Chapter Text
Sam Winchester sat back in his office chair and felt like a god.
Sam was in an office that was on the top floor of the tallest building in the western hemisphere, located in Pennsylvania.
In 2003 Sam had developed teeth and jaw implants which delivered an artificially produced cocktail of fresh haemoglobin, Iron, blood plasma and platelets, into the bodies of vampires. The implants were fed by liquids which contained ingredients that were transformed by the implants into the fresh blood ingredients. The blood components were kept fresh by temperature control and by briefly electrifying them before depositing them into the vampire's bodies, making them effectively as if they were drinking fresh human blood. Their noses and tongues had been surgically altered so that upon their nerves blood, they wouldn't feel any sensational temptation for the blood of actual humans.
The vampires had been made able to satiate their hunger for the contents of blood, without needing to feed on humans for them.
39,564 vampires had been cured of their human blood thirst that way.
The vampires formed 34 covens.
Sam became a member of every coven, was welcomed with open arms
And Sam had supplied them with a special sun cream to make them permanently able to endure sunlight with no ill-effects.
Sam himself had voluntarily became a vampire.
The vampires formed 34 covens.
Sam became a member of every coven, was welcomed with open arms and the Alpha vampire himself had ceremoniously blessed him in front of the leaders of the covens.
But the vampires had to make lives for themselves somehow.
Being unable to die of natural causes, they had as much time as they wanted to research and develop things to leave their marks on the world. So Sam proposed that they and him work together to come up with ways to make the world a better place and which would make them rich.
They started the company "Risen".
Sam got cloned neurons from vampires and put them in his skull within a container that kept them fresh and with blood parts inserted after it'd gone through the same procedure as the blood that went through the implants in the vampires.
The vampire neurons were connected by scanners to parts of his brain which processed data sent by the eyes and ears, the scanners also sent signals from the vampire neurons to the brain parts that processed data.
The result was Sam was able to process more data and faster and for longer.
Unfortunately the neurons weren't connected to the bodies of actual vampires, so they were destroyed by necrosis.
Before the neurons were destroyed Sam used them to study for 9 master degrees. 3 in Stanford, 3 in Harvard and 3 in MIT.
He got a summa-cum-laudes at each university.
He used those degrees to make himself seem like a man who knew what he was doing, despite being just 22.
Risen needed a go-between, Sam was that go-between.
Risen developed cars which recycled fumes to use as fuel making cars able to travel for 30% more than they would without it.
Risen uses the knowledge of the centuries old vampires to help them come up with the conditions necessary to replicate wine which was made centuries ago which was considered by many to be better than modern wines, to make them the richest wine sellers in the world.
Risen used the knowledge the vampires who were centuries and millenniums old to become archaeologists who uncovered relics and locations which made them rich, and enabled them to make museums to make them rich.
Risen developed satellites which were put into space, making them millions, via getting Vampire who had the time from immortality to do the research necessary.
Risen used the super-human strength and stamina of vampires for mining and quarrying, when no-one was looking to save money on machinery when machinery wasn't needed.
Risen performed observations of the bodies of Vampires as they performed feats of super-human strength, speed and stamina. The observations revealed the physics of how they got their strength being due to an inter-dimensional force which was generated through their bodies' capacity to metabolise the blood contents. The observations enabled them to program computers to calculate how to artificially produce the effect of the force on the bodies of live humans, via permanently active chemicals, without side-effects. Risen produced permanent super-steroids from the research called "Nimrod", and sold it to customers who were given it by advanced surgery.
The steroid was, at first, only able to provide the customers added strength, speed and stamina that gave them a total of 90% more overall improved strength, speed and stamina than what they'd had beforehand.
But gradually Risen developed versions of "Nimrod" which gave the customers more and more physical improvement, making them more and more profit. As a result of Nimrod alone Sam, and 2,000 Vampires, were multi-billionaires, and the rest of the vampires were multi-millionaires.
They had a huge client list:
The militaries of the world.
Police forces.
Security guards.
Prison services.
Construction companies.
Hospital services.
Firefighters.
Politicians.
Zoos.
Divers.
Actors.
People who just wanted to get sexual partners.
Of course, governments all over the world had put restrictions on who was allowed to get Nimrod. The terms and conditions for Nimrod were that the applicants had to give their reasons for wanting Nimrod, give their occupations, had to have no criminal record, had to be adults, had to have no history of mental illness, had to have driver licences, had to be legally permanent residents of the countries they were in/went to, had to not be professional athletes (especially combatants) unless they were part of organisations wherein exclusively people on Nimrod competed, had to not be horse-riders for animal welfare, and many other terms and conditions applied.
The only people Risen gave Nimrod to for free were supernatural hunters, and they got it unofficially of course.
The Nobel prize for Nimrod went to the Vampire Olympia, who had done the scans and the formulations for Nimrod.
Olympia was a member of the Utrezan Vampire coven, which had the insignia of three hearts joined together by blood vessels, surrounded by a heptagon. The insignia became the logo of Nimrod, which was also the name of the company owned by Risen responsible for organising the usage of Nimrod.
Sam had been given the annual "Hunter of the year" award for that alone, much to the other hunter's envy.
In addition to Nimrod, the tests on the Vampire bodies had shown Risen how the vampires' bodies combatted cancer, radiation, viruses, bacteria, injury, poison and regrew individual body-parts.
Risen used the data and computer calculations, to produce artificially, and very quickly, grown body parts that were surgically implanted into the bodies of customers, to combat infections, poisons, to replace cancerous body-parts after the cancerous body-parts were removed, and to repair body-parts that'd been damaged by other things such as burns. The suit-case-sized machines used for that process were called the "Sirona" after a Celtic healing Goddess.
To demonstrate Sirona's effectiveness, Sam got 29 world-famous celebrities to swim in only normal swim-wear through radioactive waste that was 100 times stronger than the landscape of Chernobyl. They then got washed by water showers, then their lives were saved by Sirona.
The celebrities did the swimming, showering and the being saved by Sirona all in front of cameras which went to the world's news networks.
The largest news networks in the US of course, were being bribed by the pharmaceuticals to not release such information to the public.
But the smaller news networks in the US weren't being bribed by pharmaceuticals, so they blasted the success of Sirona, all over the country.
Risen went to parts of the world where the media were not in the pockets of the pharmaceuticals and they made Sirona a global success.
Risen bribed the Catholic Church with the construction of churches (much to the amusement of the vampires at the irony), to make speeches where Sirona was praised heavily, even from the Pope.
So the broadcasting went live without the news networks being fully aware of what they were broadcasting ahead of time.
The networks tried to hush it up, but the celebrities gave interviews which went live and made speeches in front of enormous crowds who shared what they heard with others.
People who took Sirona in real-life shared their stories on social media.
Teams of scientists were hired and bribed to say that Sirona was crap or at least might be crap.
They were all proven wrong by universities whose findings were broadcasted live.
People who were saved by Sirona, including highly-qualified doctors, paid by Risen of course wrote books on Sirona, and put papers into medical journals which went into circulation.
Risen even went to hospitals run by Churches to prove Sirona's effectiveness.
Politicians tried to block the mass production of Sirona.
But Risen just got people whose lives they saved with Sirona to share their stories in town-halls, which made the politicians scared of looking like monsters if they blocked Sirona. So they let Sirona go.
The pharmaceuticals had taken massive losses, which made the banks take massive losses.
Poor countries were given Sirona for free by Risen, as were supernatural hunters, orphanages, firefighters, schools, ambulance services and police services.
Sam had made it so that the Vampire Domovoi, who'd been the first one the testing for Sirona was done on, was the one given the noble prize won for Sirona. Domovoi was put on the board of directors for Risen.
Domovoi was a member of the vampire coven, Garsiof, which had a cup full of liquid that was dripping, surrounded by a triangle, as it's insignia.
The insignia became the logo of Sirona, which was also the name of the company that Risen owned which was responsible for organising the usage of Sirona.
Risen had also scanned the bodies of Vampires for their immortality, and from those scans had developed surgically inserted implants into specific sections of the human body that increased the aging time-length of human bodies, resulting in inability to die of ageing for at least 300 years, at most 400 years.
That is not to say that people on the implants were immune to death by cancer, heart failure, Alzheimer's, viruses and other such natural means.
