Archive of Our Own ^beta

“You want to take me on a weekend getaway… to a winery… for Valentine’s weekend?” Eddie clarifies, his mind spinning as he thinks of a weekend away with Buck, just the two of them.

“I got the weekend deal for free, Eddie! We have to go.”

Eddie has never cared much for Valentine’s Day, and he cares about it even less now that he is perpetually single. He could care about Valentine’s Day, he thinks, if he could share it with the person he truly wants to share it with. But that’s not going to happen, not in the way he wants.

Buck had saved a woman from choking while he was picking up dinner to bring back to Eddie’s place from a nearby restaurant, dropping their meal to jump in and perform the Heimlich Maneuver. Turns out, the woman owned a winery in Paso Robles, and she offered Buck an all-inclusive weekend at the Bed and Breakfast on the property – including the couples Valentine’s package.

“But” Eddie protests. “It’s meant for couples,” he says cautiously.

“C’mon Eddie, that just means we’ll get spoiled to extra wine and deserts and maybe be upgraded to a nicer room with a complimentary bottle of champagne,” Buck argues.

Eddie knows he won’t be able to say no to Buck, not with the way his eyes are shining with excitement at the prospect of a weekend trip. But he can’t help but to think this is too close to the real thing, too close to what he wants so badly.

Buck is looking at him with so much hope as he waits for Eddie’s response, and Eddie is powerless against those blue eyes. What’s the harm in pretending for a weekend?

“Okay,” he gives in. “Let’s talk to Bobby about taking that weekend off and I’ll see if Chris can spend it with Tia Pepa.”

The smile that spreads across Buck’s face makes it all worth it.

The rolling vineyards pass them by as they get closer to their destination. The scenery is no doubt beautiful, but Eddie’s gaze is constantly drawn back to where Buck sits in the driver’s seat, telling Eddie about Paso Robles.

“Did you know there are forty-one thousand acres of vineyards in the region? And over two-hundred wineries!” Buck says excitedly.

“I did not know that” Eddie replies, smiling as Buck continues to share fun facts about the process of growing grapes and making wine. Eddie has always been more of a beer person, but he thinks he could be a wine person if that means he gets to hear Buck talk about it like this.

They pull into the winery, a charming stone building nestled into the surrounding hills of grape vines. The Bed and Breakfast is connected to the tasting room and cellar, giving the place a cozy and welcoming feel.

Eddie almost mourns the loss of proximity to Buck as they step out of the car but doesn’t have time to dwell on it as an older woman comes out of the building to happily welcome them to her vineyard.

“Angela!” Buck exclaims, wrapping the older woman in a friendly hug.

“I’m so happy you could make it,” she says kindly, smiling at the two of them. “Buck told me he didn’t want to make a big deal out of the holiday, but the least I could do is make the weekend special for the two of you. Let me show you to your room.”

Eddie spares a glance at Buck and notices a blush creeping to his cheeks. Angela most likely thinks they’re a couple. Great. He feels his own blush start to rise when Buck doesn’t correct her.

“Take it from me, these kinds of weekends get more important as you get older, take advantage of them while you can,” she tells them, leading them through a hall and stopping to unlock one of the doors. “So, why don’t I leave you two love birds to get comfortable, and whenever you’re ready you come on down to the tasting room for some wine and dinner.”

She opens the door for them, stepping aside. “Take your time,” she says with a wink. Eddie feels the heat rush to his cheeks at the implication, trying not to think about what this weekend could be like if they were truly together. Buck thanks her, and they step into the room together.

The room is cozy and rustic, with timber rafters supporting the ceiling A large glass door opens up to a balcony with a view of the vineyard, heavy white curtains framing the doorway. The wooden headrest of the bed is pushed up against a wall of exposed stone, giving the room an authentic countryside feel.

The bed. The one bed. Eddie’s eyes get stuck on it and he freezes in his spot, trying not to let his reluctance show on his face.

“Uh – ” Buck starts. “I did not think of this,” he admits, sounding much too casual for the anxiety Eddie feels. “I can ask Angela for a second room, or I can ask for a cot or air mattress or something.”

Eddie thinks of the deal they’re getting this weekend, everything they’re getting to do for free, and feels horrible asking for more. “No!” he exclaims, surprising even himself. He clears his throat.

“No,” he says again, more calmy. “Angela has done enough for us, it’s not a big deal if we share, right?” he asks, hoping he sounds casual and unperturbed.

