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Sleep never told Vessel why he’d been the one chosen, not even over the others, because that was not who Sleep had been picking from, but from all the rest of humanity, and somehow out of all of them, Sleep had found him-
“You base your worth on something that matters not arwr. Why do you vex yourself so?” Vessel shrunk under the gentle tone, wishing that he was able to hide his thoughts from Sleep just a little more. He didn’t need his god commenting on his inability to open up.
Sleep sighed, plucking Vessel up with one of his many hands, and shifted, taking what seemed to be his most humanoid form. It was still incomprehensible to Vessel outside of his dreamscape, an image that vanished from his mind the moment he woke up.
“My Vessel…you were human once, and I know this. But you must remember that you are human no longer. I have shaped you into a different kind of being, and in doing so, changed what you need to survive. You must let them in, it is not a politeness to them, or a kindness, but a necessity for you, that you establish solid bonds with each of them. You choose them already, claimed them as your own, so why hesitate now?”
Vessel grimaced, but he would not lie, even by omission, to Sleep. “They will leave. One day they will leave and I will be alone again. I don’t-”
Vessel ducked his head, fiddling with his robe, twisting it between his fingers.
“I don’t remember what my life was like before, I know I’m not ready for that yet, and I am not asking for the memories back, but,” he paused again, but Sleep said nothing, and all Vessel could hear was the gentle hum of a crescendoing lullaby that drifted off in the distance. “I remember the ache of being alone, of having someone or someones, and them leaving and I was alone, so, desperately, alone, and I don’t want that again! If I, if I keep things as they are, when they leave, it will hurt less.”
“You lie to yourself.” Sleep said, not as a chastisement, but as an observation. There was no judgment in his voice, there never was, just understanding and compassion. “They are already yours. Denying it will not make it any less true, and will not soothe the ache when they leave. And yes, they will eventually, nothing can last forever, but do not forget that you might be the one to leave first.”
Vessel said nothing, turning his face away from his god’s words as if it would make change their veracity.
“Your ability to love, to lay claim and hold tight, to defend and protect others, at the expense of yourself- that is why I picked you arwr.” Vessel turned to his god, mouth agape and mind blank with confusion.
“But you do them little credit. I will command this, so listen well my chosen. Do you listen?”
“I listen.” Vessel murmured.
“Let them in, and forge strong bonds with them. It will ache, but you must remember, they are each a part of you, and you only hurt yourself, and them, in denying that. Do you heed my words?” Vessel nodded.
“I heed your words.”
“You are so full of love and kindness. Turn that inward occasionally, yes?”
Vessel nodded again, shifting and turning as he woke up, an unknown, but familiar warmth pressed up against his back. He knew without looking that it was iii, the other man always so affectionate and clingy.
Vessel had listened and would heed his god’s words. He would crack himself open and scrape himself raw, just for the chance to shelter the others and give them a refuge they could always return to. They already had his heart, Sleep was right about that, but perhaps it was time to let them know that.