They called this technique "Agiros", the Greek word for "Ageless".
The Nobel prize for Agiros went to the vampire Jafar, who'd been the vampire who had been the most researched on for Agiros.
The vampire Jafar was a member of the Jarzasi vampire coven. Their coven had an insignia of a hand with a small puddle of blood cupped in the hand, surrounded by a circle.
The Jarzasi insignia became the logo of Agiros, which was also the name of the company owned by Risen responsible for organising the usage of Agiros.
All the hunters Sam got into contact with got Agiros for free.
Politicians had been given Agiros for free in exchange for tariff lifting, medals and awards given to Risen, giving them press.
The ambulance drivers of the world were all given Agiros for free, as were the world's nurses, medical doctors, the world's firefighters and the world's orphanage workers.
For everyone else, Agiros was something paid-for on an annual-basis.
Everyone who hadn't gone through puberty (all the way to 21), or who had genes which made them not-comfortably compatible Agiros, was absolutely forbidden from getting Agiros.
Side-effects of Agiros, included: increased vulnerability to death by cocaine use, farting, increased hair-loss and nail-growth.
People with Alzheimer's, and people who were not fully vaccinated were denied Agiros.
Through Agiros alone, Sam and 3,000 vampires became billionaires, while the other vampires became millionaires.
Risen had also scanned the bodies of Vampires as they were exposed, without protection, to sunlight, for research into solar power. They'd made 90% efficient solar panels.
The named the solar panels "Ra", after the ancient Egyptian god of the sun.
The Nobel prize that was awarded to Risen for Ra, was given to the Vampire Cedric, who was the one who had voluntarily been burnt by sunlight for the research.
Cedric was a member of the vampire coven "Tresian", which had the insignia of a mountain with streams flowing down inside a triangle. That insignia became the logo of Ra, which was also the name of the company owned by Risen responsible for organising the usage of Ra.
Risen was also responsible for the creation of a brand-new solar-powered space-ship design. The space-ship went close to the sun, using materials designed from researching the reaction of vampire's skin to sunlight. Then when the sun provided enough energy to the rocket, either by a solar flare, or by just being around the sun for long enough to build up a charge at a safe-distance. The space-ship went up to 66.7% the speed of light, enabling the first space-ship to make it a light-year away from planet Earth.
The space-ship was called "The Babel."
The Nobel prize for the creation of the the Babel, went to the vampire Daphne, who was the vampire who voluntarily had her skin tested on for the research needed to create the Babel.
The babel was also used to kill evil ghosts and such spirits.
Sam had built long-range scanning devices that could find conclusive evidence of evil ghosts, tulpas and other such spirits from across whole countries.
Sam used Babel to put satellites around Earth, which sent focused, strong, radio-beams in the direction of the evil spirits. The radio beams sent data which was of records of the scanning of the evil spirits, and computerised instructions for them to be erased from the world of the living permanently.
The hunters on the ground destroyed the objects which were enabling them to be strong in the world of the living, to make their destructions permanent.
One of those evil spirits incidentally, was a thought-form, a sort-of-tulpa who had domination over the observable space and time in the USA, and who was posing as "Carver Edland" in the brain of a writer called Chuck Shirley, and was using the lives of the Winchester's as the basis for a franchise.
The Tulpa fed off the American Society's idea of a literally omnipotent, omniscient "God", thus it was a thought from formed from the thought of the Abrahamic "God".
This being was creating inter-dimensional entities.
Some were ghosts tied to objects.
Some were storm clouds with false memories of being former humans turned demons.
Some were entities with false memories of being angels who lived for millennia which needed the consent of people for bodies to harness the power of their souls.
Some of which were people possessing bodies which necessitated the souls of the dying to draw power from which were called reapers,
All of the entities were needing human bodies and human essences.
The entities were created using the collective Supernatural imaginations of the societies of America.
The franchise would have had the tulpa in a societal imagination medium that would've enabled it to gain dominion over the observable space and time in the whole world, when the franchise went world-wide.
Sam took particular pleasure in destroying him with quantum-entanglement-based beams from outside the USA and getting the hunters on the ground to cut him off from the observable space-time of the USA via putting a helmet on the head of the body of Chuck Shurly he was in and frying him out of his dominion via quantum computer-calculated electro-shock, considering him a pathetic,hack attention-whore.
As he went away, so too did the powers and weaknesses "reapers", "ghosts", "angels" and "demons", making the ghosts and reapers disappear and the angels and demons were left as nothing but humans in other people's bodies.
The tulpa had a connection with a being who had domination over the space-time in the unobservable universe. That being took the form of a vast dark cloud.
That being fed on the focus of everything that is not of God's creation.
It came for Sam.
But Sam took the body of Chuck Shurly and mimicked the signature of the tulpa that had been in it to establish a link between the body and the dark cloud.
Sam then killed the dark cloud the same way as the tulpa when the cloud became observable in Chuck Shurly's body.
Chuck Shurly, fortunately, survived the experience and swore off writing, becoming a bus driver instead.
The former "demons" and "angels" went with Sam and they literally threw a party when he told them what had happened.
Sam made for each of them artificially grown bodies to their chosen specifications, made them vampires and got them employed as hunters.
The authorities were told that the signals were malfunctions from satellites that were sent with the intent of broadcasting TV episodes, but they got distorted.
But Sam didn't stop there. He also went for Were-Wolves and arranged for them to live with their conditions in secret, in comfort, working for Risen. They led peaceful and happy lives on the condition that they remained imprisoned with some meat during their transformations.
Sam put scanners on their brains as they transformed and found that it wasn't the moon, but rather the gravitational waves from the moon and Earth's movements that caused the were-wolf transformation.
The scans allowed Sam and his vampire friends to study space-time in ways never done on record before.
Same used the research to design a nuclear-powered space-ship that could warp space-time to enable 640 times the speed of light travel, and time-travel. All of that he kept secret from humanity, thinking them not ready.
The research helped Risen to build a sustainable, safe, cheap, nuclear fusion reactor design. Risen became the world's largest supplier of electricity.
The fusion reactor was named "Golden Dragon."
The electricity from the fusion reactors and the solar panels, was used to provide free, safe and unlimited water and practically free electricity and heating.
The electricity from Risen, was used to recycle by electricity-powered means, plastics, which made Risen able to sell the recycled items back on the market.
334 vampires, and Sam, were made multi-billionaires, with the rest of them becoming multi-millionaires, through the recycling branch of Risen alone.
The fossil-fuel companies that wanted them kicked off the system and the politicians they were bribing, were blackmailed with recorded proof of the briberies to let them give their fusion electricity on the market.
They of course tried lying to stop them, But Risen disproved all their lies.
The Nobel prize for the fusion reactor was given to the vampire Kalia, the head of the research into the brain-scans.
For every person in Risen who got a Noble Prize, a 30-foot metal statue of them was built just outside one of their towers.
Sam also got ghouls, nachzehrers, Lamias, okami, Ragarus, Vetlas, changelings and kitsunes to be negotiated with:
He got cloned body-parts which he fed to them, along with implants which made them neurologically incapable of feeling hunger for flesh when they didn't need any more.
In exchange they worked as tunnel diggers for the literally underground projects of Risen, and other jobs, with payment in the form of stocks.
The ghouls, nachzehrers, Okami, Ragarus, Vetlas, lamias, changelings and Kitsunes were millionaires and billionaires.
Pistachos were happily employed by Risen for fat-removing surgery (with precautions taken to ensure health and safety).
Shapeshifters were found and employed by Risen to use their telepathy to solve crimes.
The shapeshifter were also scanned by Risen to observe their shape-shifting abilities. The recorded data from those scans was used to develop surgical techniques for changing human appearances which were safer, healthier and cheaper than other surgical techniques.
Risen developed the surgical technique and called is "allagi", the ancient Greek word for "change".
The vampire Inanna, who had done the developing from scanning of the shapeshifters, was the one given the Nobel prize for Allagi.
Inanna was a member of the vampire coven Hazalio, which had for it's insignia a bowl with swirling liquid, inside a triangle. That insignia became the logo of Allagi, which was also the name of the company owned by Risen responsible for organising the usage of Allagi.
Allagi alone made Sam and 400 vampires billionaires, the others millionaires.
