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Even though it was almost five in the morning and exactly two hours had passed since he woke up, Neteyam did not feel his eyes heavy from another sleepless night as he slowly shaped a beaded necklace. In fact, even though he had slept for a little over four hours - and, yes, that is far from healthy - he had managed to rest well if you consider that there had been nights past when his body had awakened yearning for air and his mind had made him believe that the bullet from General Quaritch's bloody pawn was still lodged in his chest.
In some hallucinations, he even saw the blood dripping in fine lines and staining the fingers of his younger brother, Lo'ak, who carried him desperately in an ilu into the arms of his father, who managed to stop the bleeding in time for them to take him back to the tribe and leave him in the care of Ronal, the Tsahik of the Metkayina. She performed a true miracle in not only making his stopped beating heart return to function, but also spending days and nights tending to the wound and praying tirelessly to Eywa for his life. When she needed to step away to give birth to her newest child, she left Neteyam out of danger, however, he fell into a coma.
Obviously, for Omaticaya the moment between fainting after the violence he suffered and the instant he awoke was no more than seconds, perhaps minutes, but for his family and the other Na'vi who were rooting for his recovery, there was a two-month long wait. On the morning he awoke, he was startled when he faced the excited and relieved faces of Jake and Neytiri, the disbelieving yet downcast expression of Lo'ak, and the happy, loud crying of Kiri and Tuk. However, it was only when he saw a fifth person enter the marui that he verbally questioned what had occurred, as he was alarmed at the sight of Ao'nung with a swollen face and almost as thin as his own frame.
No one was able to answer his questions, instead he felt the many arms of his family members wrapping around him from all sides, until only his eyes were left to stare into the blue orbs of the stagnant being in the doorway. His heart raced terribly as they began to glisten with thick tears that ran wildly down his cheeks, until they choked his breath with sharp sobs. Sully snapped out of his daze upon hearing the whimpering and paid attention to him, staring at him with such empathy and affection that it surprised him, but the same didn't seem to be true of his mate. On the contrary, when his mother stood up and walked over to the light blue-skinned boy, gently taking his hands and bringing him close to them, he allowed himself to be taken with a dull smile that expressed familiarity and gratitude.
After Metkayina settled down beside him and kissed his forehead with trembling lips, they finally told him what had happened, recounting all the events after his fainting spell and the weeks following his unpredictable condition. Neteyam felt instantly strange that he had been inert for so long, and then a sadness came over him as he learned how his family had felt about his absence and that he could not participate in the rebuilding of the village.
- Don't be like this," Ao'nung urged him, holding his palms firmly as he stroked his fingers, as if to confirm the truth of his awakening. - No need to apologize for something that was out of your control.
Neteyam sighed, feeling his chest being trampled by physical and emotional pain. He knew that psychologically he would still have to face many challenges ahead, since unfortunately the most destructive after-effects of a survivor could be those lodged in the mind. He did his best to listen to the reports with an impassive expression that didn't make it clear how each word hit him like new lethal bullets, ready to destroy him from the inside out, but when his parents checked his vital signs and stability one more time, then left him and his brothers left too, but not without protesting and hugging him again, leaving only Ao'nung to see all his weaknesses and fears with those big eyes full of compassion and understanding, he collapsed.
- I can't, not now. - His voice came out in a broken whisper, accompanied by tears that he wished he had let out as soon as he saw them all. - Even though it is precisely because I am not here that you are in pain, I wish I could help you. I feel that I have failed to leave you in such a situation, that it would have been better if I had returned to the spirit plane, to Eywa's arms, instead of extending such agony.
Ao'nung choked in astonishment at his statement at first, but then his expression closed into a frightening seriousness. The Na'vi of the water came so close to his face that there was barely room left for him to breathe, and he couldn't help the shivers erecting his fine hair to say in a low, threatening voice:
- Don't you dare, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan.
When he stood with clenched hands and locked jaw, the Omaticaya knew that he had aroused his anger and that a scolding speech was forming in his throat.
