Chapter Text
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Spring 2006
Age 14
“It is expected of you, Miles Edgeworth, to find and marry a woman.” Was the first thing his mentor, Manfred Von Karma, sternly told him in German when he sat down and took out a worn notebook. Today was his mandatory break day that Mr. Von Karma graciously gave every month. Normally on these days, Miles would take the time to read something other than things about the law, or maybe clean his room. Help Franziska if she wasn’t acting stubborn, or go out on the German streets and take in the scenery.
This time however, his mentor ordered him to be in one of the many study rooms in the manor to learn an important lesson. One that his little sister Franziska wasn’t allowed to hear apparently, as she was absent from the room as well. Abnormal comparing Mr. Von Karma often emphasized their education and rivalry to outdo the other. However, based on the words that came out of his mentor’s mouth, this wasn’t going to be a pretty lesson. Hopefully not a long one either.
“Before you ask, Franziska has already received this lesson when she was 6, hence why she isn’t here. She is ahead of you in the subject we will be enforcing today.” his mentor clarified, tapping his cane on the floor before turning to the chalk board on the wall.
Huh. Why did Franziska receive this particular lesson early?
On the board, his mentor rewrote the first words Miles had heard when he walked in. Although his mentor graciously wrote what he said in German in English. He circled two times before he began tapping the chalk against the board, making a sound similar to his cane.
“As you know, you are going to be a Prosecutor in the future. My protégé who will send guilty criminals to their tomb and serve justice like a hammer. The training I have personally provided for the past 4 years has been building up your experience and knowledge so you can perform to absolute perfection. Anything less than perfection makes you weak.”
His mentor paused his speech and picked up the white chalk again. When he began writing, he pressed the chalk hard against the board as a hideous screech filled the room. As slow as possible to cause as much pain to his ears as possible, he wrote in bold cursive text the word perfection.
“Today, you will be learning about the absurdness of love. By the end you will know how to find and have a perfect wife.”
Love. To Miles, this wasn’t a subject he fared well in. His Father had talked about the subject on late nights with a certain… fondness. If Miles had to describe it, whenever his Father spoke about the subject, an affectionate smile would appear as he described what it was like to find someone you trust. When he spoke of memories he had made with his significant other, his eyes lit up with a certain flare. A supposed bond like no other as he would describe it. When he talked, his guard was lowered and his Father would seemingly appear to be happy. So much so that when he was younger, Miles often had to find a dictionary to decipher what exactly his Father was saying.
In particular, his Father emphasized that it didn’t matter who Miles loved. All that mattered was that this person brought him joy and made him feel safe. Never once did he clarify what he meant by that.
“On the board are the 3 most important aspects of a relationship. This woman must be pretty, she must be wealthy, and she must have some form of intelligence. If she doesn’t have all of these qualities, she’s nothing. An imperfect wife.” Mr. Von Karma made a bulleted list on the board, and Miles quietly wrote down what he said. This isn’t what Father told me…
“Going more in depth with the first aspect, what is defined as pretty should be from an objective standpoint, not your own biased opinion. Some people call their loved one pretty when they’re more ugly than a mere peasant pig in mud.” His Mentor’s face scrunched up at the thought, clearly in pain from the thought of such ugliness.
“If the wife is wealthy, this shouldn’t be a problem. She must be wealthy or else she will leech off your high paying salary. You wouldn’t want to be providing for some poor hobo now, would you? Well Edgeworth?”
Once again, no response as he wrote down all the information his mentor was giving while his own thoughts were at war. I would do it… Why does it matter if they don’t make a single penny? The salary of a Prosecutor is definitely enough to provide for the both of us, especially if my future finance plan works and I get some of the Von Karma inheritance. But if that were the case, why is Mr. Von Karma making a point to find a wealthy significant other? Is this an issue I do not know of yet?
As if his mentor could read his mind, he added, “The more money you have, the better a family is raised. Assuming you will continue the Von Karma legacy, you will need money to train your future children with the skills to become just as skilled prosecutors as you are to be. Raised to absolute perfection to ensure criminals don’t get away. If your wife is a low income hobo, you will fail to raise the children.”
Who’s to say I even want children!? And I most certainly wouldn’t give them the last name of Von Karma--
The thought of caring for his own child wasn’t a thought Miles was fond of. Something about seeing the innocence of children’s eyes always bothered him. They were too young to know the horrors of reality, less they experienced something of the caliber he did. If he were to have a child, he wouldn’t even know how to raise them properly. After all, he has no experience since his time with his Father was wasted. Instead of spending time with him at every given moment, Miles would lock himself in his room and read. He idolized him as a Defense Attorney, not really as being a Father.
As for Mr. Von Karma…
“Lastly, an intelligent wife will make your life easier. An emotional, sensitive wife who cries over petty drama or useless matters is not ideal for a wife. Since I am training you to your utmost abilities, you will judge whether she is intelligent or not. Just know that having a wise wife most likely will correlate to her job.”
That was something Miles could kind of agree on. If the person was emotional, they were weak minded and ill-suited for him. Miles had no time for useless drama when he was putting filthy criminals behind bars. If they were sensitive, they wouldn’t work out for his field. After all, he was dealing with murderers who felt no remorse for their actions ( how do they not feel bad for who they kill?) . Coming home to someone who would cry over murders would get stale very quickly.
