Work Text:
One day, Thor was having an emergency… or so he thought. Valkyrie had been sleeping for three days straight. So, he picked her up and carried her over to Dr. Strange's house.
After frantically knocking on the door, Thor was greeted by a terrifying surprise.
Dr. Strange was wearing glasses for some reason!
"Is this an emergency?" he asked.
"Yes.”
"Is it an emergency that can be solved by using magic?" Dr. Strange asked.
"Yeah… I think so… uh… maybe?"
Good, he hasn't noticed my glasses yet, Dr. Strange thought to himself, and then sighed. "Come on in…"
Thor dragged Valkyrie in with him and plopped her onto the floor.
"Oh," Dr. Strange said. "Relationship problems?"
"No; we're just friends.”
"Then what is the problem?" Dr. Strange asked.
"I can't get her to wake up!'"
"Well, let her sleep!" Dr. Strange said. "She needs her beauty sleep.”
"I've been letting her sleep- for three days now!"
"Oh.”
"I think she's sick.”
"So what?" Dr. Strange asked. "People just randomly get sick sometimes."
"Well, you're a doctor," Thor said. "Can't you do something about it?"
"I'm a doctor of magic," Dr. Strange said. "I don't do medical stuff anymore."
"Well, can't you use magic to cure her?" Thor asked.
"That's not how magic works!"
"Well, you need to do something!" Thor said. "The Midgardian doctors would just try to dissect her!"
Hmmm… she is beautiful. I suppose I could at least try to help, Dr. Strange thought.
"Okay," he said. "Just leave her with me for a while. I will keep her safe."
"Thank you very much!” Thor said. “Your kindness will not be forgotten!"
"Is there any reason that you couldn't watch her, though?” Dr. Strange asked.
"I have to help the Avengers with something very important," Thor lied. He turned to leave, but suddenly remembered something and turned back around.
"One more thing!" he said.
"Yeah? What is it?" Dr. Strange asked, sweating nervously.
"Nice glasses!" Thor said.
Dr. Strange swore loudly and used magic to push Thor out of the building, slamming the door behind him.
Ten minutes later, Thor was at a fancy restaurant with the Avengers.
"Thanks for letting me have lunch with you!"
"No problem, Thor!" said Captain America. "We like having you around!"
"I don't," Bruce Banner mumbled to himself.
Meanwhile, Valkyrie was starting to wake up.
"Where am I?" she mumbled.
"You're at my house," Dr. Strange lied.
He didn't have a house.
"Who are you?" Valkyrie asked.
"Strange," Dr. Strange said. "Doctor Strange."
"A doctor? Why?" Valkyrie panicked. "I'm not sick!"
"I'm a doctor of magic.”
"Oh, okay," Valkyrie said. "Why am I here?"
"Thor dropped you off here," Dr. Strange said. "He said that he didn't want you around anymore."
"No! WHY?!" Valkyrie cried. "I loved him so much! Now I have no boyfriend!"
"I'll be your boyfriend," Dr. Strange said, calmly.
"Yay!" Valkyrie said. "Please take me out to eat."
"Okay," Dr. Strange said. "Let's get in my car and go to The Restaurant."
"Umm… where is your car?" Valkyrie asked, looking around.
"Oh, that's right. I don't have one anymore," Dr. Strange said. "Let's use magic to get there instead!"
When Dr. Strange and Valkyrie walked into The Restaurant, they were seated at the table right next to the Avengers!
"Oh, no! That big meanie Thor is here!" Valkyrie said.
"What in the heck, Thor?" Dr. Strange snarled. "I thought you had something more important to do than this!"
Thor angrily stood up. "Eating is very important!"
"WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME, THOR?!" Valkyrie wailed.
"I was going to come back for you!" Thor said.
"That's not what the strange doctor told me!" Valkyrie said.
"Really, Dr. Strange? You lied to her?" Thor asked.
"Well…uh… I…"
"Ah, whatever," Thor said. "Just keep her."
"I'm not just some object to be passed around!" Valkyrie said. "I am a living person who deserves respect!"
"Shh… shh…" Dr. Strange shoved a breadstick into her mouth.
"Hey, Thor!" Tony Stark said. "Quit arguing with strangers, and continue eating with us!"
"Oh, okay," said Thor.
The next day, Dr. Strange paid a visit to the Avengers Tower. He was still wearing glasses, for some reason.
"Go, go, Captain America!" Cap said. "Who are you? What is your name?"
"Stop being so silly, Cap!" Tony said. "Hello, Dr. Strange. What brings you here today?"
"You are all in imminent danger, with little time to prepare!" Dr. Strange said. "Any minute now, we will be attacked by…"
He suddenly fell unconscious, leaving the sentence incomplete.
"Ah, great!" Tony said. "Now, we'll never hear the rest of his message!"
"Oh, no!" Cap said. "How did this happen?"
Thor walked by, twirling a random hammer that wasn't even Mjölnir.
"YOU!" Cap raged. "You must have done it! But why?"
"I didn't like his glasses," Thor said.
"Ah, okay," said Cap. "That makes sense."
