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It was already late by the time Ao'nung came back from hunting by himself when he caught the sight of his sister talking with Lo'ak outside of the sully's marui. Even from a distance, he can see the distressed look on both of their faces. Are they arguing? Ao'nung frowns. Lo'ak is saying something and Tsireya moves to hold his forearm in an attempt to calm the boy down.
Ao'nung quickly passes the basket of fish he caught to one of the villagers that are responsible for managing hunting goods before making his way to the couple. Yes, much to his dismay, his sister is in a romantic relationship with that knucklehead. He is ready to punch Lo'ak for whatever reason that causes the two to argue when he hears his name being mentioned.
"I'll ask Ao'nung to look for him when he comes back, yeah? he'll probably be back soon." his sudden stop causes the person behind him to bump into him. "Watch it," the person says. This catches Lo'ak attention and prompts his sister to turn her head toward him. Her eyes widen when she registers Ao'nung's figure and hastily walks towards the taller boy. "Sorry," Ao'nung says quickly to the person before diverting his attention back to Tsireya.
"Ao'nung!" the boy frowns. "What?" he asks, voice laced with irritation when he notices that Lo'ak is also approaching him. He is just very protective of his little sister. "Neteyam is still--" his stomach flutters at the mention of the other's name. It's been two weeks since he last talk with the said boy. Ao'nung has been actively avoiding Neteyam at all costs after being rejected by him.
He had confessed his feelings to the other thinking that it is mutual. Unfortunately, it is not.
"Bro, are you listening?" Lo'ak’s annoyed voice snaps him out of his trance. "It'll be dark soon and Neteyam still hasn't come back." Tsireya worries visibly in her voice. "Huh? come back from where?" he looks between the pair, confused by the sudden statement. "I don't know. I haven't seen him the whole day either. When I asked kiri, she said Neteyam went to some cave?" Lo'ak explains. "The one he usually goes to?" his brows pulled together, hoping that Ao'nung will understand what he is trying to say.
"We thought you might know where the cave is since you are close with him," Tsireya adds. "What?" Ao'nung knows he must sound stupid he says that. "What the fuck bro?" the younger boy spits, pushing his shoulder roughly. "Do you know which cave, Ao'nung?" Tsireya asks urgently, right hand holding Lo'ak's wrist to stop him from punching her brother.
"Uh y-yes, yes I know which cave, the cave, I know," Ao'nung stumbles over his word as his mind is running miles with every bad scenario that might've happened to Neteyam. "With who?" his mind couldn't even form a proper sentence but thankfully Lo'ak understand him, "On his own!"
The cave is outside of the reef. Before his brain can even process the situation, he is already running to the water, calling for his ilu.
What was Neteyam thinking? going there on his own? is he crazy?
He hops on top of the ilu and instructs it to swim, guiding it to the cave they usually hang out in together. He arrives there in record time, surprised that he hasn't fainted from how fast his heart is beating inside his chest. Ao'nung doesn't have time to thank the creature as he immediately swims towards the cave and pulls himself into the opening.
He didn't get to stand properly before a sudden force knocks into him and the next thing he knew, he is inside the water again but this time with an extra weight clinging onto him. He blinks a few times, mind disoriented by the sudden movement. The person pulls his face away to look at Ao'nung, it's Neteyam and flashing a bright smile at him. Ao'nung grabs the other's waist and pushes him away, searching for any injuries on Neteyam's body.
Neteyam frowns and taps the other's shoulder to get his attention. "What are you looking for?" he signs when Ao'nung looks at him. "Are you stupid?" the boy signs back. Neteyam is taken aback by the question and Ao'nung's expression. "Why did you come here alone? do you know how dangerous it is?" he continues. The smile makes its way back to Neteyam face, "Were you worried about me?" he signs, tilting his head to the side. Ao'nung rolls his eyes and swims to the surface, leaving Neteyam behind as if he was not losing his mind, worrying about the said boy just five minutes ago.
He climbs into the cave again and walks a few steps inside and leans his back against the wall. From the corner of his eyes, he can see Neteyam walking towards him. "Hey, Nung," he reaches for Ao'nung's arm, "I'm sorry," he says softly, gnawing his bottom lips. "Are you stupid?" Ao'nung repeats his question, only that this time he asks it more gently. He feels bad for making Neteyam feel bad.
When he didn't receive any reply, he continues, "Why didn't you ask anyone to come here with you? it is dangerous to go outside the reef by yourself, Neteyam." He feels a weight being lifted off his chest when the name rolls off his tongue. It feels nice saying the other's name after a long time. "You could've gotten hurt or worse, killed. The waves can be very harsh at times and there are so many vicious animals out here." He sighs and rubs his face.