Buck is silent for a second too long. “Right,” he replies. “Not a big deal.”

Buck walks around to claim the left side of the bed while Eddie takes the right, and it feels so natural. Quietly, they unpack their necessities from their duffle bags, sparing an occasional glance at the other.

“I guess we should probably change for dinner,” Buck says, indicating at the joggers they both wore for the drive. “Besides, it is a Valentines dinner,” he adds with a smirk.

“It’s not Valentines until Tuesday, Buck.”

“Come on Eddie, we’re getting spoiled to a fancy dinner. I think that counts,” he says, digging through his duffle bag for a change of clothes. Eddie doesn’t point out that they would need to be dating for it to technically count as a Valentine’s dinner.

Eddie feels his mouth go dry when Buck comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered and ready for dinner. His black jeans hug his thighs, the buttons of his light blue button up threatening to pop with how tight it stretches across his chest. Eddie suddenly feels underdressed, having settled for a maroon sweater and dark jeans.

Buck looks him up and down before saying, “You clean up nice.”

Eddie swallows, eyes caught on the way Buck’s shirt accentuates his biceps. When he reaches Buck’s face, he’s smiling at Eddie, the blue of his shirt dull compared to his bright eyes.

“Yeah, you too,” he breathes, unable to formulate anything more.

They break into the complimentary bottle of champagne before heading down for dinner, sitting on the balcony and watching the sunset over the vineyard.

“You have to admit, this is a pretty sweet deal,” Buck says, a smile in his voice. They clink their glasses in a cheers to their weekend away and sip their champagne, the bubbles doing nothing to ease the butterflies in Eddie’s stomach.

A chill sets into the air once the sun goes down, but they continue to make easy conversation, just as they always do. Eventually they pour themselves another glass, telling themselves that champagne isn’t good after it sits too long so they shouldn’t waste it.

“So, uh, I was thinking,” Buck starts after a moment of comfortable silence. “Angela thinks we’re dating. An uh, probably everyone else here will probably think that too.”

Eddie feels frozen in place, unable to look at Buck or open his mouth to speak. His heart hammers against his chest, afraid that he’s been too obvious, afraid that this weekend will wreck him, wreck them. That Buck is about to let him down easy, tell him what Eddie has always known; that Buck would never fall for a guy like Eddie, could never see Eddie as anything more than a friend. So instead of saying anything, he just nods and continues to stare straight ahead, waiting for the words to come.

“So, I thought maybe – what if we just let them think that?”

Eddie’s brain comes screeching to a halt and he finally turns to face Buck, who’s looking back at him with uncertainty in his eyes. Eddie opens his mouth to say something but can’t find the words. Buck wants to pretend to be dating. He wants to pretend to date Eddie.

“I mean, it just makes sense,” Buck continues, starting to ramble. “We’re already so close, it won’t be that hard – it’s not like they’re going to take any more convincing. We just wouldn’t be denying it, then we get to reap all the benefits. It wouldn’t even be considered lying –”

“Okay,” Eddie agrees, cutting Buck off. In the back of his mind, Eddie knows it’s a bad idea, that giving himself a taste of what it could be like will only end in disaster. But Eddie is a weak, weak man.

“O – okay?” Buck asks, as if he wasn’t expecting Eddie to agree so easily. Doesn’t Buck know that Eddie would follow him anywhere?

“Okay,” Eddie confirms. “I trust you, Buck.”

Buck’s eyes soften and his mouth hangs open in surprise. “Okay,” he says again, quieter than before. “Let’s do this.”

Dinner is a quiet and intimate affair evidently planned to serve as a romantic evening for couples who are madly in love.

The lighting is dim, allowing the candles on the table to illuminate their space. Eddie raises his eyebrows at Buck, who looks just as surprised at the extravagant arrangement. The candlelight flickers in Buck’s eyes, capturing Eddie’s gaze throughout the entire evening.

They’re served a three-course meal, each plate paired with a different wine from the vineyard. They take their time, enjoying every bite and every sip, trying not to think about how much this meal would cost them if they weren’t here on a special invite from the owner.

