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Chapter Text

TAKE A SWAN DIVE OFF THE ROOF AND HOPE FOR A QUIRK IN YOUR NEXT LIFE

midoryia had heard that kind of bait before, never from bakugo but he was still used to it. Maybe he had a concussion...

He had hit the concrete pretty hard. But really who wouldn't consider it after hearing that...

BE MORE REALISTIC

No wonder he was falling.

He saw a person reaching over the edge of the building he'd just jumped from. They were shouting something he couldn't hear over the wind in his ears.

He distantly realized his face was wet... And then... Nothing.

Aizawa

It was supposed to be a normal patrol. Then again when is it not?

He looked over the broken body. The boy couldn't be older then 14... And he couldn't reach him in time.

He called the police as protocol demanded and sat next to the boy to wait. He examined his face, promising himself he wouldn't forget it. Unruly curly green hair, the kind that's always a mess, bright green eyes still glazed over with tears, freckles covered his face and aizawa pushed his emotions down. The boy was too young... But they always are.

He didn't want to get up when he heard the explosions, but the police were there, he'd given his statement, and he had no reason he couldn't. He may be underground but he couldn't ignore people in trouble.

He told himself that limelight heros would be there, they would have it covered, he wouldn't have to do a thing. Of course he jinxed it.

He rushed to the scene and found HEROS just standing there. A boy with spiky blond hair was being held by a villain made of sludge. The explosions a result of the boys quirk.

He clearly couldn't breath and had 4-5 minutes at best, who knows how much of that had already been wasted. His scarf moved out to grab the boy before he fully registered the scene or even had a plan. It sunk into the villains side and he yelled at the boy to grab it. When he felt the line go taut he started pulling.

"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?!?! HELP ME GET HIM OUT!!!" he yelled at the heros doing a fantastic impression of present mic, that's what you get from living with the man most of your adult life. He heard a man yell out behind him and didn't have time to look before another hand grabbed his scarf.

"HAVE NO FEAR FOR I AM HERE!!!" All Might himself pulled on the capture weapon pulling the kid free. He moved forward leaving aizawa to catch him and blasted the sludge villain to pieces. 

Aizawa, who had mostly just using his body to break the kid's fall, set the boy down and called paramedics over. The boy had a death grip on aizawa's scarf and he wrapped it around him, letting him use it as a shock blanket.

Aizawa scolded the police and paramedics for trying to crowd the boy. He was startled to realize the boy was clinging to him and not All Might, who had come over to give him an autograph and check on him.

Once the boy was ok and he'd given his report he finally went home

Chapter Text

Midoryia

Izuku blinked slowly as he woke up. His head was pounding and he wasn't completely sure where he was. He stared up at the sky and took stock of his surroundings.

First things first he was outside.

Second he was in the warehouse district.

Third he was laying on the sidewalk.

And fourth the more he remembered about why he was there the more anxious he felt. He'd jumped...a terrifying thought in and of itself, and he'd survived? did that man do this? As he fell he remembered a man with black hair and a white scarf. The scarf had seemed to reach for him but he dismissed that as he hadn't been thinking properly.

He moved to get up only to panic when he saw himself. He was translucent?! He stared at his hands in shock and tried to push down his growing fear. He backed up to the wall of the building behind him and tried to lean on it for balence, resulting in him falling through a wall. His fear only grew as he scrambled back to his feet. He cautiously pressed his hand against the building, just to have it pass through with no resistance exactly like before. He couldn't hold it back anymore and started panicking. Thoughts flew through his head, he had so so many questions and almost no answers. The most important probably being...

Was he dead?

Wasn't his soul supposed to disappear? or go to an afterlife? Did this make him a ghost?!

He tried every anxiety calming tactic he knew but god damn it what did you do in this situation?! He didn't receive a manual on being a ghost! hard to read or otherwise! And there certianly weren't any youtube tutorials on 'how to deal with not moving on after death'!! Did this mean he had unfinished business or something? Did his goal to become a hero count for that? oh god...how was his mom handling this?

The thought of his mother shocked him out of his spiral. He'd jumped! He hadn't told her anything either, about his anxiety, about his deppression, none of it. she would get blind sided with this...

He started looking around, he was unfamiliar with this part of town and started the job of figuring out how to get home.

Eventually he found the train and was able to take it to a place he recognized. In some distant part of his brain he knew that it was weird he could get on a train and not lean on a wall but he'd figure out what exactly this ghost thing intailed later. Right now he had to get to his mom. 

He looked around as he walked through the neighborhood he'd lived in all his life. Most people were at work right now but knowing his mom she'd be at home still, too worried about her son to go to work. He walked up to the house and stood on the lawn for a minute. 

