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There was heart-shaped confetti on the table. Charlie didn’t take Mr. Lange to be the festive type, so he figured someone else had to have sprinkled the room with the shiny red plastic.
Charlie wasn’t the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day, and he had to assume this year would be worse than previous years since everyone now knew he was gay.
Over the holiday break, he had wondered if he’d have an actual Valentine this year, even though Ben hadn’t been responding to any of his messages. But once school started back up, Ben had been even more distant than usual, and Charlie’s fantasy faded. And then, well, his fantasy splintered and cracked and shattered.
A small voice in the back of his mind kept whispering that maybe someone else could be his Valentine. He did all he could to silence that voice. Yes, Nick was beautiful and sweet and funny and everything Charlie could want, but he was also straight so there was no use even entertaining the idea.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Speak of the devil. Angel. Nick was definitely an angel sent to vastly improve Charlie’s life.
Nick slid into the seat next to Charlie with the calm and cool ease that he naturally exuded. His cheeks were wind-flushed, his eyes bright and soft. Charlie couldn’t help but melt just a little.
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Charlie noticed something glinting in Nick’s hair. “Oh, you have something…”
He reached up and pulled out a piece of confetti, not dissimilar to the kind on the table, but pink and Cupid shaped. Charlie giggled as he discovered a few more pieces in Nick’s hair, brushing them out gently.
As his eyes shifted down to Nick’s face, he saw him smiling softly, cheeks a bit more flushed. Charlie cleared his throat, trying to suppress his own blush as he swiftly withdrew his hand.
“Sorry,” he mumbled and focused his attention back on the table.
Nick’s boyish laugh sounded next to him, drawing his gaze back to him. “No, thank you! Imogen decided to toss this stupid confetti all over me at the school gate this morning. Claimed it was ‘essential Valentine’s Day decoration.’”
Ah yes, Imogen. The pretty girl in Nick’s year who obviously liked him and hung out with him every morning and apparently doused him in Cupids that very morning. If that didn’t all scream “she’s his Valentine,” he didn’t know what would.
“Oh. Are you guys…?” Charlie wasn’t sure how to finish his question so he just let it hang.
Nick furrowed his brow in confusion. “Me and Imogen? Are we what?”
“Um. Are you, uh, doing anything today?”
Nick’s furrow increased. “I mean, we usually talk before school. But otherwise, we don’t really hang out.” Nick’s face brightened slightly. “Are you checking if I’m free later?”
“I… I…” Charlie was trying to confirm that, but he had no idea how to tell Nick that without fully showing his own hand.
“I am. Free later. Coach cancelled practice to take her wife on a special Valentine’s holiday.”
“Oh. Did you—“
“Okay, time to take the register.”
Form went by as normal, both boys doing some last minute revising and conversing as much as possible without getting called out. Despite how awkward Charlie had felt before, he easily settled into his rapport with Nick.
All too soon, the bell rang, signalling the end of their much too short time together. Nick looked jittery as he packed his things, eyes flitting over to Charlie more than usual.
“Are you okay?”
“What?! Yes, yeah, I’m fine. Just…” Charlie wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Nick so nervous. “Do you mind if I join you for lunch today?”
Charlie’s eyebrows shot up. “No, that would be great.”
Nick rearranged some of the papers in front of him, a massive smile overtaking his face. “Awesome! Great! Yeah, I’ll see you.”
And then he was gone, out of the room before Charlie could fully process what had happened.
He shrugged and looked down to grab his things, noticing a small envelope on the table. It said “Charlie” on the front in neat script, the letters looping aesthetically over the stationary. Confused, Charlie picked it up delicately, tucking it into his notebook for safekeeping, and left for his next class.
By the time he got to Latin, the envelope felt heavy in his arms, a mystery he needed to solve as quickly as possible. He pulled it out and looked around to make sure no one was watching him. Per usual, everyone in class seemed to be ignoring him.
He gently tore the envelope open and pulled out a card, a red border running along the outside with a small cluster of pink hearts in one corner. There wasn’t much written on the card, but Charlie still read each word with reverence.
It was signed with only a heart, clearly drawn with intention and precision. Charlie traced it with his finger, feeling his face grow hot.
Someone had left him a Valentine?
But how?! It wasn’t there when he sat down. He didn’t even think it was there when he began packing up.
Unless…
No, that was crazy. Nick had all the options in the world, he definitely wasn’t spending his time writing love notes to his nerdy seat mate.
