean curry
Shepard Bunce (18:24)
wanna come over???
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:26)
sure
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Wed 7th of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (18:05)
Alright guys does anyone have a status update?
Niall Kelly (18:11)
You’re acting like this is a secret operation
Penelope Bunce (18:11)
Isn’t it?
Penelope Bunce (18:11)
I am pretty certain Simon and Baz don’t know we’re talking
Shepard my love (18:11)
Simon was just at our place
Shepard my love (18:12)
He said he hasn’t spken to Baz today
Dev Grimm (18:12)
Guys don’t you think that maybe we should let them figure this out themselves
Niall Kelly (18:12)
Babe
Niall Kelly (18:12)
It’s Baz
Dev Grimm (18:12)
Fair
Dev Grimm (18:12)
He did make a first step
Penelope Bunce (18:12)
????
Niall Kelly (18:12)
Baz asked Simon for lunch
Niall Kelly (18:13)
Simon said he had to work
Shepard my love (18:13)
bro
Shepard my love (18:13)
He did not tell us
Niall Kelly (18:13)
Let’s just hope that Baz will not take this as a rejection
📱📱📱
Simon 🐟
Thu 8th of December 2022
Simon🐟 (9:05)
do you have chrismas plans?
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Thu 8th of December 2022
Dev Grimm (11:34)
how’s it going Bazzy
Dev Grimm (11:34)
Dear cousin of mine
Dev Grimm (13:51)
Baz?
Niall Kelly
Thu 8th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (15:24)
Answer Dev
Dev Grimm
Thu 8th of December 2022
Dev Grimm (15:24)
Answer me dude
Pen (Penelove?)
Thu 8th of December 2022
Pen (Penelove?) (19:43)
This is Penelope Bunce
Pen (Penelove?) (19:43)
I got the number from the group!
Pen (Penelove?) (19:43)
I know I am late but do you still want those book recommendations on feminist readings of Greek mythology?
Dev Grimm
Thu 8th of December 2022
Dev Grimm (21:01)
I see you’ve read it
Dev Grimm (21:01)
Goddamnit Baz
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Thu 8th of December 2022
Baz (21:21)
I AM NOT DEAD
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:21)
I am alive and kicking
Dev Grimm (21:24)
Oh thank God
Niall Kelly (21:24)
Great to hear of you bazza
Dev Grimm (21:24)
So you weren’t having a big sad today?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:24)
Oh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:24)
No I was
Dev Grimm (21:24)
oh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (21:25)
Can I call?
Niall Kelly (21:25)
Always
📱📱📱
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Fri 9th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:21)
Okay I am upsetti spaghetti
Shepard Bunce (23:21)
???
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:25)
baz still hasn’t replied to my message 🥹
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:25)
it’s been almost 2 days
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:25)
di I text him again or will that look too desperate??
Shepard Bunce (23:25)
you miss all the shots you don’t take and all that
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:26)
hmmmmmm
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:26)
honestly ever since the party he’s been more silent
Penelope Bunce (23:26)
Didn’t he ask you for lunch?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:26)
yes and now I asked him abour Christmas
Shepard Bunce (23:26)
u know you’re always welcome at our place ror the holidays
Shepard Bunce (23:27)
we gotta celebrate our win
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:27)
our win??
Shepard Bunce (23:27)
OUR POPPIN CHRISTMAS CARD
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:27)
we haven’t even won yet
Shepard Bunce (23:27)
im ✨manifesting✨
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:27)
im going to gran and Jamie’s
Penelope Bunce (23:27)
That is good!
Shepard Bunce (23:27)
oh shit I forgot sorry man
Shepard Bunce (23:27)
ofc you have plans!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:27)
dw dw it’s still new to me too
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:27)
but yea I wanted to ask if Baz wants to hang out around the holidays
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:28)
cause unis have time off
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:28)
and like
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:28)
I appreciate your offers but I cannot hang out on your couah every day
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:28)
I movef out for a reason
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:29)
it was tough
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:29)
but wth a reason
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:29)
but now baz isn’t replying
Penelope Bunce (23:29)
It hasn’t been that long
Penelope Bunce (23:29)
Simon
Penelope Bunce (23:29)
Don’t tell me you’ve been waiting by the phone
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:29)
………
Shepard Bunce (23:29)
dude
Shepard Bunce (23:29)
DUDE
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:30)
LOOK
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:30)
it’s been a while since I liked anyone okay??
