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A daily, mundane routine was about to take place.
The young woman opened the door, greeted by the sound of the bell and the faces of her friends who all gradually realized her presence as she approached the table. Go Go let a small smile grace her lips as everyone issued her a "good morning", to which she returned. "Go Go! Good morning! You're just in time, I finished breakfast– enjoy, everyone!!" that motherly yet young and upbeat voice sang as Cass set down everyone's individual breakfast plates, complete with food more catered to them (it wasn’t a busy morning; she had time for personalization). Fred exclaimed in excitement, mentioning something about how close he was to stealing a pastry from the display case as an "appetizer" because his hunger was that great. His impatience and drive to steal was scolded by Wasabi, but Honey Lemon instead made note of something else.
"Where's Hiro?" Honey Lemon pondered, causing the group to notice the missing seat in their midst. Yet it was as if she summoned him– he came down the stairs, fiddling with a tablet and donning an exasperated expression. Not far behind was Baymax, who was hobbling uncharacteristically, nearly losing his footing as he stumbled about. Go Go cocked her head at this.
"Iiiis… everything okay there?" Go Go asked, perhaps coming off unintentionally annoyed (but that was just her). Hiro scratched at his head.
"Yeah, I just… something weird happened as a result of last night's situation, so I think Baymax needs some maintenance." he answered, his eyes still glued to his device.
"Is that what you were doing?" continued Go Go, sipping her coffee as she attentively focused on him.
"No… no, this– this kind of problem is really weird and rare, so I– he needs… it needs to happen overnight, the maintenance." the boy tripped over his words, which was common, but not quite to this degree. Whatever the situation was seemed to perplex him and even stress him out. If Hiro was worried about something technological, then it was not something to easily be looked over.
“Your cortisol levels appear to have increased.” diagnosed Baymax accordingly, who appeared to function normally aside from the hobbling. “This indicates that you are stressed.”
“Y-yeah, but it’s no big deal. I’m just a little surprised.” Hiro assured as he finally took his seat, setting aside the tablet for a bit to take a bite of his muffin. “I just hope there’s no fight or conflict we have to deal with tonight, you need overnight maintenance… but after that, it should be fixed.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Wasabi inquired, glancing at the device, then to Baymax, then back at Hiro.
“I mean– basically, Baymax’s motor functions were impaired, and if I don’t tend to it soon it’ll only degrade, and I can’t just fix it halfway either, so I need time…”
“You have to leave him at SFIT overnight?” chimed in Honey Lemon solemnly, appearing saddened by the fact.
“Yeah… but it’ll be fine. Even if something does come up, we can handle it on our own. It’s just, this kind of damage is hard to cause… I’m a little baffled that he was hit so precisely.” Hiro laughed sarcastically, shaking his head at what appeared to be his own anxiety. He then went on to again insist that everything was fine.
“Do not worry. It will be alright. As soon as my maintenance is complete, I will have no further issues regarding my functionality.” Baymax assured, to which Hiro calmed down further and nodded.
“Well, I need to stay late tonight too, so if you need anything I’ll be down the hall.” Go Go mentioned offhandedly. “Can the three of you patrol tonight?”
“Oooh, oooooh! An unlikely trio, separated from the rest of the group, forced to continue onward… this is just like this one issue of Captain Fancy, where…” Fred began, before Wasabi interjected by reminding him that they had split patrol duties before, and this was nothing new.
Honey Lemon giggled, before turning back to Go Go with a smile. “We’ll be okay, don’t worry.”
“Thanks you guys, I shouldn’t be long either, so if I have time, I’ll join.” Hiro sighed with relief; he really did have great and attentive friends. Go Go observed his secret smile, hiding one of her own.
After everyone finished eating, they said goodbye to Cass before chatting idly after exiting the cafe. Wasabi and Hiro assisted Baymax as he struggled to move about, sometimes pausing completely despite the two of them pulling at him. It was as if he was glitching, but Hiro didn’t seem to be too worried about it anymore.
