Work Text:
January 4th
Paris Chili’s squad (Group Text)
BigBossTao: Check out the security cam footage from the restaurant dumpsters last night!
Trash Pandas! [attachment]
Guiltless_grElle: They are soooooo cute.
Are they a little couple?
Icame_Isaw_Isaac: I want to believe in romance!
Tara_at_the_Bar-a: They are pretty cute.
InTheDarc-y: THEY NEED A TIKTOK.
CAN I MAKE ONE DAD?
BigBossTao: Once again, please stop placing me at the head of this dysfunctional family tree.
We are literally the same age.
InTheDarc-y: CANICANICANI?
Don’t answer, I already posted it
January 9th
Post by Linda Winsome on the Linked-in Human Resources Message Board
The conflict between brand management, human resources, and corporate policy.
Viral videos that are filmed in the workplace can be an issue, but they can also drive brand engagement. I’ve seen some recent examples, and would love to hear everyone’s take on them. This Tick Tock showed up on my feed today [Nicholas and Charlotte, a love story], clearly using security camera footage. What are your thoughts - good or bad for business?
January 9th
Paris Chili’s squad (Group Text)
InTheDarc-y: Nicky and CharChar have 507k views!
ChiliCharlie: ???
InTheDarc-y: MY TIKTOK!
[screenshot]
[link]
Guiltless_grElle: Tiny raccoon hands! soooo adorable
Tara_at_the_Bar-a: Disgustingly cute, even
ChiliCharlie: Did you really name the raccoons “Nicholas and Charlotte”?
InTheDarc-y: THEY NEEDED NAMES
Icame_Isaw_Isaac: It seems to appropriately capture how sickeningly in love these raccoons act
PicNicktoGo: I would be offended, but look at them, Char.
[heart eyes emoji]
[25 x heart emojis / cute eyes emojis]
I love them so much.
Can we adopt a raccoon?
ChiliCharlie: No, we can't adopt a raccoon
InTheDarc-y: But… could we live stream these ones?
Make a website like the UT Falcon cam?
BigBossTao: A live stream? Such low production values, tho. And where’s the story?
[thinking emoji]
Maybe it’s time to put my incomplete Bachelors in Film Production to good use?
ChiliCharlie: Oh no...what have we done???
January 9
Amazon Order History: Tao Xu
Blink Outdoor Security Camera: Qty 2
GoPro Hero10 (Black): Qty 1
Gimbal Stablizer for Smartphone: Qty 1
Adobe Premiere Elements 2023: Qty 1
YouTube Channels for Dummies (Book): Qty 1
January 15th
Excerpt from Ms. Sconce’s Weekly Smore Newsletter to Classroom Parents and Caregivers
Our classroom family was so excited to begin our “Wild Animal Neighbors” segment! This week we did a short nature hike around the school to look for and identify any animal scat. Scholars drew pictures of what we saw, modeled them in clay, and researched the animals that made the droppings.
[picture of poorly modeled animal poop, made with brown clay]
We were able to identify the following animals based off their leavings:
- White Tailed Deer (Odocoileus virginianus)
- Eastern cottontail (Sylvilagus floridanus)
- Coyote (Canis latrans)
- Striped Skunk (Mephitis mephitis)
- Canine (likely domesticated)
EXTRA CREDIT OPPORTUNITY! I am attaching a link to a few video streams (A friend of mine just shared one that is from our local Chili’s, right here in Paris!) For 10 points extra credit, scholars can spend some time watching one of the linked videos or live streams and filling out the attached animal behavior observation log.
Link to the Local Chili’s raccoons
Link to University of Texas Falcon Cam
As always, have fun and learn!
Ms. Sconce,
Truham Elementary, 4th Grade
January 16th
Fourth Grade Homework Assignment completed by Alice W., dated January 16th, completed and returned.