Sam found a Marid, and fed it artificially produced blood in exchange for scanning it's reality-warping powers. Thanks to recorded data from the scans, Risen were able to develop chemical processing techniques which made construction of products 30 times cheaper, and the items produced were far more effective and efficient.
Thanks to the techniques from the Marid scans alone, Sam and 7,452 vampires became billionaires, while the others became millionaires.
He found the Amazons through his scanning devices, and persuaded them that they were better off using genetically engineered sperm to breed children better than they would otherwise, without the need for sexual mating.
He persuaded the Amazons to hunt monsters such as wolves, bears, lions, tigers, crocodiles, alligators, anacondas, Komodo dragons, rhinoceroses, sharks, panthers, pumas and leopards, in their natural habitats with only their super-strength. And eat their flesh. Then take their polished skulls as trophies.
Sam then persuaded them to climb the world's hardest to climb mountains via their super-strength, and get a miniature of the mountain made from the earth of the mountains.
Sam then persuaded them to wear full-body bullet-resistant armour that was too heavy for a human to wear and move easily in, then approach drug dealers after getting them all to come into a single room and goaded them with the revelation that they knew that they were drug dealers into shooting them.
After the drug dealers ran out of bullets, the Amazons then proceeded to break their legs, noses, crack a rib each and knock a few teeth out each. The drug dealers were then bound and gagged.
The Amazons then carved their symbols into the floors of the rooms they smashed the drug dealers.
The entire things were recorded and the recordings were sent to the police and the news networks, which complimented the Amazons.
The Amazons took the teeth as trophies.
The Amazons stole stashed cash from the drug dealers and used the cash to afford life and luxury.
Sam persuaded them to do those things via pointing out that no human would be able to do it, and that they were superior to humans if they could do it.
Their egos suitably fattened, and made hungry for more, and eating out of Sam's hand for ego boosting ideas, Sam started coaxing them into becoming hunters.
The Amazons then committed themselves to hunting monsters such as wendigos, which Sam claimed that the humans were not strong enough to be expected to successfully hunt, but that the Amazons were.
As a result of Sam's negotiations, the hunters agreed to officially declare Kitsunes, Ghouls, Amazons, Marids, nachzehrers, Okami, Rugarus, Pistachos, Vampires, Velta, changelings and were-wolves off limits for lethal hunting.
Although for the most part it was done reluctantly.
Risen was so rich they bought and paid for politicians in the western world to make changes:
They got 500 mayors to be elected, who were openly homosexual or bisexual, and female, to serve as propaganda tools to destroy homophobia and misogyny.
They globally legalised gay marriage.
They replaced confederate statues and memorials with things like signposts and traffic cameras/lights.
They globally abolished bullfighting.
They legalised weed the same way cigarettes and alcohol was legalised.
They pardoned weed-dealers.
They legalised sex-work (with health, safety and ethical terms and conditions).
They (slightly) raised the minimum wage.
They (slightly) lowered taxes for low income workers.
They imposed stricter animal well-fare laws.
They amended the Federal constitution to make it impossible for a president to pardon him/her self.
They amended the Federal constitution to make it impossible for a supreme court judges to overrule congress/the senate if they had 3/5 majority of the votes.
They amended the Federal constitution to make it impossible for a congress member or a senator to be voted into office without a 51/100 majority of the votes.
They amended the constitutions of states to make it impossible for a governor to be voted into office without a 51/100 majority of the votes.
They passed stronger gun laws (much to the annoyance of several hunters, but they put up with it).
They forced companies that were polluting the environment, to be responsible.
Sam donated to city charities, far more so than he would've otherwise paid in tax deductions, which gave him the keys to New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Washington. He'd told his brother Dean, his half-brother Adam Milligan, Adam's mum Kate and his father John Winchester, about winning the keys, much to their envy.
Sam's family of hunters, and his vampire covens had helped him come into contact with the witch covens which put him into contact with Rowena MacLeod, who had agreed to teach him witchcraft in exchange for protection from some who had beef with her.
Thanks to Sam's studies he knew how to locate Pagan Gods who fed on human sacrifices.
Sam used Babel to shine light which had originally come from the sun onto the locations of those Pagan Gods. The light beams were mixed with concentrated radio-signals that sent data from within Babel. The data was of photographs of items that referenced the gods aimed at, such as statues and tablets. The data also included computerised instructions for the items to burn to ashes when faced with strong enough light. The Pagan Gods thus were all destroyed.
Of course, Sam didn't let the public know that he was a hunter.
When contacting hunters, he went by the variant of the name "Sam" that was "Samael", not his birth name "Samuel." He'd named himself after the Hebrew angel whose name translated to "The venom/poison of God." It was close enough to his real name, for it to be easier to remember.
Sam wasn't the first or last human to give himself an angelic code-name.
Adam's boyfriend William Save (who had been so badly burnt by a fire-entity he had needed skin grafts, which Adam provided making them identical), went by the codename "Michael."
Jimmy Save, William's brother went by the codename "Castiel", a Hebrew name meaning "Shield of God."
Another of William's brothers called Greg went by the codename "Gabriel", a Hebrew name meaning "God is my strength."
Anna Save, William's sister, went by the codename "Annael", a Hebrew name meaning "Grace of God."
William's adopted brother, Simon, went by the codename "Uriel", a Hebrew name meaning "Flame of God."
Simon's biological brother Raphael, who was also adopted by the Save's, used the codename "Yahweh Rapha", which is a Hebrew name meaning "the lord who heals".
Simon's biological sister Sara, who was also adopted by the Save's, used the codename "Saraqael", a Hebrew name meaning "Beloved by God.".
Sam smirked to himself as he contemplated how happy they'd be to see him willing to finance their hunting operations.
"Are we expecting guests Sam?"
Sam turned to his personal bodyguard, Heringo Solstice.
Being a billionaire Sam of course had a security team.
He needed guards who has 3 vital qualities:
Being okay with the supernatural stuff.
Being good at their jobs.
And most vital of all: being trustworthy.
Heringo was a member of a European organisation of Hunters, with medical training and he was a voluntarily turned vampire, with Nimrod and Agiros.
"I'm expecting a phone call from my brother at any moment."
"At this time of night?"
It was ten PM.
"He's a hunter."
"Right.
Would he have any objections to myself and the others accompanying you on a hunting trip?"
"Privately? I'm sure.
But I doubt he'd voice them."
"Why would he object to help from others?"
"Because he's paranoid and eager to prove himself, but mostly because he is dumb."
"Or maybe he just wants his brother to tag along hero-worshipping him to boost his ego."
"His ego, and pleasures, are what stop him from peeing himself in the face of supernatural villains.
I might have to refer this to project 2."
"Have you told your brother about "project 2"?"
"Yup, he fell on his ass laughing about it.
Then he fell to the ground in surprise when I saved his life with it."
"Ha. Well that's normally the way with siblings, you get angry with them, sometimes for strong reason, but you love them nonetheless."
"Project 2 wasn't fully complete when I saved him with it.
Imagine his reaction when it is fully completed."
"He'll be floored I'm sure."
Sam and Heringo couldn't stop smiling.
"Mr Winchester?"
Sam turned to his PR and press secretary Jenny Bloom who'd just came in through the door.
Jenny was the child of immigrants from Mozambique, where Risen had built one of it's first Golden Dragon fusion reactors. She'd been bursting at the seams with loyalty for Risen helping Mozambique out.
"The pope has come to America, he has said on CNN that he wishes to see you soon to discuss the Agiros treatment."
"Is he aware I am agnostic? I don't take a word of any bible literally."
"Yes he has addressed it, he said "God is love, despite Sam Winchester's belief in God's inexplicability, there is much of God in him." "
"How noble.
Love created hell? Are the "unquenchable" fires of hell meant to be metaphysical for sex?" Sam's smooth and soft voice was accompanied by a small smile and eyes that twinkled with humour.
Jenny and Heringo laughed.
"When does he want to meet?"
"He called asking if it was possible for you and him to meet within the week."
"Well my only day off is Sunday and I think Catholics have a no-work on Sunday thing mentioned somewhere in their holy book, so...any chance of a chat in the afterlife?" Sam smiled widely as he spoke.
At that Jenny laughed and blushed, eyes wide and bright and looked away from Sam to the floor.