“If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Personally, I still want the ability to shapeshift into an actual lizard monster.” Fred wiggled his fingers threateningly, spooking Wasabi as he suddenly grabbed his shoulders. “Don’t get me wrong. Suit’s cool, but imagine…”
“I wanna be taller.” Hiro answered without hesitation, hushing Baymax before he could say anything .
“I dunno. I guess I wanna be… less afraid? But I think that’s coming along well.” Wasabi noted thoughtfully.
“I want curly hair! But also, I’m a little clumsy, I want to be more aware.” Honey Lemon beamed, her tone the most optimistic.
“Aside from the damage to my motor capabilities, I am in no need of current improvement. Tips in regards to change include, but are not limited to: identifying why you want to change, identifying what may hold you back, embracing discomfort, and…”—Baymax pumped his fist robotically—“never giving up.”
“That’s cheezy.” retorted Go Go. Hiro’s eyes fell on her.
“Well, what do you want to change about yourself, Go Go?”
Since it was Hiro asking her, she thought for a moment.
“…I dunno… I guess I wanna be… kinder? More… helpful?”
Hiro looked at her in some sort of sad disbelief. He muttered something to himself, before Fred changed the subject.
The day went about normally afterwards. The lunch talks were relaxed and casual, as they usually were. Classes went by, and soon, the sun had set in no time.
Go Go, for some reason, was losing her spark.
No matter how much she tried, nothing was coming out right; through trial and error, nothing was working, and her bike wasn’t getting any faster. She became increasingly frustrated, and upon tossing another defective wheel and watching as it knocked the entire bin over, she snapped. Go Go exclaimed loudly, shouting a few swear words and kicking the bike before sinking into a nearby chair, defeated. “What’s… the point…” she groaned, sitting in silence for a long while as she rubbed in between her eyebrows.
‘…Identifying why you want to change...’
Go Go had been feeling inadequate recently– not just because of her constant bike hiccups. There was something else nagging at her, and Fred’s question this morning only made her think about it more.
Since the fire, she had always tried to be more attentive to the needs of others— something which didn’t come easily for her as someone who preferred to remain in her pessimism. Expressing the ideal kindness wasn’t in her line of work, and after all, she trusted very few people outside of her immediate friend group. Her skills lied more in being defensive and protective of them rather than offering advice and being an amiable presence. Wasabi and Honey Lemon had that covered, she supposed she would stick to being the wake-up call. However, she figured that, with Hiro now a part of their group, she should amp up the “big sister energy” as Fred had put it. Her late friend would have wanted that for his younger brother, after all.
‘...Identifying what may hold you back…’
Go Go wanted to be more openly kind, but she was too comfortable in her shell to break out any further than she feared she may have done already. She had already put on such a tough exterior that the soft aspects of herself she wanted to express were much too uncharacteristic for her. She pondered that as she lay back in that chair, unmotivated to continue with her work anymore.
Did Go Go feel useless? Was her cynicism nothing but draining to the group?
Disgusted at such a possibility, she decided to get up and take a lap around the hall. If she got up and moved around, maybe her mind would clear, and she would be able to focus again. She figured she would drop by and say hi to Hiro, since he was probably still here for that maintenance, so she shrugged and made her way there.
As she was approaching, however, Go Go heard something… strange. She couldn't quite make it out, but it sounded like… breathing? It was moving at a rapid pace, and got louder even though she didn't approach. She paused, trying to make sense of it, and upon declaring it unusual, she prepared herself for an ambush. She turned the corner with caution…
…But that guarded stance immediately fizzled upon realizing that it was Hiro. On the ground. Grasping at his chest.
Go Go rushed to his side, pulling him up and close in order to support him. "Hiro?? Hiro!! Can you hear me? Are you okay??" Go Go fired at him rapid questions, which only served to make the both of them feel worse.
She didn't need to do much thinking to figure out that what Hiro was having was a panic attack.
‘…Embracing discomfort…’
Crap. Crap. CRAP. These were exactly the kinds of situations Go Go wasn't equipped for. These were exactly the kind of situations she cursed herself for not being able to handle well. God made note of her inner anxieties and chose to have her confront them, lest she be useless forever.