ANIMAL OBSERVATION SHEET
KEY TERMS
Ethogram: a list of all the different kinds of behavior exhibited by an animal
Focal animal: an animal selected for a behavioral observation
INSTRUCTIONS
Each student will choose one individual focal animal to observe. Every fifteen seconds for three minutes, students will observe and record the focal animal’s behavior at that moment. Review the back of this page for a key with possible behaviors.
Animal Observed: Chili’s raccoons
0:15 - Food related: Eat
0:30 - Food related: Look for food
0:45 - Food related: Look for food
1:00 - Food related: Eat
1:15 - Social: Groom Others
1:30 - Social: Play
1:45 - Social: Play
2:00 - Social: Play (?)
2:15 - Aggressive: Fight (?)
2:30 - GO/P/F (?)
2:45 - GO/P/F (?)
3:00 - GO/P/F (?)
Dear Ms. Sconce,
I could not tell what the raccoons were doing for the last 45 seconds of my observation. The big one was climbing on the little one and they were both making yowling noises, so I thought they were fighting, but there was also some grooming and playing activity, I think? I am still learning, I am not a professional biologist. I hope that this counts for full credit.
Alice W.
January 17th
Comment section on Reddit Post linking "Last Dumpster in Paris" YouTube channel with a livestream, as well a black and white french noir supercut of the highlights. “Nicholas and Charlotte, a Chili’s love story”
Tag-Yor-It: Awww… these raccoons are so cute.
NY-FL_Doll: I love trash pandas! I wish I could carry them around in my pocket for good vibes every day. They are so adorable!
Kool-like-KoolAid: Sometimes I swear they look at the camera. Do you think they know?
Naughty4Nature: Uh, Y’all? I work at a wildlife rehabilitation center and those are definitely both males.
Waterbears-theOG-enbys: Re: Naughty4Nature: Yes! I’m pretty sure “Charlotte” is actually “Charles” [laugh emoji] [eggplant emoji]
Skeptical_Sally: Re: Naughty4Nature: So what - they are just roommates?
AliensRwise: Re: Skeptical_Sally Re: Naughty4Nature: Pretty sure that that isn’t “roommate activity” at the 3:49 timestamp
KSO_4_Queso: Re: Naughty4Nature: Nick and Charlie! Narlie for life! Its a ship-show!
January 18th
Article from the Dallas Morning News, Arts & Entertainment Section, Subheading “Pop Culture”
Paws to watch: Local viral raccoons make a second splash when the internet finds out the partnered pairing are two males.
PARIS, TEXAS – Local raccoon celebrities Nick and Charlotte got the internet talking again when an intrepid viewer did some pause and zooming on a still from a recent webcast and revealed a below-the-belt surprise.
“Uh, y’all?” Redditor Naughty4Nature shared, “I work at a wildlife rehabilitation center and those are definitely both males.”
Within a few hours, several other wildlife aficionados agreed with the initial assessment, citing the width of their faces, their similar sizes, and the fact that, in the shot, both of their (decidedly male) genitalia were briefly visible through their thick fur.
“Same-sex sexual behavior in animals is more common than most people assume,” reported Nathan Ajayi, PhD. Ajayi is a Professor of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology at Rice University. “It’s been observed in more than 1,500 species, and it’s probably present in more. It’s only been in recent decades that we’ve actively begun looking for it. Human researchers have a tendency to push our own social and societal norms onto animal behavior. Leading modern theories actually propose that indiscriminate mating preceded the development of sex-specific preferences in our evolutionary history.”
Parents Protecting Paris representative Harriette Greene, who also commented on the original YouTube post, did not agree. When contacted for comment, she responded “Animal sex and the “theory” of “evolution” have no place in our schools OR on the internet. I am looking for wholesome Ranger Rick montages. Raccoons should be known for practicing good hygiene since they wash their food before eating it, being the animal version of stereotypical robbers due to their tiny masks, and serving as Davy Crockett hats in the annual Texas History pageant. Our schools need to get RID of these RADICALS who are spreading their HOMO-SEXUAL AGENDA, one livestream at a time.”
