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The deep bass guitar chugga-chugs like a train, and the trumpets roll through the tinny speakers of the small, ocean-blue radio. The deep, southern voice echoes through it.
*** The taste of love is sweet
When hearts like ours meet ***
The sea waves crash in the distance, the gulls huoh-ing in the sky, the wind whistling through the kitchen windows that are perpetually open.
*** I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the fire went wild ***
Mobius – his white sleeves shoved to his elbows – rolls his low, southern drawl with the radio as he chops carrots in the kitchen window.
*** I fell into a burnin’...***
“... ring of fire. I went down, down, down! And the flames went higher.”
Mobius feels a brush at his neck, almost like a bug. He claps his neck, then moves to the next row. He slices the onion in half.
“... burns, burns, burns!”
TWITCH. There it is again. Mobius shoots a look at Loki’s cat, who, despite all of Mobius’ gentle chastising, refuses to lay anywhere *but* on the counter. Prince, the tuxedo rescue cat, simply stares judgementally at Mobius… almost like he is smirking.
Mobius rolls his eyes, settling it to the back of his mind. It must be his imagination. He continues chopping the onion.
“... the ring of…”
TWITCH.
Mobius swats his bare arm. Is he going insane?
“... fi…re…”
TWITCH!
Mobius doesn’t react this time.
“...ring of…”
TWITCH!
Mobius drops the knife in the sink, lunging.
*** … fahr… ***
“A-ha!” Mobius shouts triumphantly, the feather snatched in his fist.
The feather is attached to string… which is attached to a long stick… held in slender fingers… connecting all the way up to a crinkled face.
Loki grins devilishly.
“Gimme that!” Mobius snatches for the stick. Loki darts it just out of reach. Mobius lunges ineffectually again but loses the feather in the process. He laughs at himself, shaking his head. “C’mon! I thought I was goin’ crazy!”
“If the feather is what you desire,” Loki grins, winking. “You’ll have to catch me first, *Agent* Mobius.”
“That’s a cat toy!!” Mobius protests.
Too late. Loki has already sprinted off through the open, airy beach house. Mobius rolls his eyes, shooting an exasperated look at Prince – Why don’t *you* get it?? – then tears off down the halls.
“You ASS!!” Mobius smirks as he charges after the guffawing Loki.
—-
Mobius tackles Loki on the King-size bed, kissing him and tugging the cat toy out of his hands. Loki giggles his deep *ehehehehe* beneath him, then pushes up, wrapping Mobius in his arms. They press their foreheads together, their smile lines crinkling, their matching, humble gold rings shining.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, love,” Loki whispers.
Mobius blinks. “We’re celebrating Valentine’s Day?”
Loki shrugs happily. “You said you wanted to experience human life. Part of that is participating in highly commercialized yet hela romantic holidays. I’m surprised you *don’t* have it on your bucket list.”
“Okie,” Mobius grins, already convinced. “What do we do?”
“Depends,” Loki plays. “What do you want?”
Mobius thinks for a moment. “It’s a romantic day? For couples?”
Loki slides his hand across Mobius’ stomach suggestively. “It is.”
“Date night is a must,” Mobius nuzzles him playfully. “But, after that, I have everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“There must be something,” Loki prods slyly.
Mobius thinks for another moment. “You’re… right. Ya know what I want?”
“What do you want, King Mobius cubed?”
“I wanna give other people Valentines,” Mobius grins. “It shouldn’t be a romantic day. It should just be, ‘tell the people you love, you love them’ type o’ day.”
Loki smirks. “UNbelievable. That is what would make you happy?”
“Yah,” Mobius grins. “We could do a Roxxcart Heist, deliver candy to the TVA – s’cuse me – TV*R*A, do some matchmaking.”
“I do like heists,” Loki muses.
“Then date night afterward,” Mobius finishes enthusiastically. “You pick where. Sound like a plan?”
Loki grins. “Sounds like the best plan.”
They cuddle, warm silence draped around them like a blanket.
“What do *you* want for Valentine’s Day, Lok?” Mobius asks.
“World domination.”
“No.”
“City domination.”
“Still no.”