They lean in close to talk in hushed voices so as not to be heard by other couples surrounding them. Given their own unconventional story as a “couple,” they begin to joke with each other, making up stories for the other people in the restaurant. Buck makes up a ridiculous backstory about the woman at the table near the window, and the two of them try to muffle their laughs behind their hands, aware that they’re probably disturbing other people’s meals. And as much as Eddie wishes this weekend were real, that they were eating this meal as a true couple, he can’t help but feel so goddamn happy as he laughs inappropriately in this fancy restaurant with his best friend.

Their evening ended with a delicious dessert wine paired with a slice of tiramisu. Eddie grumbled about having to share a dessert but was secretly happy when their forks constantly battled for the next bite. Afterwards, they made their way back to the room, full of good food and loose limbed from the wine.

It’s not until they take their turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed that Eddie is reminded of their sleeping arrangements. He forces himself to take deep breaths as he changes into his pajamas, telling himself that it’s no big deal. He’s already in way over his head this weekend, sharing a bed isn’t even the biggest of his worries.

Buck uses the bathroom after him, and Eddie climbs into his side of the bed and checks his phone. He smiles at the pictures his aunt sent him of her and Chris cooking dinner and dessert together, Christopher’s smile wide and flour smattered across his cheek.

The bathroom door opens and Buck steps out in his own pajamas. Eddie feels his heart stutter at the sight, this time because of how soft and inviting Buck looks like this. Like Eddie could just crawl right into his arms. Like home.

“Chris okay?” Buck asks, climbing into the other side of the bed. He lays on his side to face Eddie, his face cushioned into his pillow. Eddie rolls to his side to get a better look at him, breath catching when he realizes how close they are.

“He’s good. Having the time of his life with Tia Pepa,” he says, happy that Buck wants to hear about Christopher’s day just as much as he does.

Buck must hear something in Eddie’s voice, because next he says, “You miss him.”

Eddie huffs a laugh, not surprised that Buck didn’t even need to ask, he just knows. “How’d you guess?”

A small smile tugs at Buck’s lips. “Because I miss him too.”

It takes all of Eddie’s strength to not reach across and pull Buck into a kiss right then and there. Unfortunately, he doesn’t think such a reaction would be welcomed. He swallows it down, nodding in understanding instead.

“Well let’s take advantage of this weekend and we can tell Chris all about it when we get back. You, me, and Chris for movie night as soon as we’re back,” Eddie tells him, hoping Buck will stick around for the rest of the weekend even after their trip is over.

“That sounds perfect, Eddie,” he says quietly, smiling wistfully.

For a moment, only the sound of their breath fills the quiet space between them as they look back at one another. Buck is so close, and it would be so easy to reach out and pull him in, closing the gap between them. So easy to wrap his arms around him and hold him tight, to let him know that Eddie will never let him go. But fear keeps him in place, his head resting on the pillow as he looks into Bucks blue eyes, deep and alluring in the darkness.

The air suddenly seems heavy between them, Eddie aware of Buck’s every breath, of the heat of his body under their shared covers.

“We should get some sleep,” he whispers, breaking the moment.

Buck clears his throat, eyes darting away from Eddie’s.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, let’s get some sleep,” he agrees, rolling onto his back. “Goodnight, Eddie.”

“Goodnight, Buck.”

Eddie wakes slowly to the morning sun filtering through the curtains, instantly tempted to fall back to sleep by the warmth that surrounds him. His mind floats in the hazy space between sleep and wakefulness, comfortable under the heavy duvet and strong body curled around him.

Buck.

Buck is pressed against his back, his arm secured around Eddie’s waist. With this realization, Eddie startles into wakefulness, his heartrate quickening and entire body tensing. He lays frozen, torn between the comfort of Buck holding him, the warmth of his chest flush against Eddie’s back, and the feeling that this is his fault, that he has somehow crossed a line and Buck will know how he feels. He forces himself to take several deep, slow breaths, willing himself not to panic, to just enjoy the moment while he can. But his brain jumps into overdrive, and he knows that now that he has woken up like this, woken up with Buck, he won’t be able to let it go. This moment will be etched into his memory, both a blessing and a curse.

Slowly, Eddie begins to pull away from Buck to get out of bed and put some space between them, but the arm around his waist tightens. A mumble falls from Buck’s lips as Eddie feels him nuzzle his face closer to him, his breath hot on the back of Eddie’s neck. His heart threatens to beat out of his chest, and he thinks he might go crazy being surrounded by Buck like this.

