Work Text:
“I think you should meet my family,” Bilbo announced one evening.
Thorin looked up from his paperwork. “You have family?”
“Of course I have family.” Bilbo waved him off. “My brother Drogo and his wife Primula. They have two children, Frodo and Angelica. They’re twins.”
Thorin put his quill down to look at Bilbo. “I would love to meet them. Would they be willing to come here? Or should I prepare to visit the Shire?”
“I fear Primula would have a heart attack at the thought of travelling to Erebor. But she could be convinced by Frodo. He has her wrapped around his little finger.” Bilbo tapped his lip thoughtfully. “I will write to Drogo.”
“If it is too much bother I can leave Dis in charge and I can come with you.”
“Ah, it will do the young ones good to get out of the Shire. Frodo is always pushing his limits as it is.” Bilbo smiled fondly at the memories of Angelica chasing a younger Frodo around the fields.
“If they wish to come here, they will be honoured guests.”
—
The small family of Hobbits arrived a few months later.
Drogo and Bilbo were similar looking with their brown curls and tanned skin. On the other hand, Primula and the two children were pale with curly black hair.
Frodo made to dash off as soon as they entered the halls but Angelica caught him and held him upside down until he promised not to run off.
“Angel!” Primula admonished. “Put your brother down.”
She rolled her eyes but righted her brother.
“Uncle Bilbo!” Frodo squealed and ran forward to tackle Bilbo in a hug.
“Brother.” Drogo laughed as the two hugged.
“The chaos you have left behind Bilbo Baggins,” Primula said fondly as she kissed his cheek.
“Aunt Lobelia is in a foul temper,” Angel said, hugging him tightly. “She said that all rights of Bag End should go to her.”
“And who do you think it should go to?” Bilbo laughed as he ruffled Frodo’s hair.
“Me of course!” Frodo said indignantly.
“In your dreams,” Angel said. “You couldn’t run a smial if your life depended on it.”
“I could too!” Frodo protested.
The two children began to bicker as the adults conversed happily.
“Thorin should be along in a few minutes,” Bilbo said nervously. “Promise you’ll be polite?”
“When am I not polite Bilbo? You were the problem child, not me.” Drogo said with a falsely affronted look.
“Who are these wee bairns?” Came the booming voice of Bofur.
“Bofur this is my niece Angel and my nephew Frodo.”
Frodo was suddenly shy as he edged behind Angel and she looked a bit apprehensive as well as she stared up at the huge dwarf.
“Angel, Frodo, this is my friend Bofur.”
“Nice to meet you,” Angel said, holding out a hand uncertainly.
Bofur shook her hand firmly. “Bilbo told me all about you two.”
That got Frodo’s attention and he shoved his sister out of his way. “What did he say?”
Angel stumbled slightly and she kicked the back of Frodo’s knees, sending him crashing to the ground.
“Children!” Primula said. “Calm yourselves!”
“But mum-”
“It was her-”
“I don’t care,” Primula said sternly. “Apologise to each other.”
“I’m sorry for pushing you,” Frodo said sullenly.
“You better be,” Angel replied.
“Angelica,” Drogo said in a warning voice.
“I’m sorry for kicking you.” She sighed heavily.
“Well isn’t this a merry gathering?” Two younger men rushed over.
“Fili,”
“And Kili,”
“At your service.” They bowed in synchronisation making Frodo and Angel giggle.
“Drogo Baggins at yours,” Drogo said bowing.
“Primula Baggins at yours as well.” Primula bowed slightly.
Angel and Frodo glanced at each other and dissolved into giggles as they bowed and introduced themselves.
“You must be Bilbo’s grandmother,” Kili said to Angel.
Frodo shook his head wildly. “Don’t be silly! Me and Angel are only eight.”
“Are you sure?” Fili asked, jokingly raising a doubtful eyebrow.
“Yes!” Angel said indignantly.
Kili laughed and Angel seemed to understand then that they were joking. She slowly grinned and nudged Frodo, who looked around confused.
“What?” He asked, annoyed. “Why is everyone laughing?”
“Fili, Kili, what kind of hosts are you?” A woman rounded the corner. “Our guests must be tired.”
