Work Text:
Chuuya wonders what he would dream of.
He knows Dazai has nightmares sometimes. He’s there to see, though they never really talk about them. He doesnt know if there are nights were Dazai dreams of happy things, things that seem impossible to both of them. You can’t be happy in the Port Mafia. Your chance of it is taken from you the moment you are dragged into it. Or, in Chuuya’s case when you bow down to the boss with your precious hat in your hands and swear loyalty to the man.
So yeah. Chuuya can’t dream.
Dazai, the know-all bastard that he is, knows that.
He didnt mean to open this part of himself to the man. Truly. It was an accident. There was an ability user who could manipulate one’s mind into believing they were living in their most desired dreams by touching them. They were given a choice, if they wanted they could be put back in the real world or live in their dream. When push came to shove, most people went for the latter.
The ability user was shocked to see her power not having an effect on Dazai. That was normal. That was their plan. Surprise the woman by using Dazai then Chuuya can do his Chuuyaness and eliminate her. Easy peasy.
However, that took a turn when the woman saw Chuuya’s kick, sidestepped it and managed to touch him. There was a second long pause before she was crushed by the force of gravity. “Ah, right.” Chuuya thought. He can’t dream so her ability wouldn’t have an effect on him either. Right. He foolishly hoped that this wouldn’t be the case, that this would be an exception. He should have known better.
He tried not to look bothered by this interaction but he could see the look Dazai was giving him. Damn it. He didn’t want that damn mackerel to get all suspicous over this.
Once again his wish was not granted. The whole drive to the cheap ass motel Mori got them for the night, the pair didn’t say a word. That was unusual of them. At this point usually Chuuya would be threatening to drive the car into a lake if Dazai didn’t, in his words, shut the fuck up.
They got to the motel, changed their clothes and got into their own separate beds. Two hours without a single word and Chuuya couldn’t take it anymore. They were eventually gonna talk about this so might as well just say it.
“I can’t dream. It’s about being created at a lab I guess… So that’s it, okay? That’s the deal.”
He sighs, pulling the blanket over his shoulders. “So you can just stop staring at me with your fishy eyes.”
There are some rustle in response, Dazai seems to be laying down as well. “You’re facing the wall Chuuya, you wouldn’t know if i was looking at you, which I am not.”
Oh he is, he can feel it.
“I can feel it you asshole.” He shouts. There are some more rustle as Dazai stands up from the bed he just got in and walks over to Chuuya’s bed.
“Chuuya is stupid. Scooch now doggie.” Not expecting this Chuuya turns and looks at Dazai with a face akin to surprise.
“I’m not a dog. What are you doing-DAZAİ GET OFF!”
Dazai succesfully places himself between the wall he was just now facing and him. “Chuuya wouldn’t scooch over so I had to find a way.”
Irritated by this Chuuya huffs. “Whatever asshole, just don’t snore directly into my ear like the last time.” He doesn’t know when sleeping in the same bed became normal for them. He is not exactly complaining though. It’s nice. Knowing someone has your back at any point during the night, knowing there is a warm body instead of the usual coldness Chuuya always seem to surround himself with. It’s nice.
So he doesn’t complain about Dazai’s presence. Just closes his eyes and hopes that the conversation is over, that he gets to sleep and when the morning comes he can pretend nothing had happened. That the ability user must have been distracted from another thing and that’s how Chuuya got to her.
Dazai, on the other hand has other plans.
“What’s the big deal?”
Chuuya opens his eyes. Dazai’s are already fixated on his.
“So what? You can’t dream. That saves you the trouble of having nightmares and any false hope of what would it be like to live another life.” He thought about that. He agreed on that too, but the point is he wants that. He wants the hope and the pain and every other feeling he can think of that is caused by dreams. He wants to experience them. Every other human on earth gets a chance. Why can’t he be like them? Why can’t he be more human? He is so tired.
Dazai’s eyes close. “You can have my dreams if you’d like.”
...
“That’s so stupid Dazai. You’re dreams are the worst.” At first he mind slaps himself, thinking that was a bit harsh. Dazai doesn’t look bothered by it though.
“I can make up dreams for you if you’d like.”
That..Chuuya doesn’t know what to say to that. “What do you mean?”
“It’s easy, just tell me a place and a time and I will make up a story.”
Sensing his hesistance Dazai continiues. “It can be anywhere you want Chibi, just pick one.”
So he says the first thing that comes to mind. “I like the port when it’s dark, it’s quite.”
Dazai sighs. “Of course you would choose the most basic thing ever. Making me really work for it.” He mumbles the last part but Chuuya hears. At some point he must have moved, they are a lot closer than before.
“Oi, you were the one that said-“
“Yeah yeah I know. Now shut up and let me think.”
For the next twenty minutes, Dazai tells a story about a dog and a fish playing hide and seek in the containers by the docks. Though he says, once more that he is not a dog; Dazai replies with:
“It’s a dream Chuuya. You can be anything.”
Dazai is being really nice for once in his life so Chuuya doesn’t press the issue longer.
It’s nights like these that he can pretend the connection between them is more than just a partnership. Just for a while they’re closer and just for a while Chuuya dreams.