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When Kuramochi Youichi envisions his final year at Seidou, he doesn’t have many expectations. He has no vision of what the year will bring. Sure, he anticipates going to Nationals with his team the same as he does every year. And while the previous losses hurt beyond any kind of injury Youichi has sustained in a fight, the win, he learns, feels so… good .
As a third year, the desperation had been higher than ever, in both him and Miyuki and all of the others who recognized this as their final shot. And with their desperation as fuel, they managed to win against Inashiro in the summer tournament.
Not without the help of their second-year underclassmen, no less.
One of whom—despite the exhaustion from yesterday—still manages to be the loudest sleep-talker on the planet.
Even from the other bunk, Youichi still wakes to the sudden outburst at 5:52 in the morning, immediately regretting the late night he had with his teammates playing Mario Kart after their win. Every time he tries to close his eyes and fall back asleep, Sawamura manages yet another sleep spasm. While Youichi considers throwing a pillow at him (it wouldn’t be the first time), he decides to instead get up, change into loungewear, and wash up to begin his relaxation plans. It’s their day off, and he will use it as such. Or at least, he’ll try to, with the disruptive roommate he has.
His disruptive roommate who, despite his quirks, managed to worm his way into the thick confines of Youichi’s heart.
Having Sawamura as a roommate has always been… interesting. But at the same time, it’s become deeply comforting. When Youichi finds himself amongst silence, sinking into bad thoughts that he knows he shouldn’t entertain, Sawamura is always there to quickly snatch up the quiet and bring welcomed noise. And while his teammates always mention how much of Sawamura he puts up with, Youichi thinks it’s reversed. He feels like Sawamura always has to put up with him.
All of the wrestling, fighting, yelling, is, of course, Youichi’s way of showing love and respect for his fellow teammate. And Sawamura doesn’t mind it. Youichi knows for a fact he would have said something if he didn’t. So he isn’t really too bothered by what other people may or may not see. Their roommate relationship couldn’t have worked out better, Youichi thinks. For how dysfunctional it looks, it’s actually quite harmonic.
When he returns from brushing his teeth, both Asada and Sawamura are awake. Sawamura is standing and changing his shirt and Asada is looking particularly groggy in bed.
“Why are you guys up?” he says, tidying up his side of the room.
“Couldn’t sleep,” Sawamura answers, and that’s when Youichi turns back to find him stretching, tracksuit on and bed head in full effect.
“I think I’m going to go back to sleep,” Asada murmurs, before he hides himself under the covers. Youichi doesn’t pay him any mind as he focuses on Sawamura.
“Are you going on a run?” he asks.
“Yes, I am.”
“No. You’re not,” Youichi says, tugging on Sawamura’s shirt collar as he heads to the door. Sawamura grumbles in protest.
“Kuramochi,” he whines. “I have too much energy to go back to sleep. I’m not like Asada.”
Asada scuffles around in his bed, but he neglects to respond. Smart kid.
“Do I need to remind you that we won yesterday and were told to rest?”
Sawamura blinks, tilting his head. He looks like a goddamn puppy. “Then why are you awake?”
Youichi scowls. “Because a certain roommate of mine would not shut up and let me sleep. So now I’m awake.”
Sawamura purses his lips, pausing. “Well, do you want to join me on the run?”
“No,” Youichi deadpans. “As a matter of fact, I am permitting you from going as—“
“Kuramochi!”
"As your captain," he says, thumping Sawamura’s forehead. “And because you’re an idiot for even trying.”
Sawamura pouts, crossing his arms as he plops into Youichi’s desk chair in an act of defiance.
“Fine,” he says. Youichi rolls his eyes as he swerves around him to quietly tidy up his desk and bed so he can relax for the day in peace.
Comfortable silence coats the room for about 20 seconds before Sawamura breaks it.
“What are you doing today, then?”
Youichi sighs, glancing at Asada’s sleeping form before he gives up on cleaning to drag Sawamura out of there.
“It’s six in the morning, you know,” Youichi says, closing the door behind him. “Normal people deserve to sleep.”
“Normal people didn’t win the summer tournament yesterday!” Sawamura exclaims, unable to hide the grin on his face. Youichi feels his own lips turn up at the fresh memory.
“Yeah, yeah,” Youichi says. “Let’s go get some breakfast then.”