"No but, seriously we don't want the pope to portray us in an...unflattering light."
"What's the worst he can say "Suicide is a mortal sin, so don't commit suicide by not getting Agiros"? "Murder is a mortal sin, so get Sirona to stop people getting murdered"? Sounds like he's applying for being our advertisement narrator."
"Risen is practically a conglomerate of people who rule the world-"
"And you're welcome."
"And the pope takes those matters very seriously."
"Scared we will get more popular than the church is he?"
"I think all religions are going to be terrified of Risen if they aren't already.
We offer long-life which softens the desire to believe in an afterlife.
We provide utilities so cheaply, people have much more money for spending on pleasures, which softens the desire to believe in a higher-spiritual power to make the burdens of this plane of existence feel more bearable. Which reduces the popularity of religion.
We offer the capacity to literally reach the stars which makes this plane of existence seem more likely to be satisfying than an afterlife.
We provide practically infinite power, which decreases the desire for an omnipotent deity to be our saviour.
Thanks to our healing techniques, death by natural means is practically non-existent for many people, so people have less desire to believe in an omnipotent deity be their saviour.
Thanks to our recycling, commodities are in such abundance, this life is looking to be much more appealing than likely afterlives, so people are under less pressure to believe in an omnipotent saviour.
Thanks to our engine system for cars, more and more people are encouraged to driving automobiles which means that they have less time for going to religious ceremonies.
Thanks to the lack of large bills for electricity, water, heating, medicine and transport that we've created, people have more money to spend on pleasures and beauty . This has produced a society that is more and more materialistic, aesthetical, consumerist and individualistic. Therefore they have less and less motivation to believe in an omnipotent deity that stresses eternal spirituality over temporal self-interest.
So...yeah I reckon that every religious organisation is worried that we will replace them."
"Hmmm...so Christ says that the "poor of spirit" are "blessed", and here I am proving him right so what is he complaining about now?
Is he scared I look sexier than him naked on a cross? Sam's smile slowly got wider as he spoke.
Jenny was vibrating from the torso from stifling her laughter.
"Oh stop it!" She playfully flapped her right hand at Sam as she spoke "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
"Yes I am, thanks for noticing." Sam's voice got lower, faster and smoother as he spoke, his smile never wavering and he bounced his head and bent his neck.
"Release a statement telling the Pope, and please use these precise words "Flattered as I am by the good lord's interest in Risen, I am sure that there are others who are more in need of his holy guidance than myself."
"Oh yeah? Like who?"
"Does he want a list? I haven't got all night you know."
"Name 5."
"The president, he did ask for God's help when sworn into office after all.
Congress, a group of people who need guidance on robbing Peter to pay for Paul if ever there was any.
The senate, people who might need someone to accurately interpret the part of the Bible where it says "Better to give than to receive."
The supreme court, who are clearly in need of being pointed out that the bible says "he who humbles himself shall be exalted", not "he who humbles others shall be exalted".
The plastic removers who need to be reminded that the oceans are for God alone to fuck around with.
The newspapers, who need someone to remind them that "thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbour."
Sorry I named six, not five."
"The pope has already spoken to them."
"Well there's no point in him going to NASA, they already know that they're going to heaven.
The FBI already know thou shalt not commit murder.
Hollywood never stop taking names in vain.
New York couldn't disagree with "Silence is Golden" more, and they never rest wicked or not.
The people of Los Angeles already think they are in heaven.
No way the people of Las Vegas are going to be saved from temptation.
The people of Miami and San Diego, think they are still in paradise and think they are in no danger of being driven out of it.
The peoples of New Mexico are already in deserts, what of Jesus' time in a desert do they need to hear?
San Francisco is named after a saint, what do they need saint Peter in it for?
The mayors of Washington, Chicago and Detroit could do with some divine intervention though."
Jenny couldn't stop giggling for a few seconds.
"And the rest of America?"
"The rest of America has already got old men saying "God bless America." what difference is one more going to make?"
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Okay, but seriously... you don't think some people might see you refusing to meet the Pope as an insult?"
"Okay I'll see him. He lives in a building where sexy men are painted on the ceiling, so he'll be used to me."
"He might want to make you a godchild."
"I'm agnostic so I don't know what "godchild" means, but hey "we walk not by sight but by faith." So okay if it means so much to him, I'll give him my number, and it's not 666 by the way."
"Oh and... the press know nothing about you and Jessica."
"Good."
Riiiing Riiiing
Sam picked up his phone which he reserved for contact with hunters, who went by codenames, other than their hunter codenames, in his inside jacket pocket.
A few dummy phone numbers were in his mobile phone so that anyone who stole the phone wouldn't immediately think that there was anything special on it.
The phone required both his fingerprint, a physical key-card which he and a 12-digit typed-in code for it to work, so that the person who heard from it would know it was Sam talking. If the wrong code was used, or no code was used, or the key-card or fingerprint wasn't used, the receiver would be alerted it wasn't Sam.
When contact was established a photo of the person holding each phone was automatically sent to the other.
"Bitch."
"Jerk."
The passwords were exchanged, and they saw each others' photos. Sam and Dean knew for certain it was them who were speaking.
The phones they were used were modified to make male speakers sound female, and vice versa. They addressed each other by false female names. No-one eves-dropping would know it was them speaking.
When in the company of others they spoke in an entirely made-up language which had a grammar structure similar to English, but none of the words spoken were identical, or even partially similar in pronunciation to those used in English, or Latin, or any Chinese language. No-one who didn't speak it would understand what they were saying.
The phone line they were using was privately owned by one of Risen's shell companies called "Glass wave", the encryption for their phone calls were super-strong. The signals were made super-hard to trace via a privately owned onion-routing system.
The phones themselves were not directly connected to any actual phone network. The phones were really radios that received signals from other phones which were used for the conversation.
"Dad's missing. He's out on a hunting trip."
At that Sam sighed.
"The last time I spoke to him it was after he tried to murder dozens of cured vampires.
The time before that it was after he tried to murder dozens of safely contained were-wolves.
The time before that he tried to destroy my robot dog."
"Yeah.. well...I mean... it's not really... that's...oh come on man! They're... things. And we were raised to hunt them to the death!"
"Killing sentient beings when unnecessary is by definition murder."
"Dad taught us to believe it was friggin necessary!"
"And I am sure many Klu Klux Klan members were taught to believe that bullying black people is necessary by their fathers.
I am sure many people were taught by their parents to believe shit like Jews are the scum of the earth, homosexuals are the scum of the earth, atheists are the scum of the earth.
The Spartans were taught by their fathers to throw children born with disabilities off cliffs.
The Romans were taught by their fathers that it was acceptable to throw people to lions and get slaves to fight each-other to the death and salute their slavers before dying.
Many Spanish people were taught by their fathers that it was acceptable to treat bulls like piñatas.
Many Vikings and Mongols were taught by their fathers that it was acceptable to rape women from attacked villages.
So, all due respect big brother, but going "Dad taught us to be this way." is about as weak an excuse as "I was only obeying orders" was for the Nazis."
"He's our bloody Dad! He gave us life! He paid for your education! He taught us to be tough! He taught us to hunt monsters and save people! Show some damn gratitude!"
"The cured beings are not monsters any more Dean."
"Oh and that makes up for all the people they killed beforehand?"
" We don't know for certain that they killed people before -"
"They're monsters!"
"Not anymore, that's the point!
Vengeance won't bring them back and it won't make the world a better place Dean."
"The evil sons of bitches deserve to die."
"Would you think that if you were turned?"
"...I....I...I'd beg to die if I was turned."
"Not if I could save you, which I can.
The world deserves for them to make it better.
What? Are you not happy for the millions of people whose lives have been saved and improved?
Why must you be so angry?"
"Because...its-it's what keeps me going."
"What that? Not "the power of love"?
What are the evil ghosts not good enough for you?
You sick of hearing people humming the Ghostbusters theme tune when they're near you?
Oh and what about that time a guy in San Francisco who was drinking cranberry juice got sunburn and you thought he was a vampire and you shot him with a dart of dead man's blood, then lunged at him with a machete and he kicked you in the balls and then punched you unconscious and you were imprisoned for 38 days."
"You mean YOU left me imprisoned for 38 days!"
"I got you a lawyer, with forged money."
"She sucked. You wanted me in prison."