Simon Snow-Salisbury (23:30)
i just really really want to talk to him
Shepard Bunce (23:30)
Penelope Bunce (23:30)
Then talk to him
Penelope Bunce (23:30)
Send him another message
Penelope Bunce (23:31)
Or maybe wait until it’s morning
Penelope Bunce (23:31)
As Shep said, it’s better to try
Penelope Bunce (23:31)
And I think he has no reason to avoid you
Baz 🍆
Sat 10th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:56)
Baz🍆 (10:57)
what
Baz🍆 (10:57)
Hmmmm
Baz🍆 (10:57)
It depends on the kind of hummus
Baz🍆 (10:57)
I like chickpeas but they aren’t the most flavourful, so you really have to add more taste to it
Baz🍆 (10:57)
So same can be said for hummus
Baz🍆 (10:57)
The spicy ones are the better ones
Simon Snow-Salisbury (10:59)
oh hello!!
Baz🍆 (11:00)
What are your thoughts on hummus?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:00)
tbh it aint that special
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:00)
anyway hi how have you been
Baz🍆 (11:00)
Good
Baz🍆 (11:00)
Mostly
Baz🍆 (11:00)
Uni and all that
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:00)
hmmm
Baz🍆 (11:00)
And you?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:00)
also good
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:01)
today is the day shep and I handed in our card
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:01)
the results will be posted closer to Christmas
Baz🍆 (11:01)
That is nice
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:01)
it is
Baz🍆 (11:01)
Yes
Baz🍆 (11:01)
Let me know how it goes
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:02)
I will
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Sat 10th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:08)
so
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:08)
[ID: screenshot of conversation between Simon and Baz]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:08)
it is a bit… stiff
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:09)
what do I do?
Penelope Bunce (11:10)
Is it really that bad?
Penelope Bunce (11:10)
It seems fine to me
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:10)
hmmm
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:10)
maybe
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:10)
maybe I am just overreacting
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:10)
or maybe he grew tired of me after he met me irl
Shepard Bunce (11:10)
No
Shepard Bunce (11:10)
you are cool
Shepard Bunce (11:10)
Baz thinks so too!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:11)
how would you know
Penelope Bunce (11:11)
My hubby is right
Penelope Bunce (11:11)
You are a great person
Penelope Bunce (11:11)
Baz would be stupid not to think so
Penelope Bunce (11:11)
Maybe he’s just busy
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:11)
hm yea
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:11)
yeah you guys are right
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:11)
sorry
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:11)
I mean I gotta go to the store now but I’ll try again later
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Sat 10th of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (14:05)
We have a Situation here
Dev Grimm (14:06)
We do too
Penelope Bunce (14:06)
Baz didn’t reply soon enough and now Si is afraid he hates him
Penelope Bunce (14:06)
Forgive him for it, he used to be a “weird kid”
Penelope Bunce (14:06)
As in, other kids ignored him because he didn’t fit the norm
Penelope Bunce (14:06)
And I suppose this is a remnant of it
Penelope Bunce (14:06)
That and the aforementioned not believing that he can have nice things
Penelope Bunce (14:07)
Anyway what is yours doing?
Niall Kelly (14:07)
Nothing
Niall Kelly (14:07)
which is bad
Dev Grimm (14:07)
We gave him a pep talk
Dev Grimm (14:07)
Dev Grimm (14:07)
But yeah he had a Moment
Shepard my love (14:08)
Care to elaborate?
Dev Grimm (14:09)
Without getting into it too deeply, as we said before, Baz has some problems expressing emotions or being vulnerable so when he does and it doesn’t go as planned he gets very upset
Penelope Bunce (14:09)
We need to get them into the same space again
Penelope Bunce (14:09)
But how will we do that?
Penelope Bunce (14:10)
If we do this, our scheming will go to a new level
Shepard my love (14:10)
I accept it
Shepard my love (14:10)
these two obviously some issues to work through and they might need each other
Shepard my love (14:10)
OKAY
Shepard my love (14:10)
that sounds kinda bad when I put it like that
Shepard my love (14:10)
Not to say that I think a relationsjip will fix things that is not what I a m saying
Shepard my love (14:10)
but I mean
Shepard my love (14:10)
I genuinely think they will make each other happiness
Shepard my love (14:10)
and I wish that happiness for Simon
Shepard my love (14:10)
an d Baz
Shepard my love (14:10)
but Simon is my bestie
Penelope Bunce (14:11)
Stop saying bestie
Shepard my love (14:11)
no <3
Niall Kelly (14:18)
Dev and I talked about it and we are in
Niall Kelly (14:18)
no clue how much we can contribute from Manchester but we agree with shep
Niall Kelly (14:19)
OPERATION BAZON IS ON
Dev Grimm (14:20)
I prefer Snowbaz
Shepard my love (14:21)
Frostbite is RIGHT THERE GUYS
Sun 11th of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (10:43)
Did you guys get the Zoom link??