"I'm sorry mom..." He sighed softly and sat on the porch. He looked through the window at his mother who was nervously cleaning the house while the news played on the TV. She was waiting for him to come home and he knew it. He watched her pick up the phone and saw her getting mad at whoever was on the other side. She was probably calling the school and they, probably, hadn't even noticed that he wasn't there today. She sat back on the couch and called someone else, who ever it was didn't pick up and she sighed softly. 

He moved closer to the window and put his hand to the glass. It fogged up in the shape of his handprint and he pulled back, once again distantly wondering how that worked when he was a ghost. He wasn't sure how long he sat there watching instead of going inside but the false peace was broken when a black car pulled up to the house. 

He stared at the men climbing out and stood up. 

Aizawa

He sighed softly and closed the door as he got out. He looked up at the Midoryia's house and steeled himself for the conversation he was about to have. He glanced at the officer the station had sent with him and started walking to the door. He could feel someone's eyes on him but he couldn't pin point where they were coming from. He looked around quickly before knocking on the door. He saw a pot with a mostly dead plant, it had been painted by a child and he could just barely read where they had signed their name. 'Midoryia Izuku'

He swallowed the lump in his throat just as Midoryia Inko opened the door. 

"can...i help you gentlemen?" She got nervous at the sight of the other man's uniform and Aizawa sighed. 

"Hello Ma'm I'm the pro hero eraserhead. I'm afraid i have...some bad news regarding your son. may we come in?" He did his best to be polite but there was no way to break this gently. the feeling of being watched followed them into the house. 

"Should...should i make some tea?" the woman rung her hands nervously and Aizawa could tell she was scaning the house for anything out of place. Though there was nothing, the house was spotless. 

"No ma'm just..you might want to sit down for this." He gestured to the couch and they all sat down. "your son...Midoryia Izuku-" 

"Is he ok?! he didnt' come home last night and I didn't want to report him missing yet but he won't answer his phone and he didn't show up at school today-" Her nervous energy seemed to double.

"Ma'm please...your son was found last night. He'd...jumped. From a building in the warehouse district. He had his school ID with him at the time..." The officer sitting on the other side of Mrs Midoryia gave Aizawa a look and no it wasn't the softest way to do it but she would have figured it out if he tried to ease her into it. He'd done this enough times to know it was better to just get it out quickly. 

Horror flashed over the woman's face "No..." 

"I'm sorry. I was there when it happened...I couldn't stop him." the feeling of being watched hadn't left. If anything it had gotten sharper and more intense. 

"My son..." tear's welled up in her eyes and she seemed to go into shock "...Did he see you?" 

"Ma'm?" 

"Did...did he see you?"

"I...i think so. we made eye contact...I'm not sure he registered it though..." 

"good...he didn't die alone..." she buried her face in her hands and started sobbing. 

Aizawa was relived that she didn't blame him for not stoping it but he had no idea how to handle someone crying in front of him. It never got easier. "..." he put a hand on her shoulder and she eventually calmed some. 

"He loved heros...my izuku...can i...can i show you his room?" she was barely holding herself together as Aizawa let her lead him up to the boy's room. The eyes following them yet again. He looked around the room and realized that Mrs Midoryia hadn't mentioned the extent to which the boy loved heros. All Might seemed to be his favourite though there were posters and figurines for other heros as well. "Even though he was quirkless all he wanted to do was be a hero..." 

"I see..." Aizawa nodded slowly. The police had found the boy's notebooks in his bag and theroized that it was bullying over his quirk status and goals that lead to his suicide. Based on his mother's words it seemed that theory was correct. 

"I tried to support him but...well you're a pro hero...do you think he could have done it?" 

"with proper training and motivation, yes." His own quirk just leveled the playing feild, he was basically quirkless agaisnt mutant quirks. If he could do then surely anyone else could. Something about the person watching them changed...he looked around for them one last time before following Mrs Midoryia back downstairs. 

Midoryia

He'd followed the strange men inside the house, specifically watching the man with long black hair who'd introduced himself as 'eraserhead'. The man was a famous underground hero, no one had really seen his face as he was underground after all but everyone who kept up with hero's like him knew about his yellow goggles and white scarf. He didn't know how he hadn't realized who the man was sooner! 

He watched the interaction from the doorway. His attention drifting between the three people sitting there. When eraserhead confirmed he was the man that had tried to grab him his attention snapped back to him. He seemed uncomfortable in the situation but was doing his best to comfort his mother...

His attention only drifted away when his mother started crying. He ran over and tried to hug her but of course went through her. He scowled at the timing of it all and just kneeled in front of her, hoping she could 'feel' his presance. 

He followed them up to his room, not wanting to leave his mother's side. He ignored most of their conversation until...

"with proper training and motivation, yes." eraserhead seemed genuine and midoryia's jaw dropped. He wasn't just comforting his mom...he really believed that. 

He believed that midoryia could be a hero regardless...