"She was a professional who stopped you from getting a damn electric chair."
"I should've gotten a better deal!"
"I was just teaching you a lesson."
"Oh what lesson Yoda? Not to jump at shadows? Well too damn bad if I don't jump at shadows they jump at me!"
"Tell that to 99.999% of the human race who never experience the direct effects of the supernatural."
"Lucky sons of bitches only get to thanks to us."
"A tiny, mortal, secret organisation of less than a thousand humans, with most of them under the age of 35, with 50% of them not able to speak more than two languages, without government support, scattered around the planet alone are to be credited with stopping 5 billion people, most of whom don't speak English, from an unknown amount of suffering from an unknown amount of stuff hidden in the dark with said 5 billion being in complete unawareness said stuff exists?
That's crazy."
"So what we should do nothing?"
"We should try to understand before lashing out."
"We know all we need to know."
"From what sources?
Folklore which people laugh at?
Books written by people decades and centuries ago, who had very small samples and far less advanced technology than we do nowadays?
Things change, things adapt."
"Why do carnivores eat meat? I don't understand it, but I accept it so I shoot them before they kill me."
"If we only thought that way we would never have domesticated cats and canines, and that dog you used to sniff out the corpses would be your dinner.
If we only thought that way we would never have gotten vaccinations.
If we only thought that way the Greeks would still throw children born with genetic defects off cliffs
If we only thought that way we wouldn't have dentists.
If we only thought that way we wouldn't have parole boards.
If we only thought that way we would have no religious freedom.
If we only thought that way we wouldn't have peace treaties.
If we only thought that way homosexuals would still be stoned to death.
If we only thought that way we would kill people just for being ill.
If we only thought that way would still have slavery and black people would still be treated like animals and lynched.
If we still thought that way we would still have the Salem witch trials."
"...I went into a damn asylum for 2 damn months after you left me in jail!"
"Well excuse me for thinking that you spending time around adults who are not obsessive might do you some good.
You got out when Bobby snuck instructions on how to fake getting better."
"2 damn months!! OF NO PIE!!"
"Oh boo-boo, the 2-year-old couldn't go 2 months without pie (!)"
"NO TV!!"
"You know most historians believe that for tens of thousands of years many humans did survive without endless suffering despite not having TV. I wonder why (!)."
"No sexy nurses."
"Grow up."
"NO PORN!!"
"Like 99.999% of the human race go for far longer without porn, but Dean Winchester can't handle that?"
"NO BURGER!! NO MUSIC!!"
"Excuse me for being under the impression that you are an adult."
"NO STRIPPERS!! NO DRINK!!"
"What are you? An alcoholic?"
"NO BABY!!"
"No guilty conscience.
Oh and there was that time in Minnesota you mistook someone in a Halloween get-up for a were-wolf and shot it."
"It was a full moon!
There were reports of people found dead in that town when the moon was full!"
"The first was an actual wild animal attack, the second was a murder committed by a man who thought that the victim had stolen his car.
There were reports of people in that town who disappeared when it was not a full moon."
"I didn't know that at the time."
"You knew about the first, and it would have been easy for you to learn that other people disappeared when there wasn't a full moon."
"I only shot it in leg!"
"You should have tasered him."
"The tasering wouldn't have done shit if it was a real were-wolf."
"It would have stunned him long enough for you to test if the person was a were-wolf or not by tugging on the get-up."
"I didn't have a taser!"
"You've got one of every legally ownable weapon in America, and a few others, but not a taser?"
"I've only got so many pockets."
"And only so many times you can avoid getting an electric chair."
"Well...I got a taser now!"
"Yeah after I pressured you into it."
"It's not like he died."
"He nearly did. He had a heart-attack."
"It wore off, and it forced me to take those courses in first aid like CPR."
"He nearly died of blood loss."
"There was help nearby."
"The wound got infected. He nearly got his leg cut-off."
"He's fine."
"He needed a cane until Risen came along. He got cancer a few weeks after you shot him."
"That wasn't because of me."
"It probably was."
"DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT DAMN MEDICAL BILL?!"
"Do you know what the word "capitalism" means?"
"I got a damn heart attack from the bill."
"Really? I thought that was the beer in you.
Oh and remember that time you got an STD from a girl in Kansas you thought was a witch and you tried to shoot her in the head?"
"The town had people reported missing and the girl had spooky ritualistic crap."
"She was a wiccan and a pagan, the people who disappeared were all drug addicts."
"She had her windows covered up with tables and chairs used as shutters, blinds and she was saying stuff in a language I couldn't make out.
And I should have killed her when I shot at a tiny opening I made from within her house before she came."
"She covered her windows for keeping out religiously intolerant nutjobs."
"The bullet should have killed the bitch."
"The windows were bullet resistant, double glazed and the curtains were drawn. The bullet only bruised her cheek. You should be grateful for that."
"The bitch gave me STD! I was in hospital for a month!"
"It was three weeks and you should have used a condom."
"I was 20 years old!"
"Took you that long to learn about STDs?
And there was that time when you tried to kill off an Albino."
"She had a ring that had a symbol of Hades on her finger and a necklace that had a skull on it."
"She was Greek and the skull was just her trying to be emo to make her albinism fashionable."
"The town she was in had people all the males who bought her apothecary products disappearing."
"Only seven disappeared.
One was cheating on his wife.
One was a kid who found out he was adopted and wanted to find his birth parents.
One was deathly ill and went to a hospital with his parents hiding it.
One was a drug addict.
One was a drunk.
One was running away from parental pressure to become a priest and wanted to become a biology teacher who loved genetic science.
One was killed in an illegal hunting trip who died of a heart attack and got eaten by a wild pig."
"Okay...but all of them bought her products."
"Loads of males brought her products, not all of them disappeared.
And many people disappeared who didn't buy her products."
"How the hell was I to know that they disappeared not because of her?"
"Other than via what I said in the last two sentences I said? Through open-mindedness, scrutiny and scepticism."
"I heard from two local guys that she was a monster."
"One was a paranoid, religious nut, the other his adopted daughter.
You were dumb enough to leave your damn fingerprints all over her house."
"Well... it's not like I got caught."
"Yeah thanks to Bobby hacking into the Feds and nationwide, and worldwide, police websites and changing your fingerprint details.
And there was that time you thought you were after a wendigo in Massachusetts, it turned out to be just someone hallucinating and a crazy serial killer who was collecting skulls for target practice.
He nearly killed you and would have if it hadn't been for that camper nearby who just passed by and shot the bastard who ran away."
Dean rubbed the scar on his neck.
"Yeah... well... that was okay."
"The bastard is still alive."
"It was a solid lead!"
"There were no previous accounts of any such attack in the past two decades of that place."
"That didn't prove anything."
"Wendigos can move so fast the guy who said he saw it shouldn't have lived to tell the tale."
"I...uh...well..."
"Then there was that time you believed some drug-addicted , attention-whore on the internet who crazily theorized that there was a vampire that was killing people in a town in Alabama where girls were disappearing, and you nearly killed a guy sleepwalking in the woods because of it."
"It was dark, cold and I was following a trail of a missing girl."
"She was eloping with her girlfriend away from prying eyes because...well...it was Alabama."
"How the hell was I to know?"
"How about via seeing that her footprints weren't drag marks?"
"Her parents were worried!"
"About an 18 year-old sneaking out? You know there is such a thing as 911?"
"It was worth a shot!"
"You should have fired a dead-man's blood dart."
"They're not as fast, or as penetrating as bullets, vampires got super speed you know."
"You shot him in the chest. It's a damn miracle he survived."
"He had a bullet-proof vest."
"How many times? There's no such thing as bullet proof only bullet resistance.
The bullets you were firing had P+ ammo and were full-metal jackets with silver for the metal of the tips, and were fired with a silencer which increased it's velocity.
And you shot him 3 times.
Most bullet resistant vests wouldn't be able to fully stop that.
Had it not been for the wind blowing you might have killed him.
He got cancer you know."
"Why was he wearing a bullet-proof vest?"
"He was a sleepwalker living in a town nearby wild animals and you're asking why he was wearing a bullet-resistant vest?
Just to clarify there is an actual brain inside your skull yeah?"
"Shut up!"