Local animal control officer Francine Poulet issued a brief statement that in spite of internet consensus, the animals’ sexes remained unverified, and would remain so for the foreseeable future, as she had to go chase down a rogue pig that was terrorizing the residents of Deckawoo Drive.
What will be the next twist in the story of these nocturnal nibblers? Is this match made to last? Or will the late-night-snacking turned late-night-shacking end in raccoon heartbreak?
January 19th
From the Dallas Morning News, Corrections, Omissions, and Errors section
The recent article “Paws to watch: Local viral raccoons make a second splash when the internet finds out the partnered pairing are two males” erroneously referenced the viral raccoons in Paris, TX as “Nicholas and Charlotte”. After the comments from youtube went viral, the youtube channel changed all references of the name Charlotte to Charles.
January 19th
Paris Chili’s squad (Group Text)
ChiliCharlie: So Darcy named the trash pandas after me and Nick and then they turned out to be gay? 😂
InTheDarc-y: It's fate!
PicNickToGo: Hey! Bi-erasure! trashpanda!Nick is bi.
January 20th
Facebook post by "Karen&Kyle Killjoy", joint Facebook account
If you don't think their is an agenda out there then YOUR NOT PAYING ATTENTION! My precious niece (Kaleighoty) came home last week with an assignment to study GAY RACCOONS?! But they won't teach cursive? Schools should go back to teaching the three R's! and not common core "new math" either. I should be able to send my kids to school where they can stand up every day saying the pledge of allegiance to the USA flag and the Texas flag without them being exposed to any unhinged brainwashing grooming propaganda.
January 23rd
The following is excerpted from a flier that was handed out to parents waiting in the car line to pick up their students at Truham Elementary School
Parents Protecting Paris (PPP) is officially calling for the removal of Ms. Sconce from her 4th grade teaching position.
If you or your child is being asked to adhere to "gender fluidity" policies or if you see teachers or administrators engaged in such practices, you can report it to [email protected] and have your information kept anonymous. We just ask that you give as many details as possible so we know where and how to investigate.
The game is rigged against parents, teachers, and kids who want to do the right thing. But with your help it doesn't have to be. A vast majority of parents and teachers want our kids to learn in a healthy environment unaffiliated by radical policies and weird theories. We can use all the help we can get.
It has come to our attention that on January 15th, Ms. Sconce included a link to the infamous "Chili's Gay Raccoons" as a part of their 4th grade wildlife curriculum. This is precisely the type of normalization pushing the radical left agenda that we must be on watch for.
We are calling on you, our fellow like minded parents and teachers, to join us at the next school board meeting on January 26th and call for the removal of Ms. Sconce and the radical woke agenda they bring. We must protect the children of Paris, Texas!
January 24th
Linked-in Direct Message
From: Linda House, Higgs Retail, Human Resources
To: Linda T. Everton, Chili’s Grill & Bar, Human Resources
<Forward> The conflict between brand management, human resources, and corporate policy
Hey Girly - saw this and thought of you. Aren’t you working over at Chili’s these days?
January 27th
Excerpt from the Dallas Observer, Dallas' independent source of local news and culture
Community rallies around elementary school teacher, and local raccoon celebrities
PARIS, TEXAS – Sparks flew at the Paris School District School Board meeting Thursday, January 26th as the extremist group, Parents Protecting Paris, called for the removal of local school teacher Ms. Sconce. The open comment section dragged on for nearly two hours, despite the 10 minute time limit per commenter, with parents and teachers coming to the defense of the beloved head 4th grade teacher, currently in her 12th year at Truham Elementary.
