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There was nothing that escaped the purview of one 2nd Class Soldier Kunsel. Like a fly on the wall - or, more aptly described, a Turk in a crowd - Kunsel saw everything.
The cafeteria’s secret ingredient for their famed beef stew? Kunsel knew that. It was tapioca.
The culprit who had snuck itching powder into Luxiere’s uniform? Kunsel knew that too. It was Roche, of course.
What about the secret meetings that took place long after curfew? Of course Kunsel knew about those, but that information would come at a price. What, he wasn’t going to reveal all of his secrets just like that.
Yes, in a world where Shinra dominated the land, knowledge was a power few were able to wield. Much like optimizing one’s materia loadout, the correct nuggets of information could fell even enemies as powerful as the mighty Sephiroth himself. It was for this reason that Kunsel collected as much intel as he could, filing each scrap away in his mind like some kind of packrat.
He made it a point not to make too many ripples lest he draw too much attention to himself. If he was as famous as the three 1sts, gathering his information would be much harder. No, best to simply blend in with the rank and file, keep his helmet securely fastened at almost all times, and allow everyone to underestimate him. It would be their loss, should push come to shove.
There was just one exception: Zack fucking Fair.
There wasn’t a SOLDIER alive who didn’t know of Zack. If his meteoric rise through the ranks didn’t garner enough attention, his sunny disposition did. His charm, cheer, and pure optimism had won the hearts of SOLDIERs and employees alike. Hell, it had even dug its way past the stern attitude of Angeal, earning him a spot as his trainee. Angeal! Not just anybody earned that spot.
It was only natural for Zack to worm his way under Kunsel’s perfectly average, perfectly plain, perfectly boring persona too, befriending him almost as soon as he passed his exams. How could anyone hold firm against his boundless charisma? No mortal man, that’s for sure. Besides, having a friend around to gossip about the latest drama was nice, and Zack’s reactions were always the best.
No, allowing Zack into his inner circle wasn’t exactly a problem. The issue lay elsewhere.
It had started subtly, flying under his normally sharp radar. Zack had an infectious smile, so of course it would effortlessly draw one out of Kunsel too. Zack’s larger than life personality always filled a room, so it was only natural for Kunsel’s eyes to linger on him, even when they weren’t talking. His country boy heart and unbridled affection was a rarity in a place like Shinra, so obviously Kunsel would feel warmed right to the tips of his toes every time Zack slung an arm around him.
It was only when he jolted awake in the dead of night with the lingering feeling of a dreamed kiss on his lips that he realized how stupid he had been.
Okay then. So maybe he had a crush on Zack. Honestly, who wouldn’t? There was nothing he couldn’t love about him, from his attractive features to his caring personality. Maybe his puppy demeanor could be off putting at first, but much like a puppy you couldn’t just not fall in love with him. Not when he widened his eyes, clasped his hands together, and tilted his head in that quintessential Fair pleading look that had worked too many times to count.
He could be a real airhead sometimes - Kunsel still remembered when he stood directly in front of the briefing room and asked where it was - but he was a lot sharper than most gave him credit for. He knew exactly how to draw Angeal out of his workaholic shell, navigate the capricious mood swings of Genesis without getting singed, and even thaw Sephiroth’s icy demeanor to earn a faint smile or two. He could even pick apart Kunsel, despite how highly he prided himself on his secrets.
As his best friend, Kunsel liked to say he knew Zack the best. He knew what his favourite food was, what his dreams were, and the insecurities he hid under broad smiles and subtle misdirection. In his humble opinion, no one knew the best hang out spots that would make Zack the happiest, nor the right words to boost his spirit like Kunsel did.
Much of it was likely useless information, valuable only in a sentimental way, but Kunsel absorbed and stored everything he could. It was instinctual, a habit, and was probably doing him no favours in the crush department.
Kunsel liked Zack, no doubt about it.
Zack did not like Kunsel back, of that he was sure.
It wasn’t that Kunsel didn’t think he was worthy of being Zack’s partner, of course not. He knew his friend well enough that he would make the perfect boyfriend. No, the problem was the girl in the slums that Zack was constantly sneaking away to visit. It didn’t take a genius to see that he was sweet on her.
That was fine with Kunsel. So long as Zack was happy, he was happy. He’d never let his own feelings jeopardize his friendship.
Now if only he could deal with this stupid crush…
~-~
“Heeeey Kunsel!”