“As for how you go about finding your wife, I’ll have to assume you have some sort of charisma and charm. Similar to a good for nothing defense attorney having some sort of hidden evidence that’s secretly forged, it’s something hidden that I 100% know about. I trust that your proper etiquette will be a magnet alongside your knowledge. If need be, think of finding a wife like a court case. Win over the judge and render the defense into practically burnt ashes.” his Mentor took a moment to let a cough out before continuing. “Win over your wife and render the useless things such as emotions into ashes. It’s quite simple.”
Father never used forged evidence, but Mr. Von Karma is persistent about the fact that defense attorneys use forged evidence and dirty tactics. Did Father just never tell me? Did he lie to me? Who’s right? Was--
“Finally, this is something I want you to remember well, Miles Edgeworth.”
His mentor banged his cane against the desk that Miles was writing at, interrupting his thoughts. Dark eyes gazing down upon him, dead and cold as always. Those same eyes spared Miles of ending up in an orphanage and gave him an opportunity of higher education.
“You are to be perfect, as is the Von Karma creed. As such, fulfilling the creed requires that you marry a woman. Just a woman who meets the criteria, Miles Edgeworth. The foolish idea and sin of dating one of the same gender will tarnish you. There are those in this world who do as such, and truly it is disgusting. Those who do such are inferior beings who ought to be ashamed of themselves for all of eternity. They are unacceptable and wrong in this world. They turn to the same gender since they are unlovable. I trust you aren’t one of them.”
He was. He was absolutely one of them . No doubt in his mind.
Evidence would perhaps be from the time he spent with Larry. When his childhood friend ( Is he a friend? More like a lovestruck fool) would try setting him on dates, he didn’t feel anything but awkward. When girls would give him expensive candies for Valentine's Day along with bouquets, he didn’t return them anything. No candy, no cards, no flowers or feelings. They were just his peers still in Elementary.
The same couldn’t be said for boys however. Instead of feeling as if he was on thin ice about to fall at any moment whenever he forced anything around ladies, he was more comfortable around men. A warm bubbly feeling would settle deep within his chest, he could never contain the small smile on his face as warmth blossomed through him. Unease and uncertainty would flood his senses as he tried to compose himself from the sheer amount of emotion. It was a feeling like no other, and one he hadn’t felt in a long time. Now he hadn’t felt this way around every boy he met ( if he did, Miles would think he might go insane ), but there were a few, and one in particular that he remembers very well. A certain boy from 4th grade. Miles thinks he knows what this feeling is, but isn’t 100% sure.
When his school introduced sexualities and their meanings during a lecture that was given to all students (which his Mentor berated the school for and threatened to take legal action), Miles couldn’t even face his mentor that day. The school encouraged them to tell their guardians and explain, but Miles knew better. If he had to, he would hide his… homosexuality-- forever, for nobody to find out. For the rest of time, he would hold his crushes close to his chest and never let anyone know. Miles knew he wasn’t perfect and could never achieve that standard if his nightmares told him anything, but this just made it worse. He was gay, and that was a bad thing. Why couldn’t he just be perfect? Why couldn’t he just be normal?
“Edgeworth, I shouldn’t have to repeat myself, but you are dismissed. Remember this lesson. You are expected to.” his Mentor quietly growled as Miles quickly grabbed his belongings and hastily exited the room. If Miles heard his mentor call him a ‘pesky good for nothing boy’, he would deny it.
---
Middle School was an absolute chore that Miles hated. His mentor had tried convincing the school admins to put him in high school at the age of 10, but they denied him, claiming that Miles needed the time to grow up and make friends. So sadly, he couldn’t get a high school diploma immediately so he could head off to Law School and become a Prosecutor.
Yeah, as if he wanted to befriend any idiotic, procrastinating, hormonal children who swore more than they could chew. Moving from Elementary to Middle School, nothing changed. His peers still annoyed Miles when he tried to work, but eventually backed off and left him alone. This is a private school for heaven's sake, how are these kids so immature!? How are they struggling to complete 30 pages of homework?! It’s basically paperwork! Child’s play!
Miles didn’t need friends. He would end up leaving them in the dust, only to be forgotten by the limits of human memory. Previous friendships would testify to that one. Sometimes he wondered if Phoenix remembers him, or even misses him still. Other than that one incident in the mall with that rude lady, he hadn’t heard from Phoenix. Never would he admit that he still reminiscences about the time they had spent together and yearns for more. That friendship was special, and perhaps Miles in another reality where elevators weren’t death boxes and he never had to leave his old home… Perhaps something in that friendship would’ve grown. Perhaps into a relati-- Nope, stopping right there. That would never happen. Phoenix forgot him by now, end of the story. He would stay as a kid who Miles had great respect for and perhaps even a crush for and nothing else. As his mentor said,
“ Sever any and all relationships from your previous life. They’ve distracted you long enough, boy. They’ve made you weak.”
“Miles, I need the 4 pages of your homework please.” his teacher plainly said, looking sleep deprived. Maybe that is why you dress so unprofessionally. My own teacher struggles to sleep, just great.