They walk to the corner store after Sawamura brushes his teeth. He uses this time to recap every single thing that happened yesterday (even though Youichi was there for all of it), in the refreshing stillness of the summer morning. The sun is still rising, and there are close to no people around them, besides early commuters.
Once they reach the store, both of them squint at the small lettering on the closed door listing the times of operation. The store opens in 20 minutes.
Youichi sighs, turning away from the sign and sticking his hands in his pockets. Sawamura scans the text once more before turning to Youichi.
“What now?” he says. Youichi shrugs. 20 minutes isn’t too long.
“We can just wait,” he says, plopping down on the bench to the side of the entrance. “It’s not too long till they open.”
Sawamura nods, dropping down right next to Youichi. Their thighs are snug up against each other and Youichi eyes the place where they touch. Warmth radiates from Sawamura’s leg.
He’s about to point out the lack of distance to Sawamura with a reminder of personal space, but he notices that Sawamura thinks nothing of the contact as he sits and watches the undisturbed road in front of them, eyes bright with energy even as he sits in silence.
Youichi leans back against the bench to study Sawamura. Despite the dark circles under his eyes, he seems to be fully awake. His hair has gotten longer since summer training began, and the bedhead in the back makes his fluffy hair stick every which way. The nape of his neck curves down and disappears into his white T-shirt (which actually happens to be Youichi’s band shirt, but that’s a different matter), and stretches out into his broad back which has only grown since his journey at Seidou started two years ago.
Sawamura has matured a lot. And Youichi has somehow been there to witness it all.
He presses his thigh into Sawamura’s in a nudge. Sawamura turns to look at him.
“You’re wearing my shirt.”
Sawamura looks down at his chest, where the washed-out band logo paints the front. Confusion crosses his furrowed brows.
“This is our shirt,” he says. Youichi frowns.
“Since when?”
“Since that one time you let me borrow it!”
Youichi scoffs. The nerve of this guy.
“Plus we both like the band, so we should share! Right?”
Youichi throws his hands behind his head as he leans further back. The logic is anything but sound.
And yet, still he relents, as he always tends to do when Sawamura Eijun is involved.
“Yeah, fine, whatever.”
After they each buy their respective breakfast items—a canned coffee for Youichi and a taro bread for Sawamura—they walk back together and Sawamura says, “What next?”
Youichi turns his head to look at him, mid-sip. “What?”
“If I can’t do anything but rest today, I need to stay occupied!” Sawamura explains between bites. “We should do something together!”
“We just did,” Youichi deadpans.
“Something else!”
Youichi face palms. “You don’t want to bother someone else today?”
“No, not really,” Sawamura answers. Youichi feels a weird amusement bubble in his chest, and he laughs.
“Of course,” he says. “Well, after breakfast debriefing with Coach, my plan was to do nothing. Besides gaming. Maybe meet up with Miyuki at some point.”
“Sounds fun,” Sawamura says, finishing up his bread. “I’m in!”
Youichi shakes his head, eyeing his roommate. Small crumbs of bread and taro line his face. Without thinking, Youichi stops them so he can clean them off with a quick swipe of his palm. Sawamura blinks in surprise, and his cheeks turn red. Youichi notices his reaction and turns away.
“You had crumbs on your face,” he grumbles, ignoring the warmth that suddenly permeates his face. “You’re welcome.”
After a celebratory breakfast with the rest of their team, everyone is in high spirits. Kataoka reminds the players of practice starting up again tomorrow, and that if anyone was caught practicing today, they wouldn’t be able to participate tomorrow. Youichi sends Sawamura a pointed look and he waves him off.
In between Sawamura and Youichi is Miyuki, who looks at the exchange with a raised brow.
“What did Sawamura do?” he teases knowingly.
“Nothing!” Sawamura answers. Youichi laughs.
“I caught him trying to go on a run at six this morning.”
"Six?" Miyuki repeats in shock. Ever the sleeping beauty, Miyuki can’t imagine getting up that early on a day off. “Why were you awake at six?”
Youichi shrugs, tracing his chopsticks across his empty rice bowl. Miyuki still stares at him, waiting for a more concrete answer.
“Miyuki, we won yesterday,” he says, still letting the feeling of it sink in. “I could barely sleep.”
“That’s exactly why I felt like I could rest easy last night,” Miyuki says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Well, you’re just weird then,” Youichi murmurs, standing up from his seat. Miyuki uncrosses his arms.
