i_am_constipated
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"Mike’s thoughts are racing but really, there is only one thought that’s floating around his brain, a thousand iterations of the same thought swirling around and around: Will tried to kiss me. More than once. I almost let him."
or: Will gets doped up on pain meds after Dustin accidentally hits him with a board, and Mike is being normal. He is.
Bookmarked by i_am_constipated
16 Dec 2025
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The "Dying" Hobbit by Resacon1990
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
10 Jun 2014
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"It's just a cold," Gandalf says the following morning when Bilbo wakes up feeling completely under the weather, "a few days rest in bed will do you good, dear fellow."
Or, the one where Bilbo has a cold and everyone thinks he's dying.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,855
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 261
- Kudos:
- 14,577
- Bookmarks:
- 3,170
- Hits:
- 157,751
Bookmarked by i_am_constipated
08 Nov 2025
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You Got Me by drunkonwriting
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
26 Feb 2015
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The Company shows their affection for Bilbo in accordance with dwarvish tradition. Bilbo... has no idea why everyone keeps giving him gifts.
(Dwarves give gifts of craft to start friendships or romance. Everybody lives AU, canon-compliant through the first movie.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,983
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 447
- Kudos:
- 20,257
- Bookmarks:
- 6,075
- Hits:
- 192,373
Bookmarked by i_am_constipated
07 Nov 2025
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Sansûkh by determamfidd
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
30 Jun 2021
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From a Hobbitkink prompt:
The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors.
The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.
(Follows the story of the War of the Ring).
(Bagginshield, Gimli/Legolas) In which recovery takes time, the dead members of the Company take to watching Gimli as though he’s a soap opera, the living struggle with being left behind, Legolas is confused, Khuzdul is abused, and Thorin is four feet and ten inches of guilt and anger.
~**~
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A Long List of Happy Endings by vicious_summer
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
19 Feb 2022
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“–Come Durin’s Day, the Mountain will host great entertainments, games, and feasting in your name and in the names of the other thirteen of the Company. Your path through all of Arda shall be made smooth to ensure your welcome in our lands, Bilbo Baggins. I bring this summons as it was sent from the Throne of Thorin, King Under the Mountain.”
Bilbo’s heart, racing as it had been from this thrilling invitation, seemed to trip over itself at the name. “Thorin?” he whispered, and he stepped forward without thinking.
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Or: Bilbo learns that his story isn’t actually a tragedy, and that happy endings still take a bit of luck.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 162,620
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,379
- Kudos:
- 5,465
- Bookmarks:
- 1,887
- Hits:
- 125,732
Bookmarked by i_am_constipated
28 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
the best piece of art I've ever had the pleasure of reading