---
The closest Miles ever got to finding a girl he liked was his final year of Middle School. The year before he was finally allowed to be in High School. Her name was Notrula Feryu, the same age as him with similar grades. Based on his observations, she was a popular kid, an extrovert. Oftentimes he found his peers running their fingers through her long brown hair (very unsanitary, but it did look fun). Her clothing suggested that she came from a wealthy family, especially since she wore pearl earrings to school all the time. If Franziska told him anything about jewelry (which that too was all the time), it was that pearls were attractive, pleasing, and expensive if real. So she was wealthy, had good grades which indicated some form of cleverness, and was pretty based off how many people hung around her (his mentor wanted this to be objective, but Miles decided to just use his own opinion based on logic). If Miles were to follow his mentor’s guidelines, she’d be a perfect wife. Perhaps he should try and…well date--
He consulted the idea in his bedroom once he finished his homework. A private confession of love would be ideal as to maintain his professionalism. Also as a failsafe in case she decides to decline, which would be fine by him. After all, he was sorta faking this a little. Those strange warm feelings hadn’t happened yet, he wasn’t feeling the tsunami that often occurred from unease and uncertainty. Sure he was anxious, but there was a difference between the two. When he was anxious, he could control himself and maintain professionalism. The tsunami of emotion often made him panic and go to thoughts he rather avoid for the rest of his life.
Going back to the idea, he decided he was going to pursue it, and on a sheet of paper he wrote down the needs for the plan. Tomorrow morning he was to pick some flowers from the garden outside, wear the tailored suit he often wore only to the courthouse, and confess his “feelings” outside after making sure the coast was clear. A fool proof plan, and perhaps this relationship would make him happy, like his Father had described.
Checking the time, it was nearing 8:00. Almost time for bed, and he would need the sleep so as not to look like his sleep deprived teacher tomorrow. Securing his homework in his briefcase for school, Miles went to change into his silk pajamas and wash up. For a moment, he thought of checking on Franziska, but he’d probably get scolded for entering her room, so he decided against it for now.
That night, when he fell asleep on the bed that felt too big and cold for him, his dreams played cruelly. Vivid images of him and Notrula together manifested in his head, and a sad Phoenix Wright with a blurred face stared at him emotionless. He could still see with clarity the red tear tracks down his face. A giant frown was forefront instead of that warm sunny smile. Next to him was his Father, body and face distorted. The two spoke no words as they stared at him, almost judgingly. Then, the sound of a gunshot and the sight of his Father in that all too familiar position flashed, while something heavy and cold was being gripped in his bloody hands. The world turned dark, everyone in the dream disappearing as the gun clattered to the ground and fired. Pain blossomed in his chest, and he would never know if the source of pain was from his emotions or the gun’s bullet.
He frantically woke up in the middle of the night to a little Franziska blankly staring at him, confused. Regardless, she crawled up closer and held him tightly. The urge to cry was strong, but he held those pesky emotions in and fell asleep with Franziska cuddled up against him.
---
When he awoke, Franziska was already gone. Presumably getting her make-up on for her private piano lesson. She left no note of explanation, no ‘good morning’, just an empty cold bed. Checking the clock once more, he had around 80 minutes before a private car would arrive and take him to the private school.
Ok, I’ll have to take a 10 minute shower and stylize my hair for only 8 minutes. After that, I’ll spend 12 minutes of my time making and eating breakfast, being careful not to ruin the suit or my hair. Take a 5 minute break before spending 15 minutes making myself and Franziska a lunch. Another 10 minute break here to make sure I’m awake. During that time I’ll have to make sure I have everything for school prepared. Then, the remainder of time shall be spent in the garden looking at and picking the most prestigious flowers. If everything goes to plan, this is the only way to ensure no time is wasted.
Miles got to work with the schedule in mind, taking deliberate steps to help speed up certain processes. Giving himself less of a breakfast than usual, not doing as big of a lunch for himself and Franziska, cutting some times in his breaks, all went according to his plan. Even Franziska’s constant snarky remarks didn’t slow him down. The only hard part came when he went to the garden to go find the perfect flowers.
The sun was constantly blinding him while he walked past the hedges and servants tending to the needy plants. Flowers and plants of all shapes and sizes filled the garden. Their colors always seem to brighten the entire manor’s dark appearance . Miles must’ve seen hundreds of different species as he went around aimlessly looking for something that would work. A rose? Too cliche for his standards. Forget-me-nots? Franziska would have his head if he dared take them out of her collection. Lilies? Pansies? Peonies? No no no! None of them seemed to be perfect!
Just as he was about to give up on this one aspect of his plan, he finally ran into the perfect flowers. The plant sat idly in the corner of the garden, the sun hitting on them at just the right angle to make them stand out. Inspecting the sign, the species of flower were labeled as buttercups. They were smaller flowers compared to the rest of the garden, but the shape and color were impeccable. They didn’t feel overpowering, just like his feelings. This will have to do.
Carefully, he plucked the flowers from the ground and placed them in a little vase. It might’ve been a little awkward to have to carry flowers all day, but he was determined on this confession. This was his first time after all, and hopefully it would be his only time. Miles continued to stare at the flowers, making sure he got the best of the batch and that there weren't any obvious or subtle flaws that might make him reconsider. A nearby servant must’ve been looking for him, as he approached Miles with a little haste. “Sir! Your ride is supposed to arrive in less than a few minutes from now! You better hurry up before you’re late for school!”
