Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"I think I got it now,” Kaguya said. "You always walk so determined. Like you have something to do." 

Around one and a half millennia ago, Princess Kaguya Houraisan was exiled from the Lunar Capital for committing the crime of drinking the Hourai Elixir. Although immortal, as a living being this caused her to enter the Cycle of Samsara, and thus it was determined that she had no place in the Heavens.

It wasn’t until centuries later, that she finally saw a familiar face again. Even then, the news that her crime had been forgiven was delivered by none other than the very person that developed the accursed medicine together with her: Yagokoro-Omoikane.

"I do always have something to do,” she affirmed.

The words felt bitter. Punishment was only imposed on one of the two offenders, the other got away. Hid like a serpent under the protection of the forest floor, and upon meeting its less fortunate accomplice again, spit poison in her eyes. 

"People don't need to know that," she laughed. "Try taking smaller, lighter steps, and don't forget to lower your chin."

A snake however, although a lowly animal ridden with kegare, has the power to rival dragons and serve the most revered of kamisama.

Knowledge willingly left the place called home. Still, the past gave chase. 

For the sake of remaining hidden from the watchful eyes of the Capital, it took on new colors. 

"Are you sure that this is how a woman walks, Your Majesty?"

"Well, so I've been taught."

And for the sake of proper and complete concealment, this disguise called for proper conduct as well.

“Hmm… no, look,” the Princess sprang up. 

That however is easier said than done. Knowing manners and being able to perform them are two completely different matters, after all.

“Like so. See?” She took a couple of paces, “imagine that you're Emika."

That was a joke of course, but coincidentally it proved to be good advice. Despite the fact that it's been a long while since she met Emika, and even those times weren't something she remembered fondly exactly.

Lady Uzume's free spirit might have been the final piece of the puzzle to free Lady Amaterasu from her self-made prison, but she still disrupted her plans, and subsequently disrespected her. But now wasn't the time to reminisce about the past.

She imagined bearing her fine features; her full chin and cheek, and delicate hands; richly decorated pure silk dress caressing her soft form, as with every swipe of the sakaki branches and every stomp upon the upturned tub, her long hair was dancing along with her, like the starlit obsidian waves of the ocean.

"Yes, just like that! You're doing great!"

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, "thank you, Your Majesty." The method itself was strange to say the least, but it certainly got the job done. 

"I guess it wasn't coincidental that the humans chose her as a representation of femininity," she teased. If anyone, she knew that they weren't on speaking terms.

The Princess spoke her old name to get her attention. To mortal ears, it sounds alien at best and jarring at worst, and it’s completely impossible for them to pronounce. It was her heritage. Something she treasured like family heirlooms. But everything had the right place and the right time.

"Eirin," she corrected.

"We're in private, no one will hear," she assured with a smile.

"We cannot risk slipping up once the need comes to use this name," she insisted.

"All right, Eirin ,” she corrected herself, “let me see how you walk down the steps." 

Chapter Text

A patient left the doctor’s office as a jade rabbit jumped to work. It was mandatory that she would sanitize the room, as well as clean up any residual kegare that might remain after a visit. 

Scraps of impurity always remain in a place where people go to ask for help; physical or emotional pain, blood and body tissues being exposed to the naked eye, fear for one’s health or life… all of this generates at least some of it, and thus it has no place in the House of Eternity.

They have special solutions, protective gear and tools to keep kegare levels low, however the possibility of a mistake being made is never zero.

Thud.

“Be careful, Udonge.” A woman glared at her from the other side of the desk. Her voice was hardened with refined authority, as if every word of hers was precalculated.

“Nothing broke! O-or spilled!” A young lady strongly resembling a common hare in her facial features had her thin white fur stand on end. Presumably caused by the rigid tone of the voice of her Master.

“Good,” her steely eyes directed their leaden shine back on the notebook she was previously writing in, “finish quickly so that we can call in our next patient.” 

She expected her assistant to work with utmost care and efficiency, of course. Even small mistakes could lead to the whole mansion being infested, which she fought to prevent at all costs. If she appreciated Reisen for something, it’s her diligence regarding the matter. 

“Yes, Master.”

Other than that, it was a regular evening in Gensokyo. A balmy summer breeze rushed through the bamboo grove, making the blades of green leaves whisper among one another about the spring that is about to set sail.

That day, Eirin Yagokoro, the pharmacist of this side of the country and her assistant Reisen Udongein Inaba didn't have many visitors, actually. No wonder. There haven’t been any major incidents lately and the cold months will not return for a while now.

“Do we have any more patients left for today?” A jolt went through Reisen’s body hearing her voice again, but it was shortly followed by relief.

"Just one, Master.” She fiddled with one of her crumpled ears for a moment so that it wouldn’t obscure her vision, “she seems to be late, though.”

Eirin nodded, “the patient with complaints regarding her reproductive organs?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s wait for her a little while longer.”

Just as the darkness of the night slowly seeped into the red afternoon and started dimming their lanterns’ lights, a voice rang from behind the screen door. “U-um… hello, good evening…”
 
“Please come in,” the doctor said kindly. Although unusual for her to use such a tone, she noticed that it eased her patients’ anxiety and eventually, it became an essential part of her medical toolset.

“Oh, hi Youmu! Take a seat,” her assistant greeted cheerfully.

“Hi, Reisen…” The rabbit’s presence seemingly made her feel marginally less anxious as she sat on a chair opposite of Eirin.

“How may I help you?” Her tone was unchangingly friendly and calm.

Youmu fiddled with the hem of her skirt a little, her ghost half laying low behind the chair, “it’s… k-kind of embarrassing, um…”

“You have nothing to be afraid of.“ Eirin assured, “many people come to us with complaints they might deem embarrassing. I can assure you that it stays within the wall of this office.”

She stayed quiet for a little while, “well… it’s like… imagine having an uncomfortable shoe that you’re forced to wear every day. Um, that’s how I feel about my downstairs,” she nervously fidgeted with her hand, her face turning increasingly red, “I-I’d prefer if my outie was an innie i-if… you know what I mean.”

From behind her, the jade rabbit looked at her Master as if to find reassurance in her eyes that a cure for such an ailment is possible. She, however, lowered her gaze deep in thought for a few long seconds, chin in her right hand.

 “Yes, I understand,” she said finally. “It’s certainly possible to alleviate your feelings of discomfort.”

 “R-really?” Youmu looked like she was about to burst into tears, “I would be so endlessly grateful…”

“We will notify you when the cure is ready. Until then, unfortunately I have nothing to give you. Do your best to be patient and we will do ours to work on the solution,” she said in a matter of fact way.

“Y-yes, of course,” she stood up and bowed deeply, “thank you so so so very much.”

On her way out she waved to Reisen, who smiled and waved back. When she left, she turned back to her. “I’m glad we can help her, but… huh. I’ve never heard of such a condition before…”

“Me neither,” she agreed, “however, just because we cannot see the mountain, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”

The immense gratefulness her patient expressed towards her kept occupying the back of her mind. Who would think that such a bodily modification would relieve so much grief that it results in crying? Well, she wasn’t about to question mortals and their relationships to kegare. She had a job to do.

The next morning they already started working on the project. Usually, they don’t begin such ventures so soon, but Eirin did make a promise. The previous evening, she already trusted Reisen to get a few missing ingredients for her the next day. That morning she was out in the back a little distance away from the back gate that leads to the garden.

Just when the sun stopped tinting the clouds yellow, she finally arrived. “Good morning, Master,” she yawned as she started unpacking the bag of various vials on one of the collapsible desks.

“Good morning. Did you get everything?” 

“I think so, ”she pulled out a large bottle of yellow liquid and set it on the desk.

“Yes, or no?” She pushed. Ambivalence had no place in her doctor’s office, nor regarding anything else that had to do with her work. When she asks her assistant something, a definitive answer is a must.

“Yes, of course I did,” there was a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“Then make yourself useful, and start reducing this,” she glanced at the bottle she just placed on the desk, “and unless you forgot, you’re not talking to your dog.”

There came no reply, but a swift and efficient preparation for the procedure. Almost as good as an actual apology.

The reason they started working a little further away from the mansion was to prevent their ingredients’ and their chemical reactions’ smell from permeating it. They didn’t do this often, but some projects ask for dirty work to be done.

“Oh, eww!” They turned, hearing the Princess’ revulsion behind their backs.

“Please, put on a mask, Your Majesty,” Eirin said, her voice muffled by her protective gear.

“Oh, thank the Heavens!” Relieved, she did so. “It smells like someone had an accident here. A catastrophe level accident.”

“We’re currently reducing urine. A pregnant mare’s urine to be exact,” she explained. “That is the reason why I warned Your Majesty.”

“It smells more like you’re increasing it, to be quite honest,” she waved one of her hands in front of her face to imitate fanning away a pungent smell. 

“Heh,” Reisen gave her a brief, dimmed chuckle.

“Yes, you warned me,” she admitted, “but if all you’re going to say is ‘don’t go there, it reeks’ with no elaboration I will no doubt come and look anyway. I’m sure you knew that.”

”I did,” she gave her a confident look.

It was reciprocated with a chuckle, “of course, O kami of knowledge. Well-prepared as always.”

Eirin accepted the praise with a proud smile in her eyes before turning back to adjust the heat.

“That said, why are you boiling horse excreta?”

“Well, it’s for-”

Her Master interrupted by clearing her throat.

“A-ah, right. We made a promise that we wouldn’t tell anyone. That’s right!” She tried to correct herself, but it was way too late.

Eirin shook her head, “you’re rather out of your element today, Udonge. I was hoping it wouldn’t be so easy.”

“It?” She lifted an eyebrow, “w-wait, was that a test?”

She knew she could turn Kaguya’s bottomless well of curiosity to her advantage if it were to lead her here. Oftentimes, however, knowledge is a burden and being aware of her assistant’s loose lips certainly didn’t impress her.

“It was, and you failed,” she said in a matter of fact way, not even looking up from her work.

“Don’t be so mean to her, Eirin. She’s doing her best.”

Kaguya hesitated for a few seconds. “Reisen, imagine that I’m patting your head, I’m not going closer to whatever you’re doing.” 

She gave her a couple of nods of acknowledgement.

“That said, a little positive reinforcement can go a long way,” she looked at Eirin as if she could somehow will her to agree.

“No, no,” the rabbit disagreed, “Master’s right, I should be more careful when it comes to our patients’ personal data.”

“If I may add, she’s not a kitten anymore, Your Majesty,” Eirin said dryly.

“All right, fair,” the Princess rolled her eyes, “the patients come first, that much is true.”

They ended up working all day. A project like this was a delicate process, it required many careful steps, and utmost attention. Even at the dead of night, Eirin was tirelessly testing, retesting and taking notes in front of various tubes and bottles in her office. Her assistant, less so. 

She saw her having a hard time staying awake, so she gave her something less intensive to do, such as organizing herbs. Even then, it seemed like at this point she would better be off in bed. 

“Udonge,” Eirin spoke in a low voice so as not to make her jump.

“I’m awake!” Reisen was startled anyway.

“I know.” She assured, “I was about to tell you to go to bed. I’ll finish this by myself.”

She looked back at her for a moment before she stood up and stretched her back, “all right, I will.”

Her feet creaked the floor of the office for a step or two before unexpected silence. The moon rabbit turned back towards her, “Master?”

Eirin set aside a cup she’s been stirring a mixture of chemicals in, “yes?”

She bowed deeply, “Please, forgive me for my tone this morning. And that my work quality was poor today. I’m not sure what’s gotten into me, but I will do better from now on.”

For a couple of seconds, there was no answer. Her Master’s gaze was pinned to her ears that looked even more crumpled than usual. “Straighten your back.”

As she did so, she stood up to meet her confused gaze. She tried to straighten her ears as much as she could, however they seemed to be rather stubborn in keeping their shape. Her assistant did have to bow her head a little, so that she could properly reach them. 

“Have you purified today?” She asked.

“Erm… yes, yes I did.”

“Interesting.” 

That single word seemed to give Reisen a momentary burst of anxiety.

She finally got her ears to look marginally better, but they still somewhat hung before her eyes. “I forgive you, of course.” She said, “it seems like you need to do so once more today. Residual kegare might be the cause of your inadequate work performance.”

Relieved, Reisen gave her a smile, but then her expression turned more thoughtful. “I mean… it’s not like I’ve run into anything particularly disturbing today…”

“You didn’t need to,” she sat back down. “Let’s say one wants to go to the Village from here. One would need to wade through wild flora, that could at best slow them down, and at worst injure them. Moreover, there’s the threat of coming across dangerous wild animals or youkai, getting lost, and of course, getting tired along the way.” 

She took the cup in her hand and started stirring it again so that the chemicals in it wouldn’t stagnate, “even if one doesn’t fall victim to any of these threats, the annoyance, anxiety and frustration that might weigh on one’s mind, even for just a second, all generate impurity.”

“Oh, huh…” She blinked, “that makes a lot of sense actually. Kegare really is everywhere, isn’t it?”

“Due to the existence of life on this planet, it’s nearly impossible to not gain dangerous amounts in just a short period of time,” she explained. “You and the Princess are especially prone to it, which is why this mansion exists. And why we purify three times a day.”

Reisen nodded, “it all makes sense now, Master. So far I assumed those were just precautions. Since you don’t want to come alive, I mean.”

“They are precautions,” she said, “alive or not, small amounts or not, kegare can do way more harm than just inviting slips of tongue. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.”

Her tone ended up being tinted with a hint of disdain. Obviously, everyone is free to choose their own path, however the choice of burdening oneself with the impurities that come with living is a naive decision at best. 

Both Reisen and Kaguya coming alive was a result of a lack of care. Although the moon rabbit was already tainted by the time she showed up at the House of Eternity, the Princess’ case solely fell on Eirin’s shoulders. 

Kegare is something everyone and everything can rid themselves of. It’s not actually something that sticks to one permanently. That said, someone who’s already in the Cycle of Samsara has a hard time avoiding it, as life inherently carries it within itself. Hunger, thirst, fear, sickness, and fatigue among others are inevitable facts of life all taint one’s body and mind. It’s easy to forget to see the big picture and live by just the thin slice of existence those who were born are allowed. Thanks to this, one tends to grow attached to their suffering, whether they mean to or not.

Eirin concluded that her role didn’t change much from when she was a doctor on the moon. Effectively, it’s damage control; keeping kegare at bay on an individual level. Like what earthlings would call doctors, she does heal injuries, but she also alleviates conditions that they wouldn't consider illnesses, such as bad dreams, bad memories, or the way one sees the world.

The medicine she makes isn’t to relieve suffering, it’s for getting rid of kegare, the root of all suffering.

Though admittedly, her job was considerably easier when her patients weren’t actively working against her. Her companions already grew attached to the Earth. Her patients, being born here, moreso. Her stay on Earth proved to be somewhat of a challenge to her, which is why she considered the House of Eternity and the well-kept order within it her pride and joy. A piece of Heaven on Earth.

She thanked Reisen for her work, and after that, she was left alone.

Just her and the moonlight that shone through the window like a gentle parental caress.

Truly, the Earth posed new challenges to her, but she couldn’t not feel a certain somberness within the purifying shine of the Heavens. Although it was in good hands, in the back of her mind, she knew her lack of presence in the Capital would be felt through every facet of her brothers and sisters’ lives. Still, her duties bound her here.

This train of thought made her think about whether this is an earthly tie or not. No. She shut herself down immediately. Her oath binds her to Princess Kaguya, not the Earth. It wouldn’t matter where they would end up, the reason for her stay would always be her. This is the only way she can right her wrongs, after all.

Somehow, a pebble of unease sat in her belly as she turned her attention away from the snow white crown of the night sky, and back to her work.

Chapter Text

Like she predicted, it didn’t take too long to develop the cure. It was in part thanks to the fact that half of it was something Eirin already had on hand.

They were pills of their own making that could reverse anything into their original forms. This includes turning living tissue back into stem cells. With a couple of swapped ingredients, it’s easy to make them target only one particular body part. She usually uses them for painless amputation, but their effects allow for a wide variety of uses.

The project required one of these, and another pill. That one was a pure essence of femininity.

That too is able to suit one’s body no matter what it’s made out of. Together they would reverse the original body parts into stem cells and afterwards construct an ‘innie’ -as her patient put it- along with all other necessary organs of course. Thanks to hormones that the creation of such organs required, the pills also change the body itself to present more feminine. For incorporeal bodies, such as ghosts, phantoms and kami, only their shape would change.

Just a week later, the medicine was refined to perfection. It, as proven by various tests on animals, worked exactly as intended.

“The process takes 12 hours, during which you have to submerge the targeted body parts in water to simulate the natural environment genital development takes place in,” Eirin explained. “That is, inside the womb, surrounded by amniotic fluid.”

Youmu nodded eagerly.

“Furthermore, you mustn’t eat or drink anything 8 hours prior or during it, to not disrupt the process. All instructions are packaged with the pills themselves.”

She took the small packet in her hand, “I can’t thank you enough for this!”

“Before you do so, monitor yourself during the process and up to a month after. I included a form to fill out for convenience. In the highly unlikely case of anything going wrong, take the antidote I also included, and notify me immediately,” she said sternly.

“O-o-of course!” She bowed respectfully once more, “still, you’ve done so much for me already! Thank you very much, sir!”

“Bye!” Waved Reisen with a cheerful laugh, “did you see her, Master? She was so…”

Eirin stood there motionless, looking at the place her patient stood just a minute ago. She narrowed her eyes, “...sir?”

“...well, she wasn’t supposed to call you ma’am, after all… haha…” Seeing that she wouldn’t reply, with the same lightheartedness, or rather, at all, she lowered her already soft spoken voice.

“She… was, actually,” she turned to her. “I’m a woman.” 

“...oh…” Reisen looked away out of embarrassment for a couple of seconds, “ahaha… this is rather awkward… Uh, so far I thought you were a man as well, Master.”

Eirin blinked at her in confusion. Every move, every spoken word, every gesture of hers flashed in front of her eyes, determined to find what might be the cause of this. Her conduct is proper, so are her words, clothing and voice. Something must have gone under her radar. Something that needs to be found and corrected to not endanger the residents of the House of Eternity.

“I-I mean it happens to everyone sometimes, right?” Although pretty late and unnecessary, Reisen tried to save what was salvageable. “There are plenty of women with prominent adam’s apples, after all.”

Almost reflexively, as if she had a sore throat she put a hand right under her chin.

“O-or women who are doctors, or archers, or-”

“That’s enough, Udonge,” she raised her voice just enough to silence her. “We have patients to take care of right now.” 

That’s what she said, however, her mind wasn’t quite taken up by the complaints of the sick anymore.

Getting ready for bed that night, she found herself finishing much slower than usual. She kept observing herself every step of the way. Her form was suddenly strange, her movement unnatural, her gaze not her own.

And worst of all, no matter how hard she thought, she had no idea what caused this.

These feelings were completely foreign to her.

“...NO MA SU A SE E HO RE KE.” Her voice rang out, singing words of blessing in a low, yet silvery voice that audibly bore her age. It seemed to rid her of the strange sensations. In fact, it reassured her that her half-a-millennium long practice was worth it.

Her relief though, didn’t last. Even after a purification ritual, the feelings only lessened for so long. She couldn’t shake the feeling that her worries laid within the mirror.

Once more, before she went to sleep, she returned to the bathroom. However, if anything, it seemed to make the problem worse.

When long sleeves no longer hid cold marble branches of tangled wood and the high collar no longer protected her voice from view, coldness ran along her spine.

She averted her gaze. The gnarled white twigs covered the poorly carved pipe. 

“...Master?” 

The voice seemingly drove away any and all that was wrong. More accurately, she herself did. She straightened her back and faced her directly. She had to act properly in front of her student.

“...is something wrong?” She fretted.

“Why do you always think something is wrong?” Eirin asked in a lighthearted tone.

“Well… you’re up pretty late after all… and you seemed pretty… disgusted and embarrassed just a moment ago.”

If anything, she was satisfied with her student’s ability to read expressions. It’s an important ability to have in the medical field as it helps determine where the cause of patients’ complaints lie. 

Eirin always did her best to cover up what’s actually going on inside her head, to the point where she could do it in her sleep. After some time, however, Reisen seemed to have caught on to some of her more subtle mannerisms.

“You’re also up late,” she retorted in a flat tone.

“Yes. I need to use the lavatory,”  

“Well, that’s why I came here as well.”

“...with an open door…?” She lifted an eyebrow.

“My, you’re awfully chatty tonight,” she raised her tone suddenly. “Do you need to go or not? You’ll need to get up early this morning.” 

“Yes, yes, of course,” she bowed apologetically.

Just as Eirin thought their paths would diverge for the night, she heard Reisen’s voice once more, “um, just one more thing…”

Reluctantly, she faced her again.

“Um… it’s pretty cool that you’re a woman, you know?” She tried her best to lighten the mood, but all she received as a reply was a questioning look.

“As in uh,... now that I know, we could do girl stuff together! Me and my friends go uh, eat, and chat and to the market for fun, and… I thought you could come with us…sometime…”

She gave her a single chuckle of contempt, “Do cranes and crows fly together, Udonge?” If she could read her expressions well, she expected her to read her tone too.

“...no, Master” she looked at the ground in shame. “I’m sorry. I’ll… leave you be, now. I’ve said enough already today.”

And, so she did. She hoped she wouldn’t have to spell it out to her that she had no intention of spending time with earthlings outside of what’s necessary. 

Right as she finished a bow of goodbye, Eirin felt something thick and heavy in her chest. She walked out of the bathroom without a word.

The feeling sat in her for a little while longer before she rid herself of it. She instead tried to think about what she told her. 

Disgusted and embarrassed.

Of… what?

The image in the mirror came back to her, and with it, the same emotions. 

Was it… her body? 

That’s impossible . She and the rest of the Lunarians had bodies that can hardly be called that. Nothing but pure energy, even if they have shapes that make them practically indistinguishable from humans. Unlike a mortal, she has no body to hate.

Unlike a mortal…

With hastened steps, she walked down the hallway with a bottle of purified water and a tinderbox in her hands, along with a portable lantern to light her way. She arrived at the moon gate which served as the entrance to the mansion. Above it hung a polished rectangular device with symmetrical grooves on it. 

Eirin took a long hooked tool off the wall opposite of the gate. She lit her tinderbox and ran the small flame thoroughly along the hook. She then stuck the hook into a small hole on top of the device and carefully lowered it onto the floor she knew Reisen cleaned and purified some hours ago.

She then poured some of the water on the device. Thanks to its hydrophobic surface and the perfectly engineered way it was cut, every last drop of it rolled into the grooves, filling them up completely.

“Oh! What are you doing this late?” The Princess’ yawn broke the stillness of the night.

“I’m measuring kegare levels, Your Majesty,” she turned her head to face her. For some reason she lowered her chin more than usual. “What are you doing this late, if I may ask?”

It’s not like she minded her company, but this time she would have definitely preferred to have been left alone.

She came to join her in the lantern light, “I see. Well, I cannot sleep so I wanted to take a walk in the garden, but I’d rather watch the meter go up with you.”

It seems like she had little choice now. Insomnia might be connected to kegare levels, and if so, she deserved to know as well. Besides, one debate for the night was more than enough for her.

They watched together as the bottom of the middle groove slowly turned black. Then, it started climbing upwards.

“0.1 ▚▜,” Kaguya said out loud.

The unit of measurement for impurity was a Lunarian character shortening the name Eirin received from her divine parent. That is because she was the one who invented this device.

“I’m not sure why this is needed when we have the udonge bonsai in the living room,” she pondered.

“By the time it would bloom, it would be too late, Your Majesty,” she explained. “Kegare begets kegare; the more there is, the more it creates and the more difficult it becomes to fight it. The meter would reach 1.0 ▚▜ if the udonge were to ever bloom. At which point, the mansion  would be as tainted as the rest of the Earth. The standard level in the Capital is 0.1 ▚▜, the mansion’s is 0.3 ▚▜.”

“And this,” the Princess put a hand on Eirin’s back, “is ▚▜ ▚▜.”

They both chuckled. It was clever wordplay. Lunarian nicknames were often a shortening of one’s name said twice in quick succession. 

Despite that, she felt oddly indifferent about the sweet gesture and by extension, the name itself.

"Are kegare levels never zero?" Kaguya’s voice broke her train of thought.

"They never are. No matter how purified something is kept, some impurities will always remain."

"Mhm…" She nodded in understanding.