Go Go rushed in her thinking. "Baymax… Baymax would know... Baymax can help, right??" she said nearly to herself, prepping to hoist Hiro up and make her way to the lab before the boy made an active struggle to get out of her arms. All he could do was shake his head "no", and even that was janky and sporadic. She thought this was about to evolve beyond a panic attack, and began to worry if it was, indeed, more than that.
"B-Baymax is… mainten… m-maintenance…" Hiro heaved as he collapsed lower to the ground, his breaths becoming mixed with shaky cries. "No… he… Go Go, you …"
The boy could barely get words out through what was most definitely pain. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t speak beyond what he had already said, and doing so clearly was out of the question. “Okay, okay, just… um… shit…!” she fretted. Go Go didn’t have time to think straight; all she knew was how to think quickly. Wasabi knew about things like this, what was that “three, three, three rule”...?
Go Go prepared herself. Hiro’s quickening breaths acted as a countdown to disaster. She hoped she remembered this right.
“Okay… listen to me. Hey. Listen. I’m not gonna leave. What are three things you see?” Go Go pulled him closer to her and let his body weight collapse, and she served as his full support. That alone seemed to calm him just a little, to the point where he could answer her.
“The… floor… I can see… the lights which aren’t on… I can see… my hand in yours.”
Go Go didn’t even realize that. Subconsciously, she must have taken his hand.
“...Okay. Good. Three things you hear?”
“My heart… your voice… um, I can’t think… of a third thing.”
“That’s okay. You’re thinking. That’s enough.” Go Go assured. “Now, move three parts of your body for me.”
Hiro fidgeted with her fingers, shifted his head a little to look around, and moved his right foot up and down slowly. Go Go sighed to herself with relief. He still wasn’t completely calm though, and beyond that, she was lost on what to do– she was out of ideas.
But she had gotten this far, right?
“Maybe now we can get you to—”
Hiro knew what she was about to suggest, and immediately he shot it down, able to speak a little more concisely now. “Baymax can’t… be interrupted…”—he took a few breaths in between his words—“…or the maintenance will… mean nothing… so…”
“Can you tell me what you need, then? I… I don’t know…” Go Go whispered that last part to herself.
“Sometimes… Baymax takes me flying… but the speed is what… helps the most…” Hiro whispered before his breathing picked up slightly, worrying his friend.
“...Alright. I’m getting you home.” Go Go told him, before picking him up gently yet with haste.
“I need to finish…” was all Hiro could manage before she became the one to cut him off this time. “ No , you’re going home.” she asserted with her more typical sternness. Hiro couldn’t speak beyond that. Whatever she said went now.
Go Go failed to account for one critical error, though. Her actual motorcycle, the ideal vehicle in this situation, wasn’t with her. Additionally, if she merely ran from the school to his place, the jostling around would only disturb him more. Walking wasn’t an option either– Hiro needed speed, and Go Go wanted him home quickly. Walking would do nothing for either of them.
There was, however, one option, but it was the most risky and the one Go Go was most insecure about.
“...The mag-lev bike…”
Go Go was continuously dissatisfied with its speed, and now, the question of whether its current speed would be enough for Hiro added another insecurity to the pile. She froze in place, staring at it, wearing worry on her face. She considered giving up and calling someone, or forgetting about what Hiro said and interrupting Baymax’s maintenance so that he could help him instead. Go Go took a deep breath, preparing herself to say “I’m sorry” and run down the hall…
‘...never giving up.’
Instead of saying what she had planned, Go Go shouted, as if to say “I can NOT believe I’m trying this”. She was really glad she made those seat modifications.
She placed Hiro down on the seat and climbed on in front of him swiftly after so he didn't fall over immediately. “Hold on. You want speed, right?”
A weak nod against her back.
“Well… you’re definitely gonna get it.”
Go Go wasted no time. She revved up, and the bike burst through the doors of the lab, recklessly down the hall, and eventually crashed through the main entrance where it finally entered its intended domain: outside.
Go Go quickly realized that the speed, even beyond the confines of the lab, was still dissatisfying, so in response she only pushed the bike further. She ran red lights, through stop signs, down stairs and took various unideal (to most but her) shortcuts. With all this, the bike was only a little faster, and Go Go clicked her tongue impatiently.
