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Thursday Night Madness
James liked John. John was a more mild version of himself. A soldier who had a brilliant man to put up with…who also happened to be an animal half the time, literally. “I hope the man didn’t get caught up.”
“Greg, right?”
“Yes, he’s usually here on time, when he isn’t he’s usually in trouble or caught up with something at work.”
“Happens to the best of us.”
“I know. So, how’s Ford.”
“He’s fine. Does Sherlock get a bit moody if he isn’t an animal every now and then?”
“Sherlock’s always moody, but he gets worse. I don’t know, I suspect it’s like neglecting a whole half of themselves. Scary as hell to wake up to a fucking panther though. Even worse to be out on a case in the middle of nowhere and then suddenly being tackled by a damn panther. He saved me from getting shot that time though, so I can’t complain too much about the bruises and gashes that followed.”
“I don’t have that problem with Q, sorry, Ford. I mean, he weighs next to nothing, but he isn’t fun to piss off. He loves to bite and scratch.”
“You’re lucky he’s a little thing. Trying to hide a panther is not easy. At least you could tuck him in your coat if you had to sneak him anywhere.”
“I could. Does yours like tuna?”
“I wish.” John shook his head and tossed back a drink. “No, steaks…erm, raw usually. It leaves an awful mess. Thank heavens Mrs. Hudson is so lovely. We’ve had to have things cleaned up quickly on several occasions and she’s always been there. I could never handle Sherlock on my own.”
“Thank God he doesn’t eat steaks like that.”
“Out of curiosity, does yours bring home dead mice or birds?” John asked.
“Does yours?”
“If there is one in the flat, it’s dead.”
“Same here. And he acts so smug.” James shook his head.
“Mine does too! Doesn’t even eat the thing, just leaves it there.”
“And then complains about it when he’s himself again.” James nodded.
“Mine too. God it’s awful.” John shook his head.
“But he is cute and fuzzy.”
“And they’re so cuddly and playful, you can’t say no.”
“Out of curiosity, when Ford is around, if I run my fingers through his hair he seriously melts, does yours do that?”
“Definitely. And his belly too. But, anyone else touches him and his first instinct is to bite. He nearly bit Anderson once and…sorry a copper we work with sometimes.”
“Ford doesn’t bite when he’s himself, he just tenses a bit if he isn’t really comfortable with someone. Do they all heal faster when you know, they’re Hunter and Shadow?”
“Yup, don’t know why, but they do. Oh thank God, Greg made it.” A man with grey hair sat down next to John, smiling.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m fine, got caught up with uh…something.”
“I’ll get you a drink.”
“No thanks, just em…coke or something. You must be James, glad to meet you. Glad that Sherrinford’s finally got someone. He’s such a kind man. I always worried about him being alone.”
“Nice to meet you Greg.”
“Coke?” John asked carefully, looking at Greg. “Is it what I think it is?”
“Yes, but you mustn’t tell because we don’t know and…you know what happened...”
“Of course.” John nodded.
“Thank you. So you’ve got the kitten then.” Greg smiled.
“I do.”
“Well welcome to the family. At least you got the sane one, though in fairness I suppose every family needs one sane member, even the Holmes family.”
800Q8
Q was laying on the couch nearly naked except for a pair of sweatpants that were barely clinging to his hips, obviously James’ not his. “Welcome home.” Q commented, not looking up from his book. James smiled and leaned over the couch, kissing down Q’s neck.
“Those are mine.”
“They’re comfy.”
“They look better on you, keep them.”
“You just like that they don’t fit.”
“Exactly.” James, smirked, kissing behind Q’s ear. Q twisted and pressed a kiss to James’ lips.
“How was the group therapy session, then?”
“Insightful, glad to know a few more things about you. By the way, never eat raw steak in front of me, please.”
“Not going to happen. I usually only chew on living things that disappoint me.” Q winked. “Or for fun.”
“Or if it’s a mouse.”
“Hey, I don’t eat them, just kill them. It’s like hunting for sport.”
“Sure.” James hummed.
“How else did it go?”
“They’re nice guys, I suppose, not nearly as disastrous as Alec, though.” James nudge Q up and Q sat up, before laying back down across James’ lap when he sat down.
“You should see John on a bad day. Mycroft once hired him for an assassination. Most lovely shot I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Should I be worried?”
“No.” Q smiled.
“Does Greg not drink?” Q’s face suddenly became very serious.
“What?”
“Well, John drank more than I did and Greg didn’t have a single drop, is he against it or something?”
“Oh…” Q said slowly sitting up.
“What is it?”
“We need to have a talk. I was going to talk to you about this, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I need you to be very opened minded.”
“I’m living with a shape shifter, Q.” James nodded.
“Good point… So, there is obviously some weird physiology with me and my family, considering that I shrink to a very small size and grow back and both of my brothers get larger and shrink back, so obviously there’s some very weird biology already in us right?”
“Right.”
“Do you know anything about seahorses?”
“What? No, not really.”
“Good, forget the seahorses, that is a rubbish comparison, seeing as the woman still technically has the eggs even if the male does technically carry them.”
“Wait, what?”
“My older brother is pregnant. That is why Greg wasn’t drinking, neither of them drink when Mycroft is pregnant. They made a pact the first time. Now I suspect they’re more worried than ever after the miscarriages.”
“What?”
“It’s an adaption thing, plus some animals do have males that technically give birth, so the males on the Vernet side tend to have the…bits to do the pregnancy bit… It’s very strange and I really don’t want to get into the anatomy of it all, but it’s there. Um…”
“Wow…okay, didn’t expect that.”
“I thought you might, what with me having my own specific doctor in Medical or me insisting on condoms.”
“I just thought you didn’t trust me.” Q’s face fell completely.
“James, that’s not true.” Q gently held his face in his hands. “I do trust you. I don’t trust my body, but I trust you. Besides, I would be able to tell if you were sick from the job. Super smell and all that. Besides, I know how careful you are. I know you get checked before you ever come back to me. I know that. I trust you, James, I do.”
“So it’s just…”
“Birth control really…and this is why I really didn’t want to have this conversation, so fucking awkward.”
“It’s going to take a little while to wrap my head around it… But…okay. So, Mycroft is…?”
“Yes, it would seem. We can’t speak of it. It’s a huge risk for him and he’s already frightened enough I’d wager, considering what’s happened.”
“He lost the others?”
“Yes… He didn’t take it well, either time. The poor man. Made it fifteen weeks the last time. It wasn’t good.”
“I can’t imagine it being good.”
“No, not at all… Anyway, sorry about dropping that in your lap, um… I’ll just…go and make food or something.”
“Not tuna.”
“Why not?”
“Mercury, Q.”
“You’re no fun.” Q sighed, and smiled before deciding on steaks just to annoy James (he cooked them of course, but the intent was still there).