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"Footballers attempt-" Cristiano started "To find a valentine. Staring-"
"The frontmen!" The strikers yelled; aka Haaland, Messi, Ronaldo, Mbappe and Benzema, "SIU!"
"Vs" the two groups yelled
"The backmen!" The defenders yelled out; aka Sergio, Pique, Maguire, Virgil and Pepe, "Vamos!"
"Current scores" Cristiano continued on, "1-1!"
Messi nodded his head, glancing at the camera "And this week we'll be doing a valentine's day special" he said, "Each of-"
Cristiano cut the man off, smiling proudly at himself as if he just won the world cup and not cut off Messi "Each of us today will go out to find a valentine! We have 2 hours! The team with the most people with a valentine wins!"
Messi glared at Cristiano but continued on as if nothing happened "I'd tell you the rules but" he glanced at the backmen "They won't be followed so.. game on it is!"
Cristiano and Messi threw their fists up "Siuuu"
Sergio laughed "This will be a piece of piss, just watch me" Segnor Red Card laughed on his shoulder "Right, who wouldn't want us!"
Maguire just blinked..
"I-I don't think I-I'll win in t-t-this one" the defender told the other four, "No one wants m-me"
"Well you're not wrong there" Sergio hummed, "Pique, you're great at cheating, help Harry"
Pique nodded his head, shrugging his shoulders "Sure" he looked at Maguire, "Come on, let's go"
Maguire nodded his head "O-Okay.." and followed after the guy.
One by one, Sergio and Segnor watched as the frontmen and back men left the room. Once they did, the two made their own way out of the studio..
"So what do you have in mind, Sergio?" Segnor asked him, to which Sergio hummed and thought to himself "Well I just need to find someone. Shouldn't be too hard right?" He wondered
Segnor laughed "It would be easy, except people are terrified of us" he responded, "Not that I blame them. Bunch of pussios."
Sergio nodded his head "Bunch of fucking putas." He agreed, before continuing on with the task at hand "But since that's true, it makes things more difficult for us."
Segnor hummed "That's true. We have to find you someone who isn't scared of us!"
Sergio knew that, but who wasn't scared of him?
"Who the fuck is that though?" Sergio had to wonder
"Someone from your club? Or past clubs?"
Definitely not PSG. Not only were those guys scared of him but he'd rather play fair than have any of them as a Valentine. As for the Spanish team, yet again no because he couldn't stand any of those guys. Not after he wasn't in the world cup, which was just about 2 months ago. He couldn't go for Anyone at Sevilla either. It's been a long time and he's 99% sure those guys would shit their pants if they saw him.
So that just left Real Madrid players.
So he thought to himself.
Who, on the Real Madrid team, wasn't scared of him? Who in that club has even stayed since his departure?
Sergio blinked..
"Segnor Red Card?"
"What, Sergio?"
"I know who we'll make my valentine"
—
"There he is, Segnor Red Card"
"Who? Kroos? Why the fuck would you-"
"No! Not Kroos!" Sergio pointed towards the pitch, from his place on the stands where he sat, "Luka! He's right there, with Vicious and Rodrygo"
"Ooooh" Segnor smirked "Why didn't you just tell me! You know I love Luka!"
Sergio nodded his head "I do too, he's the only player who's extremely nice and I don't hate it" he smirked as well, the two watching as Luka shot the ball and scored, yelling a happy 'Yes!' in his high voice.
Segnor decided to continue talking "He's adorable! Like a pussio!"
"Exactly" Sergio agreed, "AND he isn't scared of us! Remember? He always let me pick him up and completely trusted me with whatever I did. And he was always so nice about it too."
Segnor hummed in agreement "Kind, nice, all that bullshit, yet I still 100% support you in choosing him. He's like that one exception to everything!" "Exactly"
Sergio and Segnor watched the tiny Croat yet again..
"I wouldn't give him a free prostate exam with my teeth"
Sergio looked at Segnor, blinking "What?" He was a bit surprised too. Segnor liked Luka, yes, but he'd never say anything that sweet-
"I'd do it with my-"
BEEEEEEEEP THIS SCENE WAS CUT FOR THE SAKE OF MY READERS
We cut back to find Sergio walking over to Ancelotti, who was busy watching his players and chewing on gum..