- I know your noble soul well and I admire you deeply, but I will not allow you to ignore what has happened here. I won't let you tarnish the miracle of your continued existence, because you weren't here going through the ordeal of waking up every day and not having your mate by your side. I was. - Ao'nung beat his chest, reaffirming his statement. - I hated you the second I saw you passed out in Toruk Makto's arms, and I cried with despair when I noticed the coldness of your palms that had always been so warm, because in that instant, for the first time in my life, I felt the fear of losing the person I love the most. But in not a millisecond did I blame you for being shot while you risked yourself in a rescue of that human, although I cursed you in every possible way for such stupidity, I respected your decision. Even though we parted that day with the promise to return to each other's arms, I understood that I couldn't have denied his brother's request, much less let him get stuck on that ship alone. I would have done the same for Tsireya, for you, or for any other member of my clan, so to judge him would be hypocritical on my part.
He paused for breath and his fists gave way, a sign that his annoyance was passing. However, determination burned in the look that was thrown at him in a warning that he was not finished, hitting him right in the core.
- It is in your blood and spirit, being the son of who you are, to protect and guard your family and your people, but let me be very clear in a way I never have been before, Neteyam: you are not indestructible. Your responsibilities to the welfare and safety of others ends the moment you become the one who needs help. And you needed us so much, skxawng. And how you needed it! - The exclamation sounded like a growl. - And I hated that you needed it because I myself believed so much that nothing could bring you down, because you are good at absolutely everything you do, and so skilled with your bow on top of your ikran, which I have never seen you even miss. Only I had to face the reality of seeing your body motionless for days on end, thinking that I couldn't stand it if in the end the result was your departure, for even though I could hear your breathing, you didn't respond to my greetings, didn't laugh at my stupid jokes, didn't return my hugs, and didn't smile at me either.
Here Metkayina cried again, and Neteyam followed him, unable to say anything, for not only did he know that his mate only wanted to be heard at the moment, but he was speechless at that sincere and suffering manifestation of emotions and feelings.
- I was so terrified that you would never open your eyes again that on the nights that you let me sleep next to you, I counted your every breath in and out," Ao'nung returned, only this time lower and more controlled. - I had to stay away for a while, because even though I wanted to take care of you, I was really wasting away. No one was well, but everyone was so supportive as if I were the only one lost in that pain. Your family was essential so that I could keep hoping. I almost died while watching you die and that's why no, I will not accept the slightest drop of ingratitude for the blessing that Eywa granted us by interceding for your life.
- Forgive me, please," Neteyam asked, straining to sit up and lean his back against the straw wall, which made him let out a slight painful groan.
Ao'nung completely lost his previous defensive pose when he heard the sound, and stepped forward to help him find a comfortable position. Watching this gesture softened the inner Na'vi of the forest, and having him so close again, he wasted no time in pulling him against his chest. It didn't take even half a second for the embrace to be duly reciprocated. Feeling their hearts vibrating happily for being united and beating in sync, their tails intertwined as their owners applied a greater force to their arms, fused together.
- I missed you so much," Ao'nung confessed, managing to stop crying slowly and pulling him away just so she could hold his face. - And I'm sorry too, forest boy. You just woke up, I shouldn't have unloaded so much on you.
- It's all right, my love. I really understand. - Neteyam joined her forehead to his, enjoying the delicious feeling of sharing the same space as her lover. - And it's not over, is it? I feel you have more to tell me, please do.
Metkayina hesitated for a few seconds, but found encouragement in the yellow eyes he so loved to admire and lose himself in at the same time.
- I just...Teya, when I say that I see you, it means that I fully accept you for all that you are and have to offer," said the Na'vi from the water, stroking his cheeks tenderly. - You are a son, brother, friend, and mate to people who are willing to give of themselves in the same proportion. We will feel all your joys and sorrows as our own, for we love you. Never again dare to think that your death would have been better.
- All right. All right.
- I'm so happy that the water brought you back to me. I can't believe you're standing right here in front of me.
- Well, I am. - Neteyam gave a broad smile, showing all his teeth. He also grabbed his mate's face and touched him as he had the first time they had kissed, tracing his fingers across his forehead, eyes, nose and jaw, until he stopped at the plump lips that took him to another dimension.
