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It was the third shot. Third shot against the goal. The third failure. The same way Isagi had blocked their last goal against Bastard München. Rin easily picked up the ball and ran the opposite way toward Manshine City’s half of the field. Nagi turned around to run after him. This is a pain… It felt so long since he had thought that. It wasn’t a feeling he enjoyed and it wasn’t Reo’s fault. It never had been. Reo had stolen back the ball multiple times and passed to him, he hadn’t lost the ball yet except the three times he had shot at the goal.
Reo managed to block Rin’s shot, only for Shidou to pick it up and shoot it into the goal. The audience cheered loudly. These are the geniuses… Nagi sat down on the grass as the others celebrated the goal making the score 2-0. Prince would be disappointed in him. That was obvious. Despite all the feats in their last match, they had lost. Ego was probably right… Ego had warned him about delusions a long time ago and about goals that couldn’t be replicated. Nagi was now sure about it. Expectations are tough…
Nagi looked at Reo as he ran up to him. His face showed a mixture of emotions that Nagi couldn’t put a finger on as he crouched before him and shook his shoulder.
“Is something wrong Nagi?” Reo said sounding worried. “Is it my passes?”
Nagi looked down in the grass.
“No… your passes were perfect.” Nagi said and dug his fingers into the ground. “I just don’t have the motivation Reo.”
Reo’s grip around his shoulders became harder.
“Stand up Nagi.” Reo said before letting go and standing up. “The match isn’t over yet.”
Reo reached out a hand. Nagi looked at it. With or without Reo’s help, he couldn’t see a way for himself to score. Reo wanted him to become the best, but it seemed impossible now. Rin and Shidou were people who could score of their own ability. It was a pain watching them. It wasn’t fun loosing. If he could just win this match… Nagi finally stood up taking Reo’s hand and they moved to their positions. Their teammates looked at him. Nagi could already feel their disappointment of his inability to score. Chigiri said something to Reo that made him frown before moving to his position. In the corner of his eye he saw Agi’s disappointed face as he told him something incomprehensible. It’s a pain in the ass… and it’s my fault for not being motivated.
The match started again. Nagi had only one thing on his mind. He didn’t want to lose 0-3 this match. Just one goal. One goal. The ball was passed around. An attempt at scoring. The ball getting caught. Reo retrieving it and then up again. It was exhausting. Get in a good position. Score! Rin showed up in the spot he wanted to score from.
“I thought you were beginning to get better.” Rin said pushing him back with his hand. “But you are still as lukewarm as before.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Nagi said.
Nagi was angry, at himself, for his incapability of turning a “0 into a 1”, for his lukewarm egoism and his tiredness. Reo showed himself prepared to give him a pass. Trapping the ball wasn’t an issue. He would just pass it back, move and then Reo would pass it back and he would shoot against the goal. But he would get blocked. It was too obvious. Rin knew that Reo wanted to pass him and make him score. It won’t work. You’re right Rin. I thought I had changed… Reo passed and Nagi quickly trapped the ball. And I have changed. I am better than before, but I still haven’t found my ego. Nagi fixated his eyes on Reo. You know right? I am pushing this idea to you now. Reo stared back at him, eyes telling him no. Don’t pass it back again. Nagi passed and instead of moving to a position where he could score, blocked Rin’s path so he couldn’t stop the goal that was coming. Reo shot the ball into the goal with gritted teeth. Rin seemed shocked over this development but scoffed as the whistle sounded. The crowd cheered once again, without knowledge of what that meant for Nagi. Nagi wasn’t the one that had made the goal.
When Reo walked up to him this time, the expression he was wearing was one of anger.
“Oi Nagi.” Reo said and grabbed his shirt.
Nagi clenched his fists and tried matching Reo’s expression. Their faces was close and Reo’s breath sounded heavy. Nagi guessed it must have been because of all the running.
“Why the hell did you pass?” Reo asked. “I gave up on becoming a striker to make you the best in the world…”
“I can’t see myself scoring against Rin.” Nagi interrupted.
“What… what do you mean?” Reo looked at him in shock, his grip of his shirt loosening.
Nagi backed away and looked down in the grass. Reo let go of his shirt. Nagi pushed down the sinking feeling inside. I cannot fulfill your dream like this Reo.
“My shots got blocked four times.” Nagi explained, Reo didn’t interrupt him. “The only way to score was to assist you. Ego was right… I don’t have what it takes to become the best Reo.”
Nagi felt something sting in his eyes. The thought of not being able to fulfill Reo’s dream stabbed him.
“So you’re giving up?” Reo asked his voice slightly shaking.
Nagi looked at Reo who had crossed his arms.
“I’m not…” Nagi said and covered his face with his hand. “I don’t want to. I can’t…”
Before Reo managed to say anything a voice was heard in the speakers.
“CHRIS PRINCE SUBS IN!” it said.
Nagi looked up through his hand as Prince walked up to him.
“Hey Seishiro. I think you have some things you really need to think about.” he said and put a hand on his shoulder. “I am subbing you out for now.”
Nagi looked at him in shock. I am subbed out? Nagi automatically turned to Reo who looked as shocked as he.
“What?” Reo asked. “You’re subbing him out?”
Prince nodded and put his hands at his sides.
“It won’t be forever, his talent is too great. If he can prove himself until the next match he can play again.”
“What the…” Reo said and turned to Nagi. “Say something, Nagi.”
What am I even supposed to say?
“I guess you’re right.” Nagi said to Prince.
Prince looked at him with a pity while Reo furrowed his eyebrows.
“Your decision was right Nagi, when you want to win. You couldn’t beat Rin so you assisted to score the team a goal.” Prince said. “However, I think you know already, that you haven’t found what drives you yet. I know you dislike thinking about things, but sit down for the rest of this match… and think. What drives you? What makes you want to be the best? Don’t let Reo do the thinking for you. You need to have your own dream, your own ego. If you can’t do that… You will be dragging Reo down too.”
Nagi understood. He couldn’t live up to the expectations. Reo was getting ahead of him. Nagi slowly walked back to the bench as the speaker announced the substitution. He could feel the gazes of his teammates and from the other team in his back as he sat down on the bench.
Chris scored his goal with the help of Reo and the other players, but in the end PxG won when Chris subbed out again. Nagi didn’t even need to look at his scores to know that his value had sunk. He only looked at Reo. Reo’s expression was difficult to make out as he looked at the score of 75 000 000 ¥. You’re always amazing Reo… I am the one who will need to catch up to you this time. Nagi felt his eyes sting again. I will never give up on our promise.