Chapter Text
Well, Imogen, you’ve really done it to yourself.
Imogen sighed and flopped back on the couch, staring aimlessly at the stippled ceiling.
“Still haven’t figured out your whole housing situation yet?”
Imogen turned to face Orym, who had just walked into the living room carrying two gently steaming mugs of tea.
“How’d you guess?”
“Well, first of all, I just want to let you know that Ash, Dorian, and I are all really happy to have you.” Orym paused to take a sip from his mug.
“But?”
“You did tell us, ‘I’m absolutely, definitely, on top of getting a lease, y’all’ about three weeks ago.”
Wow, Orym’s impression of me is gettin’ good- I really have been hanging around here for too long.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just tough finding a place I can afford this close to the start of the semester. And then if I’m going to have a roommate to split the rent, I have to worry about if they’re going to be some psychopath or-”
“It’s okay, Imogen! Really. We all just want to make sure you’re set before classes start so it doesn’t stress you out. I’d be happy to help you screen roommates too.” Orym’s warm smile turned to a slight grin. “I should mention that Ashton volunteered as well but I don’t know if you want them to be your representative.”
“Yeah, no, that’d probably go south real fast.” Imogen allowed herself a small giggle at the thought before sighing again. “I’ll just make a post on the uni housing page or something. Lord knows I’m not making any progress on my own.”
It really was her fault. Her freshman year in the dorms she had lucked out and snagged a single, which was very convenient at the time, but unfortunately left her without a natural roommate for her first year off campus. She’d been fortunate enough to make some close friends throughout the year but had turned down their offer to find a place all together due to aspirations of independence and some deeply misplaced optimism.
“Well, let me know if you want any help.” Orym set down the second mug on the coffee table in front of her. “Also, I figured you were in more of a calm chamomile mood than a zesty citrus green, so there’s no caffeine in yours.”
Imogen flipped over and reached out for the tea, slowly bringing it to her nose and letting the aroma wash over her. “Thanks Orym. That’s perfect.”
“No problem. And Imogen?”
“Yeah?”
“If you do get murdered, can you will me your scholarship?”
Imogen rolled her eyes and chucked a cushion at Orym, who easily dodged and scampered out of the room with a hearty laugh.
-----
Hi, my name is Imogen, and I’m a rising sophomore majoring in astronomy! I’m looking for a roommate to split a two-bedroom apartment. Pets are fine. Ideally no smoking or hosting parties, sorry! Shoot me a message if you’re interested!
Imogen read over her post for the millionth time, finger hovering over the enter key.
Too many exclamation points maybe? Does it make me look too desperate? At the very least It definitely makes me sound like a total square.
Resigning herself to her fate, Imogen hit “Submit” and looked up from her phone at the wall calendar Dorian had hung up just a few days prior. On brand as always, each month’s spread featured ‘inspirational’ (some might say tacky) lyrics and quotes from various creatives. This month, cartoon renderings of celebrity couple Taryon and Lawrence Darrington proudly proclaimed “All you need is love!” in large rainbow bubble letters.
Thanks for that Tary, really helpful.
Imogen had not had a particularly successful love life in college. Due to a heaping serving of social anxiety, she just hadn’t been able to muster the energy to go to many of the queer mixers or events Orym and the others had first met at. And besides, what was she even going to do if she did find someone she wanted to date? Certainly not talk to them. That would be much too reasonable.
Imogen’s musing was interrupted by a tinny ding from her phone.
Don’t get your hopes up, it’s probably just Ashton texting if we need milk or somethin'.
Squinting in faint disbelief, Imogen sat up and read the notification.
Laudna Bradbury commented: “Hello! Message me if you’re still looking for someone!”
“What…” Imogen mumbled to herself.
Of course I’m still looking for someone, it’s been like ten minutes. That’s a little weird, ‘Laudna Bradbury.’
Still, a lead was a lead, and Imogen unlocked her phone to investigate. Navigating to Laudna’s profile, she saw that Laudna was also a student at Jrusar University studying visual arts, and either had one pet rat that she really, really liked to take glamour shots of, or about a hundred pet rats with one headshot each.
I guess I did say pets were fine. And honestly it’s a bit cute.
Imogen tabbed over to her messages and started typing.
Imogen: Hi! Yeah, I’m still looking for a roommate! Do you want to meet at the coffee shop in the student center tomorrow?
Almost immediately, three dots appeared at the bottom of the chat window.
Laudna: Sounds lovely! How about at 10 AM?
Imogen groaned inwardly. She had really let her sleep schedule slide over the summer and getting out of bed, much less to campus, by 10 AM was going to be a struggle. Still, better to not let a potential roommate think you’re a degenerate before you’ve even moved in together.
Imogen: Sure thing! See you there.
-----
Nobody in the history of Exandria has worked as hard to find a roommate as I have.
False? Probably. Dramatic? Definitely. But Imogen was allowing herself a little whining as she trudged to the student center, purple hair still dripping from a wake-up shower. Orym, ever the early bird, had offered to go in her place, but Imogen was determined to do it herself. Just this once, pride had overcome both anxiety and sleepiness.
Maybe she won’t even show up and I’ll just get to go back home and take a nap.
Nearing the entrance, Imogen drew in a deep breath and straightened her back.
Come on Imogen, you can do this. Worst case scenario, you can just leave and tell Orym, Ash, and Dorian you’re living on their couch forever. Or something. We’re going to have to work on our pep talk skills sometime.
Pulling open the door, Imogen took one look around the café and immediately froze.
Oh my god. Oh no. Oh wow.