"Hey, coach"
Ancelotti turned to the Spaniard "Oh, Ramos, what's brought you here?"
"My legs, you fucking moron. Anyways, listen-" Ancelotti didn't even blink at the insult, so Sergio just went on to talk, "I need to borrow Luka"
"Luka?" Ancelotti asked, "Why him? What for?"
"None of your business, asshole!" Segnor Red Card spoke, suddenly jumping out from Ramos' back pocket and onto his shoulder "Just give us Luka and I won't have to rip off your arms!"
Ancelotti's eyes widened, taken back by the rough treatment from the red card "Uh yes, Segnor Red Card! Let me just call him over..!" He gulped, turning over to the pitch and raising his arm up. Segnor and Sergio followed the gaze till their eyes landed on Luka, who was passing the ball back and forth to his teammates.
Such beauty.
Such grace.
Sergio would kill someone for Luka. That's no joke.
"Modrić!" Ancelotti yelled, calling over the small Croat who was quick to look up, taking a few steps away from his teammates so they knew not to pass to him.
Luka blinked, frowning in confusion before his eyes focused on the person next to his coach. Suddenly he broke into a smile, running over to the three.
"Sergio, he's coming over here" Ancelotti told the two. Segnor rolled his eyes "No shit, Sherlock" but he was quick to smirk and Sergio was quick to smile once the Croat was close standing in front of them
"Sergio!" Luka greeted his ex teammate with a big hug, "Hi, I can't believe you're here!"
Sergio's gaze softened and he immediately hugged the small man back, embracing him into his arms. Luka was so tiny he could basically engulf the whole man with his body, wrap around him protectively and hide him from any eyes that dared to even attempt and look at him wrong.
Segnor Red Card sent a glare to Ancelotti "Now get lost, puta."
Ancelotti didn't need to be told twice. He ran off quicker than Mbappe.
Luka suddenly pulled away, smiling happily at Segnor "Segnor Red Card!"
Segnor smiled as well, jumping onto Luka's shoulder, who was quick to look at him. Sergio kept his hands firmly on Luka's waist, thumbs gently rubbing against the soft material of the kit.
"Luka, you look better than ever!"
"Thank you, I've been training a lot"
Segnor Red Card smirked "I can tell"
Sergio had to interfere before Luka figured out the red card was looking at his ass-
"Luka, I need a big favor"
Luka looked up back at Sergio, oblivious to the dirty thoughts definitely swirling around inside the card on his shoulder. "Sure, Sergio, anything"
Sergio smiled, giving a gentle squeeze to the other's waist "We're filming frontmen vs backmen, valentine's day special"
Luka nodded his head, frowning "I know, Karim left a bit ago to shoot that. He told me where he's going, flipped off Vini, then walked away."
Sergio laughed "Classic Karim" he cleared his throat, focusing back on the task at hand, "But anyways, has he told you what the challenge is?"
Luka blinked, head slightly tilting to the side "No"
"We're meant to find a Valentine in two hours. The team with the valentines wins."
"Ooh.." Luka nodded his head again, "That's an interesting idea"
"Not really but eh" Sergio shrugged, "I was wondering if you could help me out with that"
"Like.. find you a Valentine?" Luka wondered, "I mean, you could ask Toni maybe"
"Why the fuck would he want Toni?" Segnor wondered out loud, raising his tiny arms up in question, but he was left ignored. Which wasn't exactly the best idea in the world but Segnor hasn't ever really hurt Modrić before so he won't now.
"No" Sergio smiled, "I want YOU to be my valentine, Luka"
Luka looked at him, just staring for a minute..
"Why?"
Sergio frowned "What why?"
"Why me?" Luka asked, "I mean, they'd definitely just laugh at me if they saw me there" he explained himself, looking away, to the ground, "They'd think it's funny. I don't want to embarrass you."
Sergio's eyebrows furrowed and he raised Luka's head back up, holding his chin with his thumb and index finger, the other hand holding onto his waist still "Luka, if anyone laughs at you I will rip out their eyes out and shove them down their throat so they can see me tear their carcass open."
Luka's eyes widened "I-I don't.. want that- Please don't do that"
Sergio kept his expression angry though, not at Luka of course "But it's true. If I hear a PEEP of laughter they'll deal with me and Segnor Red Card."
