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She was a secret.
People knew the queens name was lydia but she was still a secret.
She didn’t go out in public. The people had never even heard her voice. She was seemingly a ghost.
It was for safety. Delphine was out there with followers and if any weakness was shown in the monarchy she’d strike. Let’s just say semors citizens found marrying a non-troll to be weakness…
Lydia occasionally got to go back to her dimension and see her family, go to ninjago and even take the kids there but…she couldn’t go anywhere else. She’d always been able to do as she pleased and go where she wanted but now…she was trapped. She’s glad she married semor- she loves him. She loves their kids but…she hated being there.
The castle wasn’t home. It was cold and empty and dark. She sucked it up for her husband and kids- she’d never let the kids know how out of place she felt and semor was so stressed and tired all the time…she didn’t wanna make him feel bad.
Today was especially bad. The kids were in lessons, semor had to be away for a council summons and she was all alone. Guards were found in larger rooms but the halls and personal quarters were empty. She had gone to her and semors room to read…try to push away the intrusive thoughts she was dealing with.
She sat down in her reading chair with a book she’d been needing to finish and as she got halfway through a chapter…she realized she didn’t remember when she last took her meds. she shrugged it off and flipped the page.
“...youre such a coward…” a familiar voice whispered in lydia’s ear. Lydia took a breath and kept reading. “what happened to doing what you wanted and not letting anyone tell you otherwise.”I have responsibilities, great grandmother...not that youde know anything about that.” lydia spat out the last part, flipping a page.
Mei towered over lydia, standing in front of her with a scowl on her face. “responsibility yes. Manners not so much.” she sneered, crossing her arms.
“theyre more important than me doing what I want.” lydia mumbled, struggling to pay attention to her book.
“youre a queen act like it and speak up- enunciate for reapers sake.” mei scolded, slamming a hand down on the arm of the chair. Lydia flinched, closing her book with a quick motion of her hands. Her eyes looked down at her lap, zoning out on the books cover.
“...you cant even look up?” mei’s voice dropped a bit, leaning towards lydia. Lydia’s hands shook slightly. “…youre not the strong young woman I knew all those years ago…im dissapointed. Stuck in here like a caged bird.” mei’s words were the harshest they had been in a decade.
The weight of lydia’s lack of freedom fell on her hard. She held her head in one hand and took a shaky breath. “I need you to leave…youre not here youre- I didn’t take my meds on time. This isnt happening.”
“...I may not be here…but you are.think about that, dear.”
Lydia looked up ready to snap at mei but she was gone. Hot tears ran down lydias cheeks as she stared at the blank space her great grandmother left. She chewed her lip so it didn’t tremble as her nails dug into the book cover. They heated up, scorching the leather cover.
The tears got heavier, her breathing became ragged and her hair caught fire. Lydias vision blurred as her weeping echoed throughout the room. The book fell from her lap and hands to the floor making a thud and her hands flew to her mouth to keep herself quiet.
She hardly heard the door open and the old english voice come along side it. “thee youngins are near done with lessons- great godess whats got thee so unwell?” ember rushed over to lydia and knelt besides the chair.
She took notice of lydias on fire hair and gasped. “oh dear…” she sighed before grabbing lydias hands and guided her to the large bathroom, setting her down on a stool and turning on the faucet to the tub. “now try to regain breath, highness.” ember said softly, turning to lydia and holding her hands again.
“m-my mother says crying does me no good b-but I just-” lydia’s voice was strained and her vocal chords were messy with mucus, distorting her voice. “now now tears fall for a reason…” ember smiled.
After lydia got undressed she sunk herself into the tub, extinguishing her hair with little show. Ember sat by the tub and rested her arms on the edge. “let thyself feel…it’ll do you some good.”
Lydia nodded and kept quietly crying, occasionally saying something about feeling trapped. She kept the tub warm with her powers until the door of the bedroom opened and semors heavy footsteps were heard. Ember got up and left the bathroom but not before smiling at lydia.
A few minutes later semor walked in, a worried look on his face. He put on a soft smile when he saw lydia. “hello…sorry I came back late.” he apologized, voice as quiet as possible. He walked over slowly and knelt down by the bath.
He knew something was wrong. Her hair was singed, her eyes were red and so was her nose. “it’s okay.” the brokenness of her voice was crushing. Semor brushed wet hair from lydias face and kissed her forehead. “what’s goin on, firefly?” he asked, placing his chin atop her head so she didn’t need to keep eye contact.
“...I love you, I love the kids but…” her throat closed and she couldn’t say anything, eyes welling with tears again. “I know…this place isnt…quite home. Im so sorry…” semor whispered, reaching up to hold lydias head to his shoulder.
“what else?” semor asked, running a hand through lydias damp hair.
Lydia thought for a moment before saying “I hate how cold it is…”.
“and?”
“i hate the counselors calling me a whore all the time.” she huffed.
“i hate that too. And?”
“...I miss my mother. I miss my sisters and my brother- I miss my dogs and my cats and my tower- I miss the monastery and my friends.” the tears fell again, her arms holding onto semors shoulders. She hiccuped and shuddered as she cried into his neck.
Semor was glad lydia couldn’t see how heartbroken he looked. He cant stand seeing her so upset. He hates how restricted they both are. He was always restricted though, he’s used to it. Lydia had always been so free and independent before they got married.
“...I’m gonna do something about this. I don’t know when..im not sure how but I promise we wont be trapped forever.” he wrapped his arms around lydia, holding her gently. “do you pinky promise?” lydia asked, nuzzling into his neck. “I pinky promise…” semor smiled, his thumb rubbing her shoulder.