"And there was that time when you went after a supposed rawhead in Georgia, the state not the country, but it turned out to be just someone with a rare genetic disorder which made him look like a rawhead who was experimenting with cloning technology and he needed a heart transplant."
"3 Kids had disappeared!"
"One was found dead under a tree from falling down it when trying to climb it at night, but the wind blew leaves over him.
The other two were killed by rare diseases which the parents kept quiet about after they died."
"How was I to know?"
"Ummm...by checking with the authorities?"
"Better safe than sorry."
"You were sorry.
You went to jail for two weeks for almost killing an innocent man."
"I got out."
"I got you out by putting a virus into you which made you look like a lunatic, rather than a criminal."
"I spent a week in a nuthouse!"
"Well I am sure you didn't get lonely."
"Shut your cake-hole!"
"And there was that time when you chased after an arsonist in South Dakota who was suffering from a brain tumour that led her to burn down churches and wore sunglasses while doing the burning, who you thought was a demon. You tried an exorcism and you got accused of being a sexual predator by the police."
"The priest who saw the arsonist claimed she was possessed by a demon!"
"He was being metaphorical dumbass."
"It's not like I stripped her!"
"They found porn in your car, in your browser history, and you kidnapped and tied to a bed in an abandoned house a beautiful girl."
"I got off."
"Yeah after I came up with the brilliant idea to fake that you too had a brain tumour."
"I spent weeks in a medical hospital and a nuthouse!"
"You spent only three days, almost, in a medical hospital and only two weeks in a mental hospital.
Better than jail.
Oh and remember that time you went after what you thought was a Demon in Florida?"
"Oh come on man!
There was an old lady who said she saw a dark-cloud enter a guy's face and said she saw his eyes turn black in the next morning.
There was a priest who claimed that there was a demon terrorizing the town.
The newspapers said that a demon serial killer was terrorizing the town.
There were like 19 people who were murdered and their bodies had organs missing were put on display near/within symbols that're associated with demons, hell, the devil and pagan gods."
"The old lady was in her late nineties, had poor eyesight, there was a storm at the time she said she saw the guy getting possessed, and the guy was near his car which he'd cleaned so well it was reflective, it was a trick of the light.
In that morning the sun was shining very brightly, so he was wearing sunglasses and he was like thirty meters away from her. To her eyes it would've looked like he had demon-eyes.
The priest and the newspapers were being metaphysical.
Those murders were done by a newspaper guy who wanted to call dibs on covering the murders for the media, for the sake of his career."
Dean's face could have been mistaken for a beetroot.
"....How was I to know any of that shit?"
"There was a CCTV from the neighbourhood where the guy way which showed him wearing sunglasses.
The guy had a family who reported that there was nothing strange about him.
Anyone with a brain could tell the priest and newspapers were being metaphysical.
Who stood to gain the most from the killings? Obviously the newspapers.
The guy was always lurking around the crime scenes.
The guy was seen in a mask by a witness, wearing blue and white trainers and coming out of a house where a victim was later found.
The police matched traces of the killer's trainers on the door to the house, with a mark on the killer's left trainer."
"The guy I went after had white and blue trainers."
"He had an alibi."
"Some supernatural stuff can teleport Sammy."
"In front of a crowd of people seated?"
"The crowd was looking at a stage while he was seated amongst them."
"He was seated amongst them right next to his family members, and in front of several other who would've seen him gone."
"....crazier things have happened!
I said "Christo." he turned away from me."
"He was looking at the driveway to see if his kid and his wife had come back from school.
You shot him in the leg with a bullet with a devil's trap in it.
Then you tasered him, tied him up, put him in a larger devil's trap, then tried to perform an exorcism."
"It was worth a shot!"
"He almost died."
"I was trying to help people!"
"You should have bandaged the shot leg then.
The guy's dog came and literally bit you in the ass Dean."
"It's not like I killed the dog!"
"You shot it in the leg!"
"It could've given me TB!"
"And then you almost got arrested when you realised the exorcism wasn't working."
"Well...I got away."
"Not before you almost got killed by the cops shooting at you.
And then, you got it wrong again in Indiana."
"Hey! It was a solid lead Sammy!"
"Dean, you thought there was a demon, just because a 5-year old saw some thick-black smoke above a neighbour's house."
"It wasn't just that! There were 27 people being murdered in that town every year.
A priest said a demon was terrorizing the town.
So too did a shrink.
So too did a guy who said he was a damn hunter!"
"They were all being metaphorical, and the "damn hunter" was a non-supernatural hunter.
If you actually read the police report you'll know that all of the victims were drug addicts/drug dealers.
I found the killer who was a guy with a cane thanks to a drug addict driving causing the addict's car to smash into his left leg, by posing as a drug addict and setting a trap for him.
You meanwhile broke into the neighbours house and splashed holy water on him."
"He screamed!"
"You ambushed him in his own house, and there was chlorine in the water, you got it from a damn swimming pool which had a crucifix engraved in it's bottom.
Chlorine is harmful to a lot of people and he could smell it.
So of course he screamed!"
"Sammy...you can't be too careful with demons."
"You shot him in the leg with a bullet with a devil's trap!"
"He didn't die."
"You wasted hours trying to exercise him before the police came and you almost got arrested.
The police shot you in the back!
Dad and Bobby had to tie you down to the bed for surgery.
I had to break into the police station and falsify the DNA tests done on your blood that fell.
And one time you thought that there was an evil spirit in a school in Arizona. It was just some kid messing about in a costume for posting it online, the kids impressionable minds seeing things that were not there, and the deaths of the kids at the school were actually just accidents."
"It's not like I shot the kid."
"You dug up the dead teacher you thought was the ghost and you got arrested for grave robbery."
"I got off."
"You were fined big time.
Remember that time in New Mexico when you got ill from NOT GETTING VACCINATED and you sneezed while hunting an actual rawhead and you got your face sliced and you got deaf in one ear for two months and the rawhead shot you in the right foot with a gun?
Yeah well that happened AFTER I tried to get you to get vaccinated."
"Yeah well...I am a busy guy...I go all over this very big country keeping myself off the books."
" "The books", are what people with degrees are employed for."
"I learnt my lesson. I got vaccinated."
"I had to patch you up."
"Thanks but-"
"But before that, I tried to persuade you that it was a good idea for us to stockpile on anti-venom for snakebite-"
"Shut up!"
"Then, one time we were hunting a ghost it possessed a snake and bit you, you had to go to a hospital."
"It was just one time."
"Then you, one time we were hunting an actual shifter, you got shot in the right arm and on the right edge of your waist and shot across the belly.
And that was AFTER I tried to get you to wear a bullet-resistant vest."
"Okay and I got the damn vest!"
"Oh and remember that time when we got stopped at a border and they found cocaine on you?"
"I was going to deal it to a psychic in exchange for help in finding us a damn Siren!"
"And you didn't think to mix it with anything so that we could get it back by distillation it after we successfully smuggled it across the border?"
"You little princess! You told the cops you knew nothing about it and that it was all on me!"
"Well it was true."
"You ratted me out!"
"I got you out."
"You paid off the parole board."
"Of course I did Dean this is America: everything has its price tag.
It was tough to get you to not do anything suspicious when the FBI and DEA followed you for three weeks."
"Family doesn't have it's price tag."
"Dad is a lunatic.
Oh and there was that time when you thought that there was a zombie attack on a town in North Carolina."
"Come on man!
There were a lot of very sudden deaths, and some people ran away from people who they said looked like zombies, two of them said that they saw dead people that they knew coming after them, and many graves had been emptied."
"Those sudden deaths were all natural. Those people who ran away were encountering people who were ill and going out for walks and their imaginations ran away with them because they knew the the Graves were emptied, the people who saw the "zombies" were just grief hallucinating and the Graves were just robbed by scientists who wanted to study the bodies."
"So?"
"So you upon getting a dog to find the corpses found the scientists and shot them instead of dialling 911."
"They had bullet-proof vests. They shot me in the chest."
"And because they are good people they just shot your gun immediately afterwards then saved your life after they restrained you."
"They literally stabbed me through my hands to "restrain" me!
Then they operated on me with no damn anaesthetic."
"They didn't have any, you were dying."
"Then the sons of bitches called the cops on me."
"You tried to murder them."
"I thought they were zombie controllers."
"With none of the people who thought they saw zombies actually dying?