Pulling out his pocket watch, the servant was indeed right. Miles did lose track of time, he’d have to punish himself later for that mishap less his mentor found out. Giving the servant a quick little bow for his efforts, Miles made his way back into the manor with the potted plant to await for the car in the front to arrive. Sitting on a bench in the manor’s foyer, he stared at the grand painting of his mentor and Franziska that hung. Franziska must’ve been no older than 4 in that image, and yet she was dressed up like a doll. Her dress was enormous in the image, the makeup stood out, and Miles couldn’t even describe her hair. His mentor on the other hand looked normal. Looked perfect. His facial features, his cold eyes, his outfit, everything screamed of a man who’s a master at his craft.
“Like what you see, kleiner bruder? The artist might’ve been an imbecile, but I can’t deny he has a talent for the arts.” Franziska said, hands holding her newly acquired whip. Her makeup was still fresh, and her posture was most definitely better than his currently. She sat down on the bench, scooted closer to him, and noticed the flowers he held in his hands.
“Blumen? Aus welchem Anlass?” she asked him in German, which he had to quickly translate in his head. Flowers? What is the occasion? As he was about to answer her question, a clearing of someone’s throat had echoed in the foyer. They both looked up to see a not too happy Manfred Von Karma, tapping his shoulder impatiently.
“Franziska, you are supposed to be practicing the piano right now. Now tell me, why are you meandering and off task? If I recall, Your break isn’t for another two hours.”
One moment ,she was there about to tease him, the next she was standing as straight as a ruler. “Apologies Papa, I shall be returning at once.” was all she said to him before doing a quick curtsy and marching back to the practicing room.
That just left Miles and his mentor in the room. As per usual, the room felt intense as the two looked at each other. Despite being an enormous foyer, the room felt cramp, uncomfortable, and nerve-racking. No words needed to be said for Miles to just break out in a sweat with the gaze of the man he wanted to thank. Being in the same room just reminded Miles of all the good that Manfred had done for him. He was a God amongst Prosecutors, a legend, and he had the kindness to take him in when he had nobody else to turn to. The courtesy to give him the highest education in the land so he could study the law to the fullest extent. Miles was going to make his mentor proud, and then maybe he’ll be able to look at his Father in the afterlife straight in the eyes ( most likely not, after the heinous crime he committed. He wouldn’t be surprised if his Father scolded him harshly.)
“Sir, your car has arrived to take you to school.” a servant interrupted his thoughts as the doors of the foyer opened revealing the outside world. Miles said no words to his mentor as he made his way into the car and off to school, ensuring the flowers he held weren’t going to get ruined. His driver said nothing to him, and the trip to school was uneventful. The classical music that played via the radio being the only thing keeping his nervous heart from metaphorically exploding.
---
Weird looks from his fellow classmates weren’t new, but today nearly all of them seemed to be gazing upon him. Were they thinking less of him? Or was it the flower that sat on his desk, a very visual reminder of the goal he had. Although Miles hated having attention on him, this was necessary in order for him to be a good prosecutor. He was going to have eyes on him in court all the way from the Judge to the Goddess of Justice herself, thus mere students shouldn’t faze him. His unease would be forced to leave him, or they can just stay concealed forever.
The other students didn’t stop him from being unfocused all day. The confession weighed on his mind, the possibilities piling up as he was learning. Miles tried his best to recall his mentor’s words, but they weren’t much comfort. Instead they were more intimidating, a reminder he needed to do this in order to achieve a perfect status. Miles couldn’t afford to fail. He-
“Miles! You have to focus! If you are the cause of us losing this class competition, so help me I will take your briefcase and dump all of its contents!” his planned future wife practically screamed while slamming the table ( a fellow table slammer she was ). The two of them were paired together for a “ friendly” math competition.
“Apologies Ms. Feryu, I was lost in my thoughts for a moment. There is no need to scream like a banshee.”
She raised her eyebrow at him, “Did you just label me as a banshee?!”
“M-Merely your scream! Not your personality! And please! Do not dump my belongings on the floor!”
She rolled her eyes dramatically, “Whatever you say, just focus from here on out, ok? You're the smartest kid in class, so this competition should be a free win for us. Stay focused and we’ll wipe the floor with them.”
That much he could do. Just as his planned future wife claimed, Miles destroyed his math class in the competition with nobody even coming close to the two. Becoming a prosecutor and putting guilty criminals behind bars is his ultimate goal, but perhaps in another life he could’ve become a mathematician of sorts. But nothing would deter him from this goal. His Mentor provided for this path, he was going to make use of all of it. Utilize every advantage he gained, and maybe then he’d make his mentor proud. That despite his flaws, he can uphold his Mentor’s name.
After winning the competition, Miles finally got the courage to speak to Notrula. He waited for her to quiet down before asking, “So, I was wondering… Can you meet with me alone after school today? I- I wish to speak with you in private. If you can’t, it’s no issue! I understand if you are busy and have work to do for school or home, I just want to kn-”
“Relax Miles, I can come after school. Just give me a time and place so I can meet you there.”
