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Technoblade, once a weapon, an ally, and a brother . A brother that Tommy betrayed, a friend that Tommy used for his own selfish needs and when at a fork in the road abandoned him. He clings to his coat tightly as a particularly harsh wind blows by. He didn’t know how he’d managed to make his way to the snowy tundra, or why he even chose to go to the one person who despises him but he did. As he stood outside the spruce gates, he felt the urge to run away, forgetting he’d even come there. A voice calls his name behind him. Bright pink fur and tusks stand behind him.
Technoblade, a person who once looked at Tommy with love and adoration, who looked at him with hatred on the battlefield, looked at him now with a guarded expression. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. The pig creature goes to speak as well but finds nothing to say. They both stand there awkwardly looking at each other. Taking each other in. The word ‘Sorry’ sits tastelessly on his tongue. ‘Sorry for using you, sorry for betraying you, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,’ but those words sound wrong to Tommy. They could never make up for the way he made Technoblade feel, it could never make up for all the times he just had to go and ruin it all.
He flinches at the feeling of a cold hoof touching his face. He hadn’t realised when Techno approached him.
“You’re freezing,” he stated. Tommy had almost forgotten where they were standing. Techno without another word began leading Tommy to his cabin. A fire was already burning, quietly crackling away in the fireplace. Tommy could already feel the blood flowing through his body again and let out a sigh. Techno handed the teen a blanket before walking off the kitchen and beginning to boil some water. Tommy walked over to the fireplace and took a seat on the carpet, wrapping the blanket gingerly around himself. He stared into the fire, watching its orange and yellow flames dancing and curling around each other. A memory sat just within the flames, the memory of a country long gone. Burned to nothing but rubble and ash. He shook his head to stop the memory from fully resurfacing.
“Drink this,” the pig handed him a mug of hot chocolate, its aroma filling his nose and making him drool. He immediately went to chug it and well they don’t call it hot chocolate for no reason.
“Shit shit!” he yelled out. He began fanning his burnt tongue with his hands. He caught a glimpse of Techno smiling just to the corner of his eye before he went back to a neutral expression.
Tommy much carefully this time blew on the surface of the drink before sipping it. Techno took a seat on a chair near the small dining table, a mug in his hand. The last time he was here, there were only three chairs, now there’s four. He wonders who fills his seat now.
There should be conversation here, there had to be but neither parties seemed particularly eager to speak. Tommy took another sip of the drink before looking over to Techno.
“So… how have you been?” he asked slowly. Techno stared at him blankly as Tommy felt a cold sweat come over him. He’s probably already thinking of a way to kill Tommy isn’t he? Tommy shifted himself where he sat on the carpet, getting ready to make an escape to the front door.
“I’ve been fine,” Techno finally spoke.
“Oh. That’s great!” He tried to sound enthusiastic.
“Yup.”
Their silence continued. Tommy could hear the howling winds outside. To think he almost froze out there if it wasn’t for Techno inviting him in.
“Tommy,” Tommy’s head snapped back to the pig, “Why are you here?”
Why had he come here? He tried to think it over. Why had he come to a place which only held bittersweet memories now? He looked away from Techno’s gaze, it felt almost too painful to bear. He felt like he was in the snow again, freezing and running around aimlessly. Why had he come here to the one place he knew he wasn’t wanted? He could feel the words getting stuck again, he had come to say sorry hadn’t he?
“Techno I-” his voice cracked. How hard was it to say those words? It felt like opening up an infected wound. What difference would it make if he said sorry? Techno hated him already there was no reason to try but still he’s here.
How would he begin admitting that he wasn’t good, that he made terrible mistakes after terrible mistakes and the biggest mistake of all was choosing a country over someone who took him in, who cared for him in his time of need when no one else would. When no one else cared to check up on him and make sure he was okay, someone who helped salvage the little pieces of himself he had left. Who was a brother to him. How would he begin voicing that? Techno’s eyes turned sorrowful as he finished the thought or rather the confession.
His eyes were wet and he could feel he was hyperventilating. He really had said all of that out loud.
Techno knelt down on the carpet with him before hugging the teen. He grabbed onto fur without thinking. He could feel his own tears soaking into the fur turning it wet and gross. He would’ve felt bad if he didn’t hear Techno sniffling as well.
They stayed like that for a while. Their drinks, Tommy is sure had gone cold but he didn’t mind it.
<<<<<<
Tommy opened his eyes to find a dirt ceiling staring back at him. He’d never woken up this peacefully before. He sat up and felt the distinct feeling of tears on the sides of his face. Nightmares were something he’d gotten used to ever since his exile days. He’d wake up crying or screaming but this time he did not. It felt like a good dream, a dream he could taste hot chocolate in and nothing else. If only he could remember what the rest of it was about. He wiped away the remainder of tears and looked out his window. It must’ve been noon by now and he had to meet up with Tubbo soon. He should get ready.