- May I? - The request said in a thirsty voice and the look that was directed to his mouth made it clear what he was referring to.
Instead of answering, Neteyam took the initiative and gently joined them in a slow chaste seal, which allowed them to kill their longing as they tasted each other. However, by the end of the kiss they were panting and crying again, only happier than they could manage to express. The Na'vi of the forest stared lovingly at the other, before firmly stating the following sentences:
- I see you more than before, Nung. I love you so much.
The memory made him give a slight smile and he let out a snort as he remembered his foolishness. All right, it was all right now that he had learned that from the moment we are born in the arms of our parents and create bonds with other beings, be they Na'vi or animals, thus allowing us to live, to relate, to love and to let ourselves be loved, there is not the slightest possibility of experiencing such connections without pain. Therefore, he could not wish that those who mattered to him be deprived of such experiences just because he did not want to see them suffer in any way.
Whatever it may be, at the end of every battle won, there is learning available, and just as love teaches us along the simplest and most easily traveled paths, it can also guide us along the turbulent and obstacle-filled ones. And all beings on Pandora have been given the right by the Great Mother to choose the course of their actions and how they will deal with the consequences. Neteyam had always known this perfectly well, but now his vision was of someone who had struggled bravely to choose between remaining in the body he was given or joining his ancestors.
Of course, a son of Eywa was not always given such a chance, it depended greatly on the context behind the death, and likewise, She determined whether a soul in question could continue to inhabit the Pandorian plane. That was the case with Jake Sully, his father. And he didn't know if Doctor Grace Augustine received the proposal, but regardless, nothing happened in a different way than the one already predestined.
He couldn't remember the details, only a strong certainty of having been in an omnipresent presence that overwhelmed and delighted him in equal measure. There was a brief conversation before a strong breath laid him down on what seemed to be the grass of the forest he once lived in, and the vegetation completely enveloped him until he fell asleep. When he told his older sister, Kiri, she nodded in amazement at every word and became emotional and hugged him for long minutes, thanking the entity in a way she had not yet seen him do. Neteyam, more than before, recognized on the spot everything his mate had squelched days before and cried, finally allowing himself to feel the pure gratitude mixed with immense relief that he was back.
One of the greatest incidences that guerrero had to face was precisely the traumas that remained haunting him constantly, even after his full physical recovery. He began to face insomnia and hallucinations, which left him completely down and depressed. But after many lunches with his family, moonlit evenings with Ao'nung, afternoons playing with his beloved baby brother-in-law, and prayers at the Tree of Life for guidance and strength, he began to react and regain the vitality and animation that had always been a hallmark of his personality.
Some days were more difficult than others, but the happiness he found there with his parents and brothers would not let him perish in the complete darkness that insisted in wanting to devour his interior, making him remember painful situations from the past. Of course, leaving his home and his people (including his grandmother) broke him and he would never be able to fix that part, but the initial emptiness caused by the lack of the forest and the Omaticaya was slowly filled by the adventures in Awa'tlu. Interestingly, Neteyam noted in his reflection, from the instant he posed on the sand of the village beach to the present, one person in particular was in every memory constructed: Ao'nung, the son of Tonowari, Olo'eyktan of the Metkayina.
And among them: Ao'nung, the water boy, affectionately nicknamed "fish face" and who proudly bears the title of her husband and eternal mate.
Things did not go smoothly at first, as it is not hard to imagine considering that the differences between the two are greater than the similarities, but Omaticaya loved reliving those days with praise. They were no older now than then, but both he and the light-skinned Na'vi had matured during and after the war, so that when they no longer had any reservations about their relationship, they told their families about the marriage. Only to get to that point, they needed to exhaust every source of words they knew in lengthy dialogues to assuage their fear of the new sensations of the relationship begun unassumingly as a friendship.
