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He should have been over this by now. Over her.
He’d never even spoken to her. Delly assured him that he could, that she wouldn’t ignore him or laugh in his face, but what could he possibly say to her? Compliment her singing voice? She hadn’t sung at school for years. Give his condolences for her father’s death? That had been years ago. Tell her he hoped her family was eating enough? Coming from the baker’s son, that wouldn’t be well-received at all.
The fact of the matter was that they had nothing in common, and even if she did give him the time of the day, what could he even say to her?
Besides, he was pretty sure there was something between her and Gale Hawthorne. Delly assured him that Madge Undersee said there was nothing there, and Madge was one of Katniss’s only friends, so it was possible.
But was he really willing to take that risk for a possibility?
He wasn’t brave enough for that. Hell, he wasn’t brave at all.
“It’s easy,” Delly said. “Just go over to her and introduce yourself.”
He looked over at Katniss Everdeen, with the voice that birds stopped to listen to, and was alarmed to find her looking back.
He looked away quickly.
“Everyone knows you’re crazy about her,” Delly said gently.
“If everyone knows, then she knows. And it’s not like she’s ever said anything to me.”
“Maybe she doesn’t know. Maybe it’s one of those things that everyone knows but her.”
Hawthorne knew. Peeta knew that. He could tell by the way Hawthorne looked at him.
Surely Hawthorne would have told her. Improved his own chances by laughing at the idea of a merchant’s kid ever understanding her life.
“Peeta,” Delly said, though she didn’t sound impatient. He realized he’d missed something she’d said.
“Sorry, Delly,” he said.
“You’re such a wonderful person. I’m sure she’ll see it too. You just need to tell her.”
“It’s not that easy,” he said, shaking his head.
Delly smiled, like she had an idea. Peeta started to get nervous; somehow, he was sure he wouldn’t like this idea one bit. Oh, Delly had her share of good ideas, but he was sure she was still fixated on Katniss – and there were no good ideas where Katniss Everdeen was concerned. No matter what, it was a lose-lose situation.
“The reaping is in a few months.”
“Don’t remind me.” Even though he didn’t have any extra entries – he hadn’t needed to take any tesserae; stale bread was still something to fill his belly – there was still a chance that his name would be called. Or his brother’s. Rye was still young enough to be reaped.
Either way, their district was small enough that he’d inevitably know whoever was reaped, even if it wasn’t anyone he actually cared about.
And historically, District Twelve didn’t do well in the Games.
“Why don’t you tell her after the reaping?”
“You want me to tell her I’m in love with her?” The very idea was horrifying. Katniss never gave him the time of day; he couldn’t just up and say something like that. Even if she was nice about it, the idea was mortifying.
“I’m not saying you should open with ‘Hi Katniss, I’m in love with you’, but you can ask her out on a date.”
He shrugged. He didn’t think his chances there were so great, either.
“If you ask her on a date after the reaping, I’ll ask the person I like on a date, too,” Delly said. “Like a pact.”
He didn’t just like Katniss – that was too simple a feeling – but he considered Delly’s words. “She’s going to laugh in my face.”
“She won’t. Katniss is nice; you’ll see.”
Yeah, so nice that the only people she put up with were Hawthorne and Madge. Madge was one thing; he liked Madge just fine. But Katniss and Hawthorne had some kind of bond that he couldn’t sort out, and Hawthorne made no secret of his contempt for the merchant class. Katniss probably shared that feeling, friendship with Madge or not.
Just because he was in love with her didn’t mean that he was totally blind to her faults.
Or to the fact that she didn’t want him.
“Oh, stop that, Peeta. Any girl would be lucky to have you, and I’m sure Katniss will see that.”
“What if she thinks it’s a joke?” That, after all, was a very real possibility.
“She knows you’re too nice for that,” Delly said.
Did she? Peeta wasn’t sure. Sure, he had a reputation for being nice, but he was still the baker’s son, and anyone could see the division between the merchant class and the Seam kids. There was every chance she’d think it was a joke.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” Delly said finally. “But I think you’ll be surprised.”
What did he have to lose? Besides his dignity, that was.
“Fine,” he said eventually. “But I’m telling you, she’ll say no.”
Maybe once she turned him down, he’d be able to move on. He’d be able to get through the day without thinking about her, without worrying that she had enough to eat (without thinking that if they married, he’d make sure she had enough to eat – and her whole family, too).
He stopped himself. That was a thought he tried his best not to touch.
He’d ask her after the reaping. Maybe she’d be nice when she let him down. Maybe she really would surprise him, and say yes. Not that he put much store in the latter.
Either way, he’d have his answer.
He just had to wait until after the reaping.