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“Well, I’m not a lawyer or a cop as you know. Forgive me if I’m not as technical as you are.”
Jackson snorts. “You know, usually… usually I don’t mind when you do that because that’s your thing and I wouldn’t like you to change, but right now I’m tired and really not in the mood for your sarcastic remarks about something that is out of my control as you already know.”
“Out of your control? How is your job out of your control exactly?”
“How?” Jackson raises his eyebrows. “What about the fact that I’m following orders? What about the huge amount of paperwork I’m in charge of every day? What about all the information I have to read to prepare for the witnesses’ testimonies? I think you have no idea the million things I’ve been doing since I got this job… and especially since we got a date for this trial.”
“I think the fact that I haven’t seen you that often kind of suggests that… yeah. And I…” Stiles licks his lips as he thinks about how to verbalize what he’s feeling. “I don’t like it… I really don’t.”
“Yeah…”Jackson nods, “I think that’s already been established.”
“Yeah, but I’m not talking just about your schedule and how that’s affecting us… I’m talking about you and what you should be doing because even if we weren’t together… even if we broke up… I wouldn’t like you to be this stressed… this is not… it’s not healthy and if your parents knew what’s going on, I’m sure they would agree with me.”
“Hold on, what’s this thing about ‘if we broke up’... why did you even say that?”
Because just hearing those words coming out of Stiles’s mouth has been enough to make his heart beat faster.
“Are you saying you’ve thought about it?” Jackson raises his eyebrows expectantly.
“I’ve not…” Stile shakes his head, “thought about it. I mean, I’m upset and disappointed but before thinking of that, I want us to fix it. Breaking up because of your new job would be really fucked up, don’t you think? It would mean, we’ve totally failed… and we didn’t endure being apart all these years, to end things now because of this. That was never the plan. A plan you agreed on if you remember.”
“Well, that’s good. Of course, I want to follow the plan and I also want to fix it. I do agree that this is far from the ideal situation for us but the plan was also for me to get a job with a decent salary and you should remember my lack of experience, so it’s not that easy to stick to the plan right away. Hell, you’re in the same situation... You should understand it better than anyone.”
“You’re wrong. My father can’t offer me a job and yours can, and he asked you to work at his firm when you graduated. You’d make more money and you’d get experience… not to mention the fact that I’d get to see you and you wouldn’t have to wake me up to fuck me or whatever else you were hoping to happen tonight… so, honestly, I think you should reconsider it if you really want to fix this."
Jackson sighs, hiding his face in his hands for a few seconds as he thinks.
”Okay, message received,” Jackson’s voice muffled by his hands.
“I honestly never expected it to be this complicated. And working with my father right away…”
“What?” Stiles raises his eyebrows when Jackson stops there.
“This might sound… Okay, I don’t know how it sounds… but I guess I’m afraid of disappointing him. I don't know, I’m afraid that I won’t be as good as he expects me to be so—”
“Hold on, that’s stupid—Stupid on different levels actually. Oh-my-fucking-god,” Stiles shakes his head. The way Jackson’s mind works sometimes makes no sense to him and he shouldn’t be surprised but he still is. Every time.
“You’re wrong—It’s not,” Jackson shakes his head. "My father—”
“First of all," Stiles interrupts him. "I think your dad was looking forward to working with you because you are his son and he’s proud of you, and he’d be really happy to help you become a better attorney if you gave him the opportunity. He’s been where you are now and he knows how you feel and what you’re facing, so of course, he’d like to support you and help you overcome any problem that you might have. And secondly, he knows you’re smart, you had great marks and he knows you’d be a good asset for his firm… so he knows he’s lucky to have you there if you choose that path—The fact that you might have thought what you just said—Hell, that’s frustrating… and you should have told me, you know? Maybe we should work harder on our communication skills—”
“I guess we do.” Jackson appreciates that at least Stiles is not blaming just him even if he knows that in this case, it was mostly his fault even if Stiles should have told him all this earlier… but there have been other times when it hasn’t been and Stiles obviously remembers that.
Jackson pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “This is really fucked up.”
“I must say something but don’t take it the wrong way, okay?” it’s been at the back of Stiles’ mind but for some reason he never actually said it.
Jackson snorts, “why should I?”
Stiles licks his lips as he thinks about how to continue. “I understand that prosecutors have a job to do and I know it's full of difficulties…obviously it is... and if you are determined to be the best prosecutor that has ever existed in Beacon Hills, I’m perfectly okay with it—”
“But?” Jackson frowns.
“I know you. You have… I mean, you have this hunger for justice… it’s what drives you. Maybe your dad’s influence has something to do with it but you didn’t decide to become an attorney just because of him and I’m pretty sure your family knows that too—”
“Stiles—” Jackson interrupts him.
“Let me finish,” Stiles says. They've never really talked about this and maybe it’s time Jackson listens to how he feels.
Jackson thinks he knows what he’s going to say. He’s 99% sure.
“Fine, go ahead,” Jackson nods.
(To be continued...)