Kunsel’s eyes slowly slid up from the laptop he had been staring at for the better part of three hours. Behind it stood Zack, a wide smile stretched across his face as he faintly vibrated with repressed energy. It was an expression he was far, far too familiar with.
“You’re not busy, right?” Zack placed his hands on either side of Kunsel’s laptop, leaning close. His gaze darted down to his screen, going cross eyed as he tried to read the report Kunsel had been working through: a report which, by Zack’s vantage, was upside down. He had to give him points for trying.
Kunsel sighed quietly. He was busy, drowning in paperwork from a mission that had gone south last week. However, nothing he said was going to persuade Zack to leave him alone. Not when he had that look on his face.
“No. What’s up?”
It was hard to be exasperated when Zack lit up the way he did, pleased with his answer. Kunsel ignored how his traitorous heart beat just a little bit faster.
Reaching into his pockets, Zack procured two rectangular pieces of paper and waved them about. Kunsel squinted, but couldn’t make out what they said with how Zack was moving them. “I got us tickets to a concert tonight! Good seats too. You in? They’re your faaaavourite!” When it came to combat, Zack was usually faster. However, Zack was also an unfocused barrage that could be outsmarted easily enough. So it was no trouble at all for Kunsel to snap his hand out and catch Zack by the wrist. Ignoring his indignant squawk, Kunsel jerked his hand closer so he could read the tickets.
Well, he’ll be damned. Zack wasn’t lying. He did indeed have two front row seat tickets to Kunsel’s favourite band.
“Holy shit Zack, where did you get these?” He knew that there was no way Zack could have afforded these on his salary. Had they been a gift? He was friendly with the Turks, a job Kunsel knew paid very well. Maybe one of them was behind this. But did Zack even like this band?
These thoughts were dashed as Zack put his hands on his hips, far too smug for regifting an innocuous present. “I won them!”
Kunsel stared blankly at his friend. “You won them.”
“Sure did!”
“From where?”
“Eh, the details aren’t important.”
There were so many things wrong with that statement that Kunsel didn’t know where to start. Yet as he opened his mouth to pry for more information, the words died in his throat.
Zack was nervous, and not in a way that Kunsel had ever seen him before. He’d seen him work himself up into a tizzy over a hard mission, sure, but this was different. He was fidgeting with the corners of the tickets, bending and twisting them between idle fingers, but there was no restless energy demanding to be expelled via squats.
If Kunsel didn’t know any better, he’d say that Zack almost seemed shy.
“It’s okay if you’re too busy or something.” He continued, eyes fixated on Kunsel’s laptop instead of his face, and that wasn’t right either. Zack’s voice wasn’t supposed to sound like that. Zack’s voice had never sounded like that in all of the time Kunsel had known him.
Clearly something was wrong, but Kunsel knew better than to ask Zack straight out. His guard only raised higher when he was confronted, stubbornly laughing away any concerns and changing the subject. Kunsel’s best bet was to play along, wait for his guard to lower, and then catch him unaware.
So he just smiled back, pretending not to notice the restless fidgeting. “Didn’t I just tell you that I wasn’t busy? You’re not going to weasel out of this now. I’m coming with you.”
The uncharacteristic mood vanished from Zack in an instant as he brightened once more, shining a smile at Kunsel that had no right to make his heart clench the way it did. “For real? Sweet!”
It wasn’t fair how much of a hold Zack had on him. One of these days, he was going to get him back.
Before he could think twice, Zack was reaching over to ruffle Kunsel’s hair hard enough to shake his head. His hand quickly retreated before Kunsel could swat at him. Jerk. “Okay! I’ll meet you at the train station at 5:00!”
Then he was gone, leaving Kunsel with the lingering feeling of his hand in his hair. He sighed and looked at the report that was definitely not getting finished tonight.
This crush was going to be harder to get rid of than he thought.
~-~
Hours later and Zack’s weird mood had been quickly forgotten, smothered with lights and music. The concert had been everything Kunsel had been hoping for and more. It was more than worth the stress he’d be under tomorrow trying to finish up that report.
It seemed like Zack had thoroughly enjoyed himself as well, erasing any misgivings that he had never liked the group in the first place. As they spilled out of the venue he was all smiles and laughs, arm locked with Kunsel’s. Too distracted with his cheer, it was down to Kunsel to pull his friend through the crowd, smoothly steering him away from the other concert goers.
“Man, did you see those fireworks?!” Zack crowed, free hand thrown up to the sky in some imitation of the display. Kunsel nodded faintly, tugging Zack out of the way of one of the street’s trash cans. “It was so cool! I’ve never seen ones like that before!”