Penelope Bunce (10:43)
I may have accidentally misspelled your email
Penelope Bunce (10:43)
Autocorrect prefers grim with one m
Dev Grimm (10:43)
We got it!
Penelope Bunce (10:43)
👍
📱📱📱
Penelope Bunce
Sun 11th of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (12:54)
Hi Baz
Penelope Bunce (12:54)
Back again
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
Oh hi!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
Sorry
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
I forgot to reply
Penelope Bunce (12:55)
It’s fine!!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
(I did fix your name in my phone)
Penelope Bunce (12:55)
Oh?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
[ID: screenshot taken another day that shows the screenname Pen (Penelove?)]
Penelope Bunce (12:55)
lol okay Penelove… that is Shep’s doing
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
Ha
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
Anyway
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:55)
I am indeed still interested in those books
Penelope Bunce (12:55)
There are quite a lot
Penelope Bunce (12:56)
[ID: photo of stack of books]
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:56)
Woah
Penelope Bunce (12:56)
How about this?
Penelope Bunce (12:56)
You can come over and see which ones you want to borrow
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:56)
That sounds like a smart plan
Penelope Bunce (12:56)
Is tomorrow too early?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:56)
No
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:56)
I prefer it
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:56)
I don't have classes on Monday. I do have classes on Tuesday and Wednesday. So Monday's the best.
Penelope Bunce (12:56)
Great!! Me neither
Penelope Bunce (12:57)
Is 13:00 okay?
Penelope Bunce (12:57)
Do you need an address or can you find your way??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:57)
It’s across the road from Simon isn’t it?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:57)
That building?
Penelope Bunce (12:57)
Yes, we’re number 54
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:57)
See you then
Penelope Bunce (12:57)
💃💃💃
📱📱📱
Shepard Bunce
Sun 11th of December 2022
Shepard Bunce (12:54)
psssst
Shepard Bunce (12:54)
don’t tell pen
Shepard Bunce (12:54)
but I am craving tacos
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:54)
why cant I tell pen she loves tacos too?
Shepard Bunce (12:54)
yes man but not as much as we do
Shepard Bunce (12:54)
weve had 5 tacos this week alone
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:54)
Really???
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:55)
nice shep
Shepard Bunce (12:55)
and yet I need more
Shepard Bunce (12:55)
but Pen will judge me
Shepard Bunce (12:55)
aka are you up for a secret taco quest tomorrow noon???
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:56)
Fuck yeah shep
Shepard Bunce (12:56)
12:30 in front of our building??
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:56)
what will we tell Pen??
Shepard Bunce (12:57)
we’ll get to that tomorrow
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Sun11th of December 2022
Shepard my love (13:01)
PLAN IS IN ACTION
Dev Grimm (13:01)
fuck yah
Shepard my love (13:01)
I will take simon for tacos around 12:30 so before Baz arrives
Penelope Bunce (13:02)
Baz will be there at 13:00
Shepard my love (13:02)
and then when we get our tacos I will find an excuse to take him home with me
Shepard my love (13:02)
BAM
Shepard my love (13:02)
FROSTBITE IN ONE PLACE
Niall Kelly (13:02)
nice nice
Dev Grimm (13:02)
I still prefer snowbaz
Niall Kelly (13:02)
We will hype Bazzy up
Penelope Bunce (13:03)
Remember you can’t tell hm!
Niall Kelly (13:04)
we won’t!
Niall Kelly (13:04)
We’ll nbe sleek
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Sun 11th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (13:05)
How is life, Bazzy?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:05)
As long as you keep calling me Bazzy it’s terrible
Niall Kelly (13:05)
Bazza?
Niall Kelly (13:05)
Bazzy-boo?
Niall Kelly (13:05)
Bazzling?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:05)
Sigh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:05)
What is it?
Niall Kelly (13:05)
Just asking how you’fre doing
Dev Grimm (13:05)
Let Niall mother you
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:05)
Yes other mum
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
Can’t believe I have four mothers
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
Mother, Daphne, Niall and Dev
Niall Kelly (13:06)
Any plans this upcoming week?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
Why are you asking?