He gives himself one more moment to close his eyes and take it in, before gathering the strength to roll away from Buck and leave the bed. Buck lets out an endearing murmur, as if complaining about Eddie’s absence in his sleep. Outside of Buck’s hold, Eddie feels cold, the familiar ache for him returning instantly.

After a second of admiring Buck’s sleeping form, peaceful and soft, Eddie forces himself to turn away and head to the shower to get ready for the day.

They take breakfast in their room, sitting on the balcony as they sip their coffee, Buck claiming that it doesn’t count as vacation if they don’t get to have a slow start to their morning. Eddie certainly won’t complain about extra time alone for just him and Buck before a day of touring the winery and wine tasting.

After breakfast, they take a stroll through the vineyard, Eddie listening as Buck shares even more facts about wine.

“And did you know that white wine isn’t necessarily made with green grapes?” Buck asks excitedly as they pass the vines just beginning to grow new grapes.

“Then how is it made?” Eddie asks, just happy to hear Buck’s voice.

“They press the grapes without their seeds or skin! So that’s where red wine gets its color, it’s fermented with the skin and seeds.”

They continue their walk as the sun slowly creeps higher in the sky, ending back at the tasting room for the start of their tour.

Angela greets them with a big smile, introducing them to a few of the other couples who are joining for the tour. After a few polite introductions, Angela gets everyone’s attention to start the tour.

“We’ll get started with a little walk around the vineyard then move down to the cellars before coming back here for a chance to taste all the delicious wines you’ll be learning about,” she tells them.

Buck nudges him with his elbow and smiles when she mentions the wine tasting, knowing that it’s the part of the tour that Eddie is most looking forward to. But he knows Buck can’t wait to learn more facts about wine.

Angela leads them through the rows of grapes, telling them about the different varieties of grapes grown in the region. As they walk through the vineyards, Eddie finds that most of the information Angela shares, he learned on yesterday’s drive and this morning’s walk from Buck. Buck still listens intently, but Eddie’s mind wanders as his gaze travels to Buck. To Buck’s easy smile as he nods along to everything Angela says. To the set of his shoulders, broad and strong. He thinks back to waking up next to Buck, and how they’ll be sharing the bed again tonight. He thinks about what it would be like to wake up like that every morning. To wake up with Buck in his own arms.

The group begins walking again, snapping Eddie out of his thoughts. He chides himself internally for letting his thoughts stray.

“You okay?” Buck leans in close to ask quietly.

“Yeah,” Eddie croaks, before clearing his throat. “Yes,” he says, more convincing this time. Buck only looks at him a moment longer, squeezing his arm gently before following the group with Eddie next to him.

When they finally make it to the wine tasting room, after a visit to the cellar where they saw huge oak barrels of wine, each couple is sat side by side at their own small table. A glance around the room only serves as a reminder of what he and Buck are. Just friends. Friends who are letting these people believe they’re together.

Employees who work in the tasting room begin to pour flights for each table, their glasses ranging from reds to whites, bringing trays of cheeses and meats. Buck and Eddie look at each other, communicating silently. Just like dinner last night, this is way out of their comfort zone. They generally sit back with a beer, maybe a craft beer if one of them was feeling fancy at the grocery store. They’ve had wine on a few occasions when one of them cooks dinner for the other, but neither of them care much about what wine they’re drinking.

But as Angela explains how to properly taste wine – looking at the color, smelling it, and several other steps – Eddie almost laughs at how out of place he and Buck are here. But still, it’s free wine. And after the first sip, Eddie realizes it’s good free wine, so he’s certainly not complaining.

After learning the process of wine tasting and what makes each wine in front of them unique, Angela leaves them to enjoy their wine and food.

Almost immediately, Buck and Eddie are causing each other to laugh, each of them trying to come up with the most ridiculous notes they can “taste” in the wine.

After a sip of the Chardonnay, Buck leans in close to Eddie and whispers, “I think I’m getting hints of mascarpone in this,” in which Eddie cracks up laughing.

“I don’t even know what that is,” Eddie admits through his laughter.

Buck pauses to think, taking another sip. “Neither do I,” he says, before they both start giggling again, trying to stifle their laughter behind their hands.

“I’m sorry,” the woman at the table next to them interrupts, and Eddie immediately feels guilty for disrupting their wine tasting by getting lost in Buck. He expects her to ask them to quiet down, but instead she just says, “You two are so cute together.”