Upon coming to a downhill road, Go Go nearly hesitated. She was barreling toward the drop, and if the speed she reached wasn't enough, she would never be able to live with herself.
She was about to give up chasing this ideal speed when she felt the arms around her tighten a little, desperately, trustingly.
Pushing back whatever words her insecurities tried to tell her, Go Go let out another determined yell. She kicked the side of the bike forcefully, and that seemed to jam it into action– because the speed the bike reached right after that was unmatched.
The two of them soared down the hill, and after one blink of the eyes, they were at the doors of the Lucky Cat Café.
Without taking the time to soak her accomplishment in (she’d do that later), Go Go helped Hiro off the bike and he nearly fell apart into her completely. She pulled on the handle of the door only to realize it was locked, yet before it was a cause for alarm, Hiro awkwardly fished a spare key from his jacket pocket. He handed it to her while he mentioned something about how Aunt Cass was out somewhere right now, so she left him a key since she wouldn’t be home. Go Go accepted it wordlessly, only sighing with relief and using it to open the door while she supported him with her other arm. His panicked breathing had slowed greatly, but his body language indicated that he was exhausted and needed to be in bed right away.
Go Go helped him up the stairs slowly while whispering to him to take it easy. She led him to his bed, made him shed his jacket, before pulling the covers back and laying him down. Once she had covered him back up, she let out a much more audible sigh of relief, sliding down the side of his bed completely beat. They remained that way for a while in silence.
“…Thanks.” Hiro muttered, his panicked state appearing to have subsided completely.
Go Go turned her head slightly. “Yeah. Don’t mention it. Glad you’re okay and all. Geez, you scared me, though.”
Hiro laughed weakly. “…Yeah. That’s why I… never really told anyone.”
“…What do you mean?” Go Go asked, almost as if she was mad.
“It… hasn’t been the first time. I’ve had a few of them now, but, since we have Baymax, I never feel the need to… you know. Tell anyone.” Hiro explained, now understanding that he had cornered himself into explaining his unhealthy secret.
Go Go sat up, and her disposition implied she was angry, but really it was a good-hearted concern. “Dude, you know you can tell us about that stuff, right? No, you should have told us about that stuff.”
“Yeah, I know… I definitely know that now. It’s not that I didn’t trust you guys, it’s just…” he began.
“…You’re worried people will see you differently, and think you’re incapable?” she finished for him.
Hiro paused, and that was enough to tell Go Go that it was exactly that. “…I feel the same. It’s okay. I always thought I was incapable of being helpful or nice because, I mean… I’m me . Not exactly easy to get along with.” she explained, hugging one of her knees close to her chest.
“That’s… not true. You’re not not helpful. You’re still… kind. That’s not true.” Hiro’s voice matched that of his saddened look from earlier in the morning.
“Don’t kid yourself.” she scoffed, but he only stood his ground.
“You don’t need to change your entire self in order to be kind. You’re already kind. Just… in your own way.” Hiro attempted to sit up, but could only manage to roll over and face her. Through the darkness, Go Go could make out the most comforting smile she had ever seen, and such a smile would have managed to bring her to tears if she was just the tiniest bit of a softer person. She really was vulnerable right now. “You helped me… even if you didn’t know what to do. You still made every effort… to help me.” he continued, his smile only growing kinder with every word.
“…I guess you’re right, heh.” Go Go smiled back at him after a pause. “I really was scared, but… I feel better now, knowing it still worked. How was the bike speed?”
Hiro rolled back over onto his back to think. “It was perfect. I think if the bike had been any other structure, then it wouldn’t have been possible. It’s a special sort of speed.”
He continued before she could open her mouth to speak.
“Kinda like how you have a special sort of kindness.”
Go Go must have been softer than she thought, because a tear line formed down her cheek without her realization.
"Of course, there's always ways to improve and change the bike," he continued "but with where it's at right now, it's still pretty good. You did good."
"...Thanks, man." she smiled, wiping at her eyes and standing to ruffle his hair a bit. "It means a lot and all, so to reward you, I'm making you get rest."
