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Hiori felt sick the minute his parents mentioned an invitation to blue lock .
“Alright! You can aim to represent Japan at once! Those who believe do get saved!
“This is great, Yochan! This is a big chance!”
Hiori wanted to puke, he felt his chest tightening, and sweat trickling down his forehead.
Please
Don’t expect anything from me anymore, it's sickening.
Hiori arrived at “blue lock.” As he made his way into the building he recognized one face, Karasu Tabito.
He’d admired him as long as he could remember. Ever since he’d joined the youth team. He always wanted to play soccer with Karasu and the other kids, but he was stuck with the strict training regiments from his father.
He’d remembered the conversation the two had only a few weeks prior.
The two were on the field, getting some extra practice in.
“Hiori Yo, you are extraordinary!” He complimented, he faced Hiori showing him one of his typical smirks.
“Uhm, thanks a lot, Karasu-ya.”
“You’re a genius. Hiori. You have a natural physical ability, a well honed ball touch, a great soccer IQ, and that left legged kicking is really hot.”
“Hot?”
“But in the end, your resolve in front of the goal is mediocre. Are you playing with your mind and body out of sync? You don't like soccer. Do you ?”
He knew .
“...I see. Karasu-kun, do you like being 'expected'?” Hiori asked, "All my life, I've been "expected"... that's probably why I don't like soccer.”
“How mediocre. Y'know, you don't have to worry about what other people think of you, you just have to "expect" from yourself first. You have to be excited about yourself... because that's the only way to start anything, idiot.”
Karasu was facing his back towards Hiori, blocking the sun, rays peeking through, around his body, crows were seen flying in the distance as he waved goodbye.
Ever since that day—that conversation, had left Hiori thinking. He was stuck on what Karasu said about expecting yourself first.
How was he supposed to do that? His parents' entire marriage relied on Hiori’s capabilities at soccer, and the skills he needed to become the greatest striker in the world.
If he wasn’t good enough his entire family would fall apart.
During his time at blue lock Hiori found himself enjoying it a lot more than home.
That says a lot since blue lock was practically a prison.
He hasn’t talked to Karasu since he greeted him the first day at blue lock, but that conversation wasn't anything important; they exchanged hellos, said they were shocked but also not shocked that the other was there, and that it was good to at least know one person.
Hiori hadn't lost yet, he'd climbed his way up, and he was now in third selection.
Being around Nanase and Isagi was an escape for Hiori. He felt so comfortable around them, away from the many egoists—assholes who took their anger out on every person around them.
“Good job with tryouts!” The three shouted, meeting their hands for high-fives.
The three watched the second match before the two left to get dinner then head to the baths.
Hiori stayed behind. He found the monitor room peaceful. At this time most people were in the cafeteria or baths getting ready for bed.
Hiori liked the silence, he doesn’t get a lot of alone time being at blue lock. You sleep in the same quarters with other people, you bathe in the same room, and you eat in the same cafeteria as everyone else.
The door slid open as someone entered the room. Closing soon after, they placed a pillow on the floor and took a seat next to Hiori.
“Hope I’m not bothering ya.”
Hiori recognized that voice, he recognized that hair that always had too much gel in it, and he recognized that face with the mole under his eye.
“You’re not, Karasu-ya.”
They played against each other in the first game today.
The two sat next to each other in silence, the monitor displaying scenes from the games earlier. It was also the only light source in the room, both of them illuminated by the blue lights portrayed from the screen.
“You looked like you were having more fun.” Karasu commented, breaking the silence. The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Two people who had known each other practically forever, yet they haven’t talked in such a long time.
“I guess.”
“Those expectations are still wearing you down aren’t they?”
Hiori sighed. He wanted to ignore every thought in his mind, every emotion that was coursing through his body, he wanted to ignore the urge to shout and scream everything that had been buried deep in his throat.
“You can talk to me ‘ya know.”
He didn’t want to. Yet he did, he lied, he wanted to so badly, he needed to throw all of this baggage away, and get it out of his heart—his mind.
Hiori opened his mouth and all the emotions began to pour out of his mouth like a waterfall, “I feel like I’m chained to a block of cement, thrown into the ocean, sinking lower and lower, and I can do anything—everything's out of my control. Their expectations—the burdens they threw on top of me only make me sink faster and faster.” Hiori was rambling at this point he wasn’t embarrassed any longer, it felt so good to get all of this off of his chest, the urge to throw up, the constant headaches, the massive weight on top of him all being lifted, of course they weren’t completely gone, but they were definitely not as strong as before.
“Being away from my parents… being at blue lock was like a breath of fresh air , like a bird leaving its nest, a bird being freed from its cage. Although the expectations are still here. For once in my life I was able to breathe.”
Hiori couldn’t stop the words continued to spill out of his mouth. He felt like a fire destroying everything in its path until there’s nothing left, and the longer it goes on the larger it continues to grow, and even if you try to put it out it grows larger and more monstrous until that initial spark dies out, and there’s enough strength to fend it off.
He could feel the emotions releasing themself, freeing themself from his body, the tears that he tried so hard to suppress fell down his cheeks, his heart pounded hard, he could feel his head pounding. It was all too much at once.
Warmth . Warmth overtook his body as he was engulfed into a hug.
“I’m sorry.”
A meaningless apology. He had nothing to apologize for yet it felt so relieving. It was a relief to have someone listen to you—to take in every word you say, and at least attempt to understand what emotions took over you.
“I’m so sorry, Hiori.”
If it wasn’t an emotional moment Hiori would have probably made a snarky remark, “What’re you apologizing for, you aren’t my parents.”
He couldn’t help himself from melting into the touch, clutching onto Karasu like he’d die if he let go. So many emotions ran through his body from the hatred of his parents, to that admiration of Karasu that never left, even after all these months they’d spent apart.
“Thank you,
…thank you so much.”
Karasu didn’t say anything else. He continued to hold Hiori as he let him feel all of his emotions. Hiori preferred this, he’d rather have someone listen then sit there and give advice. He was pleased that Karasu allowed him to cry without any shame.
Karasu was the sun. He brought the light into each of Hiori’s days, and he planned—continued to do so for each one following.
Had Hiori noticed how cloudy it’d been back at home?
Hiori pulled away, wiping the tears from his eyes, “Again, thank you.”
“Mhm. I’ll be here for you whenever you need Yo.”
“Yo? We’re on a first name basis now?” Hiori rose an eyebrow, “Tabito.”
Karasu smirked, nodding his head slowly, “I mean you did soak my shirt in tears, not that I mind.” He stated, pointing to the darker shades of blue on the shoulder of his blue-lock embroidered sweatshirt.
“You should go eat. Get some sleep too.”
He ran his fingers through Hiori’s hair before promptly standing up. He held his hand out to Hiori helping him up.
“Do that for me ya?”
Hiori nodded as the two made their way to the door. Leaving that monitor room, Hiori felt that a weight had been taken off his chest. He felt as if the chains that were so tight around his legs had loosened.
He was able to get a full night of sleep that night. One without any nightmares, or waking up at random in the wee hours of the morning.
Thank you, Karasu Tabito.