Dev Grimm (13:06)
Why are you avoiding the answer?
Niall Kelly (13:06)
Just wondering
Niall Kelly (13:06)
After our call from a few days ago I just wanted to know how you are
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
I’m fine
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
I’m going to Penelope’s place tomorrow
Dev Grimm (13:06)
oh that’s fun!
Dev Grimm (13:06)
Will Simon be there?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
No why would he be?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:07)
He lives across the road, remember? Not there.
Dev Grimm (13:07)
Well
Dev Grimm (13:07)
Do you want to see him?
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Sun 11th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (13:06)
Update: Dev is not being sleek
Dev Grimm (13:07)
shhhhh leme handle this
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Sun 11th of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:07)
Yes
Dev Grimm (13:07)
Then why haven’t you contacted him again?
Dev Grimm (13:08)
We talked about this
Dev Grimm (13:08)
He asked for your plans
Dev Grimm (13:08)
You wanted to have lunch with him
Dev Grimm (13:08)
Why are you two makin g it more difficult?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:08)
…
Niall Kelly (13:08)
Dev
Dev Grimm (13:08)
Niall
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:08)
No no no
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:08)
Dev is right
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:08)
Honestly
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:09)
I don’t know
Dev Grimm (13:09)
Wow
Dev Grimm (13:09)
Baz says I’m right and he admits to not knowing anything
Dev Grimm (13:09)
Call the press
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:09)
Shut the fuck up
Niall Kelly (13:09)
Let him talk babe
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:15)
If I am being honest, I have been thinking about this ever since our last call. I already said it there, but I just… I don’t know how to act around Simon and that pisses me off. I need to be the cool and collected (and hot and mysterious) guy, you know? But then there is Simon Snow-Salisbury and he is just so wonderful and I thought he was attractive from the moment my eyes laid on the fish photo, but then we actually started talking and I realised he is fun, but that was that. A fun anecdote. Simon was supposed to be just that. But then I actually met him and I went home after that fis=rst meeting at Starbucks and my mind was just reeling and it hasn’t stopped ever since and the party was fun but it only exacerbated the problem by confirming that I like him and I do not know what to do with that.
Niall Kelly (13:16)
Wow
Niall Kelly (13:16)
I said “let him talk” and you really went for it
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:18)
AND I just don’t have experience with this love at first sight bullshit. I mean, I don’t think it can be classified as love at first sight, or maybe it was. I feel like I realised I want to be with him when I first saw him offline but even online I was drawn to him. You guys said it yourself. I don’t talk to new people that easily. And now I am a fucking mess and I can’t be around Simon because I will be a mess! But also if I don’t see him again I’m going to be a pining idiot and UGH
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:19)
Ah fuck
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:19)
Can we call again??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:19)
Or are you already tired of my longing?
Dev Grimm (13:20)
We’re in the middle of Sainsbury’s
Dev Grimm (13:20)
I mean you can call but it’s fucking noisy here
Dev Grimm (13:20)
You can leave a message??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:56)
Dev Grimm (13:56)
oh my god
Dev Grimm (13:56)
36 MINUTES???
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:59)
Look
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:59)
I had a lot to say
📱📱📱
Shepard Bunce
Mon 12th of December 2022
Shepard Bunce (12:27)
Im outside
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:27)
omw
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:27)
TACO TIME
Shepard Bunce (12:27)
TACO TIME
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:28)
🌮🌮🌮
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:54)
[ID: photo of a taco]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:54)
[ID: another photo of a taco]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:54)
[ID: and another photo of a taco]
Simon Snow-Salisbury (13:54)
[ID: yet another photo of a taco]
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Mon 12th of December 2022
Shepard my love (13:59)
we’ve had out taco photoshoot
Dev Grimm (13:59)
What is it with you two and weird photoshoots?
Shepard my love (14:00)
look no one was naked this time it was just tacos
Shepard my love (14:00)
but I M now going to take simon home with me
Penelope Bunce (14:05)
Baz is in oir kitchen getting some tea
Dev Grimm (14:05)
has Baz talked to you about what he told me and Niall yesterday??
Penelope Bunce (14:05)
No
Penelope Bunce (14:05)
But that doesn’t matter
Penelope Bunce (14:05)
It’s Simon he needs to say this to
Dev Grimm (14:06)
tru dat
Shepard my love (14:10)
we’re on the train!!
