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Mike Wheeler and the Kissing Dilemma
Mike Wheeler isn’t the brightest, he gets that. He's sorta become more oblivious every year his birthday comes around and he gets a bit older. Maybe that’s an adult thing. probably. He doesn’t really know.
But one thing for sure he knows is that he should probably like kissing. Hey, he doesn’t totally hate kissing, he just finds it unamusing, boring, sometimes even revolting. He just thinks that the movies should maybe have made this shit a little clearer, if he was being honest. Maybe he needs to lower his expectations. So he tries that.
He tries to erase every popular female movie star that he’s ever heard about in his teenage lifetime. Doesn’t fucking work.
So next on his official list, a plan titled “How to enjoy kissing.”, he decides to ask a friend, well, Lucas. Lucas knows everything, hell, he and Max are going quite strong and enjoy kissing. So maybe he’ll do that.
He runs over to Lucas’ house the next morning and runs into Erica.
“Oh, it’s you.” She snarkily remarks.
“Uh, is Lucas here?”
“Of course he is, stupid. It's morning. Where else would he be?” Erica rolled her eyes in annoyance and just let him in.
Erica walked up the stairs before yelling, and Mike quotes, “Hey, Luke! Your lame loser friend is here!”.
“Tell him to get up here!” He yells back. She turns to Mike unamused and walks down the stairs. He held onto the sturdy oak railing as I walk up.
He enters Lucas’ room and sits down on his bed, while he’s at his desk, working on something, he assumes.
“What’s up, dude? You usually never come over, anymore.” Mike grimaces at the reminder of how shitty a friend he’s been since the Byers and El had left.
He clears his throat and decides to pop the question.
“Is kissing supposed to feel boring?” He lies on the bed like a starfish, looking at the ceiling.
“What…?” He hears Lucas softly murmur.
“Are you gonna answer?” He asked, quite confused.
Lucas turned his chair, facing him. Mike got up and looked back at him. Lucas looked like he’d asked him if you could drink bleach.
“What?” He felt a little uncomfortable with the face Lucas was giving him, if he was being a little honest. Did he say something weird?
“So… you never liked kissing El?” Lucas slowly questioned.
“What? No, I like kissing! And El isn’t involved in this!” Mike quickly defended himself.
“But, you literally said you find kissing boring, dude. I don’t think kissing is the problem, it’s who you were kissing.”
“How- how could you even come to that conclusion?! El was like.. My girlfriend. We kind of had to kiss.” He snapped back.
“God… Dustin and Max were totally right about you.” Lucas shook his head.
“What did they say about me?” Mike’s face twisted into a grimace, waiting for the horrible comments, especially from Max.
“You’re oblivious.” What? He’s not that oblivious, everyone’s a little oblivious, right?
“Am not!” Mike quipped back like a child.
“Definitely are.” Lucas sighed and started digging through his wallet.
“What are you doing…?” Mike spoke confusedly.
“Getting my money out. Man, I just lost my entire wallet through this bet.” Lucas groaned.
“A bet? Seriously? There’s really nothing you can bet on regarding me.” He scowled a little, his friends betting on him? That was a new low for Max, Dustin and Lucas.
“You’re pretty much wrong there. You’re like the last person to figure this out. Congrats, though!” He walked out of his room, nonchalantly.
“Congrats on what?” Mike called after him, but he just ignored him and ran down the stairs. Congrats ? What the hell was he congratulating him on?
That’s a new thing to add to the list.
Figure out what Lucas meant, and what that bet on him was about.
That was his new objective. He just has to know. What the hell do they even mean?
So when he went to El’s the next day, he decided he was going to figure this out. Surely she would know! She’s smart, and a badass!
“El?” He gently knocked on the door.
He saw the door open and looked at her.
“I’m busy working on homework, I do not have time.” She simply said before going to close the door.
“Wait! I have a quick question.” He quickly huffed out.
She looked at him, persuading him to go on.
“Did.. Max, Dustin or Lucas mention any bet to you? Involving… me?” He asked.
She looked at him just like how Lucas had looked at him when he asked why kissing was so boring. What the hell is even happening? Is everyone brainwashed and he’s living in a dream?
“They did not mention any bet. They were talking about you the other day, when you and Will couldn’t come join us for a hangout.” She shrugged
“Really?! What’d they say?” He exclaimed a little too loud. She flinched a little at his volume and he looked at her apologetically.
“They called you… oh- bleh- vee- us?” She somewhat struggled with words still, but she was trying.
“Oblivious?”
“Yes, that. They also started talking about you and Will. I do not remember what they said about that though. I hope I helped.” She smiled shyly.
“Thanks, that helped! Gotta go.” I thanked her quickly before leaving the cabin.
I’ve got somewhat of an answer to one of my questions, another one to go.
But still… I couldn’t keep my mind off of it. Even though I had somewhat answered it, I still wanted to get the entirety. I sighed and decided to go to the other two involved.
First, Dustin’s.
“Sorry man, can’t really force you with this thing. Also I’m busy. Now shoo.” He waved him away before starting to tinker with his latest project.
Great, no answer.
Lastly, Max’s.
Mike saw Max outside her trailer, kneeling on the ground near a fence, with her crutches lying on the grass.
“Max!” He called out. He ran up to her quickly, and she turned to Mike.
“Ah, of course it’s you, Wheeler.” She sneered.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Mike grumbled, before remembering what he was here for.
“Anyway- what the hell did you bet on involving me?” He asked.
“Oh, just regarding your obliviousness.” She spoke without a care in the world.
He grumbled and just decided to go home. His friends were total assholes. Well, except Will. Will was always cool, really good-looking and-
Oh. Oh shit. Lucas was right. He just didn’t want to kiss El. He wanted to kiss… Will. Those feelings at the Snowball made sense now. Oh, fuck. He was oblivious. Really oblivious.
All of his questions were answered. He put the dots together. So as Mike’s impulsive self did, he made a new plan.
“How to stop liking Will.”
He hopes it’ll work.