“Hey!”
Youichi opts to ignore him, waving him off as he puts his dishes in the washing area. As he’s about to leave the room, Sawamura yells after him.
“Kuramochi!” he says, scrambling to put his own plate away amidst an argument with Furuya. Youichi keeps walking, hands in his pockets as the door closes behind him.
Huffing as he makes his own exit, Sawamura is quick to catch up to him, hand dropping onto Youichi’s shoulder as he attempts to catch his breath.
“Our plans,” Sawamura says. “We had plans.”
“Did we?” Youichi says, looking at the calloused hand still on his shoulder. Being hunched over, Sawamura is able to look up at Youichi, instead of their usual height difference that has Youichi looking up at him.
“We did!” he argues. Youichi tilts his head toward the direction of their dorm room.
“Alright, let’s go then,” Youichi says, which prompts Sawamura to drop his hand from his shoulder. He follows after him like a dog, nearly vibrating with excitement. Youichi stops suddenly, causing Sawamura to crash into his backside and he cackles before he continues his stride.
When they reach the room, Youichi unlocks it with his key and they both enter together. He makes a beeline for his console, pressing the button to turn it on as he grabs some pillows to lay in front of the screen for him and Sawamura to rest on.
Even though Sawamura literally lives in the room, he surveys Youichi’s makeshift layout with unease. Youichi looks up from where he’s sitting cross-legged, expectantly. He pats the space and Sawamura takes that invitation to scramble next to his roommate.
“I was going to play Breath of the Wild, but since you’re here, I guess we can play something together.”
Sawamura shakes his head. “I can watch!”
Youichi squints at him, but he grabs his single-person controller regardless as he puts in the game card.
Sawamura “just watching” sounds about as plausible as Youichi playing in complete silence. He needs to yell at the screen to process what’s going on and Sawamura will always have comments.
As he sits back, Sawamura sits back with him, and now their knees bump as he waits for the game to load. Youichi eyes the point where their legs touch before he focuses on the screen again.
Along with comments, Sawamura has plenty of questions.
“Is that your horse?”
“That’s the bad guy?”
“That’s your outfit?”
Youichi answers them as well as he can, given that he’s still attacked as he plays and under a lot of stress.
It’s only when he finishes a checkpoint (after dying multiple times), that Sawamura’s next question sticks out to him.
“Can I try?”
Youichi pauses the game, raising his brow as he lowers his controller to his lap.
“You want to try? After you just saw me die a million times?”
“Yeah, it looks fun!” Sawamura says. Youichi hesitates. “Just for a few minutes?”
“Fine,” Youichi grumbles, handing him the controller. He crosses his arms as he watches Sawamura as Link on the screen, walking in a zig-zag as he tries to figure out the controls. His tongue sticks out in concentration as he walks through a town, trying out the different moves that Link can do. He quickly makes it out of the town and into the woods, just as the sun goes down in the game, and Youichi shifts in his seat with unease. At night, especially in the woods, monsters randomly come out and attack, and Youichi personally thinks Sawamura isn’t ready for that.
“Wait, Sawamura,” he says, sitting up as his roommate continues his in-game trek. Youichi attempts to grab the controller from him, but Sawamura pulls it out of his reach.
“What?” he says, eyes flicking from Youichi to the game.
“You’re leaving the town,” he says, reaching further for the controller. Sawamura continues to hold it away, and now Youichi can see the mischief glittering in his eyes. He squints. “You’re going to get attacked.”
“I can handle them!” Sawamura says, now using one hand to hold the controller as far away as he can. Youichi scowls, but he doesn’t let up.
That is, until his arm that propped him up gives out on him, and he stumbles. Sawamura, as constant and unyielding as a boulder, blinks, now looking directly at Youichi as they both seem to realize their proximity.
From this close, Youichi can see every single detail on his roommates face; from the sun-painted freckles to the way his nostrils flare in exertion from their tussle. His eyes are wide, still blinking slow and unsure, as they dart down to Youichi’s lips. As he notices the subtle look, Youichi can’t help the way his own gaze drifts downwards to Sawamura’s full lips, pink and dry until he runs his tongue along the bottom. There’s a weird, unpredictable shift in the energy of the room, and Youichi wonders if it’s just him imagining it.
What the fuck?
Youichi pulls away, clearing his throat as he focuses back on the screen, where the “Game Over” screen reflects Link’s demise.
