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The cigarette smoke floats into the cold January air, one that bites Jotaro’s skin, making him shiver slightly now matter how many layers of clothing he has on him. He takes another drag, hearing the front of the stick fizzle a little before it releases the smoke again, making him feel calmer than he has all day.
Today’s the day he hates the most, January 17th.
The day he defeated Dio.
The day he lost two of his friends.
It doesn’t get easier as the years go by, somehow the guilt grows each time the day passes by. The first year was bad, practically because of the nightmares and how much he cried that day, knowing he broke Mom’s heart each time he said, "It should have been me.”
Jolyne changed that perspective on his life, realizing he’s glad he lived, but his guilt crushed him with how Kakyoin and Avdol will never be in her life, making him sob the first time the anniversary passed with his daughter.
As she got older, Jotaro tried to get better with his grief for them, but he knows he doesn’t succeed with how much she stares at him on that day, concerning glistening in her eyes. She doesn’t leave his side the entire time this day comes, never feeling more grateful for his daughter in his entire life, love only growing for her.
It’s what happened on this January 17th, Jolyne giving him the concerned looks before trailing behind him like a puppy, offering the idea to paint something new with her, something he could never say no to.
Though, there is one time of the day Jolyne leaves him alone.
The night.
It’s what keeps Jotaro company as he stands on their outside deck, the wooden structure creaking under each his feet. His arms lean heavily against the rectangular box of where he and Jolyne plant strawberries in the summer, his eyes catching onto some weeds to be growing. He makes a note to himself to get them out in the morning as his tan fingers reach towards the white stick, removing it out of his mouth as he places it next to him, making sure none of it lands onto the grass or wood.
This is also the only day he picks up the cigarette.
Jotaro quit the moment he heard Jolyne was coming into his life, Alessandra being so proud of him for it. The withdrawal symptoms sucked, but all of it was worth it when Jolyne was placed into his arms, knowing how healthy she would be because he no longer kept up with that habit.
He was good until Jolyne was 2, the brief being too much for him because of the call he had with Kakyoin’s parents, that being the thing that put him over the edge as he placed the stick on his mouth once more.
Jotaro smoked until there was a little nub left, crushing it quickly with the heel of his shoe. He worried that this might be what will make him start smoking again, knowing how good the nicotine could be from it. But surprisingly, he had no desire for it the next day, happy that he got over his addiction.
But, this tradition stayed, now being forever tied to this day in January.
Jotaro brings the white thing back to lips, face becoming a bright orange from the tip of it glowing that color. As he watches the smoke start being made again, he lets the childish side of him, wondering if he could still make the smoke rings his 17 year old self could. He moves his mouth into the shape of an “o” and with the help of his tongue, the wispy ring floats into the air, producing the thing he hasn’t made in almost 5 years.
It’s what he expects to do the entire night, being by himself as makes some smoke rings, hoping to make the stick disappear faster as he thinks back to that fateful day in Egypt.
What completely turns that plan upside down is a loud slam from the sliding door, almost making him drop the white thing from how frightened he was.
Jotaro quickly whips his head again, eyes wide with surprise when his eyes land on Jolyne, looking like a deer in headlights. His mind racing slightly as he sees her still awake so late into the night.
“Jolyne,” Jotaro says slowly, brow raised as he moves the cigarette out of her sight, knowing how disappointed she would be if he saw him smoking.“Why are you still up?”
Jolyne doesn’t answer him. She instead walks up to him, being careful to not step on the exposed wood that might give her splinters. She stops right by his arms, bringing hers up to mimic the position he is in, even if it causes her pajama shirt to lift up a little and raise herself on her tippy toes.
Jotaro's heart squeezes with affection when seeing this. It makes him feel so special with how much she wants to be like him, never knowing how amazing that could be. He doesn’t have the words to express how it feels to be looked up by her, always hoping she will. He lets his first real smile of the day cross his face as he brings his arm around her, bringing her closer to him. Jolyne giggles as she snuggles up against his side.
Jotaro takes another drag of his cigarette, making another smoke ring before his daughter speaks up.
“Can’t sleep,” Jolyne answers his questions, staring at the inky black sky. Jotaro turns his head towards her, removing the cigarette from his mouth because he knows how much his daughter hates the smell of it, always complaining about it when her nose picks it up on his coat. His brow raises up again, teal blue eyes twinkling with concern.