Notable excerpts from last night’s meeting video include the following:
"I'm not sayin' kids should learn about sex at school. But they should learn it the old fashioned way. By watching two animals go at it in the back pasture. Don't see how this is that different." - Bubba T., Father of 2 Truham students
“What two raccoons want to do inside the privacy of their own Chili's dumpster doesn't affect me or mine.” - Cathy B., Mother of 1 Paris HS student
"God didn't say nothing about no raccoons. They ain't got souls.” - Commenter did not provide name
Nellie S. Bork, Chair of the Paris District School Board, issued a rare contemporaneous statement in response to the comments, stating that the school board stands “100% behind the educational value of examining all local wildlife and will not be opening any investigations into the manner as Ms. Sconce has their full support.”
The Dallas Observer caught up with Ms. Sconce after the tumultuous school board meeting. The teacher stated that they were advised by their representation to not make any official comments, but they were willing to go on the record to state that “Science is real, yo”. All further comments and questions were asked to be directed to the school administration.
Further examination into the Parents Protecting Paris organization has uncovered ties to extremists groups seeking to upend local control at the schools. The Dallas Observer will be starting an investigative series on the attempted usurping of local control in the area.
January 28th (4:00pm)
Paris Chili’s squad (Group Text)
Icame_Isaw_Isaac: Who is up for something fun after closing tonight?
Tara_at_the_Bar-a: I could accidentally make up a few too many pitchers of margaritas
BigBossTao: You know I'm in this chat right?
And I’m the manager now?
I can literally see this.
InTheDarc-y: you didn’t mind before you were promoted.
Tara_at_the_Bar-a: He led the way with over-making margaritas when he was a bartender.
InTheDarc-y: Hey Tara… want to make like some raccoons in drygoods tonight?
[suggestive eye gif]
BigBossTao: Literally still on this chat
Besides, that’s gross. Its a restaurant
Guiltless_grElle: Oh.
Sweety.
Have you ever looked at the employee records since you got your new position?
Icame_Isae_Isaac: Who’s gonna tell him
ChiliCharlie: [Gif of whistling and walking away]
PicNicktoGo: [Gif of hiding]
BigBossTao: What? What am I missing?
Icame_Isaw_Isaac: *cough*
there was a reason why Nick and Charlie are never scheduled close together anymore since last May
January 28th
Disciplinary warning from the Chili's Employment Files, Filed on May 20th, 2022
Most recently accessed by store manager, Tao Xu, on January 28th, 2023, 4:09pm
Written Warning Discipline Notice
Employee Name: Charles Spring, Nicholas Nelson
Date: May 20, 2022
Department: Waitstaff, Serving
Date of Incident May 13, 2022
Date of Hire: January 1, 2022
◻ Verbal
☑ Written
◻ Suspension
◻ Discharge Effective N/A
Reason for warning or discipline
(check one or more box as appropriate. Explain fully in remarks section)
☑ Violation / Failure to observe work rules and/or procedures
◻ Insubordination
◻ Tardiness, absenteeism, failure to report for work
☑ Damage or misuse of company property
◻ Discourtesy or verbal abuse of guest or employee
◻ Physical or verbal assault and/or flighting
☑ Other
Remarks: Explain reasons for warning or discipline, including specific details of incident or violation; include prior warning(s)
When reviewing security tape, it was discovered that Mr. Spring and Mr. Nelson, both employees of Chili's Grill and Bar located in Paris, TX, had been using the dry goods area to “get intimate”. This involved partial nudity and physical contact. Employees appeared to be unaware of the location of the security cameras.
Employee Signature Nick Nelson, Charlie F. Spring
Supervisor Signature Noah Barnes
Manager Note: Written warning will be duplicated and added to each employee’s file
January 30th
Email from Chili’s Grill & Bar, Corporate Headquarters
To: Mr. Tao Xu, Restaurant General Manager, Paris, TX
From: The desk of Linda P. Higgsly, Esq.
Chili’s Grill & Bar, Legal Department
Subject: Possible violations
Mr. Xu,
Your store recently came to our attention due to the recent viral video on TikTok featuring two raccoons named “Nicholas" and "Charlotte.” In addition to the offending video, they appear to have set up a streaming website using footage from restaurant premises featuring a “Nicholas and Charlie”. I am contacting you directly as Linda T. Everton is taking an emergency leave of absence after suffering ptsd flashbacks from a prior job (something about the names of the raccoons, I did not inquire further).