“I guess I died,” Sawamura mutters, pouting as he hands the controller back to Youichi.
“Yeah, just like I said,” Youichi says back, staring at the screen to avoid looking at Sawamura and his burning cheeks that mirror Youichi’s own. “It’s bad to go into the woods at night.”
“Noted,” Sawamura says, shifting again so just their knees are in contact. Youichi tries to focus back on the screen, where he was teleported to his last checkpoint, but he finds it harder to concentrate with Sawamura sitting right next to him in complete silence.
Because a quiet Sawamura is always a concern. Youichi knows that all too well.
Although, this concern bubbles up in a foreign way. It doesn’t leave him with dread so much as it leaves him with… intrigue?
When he dies again in the game, he decides to sit back and take a breather. Sawamura has fallen suspiciously quiet, but Youichi realizes once he looks over that it’s because he’s fallen asleep against the pillows. Little snores leave his mouth as a tiny trail of drool begins to form—on Youichi’s spare pillow.
He sighs.
“Sawamura,” he calls, poking his side. Sawamura’s brows furrow as he swats Youichi’s hand away and curls even further into the ground.
The ground. Who comfortably sleeps on the ground? He pokes again.
“You’re gonna mess up your back,” he says. “C’mon get up.”
Sawamura moans his dissent, grabbing onto Youichi’s arm to stop his poking attempts. He keeps the grip tight, and Youichi sits and waits for him to let go, until he somehow drifts back to sleep, cuddling Youichi’s arm. Youichi facepalms, taking in his roommate’s sleeping form. He’s so… peaceful.
Youichi uses this moment to comfortably lie next to him, adjusting so that Sawamura can still grip his arm in his sleep. He lays on his back while Sawamura stays on his side, and he turns his neck to look at him. His mouth is ajar, and his dark eyelashes fan across his cheeks. His fluffy bed head seems to only get worse as he snuggles deeper into the pillow. Youichi traces the lines of his face, down his neck, over his shoulder, and down his side. All the little details of Sawamura that he never fails to notice.
Except right now, there are no bright brown eyes looking back at him.
He turns away, feeling his cheeks warm up. What is he doing? He can’t just watch his roommate sleep. Especially when he’s so close.
As he lays there, staring up at the ceiling and listening to Sawamura’s quiet breaths, he feels his own eyelids lower in exhaustion. It’s probably nearing mid-morning at this point, and he’s already been up for a few hours. A small cat nap wouldn’t hurt, right?
He closes his own eyes and easily falls asleep.
Youichi wakes up to the sound of their dorm room opening. He stirs, grogginess keeping him from looking up right away, until he notices the new position he and Sawamura are sleeping in.
They had both managed to turn on their sides at some point, but now Sawamura curls into Youichi’s chest as his leg rests in between both of Youichi’s. Youichi’s arm is tossed haphazardly over Sawamura’s shoulder, and his other arm is limp from the pressure of being squished underneath him. The many pillows Youichi laid out earlier are scattered around them. To top it all off, beads of sweat trail down Youichi’s neck, likely a combination of the close proximity mixed with the heat of summer.
Before Youichi can really register his awakeness, he pulls away, peeling their limbs from each other as he sits up.
Both Asada and Miyuki stand in their room now with varying expressions. Asada, shy as always, fumbles with his keys as he looks away with blushing cheeks. Miyuki, annoying as always, smirks as he proudly crosses his arms over his chest, entertained by the image in front of him.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he says, laughter laced in his tone. “Or should I say, sleeping beauties?”
Youichi looks over to Sawamura, who has understandably awoken with the noise and movement. He rubs his eyes, confused.
“Morning,” he mumbles.
Youichi stands from his spot on the floor, rolling out his neck with a wince from the stiffness of sleeping on the floor. He cracks his bones, before gathering up all of the pillows and tossing them back to their respective homes. As he dusts himself off, he walks over to Miyuki, who watches the entire kerfuffle.
“What’s up?” he says to Miyuki, trying to pretend like Miyuki and Asada didn’t just walk in on him and Sawamura cuddling in their sleep. Miyuki’s eyes dart between him and Sawamura.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he quips so that only Youichi can hear, which results in a scowl.
“Miyuki Kazuya!” Sawamura says, standing up and barreling over once he’s finally fully conscious. He bows. “What brings you to our humble abode?”