“I’m exhausted,” Frodo said dramatically and fell against Angel, sending them both crashing to the floor.
Angel shoved him off her and accepted her mother’s hand to pull her up.
“You are hyper.” Drogo laughed and picked Frodo up like a sack of potatoes. Frodo laughed raucously and begged his father to put him down.
“We have a room set up for the children. Your room is right next door.” Dis explained to Primula.
“That sounds wonderful,” Primula said.
Angel clutched her mother’s hand as she stared at the vast halls. She could hear the miners.
“Was there really a dragon here?” Frodo asked Fili.
“It was huge,” Kili said dramatically. “We couldn’t have defeated it without your uncle.”
“Oh please,” Bilbo said, the tips of his ears turning red. “You would’ve managed.”
Kili waited until Bilbo wasn’t looking and mouthing to Frodo. “He’s lying.”
Frodo laughed and Drogo finally put him down. “You are getting big, Frodo.”
“It’s all those mushrooms he’s stealing.” Angel giggled and dodged Frodo’s kick. “Farmer Maggot set his dogs on us last time.”
“It’s what you get for stealing,” Primula said but she had a fond smile on her face.
Angel stuck her tongue out at Frodo behind Primula’s back and Frodo made a stupid face at her.
Dis opened one door. “This will be your room.” She said to Frodo and Angel.
Frodo didn’t hesitate to rush in but Angel hung back. She looked up at her mother, who nodded encouragingly.
She walked in and stared at the room in awe.
The beds were big and had been embroidered with flowers.
There were intricate designs carved into the walls. Angel traced one of a dragon sitting on a pile of gold.
“Angel, look!” Frodo called pointing at one of the designs. “It’s Uncle Bilbo!”
Angel dashed over and it was in fact, Bilbo. He was standing in front of a man with a sword out. He was facing down a group of wargs and orcs.
“That didn’t happen, did it?” Frodo asked Dis.
“It did.” Dis nodded. “Your uncle is the bravest man I’ve ever met.”
“I’m gonna be just like him,” Frodo said confidently.
“Yeah until you get hungry,” Angel said sarcastically.
“You just wait, Angel! I’ll be a hero. Just like Uncle Bilbo.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Angel said and dodged a pillow that Frodo threw at her.
“Children, children,” Primula said, picking up the pillow and putting it back on the bed. “There’ll be no adventures until you are older.”
“Now I think it’s time you two washed up. Your hair is a mess.” Drogo said.
“There is one bathroom in every room,” Dis said. “The bathtubs have been filled already.”
“Come along Angel,” Primula said, taking her daughter’s hand. “Let’s work out those knots.”
Angel already knew this was going to hurt.
—
Frodo was done with his bath before Angel and he wandered around the halls alone.
He found a vast cavern filled to the brim with gold and jewels.
He picked up a necklace curiously. It glinted prettily.
Frodo guessed it was made out of diamonds judging by the colours.
He wandered around a bit more and found many beautiful crafts.
He wondered if he could get outside. The inside was nice and everything but he wanted to explore elsewhere as well.
He decided to find Bilbo. He would know.
Frodo dashed off to find his uncle.
Bilbo was all too happy to indulge his nephew and led him to the gardens.
Frodo stared in wonder at all the trees and flowers. It wasn’t much compared to the Shire but it was still beautiful.
“Can the trees move?” Frodo asked.
“Not that I’ve seen,” Bilbo said, shaking his head.
“What a shame.” Frodo frowned. “Angel said one of the trees in the forest spoke to her.”
“An ent.” Bilbo nodded. “There are a few in the trees surrounding the Shire as well.”
“I’ve never seen one move,” Frodo said indignantly.
“That’s because you don’t have the patience to wait for them,” Bilbo said, swinging Frodo up into his arms and tickling him.
—
Angel on the other hand had escaped her mother’s clutches and was doing some exploring of her own.
It was nice to wash off all the dirt that had accumulated on the trip. Occasional washes in streams weren’t cutting it anymore.
She looked in wonder at everything around her. Everything was so detailed and calculated.