Niall Kelly (14:10)
NICE
Niall Kelly (14:10)
Everything’s according to plan
Shepard my love (14:37)
[ID: a somewhat blurry photo with Simon in the foreground and his back is turned to the camera. In the background you can see Baz and Penelope. Baz is standing, like he’s just gotten out of his seat, and he has a baffled and surprised look on his face. Penny is seated and she looks smug.]
Shepard my love (14:37)
IT’S HAPPENING!!!!
Shepard my love (14:40)
Simon is a stuttering ididot
Shepard my love (14:52)
oh my!!
Niall Kelly (14:52)
WHAT IS GOING ON???
Niall Kelly (14:52)
GUYS
Dev Grimm (14:53)
DON’T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS
Niall Kelly (15:01)
COME ON
Niall Kelly (15:06)
GIVE US THE DEETS
Dev Grimm (15:10)
DON’T MAKE ME CALL YOU
Penelope Bunce (15:14)
we’re here!!! We’re here!!
Dev Grimm (15:14)
oh my GHOD
Penelope Bunce (15:14)
Simon and Baz just left
Penelope Bunce (15:14)
to go to Simon’s place
Niall Kelly (15:14)
WHAT HAPPENED
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
Okay so as planned, Simon and Shepard came in when Baz and I were talking about the role of Briseis in the Iliad and it was like a movie
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
like time stopped
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
Simon saw Baz and stopped in his tracks and in a stunned voice said “… Baz?”
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
Baz immediately got out of his seat, as evidenced in Shep’s creepshot, and he also said “Simon?” in an awestruck voice
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
And the two of them just stared at each other, lost in their own world
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
Until Shepard coughed and brought them back to reality
Niall Kelly (15:15)
damn Penny are you a writer?
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
No but I do read a lot of SKAM fanfiction
Dev Grimm (15:15)
shhh don’t interrupt her Niall
Penelope Bunce (15:15)
anyway
Penelope Bunce (15:16)
After the initial “what are you doing here”s, Baz just got really flustered. And Simon was also stumbling over his words
Penelope Bunce (15:16)
Now, Shepard actually hyped Simon up during taco time
Shepard my love (15:16)
I did
Penelope Bunce (15:16)
And whatever you two said to Baz might’ve worked again
Penelope Bunce (15:16)
Because they just started talking about how they hadn’t seen each other in a while, but how they would like to talk and all that stuff. I shoved some books in Baz’s hands and Shep and I basically told them to get a room.
Penelope Bunce (15:17)
So Simon, while blushing, suggested they go to his place
Penelope Bunce (15:17)
After Baz asked if it was fine that he’d cut our book club short
Penelope Bunce (15:17)
if only he knew
Penelope Bunce (15:17)
I said it was fine and we can resume another time
Penelope Bunce (15:17)
Baz grabbed his coat and they left
Penelope Bunce (15:17)
That’s all we know for now!
Niall Kelly (15:17)
damn
Niall Kelly (15:17)
and now w e wait
📱📱📱
why are we not a throuple 🥺🥺
Mon 12th of December 2022
Penelope Bunce (18:00)
How is it going, Si?
Shepard Bunce (18:00)
hey man is Baz still around?
Penelope Bunce (18:00)
I hope you two are having fun!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:08)
hi
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:08)
Baz just went home
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:08)
everything is fine
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:08)
everything is good
Shepard Bunce (18:09)
did anything happen??
Shepard Bunce (18:09)
like
Shepard Bunce (18:09)
did you plant a bif kiss on those kissy kissy kissable lips??
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:09)
shu up
Penelope Bunce (18:10)
Those ar4e your drunken words, Si
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:10)
no I didn’t kiss him
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:10)
I wanted to tho
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:10)
but not kissing
Shepard Bunce (18:10)
why???
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:11)
bc we just talked and hung out and baz stayed for deinner so we ordered thai
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:11)
and it was just nice
Shepard Bunce (18:11)
so what now?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:11)
im going to visit his place tomorrow after work
Penelope Bunce (18:12)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Penelope Bunce (18:12)
SIMON!!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:12)
I mean
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:12)
it doesn’t hafe to mean anything
Shepard Bunce (18:12)
no man
Shepard Bunce (18:13)
this def means something
Shepard Bunce (18:13)
jusy trust us
Simon Snow-Salisbury (18:13)
???
