Chapter Text
They had kidnapped a child.
A literal fucking child.
He had kidnapped a literal fucking child.
What was wrong with him?
The needle in his arm had left a sting, a drop of blood trying to find its way through the scarred skin of his elbow, entirely of his own making. The couch around him seemed to swallow him up with how deep Dabi was trying to sink into it, through it, right through the couch and into the ground. That would have been ideal, but instead he tried to focus on the rough cushions tingling against the few pieces of skin that still carried sensation, while his brain alongside his body began slowing down. Alongside the rest of the fucking world.
Calmness swept through his body while the world around him began to tilt like a spiral, lights seeming graspable, and colours so intense he could almost taste them. A giggle left his lips as he closed his eyes.
The distortion was a welcomed illusion, as Dabi had absolutely no interest at this moment to deal with the twisted way his thoughts were running. If he let them in, he could still see those mismatched eyes staring at him, filled with hatred. Disgust. Recognition? Probably not.
Dabi laughed. Wouldn’t it be funny if his baby brother found out he was still alive the same moment he kidnapped his friend? Dramatic irony? Dabi wasn’t entirely sure what those words meant, but they felt fitting in a way.
Something kicked his shin. Rude.
Opening his eyes to the assault of colours and lights he raised a numb hand to shield his face, blinking up at the halo surrounding their ceiling window. There was mould around it. Or were those moving insects? Perhaps it was a quirk? He was fairly certain he would have noticed a ball of black moving insects before, so clearly they had only just appeared, likely to spy on them.
Reaching his hand out, he fully intended on shooting a burst of flames out, cremating the flies or spiders or whatever they were, but instead, he felt a pair of cool fingers close around his wrist. The flames went wild, or perhaps they didn’t, Dabi wasn’t quite sure. One moment the ceiling was wooden brown, then it was smoked black and someone lightly hit the back of his head.
“Oi! Dabi. Cut it out!”
Letting his head fall back against the cushions, Dabi blinked up at the figure in front of him, too blurry to full make them out, but the voice was fairly recognisable Spinner.
“What?”
The hand which had so rudely caught his wrist before now moved from his field of vision, only to appear again right in front of his face, gripping his chin with careful fingers. Hissing at the contact, he tried to turn away, but Spinner pulled his face closer until their eyes locked and all Dabi could do was look away awkwardly.
“What are you on?” He asked and Dabi shrugged. Did it matter?
“Yes it matters. I need to know if you’re going to OD on our couch again,” Spinner answered and oh, he had asked that out loud earlier.
Finally feeling coordinated enough to swat the hand away from his face, Dabi pushed himself up a little further on the couch.
“Not gonna OD on ya. Didn’t have enough for that anyways.”
He could feel Spinner’s eyes burn into the side of his face, but he refused to turn back and see his reaction. The disappointment was already seeping into the air, aiming to suffocate him in all the wrong ways.
“I don’t like that this is your argument on why you didn’t OD. But okay. Listen… I’ll get you a glass of water and then we’ll text Tomura that you won’t make it to the bar, okay?”
Feeling his semi-consciousness flicker in and out of existence, Dabi turned towards him again, rubbing his face to bring back a semblance of awareness.
“Why the fuck does he want me at the fucking bar?”
Pushing himself to his feet with popping knees, Spinner began moving to their kitchen corner, keeping his eyes firmly locked on his teammate. It wouldn’t have been the first time the lizard man had to run after their burning trashcan of a person when the trip went south and his fear brought new swiftness to his legs.
“I guess he wants you to watch the explosive kid. Also, none of us like you being here on your own while we’re all at the bar. For obvious reasons,” He answered, gesturing towards Dabi’s whole self and Dabi groaned, running a hand down his sweaty face.
Right. Yeah. The kid. Which he had kidnapped. In front of his baby brother.
Fuuuuuck.
“Yeah. Sure uh, give me… ten minutes,” He slurred, before slowly pushing himself off the couch, ignoring how Spinner stepped back into the living room upon his movement.
“Are you sure? Dude it’s okay. I’ll text Tomura and then you’ll sleep it off after I’ve pumped a shit ton of water into you.”
Dabi waved him off. He swayed when he finally got both feet below himself, then he gestured towards the bathroom.
“I’m just gonna… ya know. Be right back.”
Spinner nodded hesitantly and even though Dabi made several rude gestures to get him to back the fuck off, he still accompanied him towards the bathroom door, his hands cautiously raised. This gestured had become their own little dance over the past months, perhaps even year. Dabi would sway, Spinner would follow.