Luka grimaced, nose twitching in slight disgust "That's a very dark image to imagine.." he shook his head, forcing Sergio to move his hand away and lay it back on the other side of the waist, and cleared his throat before looking back at his ex teammate, "I'll be your valentine. Just don't hurt anyone."
…
"Too seriously"
Sergio smiled, pulling the other closer and kissing his forehead "You know me so well, Lukita"
"Sergio, we need to head back, we have 20 minutes" segnor Red Card told the Spaniard, finally done ogling Luka's behind.
—
Luka and Sergio were back in the studio after a few minutes of walking. Sergio kissed Luka's forehead and told him to wait outside till he's called before making his way into the film room, where everyone else was already situated.
The room lacked the usual green screen that they used, now replaced with some dark podium. The walls behind it were painted white with red and pink hearts decorating it. There were 20 chairs in total, 10 for the backmen and their valentines and 10 for the frontmen and their valentines. Sergio made his way over, sitting on one of the chairs and greeting the other backmen with a nod..
"Did you guys manage?" Sergio asked as Segnor Red Card jumped out of his pocket yet again, landing on his shoulder. All he got in reply was a bunch of nods, even from Maguire who seemed very proud of himself. And Pique even sent Maguire a small smirk, so Sergio knew he could trust that.
… Probably anyways
"Alright! We're ready to start!" Cristiano said as he sat down, "Lionel, would you do the honors?"
"Sure" Messi shrugged, turning to the camera 'crew', which consisted of just Son "Son, in 3, 2, 1-"
"We're back" Cristiano said to the camera "Two hours later! And we're all ready to show off our valentines" he then smirked "BUT before we do that, there's one thing I need to add"
Sergio raised an eyebrow, staring at the Portuguese man, wondering what he could possibly be on about now..
"For the sake of knowing if your valentine is here of their own free will and consensually, we will also be kissing our valentines of the lips" the man added, crossing his arms over his chest, "Just in case"
"Ah fuck-" Benzema said
And Ronaldo's eyes widened, not knowing that he would be sabotaging his own team "Karim?! You kidnapped someone?!"
"No!" Benzema def defended himself, "It's just that uh… um.."
"What?" Cristiano glared, "Don't tell me you didn't bring anyone at all?"
"No no, I did" Benzema cleared his throat "It's just.." he groaned "Just show the valentines"
Cristiano hummed in thought.. "Fine, whatever. The backmen can start!" He looked to the backmen, the camera panning over to the 5 people..
"Sergio, why don't you start?"
"My pleasure" Sergio smirked, "Oh valentine! Come on in!"
And suddenly gasps filled the room as Luka Modrić, as beautiful and as amazing as ever, walked into the room. Granted, he seemed a bit nervous, due to the camera panning to him and the shocked stared and gasps he was was receiving, but Sergio liked all of him.
"L.. LUKA MODRIĆ?" Mbappe wondered, wide eyed, "You chose Luka Modrić???"
Sergio shrugged, watching as Luka walked over. The Croat was even about to sit next to him, but Sergio pulled him forward, sitting him on his lap. Luka sat on his thighs, side pressed to his chest as he wrapped his arms around his waist to keep him from falling. "Yup, why not? Me and Segnor Red Card like him."
"Why didn't I think of him-" Karim wondered
"No fucking way" Messi threw his hands up, "There's no way he's here of his own free will! Do we call security??"
Sergio glared
"THEY CAN KISS TO PROVE IT, DUMBASSES" Segnor yelled, "Just watch them! It's all consensual!"
Luka blinked, before turning to Sergio "Kiss you?"
"Yeah, so consensual" Messi rolled his eyes, "I'm calling security-"
"MOVE A SINGLE MUSCLE, MESSI, AND I'LL EXAMINE YOUR PROSTATE WITH MY TEETH"
… "Okay, Segnor Red Card"
Luka shrugged before pressing a kiss to Sergio's lips, sweet and gentle, and Sergio was quick to kiss back, squeezing Luka close to him.
The room got quiet and Sergio could feel shocked eyes staring at them, but he really couldn't care less.
He was winning AND he had an awesome player on his lap.
What more could he want?
"Sergio?"
The Spaniard pulled away from Luka, looking at the Red Card "What?"
"Does that mean we're sharing Luka-"
"This video was a mistake" Haaland facepalmed