“Why not, butterfly?”
Jolyne turns towards him, green filled with curiosity.
“Dad, what’s the star on my shoulder supposed to be?”
A curse, is what almost slipped out of his tongue, a curse for endless suffering.
“Because I saw it when I was in the bathroom brushing our teeth, and I was just so..amazed with it! I have never seen such a perfect star in my life! It’s even purple too!” Jolyne says with a little wisp because of how she just lost one of her teeth a few nights ago.
A fate to a horrible destiny was another thing that came to his mind, feeling the way that one almost left his mouth as well.
His daughter stares at him, with all the wonder in the world, eyes shining brighter than any star he has ever seen. The innocence she has makes him jealous at times, wishing that he was still able to see the world as she does and not the one that was tinted by Dio. A beaming smile spread across her face.
“So, what’s the star supposed to be?”
Silence falls between them as he looks back at their yard again, putting the cigarette in his mouth again. He rethinks his answers because most of them would scare a six-year-old, terrified of what his words mean. Her awaiting excitement for his answer makes him realize how morbid he sees such a simple thing on his shoulder, not even remembering the last time he saw it as an ordinary thing on his body.
As he takes a glance back at his daughter, he knows what the right and simple answer should be.
“It’s a birthmark,” Jotaro explains as he lets the smoke go into the air again, moving the stick out of his mouth. “Everyone in our family has one.”
Jolyne’s eyes become as wide as a baseball.
“Everyone?”
“Yes, everyone.”
Her eyes drift to his back, moving her head slightly back to see it.
“Even you ?”
“Even me, Jolyne,” he whispers quietly, not being able to stop the small smile forming on his face. “Want to see?”
Jolyne nods her head rapidly, almost glowing with excitement at this point. Jotaro chuckles softly as he brings his hand up, reaching towards his white coat. He gently takes it off, paying close attention to make sure it doesn’t hit the ground. Once it was off his shoulder, he pulls his black turtleneck until it revealed the purple star, somehow making her eyes bigger than they all already were. He chuckles again.
“Satisfied?”
Jolyne nods her head again, shaking it so much Jotaro worries that she might get a headache. He fixes his clothing to where his turtleneck and coat were covering his skin again, the warmth instantly recovering his skin from the cold.
The next thing Jolyne does completely catches him off guard.
His daughter practically tackles him, almost strangling him from how hard her arms wrap around his neck. It almost causes him to drop his cigarette, Star catching it right before the thing touches the grass. His stand places the stick back into his hand, recovering his balance as he throws Jolyne a heated glare.
“ Jolyne .”
“We’re connected!” Jolyne shouts as moves her hand carefully to point to the area of where the birthmark is. “The birthmark connects us!”
Jotaro blinks, mind halting at her new realization.
“What?”
“Since we both have the birthmark, it means there will always be something that connects us! It shows how close we are as a family! So, now whenever I can see this birthmark, I can think of you and whenever you see it, you can think of me!”
Jotaro’s eyes become as wide as Jolyne’s, her statement somehow making him melt like butter, but making his mind halt all together.
For so long, he’s always associated his birthmark as a negative thing, something he believed to only cause pain and misery to everyone that has it. He saw it as the root of all of his problems, knowing that anyone that had it, they were enemy number one to stand users. It was the one part of his body he wanted to remove the most, thinking if it was not there, then nothing like Egypt would ever happen.
But, seeing how happy his daughter was to have this birthmark and to have the same thing as her father, suddenly, he got what his daughter meant.
They were connected by it. As she said, it shows that they are family and how close they were for it, them being the only one that has it. Every person that has this birthmark are people Jotaro never wants to lose, loving everyone in his family so much, he knows it will kill him one day for his need to protect them. Everyone in his family was so special and ovable, that Jotaro’s so glad to be apart from them, honored that they are all in fact Joestars, learning this even more so when his daughter entered his life.
Jolyne’s both a Kujo and a Joestar, and for once, his mind no longer sees that as a terrible thing.
So, as his eyes catch onto the tiny edge of Jolyne’s star peeking out of his shirt, he can’t help but to get a little emotional over it, knowing that this is the thing that will always keep them together, a piece of him with her as it is with him.