But hey, this time he made it into the bathroom without incident and even promised to leave the door unlocked, although the mere thought of possibly undressing without the safety of a lock between him and another person made his skin crawl.
For a long moment, perhaps even several minutes, he just leaned against the door and stared blankly into the void of his own mind. Silence. Was that too much to ask for? Silence all around, without the voices in his head screaming alongside those of the real people around him. He just needed to forget the angry look in those mismatched eyes, how they burned his skin deeper than his own flames ever could manage. Forget the guilt eating away at him equally as strong as the hunger. Metaphorical and literal hunger which never seemed to leave him alone these days.
It was almost funny. Feeling apathetic and guilty at the same time.
Dramatic irony… Perhaps he’d been onto something earlier.
Dabi sighed, before pushing himself off the door and stumbling towards the sink. He brushed the sweaty strains of hair from his face and cringed at how fried it felt from all the dyeing and hairspray. As his eyes met themselves in the mirror, he felt like throwing up and laughing at the same time.
He looked utterly miserable.
And dead.
Not just dead on his feet, but he could see it in his own eyes. The lack of life. The apathy.
He sighed, turning up the handle of the sink, waiting patiently until the water managed to force its way past the chalk clogging the tap. It wasn’t much which eventually drizzled through, but it had to be enough to wake him up.
He looked up into the mirror after the water had hit his face. Yeah wow, worse than before.
He needed a shower, he decided, as he watched the droplets of water draw lines through the layers of ash covering his skin and hair and clothes. Dabi sighed deeply and very carefully started to peel the dirty clothes off his thin body, trying and failing not to irritate his already loose staples in the meantime.
It took him about twenty minutes in the end to finish his shower. He’d slipped once and dissociated twice, but in the end, he emerged from the bathroom with wet hair, a violently red bruise on his shoulder and eyes that looked slightlymore awake.
Well… who was he kidding. He still looked drugged out of his mind, but perhaps he looked threatening enough to keep a fucking teenager quiet for a few hours. Perhaps he could sit in silence, play some Angry Birds on his phone and enjoy the quiet terror he’d be gifted in return.
*
“THE FUCK YOU GUYS WANT FROM ME!? HUH? YOU SO FUCKING STUPID TO THINK YOU CAN TURN ME INTO ONE OF YOU CREEPS AND MAKE ME JOIN YOUR SORRY EXCUSE OF HOMELESS FUCK-UPS OR WHAT?!”
Dabi immediately wanted to turn around and leave the bar again. He hadn’t even taken two steps into the entrance area and yet the boy’s voice was already threatening to split his head apart as well as alert every morally superior person with superhuman hearing in the surrounding area. Why had no one put a muzzle on the kid yet?
“YOU FUCKING KNOW I’LL BLOW YOUR FACES OFF! JUST TAKE THESE OFF AND YOU’LL FIND OUT JUST HOW FRIENDLY I CAN BE! I DARE YOU! COME ON YOU FUCKING COWARDS!”
He rubbed his eyes and swayed over towards the counter, where Tomura had his head lying on the rood, Magne stared at the wall with a dead expression on her face, Twice looked like he was crying while holding his eyes, Toga had her headphones in and her music up far too loud, and Kurogiri was hovering impartially next to all of them.
“The fuck’s going on here?” Dabi asked as a greeting and Tomura’s head snapped up to meet his eyes. He looked as tired as Dabi felt and he certainly couldn’t fault the other, considering his own eyes twitched in irritation as there was another furious scream from behind their side door.
“You’re high,” Tomura stated, not judging, but with the clear undertone of caution. Dabi’s eyes skittered to the side as irrational shame flooded through him as if a dams gates had been forced open after years of inactivity.
“And?” He asked defensively and out of the corner of his eyes, he could make out his team mates sharing knowing glances of concern.
“Can you keep it together to watch the kid for a few hours? We got business to handle.”
He shrugged. “Sure. Shouldn’t be too hard.”
“HEY I’M TAKING TO YOU FUCKERS! COME IN HERE AND LET’S HAVE A CHAT! I’LL BLOW THOSE FUCKING HANDS OFF YOUR FACE YOU FUCKING CREEP!”
Tomura raised an eyebrow as if he was daring Dabi to repeat his statement. When the other man stayed stubbornly quiet, he mumbled an exasperated “right” under his breath, before sliding off his chair. While the other League members began gathering their stuff to shuffle after their leader, Dabi turned towards the door leading to the back room. Before he could sway his way over however, a hand closed around his arm and made him flinch in startled surprise. He blinked and looked up, his eyes struggling to focus on Magne as she smiled and pulled her hand away.
