Work Text:
armadillidiidae
Do you think, like,
The bugs know
That they’re bugs?
What are you
On about?
Like, I know
I’m human,
I know you’re human.
I think? You smell
Like shit, so maybe
You’re a shit monster–
Very funny.
Thank you!
So anyway I just wonder,
Ponder, really, if the bugs
Know what we know.
Probably not,
Their brains aren’t
That's big.
Like yours.
I’m going to pummel you.
You fucking wish you could.
I definitely could.
I,
Am a man of war.
Got muscles and scars n shit.
Ladies love it.
You, sing sad songs
And snot all over yourself.
I could handle you
Easily.
Hey, I fought too!
And you sucked.
Yeah, I did.
I’m sorry.
Didn’t ask you
To be sorry.
Okay, but
I still am.
You still didn’t fully
Explain the philosophy
Of bugs to me.
You don’t have to
Change the subject.
Christ, man,
Just talk about
The bugs!
Fine! Okay!
No! I don’t think
Pill bugs,
Or any other bugs, know
That they’re bugs.
They’re actually
Rolley polleys–
Whatever!
I don’t think they’re
Capable of that.
…
…
You could have just
Said that.
I thought you wanted to talk
About home
And stuff. Stuff
That I did.
I don’t think everything
Means something else.
The war–home stuff is just stuff.
Bugs are just bugs.
It’s not to me.
It’s not like
I was miserable
The whole time.
Hm.
If I was,
I probably wouldn’t
Bring it up. Not
With you.
But I did.
Why?
Because I needed
To prove that I could easily
Fucking clart you.
Odds I win a fight with you?
Odds are low–
Ow! You shit!
Not my hair–
Jesus, I did it
This morning!
Wait,
You do your hair
In the morning?
Don’t even start–
Oh I’m starting–
Don’t–
Tell me I won!
Fucking– let go
Of my hair!
Say, “Tommy
Is the biggest man
In the world, and I,
Wilbur Soot,
Lost this fight.”
Fine! I lost!
I lost!
Good.
Stay in your place,
Loser.
Gladly.
…
…
I think
Bugs can think.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Then they’re nothing
Like you.
Oh, fuck off.
Hey, it’s like you said.
Bugs are just bugs.
Yeah,
Bugs are just bugs.
And you’re just
Fucking ugly.
Gee, thanks.
Love you too.
Anytime.