Eddie’s mind is static, unable to think of a response, let alone articulate one. He knew people would assume they’re a couple, that he and Buck would lean into the assumptions instead of correcting people, but now that they’re truly faced with it, Eddie freezes, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

Buck doesn’t panic. Not like Eddie currently is, staring back wide-eyed at the woman like a deer caught in headlights. Instead, he winds his arm around Eddie’s back, his hand settling at this hip, firm but gentle.

“Thank you!” Buck says with a charming smile. “You two are as well.”

Eddie raises a glass of red to his lips to give himself something to do and to try to calm his racing heart.

“How long have you been together?” her husband asks. The wine does nothing to slow his heart, because this – this is new territory. This is beyond just allowing people to think they’re together; this is lying to make people believe that they’re together. Buck must feel how tense he is, his hand rubbing his side comfortingly before giving his hip a gentle squeeze. And maybe it would be comforting if Buck’s touch didn’t send sparks up Eddie’s spine, igniting the longing that seems to consume his whole body.

“Uh, just a few months now, but we’ve known each other a long time,” Buck lies easily, the smile not falling from his lips.

“Ah, the honeymoon phase, enjoy it while you can” the man murmurs under his breath. The woman rolls her eyes, and says, “Ignore him, our honeymoon phase never really ended – as much as he likes to joke.”

Buck laughs, and Eddie tries to as well, realizing he’s been sitting frozen next to Buck since the conversation started. He sips his wine. He thinks it’s the merlot, but he wasn’t quite paying attention to which glass he picked up.

“So,” she continues. “You were friends first? Has that been a hard transition?”

Buck opens his mouth to speak, but in a burst of courage, Eddie beats him to it. He figures if they’re going to lie about the status of their relationship, they might as well base it in some truth.

“Not at all. Buck was already like a second father to my son, so it felt natural.” It’s true, he thinks. If Eddie were lucky enough for Buck to love him back, their relationship would feel so natural after everything they’ve been through, everything he is to Chris and Eddie. Family.

Buck freezes beside him, finally the one who’s speechless. Eddie puts a comforting hand on his thigh, like he imagines he would do if they were real boyfriends.

“That is so sweet!” the woman exclaims.

They spend the rest of the wine tasting talking to the other couple – Catherine and Alex – and Eddie is surprised how easy it is to fall into this pretend relationship. He thought they would be making up lies with every question, every story, but they hardly lie at all. They tell stories of Chris, of the 118, and their own adventures just the two of them, and it’s so easy to see that Buck is completely and entirely family. Eddie just hopes that Buck can see it too.

After the tasting, complete with refills of their favorites, Buck and Eddie say goodbye to Catherine and Alex, saying that they’re going to retreat to their room to rest for a bit.

“Oh yes, gotta take advantage of a weekend with no kids,” Catherine says with a wink, and Eddie feels a blush spread to his cheeks, his face already warm from the wine.

“We sure will,” Buck says cheekily, winking at Eddie, only serving to deepen his blush. “Let’s go babe.”

Eddie’s face must be as red as the merlot he just drank as Buck takes his hand and leads him out of the tasting room. His hand is warm and callused, and it fits perfectly in his own.

Buck drops his hand as soon as they’re out of sight, and Eddie immediately misses the contact. They don’t mention their pretend relationship on the walk back to the room, and they don’t talk about the fact that they were touching each other for the entire time. Eddie can almost feel the ghost of Buck’s hand on his hip, the warmth of his arm across his lower back. Eddie’s head buzzes from the wine, and he imagines what it would be like to allow himself to take Buck’s hand again, where no one else can see them. Not for show, not for anyone else to see. Just the two of them.

Fortunately, he hasn’t had that much wine yet, so he keeps his hands to himself.

When they get back to the room, they find another bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. They return to it shortly after a long call with Chris, both Buck and Eddie wanting to hear everything about what Chris has been up to. Opening up the bottle on their balcony, Buck finally brings up the tasting room.

“Uh, Eddie,” he starts, pouring them each a glass. “You didn’t have to lie like that back there, to Catherine and Alex.”

Eddie furrows his eyebrows, trying to figure out which lie Buck is talking about. He was the one who suggested they pretend to be in a relationship, did Buck want him to spill the truth?

“Which lie, Buck?” He asks, trying to understand.

Buck is looking down at his hands where he swirls the wine in his glass, silent for a moment. “About me. What I am to Chris,” he says quietly. He suddenly looks so small, and it makes Eddie ache even more.