Both he and Ao'nung had never fallen in love to the level of wanting to risk absolutely everything for the person and ignore any cons that might arise. Hence, even after they discovered that their feelings were mutual, they became estranged and drifted apart for days, thinking to no avail that they could undo whatever had begun to emerge. They were wrong, for the distance sank them both into intense longing, until they couldn't stand it any longer and arranged to meet at the place that had become their secret corner: a secluded spot north of the reef, where there was a small cave on the shore.
- I can't do this anymore, Teya.
- Beg your pardon? - Neteyam, who preferred to stare at the starry sky than the boy beside him, uttered softly.
- We are fooling ourselves. This will not pass. - Ao'nung, on the other hand, stared at him vehemently, crossing his fingers that they should not go towards the bioluminescent spots for which he had true devotion. - I can't keep ignoring you, forest boy. You're not exactly someone to go unnoticed, even more so after spending so much time around you.
Sully finally gave him a look, which, while containing understanding, was dominated by fear. Ao'nung could see the brains of another's brain frying, working hard to make a decision. Metkayina didn't want to pressure him in any way, so he decided to step outside the cave, finding beauty in the sound of the waves of a sea lit by silver moons that took his breath away for a moment. He approached the water, whispering softly in gratitude for the existence of the element, and
He closed his eyes, enjoying the back and forth that wet his feet as if he were caressing them.
A few minutes later, he was so wrapped up in the familiar feeling of being blessed and comforted by the sea that he didn't hear footsteps behind him, noticing Neteyam's presence only when he wrapped his thin arms around his torso, putting his hand exactly on the left side of his chest. Of course, her heartbeat quickened and her breathing failed miserably at the approach and touch of the one to whom she had given her heart and soul without even realizing it.
- It's beating as hard as a drum. - Sully, even as nervous as he was about the proximity, couldn't resist scoffing. He could never contain his provocative side when the target in question was the Na'vi of the water. - Do you like me that much?
- As much as you like me. - That was all Ao'nung could reply, equally teasing, before he began to shiver as he felt the tightness around him increase and his face press against his back.
The sigh that Neteyam let out lodged itself in his skin and spread into several shivers down his spine.
- I can't do this anymore, Nung. I can't stay away from you anymore when the thing I long for most is to bring you closer and closer to me," the dark-skinned boy confessed, feeling lighter for admitting it out loud.
- Then don't stay. I am here, and I want to be with you. - Ao'nung tried to remain calm at the words, but he couldn't help but smile when he heard them. He wrapped his hands around the other's, squeezing them gently. He knew that Neteyam did not like to show his vulnerability, but when he did, he hoped that whoever was by his side would welcome it.
- Do you promise that you won't regret it? Even if our relationship jeopardizes your future position?
And with such a question, Ao'nung had to let go and turn to face Neteyam, for he never promised something without staring into the eye sockets of the one for whom it was intended. When her gaze met his, he could visualize the insecurity that took away his peace, but he also captured the instant when his rapturous yellow eyes sparkled as they connected with his own. He had seen that look exchanged by several couples in the village, including his parents, but had never experienced it for himself until he met him. By Eywa, is wanting to laugh and twirl normal when you are in love?
- I promise I won't. We want and will be together. We belong to each other now, Teya. I'm not going anywhere, so please don't go either.
And Neteyam didn't go, of course. They managed to stay firm and strong with the choice they had made. I even dare say that they, as they officially became a couple, became more protective and janitors of the promise they had made, and that with each sunrise and sunset, they renew their will to love each other more than the day before, yet less than the awakening of the tomorrow after.
That's what Sully thought as his attention was taken by low grunts and nervous whispers coming from his mate, who until five seconds ago was fast asleep.
- No. This can't happen. He is not dead.
Neteyam was immediately saddened to hear the sentence clearly spoken, dropping his task to stand by Ao'nung's side and bring him out of his daze. It had been some time since his last nightmare, which reduced the episode from frequent to occasional. The herbal preparations his mother-in-law made helped immensely, but did not completely prevent catastrophic images from invading his mind, disturbing his rest and filling his heart with anguish.
- Hey, Nung, open your eyes, honey," she called in a soft voice, holding his hand and placing a palm on his sweaty forehead.
- Please don't," Ao'nung whimpered in a moan, beginning to struggle.