Chapter Text

Aizawa

TW: several mentions of suicide

Aizawa Shota sat dead to the world at his kitchen counter. It had been days and his husband was patiently waiting for him to tell him everything about what had happened. Hizashi hummed as he flew around the kitchen making some meal that Shota wasn't paying attention to. He was too busy trying to get the words in his head right.

"the boy was quirkless." He finally said. Sure hizashi had read the single news article that was posted about it. He already knew this. But they both knew Shota needed to say it. "He seemed to reach out for my scarf at the last second...I'm not sure if he did or not...might have just been how he fell..."

"Hm." Hizashi passed him a cup of coffee and leaned on the counter across from him, not saying a word and just letting him process as he needed.

"there were tears in his eyes when he hit the ground. He had been crying and...if I'd just gotten there faster-!" Shota's voice cracked. He knew. He knew it wasn't his fault. But that never stopped the thoughts from coming.

"Shota. Darlin." Hizashi's steady voice got him to look up. He met his husband's eyes and took a deep breath.

"I called his school. So his mother wouldn't have to. They didn't care much about it." He waited for the nod from Hizashi to continue. "His mother invited me to the funeral. Said she wished he could have met me. That maybe that would have changed things..."

"Maybe. but she doesn't blame you." He took his hand gently and drew small shapes into his palm.

"No...no she doesn't."

"No one else does either. Because it's not your fault." His unwavering conviction, his steady voice and eyes, every confidant detail about his husband helped him pull himself together.

"Midoryia Izuku. Green hair, the kind of curls that never listen, eyes the shade of green that might have looked like gems if I'd seen them properly...freckles covering the bridge of his nose and over the top of his cheeks..."

"And we'll never forget him Darlin."

"Never..." 

Bakugou

Bakugou was still recovering from the sludge monster when he heard the news. Everything stood still as he processed it. Deku had done it. He'd seen the fucking spiderlilies on his desk over the years, he knew that kids in their class would be happy  when they heard. But nothing had changed had it? Deku put up with it for years. He was fine, knew his place in the world. So why? what had pushed him to..this fucking extreme? 

The officer at their house looked bored when he asked if they had any idea what would make the worthless deku do this. 

His mother denied it.

His father denied it. 

But bakugou stayed silent for a moment. 

"Kid? if you know something speak up." 

"spiderlilies." he felt anger spike inside him. His voice was quiet and fucking weak.

"what was that?" 

"Fucking spiderlilies. On his desk...once a week at a fucking minimum" He forced himself to get louder. Stronger. 

"I see...so he was bullied? Do you know why?" 

"Cause he's-" the words stuck in his throat. worthless, weak, a burden, useless, better off dead and out of their fucking sight, stupid, worthless deku, nothing, words he'd said a thousand times before but now seemed...wrong. "He's quirkless." is all he manages to get out. Those things can't be wrong though! People tell him when he's wrong. He called a girl who could change the color of anything she touched dumb and worthless once but the teacher had scolded him. told her that her quirk was beautful and she'd make an amazing artist of any kind. 

But they never did that when he said it to deku so it couldn't be wrong...could it?

The officer left after listening to the hag talk about how deku had always been a weak child. crying at everything, getting hurt every other day, he was so clumsy and she wished inko had been more gentle with him. But that was wrong too. Because Auntie inko was gentle with him, she'd comforted him when he cried, she'd babied every injury, he'd seen it all and it was so much more gentle then his old hag ever was. And deku wasn't clumsy, bakugou hurt him. 

He slammed the door to his room. Nothing made sense and it was messing with his head. His hands felt clammy and he growled as he wiped them clear of sweat. 

Adults could be wrong, he knew that, Teachers had given him the wrong score on a test before, his mom had hit him before, hell even All Might apologized for not getting him away from that villian sooner. So yes adults could be wrong. They were wrong all the damn time. But that was individually. Most of the adults he knew agreed with him. Deku was worthless. So why was something telling him that was wrong? 

He glared at an action figure of All Might he'd stolen from deku a long time ago. He carefully replayed everything that had happened over in his head. Spiderlilies. Deku had gotten dozens of them. So why now...when he was just about to test for- 

A large explosion shook his room. He remembered it. The one thing that was different. Bakugou had told him to jump. Not to die like he normally did, like he said to everyone, but in detailed words making the message clear. 

GO TAKE A SWAN DIVE OFF THE ROOF AND HOPE FOR A QUIRK IN YOUR NEXT LIFE

He could hear his mother yelling at him for using his quirk in the house but that didn't matter. Because he was what changed. He had never told deku that before, never given him a fucking flower, but the one day he did was the day deku did it. 

He was familiar with anger filling his head, he welcomed it because it made him stronger, but this was different. This anger was bad and it hurt. It filled his head and screamed at him that he was no hero. heros saved people. But he'd just killed his childhood friend. 

