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“I’m really not ready for this.”
Jack placed the clippers next to Harley on the vanity. The clunk felt way louder than she expected. Ivy gave Harley’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and went back to brushing out her long bleach-blonde hair.
“I’ll start at four,” Jack promised, fitting an orange clipper guard in place. “And if you want more off, we’ll go down from there.”
“And if I want less off?” Harley asked.
“I’ll glue the hair back on,” Jack answered with a wry grin, the corners of his mouth mismatching with the pale smile cut into his cheeks.
Harley liked Jack’s smile a lot better than J’s, it suited his pale-freckled face better. No red outlined his lips and scars, and no heavy shadow hung around his eyes, smeared and smudged. He looked welcoming; he sounded welcoming, even if he could be a little rude. The thought of J made Harley shake her head, not caring if it tugged and yanked in Ivy’s grasp.
“Harley!” Ivy scolded quietly, a gentle hand readjusting. “I’m almost done. Promise.”
“Sorry Red,” Harley gave a weak smile, but Jack’s had fled.
“Maybe I should step out,” he suggested softly, beginning to move from the vanity.
“No!” Harley grabbed Jack’s wrist before he could move away. “I need you here,” she continued, “both of you.”
Jack hesitated, then settled against the vanity, tapping it with one index finger. Harley bit her lip and let Ivy continue brushing. He knew. Of course, he knew. He smiled and then she had to get all nervous and tense. She couldn’t help it. They were like twins, he and J; they basically were twins as far as genetics–and the courts–were concerned. Harley took Jack’s hand and ran a thumb over the back of his hand, then ran it over the ring on his ring finger. The silver band curved like hands around an aquamarine heart, set with a diamond-studded crown, the point of the heart situated towards his fingertips.
“Your ring’s upside down,” Harley said, pulling his hand towards her. Jack jolted from the sudden tug, but allowed it.
“That’s a claddagh ring, Harl,” Ivy interrupted. “When the heart points out on the right hand it means he’s single.”
“Oh,” Harley ran her thumb over the heart again. “I still think it’s upside down.”
Jack smiled half-heartedly.
“Alright,” Ivy sighed, picking up a spray bottle and wetting Harley’s hair, “Ready?”
“Can I say no?”
“Harl, this was your idea.”
“Yeah and now I’m looking in the mirror and thinking ‘that’s a lot of hair’ and I’m not so sure anymore.”
“Think of it like a clean break,” Ivy suggested, giving both of Harley’s shoulders a reassuring squeeze, “a fresh start, and we’re all here for it.”
Harley glanced down at Jack’s hand, where she had started twisting his ring about his finger, then back up at the mirror, and her long, long hair. Her eyes drifted up to Ivy, to her long red-brown hair, braided back and woven with vines. It had gotten darker in the past few weeks, but Harley kind of liked it with more brown, the red-brown suited the green tint of her skin, made her look like fairy or something.
Harley shifted her eyes over to Jack, who watched her fidget with her ring. He blew a puff of air up at one stray red curl,but it only bounced right back in place, stubborn as the man himself. She remembered bringing him, sopping wet from an involuntary swim in Gotham Bay, to Ivy, being surprised by those tight ginger ringlets when his hair dried, how she and Harley had helped him cut away any sign of J’s hairstyle.
Now it was her turn. J had to go, he just had to, and if that meant one big change to usher in the rest, she’d do it.
Harley took a deep breath and clutched Jack’s hand to her chest.
“I’m ready,” she said after a moment, and Ivy snipped the first chunk out of Harley’s hair, letting the scrap fall to the floor. All that anxiety came out in a gasp for air, and Harley tightened her grip on Jack’s hand, grinning.
“I’m gonna need my hand back to use the clippers,” Jack reminded her.
“And then it’ll be Red’s turn,” Harley reasoned. “Not to worry Jacksie, I’ve planned this out.”
Jack snorted and looked back in the mirror a scrap after scrap of long blonde hair fell away. He returned her grip on his hand, lacing their fingers together.
“That’s real courage right there, you know that?” he said, nodding to the mirror. “You’re a brave lass.”
“I don’t feel brave,” she admitted.
“We don’t always feel brave in the moment,” Jack shrugged. “The funny thing about courage is that you’re not supposed to feel it.”
“Feeling it’s more like being an idiot,” Ivy agreed. “Something Jack has a lot of experience with.”
“Oi!” Jack gave Ivy a look, and Harley saw her smile in the mirror.
“Said with love,” she amended.
Jack made a shushing noise and waved his free hand dismissively. “I’ll believe it when you’re not being a cunt.”
“Jack, you are consistently a cunt.”
Harley listened to them bicker on as scraps of hair fell to the floor. She smiled, for their voices held no anger, and she honestly, truly, felt at home.
Ivy was right. This was a fresh start, a clean break. She had to go through with it, and they would be there with her.