As the meter reached 0.3, the Princess stayed silent, seemingly deep in thought.

"Then… wouldn't it be all the same whether it’s 0.1 or 1.0 ▚▜ ?"

"Your Majesty…?" She hoped she wasn't about to suggest what she thought she would.

"I mean, if it's everywhere anyway, why should we tire ourselves with cleaning it up all the time?"

Although she had no idea what to make of the intentions of this perplexing question, for the sake of Kaguya, she chose to view it as simple curiosity.

"The same reason we clean dust, Your Majesty," she explained. "Do you remember how dusty it was behind the firewood?"

"Yes," she laughed, "all because Reisen forgot to clean it for months."

"Precisely," she nodded, making sure she knew she was unamused about the event.

"I understand now what you meant," she concluded with a chuckle. "Although humans do pretty well for themselves for living in a lot of kegare all the time."

"Exactly. For themselves." Eirin said flatly,  "they have their own standards and we have our own."

"Hmm. Well, alright." 

As the silence between them grew longer, she concluded with satisfaction that she successfully convinced her Princess about the importance of thorough purification.

“0.5.” Kaguya said in a warning, yet light tone.

Eirin let out a breath she didn’t even notice she was holding. 

“Just like I suspected.” Ironically, relief washed over her seeing that the blackness climbed way past the average amount.

So this was the reason for her strange feelings after all. Most likely an effect of kegare in combination with her realizing that her disguise was inefficient. Just this realization in and of itself seemed to rid her of any and all impurities she accumulated that night.

Finally, she knew what her next course of action would be.

For a month or so afterwards, every interaction she had with mortals became an intricate game of reading social signals. Not that it wasn’t before, but this time her focus was on their perspective on her person. Something that wouldn’t just passingly come up in a conversation. It was always present, even when it wasn’t talked about.

She carefully studied their interactions with the other residents of the mansion as well when she had the chance. This was for the sake of comparison; noting the differences between mortals' interactions with her, versus others.

“The results speak loud and clear, like anticipated,” she said, “out of 106 participants, an overwhelming 96’s behavior suggested the inadequacy of my disguise. This could potentially endanger everyone in the House of Eternity, as my identity could be revealed.” She explained to Princess Kaguya.

“There is a solution to this however,” Eirin continued. “Recently, a patient of mine requested me to create a medicine that would help her present herself as a woman. This may result in increased width in the thighs and fullness of the chest area. All of which earthlings associate with femininity, and none of which are currently qualities I possess.”

The Princess, although sat through most of the presentation impassively, by time she was wrapping up, she had her full attention.

“From my patient’s reports, it was made obvious that the pills function as intended, with no side effects,” she spoke while looking at her notebook, “and in fact, no increase in kegare levels. If anything, they decreased.”

She snapped it closed, and faced Kaguya directly, in a hushed tone, “as you may know, the mansion’s own kegare levels have risen recently. In times like this, one’s judgement might fail. For this reason, mortals rely on the assistance of one another to make objective decisions. ‘More eyes see better’ as they say.”

With a respectfully bowed head, she continued, “and thus, for the sake of the House of Eternity, I turned to you for your honest opinion, Your Majesty.”

She met her gaze, “shall I proceed with this plan?”

Eirin found comfort within those bright ebony eyes. They were a piece of home to her; eternally standing anchors in a world where chaos runs rampant. One could simply chalk that up to her ability to manipulate eternity and the instantaneous, however she always had an air around her that dispels all illusions and misbeliefs.

She was a sharp woman; always knew the perfect time to seize an opportunity. What a shame that she never used her wits to their full potential. Her most recent interests almost solely revolved around earthlings, for one. She has been trying to involve her with bonsai care, however she never talked about that with the same shine in her eyes.

That said, the two shared a strong bond that survived long distances in time and space. If she would trust anyone with a decision like this, it would be her.

The Princess’ eagerness was only given away by her swift reply and unshakable certainty “You should take it.”

She continued, “like you said, it has no drawbacks whatsoever. I don’t think it could hurt to take them, but if you don't, the possibility of danger would always be there. Better be safe than sorry.”

Eirin nodded with a smile, “thank you, Your Majesty. Your input is well appreciated.”

A little delayed, she answered, “of course! I was glad to help.” 

Before she left, she was stopped. “Eirin?”

“Yes, Your Majesty?”

“Does this mean we’ll have a bath party soon?” She asked with a smile.

Her idea amused Eirin, “I actually planned on sleeping through the process.”

“Aww… oh well, it’s your new body after all,” she shrugged. “Still, I’ll be there for moral support.”

That’s certainly a way to put it, she surmised silently. “I really appreciate it, Your Majesty.”

They exchanged a friendly smile before Eirin left.

She planned on beginning the procedure right as she had the opportunity.

As soon as she could, she told Reisen too about her plan. Expectedly, she was rather dumbfounded about it, just not exactly the way she anticipated.

"Oh…" 

The jade rabbit scratched the back of her neck.

"Oh?" She tilted her head questioningly, but not because she didn't know what she was thinking. The question asked for elaboration. She knew what this was going to be about again.

"Yes, of course I'll prepare it, it's just," she paused, "I just don't think it's necessary to do. You don't need to be feminine to be a woman, Master."

Eirin let out a sigh. Obviously, she had no idea about the fact that this is just a disguise, and she had no intention of telling her about it.

After a couple of seconds of thinking, she replied. "This is about you, the Princess, and the mansion. Nothing more, nothing less. This is all you need to understand."

The look she received as a reply was puzzled to say the least. "But… this is your body we're talking about. What about you, Master?"

"My duty is protecting you and the House of Eternity to the best of my ability. This is a necessary measure in keeping everything safe, and I would be a fool not to take it. The cost doesn’t matter."

Confused eyes stared back at her, "you… worry me…"

Worry her… Eirin was appalled. It was the greatest insolence to imply that she was her or anyone’s equal who was conceived on this damned planet.

Although the thought that this was just a simple gesture of sympathy sprouted in her mind, she stomped it out immediately.

She stepped closer to her. This time, her voice was low. "Are you suggesting that I do not know what’s good for me? For all of us?"

“Th-th-that’s not what I meant…” anxiety trembled within her words.

Reisen of course knew that she wasn’t asking for her opinion. 

“I know exactly what you meant." Her tone was flat. “Save your concerns for the people of Earth and begin preparations already, will you?”

“Y-yes, Master” she gave a defeated bow.

Music to Eirin’s ears.

Chapter Text

Her name was called.

The momentary nothing broke away before her.

Something harsh slowly filled her chest like a thick liquid, stretching the prickly fibers of her back. Her mind wanted to slip back into warm comfortable blackness to avoid the feeling, but something akin to taps on a window kept running back and forth under her skin. 

Frowning, she opened tired eyes. She was met with the dim shine of lanterns that, although weren’t crafted for heating, warmed her body.

“Eirin! 12 hours have passed!” The Princess’s voice made her head turn to her right. Small bubbles popped in her neck. 

“Twelve hours of what, Your Majesty?” Her voice was honey against dry sandstone. 

The warm light painted outlines on their faces. From Kaguya’s excitement that streaked her cheeks with laugh lines, across Reisen’s curiously quivering nose and twitching whiskers breaking the dim yellows, her eyes fell on the notepad her assistant was holding.

“Has it been twelve hours already?” Her surprise was only indicated by her suddenly attentive gaze.

“Yes!” An excited nod followed the exclamation.

“Please give me a report, Master.”

Her left shoulder lightly cracking, she sat up. The water was lukewarm now. She barely would have even felt it if it weren’t for it blowing a cold breeze on the parts of her body it once covered.

Nothing to report, she almost said reflexively before her mind cleared enough that she realized that something did feel different. Somehow, everything did.

“Nothing to report.” Still, she decided to keep it all to herself, at least until she figured out what caused them.

Right after Reisen finished writing it down, Kaguya took the pen and the notebook from her hands. “Go, cover her eyes,” she put them on the nearby desk. She turned to Eirin this time, “I will get a mirror. We won’t peek, we promise.”

“I don’t mind you seeing me naked,” she replied nonchalantly. 

She disappeared into the dark corridor with a snicker. 

She concluded internally that the Princess has spent way too long among the mortals of Earth. Not that she didn’t know that already, she more so noted that she didn't seem to be able to strip herself of their influences. Certainly, anyone can purify oneself of the effects of kegare, but the rate of success relies a lot on the individual. She, with all due respect, underperformed.

Bashfulness about being exposed is behavior specific to humans. It could have to do with the fact that they’re flesh and blood unlike she was, but still, bodies are just that. Bodies. Wanting to decorate them or protect them from the elements was one thing, but no body part is something to be ashamed of or laughed at.

Reisen watched as Kaguya left the doctor’s office. “Heh… Well, I suppose she rejected all her suitors for a reason.”

Before Eirin could even react to her perplexing remark, the slide of something heavy scraped on the wooden planks of the corridor. 

The rabbit sprang to help, “why didn’t Your Majesty tell me you’re going to get the large mirror?”

“Shoo! Shoo! Hands off!” She lightly slapped away her hands, “you go cover her eyes, because you can comfortably reach that high.”

“Why do I need to do that again?”

“To make it a surprise, obviously!” In the meanwhile she pulled the mirror opposite them and started arranging it.

Reisen and Eirin looked at each other, then away in embarrassment.

“I will step out of the bathtub first.” 

More bubbles popped in her joints. There was a momentary blur in her vision as she stood up, and stepping outside, her back to the mirror, she felt a gust of breeze spiking the lower half of her body right before her eyes were covered.

All these sensations felt completely unconnected to the effects of the pills. She attempted to make sense of them as she was guided over to the middle of the room. Clumsy, crude, naked steps on a floor that didn’t exist and yet isn’t sanded nearly well enough diverted her attention. Now, her only anchors in these circumstances were Reisen’s commands.

Standing before the mirror, a new feeling took hold of her. 

Mercury filled her stomach. The liquid metal rose up from it, tainting her mouth with its taste. Hard hooves pounded the soil of her body. War steeds with blood gushing from their noses. 

“Eirin?” As if the Princess' voice bore the purity of consecrated salt, it tamed the tremors.

“...yes?” 

“Did you know that you have a strangely triangular birthmark on your belly?”

“...yes, Your Majesty.” Well, they do say one shouldn’t look an offertory horse in the mouth.

“I’m sure you did, it’s just that I saw it for the first time.”

She giggled, but from the tone of her voice, Eirin now knew it was more than just a childish remark. It was intentional and it allowed her a breath of relief.

“I’m ready,” she said firmly.

“On three!”

Reisen counted…, “one, two, three,” …and finally, the sight was revealed.

“Oh!”

What she saw in the mirror made her think of the chilled, fine dunes of the Moon. Her willowy stature gave way to pale curves dotted with birthmarks here and there, matched with the shoulders of an archer. 

It was her.

“What’s… wrong…?” Reisen sounded concerned. 

Eirin timidly ran her hands down her noticeably more plump lower body. She turned to take a look at her backside as well, and was met with a well-muscled back that now lacked the rough valleys of ripples she was so used to.

The grounds of the Moon were still and undisturbed, its gardens perfectly maintained, its peach trees cut with utmost care. 

Brief joyful laughter broke from her lungs.

It felt to her as if everything fell into place. As if everything that thus far remained hidden from even her now showed their faces. 

At last, everything was how it should be.

The mirror reflected the surprised, no, shocked face of Reisen, and a similarly astonished Kaguya stood behind it.

As soon as she realized what her revelation must have looked like to them, anxiety held her heart in its cold hand. She cleared her throat and composed herself.

“May I get a towel?”

Her words seemed to break their surprise. “Uh, y-yes, of course!” Said Reisen, and immediately went to get one.

When she was hidden from them, rummaging behind a screen, Eirin was left alone with Kaguya. The awkward silence between them was broken by a quiet giggle. “I’m glad you like it so much,” she smiled.

Eirin smiled back, but somehow she wanted to avoid making eye contact with her.

Finally, the large towel was put on her shoulders. She just now realized how cold she was that she felt the soft fabric create an air of warmth around her body.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” the rabbit shrugged.

“Now,” everyone’s eyes were on Kaguya, “it’s time to celebrate!”

Eirin lifted an eyebrow. She just now realized how oddly proactive her Princess was that night. “What’s the occasion?”

“I have never heard you laugh like that before! Isn’t that enough of a reason for one?”

Is it? She found the idea baffling. Victories, weddings and births; occasions that matter call for festivities. Why would a laugh warrant one?

“I can cook up some spring rolls and we could watch the Moon in the front garden.” Reisen chimed in excitedly.

Actually, she wouldn’t have minded a spring roll or two. Nor spending some time with her companions after her project’s undeniable success.

“It sounds like a good idea,” she said finally.

She left the room hearing their excited talks. This little celebration seemed to make them both pretty enthusiastic. Especially Kaguya. 

Making her way to her room, now she finally had some time to think through the events of that day. 

Certainly the procedure was a success. Even when she stood naked in front of her own mirror in her room, she could barely tear her eyes away from the sight. She almost didn’t even want to get dressed. 

It just then dawned on her that this is what her patient must have felt when she got access to these pills. The implications of which made her pause.

“ Imagine having an uncomfortable shoe that you’re forced to wear every day, ” she recalled while she put on her undergarments. She gladly noted that they were already starting to tighten around her hips. 

However that description didn’t apply to her until very recently. Until kegare levels raised. 

“ That would certainly explain it ,” she thought. Although something in the back of her mind told her that that wasn’t the whole answer. Perhaps it wasn’t, but she was prone to think something went under her radar, when the wheel of fortune turned in her favor. Stopping this train of thought was for the greater good.

Her body changing in a way she ended up being fond of definitely came as an unexpected positive. There were still of course certain parts that she closed her eyes to to keep her mind at peace, but they seemed to be dwarfed next to everything else. So much so, that she wouldn’t have minded in the slightest if she had to spend rest of her existence as a woman.

Just as she finished buttoning up her high collared shirt, a strange growl sounded from her belly. She put a questioning hand on it, but as she felt the emptiness of her stomach, a cold shiver crept up on her back.

She listed the symptoms she experienced with great attention. 

A strong sense of smell, back pain, rhythmic tremors… 

Certainly strange, but nothing she hasn't experienced already before.

…cracking in her arms and neck, momentary dizziness, being cold…

Again, unusual, but not impossible for her to feel normally.

…hunger… and those tremors again…  

A little concerning, but higher kegare levels can explain it. However…

…those tremors again…  

She laid her palm on her chest, dreading to feel again what she thought she would feel.

…heartbeats.

Suddenly, she fully felt the weight of hunger and fatigue drag her down. She felt her skin against her own skin, saggy, scaly and oily. Her muscles stretching around her bones with every breath, her blood coursing through her body like squirming worms, and her organs groaning and writhing against one another.

She stood there, frozen.

She was alive.

…no… 

Impossible. She herself collected, purified and monitored the pills’ ingredients. They had no side effects from the tests and her patients’ reports. Her kegare levels decreased … 

As she thought through every possible instance where she could have made a mistake and the numbers of them decreased and decreased, her stomach started turning. 

She needed to sit down. 

Just as anxiety started faltering her breath she caught herself. 

No. This isn’t like her! This isn’t worthy of an amatsukami. 

An amatsukami … 

Was she even one of them anymore? When her clothing now hid a body that is always needy and never satisfied?

With a sigh, she realized that there was no point in searching in the past. If there’s no solution to be found there, one must look to the future.

Her first thought was of course to take the antidote. This can be reversed, she always made sure that all of her projects can be. The thought however, made her chest ache. 

Once more, she looked into the mirror. Worried, almost pleading eyes gazed back at her, before they were averted in shame. 

If that were the case… if she reversed the effect of the pills, she would have to give up her new body. This vessel of porcelain. This beating wing of a luna moth. This blink of life.

Her eyes fell on her clenched fists in her lap. As she relaxed them, she saw the soft pink color return to her fingers. Even those roughly carved marble hands suddenly started feeling less foreign to her. They were just… her.

The incorporeal body she used to have came to her mind. A sacred gift from her divine parent that they created from their own boundless knowledge in their image. That was, before human perception molded it on its own whims. Wisdom is a man’s virtue according to them, and that’s what she ended up resembling as well. Reversing the pills’s effects would mean she would return to just that.

And shamefully, she couldn’t.

She couldn’t have.

For a minute or two, she sat with the thought, before taking a deep breath.

The way may be close by, but that is why you must seek it far away, she told herself.

She thought through what other options she had. The easiest of which would have been no different as to what she did before as a Lunarian. Living as a pure mortal on the Earth was very much possible.

The Buddha lived on this planet for longer than the average human lifespan allows for, and he never lost his purity. In fact, several people achieved this state. Eirin was an amatsukami, as close to buddhahood as one can possibly get. She should have no problem retaining her purity as a mortal.

This is it. This will be her next course of action.

With newfound confidence, she put on her long red and blue dress. It was now a little ill-fitting, but nothing a thread and a needle cannot fix. She would tend to it later, she didn’t want to keep Reisen and Kaguya waiting.

Some final touches later, her reflection looked back at her contened once more. 

By the time she arrived in the garden, it seemed like Reisen had already prepared the spring rolls. Their smell made Eirin’s mouth water as soon as she stepped out of the entrance.

The gardens and the mansion was surrounded by a wall as protection against youkai among other unwanted guests. A white path slithered among methodically placed rocks and trees. It led to the main gate, and branched off to the right to an open area with an outdoor table. That’s where the rabbit and the Princess were chatting.

That night, the light of the waxing moon caressed the flora with its pure white shine and illuminated the ivory path and the decorative boulders.

Eirin joined her companions in their joyful conversation.

“At last, Eirin!” The Princess greeted her with a chuckle, “a minute or more and you would have been left without food.

She took a seat with a smile. “Since when has this household become a dog eat dog world?”

“Ever since I became hungry. Now eat while you can!” With that she took one of the spring rolls and started devouring it.

Eirin and Reisen both chuckled at her ravenousness before taking a spring roll for themselves as well.

As soon as she tasted it, she could barely stop herself from taking a large greedy bite. It tasted a lot better than she remembered. Or perhaps it wasn’t the taste, but the absence of anything in her stomach that made its flavors so rich and appetizing.

The thought of her mortality started lingering in her mind again, but she brushed it off. That’s something to worry about later. Now, there existed nothing but her, her student and her Princess; and the Moon keeping an eye on them like a watchful parent.

For once, they talked about mundane, everyday things. They talked rarely about subjects that weren't related to a project of hers or something to be solved. This time they would gossip about the eternally quibbling tengu and kappa and of course, the ordinary magician, who made a visit to them not so long ago in hopes of getting her hands on their peaches.

During their talks, the topic of fairies seemed to crop up multiple times for one reason or another. Certainly, they tended to cause more trouble than youkai, there was much to talk about regarding them.

“...I’m sure they invented jinx to prank people.” Kaguya laughed, “fairies can be horrible little beasts.

She mentioned a game of theirs which involves forbidding someone from talking if they say something at the same time as someone else, and fail to say “jinx” first. That is, until they say a word the same time as someone else once more, which gets them the opportunity to pass the curse to another person.

“I highly doubt they have the foresight to do this on purpose,” Eirin shook her head.

“Oh, you don’t know them,” she disagreed. “Some of them are scarily smart. Especially that one with the red stripe blue stars dress.”

She concluded that that’s where the human flag must have ended up getting after it was thrown from the Moon and played with by the fairies of the forest. Though what interested her more is the fact that the Princess too met that fairy enough times to get to know it. This is all despite the fact that it lived far away from the bamboo forest.

“In any case, I can see that Your Majesty has been getting some fresh air,” Eirin commented nonchalantly. However she too knew that this wasn’t just some passing remark.

“Just like the doctor prescribed,” she took a sip of her drink while keeping eye contact with her. Certainly, two can play that game.

“That much is certainly true. However,” she stealthily picked some burs off the edge of her skirt before presenting them to her, “I don’t remember prescribing these.”

Kaguya forced a laugh, “well, perhaps you’re the one who needs to take them.”

Reisen tried and failed to keep her chuckles quiet. They did go silent however when the Princess shot her an unamused glance.

“Silybum marianum,” Eirin continued. 

“Don’t swear at me.”

“Also known as milk thistle. It certainly has memory enhancing attributes. However, let’s look at not the what, but the where.” She placed the seeds into a small packet, then hid it in a pocket of hers. The packet itself had kegare-sealing qualities, anything put in it would be purified.

The fact that she remembered one of the effects of this plant came quite as a surprise to her. She didn’t doubt her ability to retain information of course, she more so doubted her interest in herbal medicine.

She continued, “they’re only found within certain locations within Gensokyo, such as the Garden of the Sun and the surrounding fields.”

“And around your garden,” Kaguya added. “You were the one to ask me to bring peonies last week, weren’t you?”

“My garden, unlike the Garden of the Sun, is periodically purified,” she shot back. “However, kegare levels have been higher than normal ever since you’ve been bringing back these burs. Which, I might add, didn’t start happening last week. Therefore, your trips there would certainly explain them.”

The two looked at one another for a long second. Kaguya’s brows furrowed just the slightest bit in confusion.

She crossed her arms, “they certainly wouldn’t, because kegare levels haven’t been that high for that long.”

Eirin gave her a knowing look.

“Oh, bother.”

“Your Majesty…”

“All right, you got me… I admit it…” the Princess said with a sigh.

“We’re working really hard at preserving the purity of the mansion, Your Majesty, “she said sternly. “We would appreciate it if you took this seriously.”

There was a bit of silence. Kaguya looked away, her head bowed.

“I thought you… … … …,” she grumbled something under her nose.

“Come again?”

“Is it so bad that I spend time with them?” 

The conversation died right then and there. Both her companions were looking at her wide-eyed, and she looked back with a gaze just as intent as theirs. The moon rabbit however, knew that this wasn’t her time to involve herself. She hung low.

Eirin herself was caught off-guard. It wasn’t at all like Princess Kaguya to oppose her this boldly.

“They have their own way of life, and we have ours,” she replied.

“What’s wrong with wanting to share it with them? Or if they want to do so?”

“You’re just going to end up tangled up in their lives again, Your Majesty,” Eirin raised a voice of concern.

Kaguya remained silent.

“I’m sure I don’t need to remind you about the last time that happened,” she said firmly.

The neverending line of suitors was just the tip of the iceberg of what she was subjected to in the first centuries of her life on Earth… 

She told Eirin about her surrogate father succumbing to greed, the loved ones she lost to circumstances completely out of her control, arbitrary rules she was forced to follow every hour of the day… Many of which she passed down to Eirin so the people of the Moon wouldn’t recognize her even if they found her.

Kaguya opposed with determination, “those were different times. Many things have changed since then.”

“As much as everything changes, everything stays the same,” Eirin explained. “Just because their battles are no longer fought with swords, they still fight. And although they no longer do so for gold and power, they still do for faith and territory.”

“That doesn’t mean they don’t have their own stories to tell or things to show that are worth seeing.” She stood her ground just as firm as she did.

“Even the greatest of mortals are limited by the kegare they inherently accumulate from birth, and even their lives inevitably end in tragedy. They have nothing to offer to Your Majesty that my little piece of the Heavens can’t provide much better.”

The Princess’ hung her shoulders. Her expression reflected disbelief. 

“Does Your Majesty really think their blinks of lives are worth getting your hands dirty for?”

She lowered her gaze. “I guess not…” She let her eyes fall onto the dark greens of the garden’s flora.

Eirin, although seemingly succeeded in convincing her, she couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied. Sort of… empty. That, sometimes, is a part of her job. She had to keep her safe, even if it meant she had to keep her safe from herself.

The rest of their time spent together that night was done so in silence. There was an air of unease that weighed on their shoulders. Eirin knew that it would fade soon enough, but a feeling that was foreign to her kept nagging her. 

She was left at a loss. There wasn’t an optimal solution this time. It seemed like it was best to really just leave things be and let them improve on their own. Even so, it felt like she didn’t do everything she could, even when that’s exactly what she did.

As if to ask the Heavens themselves for guidance, she directed her gaze at the waxing moon. Still proudly shining as ever as the emperor of the night sky. 

Somehow, however, the purifying light did nothing to lighten her heart this time.

Then, something shining and slow-moving appeared behind it, just as bright as the moonlight itself. Like a raindrop on the surface of a glass window, it slowly swam lower and lower in the night sky, leaving a trail of light behind it. Then appeared another, then another. 