She stopped to stare at a statue of the old king for ages. She was waiting to see if it would move. It looked very realistic so she waited and waited.
Eventually, she gave up and cast one more look at his face before scampering off.
She wasn’t paying attention to where she was going and crashed into someone.
She sprawled to the ground and groaned, putting a hand to her head.
“And who are you?” A tall dwarf asked, helping her up. “An orc perhaps?”
“An orc!?” She said, affronted. “I’m a hobbit.”
“A hobbit?” The dwarf raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent. I’m Angelica Baggins.”
“Baggins? You must be Bilbo’s niece. Dwalin at your service.”
“I’m not an orc anymore, am I?” Angel sniffed, still quite offended. Dwalin’s lips twitched amused.
“No, I have no idea how I made the mistake.”
Angel seemed to relent and she smiled. “Maybe you should see a doctor. Your sight seems to be failing you.”
She ran off and waved goodbye to Dwalin before disappearing around the corner.
—
Dis had brought Primula to the kitchens and the two were baking some bread while conversing happily.
“Your brother-in-law is the only reason we can do this today,” Dis said. “We owe him a great debt.”
“Don’t tell him that.” Primula laughed lightly. “He can get a big head about that kind of thing.”
Dis laughed with her. “Sounds like Thorin. He’s far too prideful.”
“Men,” Primula said, rolling her eyes.
“You’re too right there. Your children seem like little troublemakers though. My boys were the exact same at their age. In fact, they still are now.”
“Frodo is like a magnet for trouble,” Primula said, shaking her head. “Angel is the one who smooths things over after Frodo causes a riot. They are two peas in a pod, those two.”
“They seem lovely,” Dis assured her. “How did you and your husband meet then?”
“He claims it was love at first sight,” Primula said, rolling her eyes with a fond smile. “I think it was love after quite a few months of courting. We were at a Winter festival and he and I made a bet. We had to see who could run across the field faster. If he won, I would agree to court him for two months. If I won, he had to court Lobelia for two months. He won by a second. And the rest is history as they say.”
Dis smiled at her as her ears turned red at the memories.
“What about you?”
“My husband and I met at the forges.” Dis smiled, reminiscing. “I knew he was my One as soon as we met eyes. He was a new swordsmith. My grandfather wasn’t very pleased with the union but my father and Thorin stood with me. We got married a few months later. Then Fili came along. And then Kili.”
“I must say Thorin is sounding more and more kind the more I hear about him,” Primula observed.
“He is just and kind.” Dis nodded. “But don’t tell him I told you.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
—
The hobbits all gathered in the dining room as Bilbo fidgeted nervously.
Angel was swinging her legs boredly from her chair. How long was this Thorin going to take?
Frodo wanted to just eat but Primula said they had to wait.
“I apologize for my tardiness.”
“Finally,” Frodo mumbled. Primula shot him a dark look and he smiled innocently.
“I am Thorin Oakenshield.” Thorin introduced nervously. “At your service.”
Angel and Frodo stood shoulder to shoulder, looking Thorin up and down meticulously.
“You’re a bit skinny.” Frodo blurted out.
Primula went a furious red as Drogo put a hand over Frodo’s mouth. Angel was laughing maniacally as Bilbo put his hands over his face, embarrassed.
Thorin looked unsure of what to do. Bilbo just shook his head and indicated for him to sit down.
Angel sat down beside Thorin eagerly. “So, you’re marrying my uncle.”
“Yes.”
“Where do you live?”
“In this building.”
“Have you got a house?”
“Yes.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I’m king.”
“Where’s your office?”
“Down the hall.”
“Do you have kids?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Are you Bilbo’s lover?”
“How many questions can you ask one after the other?”
“38.”
“She’s just getting warmed up.” Bilbo laughed.
“Angel, perhaps we’ll leave the interrogation till after dinner,” Drogo said.
Angel gave Thorin a piercing look but turned to her food.
—
“I think that went well,” Thorin said that night.
“Yes, I would say so. Drogo said you seem suitable. Primula says if I don’t keep you she’ll have to take you. Frodo says you need to eat more. Angel says you need to be able to answer questions faster.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