Perfect! Everything is going to plan!
Grabbing a small sticky note from his briefcase, he inscribed their meeting place and time. She smiled when he handed it over to her.
“Great! I’ll see you after school then. I trust you aren’t trying to kidnap me.”
“I would have to be an absolute fool to ever do such a thing. That’d give me a criminal record, and since I plan to become a prosecutor, I’d be the biggest hypocrite. That would be like if a prosecutor killed somebody and continued to put filthy criminals behind bars despite having committed an atrocity themselves.”
While she started laughing, inside his head his thoughts taunted him. I’m already the biggest hypocrite, I know. I killed my Father and I still wish to put criminals behind bars despite my own crime. I know I have no chances to redeem myself, and yet…
“You’re a weird one Miles. I’ll see you later.” Notrula casually told him before leaving to go eat lunch with her fellow friends. Miles stood there awkwardly for a minute, trying to let his brain process what exactly she just said.
I’m a weird one, huh? His confidence fell, but he’d never know the answer unless he tried. Miles realizing that the class he was in was completely empty, quickly packed his briefcase. Feeling conflicted, he headed for the library to go read some more law textbooks that the school provided to help clear his mind.
---
As soon as the bell sounded signifying the end of the day, Miles headed for their meeting spot. His mentor’s words ringing in his head on how to be proper. Sure his mentor only spoke to him in legal terms, but he could apply that to his life!
“If you don’t arrive early, you are always going to be late. Tardiness won’t pass in a Court of Law, Miles Edgeworth.”
“Speak with power and authority. Nobody will listen to whimpers and a weak voice. Even in moments where a lousy defense attorney tries to ruin your reasoning, remain strong-willed. Retain a calm and collected mind, even if you have to fake it due to imperfect emotions. Stay cool.”
“Do not let your emotions take control. Witnesses and the defense will try to exploit you with them. Let these emotions loose and they will render you useless and pathetic. Do not let them break you.”
His planned spot was a little bench underneath a pine tree. Placing the potted flowers beside him, carefully putting his briefcase on the pavement, and adjusting his cravat, Miles sat down and waited patiently for the girl to arrive. Miles still had doubts of truly liking her, but he could adapt! If moving away from home when he was suffering his father’s death all the way to Germany taught him anything, it was that he could grow. That he could change himself. After all, he went from wanting to be a defense attorney to wanting to become a prosecutor ( Why would he want to ruin his Father’s legacy? Why would he, who is most certainly a criminal, want to defend fellow ones as well? His younger self was too foolish and optimistic.) Maybe Miles could go from feeling nothing to actually… well, liking her.
“Sorry for arriving late, Miles. My friends were getting a little carried away with their discussions, and it’d be rude for me to leave mid-conversation-- I’m sure you understand.”
“Verily, you did the proper thing, Ms. Feryu.”
She moved to go lean against the pine tree, and looked at him with a soft expression. “So, what’d you want to discuss? I assume you’d be home right now writing some sort of essay about the way you dress and how it suits you, but you are here, talking to me instead.”
“I er… Wouldn’t be writing an essay like you have proposed. Homework would come first and then I’d go take some lessons on proper courtroom procedures.”
She shook her head and smirked, “Close enough, just get on with what you wanted to say already.”
Miles quickly stood up from the seat, making sure to keep a good posture. He picked up the flowers from their resting place and presented them to Notrula. “R-right… But before I begin, here! These flowers are for you…! I thought you might like them, and perhaps you can decorate your room with them?”
Notrula received the flowers and held them with her two hands. Miles didn’t dare look at her face, afraid to see what she might be thinking. At that moment, the temperature outside intensified and his anxiety started making him stutter on his words more. Started making him lose composure and his thought process.
In his head, his mentor’s words nearly flooded all of his overwhelming thoughts.
“ I expect you won’t disappoint me, Miles Edgeworth.”
I won’t, sir.
“I requested you here… To say that I-- I like you… And if you’d be… amenable to wanting to… go out…” he managed to say, cringing at his failing voice, feeling the sweat roll down his face and his fists clench unbelievably tighter. His pride, self image, everything felt like it was on the line, and whether it’d be cut or not was dependent on the lady standing before him. Miles took a quick glance at Notrula to see how she reacted, and--
“PFFFFFF…!”
Suddenly, she burst into full laughter, nearly dropping the flowers he got her in the process. Miles stood there shocked, unable to move in absolute fear. The way she laughed reminded Miles of the way his mentor did whenever Miles asked a question that was considered “foolish”. They always seemed so out of control , so ridiculous , but he knew when that laughter was heard, nothing good would follow.
“O--Oh! You think you’re serious! Miles, tell me, who put you up to this?”
“W--What!? Nobody put me up to this, Ms. Feryu. This meeting was of my own.. Er… volition!”
“That can’t be. Miles, we aren’t even friends for starters. Just classmates.”
“But I…!”
“Secondly, you never showed ANY signs of interest before today. Even if it was a secret crush, I find it hard to believe you’d actually like me.”
“Y…You have no evidence to back up your claims!”
“Neither do you, which is why this whole situation is ridiculous. Honestly, I was expecting you to call me out here to do a grade check or something. Make sure I wasn’t falling behind, but this? THIS is comical!”
