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As much as a superhuman he may seem, Alhaitham is only human.
He has feelings, thoughts of his own; ones that sneakily make their way into his mind often, even though he’d locked them away, hidden completely. As a human, he felt dread, he felt pain and also immense fear. The kind of paranoia that creeps into your bones and renders you incapable of any movement.
Alhaitham was only human, he had nightmares. He never dreamt, really, but when he did, he’d have nasty nightmares– ones that would make him stir uncomfortably in his sleep, twisting and turning in his bedsheets as he felt his surroundings grow warmer, more suffocating. Ones that would make it harder to breathe, to think. His limbs wouldn’t move, he could only thrash and flail around helplessly like a toddler who couldn’t look after itself.
Alhaitham dreamt of something similar tonight. This never ending darkness surrounding him like mist, he could feel the fog blinding his eyes and getting into his lungs. Far away, he could see a faint light calling to him, beckoning him to come near. He tried to run towards it but the darkness pulled him backwards, downwards like quicksand. He could feel himself choking, almost on the brink of death when–
Alhaitham woke up, heaving his breath between small chokes. He felt lightheaded and dizzy as he frantically searched the surroundings of his room. Amidst his fatigue, he managed to weakly mutter one word:
“Kaveh.”
He got off his bed with unsteady legs, scrambling towards the door as he just managed to drag himself to his senior’s room. From the other side of the hallway, he could see a faint light from beneath the other’s door. Was he working at this hour? Alhaitham couldn’t spare any energy to think, and without thinking of any repercussions of his actions, he turned the doorknob.
Kaveh’s head snapped to the side and Alhaitham could swear he saw the other’s eyes soften up when he saw it was him. Alhaitham watched blearily as worry washed into Kaveh’s face as he got up from his chair suddenly and strode towards Alhaitham.
“You…” Alhaitham’s gaze fell on his lips as the other chewed it nervously. “..look quite peachy.”
Alhaitham grumbled, slipping his hands down to Kaveh’s waist slowly, much to Kaveh’s surprise, who had expected a sarcastic remark in return.
“Alhaitham? You sure you’re okay?” He asked nervously
Before either of them could say a word, Alhaitham wrapped his arms around Kaveh’s waist securely, as if he were afraid that the latter would run away. Kaveh, though, was in complete shock. His roommate never even bothered to strike up a normal conversation with him, let alone touch him like this. His mind felt dizzy as his hands moved on his own accord, softly embracing Alhaitham, as the other let out a sigh at the contact.
“Bad dream?” Kaveh asked, his voice almost a soft whisper next to Alhaitham’s ears.
Alhaitham only hugged Kaveh tighter in response.
Kaveh exhaled, it was getting pretty late now. He’d thought that he’d make some final touches to his newest project then hit the sack, but with a clingy roommate and his own sleepiness creeping up slowly, sleep seemed like the only option.
Kaveh slowly broke away from Alhaitham’s embrace, and the latter reluctantly let go. He cupped Alhaitham’s face tenderly, his thumb stroking the other’s cheek softly as he spoke.
“We need to get you to bed now. Shall I take you to your room?”
Alhaitham gazed down at him with a slight frown. He lifted his hand from Kaveh’s waist and gently placed it on top of Kaveh’s.
“Stay with me tonight.” A short pause. “Please?”
Kaveh’s breath hitched. Alhaitham’s request felt so true, so genuine , the way the soft glow of the moonlight from the window kissed his face, how he looked at him so warmly. Kaveh felt overwhelmed. Did Alhaitham really seek him, did he really trust him enough to show him such a side of his?
He opened his mouth to speak, only to find his throat completely dry. He stroked Alhaitham’s face again, nodding gingerly.
Alhaitham lay them both together on the bed with a sigh, as he scooted closer to Kaveh’s side. Kaveh held his arms open, inviting Alhaitham to settle in between them.
Alhaitham threw an arm around Kaveh’s waist, pulling him closer and closer. Kaveh felt his heart ache somewhere in between, but his mind was blank. He felt as if he had no control over his body, his hands, as they carded their way through Alhaitham’s soft hair.
Alhaitham was, without a doubt, vulnerable right now. In need of whatever comfort, Kaveh secretly wondered whether Alhaitham mistook him for someone else. That feeling of heartache returned when Alhaitham slotted his head in between the junction of his neck and shoulders.
“Just for tonight. Please.” He mumbled.
Kaveh silently accepted it. His eyes were brimming with tears, threatening to come out as a sob. He closed his eyes, only to realize he was crying when Alhaitham looked up at his face with tired, sleepy eyes.
“Hey,” He got up, “Don’t cry.” He whispered softly.
Kaveh sobbed once again, his arms tightening around Alhaitham.
“Look at me.” Alhaitham said, and Kaveh slowly opened his eyes to look at the other, lashes clung together by tears. Alhaitham leaned forward to wipe his tears away with his thumb. “Everything’s alright. I’m here.”
“You’re here.” Kaveh repeated, choking on a sob.
Alhaitham hugged him tightly, wiping away the tear streaks on his face with the other hand. “I’m here.” He reassured him.
Kaveh let out a shuddering sigh. All of this, it was too much. He couldn’t deal with this anymore. He didn’t think he could keep it in anymore. Alhaitham would probably forget all about this in the morning, going back to treating him the same old way as he usually does. But Kaveh would neither forgive nor forget. His heart felt as if it was about to burst, he felt as if he was about to burst—
“I love you.” Alhaitham said.
“….what?” Kaveh asked, levelling himself to the others face.
“I said,” Alhaitham inhaled “That I love you.” And let it out as an exhale.
“You don’t mean that.” Kaveh said, baffled. Surely he didn't mean that.
“Who says I don’t?” Alhaitham inched closer, slowly. They were so close now. So close yet so, so far away.
Before Kaveh could open his mouth to speak, Alhaitham shut him up, his lips on the others. It was soft, more pleasant than Kaveh had imagined— not that he had ever imagined kissing Alhaitham— and sweet. Incredibly sweet.
Kaveh was the first to lean back, and also the first to go in again. This time it felt much more passionate, as if both men were taking out years and years of pent up frustration into that kiss.
Kaveh felt giddy. He could practically feel both their hearts beating rapidly, given how close they were. Alhaitham felt incredibly warm, the kind of warmth that Kaveh wanted to chase and stay in forever.
Alhaitham may be human, he may feel dread and fear but he was no longer afraid of anything in his path. These nightmares seemed like small problems that would just come and go. He felt…complete.
The two fell asleep together soon, and Alhaitham dreamt once again. Dreamt of breaking free from the shackles of darkness that were holding him back and running towards the light, his destiny. A whole new life awaited him now. A new life with his love.
As long as Alhaitham had Kaveh, he felt everything would be alright. They would be alright.