Hiro laughed, obliging as he slid deeper into the covers and sank further into the sheets. "Will do…"
Go Go waited until he fell asleep before standing up and fixing to leave. She turned and muttered another "thanks" under her breath before making her way to the stairs, nearly tripping over Mochi who had come to see what was going on. Before descending, however, she noticed the empty bed on the other side of the room. She fixated on it solemnly for a while, and told it that she would work harder for him from now on.
"...We still miss you. Thank you for everything." she whispered concludingly, and not long after found herself turning into the main lobby downstairs with a sense of gentle triumph about her. As she was doing so, she nearly collided with Cass as she herself had arrived home and was heading upstairs.
"Go Go? What are you doing here?" the boy's aunt asked with understandable bewilderment. "I thought it was strange I saw an unfamiliar bike outside, but I didn't think… It's so late! Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, um…" Go Go debated on whether or not she knew about Hiro's panic attacks if he said he had been having them. Not wanting to worry his friends was one thing, but his aunt was another story. That question would soon be answered for her, though, when Cass, after a moment of thinking, suddenly had a distressed expression on her face.
She looked at Go Go with concern. "Did he have…?"
"You know about them?"
"He never told you, did he…?"
"...No."
Cass answered that by throwing her arms around Go Go tightly, sinking into her with utter relief as she sounded like she was about to cry. "Thank you… thank you so much for helping him… he started having them after… but with Baymax it's been easier… but I still wish I could do more… and I…"
Go Go simply responded to her tearful rambling by hugging her back assuredly.
"We promised we would look after him. So… don't worry so much anymore."
Go Go then left the café with a kind of sound mind she could have never dreamed of.
A few days later, Hiro had another panic attack, but things went a little differently this time.
Fred’s place was always renowned by the group in secret (they weren’t about to boost his excitable ego) for being lavish and spacious. It served as the headquarters for the team, and it was a generally comfortable place to relax and hang out. It was this kind of familiar environment where Hiro found a lot of peace— especially in such a nerve-wracking and honest situation. Opening up about it didn’t come easy either, but things could have been a lot worse.
He was seated comfortably on the couch; crouched in front of him was Wasabi, doing breathing exercises and offering comforting, gentle words. Honey Lemon sat on one side of him holding his hand, and Go Go sat on the other side rubbing his back. Missing at the time was Fred, who soon returned in a rush with a blanket and pillow in hand. Unusually, he didn’t crack any jokes or wear a smile on his face, because all that concerned him right now was the wellbeing of his friend.
Idly standing by was Baymax, who was supervising and oddly enough doing nothing to intervene or take matters into his own hands. He did provide updates on Hiro’s condition, and everyone was making good progress.
As one would suspect, they were in the middle of a type of lesson. Hiro had asked Baymax to stay back and let his friends assist him this time— he knew he could trust them not just with this information, but he could trust that they would help him.
Hiro’s attack lasted about 5 minutes this time, as opposed to the usual average of 12.5, according to Baymax.
“Hiro’s heart rate has slowed and his breathing has become less labored and rapid. This indicates that the panic attack is subsiding.” spoke Baymax, now being able to move about without issue, as he continued observing.
“Yeah… I’m… good. I’m good…” managed Hiro, a contented smile crossing his face as he let Honey Lemon lay him down onto the pillow that Fred had placed by the arm of the couch.
“We’re glad you decided to tell us, man.” Wasabi breathed a grateful sigh as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know that stuff can be hard to be honest about, but we’re here for you regardless.”
“That’s what it’s about my dudes: synergy and trust, the core of every team!! We got your back, Hiro.” exclaimed Fred, upon deeming it appropriate to do so.
“I don’t even know what to say… thanks a lot.” Hiro responded, and Go Go placed the blanket over him just as she had done a few nights before. “We’re here to help.” was her response, and his expression told her more than words needed to.
“Do you know how they happen?” Honey Lemon queried as she sat back down at his feet, having stood previously to allow him room to spread out on the couch. “If we know how they start, we may be able to at least try and prevent them…”
Hiro thought for a moment. The answer wasn’t all that clear, but he knew they always happened when he was alone, and if nothing was on his mind. It was something like not having anything to keep him occupied and thinking. As for why was beyond him, but figured that at least where they came from, so that’s what he told them.