Eirin’s eyes were nailed to the sight, as if she couldn’t bear to take them off of it, even if she wanted to.

A quiet gasp from Reisen’s mouth directed even the Princess’s gaze on the strange occurrence. 

By this time there were tens of them in the sky.

“…shooting… stars…?” Kaguya didn’t sound like she believed her own words.

“Lunar veils…” Eirin half whispered.

“Udonge.” Her firm voice made Reisen flinch, “contact the rabbits of the Moon. And quickly.”

With a nod and a gulp, she stood up and walked forward into the rustling foliage of the garden. Collecting herself, she gazed at the Moon intensely, as if she wanted to swallow it whole. She didn’t say anything, her jaw however slowly hinged open as the minutes slowly dragged by.

“Reisen?”

She slowly backed beside Eirin and Kaguya, not taking her gaze off the Moon for even a second. When she sat down, she hung her head. Her eyes were darting all over the place as if she was frantically looking for meaning, “I-I’m sorry, I’m…,” she spoke finally, “it’s… there’s… complete chaos up there.”

Both looked at her, visibly worried.

“What did you hear?” Eirin asked, doing her best to keep her voice calm and collected.

“I… I don’t know, it was so hard to make out. Just panicked hectic thoughts all over the place about not wanting to die…”

The moon rabbits seemed to be in danger.

“And… and other times it was about ‘orders’ being ‘carried out’, and… people fearing for their masters…” 

“The purification troops?”

She shook her head, “I-I haven’t heard anything about them or from them… I didn’t dare ask anything, I…”

“You did well, Udonge,” Eirin reassured. 

“Listen to me now.” She stood up, prompting Reisen and Kaguya to do the same. 

She knew how much power her words have, and for that reason, she chose them carefully. 

“This isn’t a storming of the Earth.”

Their tense shoulders seemed to have dropped just the slightest bit.

“There’s mass panic on the Moon, however, the purification troops are not involved. This can only mean one thing: people are being forced out of the Capital. Possibly by Lord Tsukuyomi’s orders. We have no information on what’s happening exactly, but whatever it is, it is nothing for us to worry about.”

It couldn’t have been a dangerous outside force that would pose a threat to them and the Earth. If it was, the Capital would take care of it without anyone noticing. Nothing matches the power of one amatsukami, let alone thousands of them. Certainly, some sort of internal conflict drove these people to leave home.

Both of them seemed to have been significantly relieved by the good news in strong contrast with Eirin’s leaden belly.

“That said,” she continued, “we cannot know just who is being displaced. They may or may not mean danger to us.”

Her gaze was cast on Kaguya now, “which means we ought to lay low for at least the coming week.”

She gave her no answer.

A little later, still a bit uncertain and worried, they headed for their bedrooms for the night. Eirin herself got up the steps of the entrance as well, yet hung back still in the circular doorway.

She faced the darkness of space that hung heavily upon the bamboo forest and the faraway mountains like a mourning veil.

Exposed under the open skies, she stood there, watching the Moon cry.

Chapter Text

“They seem to have stopped, thankfully.”

After a not especially calm night, the sun rose again. Not only did it hide the Moon from mortal sight, but ended the scattering of its pieces as well.

“It was so surreal last night. I suppose now I know what the fairy siege of the Capital felt like to Earth people,” Reisen said, relieved.

Eirin replied after a bit of silence, “I’m assuming nothing else has happened since then.”

“Not that I know of,” she shrugged lightly.

As they turned at one of the many corners of the mansion, they walked towards the moon gate. It now cast the sun on the floor and sent the light bouncing around in the corridor. Reisen was already in full gear, ready to embark on selling medicine to the humans of Gensokyo.

“We better stay vigilant, still.” Eirin said. “We saw them from all the way here, which means that they will all land here in Gensokyo. Since you’re already going to the village, keep an eye out for newcomers and report anything odd.”

“Yes, Master,” with a bow, she left through the entrance, leaving Eirin alone in the hallway.

Last night’s events still lived vividly in her mind. Everything was under control of course, but now the possibility of things going wrong multiplied with the arrival of so many of her brothers and sisters.

She knew she had to take her mind off it for now to minimize the chances of that happening. By this time her Princess would surely be in the back garden, so she decided to join her in tending to bonsai. Just like in the good old days, when the ground was white and still, and the sun never changed the color of the sky.

As she approached the garden, she heard the quiet snipping of scissors. Together with the rustling of leaves and the gentle lapping of the water of their pond, they almost sounded like a hushed, harmonized orchestra. 

Stepping out the back entrance, Eirin saw Kaguya idly working away at the trees; all cut with mathematical perfection and organized in the same manner. She watched her carefully bind them with little effort. Her small, skillful hands molded them like clay, yet despite all the work they never grew rough or lost their grace.

It wasn’t unusual for her to watch over her from the shadow of their peach tree in the vain hopes of emulating just a shred of her elegance. Regardless of the pills, she knew she still had a long way to go. 

The thought of taking more lessons from the Princess was something she tended to avoid on purpose. She could achieve better results when she practiced alone and wasn’t looked at. Although, remembering her supportiveness made her reconsider for a moment. 

Either way, she was glad to see her keeping herself busy; when she didn’t she would often resolve to drastic ways of occupying herself. She would prefer there not be a ladle incident again.

When Kaguya noticed her, she gave her a cheerful smile. She reciprocated with a greeting nod. Like she predicted, she would have put her grievances behind by the morning. Her Princess was never the type to hold grudges after all.

With a light heart and a contented sigh, she turned to head towards the doctor’s office with the intention of beginning work for the day. That is, she wanted to, but something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention.

Among the myriad of miniature trees, a flash of blue peeked through. A color that was unusual in the garden, save for the morning glories strewn across a further corner of the outer wall.

Its sight weighed on her belly. 

She slowly approached it, hoping not to see what she thought she would see. 

Stepping closer to the strange object, the verdant foliage gave way to bright white branches. They were thick and healthy, streaked with black scars that indicated rapid growth. 

It made her pause.

Cautiously, she pushed green leaves out of the way, but her hand flinched back as if she touched a hot stove.

What was uncovered were its round azure and indigo flowers that almost seemed to glow hidden behind all the trees of the Earth. They were as big as if they belonged to a regular sized tree. 

It was an udonge bonsai, and it was in full bloom.

Eirin stared it down like it committed a grave sin. The sin of being alive. Against all her precautions and backup plans, it still was. It found a loophole she wasn’t aware of, and seized the opportunity to defy her.

She stood before it unmoving, her words stuck in her throat. 

“Good morning, Eirin!” 

The Princess’ sweet voice didn’t calm her this time. It turned her feeling of being cheated into a lonely kind of sadness. She had no way to explain this away, and worst of all, she knew exactly what was the cause of it.

An “oh” left Kaguya’s mouth when she stepped beside her. She too took a careful look at the accursed plant.

Eirin looked at her with a pained expression, but her face only showed mild shock. That didn’t stop her from falling on her knees and bowing until her forehead touched the ground.

“This is caused by my negligence, Your Majesty,” she forced the words through her throat, “I deserve punishment for this.”

Surprise left a breath of a moment between her confession and the answer to come.

“Stand up, Eirin, it’s alright!” Her tone was punctuated by a light chuckle.

Her lightheartedness came across as jarring to Eirin, even if she knew well that she never gave this matter the seriousness it deserved. A command, however, is a command. She stood up reluctantly.

Kaguya put a supportive hand on her shoulder after she dusted herself off. “It’s intimidating, I know that. I don’t blame you for cracking up about it.”

Cracking up? That’s a strong word to use for her in such a situation. Surely she didn’t look like she was about to lose her mind, did she?

Is… that why she’s trying to comfort her? Does she think she sank that low? That she needs to be cared for like a fragile mortal? Even if she was one now, she wasn’t like them. She has a legacy. A past. A role. Even if she’s ridden with impurities, she’s…

“…Yagokoro-Omoikane!” Hearing her title, Eirin’s mind was focused on her once more. “If anyone, you can fix this, right?” 

Her lighthearted demeanor didn’t change one bit, but that didn’t make her feel better.

No. She couldn’t fix this. All her plans failed almost as soon as they were put into practice. 

For the first time in her life, she was left at her wits end.

Her knowledge is her main and final path to any and all solutions. Without it, without knowing what to do…

Maybe that was the actual reason her Princess wanted to comfort her. She somehow knew.

She… somehow… knew…

“...and even if you can’t,” she continued after a bit of silence, “it’s not the end of the world if there’s some kegare here and there.” 

Her palm now moved slowly up and down comfortingly on her shoulder, “it’s hard in the beginning, but I can help you get used to your new body. Reisen can too.”

Your new body.  

The reason kegare levels rose through the roof. 

Kaguya revealed her true intentions.

She wasn’t looking to improve things, but use Eirin’s delicate condition as an excuse to engage more with the earthlings. Her obsession with them has gone too far this time. She knew that she could no longer resort to gentle, yet firm persuasion.

She took a step back, slipping from under the Princess’ gentle, protecting hand. 

“You have got to stop this. Now.”

The rigidity of her voice changed her friendly demeanor into something she never saw in her eyes before. 

Something she would have never hoped to stand up against.

It was spite.

She opened her mouth to speak.

“Only if you do.”

It just then hit her just what was at play here. Not only did she know that the mansion lost its purity, and that it was caused by her. She knew that she couldn’t cleanse it anymore. That just the thought of giving up her body felt like she swallowed poison.

Kaguya set her face against everything her and her people stood for only to have her ludicrous, childish wants met as if she was just another one of those mudcrawlers she was forced to share living space with. 

The dreadful silence between them was broken by her words shaking with anger.

“You… expected this to happen!” She gritted her teeth, but held herself on a short leash. She had to keep her composure as much as she could.

“This is the only reason why you wanted me to take those pills, wasn't it?!”

Fury took control of her words. She didn't actually think this was the case until a short second of tentative silence passed.

“Yes!”

Involuntarily, Eirin let out a grunt of disbelief.

The Princess saw her slip up, and took the opportunity to lunge at her throat.

“Did you really, honestly think that it was solely to allow you to continue this pointless, asinine masquerade?”

It felt as if she was stabbed through the heart. 

The battle was won. 

Eirin was disarmed.

Where once burned a great fire, was now a dead pit of ashes in the rain.

“No…” She yielded.

I thought I could trust you.

A sudden loud crash echoed through the corridors of the mansion. 

Neither her, nor Kaguya cared about that tree anymore, nor what it meant to either of them. Both immediately hurried towards where the impact must have happened.

A little further, not too far off from the main entrance, they saw harsh sunlight filling the dark hallways where the roof was broken. Beneath it laid a pile of its remains, and under it, a red piece of cloth.

“Wait!” Immediately, the Princess ran to investigate, completely ignoring her.

Just then, something started moving under the bits of wood and terracotta. “Oh, good Heavens…”

As soon as she heard her voice, Eirin felt her legs root right into the wooden floor and through the earth beneath it.

“Sorry about this,” the stranger groaned as she heaved herself out of the heap, “I’m really bad at controlling this thing.”

Kaguya tilted her head, “Emika?”

She looked up at her.

“Kaguya! So this is where you’ve been!” She dusted off her red skirt and straightened the lunar veil around her neck after she stood up.

“Yes!” She laughed, “welcome to the House of Eternity!”

“Aww, thank you!” She returned the gesture.

While they were preoccupied with their idle chat, the knot in Eirin’s belly loosened into a tangle of annoyance. They were going to ignore this mess, weren't they?

"And you over there?” Startlingly, Emika was looking directly at her now, “come on out, I don’t bite!”

It seemed that her hopes of being concealed by the shadows of the hallways were lost. She really had no choice now. Carefully and thoroughly, she recited Kaguya’s lessons. Although the thought of them was now poisoned.

Cutting through the bittered memories, she stepped forward with all the confidence she could muster. Her head bowed in respect, her stride as light as the wind, she joined them in the beam of sunlight.

She held her breath in anticipation, knowing that this time it will not be the inhabitants of Earth to make judgements upon her. It will be the very embodiment of womanhood herself.

“Oh well, that’s-”

“I apologize, Lady Uzume.” She bowed respectfully, “it's not every day I see a kamisama fall out of the sky.” She masked the confiscation of rhetorics with a friendly laugh. She couldn’t let Kaguya seize control over who she was. Not this time.

“My name is Eirin,” she spoke her name with pride, making sure that despite that, her demeanor was humble. “I’m a pharmacist, and the only human in this household.”

“Oh! A human!” Unfortunately, and to the Princess’s mirth, she decided to approach her. “It's been such a long while since I saw one of you!” 

Lady Uzume tried to meet her gaze despite the fact that she just made clear her place in this four person hierarchy.

Eirin looked away. “A-ah, it’s not appropriate of me to look you in the eyes, Your Eminence...” She tried to sound bashful instead of tense.

“Don’t be silly!” She waved a hand dismissively, “I don’t care much about etiquette, unlike those squareheads at home. I want to see your face properly if I’m going to see you often!”

Squareheads? She furrowed her brows for just a second before catching herself. Seeing me often? Was she going to perform this little stunt every week?

Regardless, she looked her in the eyes with a friendly smile despite every fiber of her being protesting against it. Against both the eye contact and the smile, that is. She did her best to still keep the upper part of her neck concealed, which luckily wasn’t hard to do as she was shorter than her.

“This is what I’m talking about!” She laughed loudly, “you’re so gorgeous! I would kill to have cheeks like that!”

“Ahaha… I’m most honored…” These must have been the first words she spoke to her honestly. If she found her beautiful, that could only mean that she was doing something right. Her belly felt warm and she wanted to laugh.

“Honored…”She rolled her eyes, “nah, come on!” She reached to cup her cheeks, a friendly gesture she knew dreadfully well. 

Thankfully, she was stopped in her tracks by the fact that it hasn’t even been ten minutes since she fell through the roof. “Oof… ow!”

“Oh!” Kaguya exclaimed, “are you okay?”

“Ah, it’s been a while, huh?" 

She stretched her sore arm, but it only resulted in her holding back a howl of pain. "Might as well get used to it," she groaned to the horror of both.

"What on earth…?"

They all looked at the moon rabbit who just arrived. She observed the rubble with a twitching nose.

"Lady Uzume's arm is hurt," Eirin told her. "Examine it, will you?"

"R-right away, Master." Still a little shaken by the odd scene, she went to do just that.

"Aww, you brought a rabbit too!" Emika said while her arm was being carefully looked at. "Strange that it obeys a human, though."

"A human…?" Reisen's crumpled ears twitched forward curiously.

"Eyes on the patient, Udonge."

"Yes, of course!"

She didn't need much time for her to evaluate it. “Probably not broken, but definitely needs medical attention.”

Eirin nodded, “take her to the office. I’ll be there in a minute.”

"You're so sweet, thank you," she said as she gave her support. "Truly, there's nothing like a warm welcome on Earth."

Despite everything that happened, she seemed to be in high spirits. Well, this is Emika Uzume after all, The Patron of Joy and Celebration. It would be unusual of her to be upset, even in the most dire situations.

They made their way through the corridor past her and the Princess, who went after them a little later.

"Kaguya."

The quiet, yet stern and cold way her name was called visibly made her flinch. However, when she turned around, her face reflected the same frigidity. The three steps Eirin took to meet her up close felt like centuries.

She gazed into her eyes with a dry, calculated sort of anger. Like the well-aimed arrow of a war archer.

"Whatever happens, to her, I am Eirin. A human and a woman. Do you understand?"

She opened her mouth to object when Eirin raised a hand to her own throat.

"I said: Do you understand?" She didn't quite need to repeat slower and more clearly for Kaguya's expression to soften just the slightest bit.

"Yes…"

Her gaze stayed on the Princess for a couple of heartbeats before she let out a forceful sigh and turned away from her. She followed her assistant and their unexpected guest to the doctor's office.

She might have been out of hearing range before she decided to go as well, as she didn’t hear her footsteps.

When she entered her office, she sat down in her chair. Her hands clasped together in her lap, she didn’t care if anyone was in there with her. Their conversation faded into the background anyway.

Her mind was buzzing with the fresh memory of recent events. She tried organizing them, but it all just felt like grasping at water.

Eventually, what was opaque became translucent, then barely visible, until she found herself just staring at the floor.

"Master?"

"Yes, what is it?" She asked almost before Reisen finished. 

"Lady Uzume has a couple of bruises and back pain, but seemingly none of them are serious," she explained. “She’s in ward 8.”

She turned her head back towards the floor. "I'll tend to her right away."

There was a long couple of seconds before the rabbit spoke again, “oh right.”

She took out a letter from one of her pockets and handed it to Eirin, “this is what I was given. By the village doctor I mean. He said it was urgent, that's why I'm home so early.”

For a second she observed the letter, then she quickly set it aside on top of the rest of the papers. “We have more important matters to deal with now. Change and bring a handful of feverfew.”

“Feverfew?” Reisen lifted an eyebrow, “Lady Uzume has no migraines or inflammation, I don’t think it’s nece-”

“I said , bring feverfew.” She raised her voice. 

To her relief, her assistant obeyed this time.

She was right, there was no need for feverfew. What she actually needed was a few minutes of quiet.

Chapter Text

“Please don’t be alarmed, this is going to sting a little,” Eirin said as she applied a disinfectant on one of the bruises on her arm.

It was only her, Kaguya and Lady Uzume in that ward. Reisen was out, collecting herbs. Thankfully, everything was quiet; it was only morning, but that day was already a handful. If fairies were running amok outside, it might just have been unbearable.

Emika frowned, visibly having a hard time sitting still. She let out a sigh of relief when her caregiver started applying bandages. “...I completely forgot how hard it is to get used to this.”

She agreed, though only silently. Getting injured, sick or dying, all of which were an inevitability now, were something she really didn’t look forward to. As much as she hid it, even her own heartbeats unsettled her whenever her attention happened to be diverted by them.

What’s worse, is that not even the purifying sanitizer she applied before the treatment helped much now that the mansion was as tainted as the rest of this wretched satellite. Not that her patient seemed especially bothered by that fact.

She decided to have more rabbits involved in the purification process. Not only that, but she herself would need to work overtime as well to restore balance. At all costs.

“Yes, even the smallest things are really bad at first, but you’ll get used to them in time, don’t worry,” the Princess reassured.

What she said was true, it’s not impossible to get used to such a tainted life, but why would she? Although she threw her Heavenly privileges away, she wasn’t going to let life take a hold of her. A delicate balance for sure, but one that could grant her both purity and grace.

“I know, I know, it’s just easier said than done,” she laughed. 

After a bit of silence, she spoke again. “I wonder ▖▔▛▝▁▟ handled it, honestly. He was always ready to give a whole dissertation about these sorts of things at any chance he got.”

“Well, he didn’t like it very much, let’s just say that,” Kaguya chuckled.

Eirin stopped short of admonishing her. It hasn’t even been an hour and her lips are already loose. She wouldn't have minded her old name being spoken, but considering that it could very easily lead to discussion of her whereabouts, it was, to say the least, undesirable. As tense as she was, she decided to wait patiently for an opportunity to change topics.

“I figured that much,” she laughed. “I’m imagining him like a cat that fell into a bathtub, wet and angry and all.”

While they were having a good laugh, Eirin signaled her disapproval with deep, indifferent silence, knowing her Princess would pick up on it. She was the one that pushed her into this, she should be the last person to laugh. 

“...well, I don’t blame him though. Hunger and the need to sleep are very uncomfortable, especially for the first time.” Her intentions have reached their goal it seemed.

“It’s true, but the thought of someone so preachy about kegare willingly going into exile to a place like this is at least worthy of a chuckle.” She said, “not that I or anyone will ever understand what’s going on in the mind of that guy.”

Thankfully . Her thoughts being concealed from the unworthy proved to be an advantage many many times. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"He's…" Kaguya was looking for the right word, "well, I wouldn't call him eccentric, he's just… He has his own, unique way of seeing things and he couldn't give it up to save his life."

Eirin wasn't sure if that was meant to be an insult or not. She is knowledge; the way she sees everything is objective. It might be perceived as strange, but so is existence itself. Giving it up would be foolish and dangerous. She wondered if she simply didn’t understand that or if she thought her views were simply wrong. 

"Where is he anyway? I take it he lives here too, yeah?"

No , Eirin mouthed.

“Uh, yep!” the Princess said smugly. 

She for sure did that only to defy her in that moment and nothing more, but needless to say, it put Eirin even more on edge. After all, she could be plotting to reveal everything for the sake of a momentary feeling of sweet revenge for a transgression she did not commit. But Heavens know, if it comes to that, its honeyed taste will not last

"...well, he was." She added."

Finally she seemed to conjure her words well enough. She too had blood on her hands, she would just get herself in trouble after all. She’s not a fool, just… 

“He died.”

The doctor paused.

“ Died? ” Emika's voice reflected utter disbelief.

“Eh, you know, it happens,” she shrugged.

Was she being spiteful or simply unskilled with her words? Either way, the indifference in her tone irked her. It bothered her a lot.

"Woooooow! That was harsh , girl, what the heck.”

“Well, at least he didn’t die in vain” Eirin added in a flat tone. “He was protecting the legacy of those who came before him from unruly scoundrels who think they’re entitled to everything, even at the cost of others’ wellbeing.”

Lady Uzume turned her head to see her intent gaze spiked against Kaguya’s before the doctor resumed her work, “Teru, weren’t you friends with him?”

The question seemed to strike a chord in her. It made her look away out of a strange, nostalgic kind of sadness. She didn't see her Princess' expression, but silence hung in the ward for a long couple of seconds.

It actually made her regret what she said. She’s not a troublemaker… she must have her reasons for acting this way… She’s just…

"I brought the feverfew!" Her assistant's voice broke the silence, "I'll be cleaning up the broken roof, so I'll be in the hallway if you need me."

"Alright. Thank you, Udonge." 

"What a diligent rabbit!" Emika exclaimed, "our ones at home would take the opportunity to loaf around, haha!"

"Yes, Reisen is a little different," Kaguya chuckled, "Eirin makes sure she has a sense of duty. Sometimes a little too much…"

She shook her head. Obviously, one reason is that the implication that she’s too hard on her is unfounded. She may scold her student sometimes, but she never raised a hand on her. That method is inefficient at best, and actively hinders progress at worst. Not that that rabbit ever did anything to warrant that. The second reason was…

"Reisen huh?" Lady Uzume lifted an eyebrow, "that name sounds awfully familiar. Didn't Ladies Watatsuki have a pet rabbit named Reisen?"

…that.

"Oh… haha. What a coincidence!"

Emika looked at her for a long second with a knowing smile, "you're still really bad at lying."

Kaguya hid herself blushing behind the sleeve of her shirt.

"Well, not that it matters. She's not the only criminal in this house anymore." She tried to stretch. Eirin carefully held her arm in a way that prevented it from hurting. "Thank you, sweetie!"

With her job done, she took a new place in front of her, keeping a considerable distance from her Princess.

"...is that why you came here?" Kaguya asked.

"Yep. That's why," she nodded.

"What did you do?"

"Well, that depends." She glanced at the doctor, "is our human trustworthy?"

She nodded respectfully, "I can assure you, that whatever you might tell us will stay within these walls."

"Of course you would say that…" she laughed weakly. "Teru?"

She looked at her from the corner of her eye, as if she could will her to not make the wrong decision this time.

"You could say a lot of things about Eirin, but any and all secrets are safe with her." She said somewhat reluctantly.

There was a sense of genuinity in her voice. 

"Alright," she smiled, relieved. "Me being a criminal is not the whole truth, actually. I came here on purpose."

Younger amatsukami fail to appreciate how great they have it, don't they? She almost let out a disappointed sigh before stopping herself. Momentarily, she glanced at Kaguya, and her train of thought came to a stop. …not her. She’s just…

“Oh? What do you mean?”

“Well, you know…” She began, before turning to Eirin, “she did tell you that she’s from the Moon, right?”

“I know the broad strokes,” she dipped her head.

“Okay. Good. So.” She clapped, “basically a while ago they forbade anyone and everyone from leaving the Capital. Emissaries are basically jobless now.”

The doctor foresaw something akin to this happening, although she didn’t expect the crackdown to be this extreme. She wondered what might her former students, the Watatsuki sisters, be up to now that there are no emissaries to train.

“Huh,” the Princess blinked. “Since when?”