“You?”
Mobius grins. “Y’already got me.” He scrubs up Loki’s arm. “C’mon. What do ya want actually?”
Loki thinks for a long, long moment. “Actually… there is something I want.”
“Oh?” Mobius perks a brow.
“It’s really important to me,” Loki admits, fidgeting his sleeve.
Mobius hugs him close. “Anything.”
“I… don’t know if I can tell you.”
Mobius’ heart flutters sweetly. “You can tell me anythin’, hon’.”
Loki purses his lips. “I…”
“Yes?”
“I want…”
“Mmhm?”
“... direly want, with all my heart and soul…”
“Yah??” Mobius flitters hopefully, his cheeks flushed as his fingers dance on Loki’s shirt buttons.
“... to push Hulk off the rainbow bridge,” Loki finishes. He grins. “PHEW! There. I said it.”
Mobius stares at him flatly.
“Doodle loo,” Loki plays with Mobius’ mustache to break his stare.
Mobius rolls his eyes, standing up and dropping Loki off his lap.
“HEY!” Loki yaps from the floor.
—-
B-15 and Sylvie cuddle in their TVRA office room on their humble pull-out couch, Sylvie’s weapons strewn messily on one side of the room, B-15’s neatly organized maps, documents, and weapons on the other, her helmet with the kill tallies on the bedside.
“Are we celebrating Valentine’s Day?” B-15 suddenly pipes.
Sylvie smirks, her eyes closed. “Sounds like a shit holiday.”
“I did some reading on it,” B-15 continues. “It’s basically just a date night.”
Sylvie presses a kiss to B-15’s chin. “I could go for that. But nothing special. ‘M not a romantic.”
B-15 chuckles. “Really? Your sword and assassin’s cloak scream ‘princess waiting to be rescued.’”
Sylvie punches Bee. Bee punches her harder back.
“Agreed,” Bee finally smirks. “A minor celebration. Date night. No romanticism.”
“No chocolates,” Sylvie agrees.
“No love poems.”
“And DEFINITELY no flowers.”
SLAM!!
Bee and Sylvie’s bedroom door bursts open.
“SURPRISE!!” Loki and Mobius grin, throwing rose petals, tossing a box of chocolates on their bed, and stuffing a giant Teddy Bear on top of the pair.
“What the…?!” B-15 spits through the fake fur.
“LOKI!!” Sylvie grabs her palm dagger.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Loki calls.
“We love you!” Mobius adds with a grin.
CLINK!
The door closes on the way out.
Sylvie and B-15 exchange glances.
Sylvie GROWLS, pinned under the giant Teddy Bear holding a heart. B-15 guffaws and rolls with laughter.
—-
Seated under the entry desk instead of doing actual work, Casey – Hunter K-5E – spins his helmet on the floor like a top. Other Casey – from the alternate TVA – hovers his cat, WM, over the helmet. She bats at it, her green eyes wide as she tries to catch the chin strap.
Suddenly…
FLUMP!
“Happy Valentine’s Day!”
“We love you, guys!”
Casey and Other Casey gape at the gift in front of them.
It is…
… a pile of cat toys that Prince has yet to ever use, along with flowers, candy, and the usual sort of V-Day gifts.
The Caseys raise their beaming faces.
“WOAH!!! Thanks!!”
—-
Among the towering, brown bookshelves that stretch for miles and miles, Arthur the Archivist and Gracie the Archivist-in-Training glance up at the dozen, freshly cut red roses that rest on the bookshelves, along with a handful of new books swiped from the Roxxcart apocalypse.
They grin at Loki and Mobius as they make their way out: Loki now with his hair in a goofy red scrunchy, Mobius wearing cheesy, plastic pink shutter shades. They wave on their way out.
—-
A ginormous pack of watermelon gum is gifted to Alexis, the Analyst. A personal Keurig goes to Robbie, the Secretary. Agent Waylen Wrose gets a new desk chair. Agent Ricky gets a new set of playing cards. Mandy M. Monroe, the god in charge of opening and closing the TVRA doors from personal 8 am-8 pm, gets a donut to sit on. The TVRA cook gets a top-of-the-line spice rack. The cleaning lady gets a box of bath bombs and a self-care kit. Even the medics and doctors get a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers.