Ouch, reduced to nothing but a joke. Miles did actually like her, more than other peers. He wouldn’t lie to her like that, his Father always said that lying was bad. But what she was telling him made his heart ache.
“Besides, do you even know the meaning of these flowers?”
Miles nearly went into full panic mode when he heard what she so casually said, like it was a fact of life. “What?! They have meanings?! I thought you might like them due to you wearing yellow often and the fact that I found them quite angelic to look at.”
“Wow, didn’t take you for a creepy stalker, but that would explain your quiet behavior--”
Ouch, there goes his confidence…
“From what my Mother has told me from her gardening days, buttercups can mean unfaithfulness, ungrateful, and childish behavior. They also have positive meanings, but as I’ve said before, we aren’t even friends. We barely even talk to one another.”
Miles didn’t even realize she was close to him until she snapped her fingers in front of his face.
“Also, why would I want to date a guy like you who does this?”
All at once, his body tensed up as he was being hugged by this lady he thought he might’ve had a chance with. Immediately, every inch of his skin seemed to become twenty times more sensitive to everything around him. His vision seemed to shake back and forth slightly as the world became dizzy. His lungs seemed to struggle to gather the air needed in order to live. Everything made him feel like he was suffocating. Suffocating in a dark, death trap of an elevator…!
“A touch of anything and you become a statue. I bet even if we held hands together you’d still become all tense. You’re touch sensitive, and that’s stupid.”
The silence and the cold breeze made Miles want to cry right then and there. This attempt at starting something ended in absolute failure. It was clear she didn’t want him. Clearly she found this all a joke, and didn’t even see themselves as friends. Miles stood there, completely hollow. He’d disappoint his mentor for sure.
“Besides, don’t think I don’t know about your little secret that you think is a secret but is obvious to nearly everyone in the school.”
Secret? I don’t keep secrets often, so what could she be o- The realization hit him like a whip to the head. His eyes widened to the prospect of what she was about to say. There is only ONE secret he held so close to himself, so how did she…
“Now I’m not one to assume based on expressions alone, but your face during the sexualities assembly told me everything I needed to know. Specifically when they discussed homosexuality. Pair that with the way you dress and how you stare at some guys, and the pieces fit together.”
Miles thought he’d never feel so exposed and torn at the same time. This whole conversation felt so wrong, and now somebody knew of his biggest flaw. In his hands he felt the potted plant get forcibly handed, and Notrula glared angrily at him.
“You don’t actually love me and this whole thing is a scam.”
A beat.
“Is this just some sort of twisted joke meant to mess with me? To play with my feelings?”
“N--No! I truly…!”
“What would your Mentor think of your behavior if I told him what you did right now?”
“P… Please ! My mentor should not know of this! He… I would…”
“Anyways, what a waste of time this was. I thought better of you, Miles Edgeworth. I’ll see you tomorrow at school. I hope no other girls ever have to deal with your nonsense. You’re just lying to yourself.”
She left with him just standing there, never once turning back. She showed no remorse, and Miles doubted she ever would. Miles walked back to the manor with his head hung low. If he could, he would’ve cried all night. Screamed till his lungs gave out or till he passed out. Anything to forget the grueling failure of a confession he just did. Instead, he drowned himself in his work, refusing to speak to anyone or even attempt to eat dinner with his mentor.
Trying to think positively (for his sanity), his confession did teach him a lot. Flowers apparently had some sort of meaning behind them which he never would’ve guessed. Next time (if there ever were to be a next time) Miles would have to research them.
Then, there was the whole touching issue. That one he didn’t have the slightest idea on how to fix. Nobody ever touched him. Ever hugged him. He was a private teenager with boundaries, sure, but whenever he was touched, even by accident, he felt like shortly afterwards he’d get slapped. The last time someone truly hugged him and he didn’t flinch or struggle was with his Father. That was before his Father’s final day in court, when he quickly hugged him before exiting the house for the last time. Miles never would’ve imagined that being the last time they were in that house together. He never wanted to be without his Father. He missed him. God he missed his Father, and his old friends like Phoenix… He yearned for that life. Regardless, Miles didn’t know if this strange behavior would ever leave him.
Finally, Miles wanted to try to date another male. If that girl knew of his biggest weakness, what was the point in hiding it? Dating a male shouldn’t be too hard! He just had to find someone who he at least felt strange feelings for. Someone who gave him something akin to what his childhood friend Phoenix did. To add on to that remark, Miles would try to actually talk to that person before initiating a relationship. To form a bond better than what he had with Notrula.
I do want to apologize to her for that conversation. For tomorrow, perhaps. Right now, I should be heading to bed.
Miles went to bed that night with hopes of finding a partner that would be with him. A partner that would stay with him and just… god this is embarrassing- hold him. His mind in return reminded him that this would never happen , as the image of his Father appeared in his sleep that night. An image of his Father being lifeless and cold. Dead. Gone forever. He killed his Father, and now this was the consequences of doing the vile act.
The next day at school, Notrula only glared at him. She never spoke another word to him ever again.
--------------------------------------------
October 20th, 2028
8:42 P.M.