Shepard Bunce (18:13)
just trust us
Baz 🍆
Mon 12th of December 2022
Baz🍆 (21:55)
I got home safely
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:56)
🥳🥳🥳
Baz🍆 (21:56)
It was nice seeing you, Simon
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:56)
likewise
Simon Snow-Salisbury (21:56)
and I kcant want umtil tomorrow
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Tue 13th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (8:59)
how was the bookclub?
Niall Kelly (8:59)
What did Penny think of Women of Troy?
Dev Grimm (9:00)
or Galatea!
Dev Grimm (9:00)
I like the reinterpretation of that one
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:03)
oh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:03)
uh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:03)
So our book club got cut short
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:03)
Look
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:03)
I can’t talk now
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:03)
My flat is a mess but Simon is coming over so I am cleaning this entire place before I go to uni
Niall Kelly (9:05)
EXCUSE ME
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:08)
Pick up guys
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:08)
I’ll explain it all while cleaning okay?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (9:08)
But you gotta pick up
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Tue 13th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (13:45)
Does anyne have any updates??
Shepard my love (13:45)
we don’t :(
Penelope Bunce (13:45)
But something is happening
Dev Grimm (13:45)
Something is happening??
Penelope Bunce (13:45)
Something is definitely happening
📱📱📱
Simon 🐟
Tue 13th of December 2022
Simon🐟 (18:00)
im fuckin lost
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:00)
Oh my
Simon🐟 (18:00)
I am on my way but I m a bit late cause im fucking LOST
Simon🐟 (18:00)
ive been to Chelsea before wtf is this bullshti
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:00)
It’s fine
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:00)
Take your time
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:05)
Do I need to find you?
Simon🐟 (18:05)
no pe I think I am on your street now
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:05)
I can open my window and wave
Simon🐟 (18:06)
[ID: photo of Baz leaning out of a window. He is waving. His other hand is holding a phone]
Simon🐟 (18:07)
don’t fuckin drop your mobile you’re at 5 stories gihh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (18:08)
I’m coming downstairs to open the door
Simon🐟 (18:08)
yeeeee
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Tue 13th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (22:20)
But really
Niall Kelly (22:20)
How is it going??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:20)
Give me more time
Dev Grimm (22:21)
dude???
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:21)
Guys
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:21)
It’s… perfect
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:21)
It’s going perfectly
Dev Grimm (22:22)
????????
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:22)
Shhhh
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:22)
Lemme have this
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:22)
He is perfect
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:22)
He is so soft
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:22)
His hands, his hair, his lips
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:22)
Everything about him is so soft
Niall Kelly (22:23)
EXCUSE ME????
Niall Kelly (22:23)
LIPS???
Niall Kelly (22:23)
BAZ???????
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:23)
Later
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:23)
He’s still here
Baz Grimm-Pitch (22:23)
I don’t want him to ever leave
Simon 🐟
Tue 13th of December 2022
Simon🐟 (23:33)
okay
Simon🐟 (23:33)
I know I literally just left
Simon🐟 (23:33)
but im lost again it is even worse in the dark
Baz Grimm-Pitch (23:34)
Are you safe?
Simon🐟 (23:34)
yea
Simon🐟 (23:34)
but uhm
Simon🐟 (23:34)
this might be a bit forward after only one kiss
Simon🐟 (23:34)
but ugm I can turn around nd come back??
Simon🐟 (23:34)
and stay the night
Simon🐟 (23:34)
if you want me to
Baz Grimm-Pitch (23:35)
Of course I want you to
Baz Grimm-Pitch (23:35)
I admit I didn’t want you to go in the first place
Simon🐟 (23:35)
aight
Simon🐟 (23:35)
I;; be there in 5
Wed 14th of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (8:30)
I am off to class. I did not want to wake you. You look so peaceful when you’re asleep.
Baz Grimm-Pitch (8:30)
There are eggs and cereal. And I have coffee and several flavours of tea
Baz Grimm-Pitch (8:30)
I have class all day so don’t wait for me
Baz Grimm-Pitch (8:31)
But I can come back for lunch break
Baz Grimm-Pitch (8:31)
For a small moment
Simon🐟 (10:34)
please come back 🥰
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:15)
On my way!
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:15)
I won’t be able to stay for long though
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:15)
Unless I skip class 😏
Simon🐟 (12:15)
tempting
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:15)
We’ve only been together for a few hours and you’re already a bad influence on me
Simon🐟 (12:16)
I know how to make it up with you 😘😚
Baz Grimm-Pitch (12:16)
fuck classes
Simon🐟 (12:16)
fuck yeah babe!!