While the existence of the channel alone is not worthy of reprimand, the fact that the footage being disseminated on the TikTok video is clearly from a facility security camera and the videos themselves display the Chili's logo is a serious legal concern. A Very Serious Concern.
I cannot emphasize this enough, Mr. Xu.
Linda T. Everton has assured me that your record as a manager is spotless to date (Good job meeting your sales goals for the quarter!). I do not want to accuse you of malfeasance. However, I would advise you to change all passwords and ensure your office computer is password protected and your door remains locked AT ALL TIMES. Please remain vigilant and inform us of any thing that you may learn about the culprits.
If you do happen to know the offender who maintains the "Last Dumpster in Paris" YouTube channel, we STRONGLY SUGGEST that they please private the video until it has been approved by our brand management team (Linda Q.).
Thank you,
Linda P. Higgsly, Esq.
January 30th
Paris Chili’s squad, (Group Text)
BigBossTao: Trouble
Corporate is onto us
I’m going to have to shut down the site for a bit
**In_the_Darc-y changed BigBossTao’s name to BabyBackBitchTao**
February 2nd
5:00 News - Local News that matters to you!
Outside Chili's in Paris, TX, a perky blonde reporter stands in front of the Chili's sign while a white van with "Live News at 5" emblazoned on the side waits in the background. The camera crew adjusts the lights.
"Are you going to lose the jacket?" The producer’s voice crackles in the small headset in her ear. The reporter just rolls her eyes, mumbling "It's February" under her breath.
And you're live in 3…2…1…
"Good evening. I'm standing here in front of a local Chili's. Earlier today we witnessed what appeared to be a spontaneous protest as a second video about our infamous local racoons went viral, this time with a darker insinuation."
“Only two nights ago, the popular late night YouTube stream went unexpectedly dark. Then, yesterday, high school student Aled Last was the first to break the story via their viral TikTok that Chili's corporate headquarters were the ones who requested the raccoon live stream be removed.”
The camera pans over to show a group of around 15 people with protest signs standing by the street.
"Chili's has not responded to the accusations of corporate homophobia."
The camera zooms in on a few of the protest signs
[I’m Anti- Homophobic Queso!]
[your pepper is a coward]
[Pick a Peck of Pickled Patriarchy]
[We’re here. We’re Queer. We’re eating at Olive Garden instead]
Cut to video clip featuring a woman with striking blue eyes, captioned Imogen Heaney, Chili’s Brand Manager. “Chili's Grill and Bar is not very much homophobic. We're an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community."
Cut back to the reporter in front of the Chili's sign again.
“For now, the community of Paris, TX will wait and watch to see if and when they will once again be able to watch their beloved Narlie Raccoons.
Back to you, Jon."
…and we're dark. that's a wrap.
February 10th
Paris Chili’s squad, (Group Text)
BabyBackBitchTao: Check out this new promotion from corporate [eyeroll emoji]
[Text from attached screenshot]
Announcement for all District and Store managers:
It has come to our attention that the recent shuttering of the Paris,TX Raccoon Live Stream has resulted in a backlash. We at Chili’s would like to reiterate our support of the LGBTQ+ community, and our ongoing quest for queso to be considered the original anti-homophobia cheese! To emphasize this point, for a limited time only Chili’s will be releasing special Nick and Charlie the raccoon pride-themed merchandise, available for purchase at each store’s hostess stand. Merchandising signs will be sent out shortly - please see the attached branding. We expect this will be a hot commodity and will drive traffic to the store!
inTheDarc-y: It smacks of “rainbow washing” but IDC because OMG Nicky and CharChar are famous!
February 14th
Nick & Charlie, text exchange
Nick: Hey Char
Nick: Any idea why Tao is keeping the manager's office door locked these days?
Charlie: …you don’t think he found the work lube we stashed there, do you?