“If you ever start getting bored, just hit one of us up. I’m sure Fred at least has nothing to do, so…” Go Go teased, prompting an offended look from the one she mentioned.
“I mean, since going to SFIT, they haven’t been happening as much. I’m busy doing what I like, and… I’m pretty happy with where I’m at right now, so I’m sure it’ll get better with time, but…” Hiro knew he couldn’t brush it off, asking for help wasn’t a mere option anymore. “...Yeah. I’ll hit you guys up if things ever get bad. Thanks.”
Go Go sat next to Honey Lemon, closer to Hiro, and patted his back in a more tender manner than she would have usually done. She whispered her own personal thank you to him, and only Hiro knew the real reason for it. Because of him, she felt more ample, and she was sure she wasn’t alone in this feeling.
Looking out for Tadashi’s brother came with a lot of doubt and emotions, not just for Go Go, but for the rest of the team as well. It was comforting to know that they were still doing a good job.
“Man, I’m hungry! How about we stop at Noodle Burger?” Fred, with his habitual energy, brought back the main dynamic into play. “I know I literally had it, like, just two days ago, but man! You just can’t go wrong with that place! So healing…”
“That does sound good! Hiro, we’ll bring you back something, okay?” Honey Lemon beamed, standing up and joining Fred as he approached to leave.
“I will stay behind to monitor Hiro’s condition.” Baymax said, unmoving whatsoever from his current position. Go Go paused to think, and decided she, too, would stay with them. She stretched her arms up, and slid down the side of the couch to the floor, leaning her back on it as she relaxed.
“I’ll stay, too. Can’t risk an ambush and all.” she lied, and it was seen right through.
“Aww, Go Go, that’s awfully sweet of you.” Wasabi commented, and Fred locked onto her immediately. “Yes!! That’s what I’m talking about, Go Go!! Amp up that big sister energy!!”
“Oh, dude, shut up.” Go Go scowled, but Hiro just laughed as he sank further into the cushions.
They all chatted casually, before Wasabi, Fred, and Honey Lemon bid the remaining three a momentary farewell. Go Go and Hiro conversed about things unimportant, with Baymax interjecting occasionally with a remark that added more comedy than aid. The young genius eventually grew tired, and soon, Go Go’s comments garnered no response. She was okay with that. Now, her attention turned to Baymax, and she proceeded to ask a bit of a dumb question (but nobody was around or awake to hear it, so she didn’t mind.)
“Hey, Baymax?” Go Go called out in a quieted voice, and his eyes focused. “You don’t feel replaced, do you? Like, Hiro’s relied on you a bunch, and, as far as you’re concerned, you’re doing your job to be helping him like this, so…”
“I cannot feel, therefore I cannot feel “replaced”. My job is to care for my patient, and Hiro has demonstrated many times that he requires companionship. Therefore, I will do what I can in order to ensure he is satisfied.” the robot answered monotonously yet equally as warming. “As such, this lesson was necessary for his mental and physical health. It is also good to learn these skills so that you can assist more people who may suffer from panic attacks in the future.”
“...I see. Kind of a weird question, but it’s been nagging at me for some reason.” Go Go’s eyes fell back on Hiro. “We’re happy to assist in his care in any way possible.”
Baymax blinked and tilted his head understandingly. “That is good.”
Go Go yawned, and stared up at the ceiling for a bit as she began spacing out. This emptiness of her led her to drift into weariness, and, just like the boy behind her, she fell asleep.
Baymax observed, saying nothing as the two of them slept. He watched over them with a sort of care that he himself didn’t notice, and didn’t deem important to be reflected on later. He recalled a video within his database. He recalled the smile within that video, the smile of the one who made him. Baymax replayed that video on his screen, pausing at the right moment. Right on his smile. It was the only way he could possibly convey what he “felt”.
There was no use thinking about the logistics of it all anyways.
With that, Baymax smiled, and was thankful.