📱📱📱
New groupchat who dis??
Wed 14th of December 2022
Niall Kelly (12:17)
WE ARE POPPIN THOSE BOTTLES FOLKS
Niall Kelly (12:17)
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Penelope Bunce (12:18)
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
Dev Grimm (12:18)
Our friends have gotten their heads out of their asses
Shepard my love (12:18)
Shepard my love (12:18)
sooooo do we tell Simon we know??
Penelope Bunce (12:19)
Not yet let him tell us first
Dev Grimm (12:23)
[ID: selfie of Dev and Niall. They’re holding up flutes with champagne]
Dev Grimm (12:23)
Cheers!!
Penelope Bunce (12:30)
[ID: selfie of Penelope and Shepard. They are also holding up flutes, but with cranberry juice since they didn’t have champagne]
Penelope Bunce (12:30)
Cheers!!!
Shepard my love (12:31)
GREAT WORK TEAM LET'S HIT THE SHOWERS
📱📱📱
A very, very, very belated housewarming party 💃💃
Wed 14th of December 2022
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:23)
[ID: selfie of Simon and Baz, sitting on Baz’s sofa. Baz has his eyes closed and he presses a kiss on Simon’s cheek. Simon is smiling smugly at the camera.]
Agatha Wellbelove (14:23)
UHM HELLO
Agatha Wellbelove (14:24)
SIMON??? BAZ!!!
Baz🍆 (14:24)
Yes
Baz🍆 (14:24)
We are together
Shepard Bunce (14:24)
my dudes!!!!
Dev Grimm (14:24)
Wow I love gay people!
Penelope Bunce (14:24)
OH Simon!! I am so happy for you. And for Baz too of course
Niall Kelly (14:24)
fucking finally
Shepard Bunce (14:25)
Niamh Brody (14:25)
Oh
Niamh Brody (14:25)
Nice
Niamh Brody has left the chat
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:25)
Excuse me Niamh???
Simon Snow-Salisbury added Niamh Brody to the chat
Niamh Brody has left the chat
Agatha Wellbelove (14:26)
Shhh shhhhh it is all fine
Agatha Wellbelove (14:26)
Niamh told me that the only reason she’s still in this chat is because she wanted to know if you’d two end up together
Dev Grimm (14:26)
lmao
Agatha Wellbelove (14:26)
Niamh tells me to tell you that everything is fine now and she’s pleased for you
Penelope Bunce (14:26)
Niamh??? Please??? That’s huge
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:27)
tell jer I love her too
Shepard Bunce (14:28)
deeds tho give us DEEDS
Baz🍆 (14:28)
We talked. We kissed. The end.
Dev Grimm (14:28)
Wow
Dev Grimm (14:28)
Thanks for nothing Bazzy
Baz🍆 (14:28)
😘
Baz🍆 (14:28)
I might send you fuckers another insanely long voice message
Niall Kelly (14:29)
we cant’… wait
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:29)
it is a bit bigger than that
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:29)
pen, shep i'll tell you more later rn i wanna cuddle my new bf!!
Penelope Bunce (14:29)
Well folks
Penelope Bunce (14:29)
We did it
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:29)
?????
Shepard Bunce (14:29)
😏😏😏
Dev Grimm (14:29)
[ID: photo of two empty flutes]
Dev Grimm (14:30)
You can thank us later
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:30)
wait WHAT
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:30)
SHEPARD BUNCE NÉ LOVE IS THIS WHY YOU TOLD ME YO TRUST YOU???
Shepard Bunce (14:30)
[ID: another photo of two empty flutes]
Penelope Bunce (14:30)
Simon, did you never wonder how Shep and I knew Baz asked you for lunch?
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:30)
WAIT DID I NOT TELL YOU THAT AM I BAMBOOZLED??
Shepard Bunce (14:30)
love you too
Niall Kelly (14:31)
🙌🙌🙌
Baz🍆 (14:31)
What thr fuck are you people talking about
Agatha Wellbelove (14:31)
Oh my!!
Agatha Wellbelove (14:31)
Boys I think there was some scheming
Penelope Bunce (14:31)
We’ll talk later Simon
Penelope Bunce (14:31)
But you should thank us 😳😊
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:31)
well
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:31)
thank you
Baz🍆 (14:32)
This has been sweet but we’re off to get ice cream
Agatha Wellbelove (14:32)
It’s December
Simon Snow-Salisbury (14:32)
we want ice cream
Shepard Bunce (14:32)
have fun!!
