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“Finally!” Zack called dramatically, collapsing on Ivy, who shook him off with a disgruntled warning not to bother the driver. “That one was hard!”
Carmen spun the box containing the La Peregrina Pearl in her hand. “Mmm, not particularly. For one of the most famous jewels in the world, security was sadly lacking.”
“Only for you, Red,” laughed Player onscreen. “I’d say a hundred guards plus the no-oxygen room, not to mention the thumbprint and iris scanner would be enough for anyone else. Be careful with that,” he added. “It bid for more than 11 million dollars, you know.”
Carmen clicked her tongue. “It’s a good thing Countess Cleo will not be getting her hands on it then.”
“She would certainly love this,” Shadowsan agreed. “We must be careful for a while. The only thing the Countess treasures more than her jewels and clothes is revenge.”
“They’ll never get us, Carm’s too good,” Ivy scoffed. “Bro, if you elbow me one more time, I’m tossing you off this ship.”
“Chill, Ives,” Zack drawled. “Player, any idea what our next mission is?”
Player had his thinking face on, clearly having switched the screen to go through the hard drive. “Honestly, it’s a wait-and-see game at this point. They’ve been trying to switch up their missions and agents recently.”
“Probably because they know boss will come and get them,” Zack said. “And her suuuuper awesome crew. Hi-yah!” He did a terrible imitation of a kung fu chop. “Sensei, when will my training continue?”
“When you’ve displayed any aptitude for the martial arts,” Shadowsan retorted dryly. “In the meantime – or for the rest of your life, seeing as that seems more likely – I would suggest remaining the get-away driver.”
“The get-away sailor this time,” Ivy commented. “And it’s me, and not him! Ha.”
“Want me to make you a little paper captain’s hat sis?” Zack chuckled.
“I’ll smash it over your head, bro.”
“It might be a good thing to have a break between this and the next caper,” Carmen was telling Player as Zack and Ivy continued their argument and Shadowsan continued to bemoan all the life choices that led him to witness it, “We could have some rest. And you could pay attention in school. And do your homework. And go to sleep on time, for once.”
“You sound like my mom,” Player complained, leaning back with his hands behind his head. The tension always in his voice when he guided them on missions – responsible for his team, his family – bled out as he enjoyed a conversation with his best friend. “Besides. I have absolutely no doubt that you’ll find a way to get into trouble even without any capers. I’ll need to stay up late anyway!”
“Don’t sound so happy about that,” Carmen chided. “Seriously, Player, you need to learn to take better care of yourself. Have you eaten today?”
Player waved a plate of noodles and fork mockingly at the camera.
“Something other than that breathtakingly unhealthy stuff?”
“The unhealthy stuff’s what’s tasty, boss,” Zack chimed in. “I don’t get how you don’t like junk food.”
“I grew up on VILE Island,” Carmen replied amusedly. “Not much time for junk there unless it’s valuable or evil.”
“Coach Brunt set a very specific diet for Carmen growing up,” Shadowsan nodded. “I remember Dr. Bellum contributed – most probably why you were allowed any sweets at all.”
“Weird to think of that huge Coach being a mom,” Ivy commented.
“Carm doesn’t need any moms,” Zack snickered. “She’s got Player.”
“Player’s clearly the mom friend,” Carmen agreed.
Player made an outraged noise. “I’m the mom friend? Red, remind me who was just nagging me about bedtime and food like I’m in preschool?”
“Red, did you just get knifed? Where did she get you? Are you sitting down? Did you take the knife out? How much is it bleeding? Do you know how to clean it? You know the rate of people dying of knife wounds in Canada is 0.49 in a hundred thousand people? And you’re like that with someone who’s been trained all her life to deal with things like knife wounds,” Carmen imitated Player’s concerned fussing teasingly.
“You got stabbed!” Player cried indignantly. “That’s different!”
“You’re like that every time someone’s hurt, Player,” Ivy said. “Also, I don’t get how the stats help.”
“Yeah, what’s with that? D’you reckon knowing how many people die of that particular thing will help us recover from it?" Zack asked, puzzled.
Player flushed. Carmen knew perfectly well he ranted without thinking when he panicked, and that solid hard statistics was his favourite thing to recite. “It’s better than your typical habits, Zack,” she saved him from answering.
“Anything’s better than lil’ bro eating his feelings,” Ivy mocked.
“Ow, that hurts, Ives,” Zack said, sniffing exaggeratedly. “More than VILE’s ego after boss kicked their ass for the thousandth time, I’m sure.”
“Nothing could sting more than that,” Shadowsan smirked, for once joining in on the joking.