Star lifts Jolyne off from his back, her yelping slightly from it. He places her gently into his arms and with a kiss to her forehead, he disappears into. Following in his stand’s steps, he too presses a small kiss to the top of her head, making Jolyne squeal happily from it.
“Yeah, we’re always going to be connected, butterfly.”
Jolyne beams as she places her hand onto the birthmark. “And it’s going to be like that forever, Dad!”
A soft smile spread across his face now.
“I know it will.”
Jolyne laughs from that, her joy making his heart spill with affection, never thinking his love could grow for her more as it did now. Her laughs quieted down after a few seconds, looking at the surroundings around her. Dread slightly crawls inside him as she sees the way her eyes land onto the cigarettes. She presses her head up against his arm, giving him a heated glare.
“You know those things can be bad for you, Dad,” Jolyne tells him sternly, voice like this from all the anti-smoking ads playing on their TV.
“Don’t worry, butterfly. I was just about to put it out.”
“Well!” She exclaims as she pushes herself up, trying her best to copy his deathly glare. “Do it now!”
“You’re demanding tonight,” Jotaro teasingly remarks, but he still puts the cigarette onto the ground, watching the last bit of smoke fizzle out underneath his shoe.
Jolyne huffs indignantly.
“I have a reason to be, it can hurt your lungs, Dad!”
Jotaro brings Jolyne up towards his chest, his arms secured around her as he walks towards the small bench on their deck. He brings them both down, him sitting on the wooden thing and her on his lap. Her head moves up to look at him, giving him a suspicious stare. In order to quell her worries, he brings his hand up to start rubbing her head, a small smile on his face.
“I know and that’s why I only do it once a year.”
“Just once?”
“Just once,” Jotaro repeats, hoping that she might believe him.
His daughter stares at him few a seconds longer, before she leans up against his chest, her right side pressing up against it.
“I’m glad it’s just once,” Jolyne mumbles out as she grabs onto his shirt.
He moves his hand to where it rubs her back.
“Me too.”
Jolyne hums happily before she moves her head up, looking up at the starry sky. He follows in her lead as he tries to figure out and find all the constellations Kakyoin had once mentioned to him. He always told him that finding the shapes were easy, it’s just finding the right stars can be hard. He seems to know how true that statement was because of how trick it is, making it seem like every star was part of a constellation. Finally, after his eyes roamed across the sky for what felt like hours, they finally landed on the rectangular shape of the Big Dipper, his mind creating the image for him as he found every star that went along with it.
His daughter would be over the moon to see one of her first constellations because of how obsessed with them lately, proclaiming she’ll stay up all night just to see one, something Jotaro had to coax her out of doing multiple times.
“I found the Big Dipper.”
Jolyne instantly shots out from her resting position, getting right near his face.
“Where!!”
Jotaro points to the sky, his daughter following his finger where he traces the large part of the constellation, her squinting slightly from doing so.
“There,” Jotaro exclaims as his finger stops moving. “It’s right in the middle.”
“I don’t see it!”
“It’s that large rectangle I am pointing at.”
Jolyne huffs, giving him another heated glare.
“Just because Star helps you with our vision, doesn’t mean mine is as good, Dad”
Jotaro gives her a deadpanned look.
“I can easily not show you, Jolyne.”
Fear enters her eyes as she shakes her head to the side quickly, grabbing onto his shirt as her life depended on it.
“No! I want your help, I’m sorry.”
“It’s one, butterfly,” Jotaro says with a little laugh, before he turns his attention back to the night sky. “So, see my finger? Just follow where it is going.”
He cheeks presses up against his as she follows his finger carefully, shouting loudly when she found it, she is now pointing at it.
“There it is, Dad!” Jolyne yells, body shaking with happiness. “The Big Dipper is right there.”
“Yeah, it is, butterfly.”
It’s at that peaceful moment does Jotaro realize this is the one time January 17th wasn’t so terrible. Instead it was quite fun , enjoying every moment he had with his daughter, especially with their little quest of finding constellations.
And he even got something out of this day as well.
He can’t help but let his hand go touch the purple star, rubbing it slightly.
Maybe, that star birthmark isn’t such a bad thing anymore.