“Ever since that vulgar spirit led an army of fairies there I think?” She narrowed her eyes, thinking. “Lord Tsukuyomi thinks that keeping the borders open is dangerous if I recall correctly so they just locked down all of them. Nobody in, nobody out. Well, not without written permission anyways.”

This is… a bold choice. Eirin thought, this will send the message that the Heavens are closed off to everyone else, which is anything but desirable.

“But…” She continued, “I did want out. So did a hefty amount of other people, so we needed a plan. We needed to do something that would have us exiled,” she said with the same level of indifferentness as discussing her morning routine.

“Isn’t that a little… extreme?” Kaguya chimed in. “You really wanted to come to Earth, huh?”

“Yeaaah…” she awkwardly looked away without moving her head, “anyways, what we ended up doing was basically spreading Earth propaganda. We did rallies, posters, all that jazz.”

Eirin's thoughts were a mix of disbelief, confusion and anger, but all that showed on her face was a lifted eyebrow.

“Unfortunately though, it worked a little tooooo well,” she twiddled her index fingers together, embarrassed. “You see, we didn’t think that people would get that freaked out… I mean it was pretty obviously fake, we thought they would like… get it?”

At this point, she was fighting every fiber of her body to not show any semblance of frustration. How could someone be so reckless? Wanting to leave is one thing, but causing mass panic is something else entirely.

“Aaand to add insult to injury, apparently this counts as treason? Which meant that we wouldn’t get exiled, but executed… Whoops?” She shrugged awkwardly to the horror of both the other two. 

“And so it was time for plan B: booking it with the lunar veils. Which, now that I think about it, we should have done in the first place…?”

Utter… imbeciles… She hasn't been in charge for only less than two millennia and everything is already falling apart. Not even the citizens are in their right minds anymore. 

This is all her responsibility. If only she could have been there to oversee everything this wouldn't have happened… But at the same time… she couldn’t have just abandoned her Princess. Not when she was…

“Soooo, I’m kind of sort of wanted by the Capital, and for that reason I wanted to ask if I can stay for a week or two, just until I find somewhere else to live?” She asked, imitating puppy dog eyes, “this place is nice and hidden and stuff…, you know."

“Of course you c-” Kaguya’s enthusiastic answer was cut in half by Eirin.

“We shall discuss that in private.” With that, she stood up, and commanded her to follow her into the corridor with a sharp glare.

“Uh… yeah, okay.” Emika’s voice was now muffled by the ward’s curtains. “Take your tiiiime!”

When the shoji slid closed, Eirin immediately spoke. “We mustn’t let her stay.”

Her companion sighed lightly and collected her thoughts. She answered calmly, “I know that you don’t like her, but you don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to.”

“She’s a wanted criminal , Your Majesty.” She said firmly, “she’s going to drag us into her dangerous ordeals if we let her.”

“You too are a wanted criminal, Eirin, and so am I,” she countered, “but we too were desperate when we went into hiding.”

“We weren’t desperate. Everything was going according to our plan, and everything is going according to hers as well. What she wanted was to get to Earth, and she achieved it. If she wanted shelter, she should have planned ahead. This is simply the consequence of her carelessness.”

"That doesn't mean that we should just abandon her! Don’t you think we would have had an easier time if we were offered a helping hand?"

"Everything went smoothly and at the fastest possible rate. We were fine!"

" You were fine!"

“Enough of this!” Eirin put her foot down, "you cannot let your emotions dictate what's right, lest you end up like a simple mortal!"

Kaguya furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and disbelief.

"Or is that what you want?

The accusatory tone finally moved her tongue.

“How can you be so cruel?” Kaguya sounded exasperated. “You just don't understand. Nor do you want to.”

“I completely understand. You’re about to risk everything in order to make time for courtship, and I will not let that happen.”

There could have been no other explanation to her insistence on letting Lady Uzume stay. This is what happens when someone isn’t keeping her kegare levels in check. Surely, she would come to her senses now that she drew her attention to this fact.

Her Princess looked back at her, her clenched jaws loosened in utter bewilderment. Her tense shoulders dropped and her voice was calm, but biting, “look, who’s talking.”

She blinked back at her in confusion. What… is she talking about?

Kaguya stepped closer and spoke determinedly.

“She will stay at a safe place with her friend, warm food and a roof above her head. This is my final verdict.”

Piercing eyes stared at her. That unflinching gaze told her that she will not back out at any cost. Those beautiful ebony eyes, in which there was once safety, now lied raw will and the means to fulfill it. 

She…changed. 

In a way that deeply unsettled her.

“I-is the cleaning done already?” Eirin addressed her assistant as soon as she saw her from the corner of her eye.

“Uh… um,” she seemed to have been caught off-guard by that, “not yet, I just need the mop… What are you doing out here?”

“We’re discussing whether we should let Emika stay for a while,” Kaguya said.

“Oh I see.” Reisen nodded, “I think she could, she’s nice.”

“ Udonge! ” 

“Eek!”

That might have ended up bursting out of her louder than intended.

The Princess turned to her with a fake cheerfulness, “two against one. It’s decided, then!”

“No, it isn’ t. She-”

“I will tell Emika the good news right away.” On her way back into the doctor’s office, she bumped into Eirin, seemingly on purpose.

Just… what’s gotten into her?

Kaguya wasn’t going mad, she knew that for sure. She was just… she was just… 

She couldn't find an answer. She couldn’t, no matter how hard she looked. Her Princess was angry with her. So mad that she would cross her over and over again. All for what? For protecting her? For keeping her life peaceful? 

She couldn't make heads or tails out of this, and she hated it. 

She loathed not knowing what went wrong. Loathed the way she was treated, loathed what their relationship has become and that this is what she gets after devoting half a millennium of her life to her. And most of all, she hated not being able to do anything about it.

Her eyes eventually fell on Reisen, whose nose was quivering anxiously. She looked down at her, but immediately averted her gaze as soon as Eirin’s leaden eyes got hold of it.

She herself shook her head. What good would it do to punish her for this? Her only sin is that she lacked information.

With a sigh, she turned heel. “I’ll be outside in case I’m needed.” 

…

Snap!

An arrow stabbed through the makeshift target.

Outside the walls of the mansion, Eirin did the best she could with her pent up frustration. Concentrate it, and let it go.

She pulled another from her nonexistent quiver. It almost felt like it burnt.

The bowstring was stretched to its limits as it groaned under the tension of Eirin's unyielding hands. 

Then, with a whistle, it flew. 

It shot through the target as if it wasn’t even there, disappearing into the brush behind it.

Still, it wasn’t enough.

Heart burning like white hot steel, she reached for another one. 

She found it as brittle as fine chalk. 

Taking startled eyes off the target, she saw the arrow leave its shards on her hand.

With a deep shaking breath, she tried to summon another, but it cracked in two from her touch, its crumbled pieces falling limp on the green foliage.

The more she tried, the more she wanted to spit fire. As if the arrows themselves were horrified by the rampage to come, they all turned to ash even before the inferno arrived.

It wasn’t long before her grip strangled the bow as well, leaving her a pauper of means among the snow white heaps of magical dust.

Even so, her burning fury didn’t go anywhere.

Thud!

With a growl, she kicked a piece of stone that was unfortunate enough to have been nearby at that time.

She sighed into her palms, then slid them down her face barely not clawing into it. Her magic weakened and all she could do about it was bark and bite like an unruly mutt. If she loses her mind… no. She needed to find a way to compose herself.

“...Master?”

Reisen froze for a second as soon as she turned to face her.

After a silent breath, Eirin forcibly relaxed her tense body and spoke in a considerably calm voice. “Do you need something?”

The rabbit was holding the letter she presented her earlier, “...yes, well, the village doctor told me that this letter was very important, and you should read it as soon as possible, Master.”

She took the letter, and after a second of contemplation, she opened it. 

With every word, her eyebrows furrowed more and more.

“What is it?” She asked.

The letter was indeed very important. Dr. Kimura warned of a potential threat of a pandemic, describing an illness that was, by all means, very familiar to her judging by the symptoms. 

Though, she wanted to make sure it really was what she thought she was, which is why she didn’t jump to conclusions just yet. This is the first time he ever asked for her help, which could mean that the threat is unprecedented.

Either way, Eirin wasn’t impressed. They do say that bad things come in threes, but this was starting to get ridiculous. Regardless of her feelings, this took priority. The thorough purification of the mansion and dealing with Princess Kaguya needed to wait.

“And, um… why are you holding the letter like that, Master?” 

When she snapped her out of her train of thought, she saw that she indeed held the scroll rather… unconventionally. She kept it far away from herself, like it was infected. When she held it closer however,  the letters were blurry to an almost unreadable extent. Only when they were that far away could she actually read them.

A sigh left her nose as she organized her thoughts. She should have known that this body is going to cause her further troubles. Why did she ever decide to keep it? 

The question dissipated into nothing as soon as it appeared in her mind.

“First of all,” She turned to her assistant, “you’re going to perform an eye exam on me.”

“An… eye exam?” 

“Yes. We’re going to need the results, so make sure you bring them with you to the village to give to the local glassworker.”

“So that he can make eyeglasses… for you , Master…?” One of her ears twitched by the base in confusion.

“What part of the instructions do you not understand, Udonge?" 

"I understand all of it," she replied, annoyed, "it's just-"

"In that case, act accordingly." She chose to ignore her tone for now. "In the meanwhile, I will prepare the ingredients and the medicine we might need, as Dr. Kimura asked. In the meanwhile you let the Princess know that we will be away for a while.”

“Away for a while? Does that mean that there’s a big problem to deal with? Will Princess Kaguya be okay by herself?”

“You may have noticed that she likes to… take matters into her own hands these days, let's say. Now she may further those aspirations of hers, don’t you think?” She looked at her assistant expectantly, waiting for agreement.

In reality she wasn’t keen on leaving her to her own devices for such a long time either, but at the same time it could teach her a lesson. 

“Well, that much is true. Maybe she’ll be in a better mood now that she’ll be able to do that. She seems to be pretty beside herself today.”

“Certainly.” Eirin agreed, but of course, she expected the opposite results. She was sure that by the time they arrived back, she will have grown to appreciate exponentially more all she did for her throughout the centuries.

…

In the afternoon of the same day, she was waiting for her assistant under the rustling leaves of a maple tree somewhere in the Human Village.

Although she now needed the benefits that come with the sun's rays, she wasn't about to rush things. Her skin was white as freshly fallen snow; she knew that staying too much under the summer sun so suddenly would be foolish. The dappled shade of the tree should suffice as a start.

Listening to the whirring song of cicadas, she noticed something lightly brushing against her foot. She looked down to see a ball stop beside her. The next thing she saw was a human child, not older than a decade, looking at her from a distance. 

Behind him, more children of various ages, and some more distance away, presumably their mothers, chatting.

“Um, excuse me, miss, “he said,” can you throw us our ball back, please?”

She leant down to pick up the toy. It was an ordinary temari ball with symmetrical patterns resembling plum blossoms.They must have been red once, but they were tainted with dust from continous use. 

As she looked at it, she felt a disdainful pity for earthlings for wasting such artistic talent for a simple children’s toy that gets dirty and damaged. Its place was at a safe display as a piece of art.

The ball flew from her hand over the boy’s head and landed a great deal behind him.

“Thank you!”

All the children ran after it to catch it, all laughing and cheering. It put a smile on her face as she saw them trying to get the toy from each other. 

It felt like playing fetch.

“Throw me!”

She heard Reisen call to them, her voice changed to sound huskier to avoid being recognized. By the time she saw her, the ball was already on its way to her in the air. She used her head to bounce it high, making it fall on the ground in tall arcs, to the even more bursting joy of the children.

With a smile on her face, she stepped beside Eirin. “He said the eyeglasses are going to be done in 2-3 weeks.”

“We might be able to pick them up by the time the crisis is averted.” Eirin noted. “But for now, it’s time for us to proceed.”

They made their way through the village, towards the doctor’s office that was in the heart of it. 

They were both wearing a disguise of course. Reisen in a different one than the usual outfit she sells medicine in, this one hiding her face with a mask instead of a hat. Though the rest of her body was still concealed in dull fabric like usual, her ears were this time hidden under an elaborate hairdo which Eirin carefully prepared.

She herself donned a Japanese nurse’s outfit instead of her usual protective gear to eliminate any and all possible confusion. Before they departed, she practiced the conduct of a woman carefully. Although her Princess’ lack of guidance did set her back a little, she knew she was up to the task.

When they arrived at the office, a nurse welcomed them. “We’re terribly sorry,” she bowed, “Dr. Kimura is not in at this time.”

Reisen spoke, “he sent us a letter warning of an outbreak. We came to help.”

The nurse’s eyes lit up. With a nod, she signed for them to follow. 

She led them through the outskirts of the village and into a part of the forest of magic that still contained some semblance of regular, non-poisonous trees and other flora. Among them, a large tent was set up.

As soon as she saw it, Eirin put on a mask as well. Her assistant pulled hers further up her face.

The nurse stopped a great distance away from it, wished them good luck, and left.

Master and student looked at one another, knowing their task would be difficult, but with mutual confidence, they pressed on.

They arrived before the entrance. “Good afternoon! It’s Dr. Yagokoro, we got your message.”

There was a breath of silence before an older man’s raspy voice rang from the inside. “You may come in.”

As expected, the inside of the tent housed many patients; at least 30. None of them were coughing or sneezing, they all just lied on their futons, resting. The silence was not unexpected, but uneasiness hung in the air regardless.

Dr. Kimura came to greet Eirin and Reisen with a respectful dip of his head.

“Thank goodness you came so swiftly! It’s a pleasure to be able to work with you.” He was talking to the rabbit. “As you can see the state of things is not bright. We count on your boundless knowledge and quick-wittedness.”

“Um, of course, just-”

“It’s a pleasure to be of your service, Dr. Kimura.” She interrupted, “thank you for counting on us. Nor me, nor my Master will disappoint.”

He looked at her for a long moment, “I sure hope so.” His voice carried obvious disdain, possibly because of the interruption. He left it at that, however.

“Please, come this way.” He turned to the Reisen again. 

They slowly followed him to a more remote part of the tent. Both lagging behind, she turned to her Master, “I think he has it backwards.”

“He does. As expected.” She whispered, “you will play the part of the Master now.”

“M-me?!” She said, maybe a little too loudly, but caught herself at the last minute, “h-how could I- I- cannot! I’m not up to the task!”

“You have to, and you are . Otherwise you wouldn’t be my student.”

The smile reflected in her eyes gave her some ease, and her glance smiled back at her as well.

They caught up to him finally. 

Although she provided convincing enough assurance to her student, Eirin’s thoughts were elsewhere, despite her best efforts to have control over them.

Chapter Text

Eirin waited outside, at a sort of common area behind the tent. It was a temporary, hastily put together campsite of sorts, where boxes and sacks served as seating. 

At the edge of it, the twisted flora of the Forest of Magic showed itself to those who dared to take a breather there. The darkness of the wooded area was so thick, one could almost bite it.

Reisen showed up a little while later, after discussing a couple of matters with Dr. Kimura. She told her Master that a meeting would be called soon.

The heavy silence of the nearby magical forest weighed on them still as slowly, nurses appeared from the tent and took their places around them. They mutually greeted each one with a dip of their heads.

As the area filled with various ladies, one daintier than the other, Eirin couldn't help but feel uneasy. They were all at least a head shorter than her, they walked as if they were gentle rolls of creeks on riverbed stone. Unlike her, the rushing waters of River Yangtze that uproots trees and carves valleys.

One of them, an older nurse, sat beside her. Of course, she bowed to her, like everyone else, but when her curious chestnut eyes met her ones, she inadvertently looked away.

Part of it was cautiousness for sure. She couldn’t tell if she knew, after all…

But at the same time, when she glanced back at her, she found herself admiring the ethereal softness and simple elegance about her -in spite of her uniform- in a different way than just something to aspire to.

Though, that didn’t change the fact that by the time everyone arrived, with Dr. Kimura entering last, she overwhelmingly felt like a cuckoo hatchling in a bullfinch's nest. 

"Now that we're all here, we may begin discussion,” he began right after taking his place. “Although our situation is dire, thankfully, Dr. Yagokoro has arrived to help us out. This meeting was called in order for us to exchange information.”

As soon as he uttered her name, most nurses turned shy, yet admiring gazes towards her and Reisen. Others whispered to one-another excitedly or in relief. 

Although their glances gravitated towards her assistant, Eirin was grateful that her mask hid her flushed cheeks. 

The doctor turned to the rabbit, and bowed respectfully. “You mentioned that you have something to tell us regarding this outbreak. Would you please share it with us?” 

She cleared her throat before speaking. 

“First of all, uh, hello, nice to meet you all," she began, trying to leave a good first impression. 

Her stiltedness obviously threw everyone off. She must have felt the doctor's mildly confused glance burning her hide off, and for that reason, she carried on with the actual point.

"I would like to announce that not only have I identified this sickness, I also have a treatment for it.”

It felt like the eyes nailed to her were all wide in curiosity. 

Dr. Kimura’s expression remained stoic, however.

“It’s a fairly common illness in my homeland. We call it Lead Body." Her confidence left much to be desired and so she stole glances at the doctor for a morsel or two of assurance.

He nodded.

“I-its symptoms include high fever, headaches, fatigue, weakness, and a feeling of heaviness in the whole body, like Dr. Kimura told me. Besides those, it can also slow the patients’ heart rate to a lethal degree if left untreated.”

They recited this a couple of times at home, but Eirin was disappointed to hear that Reisen failed to deliver every piece of information in a couple of sentences as she should have. 

Quick and effective conveyance of information should have been a must, not only for ease of communication, but also for making humans think she was confident in her knowledge. 

“That must be the cause of their unexplainable deaths,” Dr. Kimura interjected.

“Exactly,” she nodded, “although potentially deadly, it’s only as dangerous as a common cold back home, thanks to the medicine.”

She’s pushing way too hard.

The doctor lowered his gaze thoughtfully for a second, “where have you come from?”

“Ah. Oh, uh…”

“Qing.” Eirin whispered calmly.

“Qing!"

The table grew silent as she continued. “This sickness is also transmitted via droplets, which is why the use of masks was a wise idea on Dr. Kimura’s part.”

As she finished, she noticed everyone staring at her as if she committed treason.

“I’m assuming in Qing, students are allowed to speak over their masters.” the doctor said, sternly.

“...excuse me?”

“Did you raise your hand to signal that you wanted to speak before you talked?”

“No.” She replied after a bit of a pause.

Reisen tried to come to her defense, “w-well, I think it’s fine to let her speak. She has to practice speaking in front of so many people anyways, and…”

Emphasis on tried. She has always been bad at improvisation and now Eirin surely knew she was bad at playing a role more complicated than a non-rabbit medicine seller with the same personality as her.

The doctor’s stern expression didn’t change.

The rabbit was about to finally muster a better argument when Eirin spoke, “I sincerely apologize. I will do better from now on.”

An apology was the best way out of this embarrassing situation. She had no choice, but to obey human social rules if she wanted to successfully blend in. Even if it involved her laying a lot lower than she's used to.

It was acknowledged with a single nod as silence continued to sit on the room.

“Oh and also rabbits can’t catch Lead Body. But they can be carriers,“ Reisen added, like a student doing her best not to fail at an oral exam.

If she was, Eirin would have failed her for sure.

One of the nurses put her hand up with a shy glance towards her.

The doctor, in turn, looked at the rabbit expectantly. 

It took her a second to realize what was expected of her, “ah! Oh! Right. Yes?"

"What exactly causes this illness, Dr. Yagokoro?" She spoke quietly. "I think if we know that, we'll be able to prevent more people getting sick, or even another outbreak in the future."

"Well, all that's important to us is that it's caused by the presence of kegare. Although we don't know the specifics, the medicine developed combats this condition effectively."

We know the specifics, you simply forgot , Eirin thought.

Though she did let out a silent chuckle. She found it amusing that she would imitate her mannerisms and way of speech. 

…thinking about it, my vocabulary is not exactly feminine…

Everyone nodded in understanding.

"In any case," Dr. Kimura spoke, "I’ve found that the most effective cure is rest. It's not a perfect solution, but people who sleep enough and minimize activity, overwhelmingly heal in 3-4 weeks.”

“Exactly,” Reisen agreed, “Lead Body drains the body of energy, which causes death if the patient keeps expending it. Resting can definitely help, however, it’s not a cure-all in and of itself. For many people, even thinking can worsen their condition.”

The nurses looked at one another. 

“Obviously, sicknesses of the mind can worsen any bodily condition.”

“Most definitely,” she nodded. “However, according to my research, even if someone rests as much as physically possible, their anxieties and fears can worsen their condition to the point of death.”

At this point, even the doctor raised his eyebrows.

“Which is why this medicine was created. It gives even them a chance.”

The nurses were in silent astonishment.

Dr. Kimura nodded approvingly, “this sounds rather promising.”

A sigh of relief escaped Reisen’s nose.

“That said, I will examine this cure with you carefully before we use it. Until then, our job is to make sure our patients rest as much as possible. And from now on, we will keep the area not only free of infection, but kegare as well.”

Everyone nodded.

“Does anyone have any objections or observations?”

Nobody said anything, but the air around them was noticeably lighter. Definitely thanks to Reisen’s performance.

“In that case, you are dismissed. Please continue the treatment of our patients.”

The nurses bowed in unison, “yes, Dr. Kimura.”

He turned to the woman with hazel eyes sitting right beside Eirin. “Miyuu, please show Dr. Yagokoro’s assistant around.”

She bowed before the crowd dispersed, then turned to her.

“Don’t worry. Being a know-it-all in this place is more of a blessing than a curse, if you know when to be one.”

She made a face. It was obvious mockery but she needed to react in a way that doesn’t make her stick out even more. How was one even supposed to answer such a question without seeming suspicious?

Giving a positive answer, such as “I see” or “alright” would obviously make her look oblivious. “Very funny” is a bit much. Perhaps… 

The nurse chuckled, “if you keep thinking that hard, your brain might just fry itself.”

Her eyes widened in embarrassment. She couldn’t believe that her struggle to give a decent answer was so obvious. 

“Alright, come on. We don’t have all day.”

As soon as she said that, she was already up and headed towards the tent.

With a small delay, Eirin did the same.

…

The tent that housed the sick was hygienically separated into two halves with a transitional area between the two for disinfecting. One housed the patients, and the other had the nurses’ and doctors’ quarters, a kitchen, a small pharmacy, a storage and a common area. All obviously makeshift, but well prepared for what they were.

The next hour or so was spent learning where important tools and resources are, for the sake of efficiency. Miyuu made sure to thoroughly explain how things are done.

“...just make sure you keep these separate.” She explained, “I’m sure you already knew most of this, just making sure we’re all on the same page.”

“Of course,” she nodded.

She was glad to see the preparedness on display. For the tools humans are limited to, everything was well organized and sufficiently clean.

“We may not be needing these any longer though, if Dr. Yagokoro’s medicine is as effective as he says it is.”

Her and Dr. Kimura’s caution was not uncalled for. After all, their medical toolset is hardly comprehensible for humans. Besides, no mortal in their right mind would enthusiastically go in the middle of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost to get treated by a strange doctor who never leaves it. 

Eirin and the village doctor have a decent business relationship, even if only through letters,  but caution is one of the merits of a healer.

“I assure you it is. I’m sure Dr. Kimura will see it himself in time.”

She shrugged, “if I’m being honest, I don’t even doubt Dr. Yagokoro’s abilities. He practically brought my uncle in law back from the dead.”

“Certainly. He’s very resourceful and acts fast.” Eirin smiled.

“I can’t disagree.” Miyuu agreed. “Things will depend more on my Master. He’s a little…”

“...insecure.” she finished the sentence in a hushed tone.

“Insecure? Aren’t you reading a little too much into it?”

“My initiation intimidated him, because I was acting on my own terms and not his. It’s that simple.” She said matter of factly.

It made the nurse thoughtfully lower her head. She then nodded to herself.

“You may have a point.” Her tone changed to be more lighthearted. “It would make way too much sense.”

“What exactly makes you say that?” Eirin chuckled.

She turned a mischievous glance towards her, “you should see him talk with his mother. That woman is, a handful, let’s say.”

They both giggled.

“My name is Eirin, by the way.” 

“Miyuu. Wait, you knew that already, haha.”

“I do.” She smiled back. 

She decided to sprinkle in a complementary sentence, just for the sake of it. “Mi for beauty and yuu for abundance, I presume.”