“Buck,” he says, desperate to get through to him. “Look at me.”

Buck finally stills his hands and looks at Eddie with a vulnerable expression, the look in his eyes that Eddie sees whenever Buck feels insecure.

“That wasn’t a lie,” Eddie says firmly. “I meant what I said. You are like a second father to Chris.”

“Eddie – ” his voice breaks, like he won’t allow himself to believe it. Eddie turns in his seat to get a better look at him, not letting go of Buck’s gaze.

“Buck,” Eddie interrupts. “It’s true. I’m sorry I never said it. Or at least, never said it so clearly,” he says, thinking back to a time when he had given Buck his heart while sitting on a hospital bed.

Buck is quiet for a moment before breaking eye contact and looking out over the vineyard. Eddie watches him swallow as Buck tries to find his voice. “You know I – I love Chris like he’s my own.”

“I know,’ Eddie whispers, and he wants so badly to reach for his hand. He sips his wine instead.

The conversation turns to something easier after that, the two of them appreciating the view while finishing their glass of wine.

They put the cork back in the bottle, deciding to save the rest of the bottle for when they get back to the room after dinner. They spend the afternoon exploring the area. They find a hike within walking distance, both of them realizing they’ve probably had too much wine to drive anywhere. It’s an easy walk to the peak of a hill, giving them uninterrupted views of the rolling vineyards.

They run into Catherine and Alex at the top, the two of them having brought a bottle of Pinot Grigio and enjoying it on a picnic blanket.

“Hey!” Catherine exclaims when she sees them. “Come join us for a glass of wine!”

Buck looks at Eddie in question, not wanting to accept their invitation without Eddie agreeing first. It makes something flutter in his chest, how well Buck knows him. He gives a small nod along with a smile to show his appreciation.

Buck and Eddie join the couple on the picnic blanket, thanking them. Eddie watches as Catherine and Alex lean into each other comfortably, always touching, whether they’re holding hands or placing their hand on the others leg, their arm, anywhere, as long as they have contact. It’s nothing inappropriate, just gentle and caring touches.

Eddie suddenly feels too far away from Buck. And maybe it’s the wine that hasn’t left his system, or maybe it’s this game of pretend they’ve been playing all weekend, but he finds himself shifting closer to Buck, leaning into him so their shoulders are pressed together. Buck immediately leans into him response, not pausing in his conversation with Catherine and Alex.

Alex begins to pour them each a glass of wine. Eddie thinks he should probably hold off to give himself a break before dinner, but then he looks out over the vineyard and decides he might as well. When in Rome, or whatever.

The wine is cool and crisp, a perfect contrast to the midday sun beating down on them. Conversation with Catherine and Alex comes easily, and Eddie can imagine that this is normal – him and Buck spending time with other couples, as a real couple. He thinks about dinner with Maddie and Chimney, or Hen and Karen, and how it wouldn’t be all that much different. Except it would be. It would be fundamentally different if he and Buck were a real couple. Different, in the best way possible.

At some point, Buck’s hand finds his, lacing their fingers together and placing their hands in Buck’s lap. Buck’s thumb brushes absentmindedly against the back of Eddie’s hand, making it difficult to focus on the conversation, his focus zeroed in on Buck’s touch.

As they drain the last of the wine from their glasses, Alex asks if they have anything else planned for Valentines. Buck opens his mouth to speak, but apparently can’t come up with a quick enough lie, so Eddie steps in.

“We both really miss Chris this weekend, so I think we’ll just do something special with him.” He nudges Buck’s shoulder. “What do you think babe, movie night and dessert with Chris on Tuesday?”

He watches the blush spread across Buck’s cheeks, making Eddie’s stomach stir. He saw the opportunity to turn the tables on Buck, using the same pet name he had used for Eddie earlier that day, but wasn’t prepared for Buck to get flustered.

“Uh, yeah – yeah that sounds great,” Buck stutters.

“That’s sounds wonderful,” Catherine says, turning to her husband. “We should do that with the kids this week too.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart,” he says, placing a gentle kiss to her cheek. This time it’s Eddie’s turn to blush, wishing he could lean in and kiss Buck’s cheek whenever he wanted.