All throughout class, Charlie kept looking down at the note, unable to hold back a smile each time. Someone had noticed him. Maybe he needed to stop spending so much time pining over a straight guy so he could see who was pining over him.
❤️
Sometimes, Charlie would run into Nick after Latin since Nick had to pass by Charlie’s locker to get from his geography class to his maths class. As much as Charlie tried to act like it didn’t matter, he found himself constantly on the lookout during his walk, hoping for a small glimpse of swoopy ginger hair or freckled cheeks.
No luck today. Nick must have stayed after class to talk to his teacher or something.
When he reached his locker, Charlie hung his note up at eye level, just so he could always remember that someone out there wanted him. It felt a bit silly, hanging up an anonymous Valentine in such a conspicuous place, but he couldn’t deny the immediate warmth that spread through him when he reread the note.
As he grabbed his maths book, something fluttered to the ground.
Another note.
It was in the same envelope with the same writing.
His heart rate increased as he knelt to pick it up. This time, he couldn’t wait, tearing it open at his locker.
The card was the same, probably part of a pack, but the message was new.
Charlie finally understood what it meant to swoon. He had to steady himself on his locker as he read the note, signed off with the same heart as the last one. Quickly, he hung this new one up next to the other one and made his way to class, lest he receive a tardy.
❤️
It was impossible to focus on logarithmic equations when he apparently had a secret admirer leaving him personalised Valentines.
But what if it was just Isaac or Tao, leaving him totally platonic friendship notes? He loved them both deeply, even if it wasn’t romantic, and saw no reason why they shouldn’t use this day to celebrate that kind of love. Except neither of them would keep it a secret, both freely giving him affection regularly. And they had their own Valentine’s tradition that was not in line with these notes.
No, these notes felt different somehow; they felt like declarations.
There was that boy in his year, James, who Charlie had noticed looking at him from time to time. But they’d never properly spoken, and the notes felt like they came from someone who had spent at least some time with Charlie.
For a fleeting moment, he considered that they could be from Ben but almost immediately dismissed that notion. Ben hadn’t been sweet and affectionate when they were actively making out every day, he certainly wasn’t going to do a complete 180 now.
What about Nick?
What about Nick, little voice in the back of Charlie’s head? Do you honestly think the most incredible person Charlie had ever met could be leaving these notes?
The ringing of the bell interrupted Charlie’s spiral, and he rushed out of the classroom as fast as possible.
❤️
No new notes appeared in his locker after the next two class periods, and he felt both relieved and disappointed.
Before making his way to the picnic tables, Charlie traced the hearts with his finger one more time, wishing he could somehow carve the movement into his skin. Someone wanted him.
Isaac was already at the table when Charlie arrived. He wordlessly slid a pink envelope over to Charlie, eyes still on his book. Charlie tucked a bookmark-sized card into the back of Isaac’s book. His friend smiled as he toyed with his dangling heart at the top of the bookmark.
Tao crash-landed at the table, tossing a heart-shaped card in front of each boy. Isaac slid a matching pink envelope to him, and Charlie handed him a card shaped like a film reel.
Wordlessly, they all read the cards, as was tradition. It felt strange to not have Elle there as well, but they’d all given her their cards before school that morning.
That was how Nick found them, all silently reading about how important they were to each other.
“Am I interrupting?”
“Yes,” Tao scoffed at the same time that Charlie exclaimed, “No!”
Nick chuckled and sat down next to Charlie, dropping his bagged lunch on the table.
“We just have a tradition every year where we give each other Valentines at the start of lunch.” Charlie gestured to the various festive notes scattered in front of each boy.
“Oh, sorry, I don’t have anything…” Nick blushed and avoided Charlie’s eyes.
“No, that’s alright! I didn’t know you’d be joining us today.”
“We also don’t have anything for you.”
“Tao!”
“What, we don’t!”
Charlie loved when Nick joined them for lunch and not just because he got to spend more time with him. He challenged Tao on his insane opinions and always made it a point to ask Isaac about his book. And he sat just a little too close to Charlie so their arms brushed with almost every movement.
Tao was ranting instead of eating, per usual. “Higgs did some kind of fundraiser where they’re giving out Valentine candy. Elle said she tried to send us some, and they said she couldn’t send any to the boys’ school.”
Nick chuckled awkwardly. “I’m kind of glad for it. I was worried Imogen would try to send me something.”