“Not to mention the rubbing of salt in the wound when we make the return of the goods public and donate the money to charity,” Carmen added lazily, putting her legs up on the couch, keeping an eye on the surroundings. The boat was still rather in the open, and she didn’t need Devineaux and ACME interfering with a successful caper.
“Speaking of which, we need to decide on whom you’re going to be giving the Pearl to, Red,” Player said, stretching his hands forward and typing. “On this one you’ve liberated. . . . Drumroll, please. . .” Zack and Ivy obliged. “Eight-hundred thousand euros from VILE!”
“Woohoo!” Zack and Ivy cheered, and even Shadowsan cracked a smile. Zack began beatboxing, and Ivy began to sing. “The best thief - in the world? Yeah, it’s Carmen Sandiego. Where in the world is – Carmen Sandiego? Where - will she go next – no one ever—”
“So, any ideas?” Player asked over the music and Shadowsan’s annoyed grumblings.
“Jules, obviously, for the Pearl,” Carmen said, leaning closer to the monitor in order to see her friend better. “And just pick a few non-profits from the list, Player. Though preferably an orphanage, for this loot.” Her face darkened and she turned away.
“Hey. Not your fault, Red. You can’t save everyone,” Player consoled gently, referring to the orphan who had gotten killed by VILE simply for being a bystander.
“No, but it would be nice to save someone,” she replied with unusual bitterness.
“You do. You save loads of people,” Player said insistently. “Think of how many people this money will help. Think of how many trees whose oxygen you’ve saved by making sure Tigress won’t be speaking for a week at least!”
That got a smile. “Fair enough.”
Player watched her carefully, even as he quickly arranged for the wire transfers. She seemed okay, but he’d have to keep an eye out. “I’ll book a flight to wherever Juuuules is,” Player extended the name teasingly. “You do realize you’re the only who calls her that?”
“It suits her,” Carmen said nonchalantly.
“Yeah, and you’ve got a crush,” Player said delightedly. “Black Sheep’s got a crush! Carmen’s got a crush!”
Carmen reached out and tapped the screen, mock threateningly. “Quit it, Player, or I’ll tell Zack all about your antics at the gaming tournament at age eight.”
Player mimed zipping his mouth. “Shut up. Got it.” He couldn’t resist another jab though. “You know you always drop whatever you’re doing to go see her, even on capers?”
“Are we talking about Julia Argent?” Zack said bluntly.
“And Carmen being very obviously smitten with her?” Shadowsan added. Carmen glared at him in betrayal.
“No, we’re discussing how the lot of you are interfering traitors, who are blighting my very good day,” she drawled. Her eyes caught on another boat. “And speaking of blights. . .”
Player caught on, tapping a key, eyes sharpening. “Well that’s a vile blight on the landscape.”
“It is quite a landscape isn’t it?” Shadowsan said, getting up and readying himself. “A perfect spot for taking down more agents.”
“Awesome!” Zack said, tumbling to his feet. “Time for our training to continue, Sensei!”
“Not the time, bro!”
Carmen slipped the Pearl into her pocket, zipping it tightly shut, before taking a flying leap from her boat to the other one, taking two out with a roundhouse kick.
“Grunts!” Ivy called. “Couldn’t send any of the better agents, could you? Haven’t seen the goat for a while.” She blindly swung a club and somehow managed to take one down. “Ha! There’s one!”
Shadowsan efficiently thinned the crowd. “And mine’s six.”
Carmen ducked the blow from the sword, before using a maneuver Coach Brunt had once taught her and managing to knock the owner out with it. “And there’s the last.”
Zack pouted. “I didn’t get a single one.”
“Aw, Zack,” Player said in the intercom. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t either.”
“Hear that, Zack? You’re being compared to a kid sitting a whole continent away.” Ivy laughed under her breath, swinging an arm around her brother’s shoulder as they climbed back on their own boat.
“I believe this calls for a toast.” Shadowsan proclaimed.
“So it does,” Carmen agreed. “Player. ACME?”
“On its way,” he said in satisfaction. “Good day’s work, team.”
“I think this calls for some alcohol,” Ivy said. “Tada! This one’s supposed to be the best around here. Get the glasses, I want to taste it.”
“Cool, sis,” Zack grinned, opening the cupboard to produce the glasses. “Good thing you’re not here Player.”
Player knew he shouldn’t take the bait. He knew.
“Why?” He said anyway.
“’Cause a little guy like you couldn’t drink, and then you’d be all left out!” Zack said melodramatically. “It’d be really sad.”
“Carmen!” Player said in agitation.
Carmen laughed, watching her family bicker.
“Far from VILE Island, is it not?” Shadowsan asked quietly, sipping from his own glass.
“Quite a bit,” she agreed, taking her own glass and holding it in a toast to her best friend who was still angrily ranting at Zack. “And I couldn’t be gladder for it.”