Sitting at a table close to the entrance was the unmistakable figure of Laudna Bradbury. After taking a moment to collect herself, Imogen’s second thought was that Laudna was very, very tall- something she could not have guessed from only the small profile photo she had seen before. This feature was only accentuated by Laudna’s slight build and fashionably baggy outfit, and, combined with the elegant sharpness of her features, gave her a distinctly model-esque air. Even her jet black hair, though only pulled back into a simple bun, seemed to glimmer slightly in the sunlight.
“Hello! You must be Imogen! I so love your hair! Purple looks absolutely lovely on you.”
Imogen’s brain had scarcely rebooted enough to make sure her mouth was closed before Laudna’s voice, musical and lilting, sent her scrambling again.
“I, uh, wow. Your voice is real pretty. I mean sorry, I’m Imogen, yeah.”
“Oh! That’s so sweet! You’re too kind.”
Please be gay. Pleeaaaase be gay.
“Please-pleased! Pleased to meet you! That’s what I am.”
That was really smooth, Imogen, great work. A+.
Laudna gestured to an unoccupied chair at her table, and Imogen, remembering where she was with a start, hurried over and stumbled into it.
“I was so happy to see your post, Imogen! I’m also quite noise-sensitive, and smoke is just so bad for Pâté’s cute little lungs.” Laudna gestured to a cat carrier on the ground next to her, which contained a large black rat. It looked up through the plastic window, small pink nose twitching excitedly as if it somehow understood what she had said.
“Yeah, no problem. Happy to be of help,” Imogen muttered as the retroactive embarrassment from the past minute crashed down on her all at once.
Laudna’s face broke into a wide smile. “Lovely! Well, Imogen, do you have any questions for me?”
“Um, well. I guess just if there’s somethin’ that would be a dealbreaker for you. In a roommate, I mean.”
“Oh, I’m really not very particular- you just need to be okay with my friend Pâté here!” Laudna gave the rat a cheerful wave, and Pâté chirped in agreement, whiskers fluttering around his snout.
“Oh sure, he’s cute! I suppose I’d also like to hear about your non-rodent hobbies? Get to know you a bit so you’ll at least feel a bit bad if you decide to murder me?”
Perfect. Coming off real normal here.
Completely unfazed, Laudna nodded and replied, “Well, I love painting and drawing and all sorts of arts and crafts. Oh! I tattoo also!” She rolled up one of her sleeves, revealing a collection of botanical designs inked in delicate linework on her pale skin. Imogen couldn’t help but stare, entranced, as images of vines and flowers almost seemed to move of their own accord as Laudna rotated and flexed her forearm to better display her work.
Gods help me.
-----
The rest of Imogen’s day consisted of alternating bursts of excitement at somehow stumbling into a scenario of almost rom-com levels of wish fulfillment and deep embarrassment at embodying every stereotype of the disaster lesbian at once.
It was in the latter mode that Orym and Dorian found her, sitting cross-legged on the floor with her face in her hands.
“What’s the matter Imogen? Are you alright?” Orym’s voice was tinged with concern as he plopped down next to her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“Oh, no, I’m fine! Just sitting,” Imogen said slightly hysterically, voice muffled by her palms.
“What’s going on then? Bad roommate interview? It’s not your fault!” Dorian joined them on the ground, sitting on the other side of her with his hands tucked underneath his legs.
“No, it’s nothing, y’all. The meeting went great, Laudna seems really nice.”
There was a brief moment of silence as Orym and Dorian seemed to run through every possible explanation in their heads.
“Does it feel real now, and thinking about moving is stressing you out?” offered Orym.
“Was it the coffee? I always feel like the freckly barista over extracts it.” prompted Dorian.
“That guy is a hack, but no, she thinks Laudna is hot and is being a gay little disaster about it!” Ashton gleefully called out from the kitchen.
“You can kiss my grits Ash, you don’t know that!” Imogen yelled back, protests betrayed instantly by the blush creeping up her cheeks. “She just seems really cool and artsy and I’m worried she’s going to think I’m boring or something. I don’t even have any room decorations planned!”
“Oh really? Then why did I find a pastry from the campus café without a single nibble on it in the fridge? That’s not worried-about-making-friends Imogen, that’s nervous-wreck-over-a-girl Imogen for sure.” Ashton sauntered in holding a danish aloft like an auctioneer showing off a particularly prized item. “It’s just fuckin’ wasteful. Plus, I took a bite and I’m pretty sure this shit is vegan, so unless you’ve made some recent lifestyle choices, you weren’t even paying attention when you ordered! Checkmate Immy.”
“Okay Nancy Drew, whatever.” Imogen glared up at the gloating Ashton. “But look, I don’t even know her! It’d be silly for me to be crushing on her.” Imogen turned to look at the blank expressions on Orym and Dorian’s faces. “I mean, right?”
“Imogen…” Orym took a deep breath before speaking gently. “Remember the brunette in your intro chem class?”
“Yeah, it took me three months to work up the courage to talk to her and she ended up being straight, thanks for that, Orym.”
“And the mousey girl in your gen ed seminar? Or the blonde you saw literally one time in the dining hall at the fruit station?”
“Oh my god, Imogen spent like ten minutes loitering around the oranges every day at lunch for like a month after that, how could I forget!” Dorian exclaimed.
“Okay, fine, fine I get it! But I’ve learned my lesson. This time will be different.” Imogen could hear her pulse ringing in her ears as her complexion veered decidedly towards tomato red. “I’m not gonna have a crush on my mysterious tattooed roomm-“
“She’s got tattoos? You’re absolutely fucked.” Ashton cackled and spun out of the room.
Orym shared a knowing look with Dorian before pushing himself up off the floor, one corner of his mouth curled into the hint of a smile.
“So… when are you going to see Laudna next?”
“We were going to check out a place on Monday, why?”
“Oh, nothing, just curious what the new lesbian U-Haul world record is going to be.”
Bless their little hearts, I'm going to murder them all in their sleep.