The crowd thinned as Zack continued to babble, leaving them with much more breathing room. Kunsel felt safe enough to steal a glance over at his friend.
Big mistake.
Zack had always been beautiful, no matter what he was doing, but this was something else. Under the moonlight he looked downright ethereal, features sharpened with the shadows yet still appearing soft enough to touch. A faint breeze ruffled his hair and conveniently blasted Kunsel with the scent of his shampoo: a mix of coconut and lavender. His eyes twinkled with mirth and mako as he shot him a smile that took his breath away.
And that’s right when Kunsel walked directly into a pole.
“Whoa there!” Before Kunsel could process his extremely embarrassing fuck-up, he found himself yanked directly into that coconut lavender scent. Zack was pulling him close, hands firm on Kunsel’s arms, face hovering mere inches away from Kunsel’s as he surveyed him.
“Are you good?”
He looked so openly concerned that Kunsel just wanted to kiss him to bring that smile b–
No. Goddess, what is he? Some school aged boy with his first crush? He’s way better than this!
After a few moments of intense contemplation, Zack nodded to himself. “Nothing looks broken, but you’re a little red. You’ll probably have a nasty bruise in the morning… I’m sure the mako will take care of it real fast.”
Red? Was Kunsel seriously blushing? He was never going to live this down… Thank fuck Zack was being dense about this.
“Y-Yeah, fuck. I’m good, man. Don’t worry about me.” Kunsel waved him off, rubbing the spot where the pole had connected with his face. It was definitely tender. Zack was probably right about the bruise. Great… Hopefully his helmet would cover it.
Zack tilted his head towards him, his concern less blatant but not gone either. Kunsel felt himself flush deeper at the attention. It was only his experience that prevented him from burying his face into his hands and silently screaming out his frustration.
Out of pure luck, it didn’t seem like Zack was going to press him on it. His features relaxed into his usual easygoing smile, soothing his embarrassment as quickly as salve to a fresh wound. Kunsel felt the tension in his shoulders receding, unable to help the way his lips quirked back at him. It was just too damn infectious.
Then the moment shifted. Zack’s smile morphed into that same awkward, shy, uncertain look he had been wearing back at headquarters, and Kunsel was suddenly struck by the memory that he was supposed to be helping Zack with whatever was bothering him. Sheesh, what kind of a best friend was he?
“Hey-” Zack started before cutting himself off, a flash of frustration crossing his features. He huffed out a harsh breath. “Can I be honest with you for a sec?”
A statement like that could never not raise alarm bells. As Zack shifted from foot to foot, nervous energy coming off of him in waves, Kunsel felt a sinking feeling of dread and anticipation seep into his gut. It was almost Pavlovian.
He swallowed hard, stilled his hands, and played it casual. “Always, man. You know me.”
Despite his nerves, Zack’s lips twitched up into a faint smile for the briefest of moments. Then it was gone, replaced by that anxious wrongness that set Kunsel’s nerves on edge. The laugh that followed was too tight and devoid of any mirth. “Hell, I shouldn’t be doing this here. I had a plan-”
“You had a plan?” Kunsel cuts in before his brain can catch up with him. The need to hone in on information was instinctive.
Zack flinches at the interruption. It was clear that wasn’t meant to be said out loud, a habit of his that he had been doing for as long as Kunsel had known him. In any other moment, it’d be endearing. Right now, it was making the feeling in his gut worse.
“Uh- kind of?” Zack rubbed the back of his neck in an awkward gesture. His nervous energy had increased tenfold. “The concert was kind of part of it too.”
For once in his life, Kunsel had no idea where this conversation was going. That scared him more than he’d care to admit.
Another laugh, more strained this time. “You see, I kinda had this whole thing set out right? I’ve had it planned for a long time, but then I kept stalling ‘cause I was worried about what you would say-”
“You were worried about what I’d say?” Kunsel echoed. That was his second mistake, as Zack’s eyes went wide and he began stumbling over his words.
“W-Well- I mean- It’s kind of a big deal? It was all going to be a big deal but then I kept stalling and the tickets were for tonight so I just came out with it and you- you just- I mean, you had this look and- And I thought maybe now would be the right time because I can’t just keep holding it in but maybe I should have just done it in the park like I wanted to and-”
“Zack.” Kunsel placed his hands on both of Zack’s shoulders, bringing his mounting panic to a screeching halt. “Breathe.”