She rolled her eyes at her. “Actually, mi is for fate and yuu is for bind.”

“I see.” 

“Besides, I’m married.”

Eirin was caught off-guard.

“Well, so am I.” She lied. She was aware that by human conventions she would have needed to be married very young, and she was anything but young.

“Just you wait until I tell your husband that you were about to cheat him!” She bumped her with her elbow jokingly, “and with a woman of all people!” 

Eirin laughed through her embarrassment, “I was simply trying to compliment you.” 

“Well, tone it down,” she gave her a look. “Most people will have a lot less lighthearted reaction if you tell them such things.”

It felt as if she snapped out of a daze. 

It was too much. 

She now realized that she was drunk with the impurities of the Earth before she was brought to her senses. 

Now what her Princess told her seemed to make a lot more sense. Look, who’s talking. Accusing her of courtship? Aren’t you the one who’s courting her?  

Has she been defiled long before her idea of becoming a woman was even conceived?

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Miyuu’s words brought her attention back to the matter at hand. “Speaking a different language than your mother-tongue must be difficult.”

However, her mind was empty of a proper answer.

“Just pay attention to it next time, okay?” She smiled.

“O-of course.” She dipped her head.

She turned back towards the ingredients. “Anyways, one of our patients is coughing. As your first task, make some ginger tea for her.”

“Ginger tea…” Eirin started thinking, “does she have a dry or a wet cough?”

“A wet cough.”

“Does she take anything that affects the thickness of her blood?”

“No, why?”

She nodded to herself, “in this case, steam therapy might prove more useful. It would help mucus break up more easily and thus, it would make coughing less of an effort for our patient.”

“You have a point, but remember: we need to keep the sick from exerting themselves as much as we can,” she warned. “We can’t have her lean over steaming water for that long.”

Eirin nodded, “I wasn’t about to suggest that either. We should instead make her rosemary tea and have her breathe in the vapors.”

“...rosemary? I’ve never heard of such a plant.” Miyuu raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a plant of the west.” She explained, “I’ve brought some with me from home. I could-”

“Yeaaah… let’s just stick to ginger tea.” She shot her down.

Eirin blinked. “Rosemary tea would be significantly more effective.”

Miyuu turned to her, “if you want to explain it to and fight Dr. Kimura about it for days, go ahead. Just keep in mind that in the meanwhile there’s a patient in need of help who isn’t getting it. So please swallow your pride and make that ginger tea.”

She was surprised at the directness, but decided not to argue anymore and went to prepare the drink.

The tiger came from the mainland, and so it has the dried tea, springs jump off the mountains, so it has the water , she repeated from memory while looking for the right pot. The one with mountains painted on it. 

Unfortunately, these springs ran dry.

“Oh. Right, we got a lot of new patients today, I should have known we would run out sooner.” Miyuu put a palm to her face. “Would you mind bringing water? You don’t have to climb mountains, don’t worry. There’s a spring not far into the bamboo forest. You can’t miss it.”

“I will,” said Eirin, trying to pick an empty pot to bring it in.

“You can take that one, it’s light enough so that-”

By the time she finished, she picked one that’s much more sturdy and tall.

“Or do that .” She said, “just don’t expect yourself to be able to completely fill that in one go.”

She lifted it above her head, “I’ll keep it in mind, but my bet is on the fact that you’re wrong.”

“Oh you want to bet?” Her tone turned mischievous again, “2000 yen says that you can’t do it.”

She was so sure that she’s going to win. Eirin found it somewhat endearing. Might as well play along, just to signal to her that she’s no pushover. Besides, money is always good to have.

“How about 3500?”

“Deal.” She smiled, “just don’t break anything of yours, alright?”

“I won’t,” Eirin returned the smile, then went on her way.

…

The spring was located not far from the camp, at the edge of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, just like Miyuu said. She actually knew about this place for almost as long as she spent on Earth. 

She did always have to consider the possibility of her too becoming mortal along with her Princess. Her resources were limited at the time too, so locating a water source was a must. 

Since then, it ended up becoming more beneficial to simply extract water from the damp air of the forest. Walking to this place could have revealed their position after all, and the water itself wasn’t the purest either. 

An exact replica of this specific spring was constructed in the garden of the House of Eternity. Its sound is very effective at calming Princess Kaguya's nerves. Especially at night.

When the pot had filled, she took it and headed back to the camp. That is, she would have, but that moment she heard people marching by in perfect harmony.

In perfect harmony.

She quickly got a long piece of paper out of her sleeve, then snapped it against the air like a whip. The snap caused it to turn into fine dust that surrounded Eirin, but due to how fine it was, it was virtually undetectable by the time it completely dissolved.

A sound and light deflecting barrier. She knew it would come in handy.

Just as she finished that thought, those responsible for the commotion appeared not far from her, striped by lush green bamboo. 

There was no doubt; they were moon rabbits.

The barrier allowed her to move, as the particles clinged on and formed a structure around her. She did so too, even if it was a little difficult with the heavy jug on her head. She knew however that if she left it somewhere and it was found, it would raise rightful suspicion. 

She went not in their opposite direction, but right towards the Lunarian troops. They could unknowingly give away important information after all.

"Halt!" The order was barked. 

Not to her, luckily. The rabbits were ordered to stop.

It made her tense up anyways, the cause of it was the voice that delivered it. 

Through a nearby bush, she saw her clearly. One of the leaders of the Lunar emissaries, who she knew well as the wife of the son of her grandnephew. Watatsuki no Toyohime.

She was not surprised in the slightest. In fact, she was relieved that she could hold her position despite everything.

"Nothing, after all," she sighed, "just a tent full of sick humans and their caretakers. We will avoid them. The last thing we want is bringing a mortal plague back to the Capital."

What she said pulled Eirin's lips into a smile. She had no idea that their sickness was actually brought on by the fleeing Lunarians that landed on Earth on that accursed night. Lead Body simply cannot occur in this realm naturally.

Though, notably, for Lunarians the symptoms of Lead Body cause nothing more than mild discomfort.

“All, right. Let’s take a five minute respite.”

The moment she said that, the rabbits let themselves fall to the ground like bagfuls of salt, letting out groans of relief. Shortly, Toyohime let out a laugh at them before they joined her with their quiet giggles. 

Eirin couldn't help but chuckle herself, in the meanwhile, going just a little bit closer. As long as she wasn't in the rabbits' line of sight, she would be fine even when very close. Only they could pick up on the misdirected sound and lightwaves. 

"They couldn't have gone in the bamboo thicket,” their leader continued, sitting on the ground cross legged on a purified piece of cloth. “If the udonge is anything to go by, it's nothing but a youkai nest. No matter how much they love this ball of mud, they’re most likely not there." 

This is good. The Princess seems to be safe at least from this group of emissaries and at least for now. There was no way of knowing if there were more troops in Gensokyo.

Her eyes couldn't help but fall on her former student. She felt the need to hold her sight for as long as she could, as if it were rations to take with herself now that she was fated to never leave the Earth. They were bitter ration, but she held onto them fiercely regardless.

Shortly, they reorganized and started search once again, this time heading towards the mountains past Youkai Mountain.

She watched the troops disappear behind the Forest of Magic as her barrier wore off. 

On her way back to the camp, she followed the stream for a while. Her reflection walked along with her; her ethereality no longer present, and her face already showing the wear life puts on everything it touches. Something like a human, but not quite.

The more she looked, and the more it looked back at her, the more unnatural she seemed. Especially compared to the recent memory of her former student in mind. 

A human, but not quite.

The bestial offspring of divine and mundane. 

A mongrel.

Then, the stream and her went separate ways before her thoughts could distort her form even further. She let out a sigh lamenting the life she lived on the Moon in contrast with what she has now. Or rather, what she lacks now.

A promise, however, is a promise, and no matter what would happen, her Princess’s safety would always come first.

…

She poured the contents of the heavy piece of pottery into a large pot before sitting down to fan the fire below it. An inefficient way of purifying water, but she knew it would be noticed if she did it her own way.

Three nurses entered the kitchen, all carrying firewood, visibly with a lot of trouble. Eirin swiftly went to their aid. Together, they placed them where they belonged: in the corner of the room.

“Ahh, thank you.”

All three bemoaned the pain in one or more of their joints, especially their backs.

“Why does Dr. Kimura ask us to bring firewood? This is men’s work…”

“To be fair, the less people are involved with this outbreak, the better.”

“It’s not better if we break our backs doing it…”

Eirin, who in the meanwhile went back to fan the fire, could have offered to bring firewood instead of them in the future, but that would have meant being too busy to get actually involved with the more important matter at hand. 

Besides, it could have given her away if they learnt that men’s work is something she’s equipped to do. As important as archery was to her, and as much strength millennia of practice gave her back and shoulders, it detracted a lot from her feminine traits.

“Do you need more wood?” One of them asked her.

“Some kindling would be nice.”

“Phew, okay.”

The rest of the nurses chuckled at her, knowing she only asked out of politeness and was glad she only had to lift a couple of branches.

“Eirin, right?” She asked while feeding the fire.

“Yes.”

“Miyuu-san said you had some plant from the west for coughing. Is it from Qing?”

Eirin laughed, “no, it’s further west than that.”

Of course. Humans would only know of their own small village and perhaps the empire they live in aside from one or two other countries. They couldn’t fathom the vastness of the universe even if they tried.

One of the nurses behind them stretched, “can you show us how they work? Maybe we could use it in the future.”

“Maybe later. We have patients to treat, no?”

She had no intention of sharing them in reality. After all, she couldn’t have let simple humans get a hold of such knowledge with her help. Heavens know in how many ways they would misuse it.

“You certainly do.” Miyuu’s stern voice suddenly rang in the kitchen causing the three other nurses to stand up and dip their heads in respect.

“Where’s the rice I asked you to bring?” 

“W-we were about to bring it…” one of them said sheepishly.

“Then bring it instead of chatting and keeping others occupied.” She pointed towards the doorway of the kitchen with a commanding gaze.

They left it hurriedly, while doing their best not to look her in the eye.

Miyuu then glanced at Eirin who tried to turn away from her and fan faster to make sure she knows she’s working. 

“I hope I didn’t scare you. That was for them, not you,” she laughed. “It kind of feels wrong ordering you around anyways.”

She cleared her throat, “...does it?”

“Yeah… I’m not sure why…” Miyuu said, walking over to the table, “probably because you’re a lot older than me.”

She held her breath in anticipation for a moment.

“At least, you look a lot older. And act like that too.”

“I’m 62,” she answered.

“Oh.” She seemed surprised at the fast answer. “Okay, then I was right. I’m 55.”

Their conversation ended there, but the silence wasn’t awkward in the slightest. It was just the two of them working away with the occasional person stepping into the room for a tool or two. 

She prepared the tea finally, and, wearing eye protection as well as the mask that was on her the entire time, she carefully helped the patient drink it with little to no trouble.

It wasn’t until she returned with the disinfected cup when Miyuu spoke to her again.

“So what was it like? Turning 60 I mean.”

Her somber tone made her turn her head, “turning 60?”

She knew what she was talking about, of course. The sexagenary cycle is an important measurement of time and phases of existence for humans. It’s not like she and her people never borrowed it for something or another, but mostly just for Lunarian technology that obeys the flow of time as humans perceive it.

It’s not like she didn’t remember the sixtieth year of her thousands of millennia long life. But which one of those was the sixtieth would forever remain a mystery. Amatsukami aren’t affected by the flow of time. They don’t count their years and put them in a row like pinned specimens.

Now that she wasn’t an amatsukami, however…

“Do you always do that?”

Eirin’s thought process was unwelcomely interrupted, “do what?”

“Thinking about a simple answer with the same intensity as trying to solve all the problems of the world.”

Needless to say, she was unamused.

“To answer your question… I would say, it was a transformative experience.”

Every sixty years a rebirth of sorts takes place in nature. Humans, a part of nature, experience this as well, but beside that, they have their own personal rebirth on their sixtieth birthday.

The answer was vague, but just fitting enough for it to sound like a personal important event.

Surprisingly, Miyuu’s eyes widened suddenly. Eirin wasn’t sure why.

“Huh.” She looked away finally.

That was a strange answer.  

“Hm?”

“Oh… nothing. Well,…” she paused, “ as a child I would think mine would be like that too. That’s all…”

Another strange answer. Still, she decided not to contemplate it further. 

…

Hours passed before another meeting was called. It was held in the same place as before, but at this point the setting sun colored the sky red and everything else black. A lantern in the middle served as the only light.

There were some light yawns from among the nurses, but the sound of cicadas practically drowned them out.

Eirin was little away from falling asleep herself. Fatigue blurred her sight and mind this late in the evening for the second time in her… life. 

It’s not like she needed to be alert right now anyways; she knew they would start using her medicine and this outbreak would remain nothing but a minor setback.

She did straighten her back when Reisen and Dr. Kimura arrived. The doctor wasted no time to make the announcement. Or rather, wasted no time in handing her the opportunity. Curiously, she seemed to deliberately avoid eye-contact with her Master.

The rabbit cleared her throat, “h-has everyone arrived?”

She received awkward nods from some of the nurses.

“O-okay, alright. So… er-hem!” She began once more, “After long deliberation, we have decided to carry on with our current treatment method. I-it proved to be more effective than the new plan.

…what? Eirin’s eyes opened wide in bewilderment.

Impossible. She thought of every possibility that could have come up. She had an answer to every question asked or issue raised. How could this happen?

Obviously her main target for where it all could have gone wrong was her assistant. Then again, she’s extraordinarily reliable. The chances of her ruining the plan were rather low.

Low, but not zero.

The rest of the meeting was regarding supplies and funds. It could have been important to listen in, but all she could think about was what she might have missed. No matter how hard she looked, she found that she thought of everything. Just what could have been the issue?

They were dismissed too, soon enough, there wasn’t as much to talk about this time.

“Finally, I thought we would never be let go” Miyuu yawned as the nurses began to disperse. “I’ll show you to your bedding.”

“I’ll follow you shortly,” Eirin said, looking at Reisen with the determination of a well aimed arrow, “I have something to discuss with my Master.”

“Alright.” She raised an eyebrow, “just don’t get in any trouble.”

“I don’t get in trouble.”

Something within her delivered this answer not as a reassurance, but as a threat.

“All…right…”

Soon, everyone but her and the rabbit left. They waited a minute or two more just to be sure.

When the time came, she didn’t even have to say a word to make her speak.

"I know, Master," Reisen bowed apologetically. "I swear I tried everything. I described the medicine’s effects and possible side effects in detail, how long it takes, and the ingredients too…” 

“Did he raise concern about potential liver overactivity from its usage?”

“He has.” She said, “I told him that it’s minimal, like you told me to do so.”

“And about how much energy it takes to digest it?”

“Yes.”

“So?”

“Again, I told him what you told me to answer. I did that with every question you foresaw, but they were no use.”

Eirin scoffed. “He cannot possibly be thinking that their current method is better.”

She shook her head in disbelief. How could he have done that when it's the purity of this accursed place that’s at risk. Every minute spent sick just spreads kegare everywhere.

“The thing is, he doesn’t.” She said, “It's better in every regard than the current method, he said that himself, but he still rejected it.”

“Just, why would he?”

“He said, ‘the job of a doctor isn't to fix people, but to make them feel better'."

There was silence for a second.

"I mean, isn't that the same thing?"

Eirin could do nothing but sigh. She was sure if she was in Reisen's situation, she could have convinced the doctor one way or another. Now, however, she had to reap what she sowed. 

"We will… figure it out." She said, finally. "Until then, we will do what Dr. Kimura asks of us… Now…"

She looked around to see if the area was still clear.

“I want you to find Tewi. I need her and her brethren to guard the House of Eternity and alert us if there’s any unusual activity.”

“Guard it? Why?”

“The Lunar troops are scouring Gensokyo.”

Reisen let out a small gasp, “already? Weren’t the emissaries out of jobs?”

“I’m afraid, they aren’t anymore.” Eirin shook her head, “I saw them marching towards the mountains to the west while I was bringing water. I couldn’t figure out yet if there are more groups.”

“Did Ladies Watatsuki lead them?”

“I only saw rabbits by themselves. They are probably given commands remotely.”

She couldn’t have risked Reisen being distracted, or worse, paralyzed by the fear of encountering one of her former owners, who might finally punish her for deserting if they ever get to her.

“I see.” Her relief was rather obvious, even if it was subtle. “I’ll do my best to find Tewi, let’s just hope the rabbits cooperate.”

“We have little choice right now.” 

Reisen suddenly lowered her voice, "e-exactly. So you, uh, better keep your head down, or else it'll have consequences."

It took her a second, but hearing the sound of footsteps, she realized that someone must be nearby and might have heard them.

"Do you understand, Eirin?!" the rabbit continued with fake anger.

"Yes, Dr. Yagokoro." She bowed.

"You better! Or else you’ll be going to sleep with an empty belly tomorrow!"

They both stopped holding their breaths when the sound of footsteps started echoing from further and further away.

"Urgh. That felt awful," Reisen whispered.

“You should be proud. You handled the situation with flying colors.” Eirin gave her tired approval. “You should look for her at night. That minimizes the chances of getting found out. Besides, youkai are more active at this time of day.”

“Aw, do I really need to…?” She groaned.

“I just praised you, Udonge. Don’t make me take it back.”

“Okaaay…” She agreed begrudgingly, “it’s just… it’s not like Princess Kaguya can’t protect herself though, can’t it wait a day? Maybe two…?”

“I know that you’re tired, but that’s no reason to abandon your discipline.”

Surprisingly, instead of collecting herself as usual, Reisen’s face turned miffed.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do…” she sighed, and with that, she stood up, stretched, and began making her way through the bamboo forest.

Eirin still sat there as her footsteps faded into the darkness, thinking. 

All of this is the cause of kegare , she thought. After I fix it, after I right everything, things will be fine again. Everything will be fine…”

She told herself this, but didn’t truly believe a word of it.

Still, the moon rose again above the tainted Earth, barely drawing a bow.

Chapter Text

“Eirin!”

“Yes?”

“We need two more cups of the cough medicine mixed!”

“On it. Do we have any more powdered daikon left?”

“Catch!”

Eirin caught a small container and added its contents to the mixture she was preparing. “Wait!” She called in the last second.

Miyuu took a sharp turn back towards her.

She handed her rope, “for the firewood.”

“Thanks,” she looped it around herself. “Girls, please wash these.”

“Right away, Miyuu-san!” Two other nurses who worked beside Eirin took empty dishes from her hand before she left.

That day, there seemed to be no end to work. Thanks to the pandemic hitting its peak, the nurses’ numbers seemed to be dwarfed by the amount of medicine needing to be prepared, patients to take care of and resources to gather.

Eirin barely even saw Reisen that day. Handiwork, as well as administrative work piled up like never before.

On their way to opposite rooms, she and Miyuu almost collided, but thankfully nothing broke or fell out of their hands. They both acknowledged their slip up with a chuckle before carrying on with their duties.

When Eirin was done with treating a patient, she found the nurse in the pharmacy, trying and failing to start a fire for the preparation of another type of medicine.

She immediately kneeled beside her, trying to figure out how she could help.

“This wood really doesn’t want to cooperate…” Miyuu sighed, fanning practically nothing but embers.

“You may be fanning too fast, let’s see what happens if you leave it alone.”

As soon as she did, it started dimming.

They looked at one another and both swiftly grabbed at their fans, vigorously trying to breathe some life into the ashes.

Just as Eirin’s arm started to hurt, the fire grew big enough to sustain itself, at least for a little while. She, along with Miyuu then reclined on the ground using their hands to support themselves. They both let out a sigh to release the tension that built up within them.

“Take that, you stupid pine!” The nurse pointed at the fire, lazily.

The other gave her a tired chuckle. Humans cussing at inanimate objects never ceased to amuse her.

“Listen, I’ve been pestering the doctor to arrange it so that we can get oak wood instead but nooooo,” she rolled her eyes. “Just ‘cause pine is easier to get doesn't mean it burns better, hotter or longer than oak.”

As if saying his name acted as a spell, suddenly Dr. Kimura entered the room. The two women immediately stood up and politely dipped their heads.

He looked around, “the fire is going. Very well.”

They both gave him a small bow.

“Have you two had lunch today?” 

“No, Dr. Kimura.” Eirin replied.

“You may have it now then, Fuyuki and Naru will take over your duties for a little while,” he said.

“Yes, Dr. Kimura,” they both said at the same time, barely able to keep their postures respectful from exhaustion. They both bowed politely as he left.

As soon as he did, their eyes met. A laugh threatened to burst out of both of them. Miyuu let herself fall to the ground and hid her face in her palms and let out a groan of frustration. 

“Thank the Heavens he’s deaf in one ear.”

…

They were sat at the camp area, the midday sun warming their tired muscles. The presence of food in their hands, likewise. Even if it was nothing but rice porridge with various herbs that filled one’s stomach and provided some immunity against the disease.

Although nurses never ate all at the same time to lower the chance of infection, there would always be groups at the very least three of them, eating together and chatting. Today, two at best would eat together, with how much work needed to be done.

Eirin didn’t particularly mind. Whenever she had lunch with the others, it never didn’t become obvious that she spoke an entire language than them.

She was sure that they either didn’t pay much mind to it, or chalked it up to language barrier, but it irked her enough to consider it a fault or multiple faults to be ironed out. What the faults exactly were needed further research.

Miyuu, on the other hand, never made her feel bad about them. She was quite spunky for a woman, which gave her mind ease. The fact that it was only the two of them that day made her feel rather relaxed.

“Oof, my back is killing me today,” the nurse groaned.

“Have you tried using a warmed up pillow?”

“Who has the time to prepare that?” She asked, annoyed.

As she was massaging her back with one hand, her porridge threatened to spill. Eirin caught the half of the bowl that was closer to her, inadvertently touching her hand in the process.

“Ah!” She repositioned the bowl on her knee, “thanks.”

The other nodded as acknowledgement. 

Her mind, however, chose to fixate on a tiny seed of yet to be identified emotion that sat in her belly after feeling the warmth of her hand. It wasn’t painful or worrisome and so she let it be as she gave a blow to a spoonful of her porridge, and finally, tasted it.

The rich, almost sweet taste of rice was akin to a divine blessing for her empty stomach. Its warmth and caressing smell didn’t help either. She had to take serious effort to not gobble it all up in one go.

Her mind conjured an image of a poor farmer whose only sustenance was all he could find in the surrounding fields and forests besides the rice he tended to all year long. 

Rice was the most common offering and now she truly understood why. The most precious of sustenances man can find; offered to kamisama, in hopes of conveying to them the joy they felt upon receiving it.

Their efforts tend to fail. Of course, kami understand that humans need food, and suffer and even die if they can’t get any, but the knowledge of that almost felt insubstantial compared to the feeling itself.

Eirin looked at her partner, who was practically devouring the porridge. The same way she wanted to but stopped herself from doing. She thought about all the secrets she and her kind still had concealed within them. Perhaps becoming mortal isn’t such a punishment if she could use it to collect information.

Miyuu, of course, looked back at her eventually; grains of rice stuck to her cheeks, her beautiful amber eyes shining with curiosity.

“Regarding that pillow, I’m sure I can allocate some time today to prepare it for you.”

“Nah, don’t bother. I’m used to it,” she took another spoonful of the porridge.

Another grizzly reminder of life’s hardships made Eirin take back what she just thought. As humans age, of course, their bodies gradually lose their functions until they’re weak enough to die from it. 

Back pain was one of these symptoms, which Miyuu complained about fairly frequently. She on the other hand was thankful that the worst she dealt with so far was minor knee pain from standing too long. She decided to take initiative in the future to prevent it from worsening.

“Impressive,” she said,” I wouldn’t last even a day without treatment.” 

“For some reason I thought you had more pains than I do,” the other laughed, “but I guess since you brought water in a single go like a week ago, I should have known you didn’t.”

Eirin silently agreed.

“Or did you?” The nurse jokingly narrowed her eyes, “you could have been just saying that. It’s 4000 yen that’s at risk.”

“3500.”

Miyuu gave it some thought, “yeah, okay,  you probably did.”

“Unless I’m just saying that to gain your trust and fork money out of you,” she smiled.

“Come on!” She bumped her in the side.

“Not an impossibility, “ she blew at her porridge, “you cannot ever know others’ intentions. It doesn’t hurt to consider every possibility.”

“It would absolutely give me a headache,” she grimaced, “if I had to think about everyone’s underlying intentions all the time, I would go mad for sure.”