Wright Anything Agency
“Thank you, Wright, for helping out with this case at the last minute. I appreciate your views on the matter. Hopefully a more accurate verdict may be given based on your observations.” Miles sincerely told Phoenix feeling a small smile creep up on his face. Despite it being nearly a decade since their first reunion, Miles still couldn’t believe that Phoenix was here with him. Couldn’t fathom that their paths aligned and that destiny allowed them to remain close. Sure, their friendship was up and down at the beginning, but now after Phoenix’s Disbarment and reinstatement as a Defense Attorney, everything was looking wonderful for the future. Everything felt stable.
“I promise, it’s no issue Edgeworth. I haven’t been busy recently, so it was nice. Athena sadly can’t say the same with her taking more cases to escape being Trucy’s helper, but it was nice working with you this evening.” Phoenix shrugged before taking another sip of what appeared to be hot chocolate. His glasses highlighted the whipped cream that stuck to his nose, or the slight tint of brown on his lips from taking sips. His smile showed how much he had aged compared to the ones from childhood, but they were still as light-hearted and goofy as ever.
Miles wanted to touch him . Wanted to press his hands against Phoenix’s face with that giant smile and kiss him. There was more he wanted to do. Specifically he wanted to hug him. Wright was notorious for his hugs, yet Miles never got one. Perhaps that was for the best, as he’d probably short circuit from overexertion. But, he wanted to know what it was like. Would it be warm? Comforting? Would the contact make him flinch? What was it like? Nobody dared touch Miles Edgeworth, which he didn’t mind, but he still wanted somebody to touch him. Even if he broke in the process, Miles didn’t care.
At that point, he’d forgotten what actual human contact was like. The last time he remembered somebody touching him was… Well it was with Wright when they were visiting Berlin. Back then, Phoenix needed comfort and somebody to ground him, and Miles wasn’t going to let the man who saved him time and time again suffer alone. At first, he offered his hand, but that wasn’t enough. Phoenix ended up crying in his arms, holding it like a frightened child who just had a bad day at school. That was the last time he could remember someone touching him on purpose. Every other time was by accident or out of habit. Those touches lasted a mere second, but they still remain in Edgeworth’s mind. Trucy sleeping on his shoulder that he was too scared to disturb, Gumshoe patting him on the back before stopping, Kay lightly punching his arm…
“Miles? Please tell me you aren’t daydreaming about like… I don’t know! Steel Samurai?!” Phoenix’s voice entered his ears, and Miles registered a hand on his shoulder, gripping it softly. Miles sucked in a breath, scared to move. “You're scaring me Edgeworth, please say something!”
Silence, his mouth refused to answer.
“Ok, ummm-- Blink twice if you can hear me!”
He blinked twice as his heart repeatedly slammed in his chest.
“Alright, I’m going to make you another cup of tea. I’m not going to make you drive home when you might’ve just spaced out or… Whatever this is. You are staying the night, no objections.” Phoenix firmly told him before removing his hands to get up. His back popped, and he cursed under his breath, but still got up to make Miles some tea.
Miles still didn’t move… Well he was moving, but not in a good way. Sitting there on the couch was the Chief Prosecutor, shivering and trembling after being touched. TOUCHED-
People touch each other all the time, so why couldn’t he and his body not do the same? Why was it that the slightest touch sent him close to breaking down? In his head he cursed his own weaknesses and faults once more.
“Hey, you doing good over there Edgeworth?” Phoenix asked once again, handing him the tea. Lavender tea he noted, and taking a sip revealed that Phoenix had made it just the way he likes it. Darn the man for he is too good!
“Apologies for making you worried, I just got lost in my thoughts for a moment.” I definitelyyyy wasn’t obsessing over you, please don’t notice.
“When are you not lost in thoughts, Edgeworth?”
Slightly offended, he went defensive quickly, “And what is that supposed to mean?”
Phoenix laughed to himself before he began explaining, “You always seem to overthink things in that genius head of yours. Always have and always will. It concerns me sometimes, but I know I can rely on you and your sarcastic brain.”
“Hmph, says the man who started talking about flowers mid-trial last month.”
Phoenix’s eyes widened as if a light bulb went off in his head. “Right! I forgot to apologize for what I said during the trial last month. I’ve been meaning to for a while now.”
“And it took you a whole month to remember to do this? Honestly, Wright. I’m beginning to think your age is affecting your memory.”
“Hey! I remember a lot of things and you know it!”
“Ok, name every law.”
“Really, you’re bringing THAT of all things up!?”
“Well now, you took the bar recently, so you should be up to date, no?”
“Anyways, ignoring your weird talent of naming every law, I still wanted to apologize for some of the things I said to you during the Sprocket Trial.”
“I appreciate the apology, truly, but I counted the big reunion party we held after the trial to be more…. A more fitting apology.”
Phoenix laughed softly with that wondrous smile once again. “Honestly, when we first started the trial and you said you didn’t want to even go to the reunion party, I was a little let down.”
“Doesn’t that feel wrong to you? Somebody quite literally died and here we are discussing about a reunion party. In a courtroom, where murderers and psychopaths get the justice they deserve. Frankly, I should’ve stopped his Honor from even continuing that conversation.”
“But you wanted to go the whole time, didn’t you?”
“I believe my actions should answer the question you just asked.”