You are just lucky that they were wearing bullet resistant vests or you really would have murdered them."
"It's your fault you told me that the bullets would penetrate vests."
"I said they penetrate Kevlar, not everything."
"What the hell were they wearing bullet resistant vests for anyway?"
"They are grave robbers, and clever enough to have advanced scientific degrees, and you wonder what they need bullet resistant vests for? What planet are you living on?
You should be grateful that I managed to fake that you had brain damage from falling on a rock to get you into a mental hospital and not in prison.
By the way, remember that time in a field in Michigen when you thought there was a hell-hound?"
"Oh come on! Man!
It looked like a solid case!
5 people disappearing all in one field with 5 years in-between disappearances.
Dog footprints.
No witnesses saw anything.
Three witnesses heard a vicious dog growling."
"The first one died of a heart-attack, the press just wasn't told about it because the loved ones of that victim didn't want the press hounding them...understandably
The second one was killed by the grief-crazed wife of the first one who thought the second victim murdered the first victim.
The third one was a drug-dealer using the field to have a dug-in secret stash and base, with covering up his footprints, who ran from the cops and left behind a journal.
The fourth one was a teenager running away with her girlfriend who covered up her tracks.
The fifth was an astronomer who just left without telling anyone and got his tracks covered by the rain."
"How the hell was I to know that?"
"The police knew about the first three at least. You could've asked one of our friends to get into the police systems to find out about them."
And no they didn't "disappear" on the same date, or even the same month, just the same season.
The dog-prints were bound to be there; people do take their dogs out for walks.
The first witness was a crazy old man in his late nineties, the second was just a 4-year-old with a phobia and an over-active imagination, the third was a drunk who got barked at by a terrier just before he spoke to you."
"There was a local legend about a dog owned by a union general which was shot by confederates on that field and the general cursed the field so that anyone who dared crossed it would be eaten by his dog summoned from hell."
"Yeah, that was over a hundred years ago, and almost no-one has been reported actually killed in that field."
"It was worth a look?"
"Dude, you didn't "look" first when you shoved your foot into a bush which had a dog just behind it, thus kicking it.
The dog then literally bit your ass and clawed at your feet."
"Hey! That dog knows what it did!"
"You got TB."
"Don't remind me!"
"And Bobby and I force-fed you the meds."
And remember that time you broke into a factory to hunt for a kitsune, and you got your face on camera, and you got arrested by the FBI?"
"Yeah...well...risk is part of the job."
"Crap, you should've worn a mask, with shades."
"Well...I mean...look at my face!" Dean grinned like the idiot he really was as he spoke.
"Do you know why the number 100 is so vitally descriptive of you and me?
It's the percentage of the chess games at junior-high I played in which I won, and the number of times you need to go to an optician.
You're lucky I managed to get you "community service", instead of prison."
"Okay nerd.
I HAD TO PICK UP LITERAL TRASH FOR 4 DAMN MONTHS!"
"I got your tracker ankle sabotaged and a junior hunter to be disguised as you, so you only had to do it for 3 months."
"The food I got was crap!"
"Well let it be a lesson then."
"You're not my dad you know!"
"Oh and then you went off to New York and almost killed a vampire who was only drinking blood from a zoo, and from people in prison, and wasn't actually killing anyone. And was working in a hospital."
"There were people disappearing in New York at the time."
"When do people not disappear in New York?"
"He was freakishly pale."
"So are many people, don't be a racist."
"He wore sunglasses, carried an umbrella wherever he went outdoors and he always wore gloves."
"And he was innocent."
"We don't know that!"
"Innocent until proven guilty."
"Screw that crap!"
"That "crap", separates us from the thing that killed mom.
I'm a vampire, are you going to kill me?"
Dean felt a stabbing pain in his heart when he heard that.
"Dean, the only reason that vampire survived is that he was wearing a lab-coat and neck-covering that stopped the dead man's blood from knocking him out.
This time I had to put a bacteria in you that made you crazy and they had to treat it.
If the vampire hadn't treated it you'd be dead.
You owe the vampire your life Dean."
"The hospital was full of doctors that would have saved me, the vampire was just incidentally the closest."
"Still he did it."
"To cover his own ass."
"And he kept quiet about you having a machete."
Sam looked down at the floor and bit down to hide the truth that he had arranged for all that to happen.
Sam had persuaded the hospital to not allow guns.
Sam had gotten that vampire employed by the hospital.
Sam had warned him about Dean and when Dean tried to stab him in the face with a syringe full of dead-man's blood, following Sam's instructions the vampire leaned back directing Dean's swing to his well-covered neck.
Sam did it to persuade Dean that he was right to make peace with the vampires.
Sam showing recorded videos of his work with the vampires in getting them off blood helped.
But Dad hadn't been convinced.
"Dad watched his wife being telekinetically pinned to a ceiling and burnt alive by magic, but he couldn't believe that a few machines could save people from basically a genetic blood infection, something far less crazy than a warning-less magic pyromaniac attack."
"...Look I gotta find Dad okay?"
"No you can't, I found him first."
"What? Where? How?"
"Because I have magic powers (!) MWAH HA! HA! HA! I put a tracker on him."
"And you're just mentioning this now?"
"Did Dad not tell you? Did it slip his mind? I'm surprised he has a mind let alone one that's slippery."
"Where is he?"
"Lawrence, Kansas, the sight of our old house."
"What for?"
"Clicking his heels three times?
Suicide?
Got envious of the ghosts and wanted to try being one a go?
Wants to have sex with Casper the friendly ghost?
Misses mom?
Got homesick?
Try the local asylum, if the lord loves him he's being led there."
"When the hell did you get so cold?"
"It might have something to do with the gun dad pointed in my face when I disclosed to him my genius plan for planetary peace with many supernatural creatures and partnership for saving the human race from far more statistically evil calamities such as global warming, global poverty, global pollution, death by cancer, death by old age, death by not being durable enough, donating dozens of billions of American dollars to charities and many other solutions to appalling things humans go through which when looked at from the big picture make a handful of mostly economically and educationally insignificant people dying from a handful of hundreds at most supernatural beings, look...well...in comparison...insignificant.
That's what is really eating you and Dad inside isn't it?
"....Okay Einstein...So you're just going to ignore Dad now?"
"Yes I am going to ignore Dad now."
"Go to hell."
"Sounds like you are already there, how's the pie there?."
"Go screw yourself."
"You too, you sound like you have a few screws loose."
"Eat me."
"With that much filth in your mouth? Thank you, no."
"THIS IS OUR MOM!!"
"Whose been dead for over 20 years and whatever killed her hasn't been seen by us since then and no-one we know has seen it and the number of house fires in the US, and the world for that matter, has decreased.
There's only two rational explanations: either it is dead, or it doesn't want to burn anything anymore.
So what are you so damn upset about?
That your record is spotty?"
"...Okay so I haven't been 100% on the best, but come on man this is Dad."
"Dad hates me."
"So?"
"So he will take one look at me and shoot me."
"He wouldn't do that!"
"Oh really? You sure about that?
I know what they're saying behind my back Dean, the hunters.
That I'm the anti-Christ.
That I am building an empire of were-wolves, witches and vampires for world domination.
That I'm hypnotising their women, even mothers, into falling for me."
"Okay that last one's just them being envious of you being a tall, muscular handsome dude."
"That I am a rich bastard."
"Again with the "envy" thing Sam."
"That I am a spoilt brat."
"Well..."
"That I own a robotic hell-hound."
"Well it is kinda..."
"That I am literally stealing the souls of my customers.
That I am conspiring with monsters to destroy hunters."
"OKAY!! OKAY!!
Damn it man!
Look...you don't just change people who've been trained for decades to hate a species, with good reason, just overnight okay?"
"So the centuries of long-life, freedom from illness and practical invincibility, all at no cost to the innocent, not to mention freedom from poverty and global environmental catastrophe, means nothing to them?
Thanks to me vampires, were-wolves, pagans, tulpas, Kitsunes, Amazons, Marids, nachzehrers, Okami, Rugarus, Pistachos, Veltas and ghouls are off the hunters' radar.
Ghosts, including poltergeists, are now laughably easy to destroy thanks to me.
Wendigos, Djins and rawheads are being hunted down to extinction real fast.
Reapers are non-existent.