You’re just human, after all , Eirin thought. Though not without the memory of her own follies as a technically newborn human poking into her side like thistle.

“But that explains why you’re like that, I guess,” she joked, “though you don’t seem insane to me.” She leaned closer, “unless you’re hiding it well.”

“It seems to be rubbing off on you. All according to my plans.”

“Oh no! It’s contagious!”

They both chuckled.

In the lull between conversations, Eirin cleared her bowl. She looked at the bottom of it, unsatisfied. It felt like she barely had any lunch, and a growl of her stomach seemed to agree.

“Anyways, I’ll get you that money. Next month. There’s no way I’m forking out that much right now,” Miyuu told her.

“That’s alright.”

“You live in the bamboo forest, right?” She asked, “just so I know where to send it.” 

“Mhm.”

“Isn’t that lonely?” She rested her chin on her palms.

“Hm?”

“I mean I can’t imagine there being many people in there.” 

“Well, Dr. Yagokoro is there.” Eirin reasoned.

“He’s not a person, he’s a youkai.”

Of course, there were many whispers about Dr. Yagokoro, the great doctor, who lives in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost and can heal anyone of anything, even simple discomfort. 

It was almost common knowledge in the Village that he wasn’t even human, and unsurprisingly, it wasn’t wrong.

Although she wasn’t about to confirm or deny that.

“Define what a person is.”

“Look,” she turned towards her with her whole body, “if I had to prove it before Hell’s court of law with factual evidence, I couldn’t. All I’m saying is that if you talk to a youkai, you just know they’re one.”

“Obviously, there are tell-tale signs of one being a youkai.” Eirin agreed.

“No, I mean…” Miyuu was visibly doing her best to try and find the right words to express herself. “You know, even if a youkai looked, acted and talked like a human to a T, it’s still very obvious that they aren’t.”

“How… so?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Like I said, I couldn’t say how. It’s just…” she shrugged, “something you know.”

This left her thinking, and for reasons that are less than ideal. If humans can sense something is amiss with someone, could that apply to other non-humans? Could it apply to humans of different… origins?

Soon enough, the nurse finished her meal and she sighed satisfied. At least someone was pleased with that tiny bowl of porridge.

They sat in the calm ambience of the surrounding fauna with the noises of work being muffled by the tent, before Miyuu spoke.

“If I can be honest for a second…” 

Eirin turned to face her.

”...I never really spend time with… women.”

“Other… women?” She half questioned, half corrected.

But she seemed to immediately ignore her addendum.

“I just… always played with boys as a kid, and I can’t really seem to find a good topic with the rest of the nurses… well, aside from you.”

Suddenly, her shoulders tensed up. 

Are things heading in an unfavorable direction for her? If so, if she doesn’t think of something to get herself out of the situation…

“I’m just.. glad about that.” Miyuu laughed nervously, “I always thought there was something wrong with me, but…”

She went quiet.

The situation deescalated and yet it didn’t calm Eirin in the slightest.

She couldn't help herself. Disquiet moved her legs without her permission.

“P-please excuse me.”

With rapid footsteps, she aimed to find somewhere safe. Somewhere she’s free from being seen. From being known as an intruder.

Her thoughts racing, she found short-term comfort on a fallen tree on the other side of the camp. As much as she tried to air her head, her mind stole away any and all ease she could have had.

Her sole existence felt like a misstep. A mistake she couldn’t ever hope to correct.

She was knowledge itself or so she said she was. Capable of bending reality itself and yet her methods seemed to fail to defy simple mortal instincts.

The knowledge and means to achieve the greatest feats the Lunar Capital has ever seen were worthless. 

It was clear how impossible it was for her to achieve true womanhood. And worst of all, all she could do was just sit and watch it unfold.

No way back and no way forward.

“...Master?”

Reisen’s voice made her turn, startled.

She herself didn’t seem to be very put together either. Notably, she had large bags under her eyes and she even forgot to set down her lunch somewhere.

“I… I’m alright,” she tried to look as composed as possible. “I just need to take a breather is all.”

“I… uh… figured you would be alright,” she muttered. “I just wanted to tell you that I finally found Tewi last night. She’ll do it, but she’ll ask for twice as much as last time.”

“That’s wonderful news, thank you.” She was aware that her tone of voice sounded like she just wanted the conversation to end, but at that moment she could barely contain the thoughts racing in her head.

Reisen let out an enormous yawn, “you don’t sound very happy about it.” She continued after a sniff, “actually, it kinda seems like not everything is alright.”

“Like I said, I’m alright. All that concerns you right now is doing well by Dr. Kimura.”

Judging by Reisen’s expression somehow turning more awake, she was unsuccessful. She wasn’t impressed by the fact that she might look just as bad as she felt inside. The last thing she wants is involving her assistant in these matters.

Despite her ever present anxieties, Eirin’s eyes kept gravitating towards the bowl of rice the rabbit was holding.

“Master… I… know that you can manage things, but you’re starting to seriously worry me,” she confessed. “First there was the whole sex change thing and then that whole affair with the Princess and now-”

“Are you going to eat that?” Eirin’s question came only partially as a distraction.

The rabbit paused for a little longer than she would have if she wasn’t sleep deprived. 

“Oh… uh…” She looked at the bowl, “would this make you feel better?”

“Like I said, I just need to take a breather. Some food would help me indeed,” she reassured.

She gave her a weak smile and handed it over to her, “alright, Master. Just make sure you tell me if something’s wrong.”

“Of course,” relieved, she took the bowl of sweet, fragrant rice.

At the same time she took offense. Even if she knows the rough jist of them, her assistant had no idea of the extent of duties she was in charge of. Like her divine parent always told her: she was responsible for what she created. This situation was all her doing and she will be the one to deal with it.

As she tasted the rice again, both her annoyance and unease melted away, although the knot in her stomach remained as is. 

Still, she’s Yagokoro-Omoikane. She can find solutions to it all.

She will.

She must.

She needs to.

…

Eirin was the last one to be still up working, as usual. 

Many others have asked her to go to bed earlier before, but obviously, they have little insight into the situation at hand. All the extra effort is for the ultimate good of everyone.

Someone has to keep things functional and under control and she will have to be the one to do so. A disorderly workspace is the bane of any place calling itself a healthcare institution or anything adjacent to that.  

“Still working?” Miyuu’s voice rang behind her. 

She turned to reply, “just one last bit of work, I’ll go to sleep afterwards.”

“You better,” she threw her a knowing glance. “Good night, Eirin.”

“Good night.”

However, something within Eirin didn’t want the chat to end yet. A strange pull towards her coworker demanded to be listened to. Soon enough, she obeyed it.

“Miyuu?” She called out.

She returned with a questioning yawn and stopped right at the entrance of the room.

Eirin hesitantly stood up and walked up to her. Just close enough that she could still see her relatively sharply.

“I’m sorry for running off earlier,” she said, hanging her head. “It was rude of me to just up and leave you like that without a word.”

With some delay, Miyuu gave her a sympathetic smile, “aw, thank you for saying that.”

The encouraging words allowed for Eirin’s eyes to meet hers. 

She continued, “it did make me feel bad, yeah. Though to be fair, what I said was kind of a weird thing to say to someone…” 

“I assure you, it wasn’t,” she insisted.

“Hmm…then… what was the matter?”

The other didn’t reply.

“You don’t want to talk about it,” she said in her place.

Eirin finally answered, “no…”

“That’s alright,” she put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I forgive you either way.”

They parted ways while exchanging smiles. A pleasant sensation of safety lingered within Eirin as she continued cleaning up and sorting.

Miyuu has such a lovely smile , she thought. Boyish and mischievous, and yet, endlessly elegant. Her hands were busy with it in mind, keeping the thought close as if it was the warmth of hearth within a kitchen.

She worked tirelessly, until the moon reached the top of the sky. By that time, her eyelids grew heavy and her workflow seemingly slowed as well. She wanted to sigh but found that she didn’t even have the strength to get frustrated.

Unexpectedly, she ended up needing to hold onto the edge of a storage box to prevent herself from falling over while she was putting the tools back in their places. Afterwards, she noticed that she couldn’t regain her balance again, no matter how hard she tried. 

Eventually, she gave in and let herself rest on the ground, her back against the box. 

She noted the clamminess of her hands. Who knew that summer could get so hot and that not even the crisp of night could grant her relief from that?

Well, nevermind that. She had a job to do… perhaps a minute or so later. 

A small breather couldn’t hurt, can it?

…

That morning, Eirin opened eyes that were still heavy, as if she didn’t rest a second. Her breath was strangely long, as if she was working at a blacksmith's bellows. Her whole body, similarly, felt heavy.

It took her a second to adjust her view and see that she was in a small closed off quarter that wasn’t her own.

She couldn't pay mind to it. It was as if her head was filled with mercury.

“Master…! Thank the Heavens…” 

She looked to her left to see a rabbit sitting beside her.

“What… happened…?” Two words squeezed out all the air from her lungs.

Just then, she heard someone else enter the small room. As if speech stole all her life force, she was now too weak to turn her head and face the stranger.

“I’ve brought the towel, Dr. Yagokoro,” a familiar voice rang out.

Me…? She requested no towel though. 

“Ah, I see you’re awake.” The composed, yet spunky voice said, “I’ll let you sleep very soon, but I need to cool you down a little beforehand.”

Their voice was eerily calm compared to the slowly settling horror of the situation. 

Eirin could barely move, barely breathe, barely speak, barely see… She felt darkness closing in on her. Any minute now, she might be gone.

As if on cue, she heard a gasp.

“Shhh sh sh sh, it’s okay, don’t force your breath,” the stranger tried to calm her.

“You…” she looked at her with eyes as wide as she could bear to keep them open. “I need… I need to…”

They grabbed her hand and rubbed it gently, “breathe with me slowly.”

Eirin ignored them, “a will…”

“Hm?”

“I need you to… write a will for me…” she forced her thoughts into words.

“W-what?” The rabbit asked in panic.

They looked at her, presumably, “Sir, would you mind bringing brush, ink and paper? I will tend to her in the meanwhile.”

With confused gasps of words, she finally left in a hurry.

Eirin looked at the tall figure in white leaving the room, panic now replaced with confusion, then sorrow. “...haven’t… seen him in a while,” she sighed. 

A sad sort of nostalgia came over her.

The stranger who started to become oddly familiar to her nodded, still rubbing her hand, “he’s very busy managing our finances, yes.”

“Finances…?” She couldn’t remember if she did any of those things. As a trivial part of her job, maybe, but… “isn’t he busy with the Lunar War?”

“No, he’s making sure our patients are treated. You included.”

Soon enough, he returned, having gained scarlet red eyes.

“He spent so much time among the rabbits,... he stole their faces…” Eirin muttered.

Murmurs were spoken, then she felt a warm squeeze of her hands again. “Dr. Yagokoro is here. He’ll write your will and testament.”

“My will…” 

She knew it would come to this. She would be executed soon. No... she was made to drink poison, and her past is the one recording her final breaths. How ironic.

“I… Eirin Yagokoro,... being of full age… and… sound mind and memory… do make, publish and declare this… to be my Last Will and Testament…”

“Okay, catch your breath a little…” Princess Kaguya said.

It made her pause for a moment. Where did that stranger go? But then, those memories all fell away.

The elixir, the mansion, Kaguya’s betrayal… It was all just a dream, then. 

A poison-induced fever dream. 

Her Princess will be safe now. It isn’t her who has to pay for her misgivings. She herself will. 

She found solace in the thought of dying for her. 

“You’re doing wonderfully,” she told her. “You will get through this in no time.”

Eirin didn’t doubt it. 

She continued.

“Half of all my belongings shall go to you, dear Princess… It is the least I can do for you after the fate I doomed you to… I am content… that you’re safe…”

A snort escaped the Princess’ nose, followed by laughter she tried to hold back.

“...why are you laughing…?” Her words stumbled out of her mouth with the earnestness of a disappointed child.

“I’m- I’m sorry…” she tried to suppress laughter before clearing her throat. “This is serious now. We’re being serious.”

Eirin sighed. “If I can be honest…since this is the last time we talk… I always did wish you took things more seriously,” she turned sober, “maybe then… none of it would have happened.”

She continued after some silence, “I wish I understood you… dear Princess.”

Silence was only broken by the sound of brush on paper.

“Who’s painting in here…? Can’t I have dignity at least while I'm dying…?”

Kaguya chuckled, “was that all you wanted in your will?”

Eirin paused for a moment, “where was I…? Right…” she sighed, “the other half from now on shall belong to…” 

The weakest possible manifestation of annoyance gripped her, trying to gather her scattered thoughts. She groaned, “what’s your name…?”

The Princess looked at the scribe behind her.

“Miyuu. But it’s Princess Miyuu to you!”

An annoyed voice spoke, “don’t feed her delusions!”

“Relax, sir. She won’t even remember any of this when she wakes up…”

“Reisen!” Eirin exclaimed.

“Eek!”

“The second half of my belongings shall be bestowed upon Reisen. The only person I would trust with my life on this wretched land. The horrors of impurity may be in abundance, but she’s never left me in trouble.” She sighed. 

She said goodbye to existence itself in thought. 

“Allow me to sign it.”

Her hand was directed to the will and with a quick scratch or two, she put her name onto the paper.

With a contented sigh, she put both hands on her belly, content. “Now, I shall finally rest easy.”

“Rest in peace, Eirin,” the Princess said and put a cover on her eyes.

Not even a moment later, she felt her own mind drift away, and her very being dissolved in the void. 

When she awoke, she felt her limp body being dragged on the ground. 

Her eyes were unmovingly staring at the white sands of the Moon passing her by. 

Then, she was thrown on the ground, like a used up rag. And as if the Moon itself rejected her, no gravity kept her on its surface.

She fell into the darkness of space, towards the tainted blue jewel called Earth. 

Princess Kaguya, flying straight towards it with a Lunar veil, didn’t even look back.

Resistance soon turned her body to face the Moon, only to see hundreds upon hundreds of her parents and siblings staring down upon her with contempt.

They grew smaller and smaller as the distance grew between them. 

Soon enough, the Moon was but a handful.

The sky grew more and more blue and wind shrieked in her ears louder and louder and louder.

Eirin let out a loud gasp as the impact shook her body.

But now, there was no sky above her.

Just the white canvas of a tent.

Her breath was strangely long, as if she was working at a blacksmith's bellows. Her whole body, similarly, felt heavy.

It took her a second to adjust her view and see that she was in a small closed off quarter that wasn’t her own.

She couldn't pay mind to it. It was as if her head was filled with mercury.

There was scrambling outside. Someone sounded very unsure of what to do.

Presumably that someone entered. 

“I-is everything alright?” She sat down beside her and put a gentle hand on her forehead, “it sounded like you had a nightmare.”

“I’m… what…?” Horrifyingly, she failed to remember where she even was or why she was there.

“You’ve contracted the sickness, and we had to isolate you. Thankfully, it seems like your fever has gone down…”

“The sickness…? “

“You collapsed in the pharmacy. We worried ourselves half to death over whether you’d be okay,” she explained.

With a little delay, it all came back to her. 

First the young nurse before her, who she half-remembered talking to one time, even if that time was less than ideal. She remembered wondering to herself if she was even cut out for the job.

And then, she remembered what she was there to do, her duties and her plans. 

All of them, now having to be on hold.

“I need to talk to Dr. Yagokoro,” frustration gave her enough strength to finish the sentence in one breath.

“He’s busy handling our supplies with Dr. Kimura,” she said, placing a new cold towel on her forehead. “You shouldn’t worry about work right now, you’re lucky to be alive.”

She forced a sigh. The only way she could protest.

“I’ll bring you some miso to eat in a minute,” the nurse said.

“I’m not hungry…”

Eirin felt as if she wasn’t supposed to be alive. As if she was not worthy of existing. Her body rejected any and all of its needs.

“Don’t be silly,” she said. “You’ve been slipping in and out of consciousness for almost a day now. You need something to give you strength now that you can eat.

She left the room with an “I’ll be right back” leaving her to be alone with her blurry, yet still painful thoughts.

There was no way she could talk to Reisen right now and had no idea where Miyuu was, as her last resort. On top of that she felt like the gravity of the whole planet pressed down upon her.

Her allies and even her body and mind left her. Or maybe they never even existed at all. All she was, was impure organic material. Sustenance for the ground and the worms and the beasts to swallow up and excrete. 

The glorious kami, Yagokoro-Omoikane-sama, was reduced to just that. 

Waste.  

When the nurse returned, Eirin didn’t even react. She let her head be propped up with many pillows, as clumsily as her caretaker was able to do so.

After she did, at long last, she handed her her first spoonful of the soup. 

Reluctantly, she accepted. What did it matter if its contents were filled with impurity, after all? She was no different.

At first, she felt its taste with disdain, but slowly as it moved around her mouth, her eyes widened.

“Is… everything alright?”

Eirin stared at the partition before her, “what… sort of soup is this?”

“O-oh… I uh… I admit that I didn’t cook it as long as I supposed to…,“ she said,” a-and uh, we were out of carrots and we have no mushrooms in stock for cooking so I-”

She couldn’t believe her -admittedly pretty dull- senses and so she asked for another spoonful.

They were, in fact, right.

Just like yesterday’s porridge, the warmth of the soup caressed her cheeks and made her belly warm. Its taste was rich and filling, as if it was a liquified 8 course meal. 

She couldn’t help, but be innocently, childishly honest: “This is the best meal I’ve ever had.”

As more and more of the miso filled her stomach, the nurse’s movements became a lot less jittery and her speech much less awkward.

…

It must have been a week, maybe two since Eirin became bedridden. Mostly bedridden, that is. She couldn’t help but get up and take a walk at least once a day. Every nurse she crossed paths with scolded her for it, but she did so regardless. She couldn’t allow to lose the rest of herself.

Uselessly laying all day was something she felt she couldn’t ever get used to. She didn’t have to, of course, the sickness was bound to be gone, slowly but surely.

Slowly, because she needed tol hide her body from her caretakers. Her insistence on bathing herself along with her daily walks kept her energy low and wearing many layers of clothing kept her fever high.

Still, at least, she wasn’t getting worse. 

Everything was under control.

“Even your fever subsided somewhat! That’s kind of incredible,” Miyuu said.

Eirin felt something that she could only describe as what dogs must feel when they wag their tails. That said, she still felt the sarcastic edge of that sentence.

“And your head?”

“Not much better,” she admitted.

Some patients suffered from nasty headaches, and unfortunately she was one of them. She’s had it since she got sick, and regardless of how painful it was at the time, it was always present. There’s been a couple of attempts at relieving it through medicine, but nothing would work.

“Hmm, that’s no good…” She started rummaging in the tools she brought.

Eirin lazily looked over, “what are you up to?”

“I’ll be giving you acupuncture,” she said. “If I can find my needles, that is.”

She acknowledged it in silence and waited patiently.

Miyuu was a little messy. She claimed she could find things more easily when they’re disorganized. Eirin naturally didn’t like nor believe that, but she could forgive this blunder just for her. 

Just don’t give yourself acupuncture by accident , she thought but was too tired to say out loud.

Just as she pulled one from the case, horrifyingly, something dawned on Eirin. Acupuncture for general headaches involves one of the needles to be inserted under her jaw. Her neck had to be exposed for that.

Her mind was racing, scrambling to find a way to dig herself out of this situation.

“A-about the treatment…” she began, trying her best not to sound panicked, “are you sure you exhausted every other option?” 

“We’ve given you herbs and medicine, I don’t see what else we could do.” She unbuttoned Eirin’s collared shirt, with her desperately trying to keep her chin low. “Besides massage, but that wouldn’t work for you.”

“I’m not sure why it wouldn’t. You haven’t even given it a try.” 

“You have a pole up your backside, that’s why,” she cleansed a needle above a small bout of flame.

For a moment Eirin thought she heard her Princess speak. “...what?”

“Look, just close your eyes if you don’t want to see it,” Miyuu said, exasperated. “I have like eight more people to visit tonight, I’d appreciate if you cooperated.”

In a last stitch effort, she attempted to use a small wordless spell to convince her otherwise, but between her illness and her panic, she didn’t have the proper concentration needed. 

She tried to think of what else she could do, and one dreadful idea kept interrupting her thought process.

As much as she tried to wave it away, dreadfully, it seemed to be the only solution.

“Wait!” She moved out from under the needle at the last second.

Miyuu gasped. “Heavens! What?! I almost pricked you at the wrong point!”

Eirin stayed silent, her hand resting on her throat, propping herself up with her other arm.

“What is it?” She asked, calmly this time. She was clearly concerned.

The other sat up to face her, but she ended up not being able to. Her fate was set in stone now. There is only one way out.

“I… need to tell you something,” she finally mustered the courage to look her in the eye. 

A small “oh” escaped Miyuu’s lips. “Do you have some condition I wasn’t aware of?”

“No,” she said instinctively before changing her mind,” well… I’ll explain.”

She was looking for the best way to paint a clear picture of her whole ordeal, but something made her just plainly say it.

“I… wasn’t always a woman…”

The nurse blinked at her questioningly.

“...and I didn’t become one without residue…”

The silence that spanned an eternity was broken by Miyuu.

“You… became a woman?”

Eirin hesitated for a moment.

“Yes.”

She didn’t dare to look at her at this point. And yet, she slowly removed her hand from her throat, visibly shaking. 

“But it didn’t change everything about my body,” she said. “I didn’t want you to see… at least… not in a way that I have no say in it.”

Almost subconsciously, she hid her bony hands under one another in her lap to try and make them seem smaller as she awaited her judgment.

It threatened to come slowly and painfully.

“...huh.”

…huh…?

Her tone wasn’t particularly disgusted, or even angry that she was nothing more than a ghoulish facsimile of a nurse.

It sounded more like she understood… something about her. Not unlikely that what it was, was the lengths she went to, to hide her unconventional features. Which to her, wasn’t much better.

As little as her answer told her, she couldn’t help but make herself smaller in shame.

Her cheeks felt hot, obviously not caused by fever this time.

She should have expected her to not question it, or even if she did, she should have made a simple excuse. It could have been as simple as saying she had a benign tumor. Why did she do this? Why does she do any of this?

“I-I mean…” she let out a frustrated scoff and stayed quiet for a second or two.

Eirin stole a glance of her looking around. It seemed like she was listening for something.

“...I’m not sure what to say. Or rather, how much I should tell you…” she admitted.

Eirin cautiously lifted her head, now finding that Miyuu is the one that dipped hers. 

She just noticed too that she was still holding the needle. After carefully putting it back to its case, she spoke again.

“...remember when I told you about how ever since I was small, I was expecting some big  change for when I turn 60?”

“I do.” 

The cogs in Eirin’s head began turning. She looked at her coworker with hope, or something akin to that.

“Well,” she continued, “I suppose I could say that we’re in the same boat.” 

Before the other could answer, she corrected herself. “No, no. Not the exact same boat… but… yeah.”

She shrugged and averted her eyes. 

“I wanted to be a man for as long as I can remember.”

Another bout of silence was broken by quiet shuffling. Tentatively, but Eirin sat just a little closer. 

The nurse’s expression was unreadable. Or rather, blank.

“I… didn’t know there were even other people who felt this way. I didn’t even know that others…, “he looked at her, “…would commit to it… I didn’t even know that was possible to do that.”

He went silent as his face turned melancholic, then back into his usual lighthearted self, “but… yeah, this… makes sense. Thank you for telling me.”

Eirin was grateful for the fortunate outcome, and yet… “wait…”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the other said firmly.

His gaze pierced her heart, but then he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, smiling. “I’m just saying you’re not alone. And that weirdos will stick together no matter what.”

An uncomfortable chuckle escaped her lips. she wasn’t happy to be reminded of her black sheep status.

Likewise, the nurse didn’t seem especially comfortable either. He pulled out a needle again, and through wordless mutual agreement, Eirin let herself be treated.

Despite the somber mood, Miyuu did his job well, like always. No matter what, he never seemed to let the quality of his work dip. If anything, this was a regular occurrence, and yet Eirin couldn’t help but appreciate it.

Gentle hands pulled the clothes from her body, exposing it to someone but her for the first time in a long while. The precise, careful placement of needles somehow stopped the atmosphere from being gloomy. Instead, it was like the safety of a metal box protected by key and lock.

While the needles did their jobs, the nurse sat with his head dipped, staring at his hands in his lap. Eirin watched him just out of the corner of her eye. 