Zack’s eyes were still too wide to be normal - Zack shouldn’t be nervous about social outings, especially with Kunsel - but he obeyed and steadied his breathing. Kunsel gave his shoulders a reassuring squeeze and opened his mouth to prompt him further when-
“I think I’m in love with you.”
Kunsel did not just hear that.
Zack fucking Fair, darling of the SOLDIER program with at least a million admirers, did not just blurt out a love confession in the middle of the street.
This must be some kind of dreamworld because it was just too nonsensical to be true. Maybe Kunsel had hit his head and was massively hallucinating. Maybe he was bleeding out in a ditch somewhere, thinking back on all the things he wished would happen. Maybe he had just gone crazy.
“Hold on-” He choked out, cutting Zack off before he could launch into another frenzied tangent. “What about that flower girl?”
Now it was Zack’s turn to look confused, blinking once, then twice. “Aerith? We aren’t dating.”
“But you-” Kunsel gestured, at a loss for words.
His intel had never been wrong before.
SOLDIER 2nd Class Kunsel did not make mistakes like this.
The smile he received was still full of jittery nerves and faint apprehension, but it was better than the deer-in-the-headlights look Zack had been wearing earlier. “She shot me down. Like, immediately.” He winced. “We’re just friends.”
As Kunsel stood there, spluttering for words and desperately trying to comprehend the reality he was being told, realization dawned on him. The nerves, the conveniently timed tickets, the odd way he’d been acting as of late, the touches that lingered two seconds too long-
In his determination to squash his crush, he had made a sweeping assumption about Zack’s feelings and ignored all signs that pointed otherwise.
Kunsel had to be the stupidest person in the entire SOLDIER program.
He wasn’t sure what he was feeling at that moment - anger for developing such an obvious blind spot, perhaps, or maybe disbelief that it was Zack who had outsmarted him - but it came out in a laugh that bordered on hysterical. Zack smiled back, hesitant and awkward, and Kunsel distantly realized that he had never actually given him a proper response.
“Um. It’s okay if you don’t-”
In that moment, Kunsel decided exactly what he was feeling: frustration. Frustration that he could have been doing what he was about to do months ago if he had just thought for one stupid second.
Dragging Zack down into a strong kiss was the first thing that had felt right this entire day.
Of course Zack was startled, and maybe Kunsel had pulled too hard and too fast in his haste as Zack’s forehead knocked sharply into still tender skin. However, his buffering only lasted a few moments before he was surging to meet the kiss head on, hands anchoring somewhere at Kunsel’s waist.
He’s aware of the feeling of eyes on him, Midgar civilians no doubt surprised by the brazen display of almost aggressive affection. At another time, it may have bothered him; an opening for vulnerability, a weakness in his defence, a tool his enemies could use for blackmail and extortion. But at that moment, Kunsel couldn’t very well give a damn.
Kissing Zack was never something he was going to regret doing.
They pulled apart with harsh gasps when the need to breathe became too great. Zack’s face was adorably flushed, blinking wide eyed at him from under his bangs, lingering close enough that Kunsel could see the way his dilated pupils fought for space against the mako tinged blue. A moment later and Zack was grinning, closing the distance for another kiss.
Kunsel isn’t sure how long they stood there for, exchanging kisses and breathless laughs. Too long for the general public, maybe. At some point, Zack took his hand, lacing their fingers together.
“Did you still want to go to the park? I was gonna show you the stars.” His words were soft, but the nerves and hesitation were long gone. Instead his voice was filled with nothing but warm affection. Kunsel decided he liked this side of Zack the best.
“Sure buddy. Let’s go look at some stars.”
At some point, they would need to sit down and talk about exactly what they were now and what that meant. Kunsel knew the type of company Shinra was. He knew the type of job they did. There would need to be planning, contingencies, a careful reconstruction of his easy going and distant persona.
But that was the future.
In this moment, with Zack’s hand warm and solid in his own, all was right in the world. Kunsel was going to let himself enjoy it.
~-~
Knowledge was a power few knew how to wield. When used correctly, there was not an enemy it couldn’t fell.
Kunsel had been a valuable asset, overlooked by the company. He had been a fly on the wall, part of the ordinary rank and file: nothing outwardly special.
A snake in the grass. A wolf amongst sheep.
As he cradled Zack’s limp body in his arms, unconscious and glowing from the mako tank but alive, fucking alive, Kunsel knew that all of his preparation and scheming was about to pay off.
Knowledge was a power few knew how to wield, but Kunsel did. Kunsel knew intimately how to wield it.
And Shinra would live to regret crossing him.