“This guy,” Miyuki says, pointing his thumb at Youichi. “I hadn’t heard from him, and I was starting to get worried.” Youichi scoffs at the concept of Miyuki ever being worried about him. “Though I guess he was… busy.”
Sawamura nods, none the wiser, scratching sheepishly at his neck. “We were playing a game and I fell asleep! Haha!”
“You mean you both fell asleep,” Miyuki corrects, smirking. Sawamura looks over at Youichi to confirm.
“Yeah, I fell asleep too,” he admits to Sawamura’s surprise. He doesn’t mention the arm grabbing or the cuddling, or, worse, the proximity.
“Like I said,” Miyuki says in a sigh. “Sleeping beauties.”
“Whatever,” Youichi grumbles as he pulls on his shoes. “Let’s go.”
“Where are you going?” Sawamura asks.
“We’re just gonna chat,” Youichi says. “I’ll be back later.”
As he turns to wave to both of his roommates, he catches Sawamura’s pout, and his heart twists with an unheeded tenderness.
When he returns from his debrief with Miyuki about yesterday’s game, a few hours have passed. As he unlocks his dorm door so he can flop onto his bed and rest, he’s met with a sleeping Sawamura in the same place they fell asleep together, and he scowls.
“I tried to wake him up,” Asada says quietly from his spot on his bed as he does something on his phone. “But he wouldn’t budge.”
Sawamura is sleeping like a rock, fully sprawled out as he usually is, drooling on—of course—Youichi’s spare pillow.
“Hey,” Youichi calls. After toeing his shoes off, he walks over to gently kick Sawamura's side. That seems to work. “Get up.”
Sawamura mumbles and grumbles before he gets up. He stretches long and tall, and Youichi’s shirt rides up and exposes his midriff. Youichi’s eyes dart away from the skin and hair there, and he makes himself busy by picking up his spare pillow.
Sawamura lets out a huge, loud yawn.
“Were you asleep the entire time I was gone?” he asks.
“No!” Sawamura says, pouting at the claim. “I read for a bit. Then I got tired and fell asleep.”
“You nap a lot.”
“I didn’t sleep much last night!”
“Neither did I,” Youichi grumbles. He is tired. But resting doesn’t always come easy during the day for him. Plus he’s needed to keep Sawamura busy and talk with Miyuki. He’s too popular for his own good.
“You should take a nap, Kuramochi-senpai,” Sawamura says, following his movements.
“I’ll think about it,” Youichi says, rubbing a hand over his face as he slumps into his desk chair. He looks through his fingers to Sawamura. “And you? No longer bored?”
Sawamura shrugs. “I might go hang out with Furuya.”
Youichi squints. “No baseball training involved, right?”
“Correct!” Sawamura salutes. Youichi hums.
“Well, good,” he says. Then, he realizes he doesn’t want Sawamura to go yet, so he adds, “I’ll nap later. Gaming first.”
Sawamura pauses, hand dropping from his salute as he glances away—just for a moment.
“The same game?”
Youichi furrows his brow. “Maybe? Why?”
“Because I wanna watch!”
Youichi shakes his head, but his chest blooms with joy.
“Alright, alright,” Youichi says, throwing the pillows down onto the floor and powering up the console again. “But don’t fall asleep again!”
By the time evening rolls around, Youichi’s and Sawamura’s eyes are bloodshot from staring intently at the screen and most of his teammates have congregated in his room and taken over the console to play Mario Kart instead. Youichi hasn’t really moved from his spot leaning back on the pillows, but Sawamura has stood up and has teamed up with Furuya to bother Miyuki about how he did in yesterday’s game. Haruichi pulls them both back to no avail. Miyuki throws him a pleading look, which he smirks at and turns back to the television.
A sudden yell from behind makes him jump, as Zono ends up in second place, right behind Kawakami, who shrugs with a sheepish grin. Youichi glares at Zono, opting to move away from the human bullhorn to preserve his hearing.
He stands up from his spot, at the protest of those trying to watch the screen, and moves away to stretch, waving them all off in the process with a reminder that it’s his console they’re using.
They all grumble back in response.
When he turns and walks closer to the side of the room with the bunks, he jingles some spare change in his pocket.
I could go for a drink.
He plans to ask one of his underclassmen to get it for him, but the only ones in sight are the ones too nice to ask. Oh, and Sawamura. The choice becomes obvious.