Tao raised his eyebrows, unimpressed. “Are you two not dating?”
“No!” Nick sputtered. “Do you all think that?!”
Isaac shrugged, his eyes still on his book. “I think they do. I don’t.”
Charlie smiled sheepishly at Nick. “She clearly likes you. She sprinkled you with Cupids this morning.”
Nick groaned in frustration. “I was hoping that was some kind of friend thing.”
“It could be. But it’s not to her.”
“That’s going to be awkward.”
Charlie laughed, but the reality of that statement hit him like a ton of bricks. Nick found it awkward for his friend to have a crush on him. He couldn’t make him have to turn down two people because they read something platonic as romantic.
Lunch only lasted for a few more minutes as Charlie continued to second-guess himself. Now each accidental touch felt like he was being too clingy, each time he caught Nick’s eye he worried he’d be called out for staring.
Nick nudged Charlie’s foot with his own as they were all packing up, diverting Charlie’s attention up to Nick.
“You okay?”
“Hm?”
“You got quiet when we were talking about the Imogen stuff. She’s not— we’re not— I’m not into her like that, I promise.” Nick fidgeted, stuffing his hands in his pockets briefly, withdrawing them quickly, and then fiddling with the remains of his lunch on the table.
“I believe you.”
“Okay. Okay, good.” Nick blew out a long breath. “Um, I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”
And just like that, he was gone.
Charlie watched him retreat, sighing unconsciously, so completely gone for this boy. At this point, he’d just be spending his life getting over Nick Nelson, it would seem.
Moment of pining over, he went to grab his cards from the table, only to find a third amongst them. Same envelope, same loopy “Charlie.” With shaking fingers, he picked it up, glad everyone else had already left the table so no one could see how jittery he was about a simple Valentine.
The same heart was at the bottom, which Charlie used as an anchor, something familiar to calm his racing heart.
While the other notes had definitely not seemed platonic, this note felt undeniably romantic. This was a love note. Charlie had been given a love note.
Charlie put the note back in the envelope gingerly, almost on autopilot. As he slid it in, he felt something else in the envelope. He pulled out a folded piece of notebook paper and a couple pieces of confetti.
A couple pieces of pink Cupid confetti.
Charlie swallowed nervously and opened the folded paper.
In the art room? Tao and Isaac were the only people who knew he spent time there. Well, Elle also knew, but she physically couldn’t be the one covertly leaving him Valentines.
If it had said music room, he’d be inclined to actually think they were coming from Ben. But Ben didn’t know about the art room; Charlie realised fairly early on that he needed a space where Ben couldn’t find him.
They’re obviously from Nick.
No, they are not obviously from Nick, hopeful part of Charlie’s brain! Nick is most likely straight and even if he was into guys, probably wouldn’t be into Charlie.
And yes, two of the notes had appeared while Charlie was talking to Nick, but that just meant he was distracted enough for someone else to have slipped the notes to him. Right?
❤️
The rest of the day dragged on, Charlie unable to concentrate on anything other than his mysterious messenger and the meeting happening after school. He didn’t get any more notes as the day went on and he also didn’t see Nick at all, not that those events would be at all related.
When the last bell rang, Charlie took a deep breath, gathering his things and walking to his locker slowly. Maybe he could take so long packing up that whoever was waiting for him would give up and leave. But did he actually want that?
He didn’t. He was scared, sure, but he was also excited. There was no denying the thrill those notes had given him, and he deserved to at least know who had taken all that time and effort. And who knows, maybe this is exactly what he needed to finally get over Nick.
As Charlie walked to the art room, he tried to think of all the ways this could go wrong. Of course, it could all be a prank by some homophobic bullies but choosing the art room would be odd; everyone knew Mr. Ajayi was himself gay and wouldn’t tolerate any bullying.
It could be someone who Charlie was not into at all, and he’d have to figure out how to turn him down nicely. That felt laughable though; Charlie had no right to be picky.
And it wasn’t Ben. It couldn’t possibly be Ben, not after all that had happened. Besides, he didn’t know about the art room.
Charlie stopped outside the door, taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes to centre himself. He opened his eyes as he walked through the threshold, his eyes immediately being drawn to the cascading heart streamers hanging from the ceiling.
It was beautiful.
“Mr. Ajayi helped me make them. I know it’s kind of basic stuff, but I got really in my head about it looking perfect.”
Charlie’s eyes snapped down to the owner of the voice, a voice he found himself dreaming about and wanting to hear all the time. Because there, framed by the heart decorations, a single rose in his hands, was Nick.