After thanking Catherine and Alex again for inviting them to join, Buck and Eddie start their trek back to the winery. They hold hands again as they walk away from the couple, continuing to sell the lie that they’re dating. When they’re out of sight, Buck doesn’t let go and Eddie doesn’t have the strength to be the one to do it. So, they continue their silent walk, hand in hand.

They run into Angela outside the restaurant as she helps prepare for dinner.

“How is my favorite couple doing?” she asks with a big smile.

Buck squeezes Eddie’s hand and says, “We’re great, Angela. Today has been amazing.”

“It’s not over yet,” she says. “Can I tempt you with one of our limited vintages? There’s a really lovely spot to watch the sunset that I think the two of you would enjoy.”

“Angela, you’ve already done so much for us,” Eddie starts, feeling a little guilty for Angela’s generosity, especially considering their little lie.

“Nonsense! Your man saved my life, I wouldn’t be here to give you a special weekend if not for him.”

Eddie looks at Buck, feeling a smile tug at his lips. Of course, Buck is a hero even when he’s not working. It’s one of the things Eddie loves about him. This time, Eddie squeezes Buck’s hand, trying to show how proud he is.

“That’s really sweet Angela,” Buck replies. “But it seems like we’ve been drinking wine all day.”

“More nonsense!” she exclaims. “That’s what you came here to do! Follow me, you’ll love this wine. It’s our 2018 vintage, a great year for our Cabernet Sauvignon.”

She leads them through the tasting room to find the bottle of wine, before continuing around to the back of the winery, a secluded area with a small table and a perfect view of the sun setting over the hills.

“This is beautiful Angela, thank you.” Buck says, his voice tinged with awe as he takes in the golden radiance over the miles of grapevines.

She pours them each a glass, placing the bottle on the table. “You boys enjoy,” she says, leaving them alone.

Eddie can’t help but think about how these grapes were being grown and harvested the year he met Buck, followed by several years of waiting patiently until the perfect timing. In all this time that Buck has been in his life, becoming a part of his family and making Eddie fall in love with him, this wine has been aging to perfection – to be poured into glasses for Buck and Eddie to drink together.

The sky is painted with reds and oranges, casting a warm glow on Buck and making his eyes shine. Eddie feels weightless. He could blame it on the warmth of the alcohol he’s slowly drank throughout the but knows that is nothing compared to what the blue in Buck’s eyes or the beauty of Buck’s smile does to him. All the alcohol does is quiet the voice in the back of his head that tells him that this is a bad idea, that Buck could never return his feelings, that it’s better to have him as a friend, as family, than to lose him.

That voice is gone, and all Eddie is aware of is how beautiful Buck looks, sitting across the small table right in front of him. All he can think of is the feel of Buck’s hand in his, Buck calling him baby and holding him close. Buck is looking back at him, his wine raised to his lips.

“So, uh – ” Buck starts, pausing to take a sip. “Guess we can stop pretending to date soon, huh?”

“I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

The words fall from Eddie’s lips before he can stop them, suddenly overwhelmed by how in love he is, the weight of it hanging like grapes on a vine, growing heavy for the vintage.

And there it is, what Eddie has been thinking all weekend, out in the open for Buck to hear. Eddie doesn’t want to pretend; he wants this to be real. He squeezes his eyes shut, his heartbeat pulsing through his ears as he prepares for the consequences. He forces himself to take a deep breath, but its shaky with the knowledge that he may have just ruined one of the most important relationships in his life. Eddie suddenly hates this wine, and he particularly hates Valentine’s Day. Finally, he forces himself to look at Buck.

Buck sits across from him, frozen, his mouth parted slightly and his eyes wide. Eddie tries to think of something to say, he thinks maybe he should apologize, but how could he ever apologize for loving Evan Buckley?

Maybe he should at least apologize for admitting it – he thinks he should – but as soon as he opens his mouth, Buck starts to speak.

“Eddie, I’m sorry,” his voice sounds wrecked, and it just makes Eddie feel worse. Of course, Buck is apologizing for not returning his feelings, and of course Buck feels awful about it. “I didn’t realize pretending to be in a relationship with me made you uncomfortable. I should’ve noticed, I’m sorry.”

Eddie’s mind races to keep up, suddenly feeling like Buck is having a different conversation, but Buck continues.

“We can tell Angela the truth if that will make you feel better, or we can just order food to our room, so we don’t have to see anyone else and we don’t have to lie about us. I’m sorry, Eddie, I didn’t mean to ruin this weekend.”