She contemplated what he may be thinking. Maybe he too felt like he said too much. That he would come to regret not taking this to the grave with him. 

Or maybe he tried to make sure she wasn’t uncomfortable now that she knew she was treated by a man. 

Or he grieved that fact that she might not have even seen him as a man despite him baring his whole existence before her.

Perhaps he was simply tired from all the responsibilities Dr. Kimura keeps trusting him with.

But most likely all of it at the same time.

Such a situation would have never ended up having a decidedly positive outcome. Vulnerability like that always comes with risks, and yet, she was happy about her decision. At least she was.

When it was time to remove the needles, he didn’t even look her in the eye. But as much as he wanted to work with cold precision, his gentleness still shined through. 

As he was packing up his supplies, his voice finally broke the silence, “I can… arrange for you so that only I visit you from now on if that would make you more comfortable.”

It took Eirin a second to fully register what he just said. 

“I would be… endlessly thankful for that.”

He acknowledged her answer silently, the mood now tinted with an unspoken discomfort.

Eirin couldn’t let it linger. She’s not going to let him go like this. 

She sat up, the shuffling getting his attention.

For a second, she halted. Unsure of what to do now.

Sheepishly, she placed a hand on the nurse’s shoulder, “thank you”.

It was a relief when he gave her his usual smile, “of course.”

He then stood up and picked up the lantern before he left her to sleep. 

Well, almost.

“And if I see you outside your quarters one more time, kamisama help me, I’ll bound you to the ground,” he said, annoyed.

Eirin didn’t take it personally, she knew he was just concerned for her. The thought of which warmed her heart. 

“Of course.”

The light of the lantern was slowly dimmed by the layers and layers of partitions that separated the quarters, and yet its warmth never left Eirin as she was getting comfortable on her futon.

She thought about Miyuu for a while after that. How chivalrous he is… to sacrifice his own secrets for her. His level headedness… his resourcefulness. Now, his hardworking hands were strong, capable hands to her, his hairstyle was a boyish topknot and knowing smirk just served to make him that much more handsome. 

The fact that he was a man didn’t subside Eirin’s latent feelings towards him in the slightest.

And now, she was safe. She knew she would have no problem receiving the rest of the treatment, or being bathed from then on. 

In fact, she would have let him handle her most delicate parts if he asked.

As the thought was outlined in her mind, she realized how that sounded. She put a hand before her mouth to prevent even a slither of her thoughts slipping. Her cheeks grew warm once more as the thoughts fully materialized. 

She rolled on her side in her futon and pulled the blanket up to her nose to hide herself in embarrassment from no one in particular. Perhaps only from herself.

But laying under the blanket she was also, for the first time, content in the feeling that she was taken care of.  

Chapter Text

It must have been a month, maybe a little more, before Lead Body was practically snuffed out, and thus, Eirin and Reisen’s assistance was no longer needed. If there’s one thing the pharmacist of the House of Eternity was grateful for is that on Earth, no matter what, even instances like this come to an end eventually.

Even the tent that served as her home for the time being has grown somewhat homely in her mind. The things conditioning might do to a mortal… Or perhaps it was simply the fact that not a soul needed to be in a hurry all day anymore.

She too has fully recovered from the sickness without residue, in no little thanks to Miyuu’s care. An act which she was about to honor.

Eirin waited a little further away from camp, near the spring they used to bring water from. The morning sun turned the bamboo leaves bright green and the silence was only disturbed by the roll of water on stone.

In a short while, Miyuu arrived. He was still pulling at his clothes as if he just got dressed. The sunlight cast luminous rays of light on his ebony hair, turning it almost brown. In turn, his hazel eyes shone fiery orange.

“Well, here I am, what do you want?” he asked.

Seems like he’s even more blunt when he’s not fully awake. 

“Did I wake you?” Eirin chuckled. 

“Yeah, actually,” he rubbed his eyes.

“I apologize. I wanted to make sure no one else hears it.”

“Whatever,” he yawned and pulled a piece of paper from his sleeve. “Here you go, before I forget.”

Eirin raised an eyebrow, but then took it and tried focusing her eyes to read it. “I cannot wait to have my glasses…” she sighed.

Miyuu paused, “actually, that would explain your headaches.”

Not wanting to admit that it didn’t occur to her, she remained silent.

Finally, she started reading, her eyebrows furrowing more and more by the second. The other chuckled in the background with every line she read.

“I, Yagokoro, a being full of age and sounds in mind and melody do make, publish and make this to be my Last Bill and Testament…”

Half of all my belongings, material or abstract shall haunt you, dear princess. It is the least I can die. May is safe.

The second half of mine shall be stored in Reisen. The only person life and on this land on. Rocks may be in abundance, but she’s never lifted.” 

All of this was underwritten with what she could only describe as a crude drawing of a rabbit’s head.

“Wh… what is the meaning of this?” She turned to him unamused.

Laughter burst out of the nurse, which promptly made her turn red as a beet.

After he composed himself, he spoke. “You see, you had a high fever the day after you got sick. You thought you were going to die so you made Dr. Yagokoro write your will and testament.” He couldn’t hold it, he snorted by the end.

Eirin looked down in shame.

“What?” Miyuu laughed.

She gave him the cold shoulder, “I can’t believe that you had him write this down.”

He let out a little sigh “you weren’t going to rest without a will.”

“The correct procedure in this case is tranquilization," she said matter of factly.

“Yes. That’s what we did. Made you tranquil.”

Yet another reminder that they did not have the proper technology to deal with this mess. Whatever would have they done without her?

“I saved it because I wanted to cheer you up when you’re less delirious. I thought we could laugh about it,” he said sympathetically.

“Just… destroy it…” Eirin said, throwing the piece of paper back at him. “I don’t need a reminder of my weakness.”

“You were just sick! It happens to everyone.”

She looked away, hoping time would rid her of her blush.

A second later, he picked the paper off the ground.

“I’ll get rid of it, if that makes you feel better,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Please.”

“Sure thing,” he said, crumpling it up and hiding it in a pocket. “Sorry, I didn’t think it would be a sore spot.”

“Well, anyways…” Eirin sighed, then turned back to him.

“Right, you wanted something.”

Despite everything, warmth filled her body as she looked down at him. She swallowed, and for some reason, hesitated. Trying to ignore the unease caused by her sudden unwillingness, she spoke anyways the words that choked her up.

“I have… a proposition for you,” she said.

Miyuu lifted an eyebrow, then a smirk was painted across his face, “oookay. I’m listening.” 

She simply said it, not wanting harmful thoughts to poison her actions.

“Dr. Yagokoro developed a medicine for your ailment. You can take it and assume manhood on the outside as well.”

His eyes darted around in confusion for a second. “That’s… quite the change in topics, isn’t it?”

“I admit, it is. That said, the offer still stands.”

He looked thoughtful. Eirin figured that if he's half as uncomfortable in his own skin as she was, he would be rather tempted to accept it. But finally, he shook his head, “I somehow doubt that that’s even possible. Well, not without magic being involved I presume, and as far as I’m concerned, I’d like to remain a human, thank you very much.”

“You have seen me, haven’t you? I used to be a man and now my body has changed. You would be able to experience the same sensation. Well, in the opposite direction, obviously,” she insisted.

“Obviously,” he agreed. “You’re very kind for the offer, but I really can’t accept it. I… I worked hard to build up this life, I have people to take care of… you know.” He averted an uncertain gaze.

“Would you lose your life or would you lose nothing at all?” Eirin asked all of a sudden.

“...huh?”

“If you lost everything by being the real you, have you had anything to begin with?”

“Eirin…”

“Don’t think I didn’t account for such a thing to happen,” she smiled. “In which case, you’re welcome to stay at my home for as long as you want.”

Miyuu paused with a stoic gaze, “in the middle of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost.”

“Yes,” she said matter of factly, “as unnerving as it sounds, the House of Eternity is a place of safety and purity. In fact, if you wish so, you don’t have to lift a finger anymore for as long as you live.”

He narrowed his eyes, “I have no idea what you’re trying to do, but if we weren’t friends, I’d assume you’re trying to kidnap me.”

“Kidnap you?” She said, pique seeping through her words. “Well, I suppose it’s just natural for a human to assume so. However-”

“ For a human , you say…”

Eirin already opened her mouth to speak when she realized what she just said.

“I knew it.” Miyuu accused.

“Miyuu.”

“All this charade was all for you turning me into a youkai. I should have known that this sex change thing is just some youkai nonsense.” He accused angrily.

“ I am no youkai,” Eirin bit back.

“Oh really ?” Miyuu said in a mocking tone, “then what are you? Because you’re certainly no human either!”

“I am a human,” she said. 

“But you weren’t always one, were you?” He mocked.

Eirin furrowed her eyebrows. 

This slip up cost her everything. She has no comeback either. Humans need to protect themselves against what they perceive as youkai.

After a long bout of silence, he spoke again. His voice was dry. “Dr. Yagokoro has been saving countless human lives, whether he’s a youkai or not. I’m not telling Dr. Kimura about this, because I don’t want your Master’s name to be dirtied by your lies.”

He stepped closer, “but if you want to stay out of trouble, you better leave as soon as you can. I don’t want to see your face around humans ever again. Do you understand?”

Eirin lowered her gaze, “yes.”

With that, Miyuu took swift steps back to camp, leaving Eirin's sole companion to be the rushing water of the spring.

…

With all their work done, Eirin and Reisen were finally ready to depart.

They met up with Dr. Kimura for one last time. Eirin was lost in her thoughts, only vaguely hearing the doctor thanking Reisen profusely for her services.

Finally, he thanked her too for her work. All she did was give a bow to him, still bitter about the fact that he appreciated her keeping her head down more than what she contributed to actual research.

They were off very soon, but Eirin was still waiting for her assistant to bring her a special package from the Village.

She took one last glance at the nurses, her eyes somewhat reluctantly following her heart in looking for Miyuu. They found him disassembling part of the tent by himself, the other nurses forming groups further away from him. She couldn’t see his face, only his weary motions.

Eirin turned to face the path home with Reisen appearing by her side as soon as she turned. She never did look back. She wouldn’t have dared.

The rabbit placed the package in her hand, then they were off.

“Ahh, we’re free at last…” Reisen said, “I never want to see a ledger ever again in my life.”

Her voice, that she wasn’t able to hear in a while, gave her some comfort, but not enough for her to break her silence.

“I know, I know. Someone will have to do it,” she continued.

All Eirin could think about was the peace and quiet the mansion was built to offer. She will have definitely take at least a week off after all this. She was sure Reisen would be glad about this news too.

The rabbit spoke again, “you too look pretty exhausted, Master…”

“Let us just go home,” she sighed.

For a while there was nothing around them but the rustling of flora and the screech of cicadas drowning out birdsong. Among nature’s cacophony, Eirin couldn’t help but slip up in her thoughts. Life, which she was now supposedly a part of, was just passing by her.

“Master?”

“Yes.” The word fell considerably heavier than her previous ones.

“I… need to tell you someth-”

That moment, they heard hurried footsteps in the undergrowth. Eirin quickly readied a bow in its direction only to see who caused the commotion. It was none other than Tewi Inaba, their very own lucky rabbit.

“Woah! Woah!” She stopped suddenly, seeing bow and arrow pointed at her, “no time for practice now, boss! I bring bad news!”

Reisen groaned, “why do you always have to show up at the worst of times?”

“What, do you think I came running just because I felt like it?” The Earth rabbit gave her a proud smirk.

The moon rabbit on the other hand, gave her Master an unamused glance.

“Tewi, tell me what happened,” Eirin demanded.

“The House of Eternity is crawling with Lunarians and moon rabbits! No idea where they came from and how,” she explained.

“They found us…” Just as she feared. It was time for them to carry out evacuation plan 3. There shouldn’t be a problem, they practiced it countless times. Eirin looked to Reisen with determination. She nodded. 

As swiftly as they could, they made their way to the mansion.

From outside the walls, numerous people’s conversations could be heard. Strangely enough, they were just idle chats, not orders, nor the discussion of plans.

Still, she signed for Reisen to go ahead, and after that, she scaled the wall, silently making her way on top of the roof.

She slipped into one of the emergency exits that led to and opened directly into Princess Kaguya’s room from the ceiling.

She dropped down without a sound, but of course, her presence couldn’t be ignored.

“Oh. Hi, Eirin.” 

Kaguya was reading a book, unassuming. Until Eirin’s unexpected visit, that is.

“Princess!” She kneeled down before she gently, yet firmly grabbed her hand. “You need to come! It’s a siege! The Lunarian troops have made their way into the mansion!

“Ah…” 

To Eirin’s confusion, she looked thoughtfully in front of her, before taking her hand out of her grasp and standing up. She followed her lead.

“Okay, look… it’s not a siege.”

“...what?” Her question curled into a growl.

In the meanwhile, Reisen entered the room. From the movement of her shadows, It was as if she wasn’t trying to hide at all.

“They’re just refugees from the Moon and their rabbits. I allowed them to stay for a while until we figure out what to do.”

The other gave her a slow questioning blink. Judging by a mild change in facial expression, Kaguya knew well that she had to explain herself. And quickly, before the weight of her words completely settled in the doctor’s mind.

The rabbit sheepishly hung back.

With a deep breath, her calm and collected demeanor unchanged, the Princess continued, “Nobody’s in danger. It’s okay. They have connections with the kunitsukami here, they just need a jumping off point for now. They should be out of here in a week or so.”

For a moment that seemed like an eternity, Eirin stared at her. Her neutral expression, although it changed very little, it grew more intense as time passed.

She took a step towards her. The Princess inadvertently stepped back.

“Are you…” she began with an ominous whisper, “... completely out of your mind?! ”

Kaguya flinched.

“Do you have any idea what you have done?!” This time, there was no leash to hold her back; she has spent all her patience. Eirin stepped closer, eyes blazing.

Reisen stood between the two of them. Determined at first, but it didn’t take long before her Master’s gaze froze her in place. 

“The Lunar troops are already on our heels! Even if they weren’t, all this does is paint a target on our backs! All this to fulfill your childish wants!”

Kaguya tried to say something, but was cut off.

“How could you be so witless, so infantile so… “ her breath shook in fury” … selfish to do this to me?!”

“Master!” Reisen gasped in disbelief, snapping out of her frozen state.

“Why do you think I stayed?” Her voice grew hoarse at this volume, “I stayed for your protection. I stayed to right what I did wrong. And then you ruined it. You ruined me , YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! 

“Eirin-”

“I WISH I NEVER STAYED. ”

Stunned silence filled the room. 

It was as if she silenced the whole of nature around the mansion.

Grief began to distort Kaguya’s artificially calm expression. She swallowed, then one gentle caress on the rabbit’s back asked for her withdrawal. 

Reluctantly, she obeyed.

The Princess stepped closer to Eirin. Fearless of what’s to come, she spoke three dreadful words.

“So do I.”

Although fury already took her over, even more anger clouded her mind now. Now it was clear. Everything she sacrificed for her Princess meant nothing to her.

It never did.

Kaguya spoke sternly, “normally, I would banish you for your unacceptable behavior, but we both know well that this is actually your empire. Not mine.” 

Burning rage was spiked with confusion.

“Instead, I will go into exile.” She continued, “I will leave. Then, you can have your Pure Land all for yourself.”

“N-no…” Was she serious? She couldn’t have been. She had nowhere else to go. No place to stay, no one she knew… Surely, this is a trap! It must be! It has to be!

“I will.” The Princess stood firm, her voice weary, “I’m tired of you.”

“You can’t leave!” Kaguya flinched as Eirin’s rage suddenly turned into despair.

“I can, and I will," she bit back determinedly. All of a sudden, brilliant magic surrounded her. “Just try and stop me.”

Eirin was reluctant to fight, but she had no choice left. She summoned a bow in agreement.

Almost instantly, bullets flew towards her. She evaded them thanks to her fast reflexes. She then slipped through the emergency exit to take the fight outside. Luckily, Kaguya followed, along with no less than a hundred bullets.

After the warm-up came the main course. 

Kaguya’s spellcards were pretty self-explanatory; the bullets are either large and bright or small and dim. The job of the former was of course to distract from the latter. She may or may not throw in a homing bullet or two, or simply combine the homing and dim ones, but their structure and patterns were always simple enough. Eirin knew what to expect.

“Divine Treasure "Life Spring Infinity"!”

As she predicted, she let loose a handful of glowing stars followed by the bright flash of beams of light in the shape of the spokes of a wheel. No harm could come to her while she stayed between them and flew around the stars.

In a strange display of what Eirin assumed was powerplay, the Princess looked down at her with disdain from above as she was finding her through her patterns.

That does it.

With a flip, she jumped over the last of the bullets as time was up, and landed on the roof. She took a slip of paper from her sleeve and tied it onto her summoned arrow.

“Leading God "Omoikane's Device"!” She roared, and let go of the drawn arrow.

It whistled right past Kaguya’s ear, who didn’t move a muscle. She readied herself for a spell she must have seen dozens of times before. The first few bullets did begin to circle as usual, but shortly, they simply fizzled out.

The Princess’ eyebrows jumped in surprise, breaking the facade of stoicness she wore. She then looked at Eirin, hiding a chuckle behind her sleeve. “Do you want to try that again, Miss Omoikane?”

If the embarrassment of the situation wasn’t enough, Eirin’s cheeks now burned in rage. She stretched her summoned bow to its limits, her blazing eyes fixed on Kaguya.

Even the Princess took note of her weapon falling apart at the seams, spilling white sand on the shingles. In fact, the concern in her gaze softened into something more wretched. Pity.

“Alright, timeout!” 

Eirin blinked as she took to the edge of the roof and shouted down into the garden. “Does anyone have a bow and some arrows, please?”

Horrifyingly, she heard several people from down there. There must have gathered a crowd hearing the commotion. This is all she needed…

Although, grateful that she wasn’t directly seen, her embarrassment and frustration just grew, as the mistral bow completely lost its shape and spilled from her hands.

“Here.”

Princess Kaguya stood before her, handing her a weapon.

A simple peach wood bow and a quiver with arrows made of the same material as well as Lunarian metal. Something she ever used for practice countless millennia ago, when she still hadn't the power to even summon, except these ones were tainted by earthen smithing tools. She knew just by looking. 

Reluctantly, she accepted this insult of a weapon. She couldn’t believe it was coming to this. Her spectral arrows can be coordinated to burst on impact. These ones, on the other hand, were eager to rip into arteries with their teeth.

“I’ll make sure Reimu doesn’t know,” she said before she returned to where she stood before this hiccup.

Three arrows at the same time were aimed at her in a dry, calculated stoicness. They were let go with the same convict, and were dodged just as quickly.

From the edge of the left side of the roof, she leapt up in the air and shouted:

“New Impossible Request “Karuṇā”!”

A sensory overload of lights flooded Eirin’s vision as the crowd cheered below. She was too close, there was no way she would see the way out like this.

She slid down on the roof the crowd cleared, leaving her enough space to land. They kept ooh-ing and aah-ing from a distance as Kaguya too joined her on the ground.

As it turned out, the patterns weren’t actually easier to read from a distance and certainly not when she kept pursuing her. The dim bullets were like the 8 million stars above and they were all followed by tails of light beams, arrows, like dragons pursuing her in their wake. 

Certainly crowded and overwhelming, but not as impossible as its name suggests.

Eirin’s eyes finally saw through the oceans of light and she found her way among them accordingly, even if as it went on, more extreme bodily contortions were required. Still, at the break of the spell, she spun out from it untouched.

She landed panting, but not nearly done. 

Kaguya spoke as soon as her opponent readied the bow, “it’s over. You lost.”

“I dodged it without mistake, you could see so yourself,” she stated firmly.

The moment she uttered the final word, a small itch disturbed her left cheek. She attempted to shoo it away with her hand, but all that did was leave deep red stains on her fingers.

The sight of it turned the itch into pain, and strengthened its nonexistent smell into a pungent metallic odor. She felt her heart beat out of control, making the blood from the scratch spill over and trace her cheek. 

She swallowed.

“Eirin…?”

The voice of her Princess brought her back. She forced calmness on herself as she walked up to her and dropped the bow and the quiver at her feet.

"Fine. Do as you will." 

She turned heel and headed for the main building.

On her way, she didn’t care how many people she bumped shoulders first into or who they were. They didn’t seem to be especially bothered anyway, they simply let her be on her way.

The corridors were mercifully void of life and sound. She’s had enough of distractions. Of people derailing her life to their whims. Of her emotions leading her astray. She was thankful that she was able to slip into her room unbothered.

She threw the nurse uniform off herself like she rejected its existence itself. Her old clothes were waiting for her, neatly folded in the middle of her futon. As she grabbed at her dress, something slipped from its pocket.

It was a small white packet.

She threw an annoyed stare at the item, but then quickly went to pick it up from the ground.

As soon as she touched it, her fingers crushed something that laid within it. It made her pause. She then picked it up by one of its corners. She held it for a second before opening it, allowing its contents to spill into her palm. 

She remembered this particular packet, whatever is in it, was already long purified, it couldn't have meant harm.

What rolled out of it were burs, along with a fine powder that bore the same, now pure white color. She touched one with her thumb, but despite the gentle motion, it immediately turned to dust and got lost among the rest of the pristine particles.

Their clawed spikes weren’t spikes anymore, just growths resembling hair, but a hundred times as fragile as that. The embryo in them was long devoid of life.

"Master…?" Reisen's voice rang from the hallway all of a sudden.

Upon hearing it, Eirin collected the purified seeds onto a paper towel. She hesitated for a moment before letting it all fall into a bin.

She wasn’t at all in the mood to talk to anyone, especially not her assistant, but she still swiftly got dressed before she slid the shoji open. 

"I-I-I just came to check on y-" 

The rabbit was met with the leaden gaze of her Master, yet never averted hers. A moment later, she signed for her to enter.

Silence weighed on the room as they stood in the middle. 

She looked at her assistant with cold expectancy. "I suppose there's something you want to tell me."

Reisen opened her mouth to say something, but she was too caught off guard to say anything.

“You knew about all this, and instead of telling me, you enabled her,” she continued with a cold tone.

“Master…”

Eirin waited for her answer, she let her know through her eyes alone that she knows she cannot present an argument that would convince her otherwise.

The rabbit’s shoulders tensed, then drooped as she answered. “Yes. I did. But please, let me explain.”

She waited with a stern expression.

“Just… what has happened between you and the Princess?”

“Do not dodge the subject, Udonge.” She growled.

“No, I mean it,” she opposed. “I just… I just wanted you and her to get along again.”

“And you thought taking her side would be a means for that?”

“Y- I mean no… I mean-”

“My patience is wearing thin, you girl. Speak coherently if you want me to listen to you.”

“Ah, sod it, this needs to be dealt with.” Reisen took a deep, deep breath. As she breathed out, she put her palms against her face, reciting a short, muffled prayer.

Eirin lifted an eyebrow.

“Master,” she took another breath, “you need to compromise.”

Silence.

“The Princess won’t. I tried. I really really tried to convince her, but she just will not.”

“And I take it you were generous enough to take the first step towards that for me,” she said ominously.

At this point, Reisen grabbed both her ears, pulled them downwards and let out a loud groan of exasperation. “That’s not my point!” She raised her voice, “all I’m saying is that if you keep stubbornly adhering to the rules you’ve known your whole life outside Earth, no one will be happy around you on Earth! And you neither! On Earth! ”

“Don’t you raise your voice at me-”

“Please listen!” Reisen begged, “I’m tired of this! And for being scolded for being the only one trying to keep the peace in this house! Ever since you took those pills, everything flipped on its head and-”

SLAP!

The rabbit retreated to the nearest corner, her back against the wall, shaking. Her hands covered the right side of her face, only leaving an eye visible.

“I’ve heard enough,” Eirin said firmly. “Obviously, you’re unfit for service here if you behave like this.”

Reisen let out a momentary sound of despair.

“You have until tomorrow morning to pack up and leave.” She stepped closer, “do you understand?”

The rabbit gave her panicked nods before swiftly leaving the room, facing Eirin the whole time. She ran off, not even worrying if the door was closed.

It took a minute before the weight of the situation finally settled on Eirin’s mind. Now the silence she craved so much made her heart void of anything at all. 

Anything at all.

If only she was still herself, this void wouldn’t scream to be filled.

She knew well that standing by her principles would end in this, but this was all that she had left to stand for.

Her knees felt weak as she let herself fall to the ground and a sigh heralded the flowing of tears.