Baz🍆 (15:17)
[ID: photo of two ice cream cones]
Baz🍆 (15:17)
🍧❤️🍧
im fine with us not being a throuple 😌😌
Fri 23rd of December 2022
Shepard Bunce (11:49)
DUDE
Shepard Bunce (11:50)
WHERE ARE YOU TWO???
Penelope Bunce (11:50)
Simon it is about to start!!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:56)
were on our way!!!
Simon Snow-Salisbury (11:57)
did you nring the fish??
Shepard Bunce (11:57)
ofc I did man
frenz 💖✨
Fri 23rd of December 2022
Baz💞 (12:44)
[ID: photo of Shepard and Simon. They’re on a small stage with the inflatable fish that started it all. Their Christmas card is projected on a big screen behind them, which is unfortunate for some audience members. Another person is handing them a small, cheap plastic trophy]
Baz💞 (12:44)
THEY WON!
Niall Kelly (12:45)
fuck YEAH👏
Agatha Wellbelove (12:46)
Oh lovely!
Niamh Brody (12:46)
Alright
Dev Grimm (12:46)
Simon Snow-Salisbury (12:50)
thank you to all of our fans we would not have made it this far without you
Shepard Bunce (12:51)
we peaked in life
Penelope Bunce (12:56)
[ID: photo of Simon acting out the post in the photo in real life. Fortunately for the audience, with clothes on this time. Shepard is holding the trophy over the fish’s head]
Penelope Bunce (12:56)
I am so proud!! 😭
📱📱📱
Queer Grimm-Pitches (and Niall!!!) thotties
Fri 23rd of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:01)
God this place is insane
Dev Grimm (13:01)
What kind of club is it???
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:01)
Honestly
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:01)
I still have no clue
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:02)
There seems to be a lot of DnD and renaissance enactment, but also Pokémon
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:02)
Simon got a sword from somewhere
Niall Kelly (13:02)
KIs it a secret club??
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:02)
Well I am here, so it is open to the public
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:02)
But yeah I think so
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:02)
Every time I ask Si or Shep they just share a mischievous look
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:02)
Maybe we will never know
Niall Kelly (13:02)
well whatever club it is, they are mad enough to crown Shep and simon the winnres
Niall Kelly (13:02)
Who would’ve thought that that photo would lead to all of this
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:02)
Don’t remind me
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
I know 😊
Dev Grimm (13:03)
yeah yeah when is the wedding
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
We’re not there yet
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
It’s too soon to meet the families so definitely too soon to think about marriage
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
But who knows
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
Maybe one day
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
But yeah
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
He goes to his family and my family is coming to London
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
So I am actually itching to leave this place
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:03)
It’s out last day together before we will have to miss each other
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:04)
Actually
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:04)
Yes
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:04)
I am going to look for him
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:04)
And ask if he wants to leave early
Niall Kelly (13:04)
👍👍👍
Niall Kelly (13:04)
see if he ditches the fish for you, Bazzy!
Niall Kelly (13:04)
tnen he’s a keeper
Dev Grimm (13:05)
Have fun 😏😘
Simon🥰
Fri 23rd of December 2022
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:05)
Where are you?
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:05)
I’m looking all over!
Simon🥰 (13:05)
at the buffet table
Simon🥰 (13:05)
the shitty buffet table
Simon🥰 (13:05)
I demand we need more funding for the food at yhe activities
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:05)
We can order food
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
I mean
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
If we leave early
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
Please I want to leave early
Simon🥰 (13:06)
but the fish!!!
Simon🥰 (13:06)
jk jk
Simon🥰 (13:05)
lets bail!! I got my trophy im good
Simon🥰 (13:06)
where are you
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
I’m coming to the shitty buffet table
Simon🥰 (13:06)
wjen we go to my place we might be able to recreate the photo as well
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:06)
Oh?
Simon🥰 (13:06)
but this time wit h you on top instead of the fish
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:07)
Tempting offer, love
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:07)
Sounds like a plan
Simon🥰 (13:07)
😚😚😚
Simon🥰 (13:07)
I love you
Simon🥰 (13:07)
best boyfriend ever!!!
Simon🥰 (13:07)
no fish can compare
Baz Grimm-Pitch (13:07)
I love you too ❤️