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After spending the day in Shibuya, most of Nagi’s new friends had left already. Bachira and Chigiri had decided to stay for a bit even though most had left a while ago. Nagi watched as Bachira hugged the last of them goodbye where they stood at the train-station. Reo had called someone a while ago, probably Ba-ya, to pick him up, and were also saying goodbye to the ones leaving together with Chigiri and Bachira.
Nagi hadn’t been sure whether if he could ask for a ride back to his apartment. Reo had been cheerful during the day and it was honestly very nice to see him like that again, but Nagi was afraid he would ruin his mood so he hadn’t asked in the end. Nagi was aware that the things he had said in the past might had been harsh, but he had hoped Reo would understand it was for his sake. However that didn’t seem to be the case which made Nagi somewhat frustrated. Reo looked at his phone again, receiving a notice.
“Ah, Bachira, Chigiri.” Reo said and showed them his phone. “It seems like my ride will pick me up further away.”
“Oki!” Bachira said with a nod. “See ya some other day Reo!”
Nagi looked on as they hugged goodbye, wishing he would have been hugged goodbye too. It felt weird not being Reo’s priority anymore. I don’t want to say goodbye yet… When Reo turned to leave, Nagi walked up to him. Reo looked at him confused with a raised eyebrow.
“Did you want anything Nagi?” Reo asked.
Nagi contemplated whether he still had the chance to ask if he could go with him, but decided it wouldn’t be good. Nagi felt his heart beating faster.
“No…” Nagi said. “I will go with you to your pick-up.”
“Uh.” Reo said and scratched the back of his head. “Sure I guess…”
Nagi took the answer as a good sign, that maybe they could go back to how they were…
The sun was already setting when they walked out of the station. Reo turned left and Nagi silently walked beside him at the empty sidewalk. Reo’s purple hair had a red nuance to it as it flowed slightly in the mild wind. Nagi could finally understand why all those girls at their school had flocked around him, while Nagi had had the privilege of being around him all the time. You always miss something when you don’t have it. Maybe he hadn’t used that time enough. Now that Reo was walking beside him, even the 50 cm distance felt too much. Nagi wanted to lean his head on Reo, ask for a piggy-back ride, maybe even grab his face and kiss him… Nagi shook that thought out of his head. Reo might have accepted the first two in the past, but now it was practically impossible. In the distance Nagi could see Reo’s car and he felt his heart sink. Would they just leave like this? Reo had also noticed the car and stopped to turn to Nagi. Nagi stopped too and looked Reo in the eyes. His gaze made Nagi’s heart beat like it did when he played football.
“I think I can walk the last few metres alone then Nagi.” Reo said and put one of his hands in his pockets. “See you I guess.”
Nagi didn’t want Reo to leave yet but he didn’t really know what to say. Reo turned around when Nagi didn’t answer but before Reo could walk away, Nagi grabbed his free hand. Reo turned his head and looked at Nagi with a surprised expression. Nagi wanted to look into those eyes for a little longer.
“What is it?” Reo asked, the surprise in his face returning to a neutral expression.
Don’t go. Nagi wanted to say, but he only opened his mouth to close it again. Reo sighed and wriggled his hand out of Nagi’s, eyes turning away from Nagi.
“If there wasn’t anything you wanted I’m gonna leave.” Reo said.
Nagi panicked. He didn’t want Reo to leave yet. When Reo turned around once again Nagi hastily broke into Reo’s personal space and grabbed his face with both his hands.
“What—“ Reo begun but couldn’t continue his sentence.
Nagi kissed him. Nagi felt Reo’s lips against his and he closed his eyes. It couldn’t have been a good kiss at all, and he quickly broke it up, removing his hands from Reo’s face despite still wanting to hold him. Ah… Reo was staring at him with a mix of confusion, anger, surprise and seemingly many more emotions. Nagi didn’t know where to look. I just did that…
“Why would you do that?” Reo asked and wiped his mouth.
“Uh…” Nagi said.
He didn’t really know how to answer that question. That he wanted Reo to look at him? That he wanted for them to go back to how they were, at least outside the field? That he maybe liked him more than as a friend? Explaining was always such a pain…
“…Sorry.” Nagi said and looked down at the pavement.
“Don’t do that Nagi.” Reo said, his voice almost angry. “Don’t just kiss people out of nowhere!”
Nagi didn’t answer. You are not ‘people’ Reo.
“If this was a ‘spur of the moment’ thing. I can forget about it.” Reo said with a frustrated sigh.
It wasn’t really… Nagi looked up at Reo who had backed away from him and was looking around. Making sure that no one had noticed them. The sidewalk was still relatively empty so there was no one close enough to have seen them. Reo turned away from him and Nagi felt his heart sink once again.
“I won’t mention this again, and you won’t either.” Reo said walking away to the awaiting car. “Goodbye Nagi.”
“See you later, Reo…” Nagi said quietly.
Nagi was silent again, despite his heart pounding like he had been running four laps around a football field. Nagi put his fingers to his lips, still remembering their kiss. Okay then… I won’t say anything… Looking at Reo as he got into the car and watching as it backed out of the parking lot. Reo probably wouldn’t understand if he didn’t explain with words. It would be a pain but Reo’s reaction made him sure of that. He wanted Reo, and he would make him understand that someday.