“Sorry. You good?” She asked and for a moment, Dabi was confused. Then he remembered the drugs pumping through his system and he made an “ah” sound of realisation.
“Yeah, totally. Now fuck off to that job of yours.”
Magne chuckled in a sisterly affection he hadn’t realised he’d been missing ever since Yumi had last placed her hand on his. “You have fun too. Call me if things change though, alright?”
Trying to downplay the way his throat went dry in warm confusion, he just hummed and turned away again. He wouldn’t call her. But the sentiment was nice.
“HEY!” The kid screamed again and Dabi kicked the door open.
“Fuck’s sake kid! Shut the fuck up or I’ll shut you up!” He grumbled and even though the fear he’d been hoping for seemed tragically missing, the teenager actually had the decency to at shut his mouth as confusion filled his expression. He most likely had expected Tomura with his hands or perhaps Kurogiri with his smoke, but instead, he’d been greeted by a man swaying on his feet, with dirty clothes and a spine that hurt too badly to even attempt to walk straight today. Surely, he must be looking incredibly intimidating, huh?
“See? Not that hard,” He added, and apparently those words were enough to full the boy back from the stupor he had fallen into, as his mouth opened and his screaming started anew.
“Oh hi fucker! Let me go! What the fuck do you even want from me? I’m not going to join your fucking stupid gang of high school drop-outs! How often do I have to repeat myself? I’m. Not. Going. To. FUCKING JOIN!” He yelled and the staples at Dabi’s jaw pulled in agony as his face turned into a grimace and he raised his hand to brush away the drying stains of hair.
“I know,” He finally said as he sunk down onto the only other chair still remaining in the room. It wasn’t comfortable or stable, but what in this sorry excuse for a hide-out actually was. In front of him, the kid’s demeanour changed, as confusion took over his expression once more.
“Then why the fuck are you assholes keeping me here? Just go ahead and kill me or let me the fuck out of here.”
Dabi raised his heavy head to study him. He sure had a fun vocabulary for a hero in training. Brushing his hair back again, he would have kept repeating the motion as a nervous gesture, had his arms not joined the weight of his head, feeling too heavy to be raised, yet too jittery to stay put all together. He felt dizzy, as the world around him began to slow again in the uncomfortable combination of dissociation meeting reality. Turning his head, he let his eyes roam through the small storage room they had the kid locked up inside. It was a stupid place to keep a prisoner, made infinitely worse by the fact they had been running low on supplies for the past weeks, leaving the room bare and sad.
A water bottle to his left caught his attention and Dabi reached to unscrew it with shaking fingers. It was already half empty and the water tasted of plastic and stale air, but it was better than the copious amounts of alcohol he had pumped into his system throughout the past few weeks. At the beginning, they had sent Kurogiri out towards various grocery shops in the night to restock their supplies of clean water and cans of food, but the break-ins had made it onto national news far too quickly, with heroes and reporters alike debate on what a water-shortage might be able to tell them about the League and their current status. It drew too much attention. So instead, they had just given up on water except if the dizziness took over and their body didn’t mind the taste of chalk any longer.
“HEY ASSHOLE I’M TALKING TO YOU!”
The kid’s voice tore him out of his thoughts quite rudely and Dabi blinked. When had he closed his eyes? And why was he staring at the ceiling now? Straightening his neck, he realised how his head had lulled backwards, as his body had begun to slip lower and lower on the uncomfortable chair.
With a sigh, he pulled himself upright again. “What? Right. Uh…”
The kid studied him, then scoffed as realisation replaced confusion. “Are you fucking stoned right now?”
Dabi chuckled. “Better,” He mumbled and watched as the kid’s frown deepened, while his anger became interlaced with something else, something Dabi couldn’t quite pinpoint yet.
“I hope you fucking overdose on that shit.”
Dabi hummed, nodding, as a soft smile spread across his lips. “Same.”
That single word seemed to knock some of that anger from the kid’s chest, as he blinked in rapid confusion. “W-what the fuck dude?”
Dabi laughed, the sound raspy to his own ears as the water hadn’t done much to help the dry desert his throat had gradually turned into. Taking another sip, he tilted his head, studying the kid who’s name was still evading his thoughts.
“Wanna know why you’re still here?” He asked and the kid’s eyes widened.
“Obviously, asshole.”
Dabi leaned forward as if sharing a secret between friends. A grin tore his staples apart.
“Because we have no fucking clue what we’re doing.”