We are recruiting more and more hunters all over the world.
If there become no more monsters for you guys to hunt, what would you guys do with yourselves?
Seriously, you have lied to authorities for most of your lives.
You have no higher education.
You have a criminal record and a record of mental illness.
Your driving licence has been revoked thanks to your history of mental illness.
You have been hunting things for decades now.
What would you do?
Work as mechanics?
Work over the counter?
Not to mention you will never get professional help for your decades worth of trauma."
"...It's in our guts!"
"Dad is obsessed with monsters ."
"Hey! NO CHICK-FLICK moments!"
"What is this a laughably stupid TV show?
Grow up Dean."
"Okay! Okay!
Forget Dad!
There is a case in A journal Dad sent me: co-ordinates in Blackwater Ridge in California.
A possible monster sighting.
Your scanners pick-up anything?"
"Nothing EMF-alarming."
"Maybe a wendigo."
"I'd ask you where you are, but:
Judging by the sound of the car you're driving.
I can't hear many cars driving near you, so not a big road.
The sound of the road you're in telling me what type of road paving the one you're in has.
The fact that you're talking in English, not in our hunter-speak, and your haven't hung up or muted despite me discussing embarrassing details about you showing that you're alone, so probably no-where near where any of our hunter-friends are in.
The photo which shows you're somewhere with the same light-time as where I am.
Judging by the volume of your voice the phone you have is away from your head, so you're not holding it, so both your hands are on the wheel, so you are somewhere you are focusing a lot on the road because it's either somewhere you've never been, or somewhere you just don't remember.
I saw glow of white light from the windows of the car in the photo your phone sent, from streetlights.
Also judging by the sound of the Impala turning when you turn the wheel, you're somewhere with a lot of turns.
You have a phobia of flying, so no recent plane-trips.
Plus that you're asking for my help while driving, very quickly judging by the volume of the car, shows interest
You have the Impala which you love, and you're a great driver, so no buses.
And last I heard, which was yesterday, you were literally 100 miles away from me.
The reflection in your eyes in the photo you sent me, shows that the car has been recently travelling a few dozen miles via the odometer.
The reflection in your eyes shows that you've not got a song that's been paused, so you're driving somewhere you need to focus strongly on the roads for.
But most telling of all is the GPS you're using which showed a reflection in your eyes, which showed the structure of the road in your vicinity and it's close surroundings. And it says you are 18.5 miles from where you are going.
I'd say you are already on your way here.
Shall I order some pie for you?"
"Humph!
Yeah apple."
"Magic word?"
"Abracadabra!"
"Cute.
When should I expect you?"
"Within 20 minutes."
"Okay see you downstairs in the lobby."
Sam hung up.
Sam and Hearing exited his office and walked to elevator.
They exited at the lobby.
The floor was marble and the pillars were covered in paper rainbows.
2 guards were watching the lobby entrance and 1 was standing by the elevator doors.
"You need anything Sam?" Asked the receptionist, Seneca Opal.
Sam insisted on being called "Sam", despite being by far the wealthiest 22 year old on planet Earth.
"Any chance of an apple pie?"
"At this time of night?"
"Is that a "no"?"
"It's a "there'd better be a good reason for it"."
"It's my brother."
"The idiot?"
"He's not too bad when you point out to him that he's living in the real world and not a laughably implausible TV show."
"I would love it if your life was a laughably implausible TV show."
"I'm sure many would, but if my life were a laughably implausible TV show, I would probably hate the writers for doing what TV show writers usually do with sexy action men with missions that necessitate being busy and dangerous and secretive all the time: no happy family and a lot of crap hurled in my direction which I have to take seriously and a shit-tonne of grief."
"People love tear-jerkers and action heroes."
"Those people need to get lives.
Best way to "love" action heroes and tear-jerkers, is to live a real-life action hero's life with tear-jerker stuff.
Be a firefighter.
Be a pest-control person.
Be an ambulance driver.
Be a cop.
Be a coast-guard."
"That's boring.
You guys hunt literal monsters."
"Yeah and none of them are actually original.
Wendigo: already stories about them.
Changelings: already stories about them.
Demons: the bible, like the most read book in history, ever, is full of them.
Amazons: porn sites can't get enough of them.
Kitsunes: already stories about them.
Dragons: need I say more?
Sirens: come off it.
Reapers: duh.
Banshees: dull.
Zombies: I mean...
Lamia: literally thousands of years old stories.
Ghouls: already stories about them.
Were-wolves: internet can't get enough of them.
Vampires: novelists think they do everything for their bank-accounts except suck.
Ghosts: TV shows are full of them."
"Well...I bet they'd add in plenty of jokes to compensate for their lack of originality."
"Yeah I love TV Shows where the main focus is jokes.
Fawlty towers."
"The big bang theory."
"Bewitched."
"Ace Ventura movies."
"Blackadder."
"Only Fools and Horses."
"Dad's Army."
"West Wing."
"The Simpsons."
"House."
"Disney song movies."
"Asterix and Obelix."
"The Adams family."
"Scrubs."
"Sex and the city."
"Dr Who."
"Mr Bean."
"Jeeves and Wooster."
"James Bond."
"Paddington Bear."
"Spiderman."
"Superman."
"Howard the Duck."
"Star Trek."
"Star Trek?"
"Yes the "logic" is laughably bad."
"The chef's gone."
"I'll just warm one up then."
Dean came ten minutes later.
"Oh damn!
Thanks dude."
Dean stuffed his face full of the pie.
"Hi." Dean smiled nervously as he looked at Heringo.
Sam turned to Heringo and whispered at him "Would you mind giving us a moment?". Heringo nodded and went ten meters away.
"Dude... must you be so overdressed?"
Sam was wearing a dark-blue suit with matching tie and trousers, running shoes and gloves thick enough to not leave any glove-prints.
"I'm a business man. Gotta dress the part."
"22 years old and you already acting like you own the world."
"Ha. Well if I'm going to be my brother's keeper I better come packing."
"You know...in Dad's journal there's a lot of other stuff besides a monster in California."
"Do we need Project 2?"
"Ha! No."
"Just take a remote control mini zeppelin with you. You love Led Zeppelin so, you'll get used to it. I'll be controlling it from here while you do your thing."
"So what? I'm just the bait?"
"No Dean. The whole point of doing something by remote control is that you don't have to be in harm's way."
"So I'm just the delivery boy?"
"And the guy who does all the asking of questions, and the guy who does the clean-up, and the guy who, if you do find Dad, he'll be the most pleased to see."
"All right you little chicken."
"Dean.
California is like literally the other side of the country.
You wanna get there fast? You're gonna need a plane.
Lucky for you, I got one: top speed Mach 5."
Dean spat out the pie he was eating.
"You-you have a friggin private plane and you never told me?"
"Did I need to? What part of "I am a billionaire." is too much for you to understand?"
"...Mach 5? Like 5 times the speed of sound?"
"Yeah you'll be literally faster than a speeding bullet."
"...In the air?"
"That's generally where planes are when they're moving."
"Right. Right." Dean's face tensed and he started sweating as he stared off to the left avoiding eye-contact with Sam.
"Would it help if you were the one flying the plane?
Would the "Thunderbirds are go." music in the background help?"
At that Dean perked up.
"Yeah...sure I can do that."
Sam and Dean avoided discussing the fact that Dean didn't have a pilot's license.
"Are you sleeping here, or somewhere else?"
"You got an empty-room I can use?"
"Okay. 25th floor, room 12.
See you in the morning? 11 AM?"
"Okay."
As Dean made his way to the elevator, Sam took out another phone and dialled Jessica.
"Hey boss!"
Sam groaned at that.
Jessica was a girl he met at Stanford whom he managed to persuade to work with Risen as a nurse helping the supervising doctors use Sirona.
Jessica and Sam had a friendly, developing into romantic, relationship, which Sam insisted on keeping open.
Jessica knew nothing of the supernatural world, and was one of Sam's only human friends.
"What is it Jess?"
"Just wanted to let you know I'm getting dressed up for Halloween and wondered if you wanted to see me and the others?"
"You know my feelings on Halloween."
"Well, we can make your feelings change."
"Ha. Yeah well...I can't tomorrow, but maybe the day after."
"Okay, we'll see.
Bye."
"Bye."