Loki kisses Mobius on the way out, his heart inexplicably three sizes too large. Mobius’ own heart is four sizes too large. As Loki pulls out the TemPad to take them back home, Mobius suddenly covers Loki’s eyes with his palms.
“What are you doing?” Loki smirks.
“Shh,” Mobius grins. “It’s a surprise.” He VWIPS open the TemPad door.
“Are we going to the Hourglass Nebula Restaurant?” Loki asks, his heart thrumming. “The one that has the amazing petits fours and crystal chandeliers?”
“Better.”
“Are we doing a picnic on the beach? Rose petals in the sand? Chardonnay under the stars?”
“Even better.”
Loki smirks, unbelievably excited now as Mobius escorts him safely through the door. “Are we going to the French café we were married at?!?! Oh, Mobius, we can get those little pain au chocolats!!!”
Mobius finally stops Loki in the new world, VWIPPING the door shut behind them. He pulls his hands from Loki’s eyes. “Open.”
Loki excitedly opens his eyes.
He frowns.
The ocean laps beneath them, the golden city glinting in the distance, the colors thrumming beneath their feet. Loki glances left to right in a creased frown.
“Asgard?” Loki furrows.
“Wait for it,” Mobius crosses his arms smugly.
RAWRRRRRRRR!!!! In the distance, armies clash, spaceships whirr, in the middle of it all…
… the Hulk fights Fenrir, Hela’s gigantic wolf.
Loki fights a grin. “You didn’t.”
Mobius passes him Sylvie’s flaming sword… which he had evidently swiped off her when they bombarded her with gifts this morning.
“YOU DIDN’T!!” Loki bounces, the sword lighting in his fingertips.
“Go get ‘im,” Mobius rolls his eyes through his smirk. “I won’t look.”
“MOBIUS!!” Loki crushes him in a hug. “MOBIUS!! THIS– THIS–!!”
Mobius chuckles, fending off the flaming sword. “Hey. Watch where you’re swingin’ that thing!”
Right. Loki sheepishly tugs the sword that was singeing Mobius’ hair, extinguishing it. He glimmers at him happily.
“Thank you,” Loki grins. “But…” he wraps his hand in Mobius’. “I have everything I have ever wanted.”
Mobius blinks. “Really?”
Loki nods. “I have people whom I love, and people who love me. I have the best husband in all the Timeline. I have had more fun today than I have had in a lifetime. Nothing could possibly make me happier, so it would be pointless pushing a sweaty, steroid-ogre off a colorful bridge anyway.”
Mobius glimmers proudly at him. “I love you, Loki.”
Loki squeezes him like the most precious Stone in the Multiverse. “I love you, too.”
They meet in a kiss.
A beat. Mobius shifts in the embrace.
“We came all this way ‘n you’re really not gonna push ‘im off the bridge?”
“Of course, not really!!!” Loki grins devilishly. He lights up his sword, his evil smile crinkling his face. He marches toward Hulk on the bridge, then breaks into a run, sword held high above his head.
“LOKIIII SMASHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
Mobius watches as Loki materializes in a line of green at Hulk’s foot. He stabs Hulk’s big toe with the toothpick. Hulk YOWLS in pain. Loki summons all his magic and force, launching him off the rainbow bridge.
VWOOOooommm BWOOSH!!
Hulk lands in the churning ocean below.
Amidst the fighting, Loki triumphantly waves his flaming sword at Mobius.
“I GOT HIM!! NORNS!! I GOT HIM, MOBIUS!” Loki celebrates. “I AM *KING* OF THE—”
BAM!!!
Hulk smacks Loki’s side with his fist.
“AHHHHHhhhhhhhh!!”
Loki rockets off the opposite side of the rainbow bridge, skimming like a pebble on the surface before SMACKING into the ocean.
Mobius chuckles, shaking his head affectionately.
“Time to go fishin’.”
Mobius closes his eyes, plugs his nose, then steps off the rainbow bridge.
He plummets into the abyss.