Midoryia 

Izuku sat on the roof of their house. It had been a few days since Eraserhead had told his mom what happened and Izuku had been spending his time figuring out how being a ghost works and watching over his mom. She wasn't doing great and for the most part aunt mitsuki had been helping out. She dragged bakugou with her occasionally but he never talked to anyone and just stayed in the kitchen the whole time. He'd watched bakugou for any sign that the boy cared but he just seemed...emotionless. Which was odd in and of itself 

That morning he saw bakugou walking to school and decided to drop by and see if anyone cared that he was gone. He drifted down from the edge of the roof and opted to just float instead of walk. 

Bakugou was still weirdly quiet as the two kids he hung out with ran over. 

"Hey bakugou!" one of them waved to him and grinned "We were wondering, deku hasn't been to school in a while. Did he finally quit?"

"Fuck off" bakugou shoved past them and they just brushed it off. 

"Come on man your parents are friends right?" they walked just behind him. Midoriya always found that interesting, the boys claimed to be his friends dispite what bakugou said about them, but they never acted as his equals. Walking behind him, using his last name with honorifics, they did nothing that suggested they were anything more then lackeys. 

"I said fuck off!!" bakugou turned back to snap at them, "If it's so fucking important to you then ask the god damn teacher!" He picked up the pace leaving his 'friends' to wonder what they said that was so wrong.

Midoryia sighed and looked around as he drifted into the after him. He looked around as they passed through. He was surprised to see his name still on his shoe cubby "huh...odd. Did they not tell the school yet?" He looked around and poked his head in the teacher's lounge and found them holding a meeting before classes started.

"Alright now we were informed yesterday that one of our students, uh..." he read the name on the paper in front of him "Midoryia Izuku, commited suicide. Now we are required to hold a memorial for him, and give a lesson on suicide rates, deppression and reassure the students that they can come to us if anything is wrong. His teacher will give a short speech on his acheivements at the memorial, maybe some of his friends in his class, and we'll have the shrine open for a while afterwards. Any questions?" He looked up and Midoryia almost laughed. Friends? he hadn't had those in a long time and his teachers took every opportunity to tank his grades and reputation! 

"Uh just one. Midoriyia doesn't have any notiable achievements. What am i supposed to say about him?" His old teacher seemed unfazed that his student had just died, midoryia was not surprised. He was probably more annoyed that he had to take time out of his day to write something.

"I don't know make something up. That is your job not mine. You're all dismissed." 

Midoryia drifted after his teacher to the classroom where most of the kids were goofing off. Each using their quirks to do something dumber then the last. Bakugou who was normally working on his precision explosions was sitting on top of one of his lackey's desks and ignoring everyone.  

"Alright students. I have an anouncment so all of you calm down. Your classmate Midoryia Izuku was found dead a few days ago. The school will be holding a memorial for him if any of you wish to give a short speech about him please see me after class." He said it so calmly the class didn't fully process it for a few seconds. It was bakugou who spoke first. 

"He wasn't just 'found dead' you fucking idiot he jumped off a shitty roof!" Midoyia looked back at him in shock.

The teacher sighed "That was not part of the report given to the school." liar "but thank you for sharing. please take your seat so we can start the class." 

"Why the fuck don't you give a shit!? Your student commited fucking suicide! We shouldn't be having class!" bakugou jumped off the desk and midoryia stared at him like he'd never seen him before.

"Of course I care but high school exams are coming up and we can't let the rest of you fall behind." 

"Hell. No!" Bakugou stormed out of the classroom letting off an explosion at the door and marching down the hall. Midoryia floating off after him in confusion. 

He wasn't sure what was going on in bakugou's head. He was used to knowing what the blond was thinking, he had a pretty one track mind, but this was new. New behaviour that didn't fit what midoryia knew about the boy. He followed him up to the roof where he watched him sit on a bench next to the high fence. 

"fucking deku..." bakugou muttered more under his breath that midoryia couldn't catch and he drifted closer. "my fucking fault..." 

Midoryia froze. Bakugou thought it was his fault...it was...partially...but he didn't want that sitting on his shoulders! He watched bakugou aggressively wipe away the tears that were pooling in his eyes. He panicked, tried to reach out for the boy, he'd managed to grab a few things in his room maybe he could-

His hand landed on bakugou's shoulder and the boy flinched. 

Chapter Text

I love the ideas behind this story but I just have no idea how to keep going. So until I figure it out, which might take awhile, I'm going to work on my other story and let this one sit on a back burner. 

I'm glad you guys have liked it and I'm sorry if this is disappointing. I just figured putting it on hiatus was better then just not updating. 

Please don't comment anything along the lines of 'can't wait till the hiatus is over' or 'waiting for hiatus to end' as it just puts pressure on me and will make me less likely to come back to this.