Chapter Text

Tired eyelids sluggishly gave way to blinding sunlight.

Eirin awoke as if she hadn't slept a minute. Her head was pounding, and lifting herself from the futon into the soothing shadow of the doorframe did nothing to alleviate that.

Along with the pain, came the memories of yesterday. Just as bitter as the moment they happened.

It can’t be helped , she thought. She needed to stick to her values, lest she’ll lose much, much more. Although she had a hard time coming up with anything of value she had left. After all she went through…

No use crying over spilt milk, though. She needed a bath as fast as possible.

After gathering her cosmetics not only did she find all bathrooms occupied, but the corridors busy and loud as well, unsurprisingly. Also unsurprisingly, she was granted no advantages as a filthy human from Earth.

As a last resort she checked the doctor’s office, relieved to find it empty. 

No wonder. Even the most Earth-loving of Lunarians are wary of impurities, which doctors’ offices have plenty of, even if kept as clean as possible. 

At the very least Eirin could use the patients’ showers, if nothing else.Thankfully, they’re hidden. Nobody would know she was even there if she didn’t make her presence obvious.

Although relative quiet and privacy granted her the privilege of thinking, this time it felt more like a curse. She couldn’t help but think about how much she fell from grace. First she lost her home, the Moon, then her amatsukamihood, her new friend, her assistant, even her Princess. All she had left was her mind and even that was unreliable, if not an actual hindrance. 

She knew she had to figure out what to do, but at this point, it was all too much. She thought of the time when everything still made sense. When she was the one everyone went to for advice and guidance. Nowadays, she’s dug herself so deep, she made so many mistakes, that the situation has reversed. She was the one desperately wanting to ask anyone for guidance, as ashamed as she was to even entertain the thought.

Eirin leaned against the wall behind her. She let out a shuddering breath as the water washed over her careworn face. Even that did more purification than she did for the last months…

“H-hello? Excuse me!” A familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts, “is Dr. Yagokoro in right now?”

There was a bit of silence before she spoke. “In a moment. Give me a second, please.”

“Of course, of course!” She audibly bumped into someone. Vigorous apologies were heard.

If nothing else, at least Eirin now had something to concentrate on. Something she can actually excel at for once.

…

“Excuse me for the wait,” she began, “as you can see we’re in a bit of an unusual situation .”

Youmu stepped into the office and bowed respectfully. “Yeah it is kind of strange seeing the mansion bustling with life like this, but I’m not exactly complaining.” 

Of course, you wouldn’t. “What can I help you with?”

“Right, um…”

Eirin moved a chair in front of the desk nearby, “please, take a sea-”. Just as she did, she noticed something, or rather, someone under the desk. A moon rabbit, idly reading a novel.

“...Reisen…?” Youmu asked, to which they responded with a confused look.

The doctor, although rather annoyed, put on her best face. “I can see that you’re comfortable down there, but we have important business to attend to right now.”

“Yeah, so?” Asked the rabbit.

“We want you to leave,” Eirin said firmly, this time.

They scoffed, “yeah sure. If you think a human will tell me what to do, you’re dead wr-”

“ I said, get out! ” Her voice was loud enough to create an echo.

“Eeek!!!” Thankfully, the rabbit scrambled to escape the office and in a second, no trace was left of them.

Eirin gestured for her patient to take a seat. She did so as well.

“I… guess that wasn’t Reisen, after all…” she almost sounded disappointed, besides kind of shaken up. “They looked just like her though.”

She put on her glasses. “Moon rabbits are not exactly manifold. If you know one, you know all of them,” she remarked dryly as she prepared one of her devices.

“Oh…”

“First things first…”

“Right, I have to blow onto the thingamajig,” Youmu said.

“Certainly…” There was no point repeating its actual name. She knew nobody would remember it anyways.

The patient took a breath and blew onto the bowl shaped device. As it was standardized, kegare-measuring devices collect impurities into a centerpoint, and then fill up a meter which translates the amount into easy to measure and categorize numbers.

“I’ve been getting sick in the morning,” Youmu confessed. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t get sick often, but before, it never happened every single day.”

“Mhm…” Eirin was taking notes, “have you went to bed with anyone who-”

“ N-no! ” Her embarrassment gave way to anger.

She sighed. “It was just a question, calm down, please.”

“Right… I’m sorry.” She looked away, “Lady Yuyuko has been teasing me about finding a good husband and being a good housewife and things like that all month…”

“I understand.” Certainly, dealing with the princess of the dead was a handful for anyone, especially an impressionable young woman like Youmu. 

In the meanwhile, the device has finished processing her impurities. Even despite her medical anxieties and hot-headedness, her kegare levels were at an all time low. Eirin inadvertently let out a sigh. 

“Oh. Have you found the problem?”

“Your body has few impurities,” she said in a detached tone. “How long have you been getting sick?”

“Well, since I took the uh… girl pills you gave me.”

“Hm.” Although it had a low chance of manifesting, her sensitive digestive system made it possible for this side-effect to occur. Unfortunate. She’ll have to wait a while for her to work out a cure. The medicine that made her a woman will remain in her body as long as she’s alive. Eirin took her notepad and started taking notes.

The patient’s voice broke the silence. “I… can’t get pregnant if I don’t go to bed with anyone, right?”

“There have been precedents for such cases, but I doubt it would happen to you,” she didn’t look up from her notes.

“...right. Because I’m not really a real woman, huh…?” Youmu trailed off, clearly disappointed.

Eirin paused, then looked up at her, even though her eyes were glued to the floor in embarrassment. She put her notes on the table. “You’re indistinguishable from people who were born women, and thus you are just as real as they are.”

She stayed quiet for a little while. “...somehow, even knowing that, I don’t feel like I am.”

Although Eirin had no answer, all frustrations were completely extinguished in her. All she felt was soft, somewhat comforting sadness as she looked at her left hand, resting on the desk, still barely less rugged than before she took that pill.

“Maybe Lady Yuyuko is right, and I have to become a housewife to feel like a woman,” Youmu mused. “But I can’t help it. The thought of getting pregnant makes me gag…” Suddenly, her eyes shined with a realization. “Hold on, am I getting sick every morning because my womb wants to hold a baby? Do my other organs know and hate the thought as much as I do and get nauseous? Are they going to destroy each other? Am I going to die???”

This train of thought utterly perplexed the doctor. In trying to find sense in it, she couldn’t help but laugh in the end.

“It’s not funny, sir!!!”

“It’s ma’am,” she retorted calmly, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “You’re going to be alright.” 

“Oh…”

After all was said and done, Youmu paid her handsomely for her help. Way more than what was asked of her. She was clearly grateful for her new self and the attention Eirin gave her.

She couldn’t let her go with nothing but the promise of eventual relief, and thus, she began to prepare something for her ailments until she worked out a proper solution. In place of Reisen, she was the one who had to make the pills. It slowed the process, but somehow she didn’t mind.

“...so… you too are…?”

“I have become a woman, just like you.”

“That’s… so great!” She tried and failed to contain her excitement. “I mean, you’re smart, and a healer, and an archer… while being a woman!”

“Well, you are a swordmaster, and if your master is to be believed you’re a skilled gardener as well.”

She looked away, “yes, but… those are gentlemen’s virtues… I mean, I love gardening, but…”

I too have a garden of my own,” Eirin said. “I could show it you sometime.” 

That moment, a loud holler could be heard, seemingly multiple people. Both looked up when they heard the unexpected noise.

“...once the mansion returns to being suitable for it, that is,” she sighed.

“Y-yeah, I’d love to see it!”

The doctor collected the finished pills, and put them into a neat package with instructions attached. “I’m sure you know at this point how this goes,” she handed Youmu the packet.

“Yes. Thank you so very much,” she stood up and bowed.

“I’m glad to be of help,” Eirin smiled.

Youmu smiled back. She then began fiddling with the hem of her skirt, “um, say… do you want to come to a party?”

She was taken aback by the sudden change of topics, “...a party?”

“Yeah, um. It’s nothing big or fancy, we just have fun at Marisa’s house. But her cooking is really good and she always has sake from the Hakurei Shrine.” There was a bit of silence, “it’s just that I owe you a lot and…”

Eirin eyed her for a second or two, then brushed a lock of hair behind one ear. The idea of a change of environment definitely appealed to her. It’s not like her services are needed here anymore either…“I’d love to go.”

“R-really?” Youmu’s eyes grew large.

“Of course,” she smiled. “Let us meet at the gates later.”

“Alright! Let’s do it!” 

…

In the late afternoon, the two met up where they agreed to, and began making their way to the Forest of Magic. Youmu was in even higher spirits than she was at the clinic.

Eirin didn’t have much to put on yet for such an occasion, she wore her usual clothes, but she wore a hairpin in place of her hat, and wore a little make-up. Not as much as she wanted, but more obvious lipstick and eyeshadow would have just accentuated her undesirable facial features.

“...so yeah, um, it really isn’t like a traditional party-”

“Yes, we’ve discussed that.”

“I’m just saying that you’re probably used to more, um, sublime? …parties. This one is like a sleepover, more or less,” she explained.

Eirin shrugged lightly, “we have to have new experiences sometimes.”

“Oh. Do Lunarians not have sleepovers, sir?” she caught herself, “shoot, sorry, I mean ma’am !”

“It’s fine, it doesn’t matter…”

“ Yes it does !” Youmu rejected, “it matters the world! ”

Suddenly, they heard rustling in the foliage right in front of them. In the blink of an eye, the slash of a sword was heard, faster than Eirin could summon a bow and arrow. As the various plants and fungi slowly fell away, the two braced themselves, ready to fight whatever was left alive.

The falling branch of something like a bush revealed a black pointed hat. “Wha…?”

They both blinked.

“Oh. It’s just Marisa,” said Youmu.

The magician pulled away another branch, “what a friendly welcome…” she snarked, making them lower their weapons.

“The friendliest a sneaky thief deserves,” Eirin remarked.

“Who? Me? I’m just foraging for dinner!” She pulled up a large, alarmingly brightly colored mushroom from the ground. A breath later, the upper half of its cap began sliding, and then, to Marisa’s annoyance, it fell. “Anyways, it’s been a while, huh, Eirin?” From her tone she was clearly wary of her. 

“It’s as if it was yesterday,” she said.

“From the looks of you, it must have been at least 50 years…”

“Marisa…!” Youmu scolded indignantly.

As soon as the magician said those words, she looked like gears in her head were turning. As for which gears exactly, Eirin had a couple of guesses.

“If you’re being rude, we’re not coming to your party,” she continued.

“Wait what? You’re headed there? Both of you?”

“You sound very surprised,” said the half-phantom. Her partner could say the same, though for completely different reasons.

“Eh, whatever. As long as she doesn’t clean my house. The other day Alice did and now I can’t find anything.”

“I’ve had enough of that for a while, thank you very much,” Eirin said.

Marisa made a face, “uh-huh… welp, see y’all later.” With that, she disappeared into the forest.

The two looked at each other, then Youmu began walking, “this way.”

Eirin knew where Marisa’s house was, but the swordmaster was a lot more in her element when she could guide a person of higher rank than her. A state that benefited both of them.

Their destination wasn’t too far off either. In less than 10 minutes, they found themselves at a messy clearing that seemingly struggled to keep the plants and fungi at bay. 

At one edge of it stood the house, western style and whimsically colored and tiled, much bigger than anyone unfamiliar with it would expect. In front of it was an overgrown garden of sorts with unusually large gourds of various genuses. 

Right in front of it was an old table where someone in a blue dress was slicing vegetables with what looked like fairies were bustling around her. Upon approaching her, it became apparent that they were intricately made dolls.

“Hi, Alice,” Youmu greeted her.

She turned her head, looking quite annoyed. Notably, her eyes looked irritated. “Good afternoon. Oh. Greetings, doctor.”

“Good afternoon,” Eirin said. The next moment, the fumes of the onions she was chopping made her take a step back. “I have a feeling, you’ve lost a bet.”

She let out a dry chuckle, “sharp as always.”

The half-phantom looked like she was devising a plan. “You know, if you hold that bowl in perfect 45 degrees, I might just be able to cut those onions for you.”

“I don’t think it’s necessary,” Eirin said, hoping she didn’t need to waste a protection ward to stay clear of stray unrestrained sword slashes.

“It might be,” Alice sniffled, “these are no ordinary onions.”

“You’d think the ordinary magician has ordinary onions…” Youmu pondered.

“She grows ordinary magical onions, that is to say, really bloody sulfurous ones.”

The pharmacist thought a little while about what the optimal solution could be, before the youkai continued, “they won’t kill me, don’t worry. Go sit down inside, it’s about to rain anyways. I’ve got some snacks in there.”

“Are you sure?” Eirin asked.

“My make-up is painted on and yours isn’t, that’s all I have to say about that.”

“Thanks, Alice,” the other bowed slightly.”

“No problem.”

The wooden door creaked open, revealing more of a treasure trove of various items of wildly ranging value than a living space. Books were stacked as tall as the ceiling let them be, every lamp, hanger and gas line was adorned with some sort of tacky fabric, necklace or amulet and no shelf was left empty of books, statuettes, decorative ceramics and occasionally, old rusted blades.

It truly was homely, in the sense that the fireplace gave everything a warm tone, even though what was there had no rhyme or reason aesthetically. The ornate rugs of various origins and the chandelier that was seemingly hand-made out of broken pieces of glass was just the cherry on top.

“Is this what Marisa calls ‘clean’?” Eirin asked.

“I guess not, she did say she didn’t like when Alice cleaned up.”

She couldn’t make heads or tails as to why someone would enjoy living in such disorganized space. Regardless, she helped herself to the sofa with the snacks on the table in front of it. Just various seeds and dried fruits mixed together, but they were surprisingly delicious.

Youmu was browsing the shelves nearby, but she looked wary of actually opening any books. A tremendous roar of thunder made her reach for her sword, then as soon as she realized what it was, she sheepishly pretended like she was just straightening some creases in her skirt. 

The door opened to pouring rain and a soaked youkai cursing the Heavens for its very existence. 

“That storm did come really quickly…” Youmu remarked.

“Never doubt my migraines,” said Alice on her way to the kitchen. “If I knew you were this hungry I would have brought two bags of trail mix.”

Eirin pretended like she had nothing to do with its disappearance.

The front door creaked open once more, and a soaked, dirty Marisa entered with a large basket of mushrooms on her back. “Marisa enters,” she said, expecting a positive response.

Everyone else looks at her either mildly confused or unamused. 

“We’re chuffed to bits,” the youkai replied dryly in the end, finally entering the kitchen, onions in hand. Her dolls followed her carrying even more chopped vegetables.

“Thought so,” Marisa grinned, then let the heavy basket make a soft but substantial thud on the ground. “Can someone sort and clean the mushrooms while I change?” Without waiting for an answer, she slipped between a lamp and a tower of books, behind a bead curtain, then up some stairs they had no hope of seeing among the clutter.

“I’m not exactly in the know about mushrooms, so…” Youmu admitted awkwardly.

“Yes, I wanted to take a look at them myself in the first place,” Eirin said. She took the bag, a pair of rubber gloves from her sleeve, and began to look through them on the small corner of the table that was void of anything at all. 

East Asian death cap, angel wing, false parasol… fly agaric… She had the sneaking suspicion that she wasn’t supposed to sort them according to which ones are edible and which ones aren’t. “Am I to sort them by what toxin they contain?” She yelled upstairs, sarcastically.

“Just put the same ones in the same pile!” The witch’s voice echoed from upstairs.

She looked at Youmu, concerned.

“Don’t worry, ma’am, if I never got sick from her cooking, you won’t either,” she reassured.

After a couple of minutes, a series of thuds on the stairs heralded Marisa’s arrival. She burst out from behind the chain curtain in nothing but a shirt and bloomers. “Sorry, all my skirts are in the wash. Hope you don’t mind.”

Eirin wouldn’t have, but something she would in no circumstances have liked to voice caught her eye. Unfortunately for her, Marisa took notice.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” her tone was lighthearted.

“Forgive me for staring,” she felt her cheeks growing hot in embarrassment, “I just didn’t expect you to…”

“...have the best of both worlds?” She stood proud, “yeah I get that a lot.”

A snort sounded from the farther end of the room. “...my God…”

The magician pointed at her, “you laughed! You did!”

“Shut up,” said Alice quietly.

“You can’t deny it, I have witnesses!” She insisted.

The youkai shook her head with a smile she tried to hide. She brought what looked like a laundry basket and began wringing water out of her hair.

Marisa turned back to Eirin, “anyways, yeah, I’m a self-made woman. Now you know!”

“Is… that what it’s called?” the doctor raised an eyebrow.

“That’s what I named it! Though Sumireko called me a ‘tiger agenda’ and said that that was ‘based’. It felt like that was a compliment, I’unno.”

“Toransujenda,” Alice corrected.

“Huh?”

“Transgender.”

Marisa paused, “...that doesn’t make more sense to me than tiger agenda, sorry.”

“Fair enough.”

“Like a transformed genre?” Youmu asked. “Like genre of person?”

“No clue. I should ask her when she stops being obsessed with cemetery logging.”

Eirin interjected, “that is to say, you transformed your own body to fit your wants?”

“Yep!’

“And you wanted to keep your genitals as they were.”

“Yep!”

The answers made her think for a second, “it is your body, after all.”

“Sure is!”

“And for the record, I don’t judge.”

“I figured.”

“But aren’t you concerned with how others may perceive you?”

Marisa let out a loud and drawn out scoff, “what are they going to do, change me back? I'd like to see them try.”

“That wasn’t my point,” she defended with a raise of her hand, “humans are a social species. You rely on the approval of your species to survive, normally, aren’t you?”

“The thing is, Marisa isn’t normal,” Alice narked.

Marisa opened her mouth to disagree, but quickly changed her mind, “you know what, that’s fair. But what I wanna say is that I’m friends with like three humans and like fifty youkai so who cares? I did it for me and I’m happy this way. Take it or get master sparked.”

Eirin blinked as she came to a realization. She never thought about her own femininity this way; as a means of achieving happiness, as opposed to escaping pain. 

What was there to femininity even that didn’t pertain to others’ approval? She found that she had no answers, but maybe, just maybe, now she may find some. Some that didn’t involve reversing the effects of the pill.

“Youkai just have no rules about things like this, yeah,” Youmu said. “It makes talking to oni so difficult…”

“Do oni have different sexes at all?” Alice pondered. “Kasen is obviously female but she only used to be an oni if I recall correctly…”

“I dunno, but humans are the only ones who are so strict about it. And yeah because of that, if you become strictly a man or a woman that means you acquire humanity either wholly or partially,” Marisa explained. “This goes for kami and stuff too, not just youkai. Though I’m not really a religious scholar, I’m sure Lord Yagokoro knows more about this than me,” she said mockingly politely.

If you become strictly a man or a woman that means you acquire humanity either wholly or partially… Now it all made sense. All that kegare she acquired… a good portion of it stemmed from her own newfound humanity. How could she not see it? Perhaps due to the desire to reject Earth she rejected the idea of her own humanity. Dare she say, herself.

Youmu poked her in the side which startled her awake from her train of thought. She shrugged at her with attentive eyes as if to ask something. Knowing exactly the subject of her concern, she nodded.

As if she gained power from her approval, Youmu spoke up. “Actually, it’s Lady Yagokoro.”

“You found yourself a new master I see,” Alice mocked.

Marisa laughed, “yeah it’s like you imprinted on her like a duckling.”

“Bullies, the lot of you,” Eirin scolded, seeing the swordmaster's face turn red.

“She’s fun to make fun of, what can I say?” The witch said, then suddenly grabbed Eirin’s hand and shook it up and down. “Welcome to womanhood, doctor.”

Eirin wasn’t sure what to make of that, but expressed her thanks under her nose anyway, while trying to rub away the pain the human’s surprisingly strong grasp had on her hand.

“Did I do it right, Alice?” 

“Justifying why you bully Youmu or shaking hands? Either way, no.” She put down the basket, “you’re a little late with those congratulations too, it’s been a while.”

“First of all, you’re also a bully and second of all… huh? You knew about it? Do stuck-up people have a club somewhere or something?” Marisa half-joked.

Both Eirin and Alice were unamused.

“I have my eyes connected to my brain, that’s all,” the youkai said in a flat tone. “She’s had long hair for as long as we knew her.”

“Yeah okay, does having short hair make you a man, then, Alice?”

“My hair is short in a feminine way,” she retorted.

It was a relief to Eirin that even that is enough for some people to perceive her as a woman. Even if the logistics of it were flawed.

Marisa and Alice were debating for a good while before they finally gave up in exchange for enjoying warm stew and sake together.

When drinks were poured did the house begin truly feeling like a home. The fragrance of the dinner filled the room, and it was as if it colored the interior with its own shade of warmth. Its taste was but the crowning jewel, especially with such good sake.

Perhaps thanks to it, although Eirin was surrounded by others she felt no need to serve nor be served. Talk was collaboration, not exchange of goods.

It didn’t take long either for Alice to feel so at home that she considered it her bed to fall asleep in.

The only one who seemed to drink in moderation was Youmu. She looked ready to be the one who knows the way home in case Eirin didn’t. And she did really feel like she didn’t. 

Shame washed over her when she slowly came to that realization, but it dissipated quicker than it arrived. Nothing weighed on her shoulders, maybe for the first time in her life.

Just then, a hand began reaching for one of the full sake bottles nearby. Suddenly thinking quick, Eirin snatched it before it was gone to Heavens know where.

“Someone’s enjoying Earth sake a bit too much, isn't sheee?” A voice that made everyone in the room groan echoed before she poked her nose out of the gap.

“Sezz you,” slurred Marisa, “like Reimu didn’t just put a… uh warding talisman on her sake storaggge.”

“Seems like it had no use,” she chuckled.

“Hao dare you ?!” The witch cast a spell at the youkai, but it only made the star-shaped magical blades slice up the painting in front of which she once was. Marisa cursed at her before clumsily getting up for more stew.

Eirin watched, distinctly feeling nothing filling her mind. When suddenly, a tower of books fell, narrowly missing her, it made her heart race. 

“Owww…” another voice spoke, “Yukariii, you dropped meee…”

“L-Lady Yuyuko?!” Youmu asked, shocked.

Yukari appeared again, right in front of the ghost princess, “you did ask me to drop you off… ehehe...”

“Shoo! Bad!” Yuyuko batted her away with her fan. She then looked to Youmu, “my my, I can’t believe you’re switching allegiances after all this time!” Her tone of voice was difficult to read, but most likely lighthearted.

“There’s no way, Lady Yuyuko,” Youmu sprang to bow before her, “I’m just… she was… and I… and then You-”

“She waaas…? And youuu…?”

Eirin intervened, “that isss no way to treat your subjects,... printsess of the dead.”

She put her fan before her mouth and replied with pretend conceit, “I treat them however I please, brain of the Moon. And right now,... I wish to tease them a little.”

Youmu let out a quiet groan.

“Thouuugh… you…” she floated close enough that she could feel the cold emanating from her incorporeal body, “...have changed a little.” She spoke with a playful, curious tone.

She didn’t know how to answer, not when she was inches away from her.

A hand on her shoulder startled her, “indeed… How curious…”

“Ughhh, get a room you three… we’re eatin’ and drinkin’ here,” Marisa remarked grumpily.

“...huh?” Youmu looked confused. “I mean they came for the drinks and food too, no?”

“Looks like, uh, they had a buncha’ those already,” Marisa remarked, rolling her eyes.

Yuyuko looked at Eirin, knowingly. “We did, Youmu, buuut…”

The gap youkai traced her jawline with one finger, “we’ll leave you be in exchange for this human .” It made her cheeks burn.

“If she agrees,” it felt like the ghost princess practically phased through her, “riiight, Yukari?”

“Whaaa? You can’t just eat her!” Youmu exclaimed.

The spirit and the youkai chuckled, making Eirin frantically eye the two of them. Somehow information reached her mind really slowly now, but eventually, she understood her situation. “I… I’ll be fine…” she said, finally. “You shall have your fun, I shall have mine.”

She had no idea what exactly made her say that. Her thoughts were way too scrambled and tainted with dozens of desires, both selfish and just.

“Oh…” she sounded defeated, “well then… thank you ma’am. For everything.”

Somehow the sadness in her voice made Eirin mournful as well. That was, until she was pulled into a dark space, smelling of strong perfume, alcohol, and the pillars of creation.