Nick.
Nick Nelson.
Nick Nelson had left Charlie love notes.
Nick Nelson had nervously decorated the art room with hearts for Charlie.
Nick Nelson was looking at Charlie with wide eyes full of hope and fear and adoration.
Am I dreaming? Charlie wanted to say. Or maybe: Is this a prank? Potentially: You know you sent those notes to me, right?
But what he ended up saying was: “How do you know Mr. Ajayi?”
Nick chuckled and blushed. “I was looking for you one day at lunch, and Isaac mentioned you sometimes ate here. When I got here, you weren’t here, but Mr. Ajayi clocked me right away.” Nick smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve been talking with him about… stuff. When I started having feelings for you, I didn’t know what to make of that. Mr. Ajayi has helped a lot.”
Charlie gaped at him. “Feelings? For me? You have feelings for me?”
Nick chuckled, reddening even more as he gestured to the room. “Was that not obvious?”
“I— I—“
“You thought I was straight?” Charlie nodded guiltily. “Yeah, so did I. Straight has always just seemed like the default, but I know now that that’s not true. There’s not just gay and straight, either. I don’t know what I am, but Mr. Ajayi reassured me that feelings don’t always have to lead immediately to a label. Sometimes you like a boy, and that’s all you really know.”
“And I’m the boy you like?”
Nick took a few steps closer to Charlie, close enough now that Charlie could make out the individual freckles on his cheeks. “Yeah. You are. You really, really are.”
Charlie took a step forward. “Oh.”
Nick fiddled with the flower in his hand. “Do, uh, you like me?”
Charlie furrowed his brow, thoroughly confused. “Obviously. You’re you.”
“What does that mean?” Nick laughed.
“It means that you’re basically the coolest, nicest, fittest person in this school. But you’re also so funny and sweet and I can talk to you for hours and never run out of things to say. Of course I like you.”
They were toe-to-toe now, Nick’s feet bracketing Charlie’s, faces only inches apart. “Did you like my notes?”
Charlie’s stomach flipped several times at the softness and hope in Nick’s voice. “They’re amazing. I never thought something so romantic would happen to me.”
“I meant every word.” Nick lifted up the rose. “I also got you this. It’s so cheesy, but everything I read said to give your Valentine a rose.”
“Valentine, huh?” Charlie smiled cheekily as he took the rose, lifting it to his nose to give it a sniff. “I don’t recall being asked to be anyone’s Valentine.”
Nick’s face turned impossibly red. “I guess I forgot that bit.”
“Mm,” Charlie hummed, smiling up at Nick.
“Charlie, will you please, please, be my Valentine?”
“Hmm.” Charlie tapped his chin pretending to think it over. “On one condition.”
“Anything,” Nick breathed.
“Kiss me.” Charlie could hear his heart pounding in his chest, but the smile Nick gave in response to his request eased any lingering insecurities he had.
“Gladly.”
It wasn’t a perfect kiss, both angled just a bit off and noses squished against cheeks. Charlie spent too long deciding what to do with his hands, and Nick accidentally kicked Charlie’s foot in his excitement.
But once their lips met, once they finally connected, everything else faded away. It was perfect, maybe not technically, but Charlie felt light and happy and complete, a mess of feelings he never even thought possible.
And then Nick tilted his head just slightly, brought his arms to encircle Charlie’s waist, opened his mouth just a bit more, and it became perfect in every way. Charlie threw his arms around Nick’s shoulders and played with the small hairs on the back of his neck and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him.
Some time later, maybe days, maybe years, maybe centuries, a knock rang out in the room, causing both boys to pull back reluctantly.
“Boys, I’m coming in now.” Mr. Ajayi appeared in the doorway, a smirk on his face as he took in their flushed cheeks and askew ties and messy hair. “Ah, I see things went well?”
Nick cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, things went well.”
“I’m glad. You’re both welcome to stay here and enjoy this space for the afternoon, but I will be at my desk. Consider me your chaperone.”
While they didn’t have the chance to make out again that afternoon, they did get to spend it together, talking and laughing and admiring one another. Nick grabbed Charlie’s hand at one point, his thumb stroking over his knuckles, sending shivers through him. It felt like a date, like something Charlie only dreamed he’d get to have with Nick. But here they were, tucked in the corner of the beautifully decorated art room, able to be each other’s Valentines.