"Because we aren't talking," Neteyam says, looking everywhere except the boy before him. "What?" Ao'nung blinks a few times, trying to make sense out of what Neteyam just said. "I came here alone because we weren't talking and I don't want to come here with anyone else because this is our secret place. Also I miss spending time with you but you're avoiding me and I couldn't think of any way else to make you finally talk to me." Neteyam huffs and lift his eyes to look at Ao'nung through his lashes.
"You're so stupid, do you know that?" Ao'nung states bluntly. "You put your skxawng ass in danger because I wouldn't talk to you?" he asks, his body now fully turned to the boy, hands holding Neteyam's shoulders, "I thought my heart was going to give up on me from how fast it was beating inside my chest on my way here." He hangs his head between his shoulders, laughing under his breath, finding the whole thing ridiculous. He pulls Neteyam into a hug, finally able to calm down and feel relief knowing that nothing happened to Neteyam.
His body relaxes when he feels Neteyam wraps his arms around his body and rests his head on Ao'nung's chest. He relishes the warmness of Neteyam's body. Oh how badly he missed holding Neteyam like this. They hold each other for a while before Ao'nung clears his throat, "I'm sorry," he says, barely audible but Neteyam catches it.
The smaller boy tries to pull away to look at Ao'nung's face but he tightens his hold around Neteyam's neck and tucks his chin over Neteyam's shoulder. He knows he wouldn't be able to say what his about to tell Neteyam if he sees the boy's face. "I didn't know how to talk with you or even look at you without feeling sad, I guess?" he chuckles dryly. "So I did what I think is the best thing for myself." saying it out loud makes Ao'nung realizes how selfish his action is. "I was heartbroken, Teyam. I'm sorry." He apologizes again.
He waits for Neteyam’s response but he didn't say or do anything which makes Ao'nung's heart clenches inside his chest. He really is about to get his heart broken for a second time, isn't he? his lips pulled into a bitter smile and he squeeze his arms around Neteyam one last time before pulling away.
Ao'nung's eyes widen when he sees the streaks of tears coming down from Neteyam's eyes. "Hey, why are you crying?" he ask softly, wiping the fresh tears forming at the corner of the other's eyes. "Why are you saying sorry?" Neteyam's voice is surprisingly steady when he speaks. "For avoiding you?" Ao'nung tries, still confused with the reaction he gets.
Neteyam shakes his head, the beads on his hair clicks, "You shouldn't feel sorry for wanting to protect yourself, you know?"
Ao'nung bites the inside of his cheek, "But i hurted you in the process."
"Why do you care about other people more than yourself?"
"I don't." he counters. "That's the problem. I don't care about about other people more than myself. But you? I care about you more than anything, Neteyam." It is true and that terrifies Ao’nung greatly.
"I know this is selfish. I know I am. But I want you, Nung. I really do." Neteyam hangs his head low, embarassed with himself for even thinking he has the right to feel that way after Ao’nung straight up tells him that he broke his heart.
"I know." Ao'nung's face soften but there’s a sadness behind it. "But you don't want us and that's okay." The words feels bitter on his tongue.
Neteyam swallows the lump forming in his throat, "I have too many responsibilities, Ao'nung. I'm scared that if i started wanting us, I might dissapoint more people than I already have. you--" Ao'nung places a finger at the other's lips, stopping him from rambling about things that are far from true.
"What are you talking about? You didn't dissapoint anyone, Teyam. In fact you're the opposite of all those things. Your parents are so proud of you, even if they didn't show that often but trust me they are." Ao'nung reassures.
"If this makes you feel better, everyday I had to listen to my father and Tsireya talks about you with sparkles in their eyes." he tells Neteyam, his lips formed a small smile when those memories replay at the back of his mind. "Sometimes I wonder if you're his real son instead of me." He jokes causing Neteyam to chuckles and hits his chest. "What? He talks of you with so much proudness." Ao'nung laughs together with the boy.
"And you can never dissapoint me." The taller boy says. "Everywhere I go, I can only hear people praising you. Just from hearing people talks about you with so much respect and admiration makes me proud of you." Neteyam is silent the entire time, allowing himself to absorb and process every words that Ao'nung said. "So no, you can never dissapoint me."
"Thank you," Neteyam says in a hushed voice. "Of course." Ao'nung is glad to see the frustration no longer visble on the other's face.
The smaller boy clears his throat, "Can you give me some time to work on myself first? because I want you and someday I also want us."
Neteyam is looking directly into Ao'nung's eyes and god he is so pretty. His golden orbs shine even brighter at night.
"You can take how ever long you need because I'll always be here."
"Thank you, Ao’nung."
"Anything for you, Neteyam."