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Eddie wasn't eavesdropping, he wouldn't do that.
He liked giving Christopher his space, especially when he was with Buck.
Buck was Chris' safe space and if Eddie was being honest, it was also his. Still, he never expected to hear it.
"I love you." Chris sounded sure and confident.
"You do?" Buck's voice was clearly filled with emotion at that confirmation and Eddie wanted to punch anyone who ever made Buck feel like he didn't deserve love.
"Yes. That is why you need to ask Dad out! I'm okay with it. I would love that!"
Eddie almost choked in his saliva at those words and he was sure that Buck was just as shocked as him.
His beautiful blue eyes were probably wide open with the revelation of Chris' actual intentions.
Eddie took a step back, his breathing hitching a bit. He was aware of his own feelings after so many sessions with Frank, but was he that obvious that Christopher noticed, or was his son just eager to have a family? With Buck.
Buck had clearly reached a point of acknowledging that he wanted stability, he had shared that with Eddie. That soon he would like to settle and have a family.
Eddie could give him all that and more, he would provide Buck with all the love he truly deserves.
“Hey, boys it’s getting late.” Eddie made sure to do plenty of noise before reaching the living room, trying to pretend that he hadn’t heard that conversation even if his cheeks still felt hot.
“But, Dad…” Christopher stared at his father with the biggest puppy eyes he could pull off.
Eddie couldn’t help but smile at his kid before ruffling his curly air. One glance at Buck and he could see that the other was smiling as well, his cheeks colored in pink making Buck’s birthmark stand out.
“Don’t you think that you have spent enough time with Buck today at the zoo?” Eddie tried to argue, keeping his voice calm and patient. “Besides, aren’t you too cool for hanging out with a bunch of old people like us?” He teased.
“Who is old here?!” Buck gasped pretending to be offended which only made Christopher laugh.
“No one.” Eddie tried to pass his smirk as innocent as possible before turning back to Chris. “Maybe share Buck a little with me?” He said the last part a bit lower like it was a secret even if he was sure that Buck could hear it.
Eddie kept his eyes on his son as the boy left to brush his teeth. Looking back at Buck, Eddie’s heart started to race just like he had expected it.
Buck sat sideways on the couch, like he truly felt at home there, he had his head lowered but Eddie knew exactly what he was trying to hide. What should never be hidden in Eddie’s opinion, Buck’s smile was one of the most beautiful ones he has ever seen, it felt like sunshine coming through the window to warm you up on a lazy sunday afternoon. Warming you up from the inside out.
Eddie might have been staring for too long and too lost in his own mind because when he blinked and opened his eyes Buck was staring at him in confusion.
“Do you want to stay for a beer?” Eddie hoped his voice didn’t sound as strained and deep as it did to his ears.
“Yeah, sure.”
It didn’t take long for them to be sat alone on the couch, Chris already tucked into bed while the adults enjoyed a quiet moment. There was a nature documentary on tv that neither of them was paying attention to.
Eddie would let his eyes roam over to Buck every now and then, noticing that there was something wrong. Buck usually wasn’t this quiet, he had always something to say about what they were watching but instead, he was focused on the bottle of beer in his hands. More specifically peeling off the label of it.
The drink was probably already warm in his hands.
“What’s wrong?” Eddie’s voice was slow but it was enough for Buck to flinch.
“Nothing-” Buck tried but gave up right away on lying to him.
Eddie moved on the couch so his knee was pressed against Buck’s tight, somehow they always found a way for their bodies to be touching. Either at home or on the job.
“Hey, it’s okay.”
Buck set the bottle down on the coffee table before relaxing against the couch, his arm stretched over the back of it, now his full body facing towards Eddie.
“Chris asked me something…” Buck played with a thread of couch. “I don’t know if I can do it…”
“Buck…” Even if Eddie felt his heart shatter at this revelation he was still there for his best friend. He knew exactly what Chris had asked.
Eddie knew that if it was a few years before maybe Buck would have done it just to please the people he loves. To make them happy. He still does everything he can to make everyone he cares about happy.
“You know I would do anything for him right?” Buck finally looked up at him instead of watching his hands. His bright blue eyes with unshed tears, the white of his eyes turning red as he tried to keep them from falling.
“I do.” Eddie reached out, hand gently wrapping around Buck’s wrist, the one on the back of the couch. “Chris will understand.”
And Eddie would learn to live with it, that what he felt for Buck would never be reciprocal. His heart broke into tiny pieces in between them, on the pillows of the couch that Buck would never choose.
“You don’t even…” Buck sighed, taking the heel of his free hand against his eyes to take away any tears that might have escaped him. “I don’t want to ruin things.”
“You won’t.” Eddie promised, his thumb brushing along Buck’s pulse point of his wrist. Feeling the rapid heartbeat there.
“You can’t promise that.”
“I can. At least with us. There is nothing you can do that will ruin things with me or Chris.”
“Eddie…” The name fall out of Buck’s tongue with so much emotion, like he wanted to say everything that was going on in his head with just one word. Like he couldn’t believe that he had this.
“It’s true…” Eddie noticed how Buck looked at him in confusion. “Chris. He does love you or he wouldn’t say it. I do need to talk to him about using that confession like that. But he does.”
Buck looked at him with wide eyes, quickly pulling away from Eddies touch like he was being burned.
“I…you heard that?” Buck sounded just as scared as he looked.
“I did, I didn’t mean to.” Eddie sighed, putting some space between them. Already picking up the little pieces of his broken heart and storing them in a box where it wouldn’t be ever be touched again. “I get it. And I am proud of you. I know you love Chris just as much he loves you but you don’t have to do what he asks if you don’t want to.”
“What?”
There was a moment of quiet between them, everything settling down. Sinking in. Eddie’s heart beating so damn hard that it made everything else disappear. Until Buck was reaching for him, it was just a brush of fingers on Eddie’s hand but it was enough to make him let go of the breath he was holding.
“It’s not like that, Eddie. I…shit.” Buck closed his eyes for a few seconds before blinking them open again, a hint of fear there. “I’m scared that if I do it…I will screw things up.”
“Buck, I told you. There is nothing you can do that will screw things up.” Eddie couldn’t help but smile. He looked at their hands which were now intertwined.
“I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t do that. You and Chris are like…” Buck choked up a bit on those words.
“Your safe space?” Eddie offered and saw the acknowledgment on Buck’s face, his lips curling into a smile.
“Exactly.”
“You are the same. For Chris and me.”
“Really?” There was a bit more confident in Buck’s smile, his eyes shining a bit more, and no more tears threatening to fall.
“So, don’t you have something to ask me?” Eddie licked his lips expectantly, his heart was slowly but surely getting back together with every little thing that Buck was giving him.
The soft squeeze of their hands, the soft smiles and gazes. They were more than fine.
“Just because this amazing kid asked me to and I can’t say no to him.” Buck teased back before they got closer.
Buck’s free hand resting right above Eddie’s knee. Their face were so close that Eddie could count Buck’s eyelashes, he could see all the shades of blue in the other man’s eyes. Just everything about Buck was beautiful, especially his heart and soul.
“Eddie Diaz, will you go out with me?” Eddie could still see a bit of nervousness behind Buck’s words.
“Yes.”