- Listen to my voice. I am here," Neteyam, though shaken by the sight, did not lose his gentle tone.
- Mom...Dad, tell me it's not real! He promised me he would come back for me.
The Na'vi of the forest could hear his heart organ stopping and breaking into thousands of pieces, but he kept his focus. After a few calls and continuous touches to his face, he finally sat up in a burst, breathing hard and sweat dripping down his temples.
- Teya...- Ao'nung called out faintly when he saw him staring worriedly at him. As always when this happened, she was completely relieved to see him well and whole. - Are you all right? Why are you awake?
Neteyam let out a light laugh, rolling his eyes at his beloved and pulling him into a rib-crushing hug, which is their favorite.
- Skxawng. I ask you if everything is okay. You were having another nightmare.
Ao'nung shrugged and sighed, pursing his lips slightly. He also laid his head on Neteyam's legs, and was readily welcomed, which made him smile at how he never, under any circumstances, denied him his lap.
- That's the usual. Another version of his death.
- Hmm. I heard it. - Omaticaya began to loosen her husband's coke, letting the curly locks spread freely. He gave a mild smile as he began a petting that elicited a happy purr from his mate, knowing exactly how much the gesture was desired.
Not that he needed it so much, after all Ao'nung is as transparent as the waters of Awa'atlu, but since they had made the tsaheylu, they could feel and perceive each other more easily. Even small cravings of everyday life.
- Do you want to tell me?
- No. Normally I feel better narrating for you, but not today," Metkayina justified, looking up to appreciate his mate's beauty. - Somehow I feel that the nightmares are weaker. I think that the more time passes and I become convinced of the authenticity of your presence, the less I give way to my fear of your disappearance.
- A six-month bond was not enough to convince you yet? - Neteyam understood - again, the surreal bond manifesting itself - that he didn't want to go that deep into the matter, so he joked.
- If you were me, you would know that an entire existence is not and never will be enough to believe that such a beautiful being, the greatest of them all, is your eternal mate. Believe it or not, it is hard to trust, Sully.
The boy mentioned patted him on the shoulder, scolding him for embarrassing him. Ao'nung laughed heartily, wrapping his arms around his friend's neck and moving him down until his lips met in a chaste kiss. Neteyam was mentally thankful that they had a marui of their own, otherwise they wouldn't be able to have such relaxed and silly moments.
- Now, come, lie down next to me and tell me what got you out of bed.
- Well, that's easy. Evidently it was your snoring.
It was Nateyam's turn to have a good laugh at the disgruntled expression that was thrown at him before he complied with his mate's request. He had barely found a comfortable position and there were the shapely arms and legs around him, pulling him so close that her face stuck to his. In the same instant that Ao'nung smiled sweetly, both their tails came together as if they couldn't survive apart.
- You look more beautiful every day, my love.
Neteyam was without his braids that night, which allowed Metkayina to appreciate the essence and softness of the smooth strands, as stubborn in remaining still in place as the owner of the head they inhabited.
- Not as much as you. Definitely no one in this village has the most beautiful fish face on the reef.
Omaticaya laughed at the sight of the rolling blue eyes that made them dive into the calmness of the ocean without actually being there. Until the laughter gave way to seriousness accompanied by the most sublime feeling one could ever experience.
- I see you, Ao'nung. - Neteyam spoke slowly, signaling together. - I may not sleep through entire nights without having seizures, for the time being, but I can assure you that none of the times I spent with you were bad beyond what they should have been. Thank you for being the anchor holding me steady so that I can steer myself in the best way.
Neteyam is not one for super elaborate statements and phrases, except when she wanted to please, especially her husband. Therefore, Ao'nung appreciated her effort every time and kept in the second largest (as the first was already occupied entirely by him) available space of her heart every word she said.
- I see you, Ma'Neteyam. And never, hear me well," he cried, stroking his noses roughly, "will I leave you alone. We are one before Eywa and those who brought us into the world.
- And so we will return to her embraces for eternity.
They kissed many more times before being lulled into their own kind whispers and mesmeric smiles. And for a long, long time.