“Sawamura,” he calls. Sawamura looks up from where he and Furuya seem to be comparing thumb sizes. “Go buy me a drink.”
“Kuramochi-senpai,” Sawamura whines, shoulders drooping as he speaks, always using senpai when he is trying to get something out of him. It both frustrates Youichi and sparks a fondness in his chest every time. “Ask someone else. Your ace is tired. Hahaha!”
His boisterous laugh fills the space as he sits tall and proud of his stellar excuse. Youichi just stares, dumbfounded at his roommate’s overactive demeanor while he’s “tired.”
“No,” Youichi says.
“I’ll go,” Furuya offers, thumb still held out in an unmoving position, waiting for Sawamura. Youichi raises a brow, then sighs.
“No, it’s fine, I’ll go,” he says, waving him off. Furuya’s thumb wavers, just a fraction, but he nods.
As he reaches the door, he hears, “I’ll go with you!”
Sawamura bounds up to him, and Youichi nearly throws him in a headlock.
“I just asked you to go for me!” he yells, exasperated.
“Yeah, but that’s different from going with you.”
Somehow that makes heat rise in Youichi’s cheeks, so he turns away and surrenders, as he always does with Sawamura Eijun.
Silence coats them as soon as Youichi closes the door behind them. Muffled voices still filter through the door, but not too much.
Youichi leads the way to the closest vending machine, walking underneath the yellow lights that line the outside of the dorms. The machine is pretty close, so Sawamura coming with him was especially useless.
Besides, well, the subdued air that always comes with the time they spend alone.
“You didn’t need to come with me,” Youichi grumbles as he counts out the money in his pocket. They both stand next to the machine, but Sawamura decides to lean up against it and survey Youichi.
“I wanted to,” he says, like there was no choice in the matter. Youichi looks at Sawamura through quick glances as he continues counting. Sawamura’s gaze seems to be exploring Youichi, from the hands that count his change, to the ungelled hair that rests on top of his head, and to the sandals at his feet.
“What?” Youichi says, unable to bear the weight of what those intense eyes may be finding in their exploration.
“Kuramochi-senpai,” says Sawamura in a tone that causes him to look up. Their eyes meet, and it makes Youichi’s stomach twist with a suppressed yearning.
Sawamura pushes away from the machine and stands in front of Youichi. Their height difference becomes more pronounced, but Youichi doesn’t waver in his stance as he clutches the change in hand at his side. If anything, the proximity lures him in deeper to that unacknowledged wish, that part of him that he refuses to explore.
“What is it?” he says after the pause is too long and he grows impatient. Ignoring the spattering of freckles that line the bridge of Sawamura's nose, and his chapped lips that remain in a focused line, proves difficult when they’re so close. It reminds him of earlier in the day, when they were just as close—if not closer—with no one around but them.
“I thought about kissing you today.”
Youichi jumps, moving backwards a few centimeters.
“W-What?” he says, perplexed by the admission. Sawamura nods, confirming his words.
“During Breath of the Wild,” he says. Youichi swallows. So it wasn’t just him that felt the weird shift when they were wrestling for the controller. “But I thought you were going to kiss me first so I waited, but then you didn’t.”
Youichi blinks. “What gave you that idea?”
“You looked at my mouth when we were so close!” he exclaims. “That’s the universal sign for ‘I want to kiss you right now.’”
“And how would you even know that?!” Youichi yells back, to avoid what he apparently did earlier.
“Shojo manga!”
Youichi facepalms. “Of course.”
“So you didn’t want to kiss me?” Sawamura asks, and he deflates right in front of Youichi’s eyes. Youichi raises a brow.
“Did you want me to kiss you?” Youichi asks.
“Well, yeah,” Sawamura says, as if it’s such an obvious answer. He looks at Youichi bashfully through his lashes, cheeks red and puffed out in a cute little pout. A long stretch of silence passes over them as Youichi neglects to respond, due to his shock. “Kuramochi?”
“Sorry,” he says, running his fingers through his hair. He traces the vending machine in thought as he struggles to meet Sawamura’s eyes. “I’m just… processing.”
It’s not that he hasn’t thought about kissing Sawamura. He definitely has both consciously and unconsciously, but he never fathomed that it would ever be reciprocated. Even with all of the touching and closeness, he always knew that was just Sawamura being Sawamura, and as roommates, they have always been closer.