Miles took a sip of his tea while Phoenix shifted beside him. Clearly, he still had more to say.
“Heh, I guess they did. More importantly, I wanted to discuss about your reaction when I brought up the flowers--”
Miles nearly spat out his tea, but not wanting to make a mess, he ended up choking on it instead. Oh for heaven's sake, why did he have to bring this particular moment up!? A moment later he might’ve responded with his own snarky comment, but that didn’t stop him from feeling a strange void within him. Wright was correct, he didn’t really know flowers. His history with plants was a twisted one. They made him sneeze due to his pesky allergies, and they brought up some not so good memories. Miles still of course found beauty in flowers, he just didn’t like the pain they always seemed to give him.
“M…My what !?”
“Your reaction to when I said you had nobody to give flowers to. At first, it looked like you were going to have a panic attack based on your eyes. Then, your arm twitched as if you were preventing yourself from holding your elbow. You radiated this uncomfortable aura that I’ve only ever seen around you when we discussed… Well, anything from our younger days as lawyers.”
“W…Well! I was, errr-- Wasn’t expecting you to say that.” Miles tried to tell him knowing full well Phoenix wouldn’t believe him.
“You looked scared for a few moments there before you ended up doing that strange pose you always do in court. I’m sorry if you were scared when I told you that. I may not know the full extent of what those words meant to you, but I hope you haven’t been sulking over them.”
“It’s fine, Wright. I won’t hold it against you.”
A comfortable silence filled the office for a while as Miles kept sipping on his tea. It wasn’t burning hot like he preferred the tea to be, but letting tea Wright made go to waste made Miles’ stomach turn. Looking at the man, he was fidgeting with his fingers. He still has more to say? What’s possibly left?
Miles gestured with his hands for Wright to speak, and instantly Phoenix moved his hand behind his head.
“I also wanted to know your… views of marriage. Obviously I know you hate them, but I want to know why you hate them.”
Nope, nope. Not answering that. Nobody should know. I don’t want anyone to know. Especially him-- “I don’t wish to discuss that topic right now. I… I don’t feel comfortable saying the answer right now.” Miles responded, nervous that Phoenix was going to push this topic.
Phoenix, thankfully, seemed to notice his discomfort. “Alright, if you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. Just know whatever the answer may be, I won’t judge you. You are one of my best friends, and I do worry about you a lot. If you have anything you wish to say or get off your chest, no matter how nonsensical it may be to you, I’ll be willing to hear you out.” Phoenix smiled before placing one of his hands over Miles’. The gesture didn’t make him clam up or give him the urge to hide. It was grounding. A reassuring anchor that felt warm.
“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you Wright.”
Later Phoenix brought out some pillows and blankets that he kept in the office from when he used to live here. Phoenix apparently didn’t feel like biking home and he wasn’t going to let Miles drive home(“ We can call a bus or taxi, Wright.” “But we can totally have a sleepover! Don’t be a killjoy, Miles!”), so the two were going to ruin their backs on the Wright Anything Agency’s god-awful couches. Thank goodness Miles didn’t wear his usual attire to visit Wright. The other man meanwhile was wearing that stunning 3-piece suit that Miles got permission to buy for him. It was worth every penny comparing Wright’s looks in court now. Although he had stripped down to just the waistcoat and draped the jacket on a nearby chair.
“Night Edgeworth! Wake me up if you need anything!” was the last thing Phoenix said before falling asleep with heavy snores. The room was dark and the sounds of the city were the only thing that could be heard in the room. The only source of light was being emitted from the city, which fluttered in through one of the windows. It highlighted Phoenix sleeping, almost like a sleeping princess except the princess’ hair was an absolute spike mess.
One would expect Miles to be disgusted by the loud snoring and the messy hair, but he was rather enamored by the sight. Wright looked so peaceful, so at ease when he slept. His breathing was slow and the stream of drool showed how much he needed sleep. Miles wanted to get up from the couch and lay down next to Phoenix. Wanted to caress him while he slept and listen to his breathing, listen to the heart that was so loving but also wounded.
Miles loved Phoenix Wright so much, and he was never going to relish being in a relationship with him. The feelings were surely one-sided. Miles could never expect Phoenix to love him. The love of his life would most likely laugh at the idea of dating him. This crush that had lasted for nearly all of his life over this one man wasn’t worth revealing. He was a coward, and the idea scared him. That was partially why he was so against getting married. His reasoning was very selfish, as he hated the idea of getting married because he knew he would never find someone who’d want to marry him. What the Sprockets had? That never even happened in Miles’ dreams! It was an image that didn’t exist, because it would never happen. Miles even struggled to picture marrying Phoenix. Everytime he tried, all he would end up remembering was Phoenix’s words when he came back in 2017.
“It’d been better for everyone if you never came back from the dead, Edgeworth!”
Miles would never confess. If he was being honest with himself, his heart wouldn’t be able to handle another rejection. Especially from his only best friend in the whole world. One who believed in him, and helped him in great times of need. One who stuck around, comforted him… Miles wasn’t going to make a fool of himself. His 3 tries of admitting he loved someone all failed, and by that logic this one was going to too. By all means necessary, Miles was going to ensure that Phoenix never knew of his feelings, even when it made him weep on the inside.
End of Chapter 1.