“Ruin this… Buck what are you talking about?”

“You want to stop pretending…” he says slowly, almost cautiously.

And maybe it’s because he hates that Buck is beating himself up over it, or maybe it’s because of the wine still flowing through his veins, but he’s unable to stop the words that come out of his mouth.

“Buck, I want to stop pretending because I want this to be real.”

Silence hangs heavy between them, just as the sun hides behind the crest of the hills, casting them in the shadows of dusk.

“You – you want this to be real?” Buck’s voice is hardly above a whisper, shaky and unsure.

Eddie swallows, then gives a small nod while he searches for his voice. “This weekend, with you, it’s so close to everything I’ve always wanted. And pretending…” he huffs a humorless laugh. “It’s been amazing, but it’s been killing me, knowing it’s all fake. That every touch, every smile, is just a performance.”

He takes another deep breath, trying not to let his voice break. “It’s so close to what I want, but it’s something I know I can’t have.”

“It wasn’t just a performance,” Buck blurts, a tinge of desperation written on his face, in his eyes, deep blue now that the sun has set. “Well, it may have been a performance, but that doesn’t mean it was fake.”

Eddie tries not to let the spark of hope in his chest ignite into something bigger, knowing that it would just make this all the more painful. But the spark is there, nonetheless.

“What are you saying?” Eddie breathes.

Slowly, Buck reaches over the table, across the small space between them, and takes Eddie’s hand ever so gently. He swipes his thumb across Eddie’s knuckles, and just like that the spark of hope has ignited, bursting into a flame in his chest.

“I’m saying,” he says softly. “That I want this to be real, too.”

Tentatively, Eddie stands up and steps around the table, eyes never leaving Buck. Buck looks up at him with so much trust in his eyes; it’s a look Eddie has seen hundreds of times before. Between one breath and the next, Eddie is leaning down to take Buck’s face in his hands, and then they’re kissing.

Buck’s lips are delicate beneath his, almost too gentle as they overcome the nerves of what this means for their future, knowing that taking this step will change everything. The kiss only lasts a moment, nothing more than a brush of their lips before Eddie pulls away to look at Buck, to make sure this is okay. Buck stands up in response, making Eddie’s hands fall from Buck’s face. And then Buck is wrapping an arm around Eddie’s waist to bring him closer, the other cradling the back of his head to pull him in for another kiss.

Their second kiss is more confident, the improved angle allowing Buck to angle Eddie’s head to deepen the kiss, both of them certain that this is a step they want to take. Eddie clings to Buck, his body humming with joy and relief.

They break the kiss, resting their foreheads against each other as their breaths mix between them.

“You can have this,” Buck whispers against his lips before placing a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth. “It’s real, it always has been.”

Eddie doesn’t know how this is happening, how he could ever get so lucky. The thought that he doesn’t deserve it crosses his mind, but he trusts Buck so he’s going to trust this. He tilts his head to capture Buck’s lips in response, the wine abandoned on the table as they get lost in one another.

When Eddie wakes up in the morning with Buck in his arms, he allows himself to stay and relish the feel of Buck’s back pressed against his chest. He presses a gentle kiss to the nape of Buck’s neck, aware that they need to get up soon to go home. Buck mumbles something unintelligible before grabbing Eddie’s wrist to pull his arm tighter around Buck.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie whispers. “You awake?”

Buck grunts in response, but covers Eddie’s hand with his own, threading their fingers together. Eddie wanted so badly to tell him last night but thought it should wait for when the wine is out of their system. But he can’t wait any longer, not with the happiness that is blooming in his chest.

“I love you, Buck.”

Buck immediately turns in his arms so that their faces are mere inches from each other. Buck is so, so beautiful, his curls a mess and eyes heavy from sleep.

“Y-you do?” he asks hesitantly.

Eddie smiles, unable to imagine a time when he wasn’t in love with Evan Buckley. “Yeah, I do.”

Buck surges forward to kiss Eddie, their breaths stale but lips soft, Buck’s hand warm where it rests on Eddie’s side.

“I love you too,” Buck says into his lips. “So much, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles into their kiss, suddenly grateful for wine and Valentines Day, and particularly grateful for the fact that Buck is always a goddamn hero. He thinks maybe they owe Angela an even bigger thank you than she realizes.

Eventually they’ll need to get up and start their trip home, start the rest of their life together. But for now, Eddie allows himself to have this moment.