“Good processing or bad processing?” Sawamura says, which makes Youichi chuckle and take a look at his underclassman roommate, with all his height and his excited energy and his sunflower spirit.
“Good,” he answers. “I think.”
Sawamura nods, confused, but he doesn’t respond, so Youichi keeps going.
“I don’t know. Is it good that I want to kiss you?”
Sawamura’s head snaps up with a small gasp. His eyes are full of wonder and question as Youichi glances at his lips and takes a step closer. There’s still enough space between them that it’s not too intimate, but that single step is enough for Sawamura to follow in his tracks and take a step of his own.
“It is good,” he answers, so quietly despite his usually loud demeanor. Youichi revels in the staticky silence that crosses between them as they both take another step closer. It feels so foreign to be this close to Sawamura on purpose—with purpose—to do something as unfamiliar as kissing him.
Youichi’s head tilts up to account for Sawamura’s height, and he watches in real time as Sawamura licks his lips and blinks his big brown eyes in anticipation. Youichi can’t help the way his heart pounds in response.
And before Youichi can so much as lean in, Sawamura grabs the front of his shirt in fistfuls of fabric, and pulls him in for a sloppy, harsh, Sawamura kiss.
Youichi’s eyes widen for a moment in surprise, before he places his hands on Sawamura’s shoulders, tilts his head, and deepens the kiss with practiced ease.
Youichi is the last person to know about how to properly kiss someone. But he does know Sawamura, and that seems to take precedence as he feels Sawamura’s shoulders sink with Youichi’s touch. An exhale escapes his nose as he relaxes into the kiss, and Youichi nearly laughs. He should have expected that Sawamura’s approach to kissing would exactly mirror his personality: moving forward with unwavering, unfettered confidence, despite any semblance of skill in the matter at hand.
When Sawamura deepens the kiss with a tiny, eager sigh, Youichi feels his stomach knot with the craving to hear that same sound again and again. His grip on Sawamura’s shoulders tightens as the younger of the two attempts to push him up against the vending machine for purchase. Youichi pulls away by pushing on his shoulders.
He’s gonna reprimand Sawamura for even trying to push him up against any kind of hard surface, when he catches Sawamura’s cloudy gaze and pink cheeks.
“Sawamura?” Youichi says, unsure. Sawamura meets his eyes and licks his lips. The same eagerness in his eyes about baseball that Youichi is so familiar with is now directed solely at him and it throws him off for a moment. “You all right?”
Sawamura nods and takes a step back, causing Youichi’s hands to slip from his shoulders. He scratches at his neck, brow furrowed, before he relaxes and smiles at Youichi.
“Yeah, I’m alright,” he proclaims, still smiling. Youichi nods slowly, before he turns away.
“Okay,” he says. “I’m gonna grab a drink now.”
He’s trying not to make a big deal out of one kiss because it could easily mean nothing but what it is—a kiss. But the part of him that trembles as he punches his drink number into the vending machine begs to differ.
“Kuramochi,” Sawamura says as the drink falls to the opening and Youichi bends down to pick it up before he turns to his roommate, waiting. “I’m thinking about kissing you again.”
Youichi laughs as he twists the cap off of his drink, in awe at Sawamura.
“Are you going to announce that every time you feel it now?”
Sawamura seriously considers Youichi’s rhetorical question, and nods.
“Yes, I am,” he says. “How will I be able to kiss you otherwise?”
“By asking?” Youichi suggests, rolling his eyes with a fond warmth in his chest. He doesn’t know what this means for their relationship, but he doesn’t really care at the present moment. Taking a step closer, he drops his free hand onto the nape of Sawamura’s neck, as he leans in. “You could also just…”
Youichi leans in, locking their lips together for just a moment, before he pulls back.
“Do that,” he finishes, before he steps back. Sawmaura stares at him in awe, as if he’s just revealed the secrets of the universe, and Youichi has to look away. It’s as overwhelming to have Sawamura’s undivided attention as it is gratifying.
“Okay,” Sawamura says, breathes out, really. His eyes dart down to the drink in Youichi’s grip, and Youichi watches in real time as mischief flashes in his irises. “Can I have a sip?”
Youichi rolls his eyes, but he extends his drink out to Sawamura, who takes it with an contagious grin.
Saying no to Sawamura has never been easy, but now, somehow, Youichi feels miraculously reassured in that reality.