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The peace in the Somniel is disquieting, to say the least.
Since his awakening, Alear finds himself sleeping longer and longer, but not long enough. He sleeps like a human now. Laying awake at night- anxiety plaguing his mind until he falls into restless sleep, only to awaken with more fatigue, more weight on his delicately sloped shoulders.
“Divine Dragon! Are you awake?”
The voice is chipper, and boyish. It’s Clanne today- the twins liked taking turns, if they could.
“Oh! Am I being too much? I just get so excited is all…”
There’s shuffling at his feet, and Alear slowly rises and rubs at his eyes, trying on a meek smile through his morning haze.
“What a beautiful sunrise you’ve brought with you.” Clanne beams, stars in his eyes.
A regretful part of him wishes he could simply fall back asleep, and be allowed to wake on his own terms. To never wake again, would be nice, if only so he could stop feeling so defeated. He should be grateful to be awake at all, and to be greeted with such kindness from all of his allies. Even so, it stabs at his fragile heart.
‘Good morning to you too, Clanne.” Alear stretches slightly, and his blankets fall away from his chest completely. Somehow, the temperature of the Somniel managed to be just right at all times. Cold enough in the early morning and evening to be comfortable with the blanket and a small campfire, but warm enough in the afternoon to enjoy the breezy winds and beaming sunlight. It truly felt like a dream world, like endless slumber.
“Did I sleep in late again?” Alear rubs at the back of his neck, half-heartedly smoothing his messy hair into place. He stands up and moves to grab the clothes set out for him. Pristine white pants, a gold gilded vest, a crisp white tunic, and his smallclothes neatly folded beneath everything for the sake of privacy. Vander’s work, he thinks to himself, so meticulous and considerate all at once. This almost seems below the station of a man who has more than once axed the neck of enemies that Alear failed to take down. A wave of guilt washes over him.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Divine Dragon. Everyone is.” Clanne starts, his voice evening out to be calm, but there’s a twinge of sadness and regret. “Oh yes! Framme is healing just fine. She was talking on and on about how you had breakfast with us. There’s plenty of fresh fruit if you need a snack at all. I can peel oranges pretty fast too. Maybe next time we'll make a parfait. Hmm, what about savory food, huh? There aren't any fish since nobody has been fishing, but...”
Diamant. As much as he straightened his shoulders and blazed forward as though his world didn’t just collapse at his feet, Alear could tell part of his spirit was irreparably crushed. King Morion was tremendous, and the shadow of his defeat loomed darkly even in the clear skies of the Somniel. Even Amber had been solemn, saving his grandiose stories of their fallen king only for when the brothers were out of earshot. Jade obliged Diamant's every request to spar, if only to keep the crown prince’s mind occupied. Alcryst was-
“Divine One?”
“Ah, sorry. I’m still groggy I think. Can I meet you in the dining room?”
Clanne quickly bows before he strides to the exit. “Of course! Will you tell me if you need anything else?”
“I will.”
Clanne smiles ear to ear, and allows the doors to shut softly.
Short as their time together had been, Lumera’s voice and words bring him comfort. He distantly remembers her simple assurances, her unconditional kindness even though he woke up with no memory of her. No memories of anything. How frightening that had been, and she only smiled down at him, holding his face in her delicate hands. “In times of duress, know that when you awaken, everything will be right where you left it.” And she was right. The morning sun still shines, casting a lovely shadow on Chloe’s face as she picks apples from the trees. The cold of the early morning still pricks at his arms, and he feels wonder at how Citrinne always looks as though she’s stepped out of a painting no matter what time of day it was. Distant, he can hear the clash of swords between Louis and Lapis. Alive and well, he reminds himself, alive and well.
Not a single corrupted in sight, and yet Alear walks with tension in every step, fear settling in the pit of his stomach like a pool of acid. Food wouldn’t make much of a difference. He finds himself at the lookout ridge, alone. The great expanse of sky seems impossibly vast, but it also fills him with dread. Beyond those clouds was a ruined world, and so much pain and suffering he had failed to prevent. So much pain and suffering he could have prevented. That fretful, guilty feeling hadn’t gone away since Elusia, since they took their heaviest losses of all.
He’d made a promise back then- a vow, to bring back the emblems and to never allow another life to be lost under his command. With the adrenaline coursing through his body- Zephia’s malevolent magic nipping at his feet, the raw strength of his former emblem allies nearly choking him- it was easy to believe those words when they’d only just narrowly escaped death. He had to believe those words, if not for his own sake, but for everyone else. He’d won in that moment, but lost everything to get there.
He was lucky, so lucky. Wasn’t he?
“Divine One!”
Alear involuntary flinches. Suddenly there’s quick footsteps, and a voice he’s not exactly keen on hearing so early in the morning.
“I came with a message. It is time to break your fast.”
“Break my…?”
Kagetsu tilts his head, a breezy smile still on his face. “Food! Nourishment for the body. It has long since been prepared for you.”
“Kagetsu, right?”
Alear catches an excited nod and stares, probably a beat too long, before he sighs and looks away. His gaze is drawn back to the sky in front of him.
“I’m not hungry yet.” He swallows, and does feel the slightest hunger, but it doesn’t motivate him enough to stop being gloomy and to do something about it.
Kagetsu lingers, he can sense it. A moment later, he is making himself comfortable on the ground next to Alear. His bare shoulder brushes his own clothed shoulder, and Alear has to stop himself from leaning into it, if only because he’d awoken more touch starved than he was willing to let on. Though, this was hardly the person to lean on. It was too much to ask of anyone, when he was the one they were supposed to look to for strength.
“I am not hungry either. Or rather, I do not hunger for this food. Onigiri would be preferable.”
“Rice… is that what that is? I think you've mentioned it before.”
“You are correct! I notice it is not readily available in a great many places.” Kagetsu stretches out his legs, and Alear belatedly notices that the older man tended to hold eye contact. He didn’t seem to care about personal space either. Could he tell at all that he wasn’t feeling like himself? Did he care at all? He's slightly put off by what feels like rudeness, but more so silently grateful for companionship, even if it wasn't what he came looking for.
There’s a stretch of silence, punctuating only by the occasionally shuffle of clothes or hum from Kagetsu. Despite his gratitude for company, Alear can’t bring himself to try his hand at small talk right now. He is surprised that Kagetsu, ever excited, doesn’t make an effort to fill the air with idle chatter. He sits with one leg bent, and his arm perched on it. He looks serious- a stark contrast to the way he was around everyone else since he’d arrived. He was generally loud and incredibly friendly; almost too much so. A complete opposite of the poised killer he was in battle. Instead, they both stare over the ridge, and he can’t help his thoughts from racing again. A light wind drifts his mind away- to the shadowy moor.
“Oh, how I love to see you flail about.”
The cold, dead eyed gaze on Veyle startles Alear every time he catches it. His body reacts- it knows, and yet his mind cannot grasp the reality of this. She was their enemy. She killed Hyacinth. She took the emblems.
She was Sombron’s daughter.
“Divine Dragon!”
He’s shoved to the floor unceremoniously by Alfred, who parries a javelin that was surely meant for Alear’s chest.
“Keep your guard up! We can’t lose you here too.”
Alear struggles to get up, momentarily stunned, and the mud of the moor blackens his already blood stained clothes. He nearly slips, but catches himself by sheer chance. The corrupted then engages Emblem Celica, and Alfred too falters when he catches the formerly warm gaze of the princess now dead eyed and vicious. Once he is steady on his feet, he finds himself nearly quivering as he reaches for his sword, desperate to do something. Anything.
“Boucheron, Jade! Each of you at the Divine One’s flank!” Vander bellows as he himself sends his lance into a corrupted with Roy’s emblem.
The sounds of battle echo all around him. Metal clanging, grunts of pain from both ally and enemies alike, the roaring in his own mind to move. He is paralyzed, frozen still as he gazes on the battlefield before him. A hopelessly vast expanse of shadows and mud, and only the lights of enemy magic lighting the way behind them. Princess Celine’s lightning magic flashes past him, illuminating the tidal wave of enemies quickly approaching. It’s the stinging copper taste of blood on his tongue that brings him back to the present moment. If he cannot fight now, he must run.
And yet, he is terrified into submission, feet barely moving. A Divine Dragon does not run. He feels like a lost child. Alone and weak. A defect. Lumera is long gone, and now all he has is his own strength of will to stand on. What would she see now, if she was looking down on him? What would she say? He clenches his clattering teeth, eyes stinging.
He does nothing, says nothing, is nothing.
But he needs to be their leader, their hope. The Divine Dragon they worshiped and waited for; illuminating the midnight path and leading their way home- to peace, to freedom. Before him, he sees their conviction and will not just to live, to survive, but to protect him. It should be him at the frontlines and shielding them from harm. They should not suffer in his place; throwing their lives away for this worthless cause, worthless God.
He wishes they would stop. Stop stop stop.
Only more enemies come, but then, so does the even voice of Elusia's crown princess.
“Princess Ivy! Why are you here?”
In her hands, two emblem rings. Behind her, two warriors. In his hand, one crystal.
Summoning Emblem Lyn and Lucina somehow comes naturally to him, and he can only thank his rattled mind for being able to do just that. Diamant is silent, seething, striking down any enemy within his sight- his might and anger only matched by an equally ruined Alcryst. He gives him Lucina, a ray of hope.
“Don’t think you’ll get your happy ending!” Marni calls, cackling as her axe swings through the trees effortlessly. The sheer impact calls gusts of wind, clouds of splinters scattering, and chills up his spine. He knows even with the emblem rings and crystal, it will take every ounce of strength to escape with their lives.
A calloused hand grabs at him, pulling him roughly forward. Back at the Brodian castle, this same hand had nearly struck him down with impossible precision and power. Now it drags him to freedom and a life he doesn’t deserve.
Now he is home, and he is safe, and yet, the failure hangs heavy in the air. It was as though he did take every blow meant for his allies, but had no scars to show for it. Nothing to salvage.
“That was quite a sigh!”
Alear laughs, if only because he’s been dragged out of his doom and gloom.
“Sorry for being poor company.” He pulls his knees to his chest, careful not to bump up against Kagetsu, who still sits close to him.
“The company of the Divine Dragon could never be poor.” Kagetsu turns and smiles. “I have been meaning to thank you.”
“Oh.” Alear blinks, thrown by the earnestness of the swordsman. “What for?”
“You have welcomed me here with opened arms. As friends, I wish to express my gratitude whenever possible.”
A blush dusts Alear’s cheeks. Were they friends? He was distracted from his anxiety at least, but was being this thrown off really a better feeling?
“Also, we first met on the wrong foot. I drew my sword against you, and for that I am deeply sorry.”
“You didn’t know me back then. It’s okay.”
“That is the truth. Even so, I will not forget that meeting.”
“Want to start over then?”
“Hah!” Kagetsu stands to his feet abruptly, holding out his hand. “A pleasure to meet you, dear friend!”
Alear takes his hand, allowing himself to be easily lifted to his feet. He chuckles as he dusts off his pants, and shakes that same hand.
“A pleasure, Kagetsu.”